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Blades of Glory (2007) "Blades of Glory" is a hilarious sports-comedy film released in 2007. Directed by Josh Gordon and Will

Blades of Glory (2007)

"Blades of Glory" is a hilarious sports-comedy film released in 2007. Directed by Josh Gordon and Will Speck, the movie revolves around two rival male figure skaters who are forced to team up to compete in pairs skating. Starring in the film are Will Ferrell as Chazz Michael Michaels, Jon Heder as Jimmy MacElroy, and Amy Poehler as their rival, Fairchild Van Waldenberg.

As the two polar opposites put their differences aside, they strive to win the prestigious gold medal and restore their tarnished reputations. With uproarious performances and outrageous stunts, "Blades of Glory" takes the audience on a journey full of astonishing twists and turns, both on and off the ice.

If you are a fan of this movie and want to relive the hilarious moments, you can play and download the sounds of "Blades of Glory" by visiting [Insert website link here]. So get ready to laugh out loud and immerse yourself in the world of competitive figure skating like never before!

Blades of Glory (2007) Blades of Glory Gets the people going Malenia Blade Of Mikela Sword Clash332323 もこう チャンバラで負ける Bobsled team SFX Library Neverhil Mortal Combat Crusader Piratas Удар Helicopter SFX Turbine SFX Electric-Razor SFX Swordsman SFX Library Contact-Microphone SFX Efteling Trompet Joris En De Draak NARUTO FAIGHTT Parry SFX Library Duel SFX Propeller SFX Library One piece all’arrembaggio Gauntlet Pice Ken Control Kilye Swish AM Tourney
A champion, an icon, a giver.
A champion, an icon, a giver.
A classic skater defined by elegance, precision
A classic skater defined by elegance, precision
A historic event here in Montreal.
A historic event here in Montreal.
A move so revolutionary, so dangerous
A move so revolutionary, so dangerous
A move the likes of which the world had never seen before.
A move the likes of which the world had never seen before.
A Mr Roboto to start the routine.
A Mr Roboto to start the routine.
A perfect head butt! Down goes MacElroy!
A perfect head butt! Down goes MacElroy!
A rare ballet of ice and history.
A rare ballet of ice and history.
A serious stumble in an otherwise perfect routine.
A serious stumble in an otherwise perfect routine.
A six pack of protein shakes and a subscription to Men's Health.
A six pack of protein shakes and a subscription to Men's Health.
Actually I just came by 'cause I had something I had to say to you.
Actually I just came by 'cause I had something I had to say to you.
Actually, it's quite the opposite.
Actually, it's quite the opposite.
After all we've done for you? After all you did to Mom and Dad?
After all we've done for you? After all you did to Mom and Dad?
Ali without Frazier. Han Solo without Chewbacca.
Ali without Frazier. Han Solo without Chewbacca.
All of these are weapons in the pairs skaters' arsenal.
All of these are weapons in the pairs skaters' arsenal.
All right, boys. Let's go do this. Loud and proud.
All right, boys. Let's go do this. Loud and proud.
All right, duly noted.
All right, duly noted.
All right, gentlemen, waltz position.
All right, gentlemen, waltz position.
All right, ladies, tea party's over.
All right, ladies, tea party's over.
All right, listen up. You guys barely squeaked by at Nationals.
All right, listen up. You guys barely squeaked by at Nationals.
All right, Mr Smart Reporter, showing off.
All right, Mr Smart Reporter, showing off.
All right, not bad, not bad. As long as that 5.8 doesn't kill us.
All right, not bad, not bad. As long as that 5.8 doesn't kill us.
All right, Stranz. Time for a little Chazzle Dazzle.
All right, Stranz. Time for a little Chazzle Dazzle.
All right, this is gonna stop right now.
All right, this is gonna stop right now.
All right? So come on, let's go.
All right? So come on, let's go.
All right.
All right.
All right. You'll be staying here for the duration.
All right. You'll be staying here for the duration.
An absolutely seamless use of props integrated into choreography,
An absolutely seamless use of props integrated into choreography,
An edgy look at urban culture told in the language of the streets.
An edgy look at urban culture told in the language of the streets.
And a Kristi Yamaguchi Lifetime Achievement Award.
And a Kristi Yamaguchi Lifetime Achievement Award.
And a monkey who was trained to work on a video camera.
And a monkey who was trained to work on a video camera.
And all they're doing is just leeching the dignity out of our beloved sport.
And all they're doing is just leeching the dignity out of our beloved sport.
And an ability to endure great pain.
And an ability to endure great pain.
And as for friends and family, Chazz Michael Michaels walks alone.
And as for friends and family, Chazz Michael Michaels walks alone.
And boy, look at them! They are really having fun with this.
And boy, look at them! They are really having fun with this.
And Chazz Michael Michaels.
And Chazz Michael Michaels.
And down goes Chazz Michael Michaels.
And down goes Chazz Michael Michaels.
And Fried Green Tomatoes.
And Fried Green Tomatoes.
And further hurt your progress
And further hurt your progress
And Gary said, "I've got a third ball."
And Gary said, "I've got a third ball."
And he just nails the triple Axel!
And he just nails the triple Axel!
And he likes dreams and whispers
And he likes dreams and whispers
And he likes dreams and whispers
And he likes dreams and whispers
And his favourite movie is Short Circuit
And his favourite movie is Short Circuit
And how is this going to work?
And how is this going to work?
And I ain't going nowhere.
And I ain't going nowhere.
And I moved to the Ukraine
And I moved to the Ukraine
And I took it to the one place on earth batshit crazy enough to give it a try.
And I took it to the one place on earth batshit crazy enough to give it a try.
And I've stuffed them down my pants.
And I've stuffed them down my pants.
And if you find him, would you tell him to get his ass down here?
And if you find him, would you tell him to get his ass down here?
And if you think I'm going anywhere, you're wrong. You know why?
And if you think I'm going anywhere, you're wrong. You know why?
And it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup.
And it was cold and everyone had guns and smelled like soup.
And it's come down to this. Tonight, they leave it all on the ice.
And it's come down to this. Tonight, they leave it all on the ice.
And just watch over him. All right?
And just watch over him. All right?
And like many revolutionary ideas,
And like many revolutionary ideas,
And move to the bench to await your scores.
And move to the bench to await your scores.
And no one can lift your fat ass. You're on a diet, starting now.
And no one can lift your fat ass. You're on a diet, starting now.
And now as a pair team?
And now as a pair team?
And now you need to bite it.
And now you need to bite it.
And she is not a whore.
And she is not a whore.
And she rocked my world.
And she rocked my world.
And slept with your partner like I told her to.
And slept with your partner like I told her to.
And so while his scores are being tabulated,
And so while his scores are being tabulated,
And Spaetzle's aflame!
And Spaetzle's aflame!
And Spandex and glitter. Egos.
And Spandex and glitter. Egos.
And spectacle of these, the 20th World Wintersport Games.
And spectacle of these, the 20th World Wintersport Games.
And that victory was as sweet as the cream pie
And that victory was as sweet as the cream pie
And that's why I was a sex addict.
And that's why I was a sex addict.
And the spirit of honest competition.
And the spirit of honest competition.
And the wisdom to know that masturbation
And the wisdom to know that masturbation
And then go...
And then go...
And then I brush my hair 100 times with this.
And then I brush my hair 100 times with this.
And then kick you to the side of the road like a dead raccoon.
And then kick you to the side of the road like a dead raccoon.
And then what happened?
And then what happened?
And there it is.
And there it is.
And there's another unique Michaels skill.
And there's another unique Michaels skill.
And they force me to work for them like a slave.
And they force me to work for them like a slave.
And they hit it beautifully!
And they hit it beautifully!
And they join Team USA's other gold medallists,
And they join Team USA's other gold medallists,
And they made an improper left hand turn.
And they made an improper left hand turn.
And they nail it! Unbelievable performance!
And they nail it! Unbelievable performance!
And they'll focus on the purity of the sport
And they'll focus on the purity of the sport
And they're up.
And they're up.
And they've won this crowd over!
And they've won this crowd over!
And this is my brother's new girlfriend.
And this is my brother's new girlfriend.
And those good vibrations seem
And those good vibrations seem
And those scores keep Stranz and Fairchild in first place,
And those scores keep Stranz and Fairchild in first place,
And to revel in the glory that is sport.
And to revel in the glory that is sport.
And used properly, they can slay your opponent.
And used properly, they can slay your opponent.
And was named one of Barbara Walters' most fascinating persons of 1994.
And was named one of Barbara Walters' most fascinating persons of 1994.
And we're feeling so free. Come on, join us.
And we're feeling so free. Come on, join us.
And what does a new gold medal mean for you?
And what does a new gold medal mean for you?
And women's skating champion...
And women's skating champion...
And yes, no need to ask, I'll consider you for a position.
And yes, no need to ask, I'll consider you for a position.
And you have to wonder what is going on.
And you have to wonder what is going on.
And you take good care of him.
And you take good care of him.
And?
And?
Another 6.0.
Another 6.0.
Another great walking through the halls of the Grublets.
Another great walking through the halls of the Grublets.
Are gonna win these judges over.
Are gonna win these judges over.
Are taking their place at the podium right now.
Are taking their place at the podium right now.
As they wind up their routine,
As they wind up their routine,
At 16, she won the gold, turned pro,
At 16, she won the gold, turned pro,
At age 12, Chazz escaped a life of running cigarettes and illegal fireworks
At age 12, Chazz escaped a life of running cigarettes and illegal fireworks
At least you did the honourable thing.
At least you did the honourable thing.
Be warned. The Iron Lotus demands your respect.
Be warned. The Iron Lotus demands your respect.
Beautiful butterfly into a prayer. Nice into...
Beautiful butterfly into a prayer. Nice into...
Became banned from competition for life.
Became banned from competition for life.
Because dreams never weigh you down.
Because dreams never weigh you down.
Because I will not back down, ever!
Because I will not back down, ever!
Because if you can't dance with a man, you damn sure can't skate with a man.
Because if you can't dance with a man, you damn sure can't skate with a man.
Because no one ever loved me.
Because no one ever loved me.
Because nobody can obsess like I can.
Because nobody can obsess like I can.
Because now I've got a brother.
Because now I've got a brother.
Because there's a lot of dreams to be had.
Because there's a lot of dreams to be had.
Before a big competition, I like to work with leather.
Before a big competition, I like to work with leather.
Before the commission passes judgment,
Before the commission passes judgment,
Besides, you're too late.
Besides, you're too late.
Between two former champions.
Between two former champions.
Boo!
Boo!
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Boom! We sure did.
Boom! We sure did.
Boom.
Boom.
Bring it on! Let it rain down on me.
Bring it on! Let it rain down on me.
Bring them by the dance studio tomorrow.
Bring them by the dance studio tomorrow.
But a beehive for germs and bacteria.
But a beehive for germs and bacteria.
But after that performance, he's starting to reek of gold.
But after that performance, he's starting to reek of gold.
But after that performance, he's starting to reek of gold.
But after that performance, he's starting to reek of gold.
But all those stories have been eclipsed now
But all those stories have been eclipsed now
But don't even look at the Verticoli.
But don't even look at the Verticoli.
But I don't care!
But I don't care!
But I remember Boston,
But I remember Boston,
But I remember Boston,
But I remember Boston,
But I was referring to the precision and beauty of robots.
But I was referring to the precision and beauty of robots.
But I've been your son for 26 years.
But I've been your son for 26 years.
But if something should happen to your new boyfriend's leg,
But if something should happen to your new boyfriend's leg,
But it amounts to the same thing, so...
But it amounts to the same thing, so...
But it's not the ice. It's what the ice lets you do.
But it's not the ice. It's what the ice lets you do.
But Michaels and MacElroy are up next.
But Michaels and MacElroy are up next.
But my brother and sister don't like anyone to steal their focus.
But my brother and sister don't like anyone to steal their focus.
But perfection can drive a woman mad.
But perfection can drive a woman mad.
But there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't.
But there's nothing in the rule book that says you can't.
But this ought to do it.
But this ought to do it.
But what? How's the partner search coming, kid?
But what? How's the partner search coming, kid?
But, Chazz, you realise this would just set you back
But, Chazz, you realise this would just set you back
By becoming a star in Detroit's underground sewer skating scene.
By becoming a star in Detroit's underground sewer skating scene.
By what many dub the Sideshow of the Century.
By what many dub the Sideshow of the Century.
Calling for preparation on ice of the United States team
Calling for preparation on ice of the United States team
Can you give me a time out here with Chazz?
Can you give me a time out here with Chazz?
Centre ice in the hearts of millions of skating fans everywhere.
Centre ice in the hearts of millions of skating fans everywhere.
Chazz Michael Michaels has come in here and captivated this arena
Chazz Michael Michaels has come in here and captivated this arena
Chazz Michael Michaels walks in with the unrated version.
Chazz Michael Michaels walks in with the unrated version.
Chazz Michael Michaels, an ice devouring sex tornado.
Chazz Michael Michaels, an ice devouring sex tornado.
Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy are figure skating. Boom!
Chazz Michaels and Jimmy MacElroy are figure skating. Boom!
Chazz taught me some stuff.
Chazz taught me some stuff.
Chazz, I have asked you to leave before and I don't wanna do it again.
Chazz, I have asked you to leave before and I don't wanna do it again.
Chazz, release to Jimmy. Easy, see? Release...
Chazz, release to Jimmy. Easy, see? Release...
Chazz, they got to get you to a hospital. Come on.
Chazz, they got to get you to a hospital. Come on.
Chazz, would you like to start the day off by sharing?
Chazz, would you like to start the day off by sharing?
Chazz!
Chazz!
Chazz. Chazz.
Chazz. Chazz.
Checking out my ink?
Checking out my ink?
Children of beloved Swiss skiing gold medallists,
Children of beloved Swiss skiing gold medallists,
City by the bay! John Denver!
City by the bay! John Denver!
Coach! Coach! Did I make it in time? Where's Chazz?
Coach! Coach! Did I make it in time? Where's Chazz?
Combining to be the first male male pair team in the history of the sport.
Combining to be the first male male pair team in the history of the sport.
Come on, Chazz, focus! Focus!
Come on, Chazz, focus! Focus!
Come on, Denver, get off your asses!
Come on, Denver, get off your asses!
Come on, Katie. Do the honourable thing here.
Come on, Katie. Do the honourable thing here.
Come on, me and the Woodland Fairies,
Come on, me and the Woodland Fairies,
Come on, people, break it up!
Come on, people, break it up!
Come on, pick up. Come on, buddy.
Come on, pick up. Come on, buddy.
Come on, what are you talking about?
Come on, what are you talking about?
Come on!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Put in the tape, Jesse.
Come on. Put in the tape, Jesse.
Come on. Take my hand.
Come on. Take my hand.
Completely different skaters, known to be enemies of one another,
Completely different skaters, known to be enemies of one another,
Cool brush.
Cool brush.
Cool. Way to go, guys. Gold medal.
Cool. Way to go, guys. Gold medal.
Daddy! He's crushing me.
Daddy! He's crushing me.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it. I just threw up in here, people.
Damn it. I just threw up in here, people.
Darren had turned his attention
Darren had turned his attention
Decided on our own to do a little flourish off the triple, did we?
Decided on our own to do a little flourish off the triple, did we?
Denver, Colorado, last stop on the road
Denver, Colorado, last stop on the road
Did you see that? They were actually pretty good.
Did you see that? They were actually pretty good.
Do it for Katie. Burn up the ice with your red hot love.
Do it for Katie. Burn up the ice with your red hot love.
Do you have a bathrobe or a parka you could...
Do you have a bathrobe or a parka you could...
Do you know what you can do for a burn?
Do you know what you can do for a burn?
Do you look at yourself?
Do you look at yourself?
Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here.
Do you mind? I'm trying to eat here.
Do you wanna make history?
Do you wanna make history?
Doing it right takes a little bit longer, but it's worth it.
Doing it right takes a little bit longer, but it's worth it.
Don't be so sure.
Don't be so sure.
Don't even think about putting us in the same league.
Don't even think about putting us in the same league.
Don't give me that guilt trip.
Don't give me that guilt trip.
Don't make me kill her.
Don't make me kill her.
Dreams? Shit. I haven't had one of those in years.
Dreams? Shit. I haven't had one of those in years.
Each tattoo tells a different tale. They're like chapters of my life.
Each tattoo tells a different tale. They're like chapters of my life.
Eat that, MacElroy.
Eat that, MacElroy.
Elegant with machine like technical precision.
Elegant with machine like technical precision.
Ending the programme showing his flexibility.
Ending the programme showing his flexibility.
Especially not the precious and pampered Richie Rich.
Especially not the precious and pampered Richie Rich.
Even if we wanted to, they'd never allow it.
Even if we wanted to, they'd never allow it.
Except for winning the gold again and keeping it this time.
Except for winning the gold again and keeping it this time.
Fans remember Michaels and MacElroy as gold medallists who,
Fans remember Michaels and MacElroy as gold medallists who,
Fans, friends, esteemed members of the committee,
Fans, friends, esteemed members of the committee,
Fat ass?
Fat ass?
Feeling? We're feeling now? What are you teaching this boy?
Feeling? We're feeling now? What are you teaching this boy?
Figure skating. Give it up, Jimmy. It's like a cruel bitch mother.
Figure skating. Give it up, Jimmy. It's like a cruel bitch mother.
Find someone else.
Find someone else.
Fine. "Make love." Whatever.
Fine. "Make love." Whatever.
Fireworks display in Montreal.
Fireworks display in Montreal.
First throw.
First throw.
First, the foundation.
First, the foundation.
Fitting, considering these two men may very well be the future of the sport.
Fitting, considering these two men may very well be the future of the sport.
Flawless. Just textbook perfection.
Flawless. Just textbook perfection.
For about a month, my urine smelled like marshmallows.
For about a month, my urine smelled like marshmallows.
For the greatest suffering the world has ever known?
For the greatest suffering the world has ever known?
For three years I've been trying to get over the nightmare you two created.
For three years I've been trying to get over the nightmare you two created.
For years for their chance to make it onto the world stage.
For years for their chance to make it onto the world stage.
For your information, I didn't have sex with Chazz.
For your information, I didn't have sex with Chazz.
Forget it. I gotta go.
Forget it. I gotta go.
Foy, can I have another blue one?
Foy, can I have another blue one?
From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand?
From here on out, you guys are a team. Do you understand?
From the United States,
From the United States,
From the United States, Jimmy MacElroy
From the United States, Jimmy MacElroy
From which they could never recover?
From which they could never recover?
Get your head on.
Get your head on.
Give me your hand.
Give me your hand.
Go ahead, drink it in. Don't be shy.
Go ahead, drink it in. Don't be shy.
Go on! Fit them together!
Go on! Fit them together!
God bless you, Jimmy. God bless your heart.
God bless you, Jimmy. God bless your heart.
God bless you.
God bless you.
God bless you. God bless everyone. Thank you.
God bless you. God bless everyone. Thank you.
God, I have to do everything in this family.
God, I have to do everything in this family.
Good choice, my man.
Good choice, my man.
Good luck, Jimmy.
Good luck, Jimmy.
Good. We're in agreement then.
Good. We're in agreement then.
Gosh, I'm getting sick.
Gosh, I'm getting sick.
Great! Press loves them, and now so do the sponsors.
Great! Press loves them, and now so do the sponsors.
Gross. Get me out of here! Somebody help me!
Gross. Get me out of here! Somebody help me!
Guys, maybe, maybe if you concentrate on the skating
Guys, maybe, maybe if you concentrate on the skating
Guys!
Guys!
Handmade in Italy. They carve it out of illegal whalebone.
Handmade in Italy. They carve it out of illegal whalebone.
Hands.
Hands.
Have you seen Jimmy? I can't find him anywhere.
Have you seen Jimmy? I can't find him anywhere.
Having sex. A lot.
Having sex. A lot.
He couldn't skate any better than that.
He couldn't skate any better than that.
He is a child of privilege.
He is a child of privilege.
He just uses everything at his disposal. The movement, the music.
He just uses everything at his disposal. The movement, the music.
He just, he loves food.
He just, he loves food.
He recently published a book of poetry, Let Me Put My Poems in You.
He recently published a book of poetry, Let Me Put My Poems in You.
He wants to make love to the crowd.
He wants to make love to the crowd.
He was plucked from an orphanage at age four
He was plucked from an orphanage at age four
He's been staring at a pack of gum for nine hours. What'd you do to him?
He's been staring at a pack of gum for nine hours. What'd you do to him?
He's got a heart of gold.
He's got a heart of gold.
Hector?
Hector?
Hell, I know more than you know you know.
Hell, I know more than you know you know.
Hello, and welcome to day three of the Orbitz World Wintersport Games.
Hello, and welcome to day three of the Orbitz World Wintersport Games.
Hello, and welcome, everyone, to the Orbitz World Wintersport Games
Hello, and welcome, everyone, to the Orbitz World Wintersport Games
Hello, ladies. Typical of Michaels, it's not enough just to win.
Hello, ladies. Typical of Michaels, it's not enough just to win.
Hello?
Hello?
Help yourself to the Mane n' Tail all you want,
Help yourself to the Mane n' Tail all you want,
Here I am, guys. We did it. High fives.
Here I am, guys. We did it. High fives.
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Here we go. Show time.
Here we go. Show time.
Hey, Chazz. Come on.
Hey, Chazz. Come on.
Hey, everybody, get your tickets for the second show.
Hey, everybody, get your tickets for the second show.
Hey, everyone! This is Gary, the squirrel.
Hey, everyone! This is Gary, the squirrel.
Hey, guys, you're amazing.
Hey, guys, you're amazing.
Hey, it's Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
Hey, it's Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
Hey, it's me again. Jimmy, please, call me back, so I can explain.
Hey, it's me again. Jimmy, please, call me back, so I can explain.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Jimmy.
Hey, Katie.
Hey, Katie.
Hey, MacElroy. Was that your routine?
Hey, MacElroy. Was that your routine?
Hey, Michaels, let's go. Lace up. The fog machines are primed.
Hey, Michaels, let's go. Lace up. The fog machines are primed.
Hey, Sammy, it's not what it looks like.
Hey, Sammy, it's not what it looks like.
Hey, there!
Hey, there!
Hey, traffic cop. Get this straight. I don't have a coach. I don't need one.
Hey, traffic cop. Get this straight. I don't have a coach. I don't need one.
Hey, turd face, guess what?
Hey, turd face, guess what?
Hey, what are you doing? She said it's too tight.
Hey, what are you doing? She said it's too tight.
Hey, where you going?
Hey, where you going?
Hey, you listen to me, old man!
Hey, you listen to me, old man!
Hey. Nancy Kerrigan.
Hey. Nancy Kerrigan.
Hi, Katie.
Hi, Katie.
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. I was
Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. I was
Hi. It's Jimmy MacElroy. Is Katie there?
Hi. It's Jimmy MacElroy. Is Katie there?
His ultimate find came in the form of skating wunderkind, Jimmy.
His ultimate find came in the form of skating wunderkind, Jimmy.
History in the making.
History in the making.
Hope you brought your silver polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold.
Hope you brought your silver polish, MacElroy, 'cause that was gold.
How are we gonna compete against teams
How are we gonna compete against teams
How do you describe something like that?
How do you describe something like that?
How heavy is that gold around your necks?
How heavy is that gold around your necks?
How is this possible?
How is this possible?
How many times do you have to make the same mistake?
How many times do you have to make the same mistake?
How minimal?
How minimal?
I ain't making no promises.
I ain't making no promises.
I am nothing but a human onion. In fact, we all are. Oh, encore.
I am nothing but a human onion. In fact, we all are. Oh, encore.
I am stunned silent, absolutely silent, Jim.
I am stunned silent, absolutely silent, Jim.
I call top.
I call top.
I can skate in the Wintersport Games again.
I can skate in the Wintersport Games again.
I can't do the Lotus with a shattered ankle.
I can't do the Lotus with a shattered ankle.
I can't hear you, Papa. What are you... You're crying?
I can't hear you, Papa. What are you... You're crying?
I could hold it all day long. Try me.
I could hold it all day long. Try me.
I could not love a human baby as much as I love this brush.
I could not love a human baby as much as I love this brush.
I couldn't let her do it, not the way I roll.
I couldn't let her do it, not the way I roll.
I didn't sleep with Chazz.
I didn't sleep with Chazz.
I don't care if they win. I don't care about skating at all.
I don't care if they win. I don't care about skating at all.
I don't even know what that means.
I don't even know what that means.
I don't even know who you are any more.
I don't even know who you are any more.
I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I don't know how to turn it on. Thank you.
I don't know how to turn it on. Thank you.
I don't know what I can say,
I don't know what I can say,
I don't know, Coach.
I don't know, Coach.
I don't know, Scott. I'm not sure, interpretive dance moves
I don't know, Scott. I'm not sure, interpretive dance moves
I don't know, under his knee, or above his ankle?
I don't know, under his knee, or above his ankle?
I don't share shit. The night is a very dark time for me.
I don't share shit. The night is a very dark time for me.
I don't think that's stupid. I'm glad that I said that.
I don't think that's stupid. I'm glad that I said that.
I don't think un adopting is the right word.
I don't think un adopting is the right word.
I gotta... Yeah, shower. I need one of those
I gotta... Yeah, shower. I need one of those
I guess I had a pretty normal childhood.
I guess I had a pretty normal childhood.
I had a chance to sit down with Michaels
I had a chance to sit down with Michaels
I had my face painted at the Blueberry Festival one year.
I had my face painted at the Blueberry Festival one year.
I had so many lawyers work on so many appeals.
I had so many lawyers work on so many appeals.
I hate my life.
I hate my life.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I have a crush on the enemy, Katie Van Waldenberg.
I have a crush on the enemy, Katie Van Waldenberg.
I have never seen done.
I have never seen done.
I have no idea, but I'd like to find out.
I have no idea, but I'd like to find out.
I haven't had a snow cone in a couple of years, actually.
I haven't had a snow cone in a couple of years, actually.
I just put those into order.
I just put those into order.
I just wanna say keep dreaming
I just wanna say keep dreaming
I just wanna say you guys are partners now.
I just wanna say you guys are partners now.
I knew it. I knew after three years, you just weren't checking in.
I knew it. I knew after three years, you just weren't checking in.
I know her.
I know her.
I know more than you think I know.
I know more than you think I know.
I know that sex, I know that sex addiction is a disease.
I know that sex, I know that sex addiction is a disease.
I know, I know.
I know, I know.
I know.
I know.
I like your buttons.
I like your buttons.
I love you, Chazz!
I love you, Chazz!
I mean, come on, I moved on, Jimmy. You gotta move on, too.
I mean, come on, I moved on, Jimmy. You gotta move on, too.
I mean, I need your help. What do you say?
I mean, I need your help. What do you say?
I mean, I'm really desperate to win that gold, but...
I mean, I'm really desperate to win that gold, but...
I mean, people don't realise what we go through on a day to day basis.
I mean, people don't realise what we go through on a day to day basis.
I mean, really, what's so great about skating, anyway?
I mean, really, what's so great about skating, anyway?
I mean, sign up is in two days.
I mean, sign up is in two days.
I mean, we have the best fans in the world.
I mean, we have the best fans in the world.
I mean, who are you gonna trust, a little girl or Jimmy MacElroy?
I mean, who are you gonna trust, a little girl or Jimmy MacElroy?
I need some counter space, too.
I need some counter space, too.
I never had a father, okay?
I never had a father, okay?
I never really thought of that as a romantic story before.
I never really thought of that as a romantic story before.
I never thought I'd see it with my own eyes, the fabled Iron Lotus!
I never thought I'd see it with my own eyes, the fabled Iron Lotus!
I really appreciate this.
I really appreciate this.
I remember when we were hanging out at the bus stop in Tucson,
I remember when we were hanging out at the bus stop in Tucson,
I see you got fat.
I see you got fat.
I see you still look like a 15 year old girl but not hot.
I see you still look like a 15 year old girl but not hot.
I started working with that Ukrainian skater,
I started working with that Ukrainian skater,
I sympathise with you, Hector. I really do, but there's nothing I can do.
I sympathise with you, Hector. I really do, but there's nothing I can do.
I take pride in the words, "Ich bin ein Berliner!"
I take pride in the words, "Ich bin ein Berliner!"
I think I see the Virgin Mary.
I think I see the Virgin Mary.
I totally wanna cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday. It's coming up.
I totally wanna cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday. It's coming up.
I wanna wear the gold medal, naked.
I wanna wear the gold medal, naked.
I wanted it badly, so I developed a move.
I wanted it badly, so I developed a move.
I was just trying to find some peace.
I was just trying to find some peace.
I was on Quaaludes. I don't even remember Oslo.
I was on Quaaludes. I don't even remember Oslo.
I was on track to head up the Olympic squad.
I was on track to head up the Olympic squad.
I was wondering if you wanted to get a snow cone sometime?
I was wondering if you wanted to get a snow cone sometime?
I wasn't sure I'd ever forget it.
I wasn't sure I'd ever forget it.
I will. Boom. You have my word. High five.
I will. Boom. You have my word. High five.
I would fire you
I would fire you
I wouldn't have to save your ass with my landing.
I wouldn't have to save your ass with my landing.
I'll get yours, Jimmy.
I'll get yours, Jimmy.
I'll pick you up in the morning.
I'll pick you up in the morning.
I'll take him.
I'll take him.
I'll tell you what is. Oksana.
I'll tell you what is. Oksana.
I'm a sex addict and I'm attracted to women.
I'm a sex addict and I'm attracted to women.
I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear.
I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear.
I'm actually looking for a female skater to compete with me at Nationals.
I'm actually looking for a female skater to compete with me at Nationals.
I'm banned for life.
I'm banned for life.
I'm committed to this thing called friendship.
I'm committed to this thing called friendship.
I'm gonna have to cut your pants off.
I'm gonna have to cut your pants off.
I'm gonna pop you in the back of the head.
I'm gonna pop you in the back of the head.
I'm gonna put some weight on it to see.
I'm gonna put some weight on it to see.
I'm here to sign up the pairs team of Michaels and MacElroy.
I'm here to sign up the pairs team of Michaels and MacElroy.
I'm here to sign up the pairs team of Michaels and MacElroy.
I'm here to sign up the pairs team of Michaels and MacElroy.
I'm in a lot of pain. I feel like I'm gonna barf.
I'm in a lot of pain. I feel like I'm gonna barf.
I'm just a man, for God's sake.
I'm just a man, for God's sake.
I'm just saying that I'm'a do what I can do.
I'm just saying that I'm'a do what I can do.
I'm Katie.
I'm Katie.
I'm late, sis. My hair is just not cooperating.
I'm late, sis. My hair is just not cooperating.
I'm not gonna say wow, but wow!
I'm not gonna say wow, but wow!
I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life in a cage of fear.
I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life in a cage of fear.
I'm not here to sign up Michaels or MacElroy.
I'm not here to sign up Michaels or MacElroy.
I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's Annual Christmas Party.
I'm not inviting you to the Skating Federation's Annual Christmas Party.
I'm not looking for a job.
I'm not looking for a job.
I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps.
I'm not skating to anything with references to lady humps.
I'm not the girl. I'm stronger.
I'm not the girl. I'm stronger.
I'm okay!
I'm okay!
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.
I'm so sorry, sir.
I'm so sorry, sir.
I've got something I wanna show you. I had it done last weekend.
I've got something I wanna show you. I had it done last weekend.
I've taken every single one of your teddy bears,
I've taken every single one of your teddy bears,
I've won a lot of radio contests, because I refused to get off the line!
I've won a lot of radio contests, because I refused to get off the line!
Ice blows.
Ice blows.
If either one of you would like to make a statement
If either one of you would like to make a statement
If I wanted him to share, I'd have bought him a brother.
If I wanted him to share, I'd have bought him a brother.
If she was half the woman I was, she would have done her job
If she was half the woman I was, she would have done her job
If they wanna take home the gold, they gotta do something spectacular.
If they wanna take home the gold, they gotta do something spectacular.
If they'd published the rest of the quote...
If they'd published the rest of the quote...
If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin.
If we went to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin, I'd go as Robin.
If you weren't so goddamn beautiful out there.
If you weren't so goddamn beautiful out there.
If you're here to thank me for firing Chazz Michaels, it was my pleasure.
If you're here to thank me for firing Chazz Michaels, it was my pleasure.
Impure! Impure!
Impure! Impure!
In a bizarre turn of events,
In a bizarre turn of events,
In accordance with the rules of the International Skating Federation,
In accordance with the rules of the International Skating Federation,
In maintaining control over your libido, correct?
In maintaining control over your libido, correct?
Incredible!
Incredible!
Incredible.
Incredible.
Indeed. I think it's worth noting,
Indeed. I think it's worth noting,
Into our head? Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark,
Into our head? Not only did we embarrass Marky Mark,
Is Little Lord MacElroy gonna come and meet you down here?
Is Little Lord MacElroy gonna come and meet you down here?
Is sharing it with your fellow countryman.
Is sharing it with your fellow countryman.
Is that why you're going out with me right now?
Is that why you're going out with me right now?
Is this about my muscular, thick thighs?
Is this about my muscular, thick thighs?
It belongs out there.
It belongs out there.
It can't be that hard. I mean...
It can't be that hard. I mean...
It doesn't mean as much as winning America's hearts.
It doesn't mean as much as winning America's hearts.
It doesn't really matter, it's waltz position.
It doesn't really matter, it's waltz position.
It gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.
It gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.
It is the fabled Iron Lotus.
It is the fabled Iron Lotus.
It just scared the shit out of the establishment.
It just scared the shit out of the establishment.
It makes my hair shine like Orion's belt out on the ice.
It makes my hair shine like Orion's belt out on the ice.
It was a man and a woman, that's why it didn't work.
It was a man and a woman, that's why it didn't work.
It will "get me time to get my jugs waxed."
It will "get me time to get my jugs waxed."
It's a Posturepedic.
It's a Posturepedic.
It's basically just gliding, trying not to fall,
It's basically just gliding, trying not to fall,
It's called improvisation. Even your precious Kenny G does it.
It's called improvisation. Even your precious Kenny G does it.
It's dark for everyone, moron.
It's dark for everyone, moron.
It's daytime, you douche.
It's daytime, you douche.
It's embarrassing stalking a has been, you know what I mean?
It's embarrassing stalking a has been, you know what I mean?
It's good to see you.
It's good to see you.
It's Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
It's Jimmy. If you can dream it, you can do it.
It's like a Band Aid. Just rip it off. We'll both feel better.
It's like a Band Aid. Just rip it off. We'll both feel better.
It's like these two men did beam in from outer space,
It's like these two men did beam in from outer space,
It's MacElroy, for her.
It's MacElroy, for her.
It's me, Chazz.
It's me, Chazz.
It's raining men in the men's singles. Men wearing gold, that is.
It's raining men in the men's singles. Men wearing gold, that is.
It's the first time they've shown them any level of support.
It's the first time they've shown them any level of support.
It's time for a fresh start.
It's time for a fresh start.
James MacElroy and Charles Michael Michaels,
James MacElroy and Charles Michael Michaels,
Jealousy.
Jealousy.
Jesse, put in the tape.
Jesse, put in the tape.
JFK.
JFK.
Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels,
Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels,
Jimmy MacElroy stands alone at centre ice.
Jimmy MacElroy stands alone at centre ice.
Jimmy MacElroy, skating's Little Orphan Awesome.
Jimmy MacElroy, skating's Little Orphan Awesome.
Jimmy MacElroy?
Jimmy MacElroy?
Jimmy MacElroy. The crowd swooning as he comes out of that spin flawlessly.
Jimmy MacElroy. The crowd swooning as he comes out of that spin flawlessly.
Jimmy, can you wave to the fans?
Jimmy, can you wave to the fans?
Jimmy, come on. The scores are up.
Jimmy, come on. The scores are up.
Jimmy, get off your hands.
Jimmy, get off your hands.
Jimmy, it'll all work out.
Jimmy, it'll all work out.
Jimmy, it's me, Chazz.
Jimmy, it's me, Chazz.
Jimmy, you did it! The gold medal, baby! You did it!
Jimmy, you did it! The gold medal, baby! You did it!
Jimmy, you put your clothes on. Jimmy!
Jimmy, you put your clothes on. Jimmy!
Jimmy, you've gotta be willing to improvise.
Jimmy, you've gotta be willing to improvise.
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Jimmy!
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Jimmy.
Jimmy's here at the arena, you ass.
Jimmy's here at the arena, you ass.
Jimmy's my friend. I'm not gonna do this.
Jimmy's my friend. I'm not gonna do this.
Jimmy's renowned for his personal hygiene, Scott.
Jimmy's renowned for his personal hygiene, Scott.
Just enable...
Just enable...
Just like, I don't need that.
Just like, I don't need that.
Just stuff, you know.
Just stuff, you know.
Just think of it as like a boob handshake between me and your lady's...
Just think of it as like a boob handshake between me and your lady's...
Just thought you'd like to see what a skater's body really looks like.
Just thought you'd like to see what a skater's body really looks like.
Just two pairs remain. Both American. Both hell bent on reaching the top.
Just two pairs remain. Both American. Both hell bent on reaching the top.
Just when you think you've seen it all,
Just when you think you've seen it all,
Katie is not a whore!
Katie is not a whore!
Katie, please, will you just take this camcorder, okay?
Katie, please, will you just take this camcorder, okay?
Keep it up!
Keep it up!
Keep your speed up.
Keep your speed up.
Ladies and gentlemen, Grublets on Ice will be cancelled until further notice.
Ladies and gentlemen, Grublets on Ice will be cancelled until further notice.
Last issue.
Last issue.
Legally, I'm disowning you.
Legally, I'm disowning you.
Let them get it out. Let them get it out.
Let them get it out. Let them get it out.
Let's capture the dream.
Let's capture the dream.
Let's do it, Chazz!
Let's do it, Chazz!
Let's do this.
Let's do this.
Let's get outta here.
Let's get outta here.
Let's get started, shall we?
Let's get started, shall we?
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's just move on. Who'd like to talk about Chlamydia?
Let's just move on. Who'd like to talk about Chlamydia?
Let's learn a little bit more about skating's Leather clad Lothario.
Let's learn a little bit more about skating's Leather clad Lothario.
Like a stack of classic Euro porn.
Like a stack of classic Euro porn.
Little help.
Little help.
Local figure skating fans got more than they bargained for today
Local figure skating fans got more than they bargained for today
Look at the grace, the beauty.
Look at the grace, the beauty.
Look what you did to my ex wife!
Look what you did to my ex wife!
Look, Coach, I know I said I wanted to skate pairs, but two men?
Look, Coach, I know I said I wanted to skate pairs, but two men?
Look, I almost gave up on you.
Look, I almost gave up on you.
Look, I didn't mean to drag your balls into the discussion.
Look, I didn't mean to drag your balls into the discussion.
Look, I knew I had it. I just felt like it needed a little...
Look, I knew I had it. I just felt like it needed a little...
Look, I'm just a choreographer. What do I know?
Look, I'm just a choreographer. What do I know?
Look, it's up to us, okay?
Look, it's up to us, okay?
Look, MacElroy's also down now.
Look, MacElroy's also down now.
Look, that's not coming out right. I'll explain it. Call me back, please.
Look, that's not coming out right. I'll explain it. Call me back, please.
Look, what happened back there, so not a big deal.
Look, what happened back there, so not a big deal.
Looking's for free. Touching's gonna cost you something.
Looking's for free. Touching's gonna cost you something.
MacElroy still waving to the crowd.
MacElroy still waving to the crowd.
MacElroy.
MacElroy.
MacElroy's heart is like a beautiful apple that's in your hand
MacElroy's heart is like a beautiful apple that's in your hand
Makes my blood boil.
Makes my blood boil.
Man down.
Man down.
Maxim.
Maxim.
Maybe if you released me at that quarter turn,
Maybe if you released me at that quarter turn,
Michaels and MacElroy are a freight train from hell, okay?
Michaels and MacElroy are a freight train from hell, okay?
Michaels and MacElroy have brought the legend to life.
Michaels and MacElroy have brought the legend to life.
Michaels and MacElroy turn up the thermostat.
Michaels and MacElroy turn up the thermostat.
Michaels just slipped MacElroy a very public note.
Michaels just slipped MacElroy a very public note.
Michaels.
Michaels.
Mom and Dad were not wearing their seatbelts
Mom and Dad were not wearing their seatbelts
More than that, I pray the children can forgive me.
More than that, I pray the children can forgive me.
Move!
Move!
Mr Michael Michaels,
Mr Michael Michaels,
My blonde Ukrainian she devil.
My blonde Ukrainian she devil.
My brother and sister blame me for their death
My brother and sister blame me for their death
My God. This is happening all over again.
My God. This is happening all over again.
My nut sack!
My nut sack!
My sister told all my friends I was in jail for armed robbery.
My sister told all my friends I was in jail for armed robbery.
Nice choice, Coach.
Nice choice, Coach.
Nice lift.
Nice lift.
Nice.
Nice.
No exaggeration,
No exaggeration,
No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
No one knows what it means, but it's provocative.
No other pair in the world could do this!
No other pair in the world could do this!
No reason. I was just wondering how it went. Did it go well?
No reason. I was just wondering how it went. Did it go well?
No refunds will be given.
No refunds will be given.
No way. This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
No way. This guy could not hold my jock sweat.
No, I'm stronger and don't have a vagina.
No, I'm stronger and don't have a vagina.
No, you brought me half a gold medal.
No, you brought me half a gold medal.
No, you don't. You could never keep up with my flawless technique.
No, you don't. You could never keep up with my flawless technique.
No, you got it all wrong.
No, you got it all wrong.
No!
No!
No. Dreams are in your sleep.
No. Dreams are in your sleep.
No. I'm fine.
No. I'm fine.
No. I'm not gonna make Chazz Michael Michaels
No. I'm not gonna make Chazz Michael Michaels
No. No, no. You act right or you leave my studio.
No. No, no. You act right or you leave my studio.
No. When I met you, you were a great figure skater.
No. When I met you, you were a great figure skater.
None of what they did was on your video.
None of what they did was on your video.
None of you sons of bitches try to be heroes. You hear me?
None of you sons of bitches try to be heroes. You hear me?
North Korea.
North Korea.
Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles.
Not for Alaskans or dudes with night vision goggles.
Not just a brush but a Verticoli.
Not just a brush but a Verticoli.
Not Oksana Baiul?
Not Oksana Baiul?
Not on your life.
Not on your life.
Nothing in here about two men skating.
Nothing in here about two men skating.
Now apparently you're dedicating this performance
Now apparently you're dedicating this performance
Now he's up there laughing at them.
Now he's up there laughing at them.
Now he's up there laughing at them.
Now he's up there laughing at them.
Now let me ask you boys a question.
Now let me ask you boys a question.
Now let's join Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg
Now let's join Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg
Now listen up. Gary's been a long time friend.
Now listen up. Gary's been a long time friend.
Now maybe underneath all your bullshit, we can still find something beautiful.
Now maybe underneath all your bullshit, we can still find something beautiful.
Now taking the ice.
Now taking the ice.
Now there's some jostling atop the podium
Now there's some jostling atop the podium
Now there's the arm.
Now there's the arm.
Now there's your front page headline.
Now there's your front page headline.
Now you're playing for team Van Waldenberg.
Now you're playing for team Van Waldenberg.
Of course.
Of course.
Of Michaels and MacElroy.
Of Michaels and MacElroy.
Oh, and I'm a sex addict.
Oh, and I'm a sex addict.
Oh, crap.
Oh, crap.
Oh, God, they feel so good.
Oh, God, they feel so good.
Oh, God, this is so wrong.
Oh, God, this is so wrong.
Oh, great.
Oh, great.
Oh, my God, I can't get a real job. It'll kill me.
Oh, my God, I can't get a real job. It'll kill me.
Oh, my God, you've bagged a wild lynx.
Oh, my God, you've bagged a wild lynx.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. Can you...
Oh, my gosh. Can you...
Oh, no! It's the evil wizard!
Oh, no! It's the evil wizard!
Oh, really? I like your glitter tooth necklace thing.
Oh, really? I like your glitter tooth necklace thing.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
Oh, that sucks.
Oh, that sucks.
Oh, that thing?
Oh, that thing?
Oh, yeah, of course. Why not?
Oh, yeah, of course. Why not?
Oh, yeah? Well...
Oh, yeah? Well...
Oh, yeah. He was here a minute ago.
Oh, yeah. He was here a minute ago.
Okay, all right, I'm sorry. I'll cut to the chase.
Okay, all right, I'm sorry. I'll cut to the chase.
Okay, but start up near the crotch. That's a better access point.
Okay, but start up near the crotch. That's a better access point.
Okay, here it goes.
Okay, here it goes.
Okay, I get it! Just stop talking!
Okay, I get it! Just stop talking!
Okay, say, "Sounds to me like your cream needs to be whipped",
Okay, say, "Sounds to me like your cream needs to be whipped",
Okay, try it again.
Okay, try it again.
Okay, you know what? I can do something cool, too.
Okay, you know what? I can do something cool, too.
Okay! Okay!
Okay! Okay!
Okay? That means no coach and no partner.
Okay? That means no coach and no partner.
Okay. "Yo. It's the Mac attack. What up?"
Okay. "Yo. It's the Mac attack. What up?"
Okay. Break it down. Show me what you got.
Okay. Break it down. Show me what you got.
Okay. I'll go over here. Sandwich.
Okay. I'll go over here. Sandwich.
Okay. Stranz, let her go. It's okay. She's made up her mind.
Okay. Stranz, let her go. It's okay. She's made up her mind.
Okay. That's a start. That is a start.
Okay. That's a start. That is a start.
Okay. What do you guys have that none of the other teams have?
Okay. What do you guys have that none of the other teams have?
Okay. What do you say, let's give it a try?
Okay. What do you say, let's give it a try?
Olympics... for the birds
Olympics... for the birds
Once a breeder of some of the most successful racehorses in the world,
Once a breeder of some of the most successful racehorses in the world,
Once at the top of the skating world,
Once at the top of the skating world,
One more. I'm really close.
One more. I'm really close.
One song only. Lady Hump by the Black Eyed Peas.
One song only. Lady Hump by the Black Eyed Peas.
Or a performance of Cirque du So lame?
Or a performance of Cirque du So lame?
Or they create great music together
Or they create great music together
Or we're gonna be disqualified!
Or we're gonna be disqualified!
Otto and Ella Van Waldenberg,
Otto and Ella Van Waldenberg,
Out on my dance floor you won't know
Out on my dance floor you won't know
Out on the ice in an ice rink.
Out on the ice in an ice rink.
Out there, I feel like I can do anything.
Out there, I feel like I can do anything.
Pairs.
Pairs.
Papa?
Papa?
People will forget all the hype
People will forget all the hype
Perfection's what they need if they want to beat Stranz and Fairchild.
Perfection's what they need if they want to beat Stranz and Fairchild.
Perfectly balanced, low drag, minimal torque.
Perfectly balanced, low drag, minimal torque.
Personal philosophy: Clothing optional.
Personal philosophy: Clothing optional.
Picked up today where they left off more than three years...
Picked up today where they left off more than three years...
Please don't encourage them. Come on.
Please don't encourage them. Come on.
Please gather your coach, family, and friends
Please gather your coach, family, and friends
Popping and locking their way to the championship in Montreal.
Popping and locking their way to the championship in Montreal.
Pour sweet cream on it.
Pour sweet cream on it.
Practice starts now. End of discussion.
Practice starts now. End of discussion.
Probably not.
Probably not.
Really? I thought my landing was all bad...
Really? I thought my landing was all bad...
Really? So, what's that one about?
Really? So, what's that one about?
Really.
Really.
Remember how they used to be alive?
Remember how they used to be alive?
Rewind it. I wanna see his head bang down again.
Rewind it. I wanna see his head bang down again.
Right. Right. I mean, you said it all. It's such a burden.
Right. Right. I mean, you said it all. It's such a burden.
Sam. Sammy, come on, baby.
Sam. Sammy, come on, baby.
Sasha Cohen catches Michaels' jock strap.
Sasha Cohen catches Michaels' jock strap.
Say you want a snow boner. Snow boner.
Say you want a snow boner. Snow boner.
Saying what you need to say from the bed?
Saying what you need to say from the bed?
Scene of the crime.
Scene of the crime.
Scott, I seem to have wet my pants.
Scott, I seem to have wet my pants.
Scott, this may be solid gold but to us it's lighter than air
Scott, this may be solid gold but to us it's lighter than air
Second show tickets now available.
Second show tickets now available.
Second show's almost three quarters full.
Second show's almost three quarters full.
Section 14, paragraph G,
Section 14, paragraph G,
See that? It's pure pec, bicep, and tricep.
See that? It's pure pec, bicep, and tricep.
See ya!
See ya!
See, after all these years, I know what went wrong.
See, after all these years, I know what went wrong.
See, your days of stealing the spotlight are over.
See, your days of stealing the spotlight are over.
Seems about right.
Seems about right.
Setting up the ultimate gold medal showdown.
Setting up the ultimate gold medal showdown.
Settle down and pop out a few little Chazzlings.
Settle down and pop out a few little Chazzlings.
Sex, sex, sex. What can I say?
Sex, sex, sex. What can I say?
She was ready to quit, hang up her skates
She was ready to quit, hang up her skates
She'll seduce you with chocolates and roses
She'll seduce you with chocolates and roses
She's like dry ice. Wait. She's colder than that.
She's like dry ice. Wait. She's colder than that.
She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?
She's Stranz and Fairchild's sister?
Side by side double Axels! Beautifully delivered!
Side by side double Axels! Beautifully delivered!
Side by side skate clashes.
Side by side skate clashes.
Skaters to the ice.
Skaters to the ice.
Skaters, please clear the ice in preparation for the pairs competition.
Skaters, please clear the ice in preparation for the pairs competition.
Skating.
Skating.
Snowflake!
Snowflake!
Snowflake.
Snowflake.
So appropriate.
So appropriate.
So glad you're all here.
So glad you're all here.
So I knew she was limber.
So I knew she was limber.
So I quit.
So I quit.
So important to remember that that dove was in his suit the whole time.
So important to remember that that dove was in his suit the whole time.
So Jimmy and Chazz together and no fighting, huh?
So Jimmy and Chazz together and no fighting, huh?
So many moves in this programme I've never heard of before.
So many moves in this programme I've never heard of before.
So might as well try it.
So might as well try it.
So that the Lone Wolf never has to be alone again.
So that the Lone Wolf never has to be alone again.
So tonight, the crowd cheers on their beloved Van Waldenbergs.
So tonight, the crowd cheers on their beloved Van Waldenbergs.
So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
So, Coach, I was thinking about the music for our routine.
So, how'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice with your wiener?
So, how'd it go with your lady? Carve up any ice with your wiener?
So, Katie, it looks like your date went really well the other night, huh?
So, Katie, it looks like your date went really well the other night, huh?
So, let me ask you, any thoughts on the competition?
So, let me ask you, any thoughts on the competition?
So, the favourites, Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg
So, the favourites, Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg
So, what's that one with the horse?
So, what's that one with the horse?
Some say questionable, training methods,
Some say questionable, training methods,
Something never seen before.
Something never seen before.
Soon, Jimmy was sweeping the gold
Soon, Jimmy was sweeping the gold
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm hot.
Sorry. I'm hot.
Spaetzle! Oh, my God!
Spaetzle! Oh, my God!
Spawned in the hell fires of Motown.
Spawned in the hell fires of Motown.
Squat thrusts are hard.
Squat thrusts are hard.
Step aside, home school. There's a new sheriff in town.
Step aside, home school. There's a new sheriff in town.
Still? In heaven? You're still dead?
Still? In heaven? You're still dead?
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
Stranger danger! Stranger danger!
Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg,
Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg,
Stranz Van Waldenberg.
Stranz Van Waldenberg.
Stranz!
Stranz!
Stranz?
Stranz?
Stranz. Fairchild. Melissa Kelly, ESPN2.
Stranz. Fairchild. Melissa Kelly, ESPN2.
Surfing a tsunami of swagger right now.
Surfing a tsunami of swagger right now.
Sweet.
Sweet.
Syphilis, gonorrhoea, et cetera. Should we...
Syphilis, gonorrhoea, et cetera. Should we...
Talk. Relax.
Talk. Relax.
Taxi!
Taxi!
Taylor, come on, man.
Taylor, come on, man.
Thank God.
Thank God.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks to Hector's idea!
Thanks to Hector's idea!
Thanks, brother man. Have a good night.
Thanks, brother man. Have a good night.
Thanks.
Thanks.
That a boy, Jimmy. Come on.
That a boy, Jimmy. Come on.
That a buddy of mine let me flood with a garden hose.
That a buddy of mine let me flood with a garden hose.
That it would have catapulted the team that stuck it straight to the top.
That it would have catapulted the team that stuck it straight to the top.
That man who's chasing us is trying to kill me. So, thanks.
That man who's chasing us is trying to kill me. So, thanks.
That might require some bad behaviour.
That might require some bad behaviour.
That one represents the dragon lady. You might know her as Michelle Kwan.
That one represents the dragon lady. You might know her as Michelle Kwan.
That one? It's nothing.
That one? It's nothing.
That skate with this kind of beauty.
That skate with this kind of beauty.
That was disgusting.
That was disgusting.
That was stupid that I said that. You know what? No.
That was stupid that I said that. You know what? No.
That was textbook execution. Same scores I beat you with in Oslo.
That was textbook execution. Same scores I beat you with in Oslo.
That was uncalled for. They're fine, I overreacted.
That was uncalled for. They're fine, I overreacted.
That working with hides and pelts releases the soul.
That working with hides and pelts releases the soul.
That, young man, is how babies are made.
That, young man, is how babies are made.
That's a month away.
That's a month away.
That's all right. Let's not let them get into our heads.
That's all right. Let's not let them get into our heads.
That's because I'm not finished.
That's because I'm not finished.
That's enough! Why do you guys keep doing that?
That's enough! Why do you guys keep doing that?
That's how much you mean to me.
That's how much you mean to me.
That's lame.
That's lame.
That's Michelle Kwan, most decorated figure skater in US history?
That's Michelle Kwan, most decorated figure skater in US history?
That's not my style. Chazz Michael Michaels goes it alone.
That's not my style. Chazz Michael Michaels goes it alone.
That's the reality. Another layer to the legend.
That's the reality. Another layer to the legend.
That's very important to us.
That's very important to us.
That's what I thought.
That's what I thought.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's why I floored you in '02 and the spring of '99.
That's why I floored you in '02 and the spring of '99.
That's why they call me the Lone Wolf, on my back there.
That's why they call me the Lone Wolf, on my back there.
That's why those seats are so valuable.
That's why those seats are so valuable.
That's you, the wolf that runs with the Lone Wolf.
That's you, the wolf that runs with the Lone Wolf.
The anxiety was palpable when they arrived this morning
The anxiety was palpable when they arrived this morning
The best Chinese and Russian pairs have fallen away,
The best Chinese and Russian pairs have fallen away,
The big story here is
The big story here is
The bling is king. This pair is willing the crowd into a frenzy.
The bling is king. This pair is willing the crowd into a frenzy.
The courage to go home tonight without having sex with my friend's girlfriend
The courage to go home tonight without having sex with my friend's girlfriend
The dance lift, the press lift, the twist lift,
The dance lift, the press lift, the twist lift,
The eyes of a small child, seeing that wonder as they...
The eyes of a small child, seeing that wonder as they...
The fantastic attention to detail this pair has demonstrated.
The fantastic attention to detail this pair has demonstrated.
The finest skaters from all over the country have trained tirelessly,
The finest skaters from all over the country have trained tirelessly,
The gold medal has been won by Jimmy and Chazz,
The gold medal has been won by Jimmy and Chazz,
The gold standard of pairs figure skating.
The gold standard of pairs figure skating.
The honourable thing is to walk away and that is exactly what I'm doing.
The honourable thing is to walk away and that is exactly what I'm doing.
The lights are on and so is this crowd.
The lights are on and so is this crowd.
The male male pair of Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels.
The male male pair of Jimmy MacElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels.
The men's pairs figure skating team of Michaels and MacElroy.
The men's pairs figure skating team of Michaels and MacElroy.
The Native Americans always said
The Native Americans always said
The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award,
The only skater to win four national championships and an adult film award,
The pairs team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg.
The pairs team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg.
The pairs team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg.
The pairs team of Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg.
The performance of a lifetime, Jimmy MacElroy!
The performance of a lifetime, Jimmy MacElroy!
The physics were off.
The physics were off.
The undefeatable underdog, ice skating's backdoor lover,
The undefeatable underdog, ice skating's backdoor lover,
The world turns its eyes now to this frozen sanctuary
The world turns its eyes now to this frozen sanctuary
The world wondered, had Stranz and Fairchild gone into a layback spin
The world wondered, had Stranz and Fairchild gone into a layback spin
Their first move's so difficult. Throw triple Axel.
Their first move's so difficult. Throw triple Axel.
Theirs seemed to be a charmed life until March 14th, 1987
Theirs seemed to be a charmed life until March 14th, 1987
There are very few women in the history of this sport
There are very few women in the history of this sport
There he is. Skating's outlaw, Chazz Michael Michaels.
There he is. Skating's outlaw, Chazz Michael Michaels.
There's a loophole. I was banned from men's singles but not pairs.
There's a loophole. I was banned from men's singles but not pairs.
There's only one way.
There's only one way.
These are a couple of diaper bags I made for Faith Hill.
These are a couple of diaper bags I made for Faith Hill.
These guys put the "bone" in Zamboni.
These guys put the "bone" in Zamboni.
These same gendered sensations have taken
These same gendered sensations have taken
These two blue eyed funk machines are going to find themselves
These two blue eyed funk machines are going to find themselves
They almost have it, until...
They almost have it, until...
They already handed out the girls' medals this morning.
They already handed out the girls' medals this morning.
They are giving him the love and he is giving it right back.
They are giving him the love and he is giving it right back.
They did publish the rest of your quote. You go on to say,
They did publish the rest of your quote. You go on to say,
They got by on 97 percent adrenaline and three percent bullshit.
They got by on 97 percent adrenaline and three percent bullshit.
They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon.
They laughed at Louis Armstrong when he said he was gonna go to the moon.
They may look cute and innocent but they're nothing
They may look cute and innocent but they're nothing
They only make 11 of them a year.
They only make 11 of them a year.
They see you skate out there with a big wizard head on, you know?
They see you skate out there with a big wizard head on, you know?
They'll be dramatising a forbidden romance, Jim.
They'll be dramatising a forbidden romance, Jim.
They're going for the Iron Lotus, in reverse.
They're going for the Iron Lotus, in reverse.
They're laughing at us.
They're laughing at us.
They're picking up speed for something spectacular.
They're picking up speed for something spectacular.
They're too tight.
They're too tight.
They've always been that way as competitors, as individuals
They've always been that way as competitors, as individuals
They've literally taken this sport by storm.
They've literally taken this sport by storm.
This crowd is going wild! They're on their feet!
This crowd is going wild! They're on their feet!
This ends tonight.
This ends tonight.
This has to be a proud moment for Michaels and MacElroy.
This has to be a proud moment for Michaels and MacElroy.
This ice has not been properly Zambonied.
This ice has not been properly Zambonied.
This is my brother!
This is my brother!
This might be enough to send them to Montreal
This might be enough to send them to Montreal
This one cost me $12,000 or 30 million lira.
This one cost me $12,000 or 30 million lira.
This was my favourite place growing up.
This was my favourite place growing up.
Those two are turning this sport into a freak show.
Those two are turning this sport into a freak show.
Those were the same scores I got, Einstein. We're tied.
Those were the same scores I got, Einstein. We're tied.
Throw me some chicken!
Throw me some chicken!
Till I get it right. You gotta trust me, Jesse.
Till I get it right. You gotta trust me, Jesse.
To flip this sport inside out.
To flip this sport inside out.
To have spread all the way through this arena.
To have spread all the way through this arena.
To make this right! Jimmy needs to know the truth!
To make this right! Jimmy needs to know the truth!
To minimise wind resistance.
To minimise wind resistance.
To nurturing athletically advanced human orphans.
To nurturing athletically advanced human orphans.
To the children of the world.
To the children of the world.
To the World Wintersport Games in Montreal.
To the World Wintersport Games in Montreal.
Together. You're really gonna go through with this, huh?
Together. You're really gonna go through with this, huh?
Troubled childhood?
Troubled childhood?
Try it again!
Try it again!
Try to get through that!
Try to get through that!
Turned out well.
Turned out well.
Twenty two, so nobody can say I didn't try. We've had a good run.
Twenty two, so nobody can say I didn't try. We've had a good run.
Two gold medals?
Two gold medals?
Two men skating together and in our division, no less.
Two men skating together and in our division, no less.
Two men skating together? That's a riot. That's a laugh riot.
Two men skating together? That's a riot. That's a laugh riot.
Two men, only one winner.
Two men, only one winner.
Unbelievable finish to an incredible routine!
Unbelievable finish to an incredible routine!
Unreal. An instant classic.
Unreal. An instant classic.
Until her friend, a massage therapist, walked in the door naked.
Until her friend, a massage therapist, walked in the door naked.
USA!
USA!
USA.
USA.
Used improperly, you can break every bone in your body.
Used improperly, you can break every bone in your body.
Van Waldenberg Companies.
Van Waldenberg Companies.
Wait!
Wait!
Wait! Jimmy!
Wait! Jimmy!
Wait. Do you really mean that?
Wait. Do you really mean that?
Was it good for you, Stockholm?
Was it good for you, Stockholm?
We are forced to take Michaels and MacElroy out of play, no matter what.
We are forced to take Michaels and MacElroy out of play, no matter what.
We can do this.
We can do this.
We did it, Hector!
We did it, Hector!
We got two days till Montreal. I wanna see an Iron Lotus.
We got two days till Montreal. I wanna see an Iron Lotus.
We got you, Mr Michaels. Let's go.
We got you, Mr Michaels. Let's go.
We have to do something that only two men can do together.
We have to do something that only two men can do together.
We let down the Funky Bunch.
We let down the Funky Bunch.
We love you, Jimmy.
We love you, Jimmy.
We want you to turn your attention to Chazz now.
We want you to turn your attention to Chazz now.
We'll just move on to Plan B.
We'll just move on to Plan B.
We'll switch places.
We'll switch places.
We're finished. Done. That's it. It's over. Damn it. Just like that.
We're finished. Done. That's it. It's over. Damn it. Just like that.
We're freestyling. You're the steak, I'm the sizzle.
We're freestyling. You're the steak, I'm the sizzle.
We're going straight up the ass of the competition, Scott.
We're going straight up the ass of the competition, Scott.
We're going to Montreal, bitch!
We're going to Montreal, bitch!
We're just asking you to discreetly tape their practice routines.
We're just asking you to discreetly tape their practice routines.
We're living in the here and now.
We're living in the here and now.
We've been skating for two and a half years.
We've been skating for two and a half years.
Welcome to my little production.
Welcome to my little production.
Well, at least they're getting the moves down.
Well, at least they're getting the moves down.
Well, but she's wrong.
Well, but she's wrong.
Well, I could have one. I could have a killer one.
Well, I could have one. I could have a killer one.
Well, I'll tell you something, Jim.
Well, I'll tell you something, Jim.
Well, Scott, the boys seem to be using a science fiction theme tonight.
Well, Scott, the boys seem to be using a science fiction theme tonight.
Well, she was my yoga instructor.
Well, she was my yoga instructor.
Well, speaking of gold medals,
Well, speaking of gold medals,
Well, Stranz and Fairchild,
Well, Stranz and Fairchild,
Well, that was an interesting take on American history.
Well, that was an interesting take on American history.
Well, then, in that case, it's good for my back,
Well, then, in that case, it's good for my back,
Well, they titled this routine "Fire and Ice."
Well, they titled this routine "Fire and Ice."
Well, this is Rice without Montana.
Well, this is Rice without Montana.
Well, well, yeah, you're right. I'll try to be more careful next time.
Well, well, yeah, you're right. I'll try to be more careful next time.
Well, you know he is sex on ice.
Well, you know he is sex on ice.
What a great effort!
What a great effort!
What about that one on your shoulder? Who's that?
What about that one on your shoulder? Who's that?
What about the amazing Michaels and MacElroy?
What about the amazing Michaels and MacElroy?
What about you? You got any tats?
What about you? You got any tats?
What am I supposed to say?
What am I supposed to say?
What an unbelievably disastrous beginning to this routine!
What an unbelievably disastrous beginning to this routine!
What are you doing here?
What are you doing here?
What are you doing there? No. Wait, wait. It's okay. No.
What are you doing there? No. Wait, wait. It's okay. No.
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you two doing here?
What are you two doing here?
What happened? What's the word?
What happened? What's the word?
What have you been up to?
What have you been up to?
What I felt in my pants was weird and shameful.
What I felt in my pants was weird and shameful.
What is it? Boom.
What is it? Boom.
What is this place? It smells like fish.
What is this place? It smells like fish.
What up, homes?
What up, homes?
What we got is a cold storage unit
What we got is a cold storage unit
What you guys were talking about?
What you guys were talking about?
What, what!
What, what!
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What?
What? For me? Why?
What? For me? Why?
What? I brought you a gold medal.
What? I brought you a gold medal.
What? I guess so. Why?
What? I guess so. Why?
What? No! I am not gonna have sex with Chazz.
What? No! I am not gonna have sex with Chazz.
What's so funny, Cool Whip?
What's so funny, Cool Whip?
When I was a kid, a little.
When I was a kid, a little.
When I was nine, my dad insisted on having me circumcised
When I was nine, my dad insisted on having me circumcised
When their parents died tragically in a car crash.
When their parents died tragically in a car crash.
Where one man's body ends and another begins.
Where one man's body ends and another begins.
Where the hell you been?
Where the hell you been?
Which is not to say this rough hewn heartthrob doesn't have a softer side.
Which is not to say this rough hewn heartthrob doesn't have a softer side.
While driving me to skating practice, my parents were in a fatal accident.
While driving me to skating practice, my parents were in a fatal accident.
While his trademark Jimmy curl was sweeping the nation,
While his trademark Jimmy curl was sweeping the nation,
While their sister, Katie, cheered from the sidelines.
While their sister, Katie, cheered from the sidelines.
Who are you supposed to be anyway? Rod Serling?
Who are you supposed to be anyway? Rod Serling?
Who is that girl?
Who is that girl?
Who's gonna save you now, Chazz?
Who's gonna save you now, Chazz?
Who's talking about love? We just want you to have sex with him.
Who's talking about love? We just want you to have sex with him.
Whoever invented rope was a real a hole.
Whoever invented rope was a real a hole.
Why don't you come to my room tonight and we can comfort each other?
Why don't you come to my room tonight and we can comfort each other?
Why don't you get out of here before I throw down?
Why don't you get out of here before I throw down?
Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself?
Why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself?
Why is God singling us out
Why is God singling us out
Why would we step in baby food?
Why would we step in baby food?
Why, Stranz?
Why, Stranz?
Will it be Chazz Michael Michaels?
Will it be Chazz Michael Michaels?
Will not mesh with Michaels' improvisations
Will not mesh with Michaels' improvisations
With a big bottle of canola oil
With a big bottle of canola oil
With a couple of jumps thrown in, right?
With a couple of jumps thrown in, right?
With his father's state of the art,
With his father's state of the art,
World Wintersport Games. And yes, I am Chazz Michael Michaels.
World Wintersport Games. And yes, I am Chazz Michael Michaels.
Would you just shut up? You don't know what you're talking about.
Would you just shut up? You don't know what you're talking about.
Would you like some champagne?
Would you like some champagne?
Wouldn't you feel more comfortable
Wouldn't you feel more comfortable
Wow, so, you're a sex addict, too.
Wow, so, you're a sex addict, too.
Wow! A dramatic entrance for Chazz Michael Michaels.
Wow! A dramatic entrance for Chazz Michael Michaels.
Wow! Flawless, as always.
Wow! Flawless, as always.
Wow! Nice work. Somebody got busy in a big way.
Wow! Nice work. Somebody got busy in a big way.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, and the media loves freaks.
Yeah, and the media loves freaks.
Yeah, but can they do it in front of five judges and 30 million people?
Yeah, but can they do it in front of five judges and 30 million people?
Yeah, Hector?
Yeah, Hector?
Yeah, listen, it's great to see you, Hector, but I'm really busy right now.
Yeah, listen, it's great to see you, Hector, but I'm really busy right now.
Yeah, they were really good. Way to go.
Yeah, they were really good. Way to go.
Yeah, unfortunately, but it's fantastic that you're here.
Yeah, unfortunately, but it's fantastic that you're here.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. But don't let her fool you. She's as cold as the ice she skates on.
Yeah. But don't let her fool you. She's as cold as the ice she skates on.
Yeah. Ergo. Chick.
Yeah. Ergo. Chick.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. That's great.
Yeah. That's great.
Yes, I did. See that? Pure power. You could use a nickel's worth, junior.
Yes, I did. See that? Pure power. You could use a nickel's worth, junior.
Yes, I do. I do. I can't go through with this.
Yes, I do. I do. I can't go through with this.
Yes, I think so. No.
Yes, I think so. No.
Yes, it does. Get used to it, Jimmy.
Yes, it does. Get used to it, Jimmy.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Thank you, Taylor.
Yes. Thank you, Taylor.
Yes. The galloping peacock. And look at him getting air on that.
Yes. The galloping peacock. And look at him getting air on that.
Yo. Hi. It's the Mac attack. What up?
Yo. Hi. It's the Mac attack. What up?
You an official here?
You an official here?
You are evil. Pure evil!
You are evil. Pure evil!
You are going to eat together, sleep together.
You are going to eat together, sleep together.
You are going to pee together.
You are going to pee together.
You are not stronger. Watch this, fat ass.
You are not stronger. Watch this, fat ass.
You are to be stripped of your medals...
You are to be stripped of your medals...
You bet your ass it does.
You bet your ass it does.
You can still compete in pairs skating.
You can still compete in pairs skating.
You challenging me, Princess?
You challenging me, Princess?
You crazy bastard!
You crazy bastard!
You crushed my dreams.
You crushed my dreams.
You didn't see shit!
You didn't see shit!
You do not get shotgun every time.
You do not get shotgun every time.
You figured out how to work the Google on the Internet machine.
You figured out how to work the Google on the Internet machine.
You figured out how to work the Google on the Internet machine.
You figured out how to work the Google on the Internet machine.
You get that damned bird out of my face before I break its neck.
You get that damned bird out of my face before I break its neck.
You getting a lot of satisfaction from those $15 hookers?
You getting a lot of satisfaction from those $15 hookers?
You got another five miles, then you get a LUNA bar.
You got another five miles, then you get a LUNA bar.
You gotta be careful, man. Unlike you, I actually use these things.
You gotta be careful, man. Unlike you, I actually use these things.
You guys are the best. Hey, Jimmy?
You guys are the best. Hey, Jimmy?
You guys are up.
You guys are up.
You guys were so good at Nationals, it scared my brother and sister.
You guys were so good at Nationals, it scared my brother and sister.
You have to think, the only thing sweeter than winning a gold medal
You have to think, the only thing sweeter than winning a gold medal
You idiot!
You idiot!
You knew this was how I rolled when you met me.
You knew this was how I rolled when you met me.
You know damn well I'm not letting either of you sign up. They're banned.
You know damn well I'm not letting either of you sign up. They're banned.
You know I have a restraining order against you.
You know I have a restraining order against you.
You know the one that looks like Elvis?
You know the one that looks like Elvis?
You know what, dude, your hand has to be on top.
You know what, dude, your hand has to be on top.
You know what, Jimmy? Off the skates, you're on stockroom duty, now. Let's go.
You know what, Jimmy? Off the skates, you're on stockroom duty, now. Let's go.
You know what? I permanently called shotgun.
You know what? I permanently called shotgun.
You know, we're just so grateful for this wonderful opportunity
You know, we're just so grateful for this wonderful opportunity
You know, when things are so crazy,
You know, when things are so crazy,
You know, you just caught me getting out of the shower.
You know, you just caught me getting out of the shower.
You look great, Jimmy. You look amazing. Your hair rocks.
You look great, Jimmy. You look amazing. Your hair rocks.
You look so good. Oh, my gosh.
You look so good. Oh, my gosh.
You mean Katie Van Waldenberg?
You mean Katie Van Waldenberg?
You nailed it shut. Every move exactly like I showed you.
You nailed it shut. Every move exactly like I showed you.
You see, it helps to think of the laces as belonging to three distinct groups.
You see, it helps to think of the laces as belonging to three distinct groups.
You see? You're only banned from your division, men's singles!
You see? You're only banned from your division, men's singles!
You sex demon! You, you sex fiend!
You sex demon! You, you sex fiend!
You smell like aftershave and taco meat.
You smell like aftershave and taco meat.
You stood your ground. Good for you. We respect that.
You stood your ground. Good for you. We respect that.
You take off your shoes before you set foot on the Berber.
You take off your shoes before you set foot on the Berber.
You think you're so tough. Huh? I'm not fat. I can do this.
You think you're so tough. Huh? I'm not fat. I can do this.
You trying to break up my family?
You trying to break up my family?
You two are the last pieces of the puzzle.
You two are the last pieces of the puzzle.
You were drunk when you got it, weren't you?
You were drunk when you got it, weren't you?
You would do that to your own family?
You would do that to your own family?
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're gonna file a joint income tax return.
You're gonna file a joint income tax return.
You're gonna make it harder for yourselves.
You're gonna make it harder for yourselves.
You're gonna need those later. Now, come on.
You're gonna need those later. Now, come on.
You're gonna skate as a pair. You'll live as a pair.
You're gonna skate as a pair. You'll live as a pair.
You're in Chazz's world now.
You're in Chazz's world now.
You're living in the past, Sammy.
You're living in the past, Sammy.
You're right on time. Come in.
You're right on time. Come in.
You're tensing your face. If you tense your face,
You're tensing your face. If you tense your face,
You're the girl.
You're the girl.
You're the guys everybody's talking about. How does it feel?
You're the guys everybody's talking about. How does it feel?
You're two men. You should be fine.
You're two men. You should be fine.
You're under arrest for the desecration of an international icon.
You're under arrest for the desecration of an international icon.
You've been practising.
You've been practising.
You've never skated?
You've never skated?
Your partner's not here in 30 seconds, I have to disqualify you.
Your partner's not here in 30 seconds, I have to disqualify you.
Your problem is your boundaries. That ends today.
Your problem is your boundaries. That ends today.
Your whole family's evil! Your brother.
Your whole family's evil! Your brother.
5.9, 5.9, 6.0,
5.9, 5.9, 6.0,
5.9, 5.9, 6.0...
5.9, 5.9, 6.0...
5.9, 6.0, 5.8.
5.9, 6.0, 5.8.
5.9, 6.0...
5.9, 6.0...
8:00 tonight. That sounds great.
8:00 tonight. That sounds great.
8:00 tonight. We did it!
8:00 tonight. We did it!
11:55 sharp.
11:55 sharp.
"Real hard." Real hard.
"Real hard." Real hard.
"Turn weakness into strength." Good for you.
"Turn weakness into strength." Good for you.
And where's the warm down room? We don't have any of that.
And where's the warm down room? We don't have any of that.
Are you nuts? What? That's crazy.
Are you nuts? What? That's crazy.
Are you trying to skater poach? No.
Are you trying to skater poach? No.
Bunk beds? I don't share rooms.
Bunk beds? I don't share rooms.
Chazz, fill this out. No.
Chazz, fill this out. No.
Chazz, put your skates back on. No, it's too late. They're off.
Chazz, put your skates back on. No, it's too late. They're off.
Coach! Shut up!
Coach! Shut up!
Damn it! Watch my Icy Hot Super Slide.
Damn it! Watch my Icy Hot Super Slide.
Did you just say "mind bottling?" Yeah, mind bottling.
Did you just say "mind bottling?" Yeah, mind bottling.
Do it. I will.
Do it. I will.
Do you use this stuff on your hair? Uh huh.
Do you use this stuff on your hair? Uh huh.
Fine, I'll do it. Yes.
Fine, I'll do it. Yes.
Get out of my face. I'll get inside your face.
Get out of my face. I'll get inside your face.
Good luck. You, too.
Good luck. You, too.
Great! I'm not a magician.
Great! I'm not a magician.
He would never say such a... Yes, I did.
He would never say such a... Yes, I did.
He's talking about the carpet. Berber? What are you? The Rug Doctor?
He's talking about the carpet. Berber? What are you? The Rug Doctor?
Hey, Stranz. Hi.
Hey, Stranz. Hi.
I am figure skating. Stop it!
I am figure skating. Stop it!
I can't do it. I'll coach you. Get on the phone.
I can't do it. I'll coach you. Get on the phone.
I can't do that. It's crazy. It's not crazy.
I can't do that. It's crazy. It's not crazy.
I don't see what's so funny. If you were as drunk as me, you would.
I don't see what's so funny. If you were as drunk as me, you would.
I don't wanna die. Take a huff of that. Here we go.
I don't wanna die. Take a huff of that. Here we go.
I feel as slimy as if I had. Where do you think you're going?
I feel as slimy as if I had. Where do you think you're going?
I have no idea where I came up with it. Cool.
I have no idea where I came up with it. Cool.
I have to call her back. This is so rude. No! Are you insane?
I have to call her back. This is so rude. No! Are you insane?
I know! We didn't even get to second base.
I know! We didn't even get to second base.
I place my future in their tiny hands. That is retarded.
I place my future in their tiny hands. That is retarded.
I think I broke my ankle. What?
I think I broke my ankle. What?
I won't hurt you. I'm coming for you, Chazz!
I won't hurt you. I'm coming for you, Chazz!
I'll call you! ...the judges' scores are:
I'll call you! ...the judges' scores are:
I'm un adopting you. What?
I'm un adopting you. What?
It was her idea. She broke his ankle! What?
It was her idea. She broke his ankle! What?
It's gonna make sense. No, no, no. It'll be fine. Yeah.
It's gonna make sense. No, no, no. It'll be fine. Yeah.
Jimmy, wait! Hey, wait! Brother man!
Jimmy, wait! Hey, wait! Brother man!
Just scoot over, man. Don't.
Just scoot over, man. Don't.
Just scoot over. You scoot over.
Just scoot over. You scoot over.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie. You're high.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tie. You're high.
Ladies and gentlemen... Jimmy!
Ladies and gentlemen... Jimmy!
Let's kick some ice. Okay.
Let's kick some ice. Okay.
Look, I'm like lightning. Put your skates back on.
Look, I'm like lightning. Put your skates back on.
Mane n' Tail. Is this horse shampoo? Yes, it is.
Mane n' Tail. Is this horse shampoo? Yes, it is.
Maybe I am. I'm the rug master.
Maybe I am. I'm the rug master.
Maybe I will. Maybe you should.
Maybe I will. Maybe you should.
No, it's not. It's gross. It gets the people going.
No, it's not. It's gross. It gets the people going.
No, you can't. I can't. It's ringing. Go.
No, you can't. I can't. It's ringing. Go.
Nothing breaks up a team faster than... Herpes.
Nothing breaks up a team faster than... Herpes.
Nothing happened! Jimmy!
Nothing happened! Jimmy!
Now it's on! You're so fat!
Now it's on! You're so fat!
Oh, God, what a relief. Yeah.
Oh, God, what a relief. Yeah.
Oh, I don't wanna die. You'll be okay.
Oh, I don't wanna die. You'll be okay.
Really? We're gonna skate to one song,
Really? We're gonna skate to one song,
Remember the slides I showed you? But they're beautiful.
Remember the slides I showed you? But they're beautiful.
Sell yourself. Will you be quiet?
Sell yourself. Will you be quiet?
She just got out of the shower. Oh, me likey.
She just got out of the shower. Oh, me likey.
She's gonna hear you. Get back on the phone. Say, "Shower?
She's gonna hear you. Get back on the phone. Say, "Shower?
Skaters to the ice. Hold on!
Skaters to the ice. Hold on!
Sorry. Maybe it's Nike.
Sorry. Maybe it's Nike.
Then bring it on! It is on!
Then bring it on! It is on!
They wanted me to spy on you. Really?
They wanted me to spy on you. Really?
Twin dongs? Exactly.
Twin dongs? Exactly.
Wait. What are you doing? I'm calling her. Or rather, you are.
Wait. What are you doing? I'm calling her. Or rather, you are.
Wait. Why? Because you whine like one!
Wait. Why? Because you whine like one!
Was the fire really necessary? Ask them.
Was the fire really necessary? Ask them.
Welcome to the pack. Thanks.
Welcome to the pack. Thanks.
Well, Coach? You nailed it, Jimmy. You nailed it.
Well, Coach? You nailed it, Jimmy. You nailed it.
What are you talking about? Let's go! Come on!
What are you talking about? Let's go! Come on!
What does that even mean? Shut up and take off your damn shoes.
What does that even mean? Shut up and take off your damn shoes.
What the hell are they doing? Something's wrong.
What the hell are they doing? Something's wrong.
What? But congratulations!
What? But congratulations!
What? What?
What? What?
What? You're my pretty lady, MacElroy.
What? You're my pretty lady, MacElroy.
What's colder than dry ice? I don't know.
What's colder than dry ice? I don't know.
What's Plan B? I'm sorry, don't worry about that.
What's Plan B? I'm sorry, don't worry about that.
What's that, Mother? Don't.
What's that, Mother? Don't.
Where're you going? Sex addicts meeting.
Where're you going? Sex addicts meeting.
Who the hell is Jimmy MacElroy? Is there a problem here, sir?
Who the hell is Jimmy MacElroy? Is there a problem here, sir?
Yeah, a fresh start. Exactly. Good. Jimmy,
Yeah, a fresh start. Exactly. Good. Jimmy,
Yeah, we had snow cones... Oh, that's so great.
Yeah, we had snow cones... Oh, that's so great.
Yeah. God, that burns. Oh, yeah?
Yeah. God, that burns. Oh, yeah?
Yes! Yes! Oh, my gosh!
Yes! Yes! Oh, my gosh!
Yes. No. No.
Yes. No. No.
You drunk? No.
You drunk? No.
You gotta start skating again, Jimmy. What?
You gotta start skating again, Jimmy. What?
You smell like urine. A lot?
You smell like urine. A lot?
You tapped that? Sure did.
You tapped that? Sure did.
...5.8.
...5.8.
...and banned from men's figure skating for the remainder of your lives!
...and banned from men's figure skating for the remainder of your lives!
'cause I just got back from the gym doing my squat thrusts.
'cause I just got back from the gym doing my squat thrusts.
'Cause I will knock your block off.
'Cause I will knock your block off.
'Cause you have officially given me a boner.
'Cause you have officially given me a boner.
"A lifetime ban is irrevocable and the banned skater can never again
"A lifetime ban is irrevocable and the banned skater can never again
"Chazz Michael Michaels is figure skating."
"Chazz Michael Michaels is figure skating."
"compete in any Federation sanctioned tournament
"compete in any Federation sanctioned tournament
"doing my squat thrusts."
"doing my squat thrusts."
"For a lustrous coat." Does this actually work?
"For a lustrous coat." Does this actually work?
"I gotta get me one of those 'cause I just got back from the gym
"I gotta get me one of those 'cause I just got back from the gym
"Jimmy MacElroy is a lifeless robot on the ice"?
"Jimmy MacElroy is a lifeless robot on the ice"?
"Pour some sweet cream on it."
"Pour some sweet cream on it."
"Squat thrusts must be hard, real hard."
"Squat thrusts must be hard, real hard."
"that exists in such a skater's division."
"that exists in such a skater's division."
"The Iron Lotus."
"The Iron Lotus."
"They're hard, all right. But it's worth it to get a sweet burn deep in your thigh."
"They're hard, all right. But it's worth it to get a sweet burn deep in your thigh."
"with more personality than that Daddy's boy." End quote.
"with more personality than that Daddy's boy." End quote.
"You know how you can soothe a nasty burn?
"You know how you can soothe a nasty burn?
♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪
♪ And I don't wanna miss a thing ♪
♪ Don't wanna close my eyes ♪
♪ Don't wanna close my eyes ♪
♪ Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I miss you Jimmy ♪
♪ Don't wanna fall asleep 'Cause I miss you Jimmy ♪
♪ I'm gonna get you, get you drunk Get you drunk off my lady hump ♪
♪ I'm gonna get you, get you drunk Get you drunk off my lady hump ♪
♪ My hump, my hump My lovely lady hump ♪
♪ My hump, my hump My lovely lady hump ♪
♪ What you gonna do with all that junk All that junk inside my trunk ♪
♪ What you gonna do with all that junk All that junk inside my trunk ♪

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Arnold Schwarzenegger portraying intense emotion, shouting with passion, showcasing his iconic acting style in a classic scene.
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Thought-provoking expression for MEME 2024 Ultra, showcasing cleverness and humor in online culture.
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Woman expressing pleasure, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, conveying moaning sensations in a relaxed environment.
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Donald Trump smiling in front of the American flag, wearing a blue tie and a suit, showcasing a confident demeanor.
Talking Ben Soundboard
Talking Ben, the animated dog with fluffy fur and big eyes, showcases his playful personality and charm in this fun depiction.
MEME Sounds 2023 Ultimate
Confident man with a knowing smile and a finger pointing to his temple, embodying the essence of 2023 meme culture.
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Gachi Sound Pack
Smiling man with a muscular build lying on a bed, showcasing a tattoo and exuding confidence, embodying Gachi Pack charm.
Epic Trolling Sounds
Iconic troll face with exaggerated features, symbolizing epic trolling and internet humor culture.
Ultimate Fart Soundboard
Warning sign featuring a playful icon of a person farting, perfect for adding humor to your 'Ultimate Fart' theme.
MEME Sounds 2023
Confident man with a playful expression, popular in MEME 2023 for its humorous take on common situations and relatable advice.
Goofy Ahh Sounds
Cheerful Goofy character with a big smile against a bright yellow background, embodying the playful spirit of "Goofy Ahh.
Peter Griffin Soundboard
Peter Griffin, the iconic animated character from "Family Guy," smiles in a white shirt against a black background.
Gordon Ramsay Soundboard
Gordon Ramsay smiling confidently in a suit against a blue background, showcasing his iconic style and charismatic presence.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Ghostface (Scream) TTS Computer AI Voice
Iconic Ghostface mask from the Scream series, features a haunting expression and dark hood, symbolizing horror.
Windows XP Soundboard
Windows XP logo featuring vibrant colors on a blue background, symbolizing nostalgia and legacy in computing history.
Michael Jackson Soundboard
Close-up of Michael Jackson, featuring his iconic hairstyle and striking eyes, showcasing his legendary pop star charisma.
Sonic The Hedgehog Sounds
Sonic the Hedgehog, iconic blue character, smiles and points, showcasing his energetic personality in gaming culture.
Borat Sounds
Borat, a comedic character, smiles with a quirky expression, sporting a mustache and light suit, showcasing his unique style.
Funny Sound Effects
Serene portrait blending a woman's face with vibrant roses, showcasing an artistic and whimsical floral effect.
Street Fighter II Sounds
Iconic characters from Street Fighter II, featuring Chun-Li and other fighters, showcasing classic game art style.
Official Xbox Gamer Girl Soundboard
Happy gamer girl with pink hair and cat ear headphones, holding gaming accessories and winking playfully.
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Anime Soundboard
Cute anime girl in a stylish dress with a pink background, showcasing vibrant purple hair and expressive eyes.
Discord Sounds [Official]
Discord official logo on a blue background, representing the popular communication platform for gamers and communities.
Shrek Soundboard
Shrek smiling joyfully, embodying his lovable ogre persona from the iconic animated movie series.
Dank Sounds ???? ?????
Cheerful green character with a big smile, embodying humor and charm from the world of animated films. Perfect for Dank memes!
Half-Life Soundboard
Character model from Half-Life, featuring a scientist with gray hair, a lab coat, and a striped tie, conveying a retro gaming vibe.
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Darth Vader in his iconic black armor, representing the dark side of the Force in Star Wars franchise.
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Herbert The Pervert Old Man Family Guy
Herbert the Pervert, the quirky elderly character from Family Guy, leaning on a walker in his bathrobe outdoors.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo wearing a Portugal jersey, displaying determination and focus during a football match.
Ninja Fortnite
Ninja Fortnite streamer with blue hair and a red bull headband, focused on gaming in a stylish ergonomic chair.
AMOGUS! Among Us Soundboard
Cute light blue character from AMOGUS! Among Us, featuring a prominent eye and a minimalist design. Perfect for gaming fans.
Space Marine Warhammer 40,000 Soundboard
Skull and sword emblem with wings, symbolizing the Space Marine faction in Warhammer 40,000 universe.
This Is Important Soundboard
Group of four men with intense expressions, showcasing the vibe and energy of "This Is Important" project.
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Sir David Attenborough (V2) TTS Computer AI Voice
Sir David Attenborough smiling, showcasing his timeless charm at a public event promoting nature and wildlife documentaries.
LazarBeam
LazarBeam making a funny face in casual attire, showcasing his playful personality and engaging content style.
R2-D2 Sounds: Star Wars
Close-up of R2-D2, the iconic astromech droid from Star Wars, highlighting its blue and silver details and features.
Super Mario Bros. Sounds
Classic Mario leaps joyfully, showcasing his red outfit and iconic mustache in the Super Mario Bros. universe.
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Red crewmate character from Among Us with a blue visor on a bright yellow background, embodying game’s fun and mystery.
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Facial expression of a man enthusiastically performing in a Gachimuchi-themed scene with vibrant neon background.
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Peter Griffin and Cleveland Brown enjoying drinks in a bar scene from Family Guy, highlighting their quirky friendship.
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Pennywise from IT features menacing gaze, iconic red markings, and eerie smile, capturing the essence of fear.
Cat Sounds
Close-up of a curious tabby cat with striking green eyes and distinctive stripes, showcasing its playful personality.
Michael Scott Soundboard
Michael Scott displays a shocked expression, capturing the humorous moments from "The Office" in his iconic office setting.
Rainbow Six Soundboard
British operator holding a hammer in a tactical outfit, representing resilience in Rainbow Six Siege gameplay.
Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus
Creepy troll face meme with exaggerated grin, embodying the essence of Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus humor. Perfect for memes!
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Smiling man in a colorful floral shirt, radiating joy, commonly associated with humorous internet memes and earrape culture.
Jack Black Soundboard
Jack Black making a humorous, exaggerated facial expression, showcasing his lively personality and comedic talent.
Lil Jon Soundboard
Lil Jon energetically shouting, wearing oversized sunglasses and grill, showcasing his iconic style and vibrant personality.
Clash Royale Ringtones
Clash Royale characters celebrating, featuring the King, Knight, and Goblin, with playful skeletons in the background.
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Red Alert 2 game cover featuring a fierce soldier with an eyepatch and Soviet military aesthetics, showcasing strategic warfare.
SMG4 SFX Soundboard #1
SMG4 character in blue attire with iconic mustache and cap, representing a classic video game hero persona.
Tiko Soundboard
Colorful character Tiko, the fish warrior, poses with confidence against a vibrant blue background, showcasing playful gaming aesthetics.
Jojo’s Bizare Adventure Soundboard
Dramatic expression of a character from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, showcasing intense emotion and unique art style.
Dr. Phil Soundboard
Dr. Phil McGraw smiling in a suit, known for his insightful advice and television psychology talk show.
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Anime-style doll with pink hair in a black dress, sitting serenely on a chair, perfect for Hentai enthusiasts and collectors.
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Samuel L. Jackson with a charming smile, showcasing his iconic hairstyle and distinctive mustache in a classic black suit.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
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Donald Trump delivering a casual speech, expressing his views with emphasis and conviction at a public event.
MEME Sounds 2018
Confident man making a clever expression, popular in 2018 meme culture, symbolizing intelligence and wit.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Logo of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' game show, featuring iconic design and vibrant colors, symbolizing wealth and knowledge.
Game Show FX Soundboard
Bold neon sign reading "EPIC GAME SHOW" showcasing vibrant colors and dynamic design, perfect for game show themes.
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Colorful Windows logo symbolizing the modern interface of Windows 10, featuring vibrant quadrants in blue, green, red, and yellow.
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Big Lez character with a serious expression, wearing glasses and a military-style hat, set against a bright blue background.
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Vibrant red lightsaber held by a character, set against a purple background, showcasing Star Wars themes and excitement.
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Deadpool in a red and black costume, wielding weapons, showcasing his signature style and intense demeanor.
Hank Hill Sounds: King Of The Hill - Season 1
Hank Hill from King of the Hill Season 1, wearing glasses, showcasing his iconic serious expression and distinctive hairstyle.
Michael Jackson Grunts & Emotes
Michael Jackson in a striking red jacket, showcasing his iconic style and expressive emotes from his legendary performances.
Dog Sounds
Smiling golden retriever with a joyful expression, showcasing its friendly personality and loveable nature.
Meme Soundboard 2024 Dank Edition
Pepe the Frog in a suit, exuding confidence in the 2024 Dank Meme Edition, perfect for humor enthusiasts.
Meme Soundboard 2023 Ultimate Edition
Intense action scene from "Meme 2023 Ultimate Edition," featuring explosive effects and characters in motion.
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Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning game screen featuring bright colors, interactive buttons to act and run.
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Side-by-side portraits of two glamorous women showcasing TikTok-inspired beauty trends and makeup styles.
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Jigsaw (NEW) official trailer featuring a dark, mysterious atmosphere and suspenseful elements. Don't miss the thrilling reveal.
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Mortal Kombat character poised for action, showcasing iconic blue attire and powerful stance in Netherealm universe.
Sus Ringtones
Red character with blue visor against a bright yellow background, representing the popular game Among Us. Classic "Sus" vibe.
TTS Sounds
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Pokimane Soundboard
Pokimane poses playfully with a tongue-out expression, wearing a stylish olive green jacket and gray top, showcasing her vibrant style.
Animals Sound Effects Soundboard
Colorful toy animal figures including lions, tigers, pandas, and elephants, perfect for educational play and awareness of wildlife.
Windows XP Sounds
Windows XP logo with loading progress bar, showcasing the classic operating system's startup interface.
Barack Obama Sounds
Smiling portrait of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, showcasing his charismatic leadership and optimism.
Your Mom
Shrek with a serious expression, showcasing his iconic green face and outfit, embodying humor and charm in animated storytelling.
Nazi Zombies Sounds: Call Of Duty
Terrifying Nazi zombie character from Call of Duty, showcasing eerie details and an intense, undead expression.
Solid Snake Sounds: Metal Gear Solid
Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, depicted in a gritty style, showcasing his intense expression and readiness for battle.
Undertale Sound Effects
Cute character from "Undertale" showing shy expressions with blushing cheeks, surrounded by a cozy atmosphere.
Starcraft Sounds
StarCraft II logo featuring a mysterious character with glowing eyes, showcasing iconic sci-fi elements in gaming.
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Sargent Hartman shouts commands, embodying a stern military drill instructor's intensity and authority.
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Andrew Tate posing confidently against a backdrop of shattered glass, showcasing his signature style and tattoos.
Corpse Husband Soundboard
Corpse Husband fan art featuring a half-human, half-skull character with a dark, mysterious aesthetic.
Fe4RLess
Stylized character with futuristic glasses and glowing accents, embodying the bold spirit of Fe4RLess gaming culture.
Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2
Warning sign featuring Postal Dude character from Postal 2, symbolizing chaotic and humorous gameplay elements.
Travis Scott Soundboard
Travis Scott grinning on stage, showcasing his signature style with chains, a cap, and sparkling grills in a vibrant performance.
Macho Man Randy Savage Sounds
Macho Man Randy Savage sporting a vibrant bandana and sunglasses, showcasing his iconic wrestling persona.
Quandale Dingle Sound Effects
Quandale Dingle Effect meme featuring a man with a distinctive exaggerated facial expression and unique hairstyle.
Lamar Davis Sounds: Grand Theft Auto V
Lamar Davis from Grand Theft Auto V, showcasing his signature cap and intense expression in a dynamic pose.
STALKER - Bandit Soundboard
Bandit character from STALKER game, wearing a hooded jacket, holding a shotgun, set against a rugged outdoor backdrop.
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Joe Pesci's Soundboard
Joe Pesci in a classic gangster look, showcasing his iconic style and intense expression. Renowned actor and comedian.
NBA Jam Sounds: On Fire Edition
NBA Jam: On Fire Edition logo featuring vibrant orange basketball and bold red text, capturing retro gaming excitement.
GLaDOS Soundboard
Stylish character with black hair and a confident pose, wearing a dark coat with fur trim. Perfect for fans of edgy design.
⚠️ NSFW
Farid Bang Soundboard Soundboard
Farid Bang striking a confident pose, showcasing his signature style and charisma in urban hip-hop culture.
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Dreamybull Soundboard
Dreamybull expressing enthusiasm with a wide smile, wearing gold chains against a vibrant backdrop.
Sponge Bob Soundboard
SpongeBob SquarePants with a surprised expression, character from the popular animated series, vibrant yellow sponge.
Beavis And Butthead Soundboard
Beavis and Butt-Head face each other, showcasing their signature expressions against a vibrant red background. Classic cartoon duo.
The Simpsons Sounds
Homer, Marge, Bart, and Maggie Simpson with their dog, reflecting the iconic family dynamics of "The Simpsons.
Duke Nukem 3D Sounds
Duke Nukem 3D logo featuring the iconic character against a fiery background with bold typography.
Mario Sounds: Super Mario 64
Mario from Super Mario 64, soaring with his wing cap, showcases vibrant colors and iconic character design.
Memes 2020
Confused facial expression meme with caption "..BRUHH." capturing the essence of relatable reactions in memes 2020.
The Mandalorian Soundboard
Mandalorian warrior in detailed armor stands ready, showcasing the iconic helmet and rugged style of “The Mandalorian.”
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Indian Meme Soundboard 2023
Cheeky monkey making a funny face, trending in Indian memes for 2023, capturing humor and playfulness online.
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Ear Rape Ringtones
Colorful character promoting "Ear Rape," featuring vibrant graphics and playful design, emphasizing quirky humor.
Hatsune Miku Ringtones
Hatsune Miku with vibrant teal hair, playful expression, and futuristic outfit, showcasing her iconic style and charm.
Funny Soundboard
Playful fluffy dog with closed eyes basking in the sun at a park, exuding a charming and funny personality.
Random Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants with a skeptical expression, showcasing his iconic animated charm and comedic personality.
Flappy Bird Sounds
Flappy Bird gameplay showing green pipes and a score of 14 against a starry night background. Classic arcade-style charm.
OME TV VCS Soundboard
Explore VCS, a free app similar to OME TV, with no hassle and no limits. Join now for an exciting online experience!
Fortnite Soundboard
Action-packed Fortnite scene featuring a soldier aiming a weapon, ready for battle in a dynamic environment.
Five Nights At Freddy's 4 (FNAF) Sounds
Terrifying animatronic from Five Nights at Freddy's 4, featuring menacing teeth and unsettling red eyes.
Roblox Soundboard
Roblox logo featuring a bold red background and stylized white letter "R," symbolizing the popular online gaming platform.
J.A.R.V.I.S. Soundboard
J.A.R.V.I.S. logo featuring a futuristic interface and technical design elements, symbolizing advanced AI technology.
⚠️ NSFW
Russian Meme Soundboard
Stalin portrait reimagined, popular in Russian memes, showcasing humor and satire from historical contexts.
Chucky Soundboard
Chucky doll with menacing expression, featuring red hair and overalls, iconic horror character from the Child's Play series.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs (Relator De Fútbol Argentino) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs, famoso relator de fútbol argentino, con un look elegante y expresión seria, en un fondo claro.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin (Modern) TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin playing video games on a couch, wearing a headset, showcasing his funny and relatable gaming persona.
Demon Slayer Ringtones
Rengoku from Demon Slayer stands confidently with sword, surrounded by flames, embodying fiery determination and strength.
Star Wars Soundboard
Bold "Star Wars" logo design in iconic yellow lettering on a black background, symbolizing the epic sci-fi franchise.
IShowSpeed Soundboard
Casual selfie of a young man with dreadlocks adjusting his cap, embodying the vibrant energy of IShowSpeed's personality.
Spongebob Squarepants Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants smiles joyfully in Bikini Bottom, alongside his friend Gary the Snail, showcasing their vibrant underwater world.
Dancehall DJ Sound Effects
Dancehall Takeova mixtape cover by DJ Ceemore featuring vibrant colors and dynamic DJ effects. Exciting dance vibes!
Hentai Sex Soundboard #2 NSFW ?
Cosplayer in a playful bunny outfit with red accents, embodying a character from popular anime culture.
I Like Ya Cut G
Kid with a buzz cut looking back with an intense expression, embodying the playful vibe of "I like ya cut, g.
E-Girl Soundboard
E-Girl aesthetic featuring vibrant green hair, bold makeup, and a stylish black bucket hat for a trendy look.
The Price Is Right SFX
Logo of "The Price is Right," featuring bold typography and a stylized dollar sign, iconic game show brand identity.
Chewbacca Sounds: Star Wars
Chewbacca, the iconic Wookiee from Star Wars, displaying his fierce expression and signature fur.
Talking Ben Soundboard 2
Talking Ben's cute face with big brown eyes and a fluffy texture on a vibrant green background. Fun animated character!
Scout Sounds: Team Fortress 2
Scout from Team Fortress 2 wearing a headset, showcasing his energetic personality and gaming enthusiasm.
Scooby Doo Soundboard
The Mystery Inc. gang, including Velma, Shaggy, and Daphne, examines a large book, solving a Scooby-Doo mystery.
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Scarface Soundboard
Tony Montana, iconic character from Scarface, sits confidently in a lavish chair with a drink, embodying 1980s crime drama style.
John Cena Prank Sounds
John Cena smiling, wearing a red and blue cap, representing his fun and playful side in a lighthearted prank.
Discord Meme Sounds
Discord logo on a blue background, popular among gamers and meme creators for sharing content and jokes.
Rick And Morty Soundboard
Morty Smith with wide eyes and a nervous smile, wearing a yellow shirt in the iconic animated series "Rick and Morty.
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Ringtones
I'm sorry, I can't assist with that.
Windows 98 Soundboard
Classic Windows 98 logo featuring colorful grid design, symbolizing retro computing and nostalgic software culture.
Anime Soundboard 2019
Cheerful anime character with heart-shaped eyes, showcasing excitement and joy typical in 2019 anime series.
Goku Soundboard
Goku transforms into Ultra Instinct, showcasing powerful muscles and iconic orange gi against a cosmic backdrop.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader Version 2.0 in sleek black armor, showcasing iconic helmet and chest panel. Perfect for Star Wars fans and collectors.
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Deutsche Memes - German MLG Meme Soundboard DEU DE
Woman with doge face filter, exaggerated features, embodying German MLG meme humor. Perfect for Deutsche Memes enthusiasts.
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Letterkenny (TV Series) Soundboard
Two main characters from Letterkenny stand confidently against a rustic, red barn, showcasing their distinctive styles.
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Minions Soundboard
Cheerful Minion character with a single eye, wearing denim overalls and black gloves, showcasing playful personality.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
Realistic fish head illustration inspired by Johnny Elaine from Spongebob, swimming in vibrant blue water.
⚠️ NSFW
Elmo Soundboard
Elmo, the beloved red Muppet, smiles excitedly against a purple background, showcasing his playful and cheerful personality.
Funny Sounds Of Germany
Three women holding large beer mugs, enjoying a festive atmosphere, celebrating German culture and humor.
Instant Kaamelott French 🇫🇷 Soundboard
Group of characters from Instant Kaamelott French series, showcasing medieval costumes and engaging expressions.
MrBeast Soundboard
MrBeast wearing sunglasses and a black graphic T-shirt, posing confidently against a textured wall background.
Sling Blade Soundboard
Intense close-up of a character from "Sling Blade," showcasing a powerful expression and captivating gaze.