Jingle All the Way (1996) Edit

A Johnny Seven O.M.A. gun.

A little Christmas surprise for Johnny.

A merry Christmas to you, Officer. What are you, crazy?

A Turbo Man doll, yes.

About spending time with his family on Christmas eve.

Accessories sold separately. Batteries not included.

Ah!

Ah! That will be 300.

Ah.

Ah. But Santa gets very busy this time of the year.

All I want is to salvage what's left of Christmas eve...

All right, just stay there.

All right, kid! End of the line!

All right, kid. Give me the doll, and nobody gets hurt.

All right, put them in a van and lock 'em up.

All right!

All sales are final.

All these important Christmas letters that people send to folks...

And as for you, Turbo Man...

And as if I didn't have enough pressure in my life..

And by the way, in accordance with the laws of supply and demand..

And don't forget, you're my number one customer.

And finds clothes instead of toys.

And go to the parade with my son.

And he's in my house...

And his dad got him a Johnny Seven O.M.A. gun.

And his sidekick Booster.

And honestly, I don't want to anymore.

And how about those little, stupid letters from kids to Santa at the North Pole?

And I kind of yelled at him.

And I said, "All you need is Italian salad dressing."

And I studied psychology, so I'm right in there.

And I'll know if you move, 'cause I have the ears of a snake!

And I've yet to see a sign of that supposed Turbo Man doll.

And me? Well— [Scoffs]

And no extra charge

And since you didn't put up any yourself, I thought, what the heck?

And the boomerang shooter and the rock and roar jet pack...

And the bus..

And the coffee...

And the roof didn't sit quite straight...

And then Johnny would whip out his Johnny Seven O.M.A. one man army gun.

And then they sit there and use subliminal messages to suck your children's minds out!

And then when you get the toy, it breaks, and you can't fix it because it's cheap plastic!

And there's also a microphone inside the helmet...

And what do we do? We screw it up.

And with that realistic voice box that says, "It's turbo time."

And you being such a handyman—

And you guys come barging in here...

And you're not the kind of guy who's got enough foresight...

And you're stealing presents from under the tree.

And, uh— And if you’re willing to go through all of that for him...

And, uh, the bomb.

Any luck in finding that doll?

Are those hands registered weapons yet? [Chuckles]

Are you laughing at me?

Are you out of your mind? Put this thing away! This is not worth it!

Are you two under the impression...

At your Labor Day barbecue, remember?

Aw, man! Awesome!

Awesome!

Back up! This is a homemade explosive device! And I'll blow it up!

Backwards.

Balthazar.

Battle evil with America's favorite superhero...

Because I've got a bigger brain.

Because of two minutes? Because of two minutes you're not—

Because the last thing that I want on my conscience right now...

Because this time of year, there's a very high incidence of stress related breakdown.

Because you, the father, who's working 24 7...

Because you're our number one customer.

Booster? Who wants Booster?

But Dad's not home yet.

But don't worry. I got it all on video for you.

But he didn't come and it's all my fault.

But I was thinkin', you'd have done the same thing.

But let me tell you the truth

But look, I got a gift certificate, which is just as good.

But Mom and I always go. Anyway, this year Turbo Man's gonna be there

But no more.

But she shouldn't worry.

But this I would like to do by myself.

But yelling at him for no good reason?

But you always say that, and you never come anyways.

But you know what? I'm one step ahead of you..

But you know what? We got plenty of Turbo Man's faithful saber tooth tiger Booster.

But you should have seen his face light up.

But— Of course, for my old man...

But, Jamie, I thought you wanted this doll more than anything.

Can I come in?

Can we get out and stand with them while you park the car?

Cat in the Hat!

Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick!

Christmas carols, snowflakes, Santa Clauses.

Christmas comes but once a year.

Christmas was just another opportunity to let me down.

Ciao, baby.

Come back here, my little pretty and your little doll too!

Come here. Stop that man!

Come on, man. Let's do it. Let's be a team!

Come on, Myron. You're taking this too far.

Come on!

Come on! Not now!

Come on. Come on. What are you, chicken? Chick, chick, chick.

Come on. It's freezing out here. There's a hundred people—

Come on. Open up! Open up!

Could you ever forgive me? Please?

Dad, you can't go to work today. What about the parade?

Dad, you can't miss it. It's gonna be really cool.

Damn it.

Damn you, Howard.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen!

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen. All right.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen.

Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen..

Degenerates, lowlifes, thugs, criminals!

Delivering mail so you can make an alimony payment...

Detective Howard Lang— undercover.

Did wonders for my dad

Did you tell Ted that he could put lights up on our house?

Dog pile! Yeah!

Dollars?

Don't explain it to me. It wasn't my karate class you missed.

Don't open that up! No, no, no.

Don't worry. I'll meet you there. I promise.

Don't worry. Ted's here.

Don't you forget. You're my number one customer.

Don't you watch TV? We are being set up by rich and powerful toy cartels.

Eh! Too happy.

Enough talking.

Enough! Enough of this Turbo Man, okay?

Ever!

Everybody! You, too, Barnaby Jones.

Everything that you went through today for Jamie...

Feelings?

Finally! Where the hell have you been?

Five— it was a tommy gun. [Machine Gun Fire]

For every little boy who opens a present Christmas morning...

For every little girl who left cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas night...

For me, it all started months ago...

Forget it, Tony. This guy doesn't want our help.

Forget it. I'm not gonna sit on your lap.

Four— it's a rifle. [Rapid Gunfire]

Gee, Myron, I think you're a good guy and all...

Geez! I've been sweating like a dog in a Chinese restaurant...

Gentlemen, we've been duped.

Get out of here! You wacko!

Get out of my way! Come here, boy!

Get out of my way! Get out of my way!

Get that popcorn out my face!

Give me that ball!

Go ahead. Come on. Let's move it up.

Go ahead. Go ahead, honey. Go.

Go ahead. Have cuts, man. Last minute shopping, huh?

Go on. Let it out. Get it out of your system.

Good news! They got a late delivery of Turbo Man at Toy Works! Let's go!

Good.

Good. Because at this point...

Got it.

Grab one of those guys and just choke him, choke him until an eye pops out!

Ha, ha! I got you, kid.

Ha, ha! I'm having a good time! Bye!

Ha, ha! Missed me! [Laughs]

Ha! Oh! Is a gift certificate.

He always puts the star on. He's adamant about it.

He became a billionaire.

He is going to hit the roof.

He knows my name.

He loves you more than anything in the whole wide world.

He's busy attacking my wife's cookies, all right!

He's not part of the show!

Hello, Mr. Jacobs.

Here he is, boys and girls, live and in person—

Here you go, my man. This will warm you up.

Here.

Here. Have some nonalcoholic eggnog.

Here's how things are gonna work.

Here's my phone number.

Here's to you, Dad.

Hey, buddy! This ain't the way we rehearsed it!

Hey, buddy! This ain't the way we rehearsed it!

Hey, buddy.

Hey, chief, that's not my bag. Get it? [Chuckles]

Hey, Dad, there's Owen and his dad.

Hey, don't mean nothin'.

Hey, everybody. These two are looking for a Turbo Man

Hey, give me a ball!

Hey, guys!

Hey, hey, hey. Cut it out.

Hey, hold it. Wait!

Hey, I'm not going home without that doll!

Hey, it's cool.

Hey, Jamie, why don't you go upstairs and change, hon? It's almost time to leave.

Hey, listen, let me talk to your mother.

Hey, look, you guys, the radio station's just two blocks down on Wabasha.

Hey, Myron! I have a special delivery for you

Hey, neighbor!

Hey, Rudolph, can I buy you another round?

Hey, show a little respect for the suit, huh?

Hey, sorry about whacking you at the toy store.

Hey, sorry you missed the karate class today.

Hey, spare me the details of your twisted life, pal. Okay?

Hey, Turbo Man's gonna be there.

Hey, yo, is this genuine leather?

Hey!

Hey! [Grunts]

Hey! Hey, who are you? Huh?

Hey! You're supposed to be holding this!

Hey. Give the man a break. He's a dad trying to get a toy.

Hi, Dad! I knew you'd call!

Hi, I— Ted?

Hi, little girl

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

How do I know this is not some kind of a scam?

How do you do this?

How do you know all that?

How many toiletry kits does a man need?

How many years on the bomb squad?

How thoughtless of me.

How touching.

Howard, by the way, they say it may get icy later.

Howard, do you have any idea what time it is?

Howard, excuse me, but your wife's cookies are out of this world.

Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much...

Howard, I've been listening to your version of the truth for far too long now...

Howard, I've been thinking.

Howard, is there something bothering you?

Howard, it's Christmas eve.

Howard, where are you?

Howard, you didn't. Please tell me that you did not forget that doll.

Howard! Hey, buddy. How's it going out there?

Hundreds of these things come through the mail every day.

I am not going to ask you people to be quiet again! Do you hear me?

I am not your buddy! I tried to be your teammate! I wanted to be your friend!

I asked you to pick one up two weeks ago.

I can get into this.

I can see it in your eyes.

I can't believe this. Whatever happened to your lofty ideals, huh?

I can't do this.

I can't let this happen

I did everything within my power to get the doll for Jamie.

I didn't make it.

I don't need the right answer to win! I got this!

I don't think I want to give you access to this.

I don't want Booster.

I failed as a husband, and I failed as a father.

I got a Turbo Man for Johnny months ago.

I got caught up in the friendly spirit of competition.

I got it right away. [Sighs]

I got it! I got it!

I got the answer!

I got the... answer!

I gotta get out of here.

I gotta tell you, Santa...

I had it up to here with this Turbo Man!

I had it! I had it! I had it right here in my hands!

I had some extra lights in the garage...

I have been working on this case for the last three years...

I have to pick up the D O L L.

I hope this is not true, because I really wanted to be there.

I just have to run to the office quickly. That's it.

I just kept one in case I ever needed it.

I just was looking for a Turbo Man doll.

I know I've been neglecting both of you.

I know parts of this are going to sound completely ridiculous...

I know what I'm talking about because I went to junior college for a semester..

I know what I'm talking about.

I know what you're thinking.

I know what's going on. Then they sit there and make a kid feel like garbage...

I know— Jamie's karate class.

I know. Sugar cookies.

I know. You should have seen the traffic, and on top of that, I got a speeding ticket.

I left it there by mistake

I love you too, Jamie. I love you!

I love you. I love you both.

I mean, no, that's fine.

I mean, we were really bonding We were drawing.

I never did get that Johnny Seven O.M.A

I remember a few years ago..

I saw. I saw.

I sort of doubt that.

I still remember the commercial like it was yesterday.

I think I have something that belongs to you.

I think I'm getting the hang of this!

I think she's in the shower. Do you want me to go check?

I thought I'd take him down there and set him free

I thought you were doing all this for the kids.

I understand plenty. I know what's going on here.

I want the Turbo Man action figure with the arms and legs that move...

I wanted to do something really special for Jamie.

I was good enough to talk to in line, but I'm not good enough to be on your team!

I was just delivering some Christmas Hey!

I was the hero then.

I was thinking about that brouhaha at the toy store—

I was thinking we could join up as a team...

I was trying to—Jamie.

I wish every husband were more like you.

I won't miss it.

I won't miss it.

I wouldn't count on it, honey.

I wouldn't—

I— I got the Turbo Man doll, the one that has those things that shoot out in front...

I'll be there. I promise.

I'll have my revenge!

I'll keep an eye on the boys, finish up with the cookies.

I'll keep that in mind

I'll show him. Ha!

I'm going to take you back to your mom, okay?

I'm gonna deck your halls, bub.

I'm gonna make it.

I'm gonna make it. I hear you.

I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it.

I'm just a loser with no future.

I'm just helping Liz out a little in the kitchen. She's baking up a storm here.

I'm not a robber. I followed you all the way from the store.

I'm out all day...

I'm really late for my son's karate class.

I'm really, really sorry.

I'm sorry about that, uh, little tension we had on the roof.

I'm sorry, Jamie. Look, I didn't mean—

I'm weatherman Gale Force here with the lovely Liza Tisch of A.M. Live.

I've already got the right answer! I won! Yeah!

I've been under pressure since this Zip+4 thing.

I've been watching a family of deer down by Lake Minnetonka.

I've done something really stupid today, huh?

I've got a parade to go to...

If nature's kind, they'll take him in like he's one of their own.

If there’s anyone I don't want to have advice from right now, it's Turbo Man!

If you’re not one of the lucky few..

If you’re the first caller to correctly identify all eight of Santa's reindeer...

In the performance of my duty.

Including, "It's turbo time!"

Is for a private citizen to somehow be disappointed...

It came out great.

It just doesn't seem to be working...

It was a total freak accident what happened at rehearsal.

It's Christmas eve, and you're slaving over a hot stove.

It's Christmas eve. You've gotta have your star up.

It's easy. Just call 555 KQRS

It's fun and educational.

It's nestled safely under our tree

It's the Grinch! Scatter!

It's time I start keeping my promises.

It's useless, Liz. We can't hide our feelings any longer.

It’s just I wish that Dad could have been here, you know?

It’s just a doll.

It’s just a stupid little plastic doll!

Jamie, about that karate class tonight...

Jamie, don't walk away from your father.

Jamie, please.

Jamie, stop!

Jamie, your dad is not mad at you

Jamie!

Jamie.

Jingle bells, Batman smells.

Johnny!

Johnny's gonna get one, and so is everybody else I know.

Just for a present...

Just give me the doll, kid!

Just in case somebody survived, seven was a cap firing pistol.

Know what I'd like to do? I'd like to walk up in that office...

Know why? 'Cause I work for the post office! So you know I'm not stable!

Let me in! Let me in! I got the answer!

Let's get outta here. But I'm going first, buddy!

Let's go! Come on!

License and registration, please.

License and registration, please.

Like Bonnie and Clyde like Ike and Tina—

Like how?

Like Starsky and Hutch, like Jonny Quest and Hadji, man...

Like this?

Like, if there’s something really important...

Listen, bub, we provide a service here.

Listen, bub, we provide a service here.

Listen. It was not my fault.

Little buddy.

Liz, do you hear that? Carolers!

Liz, I'm sorry you had to go through that back there.

Liz, if you just give me a second, I could explain it to you.

Liz, looks like you could use a little you time.

Liz, please.

Liz, you're like a lost and frightened foal.

Liza, I think Turbo Man has selected a winner.

Look at me now.

Look at you.

Look what I've got for you— a shiny red ball.

Look, I was not criticizing you, Officer. It’s just that

Look, I'm— I'm sorry

Look, we get one chance a year to prove we're not screwups.

Look! It's Turbo Man and Booster!

Look. Uncle Myron wants to talk to you.

Maybe I should wrap some chains around you.

Maybe not to you, but to me it is. So back up!

Meanwhile, all this time, my "in touch with his feminine side" neighbor—

Merry Christmas, Gale.

Merry Christmas, Jamie.

Merry Christmas.

Mmm! Oh, these cookies! I got to get the recipe from Liz.

Mom, Dad, Booster.

Mom! Did you see that?

Mr. Ponytail Man, I know you! I know your kind!

Mr. Wear Your Little Fancy Cashmere Coat And Your Nice Little Suede Shoes.

My son sends me out for some goofy butt toy...

Myron Larabee.

Myron! Come on, old buddy.

Nah. It's not that important.

No, no. I I— I got it.

No, really, Ted. I'm okay.

No, you don't! [Scoffing Laugh]

No!

No!

No! Your father's been laid off!

No. Chocolate kisses. Yes, dollars!

No. I can't say that I have.

No. I know. Like this.

Not Ike and Tina, because she left, but we could do it!

Not to mention relatives sending presents they're going to have to send back anyway.

Nothing but a bunch of sleazy con men in red suits.

Now get your mother!

Now he's probably gonna miss me get my belt.

Now it's your chance to save the universe with Turbo Man!

Now what's so funny?

Now, that makes me a bad father.

Now, there must be a Turbo Man around here somewhere.

Of a special edition Turbo Man doll

Officer.

Oh, come on.

Oh, he barked up the wrong tree!

Oh, he never used to, not till he and my mom split up.

Oh, I do apologize if I've caused you some sort of delay.

Oh, I I'm sorry, Ted, but that's Howard’s job.

Oh, I love this time of year.

Oh, I think I have an idea.

Oh, I'm sorry about the bike...

Oh, is this it?

Oh, it— Well, I mean, the door was a little crooked, right?

Oh, Liz, I'm so sorry I didn't get one.

Oh, man.

Oh, no. I mean, no. It's, uh, I would like your bag.

Oh, no. You have no idea.

Oh, she won't worry. I mean, I'm here, and—

Oh, sure. What the heck. For that kind of profit, knock yourself out.

Oh, thank you, sir. I don't think you know how much he means to me.

Oh, what's he doing? Look, would you pick a kid already?

Oh, when he saw that, he was so excited.

Oh, wow!

Oh, yeah, I understand you, man.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, we've been busy, but, you know, I like that.

Oh!

Oh! He's wonderful!

Oh! This is awesome.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Okay.

Oh. That's great.

Oh. Well, o okay, but listen for the oven timer

Okay. Okay, listen up. We're running late here, so pay attention.

On your arm!

On your way out, just tell her I will be a few minutes late...

One— it's a grenade launcher. [Imitates Rocket Grenade Firing, Exploding]

Ooh! Ooh!

Ow!

Peace! 'Tis the season to be jolly.

Pick a kid so he can come up here and get his prize!

Pick me! Pick me! Over here!

Picking up a Christmas present for Jamie.

Pipe down in there!

Please—

Put it in the safe this time.

Put that cookie down! Now!

Put them down! Brother man, put your gun down!

Putting up my star on my tree.

Really?

Recite the alphabet.

Reindeer are usually such gentle animals.

Relax, buddy. I'm not about to hit a Santa Claus.

Safely under our tree

Santa never delivers a gift out in broad daylight.

Search and destroy. Divide and conquer. Me and you. What do you say?

See, I have to shop late because it's the busiest time of year for me.

See, I never forgave my father.

See, that's racism! That's what Jesse Jackson was talking about.

Seven guns in one— count 'em!

She's next door petting Ted.

Six it's an anti aircraft gun.

So could you get her on the phone, please?

So I can just put the mail in there! But you act like everything's okay!

So I couldn't find the kid a doll.

So I have to get out of my Jeep, don't you?

So what happens to Blitzen after Christmas?

So you know all about all the important controls.

So, champ...

Some fruity robot named Turtle Man.

Someone you can talk to, a shoulder to cry on.

Sometimes he even has to ask moms and dads to help out a little bit.

Sorry to hear that

Sorry, buddy, but you're on your own.

Sorry, pal. All the roads are packed. Everybody's trying to get to the parade.

Stealing from a kid?

Step out of the vehicle.

Sure, but I don't see why we can't pick up a little loose change in the process.

Sure. I've got just the tool for the job.

Ta ta, Turbo Man.

Ta ta, Turtle Man.

Take it. Count it.

Taking a look at my porch light.

Ted, I need to speak to my wife...

Ted, I was wondering if you’d mind...

Ted? What the hell are you doing on my roof?

Ted's got everything under control.

Tell me. What do you want?

Tell them!

Thank you! Now put the guns down. Now!

Thanks, Dad. I love you.

Thanks, Myron, but, no, thank you.

Thanks.

That I have a Turbo Man doll here in the studio?

That I would not do something that you tell me?

That son of a—

That was really a bomb?

That was taken this morning.

That will alter your voice to the proper tonality.

That's all right. Don't worry.

That's better.

That's my ball! Rodney King. Rodney King.

That's my boy!

That's my dad! That's my dad!

That's one away from green and three away from black.

That's right! Shut up! Why do you think the window's there?

That's Santa's helper!

That's Turbo Man. My son wants one too.

That's when I realized—you and I, we're the same kind of person.

That's... very sweet.

The 12th annual Holiday Wintertainment Parade.

The doll?

The normal reading on the pressure gauge should read anywhere below 50.

The parade's gonna start soon.

The Turbo Man dolls, they're all gone!

Then do tell me what it is because as far as I know...

There are lots of women who would give anything to be in your position right now.

There are three cutoff valves to the nitro fuel.

There is something here that doesn't seem quite, uh, kosher?

There must be something about you he doesn't like— aftershave or something.

There you are. I mean, you thought for a minute...

There. Are we finished now?

There. You see?

There's got to be one around here somewhere!

These balls will then be drawn in a standard lottery fashion to see who gets a doll.

They don't even talk to but once a year...

They spend billions of dollars on TV advertisement...

They'd probably be impossible to find.

They're looking for Turbo Man.

Thing looked like a blast.

This coming from a guy who assaulted a toddler for a SuperBall?

This is a sick world we're living in. Sick people!

This is cool. [Chuckles]

This is my ball! Yeah. Stay.

This is nothing but a harmless Christmas package.

This is war.

This man is totally insane.

This must be the sloppiest bust I've ever seen in my entire career on the force.

Those common letter writers who make fun of my kneesocks and my safari hat in the summer!

Thought you could outsmart me, didn't you, huh?

Thought your little suit idea was so slick

Three— it's an antitank gun. I see ya, buddy. [Explosive Shot]

To a woman that slept with everybody at the post office but me...

To answer your first question— yes, the rumors are true.

To get his kid a Turbo Man before Christmas eve, are you?

To keep you updated on all of this year's parade action.

To see me fly and all.

Tony, get the man his Turbo Man.

Tony, show him.

Too bad he's not as adamant...

Turbo discs, anyone?

Turbo Man, you're mine!

Turbo Man. Hey, lady!

Turbo Man. Which reminds me— you got the doll, right?

Turbo Man's only the hottest selling Christmas toy ever. Duh!

Two— it's an anti armor gun. [Explosive Shot]

Uh oh, Liza. It looks like Dementor has beaten Turbo Man.

Uh oh. Uh!

Uh uh uh. That's "action figure."

Uh, well, of course, there's some assembly required

Uh!

Very moving.

Wait till the commissioner finds out about this.

Wait, lady! I need that Turbo Man!

Wait!

Wait. Whoa. Where you going?

Waiting for your sorry ass to show up.

Wave, you idiot! Wave!

Wave?

Way to go, Jamie! [Whistles]

We could use a man like you on the force.

We don't want it! We don't want it!

We have plenty of Turbo Man's faithful pet tiger Booster in stock.

We have received a small quantity of the action figure known as Turbo Man

We played in that clubhouse the entire day.

We were laughing, having a great time, talking about that Turbo guy.

We'll do the rocking while you fill the stocking.

We're all businessmen. I'm sure we can work out some sort of an agreement.

We're high atop Channel 29's parade central...

We're not doing this for us. We're doing this for the kids.

We've been driving around now for 20 minutes. How much longer?

Well, he's not gonna miss this. He's probably just working really hard.

Well, I'm a lucky, lucky girl.

Well, if you think the fabric is too dark, then we'll just recover it.

Well, it looks like it's that time of year again—

Well, like letting me do something special...just for you.

Well, that definitely won't be you.

Well, that makes me wonder.

Well, who would know better than me?

What am I doing?

What am I gonna tell my son on Christmas morning?

What are you, the question king, huh? Chill.

What did you call us?

What did you get me?

What did you get me?

What do I need the doll for? I got the real Turbo Man at home.

What do you think, Jamie? How about this?

What I actually said was whoever won would get a doll eventually.

What it looks like is that you've broken into our neighbor's house...

What the—

What would I do without you?

What would you know about keeping your promises? You never keep your promises!

What— Who told you you could eat my cookies?

What?

What?

What's the matter, Jame?

When I thank you for filling in for Pete on such short notice.

Where have you guys been?

Where you off to so early?

Where's your Christmas spirit?

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Nothing like waiting till the last minute, Howitzer.

Whoa! Whoo, whoo.

Whoever doesn't is gonna be a real loser.

Whoo! Is there a problem, Officer?

Why don't you go upstairs, take a shower?

Why don't you just put on a dress and weep like a little girl?

Why not spread a little Christmas cheer around the neighborhood?

With that rock 'em sock 'em jet pack...

Wow

Wow! This is really cool.

Ya! [Growls]

Yeah, and who the hell do you think you are Mary Poppins?

Yeah, I got a madman in my studio, and— Help me!

Yeah! That's a really good sign.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Got to go.

Yeah. C.E.O. of Sherman Industries.

Yeah. That Turbo Man doll.

Yes, in layman's terms a bomb! So back up!

Yes!

Yes!

You already read the instruction manual we sent you...

You broke my little mirror.

You can always count on him.

You can't be going to the office.

You can't bench press your way out of this one.

You can't hide your feelings from me.

You ever see the movie Vertigo? That mean anything to you?

You got Jamie his own Turbo Man weeks ago.

You got these big fat cats sit there using working class just like me and you.

You haven't been here all day, so you can't miss it.

You haven't seen the last of me, Turbo Man!

You heard me right— con men, thieves...

You just think of everything, don't you, Ted?

You know it's all a ploy, don't you?

You know what happened?

You know what, kid? You need a time out.

You know, it's like what Turbo Man says:

You know, this is gonna make my son really happy.

You might want to wrap some chains around those tires.

You never do anything you say you're gonna do!

You never do anything you say you're gonna do!

You picked the wrong day

You promised that you were gonna be at the parade.

You say you'd do just about anything to get your hands on one?

You should know the doctor said Pete actually showed some brain activity this morning.

You shouldn't wear fur.

You think you can let me make it up to you?

You understand, right?

You wanna see the doll, don't you?

You want a Turbo Man for Christmas?

You were no different than the rest of those civilians...

You will be the winner of the hottest toy since Johnny Seven O.M.A.

You will form an orderly line so that an employee can hand you a numbered ball.

You wouldn't want to hurt a fellow civil servant, would you?

You! Who are you? Are you the guy?

You?

You're gonna go back.

You're his all time favorite person.

You're right. That kid's gonna need some serious therapy, man.

You're so considerate, bringing all this holiday cheer to the neighborhood.

You're the kind that puts the trash can in front of the mailbox...

You've been wanting for Christmas, hmm?

Young man.

Your dad is so cool. I wish my dad did stuff like this.

200 king sized by next Friday?

[All Laughing] Shut up, man.

[Banging Pole] Get him.

[Beeps] Andrea, hi.

[Bell Rings] Oops! There's the next batch. Gotta go, Howard.

[Car Alarm Chirps] [Grunting]

[Crowd Cheering] ♪♪ [Band Playing Turbo Man Theme Song]

[Crowd Cheering] Pick a kid?

[Crowd Cheering] Wow!

[Deejay] KQRS. Hello. Okay, I got the answer!

[Demon] Let's get this guy! [Demon #2] What are you doing?

[Elevator Bell Dings] [Deejay] KQRS. You're on the air.

[Engine Cranking] Piece of junk!

[Engine Sputtering] Come on!

[Gasps] Hey, where do you think you're going, kid?

[Groans] [Crowd Shouting]

[Grunting] Oh!

[Grunts] [Applause]

[Grunts] [Gasps]

[Instructor] One! One!

[Liz] Hey! Yeah, look at that. There it is.

[Loud Footsteps] Yeah!

[Man] ♪ So, you know when Christmas rolls around ♪ [Howard] Come on, buddy.

[Myron] Come on! [Woman] Go ahead! Go ahead!

[People Muttering] [Woman] Hey, what are you doing?

[Phone Beeping] [Yelps]

[Policeman] Freeze! Hey! Hey!

[Rattling] [Winces]

[Ringing Continues] Comet, Cupid, Prancer

[Screaming] Yeah!

[Screaming] He maced me! I got it! I got it!

[Sighs] ♪♪ [Carolers Singing]

[Sighs] ♪♪ [Carolers Singing]

[Squealing Continues] [Crowd Cheering]

[Together] A gift certificate? Right.

[Woman] Pervert! I'm not a pervert.

[Women Shouting] Stop! Stop hitting me! I'm innocent!

♪ And everyone telling you be of good cheer ♪ Whoa!

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪ ♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪

♪ Dashing through the snow ♪ ♪ He's dashing ♪

♪ Everyone dancing merrily ♪ [Phone Ringing]

♪ In a one horse open sleigh ♪ ♪ He's dashing ♪

♪ In the street he envies all those lucky boys ♪ That's beautiful—

♪ Laughing all the way ♪ ♪ Now he's laughin' ♪

♪ Over the fields we go ♪ ♪ He's dashing ♪

♪ This simple phrase ♪ [Groans]