A bit of a maverick
A ha
A trapped boy
Aboot?
Access to Dixons
Actually, being your age and everything, there's probably no need for them
Afraid so
Ah come on
Ah ha
Ah ha 2
Ah ha 3
Ah ha 4
Ah ha 5
Ahhh (end of episode sigh)
Alan Attack. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach.
Alan Partridge AI covers Carpenters - Close to You (Why Do Birds)
Alan, I want you back on the telly
Alan's Deep Bath - Brought to you by Dettol
Alan's Funny Stories
Alans deep bath brought to you by dettol (2)
Alright Chris
And a broken home is not an excuse for evil
And from 1993, manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them 'Crab Flavoured Sticks'
And I'll be Alan Partridge!
And I'm an innocent bystander
And now it's time for Alan's Fact of the Day
And then I'll put you across my knee and smack your bare bottom
And then make a program about it
Annie Lennox
Another one of those, same time tomorrow
Another series you shit
Any messages?
Aqua
Aqua
Are you the crank caller?
Arm wrestling
Around the world bullnose
Arsonist
As I see it, God created Adam and Eve
Aye
Aye
Aye, you know, vandals
Back of the net
Back of the net
Baileys
Bang and Olufsen
Bang out of order
Bangkok
Bank holiday
Bank holiday2
Bash your arse
Battery for an Ericsson?
Beauty sleep forty winks
Because he was depressed
Because of a threat of a court injunction
Best friends
Best full English breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding
Best valentines in eight years
Better idea, why don't you shove it up your arse?
Big eared boys
Big girls bras
Biggestfan
Billwithers
Bingbangstickitin
Bird noise
Bit of a job for you
Blew his head off with a gun?
Bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre
Bollocks
Bollocks, you don't know Bono
Boys are back in the barracks
Bugger
But my wife's vegetarian
Call her a fat cow then hang up
Camp hello Alan
Can I have a sniff?
Can we talk about me
Can you make pornography come on my telly please.
Cashback
Catch the train to London, stopping at rejection, disappointment, backstabbing central, and shattered dreams parkway
Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here
Chinese Way, Level 42
Clean license
Cock a doodle who
Cock a doodle who
Conman
Cooking in prison
Crab sticks do not actually contain any crab
Dan
Dan
Dan
Dan
Dan
Danny Francetti's Jazz Box
Deepphunkyclav
Did he leave a message?
Do you deny that
Do you do that with your boyfriend?
Do you er
Do you like me doing that
Do you like me doing that?
Do you like mini kievs?
Do you like my cones?
Do you like owls?
Do you mind if I bring my guitar?
Do you mind if I talk?
Do you really?
Do you see upset zombies
Doesn't matter, she can have fish
Dosser and dwad
Dunno what you're talking about
Eeeeeey Lynn
Email of the evening
Er, there's a market...
Establishedthat
Fascinating creatures though
Fat spotty behind in a dead man's chair
Fayresonfire
Few too many blacks
Film extravaganza
Fingerprint a sausage
First class
Flying AIDS
Footballpie
Footlikeatractionengine
Forget it
Four British Isles breakfasts
Frank Sinatra
Funny stories
Gadzooks
Get rid of it
Gill sleeping with me
Gland
Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged, or not appreciated
Goal
Gonnahumpya
Good onion idea
Ha ha ha, unbelieveable
Haha oh no haha
Has this kitchen been distressed?
Have I got a pierced navel?
Have you ever been to the Far East, Michael?
He didn't create Adam and Steve
He got scared and ran away
He is not Bono #bono
He was in the army and I think he saw people being blown up
Hello Alan, didn't know you'd moved in
Hello chris are you dead
Hello partridge
Hello, Dante Fires, just through there. Oooo you're going to have a good time
Hello, have you got a brain or is your head just full of s...
Hello, I've just swallowed a load of anthrax, and I'd like to let off like mad in the club bar. Can I come in?
Hello, is that Currys?
Hello?
Hello??
Helloooo
Hidethesteak
Hitcustomers
Hittheroad
Hot topic
Hot topic short
How do you, can I...
How old are you?
Hrgggh, sex
Huuueee
I ate a scotch egg
I believe we've established that #already established that
I can't breathe, I can't breathe
I can't talk, I've got a fat back
I didn't quite kill him, that was the tragedy, I had to go back and kill him with a jack
I didn't want to be sick in the road
I don't find them attractive, it's just confusing
I dont find attractive
I got really drunk last night, I was sick everywhere
I have popped out again
I know you're a DJ, but I've heard your show
I like your thong
I love 'em
I love you, in a way
I saw the Golden Temple man, beautiful it was
I think it's the best idea in the world
I think that's a great idea
I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I'm slightly constipated
I was drunk
I was in the army when I was 1
I wasn't trying to steal a traffic cone
I'd love to
I'd love to have it off with her
I'll be honest, I'm dead against it
I'll be honest, I'm pretty curious
I'll get him later
I'll have a pint of bitter!
I'll level with you, I'm really scared
I'm 43 you cheeky git!
I'm afraid I have no sheaths
I'm going to go home and just probably go straight to bed, and keep out of trouble
I'm having a barbeque, fancy coming over?
I'm joined by Alice, who's not going to shrink me into a little bottle, she's going to tell me about Hamleton's Holiday Breaks
I'm leaving you, you cow!
I've got a broad taste, from the Brit pop bands like UB40, Def Leppard, right back to classic rock like Wings
I've got a girlfriend
I've seen some terrible things mind
Idiot
If they had themselves proper jobs..
Ignorant and offensive
Im confused
In fact, I think I'll go
In my underpants
Inner city sumo
Intercourse
It's a buildup of fatty deposits just above the belt line
It's brilliant
It's er, it's mine
It's hotter than the sun
It's hotter than the sun
It's surprising really, considering the circumstances
Jackanack
Japan
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park!
Jurassic Park! [Laughter]
Just the one, from Bill Oddie
King Road
Kiss my face2
Kissing me or cock
Knowing M.E., Knowing You
Kommen sie bitte, und listen to Kraftwek
Kurt Cobain
Lady shapes
Lager gt baileys
Laughter
Leaving you mashup
Let me put that in context for you
Let's forget about all this
Let's get back to cock a doodle who
Letsstartwithsomepetting
Listen to this, it'll blow your socks off
Look at that, not even listening
Looks like a lady, but really it's a man
Looks like lady really man
Love asylum
Lovely stuff from youtube
Lynn I've pierced my foot on a spike!
Lynn, I'm not driving a Mini Metro
Lynn, some of these people have come from Stoke
Lynn, you couldn't present a cat
Maddest
Massacre, ew, not playing that again
Mentalist
Millenium barndance
Monkey tennis
Monkey tennis?
Moo
Morning Mr Partridge
Mousse from a bowl
Movingrabbitclassic
My girlfriend's 33, I'm 47, she's 14 years younger than me
Nirvana
No
No
No way you big...
No you cant
No, he never does
No, she sounds weird
No, she won't eat that either
No, stay, don't go
Norfolk nights
Not my face, I'm doing a photo shoot for Vision Express
Oh about, sorry
Oh forget it
Oh God yeah yeah
Oh ha ha ha ha ha
Oh I like this, yes
Oh that's lovely
Oh you ignorant...
Oh, there you go, it's all happening
OK
OK, there will be no telephone Cluedo today
Only Manila, Hong Kong and Bangkok like
Ooh I would like to kiss her
Ooh mince
Ooh scary irishmen
Partridge
Partridge amongst the pigeons
Peephole pringle
People in wheelchairs fixed
Peoplefromstoke
Phrophylaptics, you know, rubber jonnies
Piercedmyfoot
Ping
Pint
Poshsod
Pretty much, yeah
Properly policed, it must not turn into an all night rave
Pubsopen
R E O Speed Wagon
Read a book, relax, look at the scenery
Right, well I'm afraid Susan, I've got some very bad news
Right, you book alone?
Rogerwithsonja fixed
Rolled on the thighs of a virgin
Ruddy hell its soft cell
Satonthebastard
Scum, sub human scum
Setfiretoyourhands
Sexfestival
Sexual intercourse or heavy kissing
Shall I er, move on to the other one?
She was certainly first in the queue when God was handing out chests
She was first in queue
Shit
Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse
Smell my cheese
So er, so thanks!
So er, who's your favourite singer then?
Sod off
Someone should have told him
Something all over my whatever
Sorry, bit of a joke there, it backfired
Sorry, thank you love
Spiceworld
Strange questions
Striker
Suck my suchandsuch
Suddenly appear
Suecook
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Superb
Supertalk ginsters
Susansmeltdown
Swallow
Sweatinglunatic
Talking out of his arse
Tell me about ladyboys
Tell me about the Ladyboys
Ten
Terribly rude
Thank you
That and killing
That is superb
That was just a noise
That's bollocks but go on
That's first class
Thatwentquitewell
The Black Death was very much the HIV of its day
The devil can take many forms
The police sting
The pot smoking, whore ridden waterways of Amsterdam.
The Queen is dead
The Queen is not dead
There's more to Ireland dan dis
There's nee porn on it
These are sex people
They're disgusting, I kept away from them
Think about out out
Third time
This is a romantic tribute
This is great banter
This plague was airborne
This will put norwich on the map
Time to run yourself a big bath. It's Chris Rea
Time wasting until the news
To an innocent bystander, it could, may look like traffic cone theft
To me it looks like traffic cone theft
Tongue, who eats tongue for goodness sake? Imagine a tongue sticking out a sesame seed cob
Tony Hayers is dead
Touch my this
Tough one
Traffic rage
Twat liquidfootball
Two handfuls of sausage meat please
Uh
Uh, Nottingham?
Um
Um
Um, so what did you see in Bangkok?
Understand Geordie people
Unfortunately, some vandals have sworn all over my car again
Up With The Partridge Theme Tune
Valentines day
Vandals Mr Partridge, makes me wonder what it's all aboot
Very reliable got tache
Well no I won't be on in the morning because I'm doing lates, I won't come on until about 2 o'clock
Well there you go, they taught you a trade
Were you going to say I was nearly 50 Lynn?
What do you do on a boat alone?
What do you want to do?
What does that say to you about regional detective series?
What is it all about?
What is the big idea
What like three men burning in a tank?
What?
When the boat comes in
Which is French for water
Which is the worst monger, fish, iron, rumour or war?
Who do you think you are?
Who invented skip
Who invented the skip?
Who is the best Lord?
Who smiles at a black and decker workmate
Who's he?
Why do birds?
Why do, why do
Why, were they not very good?
Why?
Willyougooutwithme
Would you go out with me if I was younger and more attractive?
Would you like a cuban cigar?
Yachting mishaps
Yeah, just moved in
Yeah, so do I
Yes I think I probably would
Yes please
Yes, it's an extender
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes. Ah!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! That was a goal.
You are so dirty
You blonde bastard
You blonde bastard, from the future
You can stop giggling or I'll take down your particulars
You cant again
You couldn't present a cat
You do know who I am?
You don't want to see me in my underpants
You ignorant s...
You lay them you chicken
You people
You regularly book, don't you?
You Wanker! #partridge you wanker #wanker #alan partridge #alan infuriates the farmers
You, look at you, do you go round drawing peep hole bras on the wall?
You're not in the army anymore
Youth hostelling
Youth hostelling with Chris Eubank
1,230 to 12
7 on 10, let's make love
10 past 5
