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Home > Roger The Alien Sounds: American...
NSFW Audio: Use caution, some sounds may be offensive
Ah ah.
Ah, that sounded kind of effeminate.
And you gotta come get me.
Are you on Thorazine?
As soon as you're dead, I'm going to completely redo this place.
At gesundheit.
Because I'm going to need a lot of happy to get over all this sad.
But I gotta go.
But if you expect to get any boob, I'm going to need a butt load of Twinkies.
Can someone tell snake pliskin here to back off?
Can you please help me? I'm not drunk.
Damn it, I don't care.
Did you get those pecan sandies I asked for?
Did you see where they went?
Do you know Lou Ferrigno was deaf?
Do you know what you've done?
Doctor Kirkland from Costco.
Don't be starting what you can't finish batch.
Don't cry.
Don't you know I like you?
Ello ello.
Every six years my glaxon shoot up into my foam pairs, causing me to lactate a viscous Milky mucus.
Fat ass carpetbagger.
Gazoon tight.
Go to hell.
Ha ha.
Hey, dumb ass.
Hey, I didn't order rude service.
Hey, I'm Roger. Nice to meet you.
Hi can you please help me? I'm not drunk.
Holy, free, holy. I got an idea.
Honey, I'm home.
How dare you.
How else can I get you to listen? You don't respect me.
How late trap can a guy fall into a stress induced hibernation cycle without being chucked in the trash?
How many months you been mouth to mouthing?
I am beautiful.
I am not a loser. You take that back.
I am not ugly.
I can't die out here in the woods.
I couldn't help it. It's my nature. Somebody hands me an angle, I play it.
I don't deserve to die for that. Do you think I do?
I don't know. Somehow it's hard to take him as seriously.
I happen to be going through my reproductive cycle. It's complicated.
I hate this place.
I hope my God, everything that happens from this point on is just gravy.
I mean, what? What year is it? Who's president?
I met the Smithsonian.
I thought I was your pal.
I went shrinky Dinks. You put them in the oven. It's like baking art.
I'll come down there and I will make such a scene.
I'll come down there. Oh yeah, I'll come down there and I will make such a scene.
I'm a good listener. Do you know how rare that is in this universe?
I'm at the Smithsonian. You gotta come get me.
I'm going to make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears.
I'm not actually, am I?
I'm praying to you. I can't die.
I'm so, so sorry.
I'm thinking something vibrant, like a sea foam green.
I've given myself a horse bath with your dog.
Is your refrigerator running?
It's Doctor Kirkland from Costco.
It's not my fault. I don't feel well.
It's past noon. You're already high.
Jamaican me crazy.
Jennifer Connelly.
Laughing 3
Let me talk to the fish.
Let's give it a few more minutes.
Look in your heart. I'm praying to you. Look at your heart.
Mind your own business.
Modern and friendly.
Morning, everybody.
No, I don't think so. I'm not in the mood.
No, no, no. You wouldn't want to hear about it.
No. Ohh.
Now come on, that's a shut in I only have two pleasures, trash TV and booze.
Now go to hell.
Now God, ohh God. I'm out, I'm out. Yeah, yeah.
Now I never want to see you again.
Now I was dating a pool guy and he thought it'd be kinky if we gave each other chlorine massages.
Now this is gonna be life changing.
Now you're a beast. A beast.
Now, I don't know what you've heard about American girls, but we don't go hopping into bed with some guy we only just met.
Now, of course not.
Oh God, I've got a bear claw in my ass.
Oh my God I am freaking out. I am totally freaking out.
Oh my God, how upset are you?
Oh my God.
Oh, I'm sorry. Too fabulous.
Ohh ow ow.
Ohh yeah OK no problem.
Ohh yeah, blame the alien. The cops. Elite that up.
Ohh yeah.
Ohh, dimmer switches, dimmer switches everywhere.
Ohh, that was classic.
Ohh, you know I was gonna do it yesterday, but I got distracted.
OK, calm down, calm down. Nothing to be scared of.
Our chase. Our chase. Ouch.
Our what fresh hell is this?
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies.
Right, I should probably wait.
Roger the clumsy alien.
Run to the arms of your whore. It's what your gut at.
Seriously. On a scale from one to piss.
She don't speak.
Sorry about that. Once every seven hours like clockwork.
Sorry, I've I've had that one loaded up all night.
Sorry, pal, you're going to jail where they're gonna take your cherry.
That's a giant load of crap.
That's for taking my cookie.
The black guys who did this?
This is not us. This is summer hot dream.
This is Tom Collins.
Tom Collins.
Tony Blair.
Treat me like a doormat, why don't you?
VH1 was running this. I love the 80s marathon.
Want to start by cleaning that up, bitch?
We don't go hopping into bed with some guy we only just met.
Well, like yet my feelings hurt and throw a world class hissy fit.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have privatized your water and power department.
Well, where am I going to get my fix?
What are you doing?
What the hell is this?
What the hell?
What you doing?
Who gives a flying fig I'm a star? Ah.
Whoa, whoa now.
Why don't you ask your husband?
Why would you do something so awful?
With Saudi Arabia.
Wow, somebody had a big piece of grouchy pie this morning.
Wow, that is an outrage.
Yeah, I'm not an alien.
Yeah, it's been that kind of weak girlfriend, but hey, TGI hump day, huh?
Yeah, run. Yeah, yeah, run to the arms of your whore. It's what you're good at.
Yeah, that's a big dirty S for schmutz.
Yeah, the boss is being a real catch you next Tuesday.
Yeah. Yeah.
You bastard.
You bastard.
You can't do this. It's not right, it's a wrong situation.
You disgust me.
You don't respect me.
You know, we can't all look like those anorexic aliens in the James Cameron movies.
You'll take that back.
You're going to jail where they're gonna take your cherry.
You're so adorable.
Your Lantern jawed, Sasquatch. You throw any of your kids on a garbage today?