Never Have I Ever (2020) - Season 2 Edit

A "B." Did Devi have a bad day?

A Absolutely. Your mom and I are colleagues. That's it.

A bird got caught in our chimney this morning. That was wild!

A bunch of us were thinking about going to an L Word trivia night tomorrow.

A couple of guys in the rotashe.

A few weeks ago, Devi had a party

A friendly telemarketer who was trying to sell knives. [laughs]

A lot of people turn their noses up to a blend,

A lot of progress.

A mock trial of what? We already know that George Wilson killed Gatsby.

A non alcoholic drink. Be right back.

A private jet.

A scientific rock star like Dr. Peters needs to return to work.

A shirt with actual buttons.

A splash of pageantry.

A vibrant immigrant community was springing up

A voicemail!

About how he's not into labels or PDA.

About how we all swallow at least 20 spiders while we sleep.

About one event in the great American saga

Absolutely not. I don't do either of those things.

According to my Titan, five to seven seconds.

According to the powers that be,

Actually, I didn't mean to interrupt you,

Actually, Sasha,

After everyone realized that the dance

After high school, I'm going straight to YouTube.

After school today, you're having salads with the cool vegans,

After we saw her insane plant collection,

After what you told me about him.

After you took her to Malibu, she wanted to choose you,

Agh! Too bad we're on the same team, because I'd kick your ass on this course.

Ah ha. Well, let's see.

Ah, hello, kanna, perfect timing.

Aiyyo! Adda katavule! Do you know what this means?

Aiyyo! Cari. I will eat before I go. I will eat before I go.

All I know is that this is the event we need to go to,

All I see are immature children who can't be happy for their friend.

All right, babe. I gotta dip.

All right, cool. We'll work as a group.

All right, I should go.

All right, I'm here. Let's flip some cups!

All right, it's time for the spotlight dance.

All right, let's do this. Let's blow the roof off this mother!

All right, who coined the term Cold War in the British press in October 1945?

All right, yes.

All right, you guys are going down.

All right! Tat me up, brother!

All right! Uh, I think we're done here.

All right? I really do.

All right? Really, I do,

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Daisy drove the car that killed Myrtle.

All right. Everybody, come on. Back to work.

All right. Let's get back to Aneesa. You remember who you heard the rumor from?

All right. Okay.

All right. See you guys later.

All right. Think. Think.

All right. This doesn't have to be weird. We can be study buddies.

All right. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Vishwakumar.

All right. Wouldn't miss it.

All righty. Everybody partner up.

All you have to do is review them over for three days straight.

Also, he said to say hi to you, Kamala.

Also, I heard he bought his abs in Mexico.

Also, my hearing aids have been specifically tuned to eavesdrop.

Also, tell your cousin I said hi.

Also, what would Mohan think?

Also, you still kinda owe me.

Although most of the chaperones,

Amen, bitch. Oh.

Amen. So, Paxton, Ojichan called.

America was Mohan's dream, not mine.

Amma, how is going to a wedding more important than finding a roof

Among… other helpful things.

An AVN award? For MILF performer of the year.

And a former 16 year old from California, Gigi Hadid.

And a tattoo for me.

And actually, I have a surprise for you. I'm moving to LA.

And actually, it looks… it looks nice on you, Devi.

And all I saw was this 60 year old Southern white lady on the stage.

And all of Eve's queer friends.

And allowed Mr. Gatsby to take the blame for it,

And apparently, neither was Tuesday or Wednesday.

And are therefore furthering the agenda of toxic masculinity.

And are you getting that from them?

And as the day wore on, he wasn't the only one.

And as you can see here, were a little Jesus y,

And attach it to systemic racism and sexism.

And because I am one of the last people to still remember Manzanar,

And because I can't read another paper about the symbolism of the green light,

And Ben Gross had a prime time 9:00 p.m. slot.

And Ben went to Space Camp, so he knows all about gravity.

And besides, I'm moving to India.

And besides, this is an open field surrounded by parents and teachers.

And bitched me out in front of my entire family,

And can't be extradited for my crimes.

And climbing onto that man's roof, and spying on them through the skylights.

And complimented my Cara Delevingne brows.

And decided to listen to something soothing that could calm her down.

And defending their property in general.

And Devi should have known what it was.

And Devi would be free to make some apology magic.

And did you just remember what Sputnik was?

And didn't want to mess that up.

And do we like Malcolm?

And don't you try to play the race card.

And due to the severity of your injury,

And each one had so much going for them.

And even though he never knew she existed…

And even though you were an American citizen by birth,

And even worse, Devi had lost her dad's voicemails… forever.

And everybody forgets about me.

And everything she did to Aneesa was because she was jealous,

And Fabiola's dad was Cricket King.

And facts,

And feel my hand. See how cold it is?

And flip cup in the garage for Paxton 'cause he loves the garage.

And for the record, I may be a football player,

And get asked on a date by Paxton?

And get bullied by your ancient eyebrow threading lady.

And give you a speech about how girls dress like boys.

And go to…

And had a dope mansion and shit. [laughs]

And has figured out her eyebrow shape."

And have her say, "Well, how hungry are you?"

And he drives a Maybach. It would be ostentatious on anyone else,

And he told them he heard the rumor from supercouple Drewzanna,

And he used the adverb "well" instead of the adjective "good."

And he's also a widower. Can you believe it?

And he's raising a son on his own.

And he's trying to make a speech, so I better get over there. [laughing]

And her dad's voicemail had been lost to Jacuzzi water,

And here is a Spanish take home quiz on parts of the body.

And honestly, anyone's better than Shira.

And honestly, I have to get out of the house.

And honestly, me too.

And how I shouldn't keep all my money hidden in the soil of my plants.

And how nice it could be.

And I already love you so much.

And I already picked out my fit for Daisy.

And I am model, designer, activist,

And I assume you can't help me find a space for my medical practice either.

And I do have a very busy day, especially trying to figure out

And I do not know what to do because I truly do not understand her.

And I don't eat one crumb of brownie because I'm straight up anorexic! Okay?

And I don't know how to use hip phrases like "what's the tea?"

And I don't know if you know this, but Ben and I have a past.

And I don't think he ever recovered from that.

And I don't want my mom to flip out that I rode with you.

And I don't want to cheat my way into college,

And I have something special in mind for dessert…

And I just couldn't stop.

And I just say yes.

And I knocked over a bunch of your samples,

And I know you think you got two boyfriends,

And I made this serving dish for your art class.

And I stupidly suggested we do it last night to surprise you.

And I think labels are just kinda cheesy, you know?

And I want her to be my friend again.

And I was in a really emotionally volatile place.

And I would never have existed.

And I would never start a rumor that misogynistic.

And I… I have to believe that the reason Devi did that

And I'd also love to see you climb out of that pool.

And I'll tell you who's dead.

And I'm also really sorry about Paxton, Devi.

And I'm in charge of playing to the court's emotions?

And I'm sending it to all my co authors tonight

And I'm so glad I met you guys.

And I'm so impressed.

And I've been told I have a very disagreeable personality.

And I've learned a lot of really cool moves from Zumba.

And if I don't get her to stay at Sherman Oaks,

And if I were a guy, you'd be high fiving me right now?

And if she notices the hole, I'll just say I got hit by a dart.

And if they do, I'll pretend I have dementia and babble in Tamil.

And if you could give her the idea

And if you don't mind, please take off your shoes.

And if you stay…

And if you take my name off it, I will

And in his hand, lentils. [scoffs]

And invite the popular kids to get in their bikinis, okay?

And is that your mom in there? With a guy?

And it may sound silly, but it really meant a lot

And it sucks because I know he's right about all of it too.

And it'll give you what you most desperately want.

And it's kinda nice that we save that stuff for when we're in private.

And it's less boring with you.

And it's not like innocent people were taking the fall.

And it's only because, well…

And just imagine,

And just to remind you, this is, like, historic.

And Kamala's been working at her lab until 3:00 every night,

And kiss up to her family.

And later that same week, the Men's Singles title.

And let me sit in his lap while we share a chicken sandwich.

And like, I should be taking relationship advice from you anyway?

And make sure she never comes back, we'd really appreciate it.

And maybe we're here to also tell you that Malcolm might be cheating on you.

And my name was left off of it.

And my name's not on it.

And my son asks me for something I can't even wrap my mind around.

And Nalini was making sure that a week off of school

And never showed up, so you gotta help me now.

And no one seemed to care that I didn't have anything to say.

And not with your aunt hovering in the back trying to eavesdrop.

And not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

And nothing was going to stand in her way

And noticed a few things she hadn't seen before.

And now because of you, I lost the only memory of my dad's voice!

And now I gotta see her every Wednesday.

And now my mom thinks I am after I stalked her,

And now the robotics team hates me, and Gears is a creep.

And now you smell like wet cast. You've lost your edge, man.

And now, she was walking away from an almost relationship.

And now, who knows? Maybe we can date.

And our time here is up, and I have failed once again.

And Paxton's so hot,

And pay for someone else to raise you?

And people need to know what other people are saying about them.

And proximity makes the heart want to barf,

And reinforces the gender binary.

And right now, she needed a friend,

And risked his life to help her say goodbye to her dad,

And secondly,

And she bullied a girl so badly in school that that girl is now leaving school,

And she could go back to obsessing about other things, like

And she could use a little support right now.

And she is the reason that you have everything you have,

And she said now that swimming's on the back burner

And she was happy going back to being the one and only nerdy Indian girl

And she would need to have a word with the judge.

And she'd be off the hook quicker than you can say "witness tampering."

And she's an out and proud asexual, so it's far from romantic.

And she's not texting me back.

And since Zoomers rarely call anyone on the phone,

And so I just wanted to say thank you for being my team.

And so, if Ruthie had not lost her leg in that trolley car accident,

And some laws are worth breaking to support the community, you know?

And someone was too cheap to pay for the cloud.

And sorry if I was tough on you in the beginning.

And speaking as a world class athlete,

And still got thrashed by the kid you cheated on me with.

And stuck it in her butt.

And tells her she can't wear her favorite leg warmers?

And thank God she did! How dare you leave the house in the night

And thanks to you, we've raised enough money

And that guy fell off the roof?

And that jerk has made you play the kidnapped daughter

And that the Cold War ended in 1991.

And that's not an excuse, Noor,

And that's okay, because I can help you through it.

And the answer is the iconic anti hero of Killing Eve

And the names of dead white men.

And the only thing I love besides my family, friends, and you, are robots.

And the other thing.

And the reason why Mr. Gatsby is not.

And the society in which Daisy existed gave her no choice but to reject Gatsby,

And the winters were bitterly cold

And then a game was on, and Trent came over,

And then I got hungry, so I ordered some Chinese food,

And then ruined my swimming career? The whole school would think I'm a joke.

And then she remembered the greatest apology her father ever gave.

And then something inside my brain made me feel like

And then there's Ben.

And then tomorrow, the volleyball fundraiser

And then you let two students take the fall for it.

And then, falling into his hot tub with my clothes on.

And there was a bunch of sus texts popping up.

And there was also a decent amount of sweetness.

And thereby, win back Ben,

And therefore, would not have killed him.

And they told way more people.

And think I'm even more pathetic.

And thinks that M&M's are complicit in the corporatization of America.

And this kid's not showing enough respect for the Tree!

And undermine you, and choose the exact moment

And was that a goddamn Beyoncé hair flip? How had Devi been so blind?

And watch Ellen's Game of Games.

And we agreed you were gonna try and schedule around that.

And we all know who your spaghetti dog is.

And we are going to be removing trash from a park in Pacoima,

And we arrived in your stepmom's hatchback.

And we can't wait forever for you to slow eat your matar paneer.

And we do karaoke, and we drink booze Devi, you did not hear that.

And we go to a vulnerable place!

And we got blitzed again.

And we love who you are.

And we scored an invite. Eve's in the car. Come on!

And we've struggled a bit with it. Um…

And well, they can all be yours for no less than $100,000.

And what had it gotten her?

And when you subtract the athlete part, your options tend to narrow.

And when you're old and on your deathbed,

And while she had been manifesting this moment

And who could possibly convince a hard hearted, stubborn Indian woman

And without Devi, I don't know if I can make that happen.

And without Sharon loaning me this unstylish dress

And would he never again show up at her

And would never treat me like I don't belong is probably the

And you don't understand what it's like to be in a passionate relationship

And you have to work for a rude, sexist jerk,

And you haven't made one crack about it. Something's up.

And you know how I feel about the farm core gays.

And you know what next week is gonna be like? Exactly the same.

And you let that boy annoy the hell out of you.

And you messed up huge! Like, crazy huge.

And you pile drived her ass!

And you will cherish it when I'm dead and gone,

And you will pass on the wisdom of the Na'vi to your grandchildren.

And you've never been the kind of person who wanted to be hidden away.

And your office looks like Caesars Palace,

And your pizza smells regular.

And your two timing situation doesn't count.

And, Chris, Nalini is no slouch either.

And, Devi, in what world do you know anything about relationships?

And, uh, during World War II, right here in California,

And, uh, luckily for me, I wasn't just the only brown girl in the group.

And, uh, my condolences?

And…

And… And the nose ring is such a powerful symbol of Indian femininity.

Aneesa asked me to ask you to go to the dance with her.

Aneesa knew what it was like

Aneesa Qureshi?

Aneesa said her mom wouldn't budge on transferring her,

Aneesa said you told her about the rumor.

Aneesa seemed to feel on Devi's turf.

Aneesa, come on!

Aneesa, don't go to another school because you know you're a Cricket in your heart!

Aneesa, let's go play cornhole.

Aneesa, please, introduce yourself.

Aneesa, we want you to stay here at Sherman Oaks High,

Aneesa, you're cool. What should I text back?

Aneesa's changing schools again.

Aneesa's dope, and I basically curb stomped our friendship.

Antyeshti, the last samskara

Any dignity?

Any interest in joining the cross country team?

Anyone else?

Anyone want to sign my cast?

Anything broken? Did you hit your head?

Anyway, as I was saying,

Anyway, I have an enviable client roster,

Anyway, I know a lot of this is my fault, and I'm sorry.

Anyway, I need your help.

Anyway, I think you've earned a little face time with Dr. Peters.

Anyway, if Daisy had not run over Myrtle Wilson

Anyway, she was on a hot streak.

Anyway, we have so much more going on inside.

Anyway, while I had his toothbrush between my butt cheeks,

Anyway, you can give me a call or text or whatever.

Anyway, you know what I find the sexiest? Stability.

Apology accepted.

Apparently, everyone's talking about me. They're saying I have an eating disorder.

Apparently, I need to blush more.

Apparently, they think it's more valuable

Aravind is in US. My daughter is too busy.

Are we calling it a "proposal dinner"?

Are we good?

Are we still mad?

Are we using Devi as a negative verb?

Are you disappointed in me?

Are you embarrassed of me?

Are you for real? You've never heard of King Princess?

Are you hiding up here from my friends?

Are you just head and shoulders?

Are you kissing?

Are you mad at me? That's not my fault.

Are you not as hot as you used to be? Am I the hottest one in the group now?

Are you okay?

Are you serious? Now, you play a fast song?

Are you sure I shouldn't take you to, like, a hospital? Or

Are you sure we're allowed to be here?

Are you the only one around here who gets to make these rash decisions?

Are you thinking about doing a solo sesh? Respect.

Are you worried that he's ashamed of you? But he's dated you publicly before.

Aren't you coming to gym?

As a former teen jock myself,

As a multi hyphenate.

As a practicing pacifist, I will not be using a starting gun.

As a woman of this era, all I have is my ability to marry well.

As Devi thought back on that interaction, it looked a little different to her.

As far as I know, pals don't creep through other pal's windows to hook up.

As long as we don't kill each other, I think it could be nice.

As much as he thought he would.

As salamu alaykum.

As she looked at her dad's picture,

As you can see, no one care.

As you know, we have a new student. We need someone to show her around.

As your boyfriend.

Aside from being hyper masculine, my dad's a lawyer, so it's in my blood.

Aside from like this strange girl that lives in this hilare yellow house?

Assume I'm bringing nothing.

At least that's true for me. We'll see what happens with Paxton.

At least, Devi, you won't be the only one going to the dance alone.

At my swim meet?

At the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory that day,

At your age, maybe it's time to be a little less aspirational.

Attention, students, the relay is over.

Auntie, it's my fault. I'm so sorry.

Aw, cool! A condom!

Aw! Well, if you think this looks good,

Aw.

Aw. Look at our girl. She looks so happy.

Awesome. Feel free to write me a lot of prop work. It's my forte.

Awesome. Well, we have that Facing History test on Friday.

Awkward!

Ayyo. Venda, venda, Mami. You really don't have to do that.

Back into the annoying dork he had always been.

Bam! Six girls at my table.

Banter.

Basically everyone, including my parents.

Be right back! Go team! USA!

Be right in.

Because back at home,

Because Ben goes after Eve, and she's finishing up her loop, okay?

Because I feel horrible about what I did to Aneesa,

Because I knew I was good at it.

Because I offered to send him and his friends to Vegas for his birthday.

Because I tweeted, "Harry Styles is my god."

Because I was blitzed at the relay.

Because I was cheating on him with this little dude?

Because I was paranoid she was dating her work friend,

Because of her family drama,

Because of Shira.

Because of that terrible rumor about Aneesa that you…

Because of what Devi did?

Because of you.

Because of your daughter?

Because Principal Grubbs fired the rest of the dance committee.

Because she knew almost nothing of pop culture.

Because she like blew my boy off,

Because the water was diverted to Los Angeles, which created a desert.

Because there wasn't enough oil to go around.

Because they are all off limits.

Because this is the novelization of Avatar.

Because we're two girls?

Because when she chose Tom over him, she stopped his heart.

Because you're with my boring dad.

Begin!

Being gay, you're fine at. You like girls, right?

Ben and Aneesa were probably hooking up,

Ben gets my super brainy side, and Paxton gets my mega horny side.

Ben had broken the law, stolen his Dad's car,

Ben is an obnoxious hobbit who has tortured you for countless years.

Ben was, thankfully, back to talking to her again.

Ben will hate me forever too.

Ben, you can't be a wallflower all night. You have to dance with me!

Ben?

Ben? What are you doing here?

Ben? What are you doing? Get out of here!

Ben's smart, and we talk, mostly argue, for hours,

Benjamin, what is the meaning of this dinnertime hubbub?

Besides a screening room and a

Besides, how can anyone not like you?

Bet!

Between my butt cheeks as a prank.

Between the Soviet Union and several Eastern European countries?

Between the two cell populations

Between two people who are actually dating.

Big mad. He's angry about so much at this point,

Big Winter Dance this Saturday.

Bingo.

Blessings upon your horns. Setseg, the door.

Blood's starting to boil.

Bonds.

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

Bonjour.

Boom, boom, boom. [chuckles]

Boring, but kind of a try hard, right?

Both of you have detention for a month. You're off the dance committee.

Bouches need to be amused!

Brainstorming things we could do when I visit you in a couple of weeks.

BRB.

Break someone's heart.

Bro, what are you doing back here?

Bro! Judge our burping contest?

Bueno. Muchísimas gracias. Adiós.

But a brute security guard is making me circle around.

But a brute security guard is making me circle around.

But a brute security guard is making me circle around.

But a little bit of India is moving in with us.

But a suspension goes on my permanent record!

But about how, when your children say they need you,

But also Ben, right?

But also, he's really sweet to his sister.

But Aneesa's whole thing is that she's chill and easygoing.

But anyway, I promise, I'm a changed woman.

But are they sexual?

But back to the school thing.

But be bigger in heart.

But Ben did do such a heroic thing

But by those standards,

But Devi couldn't be mad that they were a couple now.

But Devi knew this relief was only temporary

But Devi's grandmother wanted to join the fun.

But did we say it? Maybe.

But did you just say that Aneesa is ano?

But don't worry. I'm ready to learn the shit out of this shit.

But Dr. Peters is the LeBron of stem cell research. What happened?

But even with the queer girls,

But even you acknowledge the societal ills that led to Gatsby's death.

But Fab and I talked her out of it. Sorry about that.

But first I actually do have peach cobbler in the oven.

But first, she needed to go there to set things up

But Friday, Eleanor is coming over for a sleepover.

But given her recent track record

But going forward, Sasha will schedule around robotics.

But guess what?

But guys like that will always be threatened by girls like you.

But having Indian friends was awesome.

But he still doesn't respect me.

But he's still a toxic, condescending douchebag!

But hearing his parents excuse him from even trying to go to college

But hey, it's just a rumor, right?

But honestly, I'm psyched that you're my date.

But I already Amazoned a unitard!

But I also value my social life.

But I am gonna need to see you in my classroom like, right now.

But I didn't realize you wanted it to be like a one on one thing.

But I do see your point,

But I do think that I deserve to be on it.

But I don't get involved in the politics of the lab.

But I find that mixing and matching different g**** varietals

But I forgot to put a hole in it for the birds.

But I gotta get back to my super fulfilling life

But I have been trying to take your advice.

But I have to take care of one thing really quick.

But I just can't be that for you.

But I just permanently altered my nose.

But I like to think the Constitution as a living, breathing document.

But I make them really good though. I'm full MasterChef with my air fryer.

But I mean, I… I honestly, was just about to leave.

But I promise you we are a good family. We've just gone through a hard time.

But I promise you, it is over now.

But I saw her working extra hard to get her teammates involved as well.

But I saw you guys go into Trent's tent.

But I want you guys to know

But I was hoping I could discuss something with you first.

But I was wondering if maybe you wanna do something dumb

But I'm also a feminist,

But I'm gonna need time and a half for these sessions.

But I'm not gonna settle for some weird secret thing behind closed doors.

But I'm the robotics team captain. I can't just ditch my guys.

But I'm trying to be better.

But if I'm being honest, I'm not really a PDA guy,

But if you need a little help remembering, I might have something.

But if you really wanted to wow your teachers,

But if you wanna go to college, you're gonna have to work really hard.

But in a chill way.

But isn't it a little messed up for you to act like my mom?

But isn't that like illegal?

But it certainly holds some weight in the court of literature.

But it doesn't mean you're crazy. Look at me.

But it has to be a mistake. I'll get to the bottom of it.

But it means a lot to my mom, so I'm going with it.

But it seemed romantic?

But it was a misunderstanding.

But it wasn't just his arm, and it was all this chick's fault.

But it's an emergency.

But it's not as bad as it sounds.

But it's not very utilitarian.

But it's stealing. Americans are weird about their fruit trees,

But just because you've made some mistakes

But like some smart people still go there.

But listen, I had just been suspended,

But listen, I just want to tell you what a successful relay Devi had.

But looking at all the happy, let's face it, horny couples around her,

But luckily, they had plenty of time,

But maybe she had a point.

But maybe you can try to eat more than one pea at a time, Kamala,

But my computer is full of viruses from my grandmother pirating Indian Idol.

But my sick calf definition begs to differ.

But Nobels are not won alone.

But not if Aneesa keeps grabbing his goddamn pencil.

But not me, right?

But now I remember.

But Paxton had left her a voicemail.

But Paxton has fake ID and can buy us alcohol.

But Principal Grubbs just suspended me. Maybe if you talk to her

But right now, the fear of losing face in front of Devi 2.0

But she is certainly guilty for killing Jay Gatsby,

But she lost her father suddenly, not long ago,

But she truly was the Usain Bolt of cockblocking.

But somehow he drives it with a quiet humility.

But sometimes I'm a little lonely.

But thank you for inviting the entire robotics team to my party.

But that means being honest with you and dunking on you when it's appropriate.

But that meant creating an elaborate scheme

But that's so old fashioned, and honestly,

But that's the kinda sacrifice that Dr. Peters expects from us.

But that's why I have to figure out my boy situation stat!

But the explanation might sound a lot like what Ben said.

But the fact that Devi, the weirdest girl he'd ever liked,

But the real cleansing will be to…

But the ship sailed of me staying at Sherman Oaks.

But the thing about crying in a high school bathroom is,

But then, here we are. Single at our first high school dance,

But there will be a billion cocky nerds like Ben at Princeton.

But there's got to be something we can do.

But they spend too much time in the sun. It cooks their brains.

But they would really bring this family some much needed cheer.

But they'll hand out the Cricket Crowns soon,

But think about how meaningful it'll be for the queer community here when we win.

But this is also a goodbye, because I'm all better now.

But this is straight up humiliating.

But this nerd's playing doubles like a pro.

But this new Devi was trying a more mature approach.

But this new kid was proving that Devi might just be objectively lame.

But to hear her own mother call her crazy?

But tonight was a real date

But we either do this in secret or not at all.

But we've got brains, too, and feelings, and…

But what I'm looking forward to is dessert.

But what if I hurt Ben?

But what if they both try to ride in the ambulance with you?

But when I see my grandson stepping out of his comfort zone,

But when I'm with my friends, I'm a total Lisa.

But when it comes out of that beautiful mouth,

But when my wife moved out, everyone wanted to talk to me about it.

But when she got to chemistry,

But when they made him a prisoner, they stole his dignity,

But when we are available, count us in.

But without the severe bangs.

But yeah, I'll give him a call. Thanks, Dad.

But yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Deal.

But you are out of my lab today.

But you call the shots, so… All right.

But you have been duped for the purpose of hijinks.

But you should probably have a meal with her.

But you trashed my chances at a swimming scholarship.

But you'll need to significantly improve your GPA.

But you'll probably be snatched up by then.

But you're my favorite cousin.

But you're no longer captain of the robotics team.

But you're not dating Paxton, right?

But Zoe and Shira just got kicked off the dance committee,

But, Aneesa,

But, Aneesa, that is such a… unique name.

But, can I get you a drink?

But, honey, to be honest,

But, I mean, once I hit the water, it went away

But, in an attempt to go above and beyond,

But, it also means that you're gonna live a life

But, Paxton, the only opinion of you that truly matters is yourself.

But, um…

But…

By just shifting her mindset, she had turned Ben from a dreamboat

By the only other Indian girl in school.

Bye bye.

Bye! Thank you!

California has taken another son from me.

Call you later?

Can come out in surprising ways.

Can I bring anything? Snacks, soda, MDMA?

Can I do it tomorrow? I'm out to dinner with my boyfriend.

Can I get you something to drink or anything?

Can I give you some non yelling advice?

Can I not be roasted by India's Last Comic Standing, please?

Can I please get you a towel?

Can I talk to you in private?

Can we choose two answers for a question, or do we have to commit to just one?

Can yield some pretty fun surprises.

Can't believe I didn't see what a tool he was.

Can't wait.

Can't you at least try and make it more interesting?

Can't you just make pizza rolls or something?

Cancel David Chang. We're scrapping the adult soiree.

Certainly much more than being totally forgotten.

Chatty as ever, Fabiola.

Check this out.

Checking Paxton's voicemail led her to find another one

Checks out. She's legit.

Chris, I do not think this is going to work out.

Chris, we got your mail accidentally again.

Chris! Of course!

Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Coach Noble has agreed to bump up your grade if you participate

Come downstairs. I need to put you on antibiotics.

Come on, Fab.

Come on, kid, just write "North."

Come on, this is crazy!

Come on!

Come on.

Come. Now, let's go wake up Gokul.

Complaining about another co worker?

Consider your PE grade changed to an "A."

Cool, so I'll see you Friday?

Cool! Yeah, I used to be a Girl Scout, so I have like hella badges at home.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Cool. Then you should be really good at it, huh?

Cool. You can just leave it right there.

Could I offer you a soda, or a water, or a hot tea?

Cousin Kamala. Hey, welcome back.

Cousins, friends, neighbors.

Covalent bonds.

Cow's milk runs right through him.

Cricket Queen and Queen.

Dad, uh, never wanted to talk about it growing up.

Dad? You're in my room?

Daisy Buchanan may not have fired the gun,

Daisy Buchanan, should also be tried for the murder of Jay Gatsby.

Daisy Buchanan, you are guilty of the murder of Jay Gatsby.

Damn it!

Damn it! [grunts]

Damn it! Why do I always blurt out all of my most personal secrets?

Damn it. Could you just come in and say, "Hello, Mr. Kulkarni"?

Damn, Crazy Devi, you made me 'splode myself.

Damn, Devi. You're gonna make me say it?

Damn, Fab, are you wearing a leather jacket?

Damn, I forgot they were both gonna be here!

Damn!

Damn! Excellent work, Miss Torres.

Damn! I'm pissed!

Damn! Two boyfriends? My parents won't even let me have one.

Damn. Indian people love Trader Joe's.

DARBEEF, as in, "Dar, who beefed?" Isn't that helpful?

Darling granddaughter. We shall have so much fun.

Dating Paxton?

David, use your brain.

Deal, but just don't slow me down.

Defense, it's time for your witnesses.

Defense, you may start.

Defense, your opening remarks?

Defense.

Definitely. Hey, why don't we get a drink? We can catch up.

Demi Lovato said the same thing.

Derm magazine! I've been waiting on this issue.

Devi couldn't imagine feeling any lower.

Devi couldn't stop thinking about what she'd done to Aneesa.

Devi felt ashamed of herself for feeling so threatened before.

Devi felt her rage turn to shame.

Devi had done her best to be a selfless, emotionally mature friend to all,

Devi had forgotten to write a report on her family trauma.

Devi had never seen one of her friends

Devi had to do something she had never done before in her life,

Devi had to follow through on her date with Paxton.

Devi had to get back quickly before anything else could happen,

Devi had totally forgotten

Devi just wanted to decolonize her nose,

Devi knew there was much worse waiting for her at school.

Devi knew what she had to do vis à vis Paxton.

Devi might've been the worst runner I've ever seen,

Devi not so much.

Devi still hoped it might bring her closer to Ben.

Devi Vishwakumar here,

Devi Vishwakumar is coming to town!

Devi was asked to leave… her school,

Devi was feeling a little lighter.

Devi was hoping to hide out in the ladies' room

Devi was so confused because at night, things were kinda steamy.

Devi,

Devi, Aneesa just told me that you're the one who started the rumor.

Devi, Aneesa.

Devi, calm down! I am not dating this man!

Devi, come in here!

Devi, don't jump to conclusions.

Devi, door stays open.

Devi, here you are. [chuckles]

Devi, I think, for your own good,

Devi, I worry that the stress of this move

Devi, I'm all in.

Devi, in our field,

Devi, it's not a rumor.

Devi, regardless of what happens between you and Ben,

Devi, sweetheart, why don't you take Aneesa up to your room?

Devi, that's their family business. I don't want to meddle in it.

Devi, there you are. May I talk to you for a moment?

Devi, we don't apologize to get something in return.

Devi, we're gonna miss you so much.

Devi, what am I gonna do with you?

Devi, what are you doing here?

Devi, what are you doing?

Devi, what the hell? What are you doing back here?

Devi, you feel a lot,

Devi, you followed him.

Devi, you need to make things right.

Devi, you're holding that pen like a knife again.

Devi, you're up next.

Devi, your presentation.

Devi!

Devi!

Devi!

Devi! Devi, are you okay?

Devi?

Devi?

Devi.

Devi's chances of being asked to the dance were looking kinda slim.

Devi's going away party is an elegant occasion.

Devi's helping me track down the D bag who started the rumor about me.

Did anything interesting happen at work, with anyone interesting?

Did Fabiola tell you? I hung a rainbow flag on our porch.

Did hell freeze over in the last hour?

Did I say that out loud?

Did not feel like a holiday.

Did the loop feel short to you? I didn't even get my heart rate up.

Did you always have this many plants?

Did you come to the dance for me?

Did you have a friend over? I thought we said no friends.

Did you hear that?

Did you just ask Ben to the dance?

Did you just smell me?

Did you just tell a satellite to suck a dick?

Did you know that zebras stand in a herd to create an optical illusion

Did you not hear me? She has a boyfriend!

Did you not notice you left with an empty backpack this morning?

Did you pick up any sodas? My friends are coming over tonight.

Did you start the rumor about Aneesa being anorexic?

Did you tell her he's your ex?

Didn't mean to sneak up on you.

Dinner? At your house? Y You and me?

Do both these boys know they're in open relationships?

Do we know anyone there that we should warn?

Do you feel guilty about what you did to Aneesa?

Do you have your own laser pants or will you be renting?

Do you know how many staph infections I treat coming out of this place? Hmm?

Do you know what they're doing right now while I work?

Do you need water?

Do you not want me to meet her? Are you embarrassed of me?

Do you think I'm crazy?

Do you think I'm too stupid to go to college?

Do you understand me?

Do you want me to ask follow up questions? Or do you want to anger eat that apple?

Do you want me to have an Indian friend or not?

Do you want to go with me to the Dan Stevens book signing?"

Do you work at the Apple Store? 'Cause you're a frigging Genius!

Does the idea of same sex dance royalty make you uncomfy?

Does your mom also constantly compare you to your weird cousins?

Doesn't matter.

Doesn't mean you deserve to settle for less.

Doesn't mean you have to take a flaming dump all over mine.

Don't be a Devi Downer. You're gonna be legendary.

Don't be so sad, Ma.

Don't have access to drugs, but I do have access to some highly addictive snacks.

Don't knock my homemade pizza if you want a favor from me.

Don't let this voicemail get your hopes up.

Don't lie.

Don't make fun. He's my art.

Don't mind me. I'm just here to listen.

Don't worry, Miss Dubs. I'm all over it.

Don't worry. Everyone's so consumed with their own stuff

Don't worry. My stand in, Jerry, owns this spot and he never cards anyone.

Don't you have a sister in Australia?

Don't you see? We need more zebras.

Doubles partners Bob and Mike Bryan, incapable of doing anything on their own?

Dr. Chris Jackson.

Dr. Jackson, what an unexpected displeasure.

Dr. Jackson.

Dr. Jackson. He put me on his mailing list.

Dr. Ryan…

Dress up like a giant insect and do a mediocre dance routine.

Driving me all the way to Malibu to spread my dad's ashes.

Dude, how's it going with your two paramours?

Dude, I'm not even bummed that I lost because your closing argument was sick!

Dude, shut up!

Dude, thank you for talking my mom down. How did you know how to do that?

Dude, that's a surprising reaction.

Dude, you've missed eight robotics practices?

Dude! To hide from you because you were making us run!

Dwayne Johnson.

Eating together? At the same table?

Ed, Grace, Wei, David, Lee, Ann.

Eh, who needs college?

El, he may not be cheating,

Eleanor, I think we should go too.

Eleanor, I'm a dental hygienist.

Eleanor, is everything okay?

Eleanor.

Eleanor…

Eric paid him 20 bucks to only play slow songs for him and Rosalia.

Eric, give those hats back.

Especially you, Devi.

Evan just sent the paper to all the co authors.

Evan sent out the first draft of the paper last night,

Evan, I got you your usual pumpkin spice latte

Evan, let me be clear.

Eve Hjelm and Fabiola Torres!

Eve? The Eve?

Even if I can't swim there.

Even if I could go to school, I bet she wouldn't wanna talk to me.

Even if you wanna come over to my house and just cry, I am here for you. Okay?

Even in Devi's wildest hormone driven fantasies,

Even though Gatsby threw, like, sick parties for her,

Even though her boobs are

Even though she felt guilty about Ben,

Even though that nimrod used all my research for it.

Ever since Devi came into Paxton's life,

Ever since my mom left, it's been like a constant stream of,

Ever since their steamy kiss in his car,

Every five minutes since I landed.

Every time that PTA woman is nearby, you start acting weird as hell.

Everybody, we have a new transfer student.

Everyone thinks Asian women will take all kinds of crap,

Everyone was right.

Everyone was right. You are crazy, Devi.

Everyone's like, "Oh my God, she's so cool!"

Everything looks amazing.

Ew, she can't.

Ew! Who the F is Isabella?

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. Should we go eat our chalupas?

Excellent.

Except for Facing History, which is a sexual dead zone.

Except, it was longer and less funny.

Excuse me. Did you say you're dating Paxton?

Fab, Fab, Fab, Fab. There you are.

Fab, I never thought I would say this,

Fab, robotics can wait. We already got rid of your dork clothes.

Fab, the dance committee has set up their table. You ready?

Fab, your mom's so cool.

Fab! That was very unhelpful and gross!

Fab. Haven't seen you for the whole relay. Where've you been hiding?

Fabiola, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met.

Fabiola, you've turned into an Eve clone.

Fabiola?

Facialists don't belong in medical doctors' offices.

Fair enough.

Ferrero Rocher pyramid! How elegant!

Finally, all her studying was paying off.

Finally, all that messiness with Aneesa was solved,

Fine, but you can tutor him from further away, right? Move!

Fine, I'll try it.

Fine.

Fine. [sighs]

Fine. My boss didn't credit me on our lab's paper,

Fine. Okay. I… I will take you on a real date.

First days are always weird.

First of all, Gokul will not be helpful because he is currently asleep.

First of all, how do you know those cars were for my office?

First of all, Zoe and I are so happy to be back on the dance committee,

First off, are your parents extremely wealthy?

First rule of being an honors student, learn to manipulate your teachers.

First, he had called her "pal."

Followed by a kombucha with the less cool vegans,

For a bunch of nerdy scientists who barely talked to me.

For accusing you of dating him, but I found you full on Frenching him.

For as long as Devi has, you'll take what you can get.

For having a secret romance with Dr. Jackson,

For Indian people, that's the Rolex of confection gift boxes!

For it's not Daisy's fault that Gatsby is dead.

For me and your granddaughter? Thanks, ma.

For real, just looking at you,

For real? What position?

For someone who has Cookie Monster's turd around her neck.

For someone you, uh…

For sure. For sure.

For sure. For sure. I am obviously apologizing

For the rest of our lives.

For the way I acted the last time I saw you.

For their 9:00 p.m. hookup sesh.

For you to know about things like dates,

For young men to be vulnerable,

For your accomplishments here.

Forget it. Can we get In N Out on the way home?

From a guy who looks like he gets his hair cut by a children's barber.

From a guy who looks like he still gets his hair cut by a children's barber.

From now on, I will always show up, I promise.

From now on, I'm as chill as a Slurpee, bro.

From offering a more creative bit of extra credit.

From school.

From the endoplasmic reticulum?

From the text chain? Remember? "Sup, LOL"?

Full disclosure. I've actually met William.

Gave Devi a glimmer of hope.

Genuinely, it was like no big deal, but like I had the best time at the Mouse.

Get off the couch!

Get out of this car!

Get over yourself, Devi, as if you could hurt me.

Get this. I'm gonna react to reaction videos.

Get up. Let's go. I want to talk to your teacher.

Get your spy glasses on because today we'll be learning about…

Girl, I think you got zero.

Girls, I'm not gonna say I think you're better than this because well…

Give me a couple extra detentions, and we'll call it even.

Give me some freaking credit, Mr. K.

Give me something!

Go over here.

Go, go, go! Flip! Flip, flip!

Go.

God, he's sexy.

Going to Princeton, dating a guy in a band.

Good afternoon, Paxton. Thank you for meeting with me.

Good at their job.

Good memory.

Good morning, Ben. Good morning, Paxton.

Good morning, Dr. Jackson.

Good morning, Dr. Vishwakumar. Where are you coming from?

Good point. Devi, you're Daisy.

Good, because they're already here.

Good! Just crushed flip cup with Ben, grabbing some water for Paxton.

Goodbye, sweet Eleanor. Thanks for being my best supporting actress tonight.

Goodbye.

Gorgeous! Devi, what about you?

Gotta run, so I will see you later.

GQ says that it's the go to beverage for the international business set.

Grab a seat, Lil' D.

Great work.

Great, I hope she does. It's my favorite Christmas movie.

Great! Because I took the liberty of setting you up

Great! Let's go to the woods.

Great.

Great. Thank you, sir.

Greet her family the way her family wanted to be greeted.

Guess that would've been more decisive and confident.

Guess that's why you didn't seem too upset about Dad's death!

Guess what? Due to my negotiating savvy,

Guess what? Sasha got us tickets to King Princess next month.

Guys, am I doing something wrong?

Guys, go. Say hi to the newbie, Kamaa la.

Guys, how can you be so sure?

Guys, I need to tell you something.

Guys, this is Aneesa.

Guys, this is Aneesa. She's new. This is Ben. This is Malcolm.

Guys, who cares? I have bigger news. Paxton kissed me in the park.

Had taken a romantic turn.

Has a good basketball team, the classes aren't too hard,

Has suffered a crushing blow.

Has the cramp gone?

Has two boys that are into her?

Have a good time tonight. Bye bye.

Have a great day, ladies.

Have people ask you where you were "really from,"

Have some real low expectations for their kid.

Have you guys ever thought that maybe I want to go to college?

Have you seen my phone? Have you seen my phone?

He added eggplants on his text votes for American Idol.

He also mended the friendship between the three of us.

He basically counts as a celebrity hall pass,

He had never been hotter.

He knows my scalp better than anyone, and I get free candy.

He left. [laughs]

He made his license plate "GRAMPAX."

He mostly looked at his shoes, and the vocabulary was limited,

He says he became a socialist in college, and Vegas steals from the working poor.

He stopped wearing deodorant after he heard Leo DiCaps doesn't.

He took the fat out of Ben's mom's double chin

He wants tutoring?

He was a proud man.

He was left under a roof leak and started to spark so much

He was so stressed, he developed a little rash.

He was telling a story about dancing with Elizabeth Windsor before she became queen.

He went to elementary school with us, before he got on some Disney Channel show.

He'd already been courted by some pretty dope schools

He'd been icing her out.

He's a 16 year old boy from Sherman Oaks, California,

He's a good man who would never leave you like your mom did.

He's all yours.

He's already hired David Chang to make appetizers.

He's basically famous, and I'm…

He's basically the LeBron of stem cell research.

He's been really supportive through all this.

He's busy, so you're mostly gonna be dealing with me.

He's going to propose.

He's got a million ways to put "mom" on your arm.

He's not, like, great at decision making.

He's the reason I went to Caltech.

Hear what?

Heard what you pulled off with Aneesa's mom.

Hell, yeah! Suck it, science!

Hell, yes, I do!

Hello, Auntie.

Hello, Dr. Jackson.

Hello, Dr. Vishwakumar.

Hello, Dr. Vishwakumar.

Hello, I'm home!

Hello! I'm Devi's mother, Nalini. Please come on in.

Help me down, child. Don't touch my hip! Too brittle.

Henry David Thoreau once said,

Her brand new friend, whom she just decided to like,

Her college transcript's gonna be a mess.

Her mega hot fiancé's parents are coming to town.

Here are your stupid samples. They're not that great.

Here comes Kamala. You're a good guy, Prashant.

Here she was, crying on the street like a maniac.

Here.

Here's a question. You're a handsome guy, right?

Here's my advice.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Here's your phone.

Hey, Aneesa. Could I talk to you for a second?

Hey, are you okay? What happened?

Hey, at least you're allowed to date.

Hey, babe! Someone left a little message for you on my phone!

Hey, babe.

Hey, baby doll. Give Daddy some sugar.

Hey, Ben, wanna play flip cup with me?

Hey, Ben, want to pick up trash with me?

Hey, Ben. Hi.

Hey, Ben. It seems like it's your turn to run.

Hey, could you try these on?

Hey, cuz!

Hey, Dad, will you run lines with me?

Hey, Devi, Ben and I are helping set up the 24 hour relay.

Hey, Devi. Not to get in the way of your little meltdown

Hey, did you know that Ojichan was in an internment camp?

Hey, did you see me hit Trent in the dick?

Hey, do we have any hard ciders?

Hey, do you wanna go somewhere more private?

Hey, Doc.

Hey, El?

Hey, Eleanor, I brought my skins!

Hey, Eric! Do you wanna join our 24 hour relay team?

Hey, everybody! I did a little java run for my fave bro dogs. [chuckles]

Hey, Fab. Quick question.

Hey, Gail.

Hey, guys!

Hey, guys. I'm here, and I got some snacks.

Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt,

Hey, guys. Um, did Fabiola come with you?

Hey, how's it all going?

Hey, I have a vibrant countenance that people find relatable and appealing.

Hey, I have a weird request.

Hey, I heard about Mohan. Just so awful.

Hey, I hope things haven't been too weird for you working with me and Aneesa.

Hey, I'm not that big of a dork.

Hey, is there any chance that these texts are platonic?

Hey, it's really great to see you again.

Hey, Kamala, why don't you take today off

Hey, Kamala. You seem tense.

Hey, pal.

Hey, pal.

Hey, Pax. You skipped dinner, so I brought you a plate.

Hey, Paxton.

Hey, Prashant.

Hey, real quick. Can I check your phone? I just want to watch three TikToks, max.

Hey, so I got Funyuns.

Hey, so I was

Hey, that was my house!

Hey, this slideshow is very hurtful.

Hey, were you waiting for me?

Hey, what are you doing home so early?

Hey, what happened to you? Did you get attacked by another coyote?

Hey, what if we do a TikTok dance together?

Hey, what's up, guys?

Hey, why don't I get you a drink?

Hey, you just reamed Carley. That was so dope.

Hey, you look nice.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Hey, hey, it's okay. We can still slow dance.

Hey! Paxton!

Hey! So since my mom is head chaperone, she insisted on making us team shirts.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Aneesa, are you crying? What happened?

Hey. Come on, have a seat.

Hey. Hey, I've been trying to reach you all day.

Hey. So last night I was looking at Malcolm's phone,

Hey. You should tell your mom that she needs to clean the gutters.

Hi, Amma, Appa.

Hi, Aneesa.

Hi, excuse me. I'm here to pick up Devi.

Hi, girls. Take your homework upstairs. We're gonna need the room.

Hi, kiddo!

Hi, Mom. Um…

Hi, Nirmala Mami.

Hi, Setseg. Oh, sorry I haven't responded to your Evite about laser tag yet.

Hi, so what are you guys up to?

Hi, would you like to nominate someone for Cricket King and Queen?

Hi!

Hi! It's me, Eleanor.

Hi! Nice to meet you in this creepy abandoned lot.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. How are we?

Hi. We're here to see Dr. Jackson.

Hilarious joke.

His friends didn't even leave.

His pits were loud!

His work on gallbladder cells is breathtaking.

Hmm, a chance of T storms across the plains.

Hmm, I don't know, but maybe we could run a simulation and gauge my rage level.

Hmm, I guess not. [scoffs]

Hmm, let me think. You know, it does! Get it!

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm. I guess it feels bad to commit to something,

Hmm. Well,

Hmm. Well, I'm not your neighbor, so are you planning to kill me or…

Hmm. Which one of your boyfriends seems most soiree approps?

Ho, ho, ho!

Holy crap, you did it!

Holy shit!

Holy shit.

Honestly, I really like them.

Honey, your velvet's soaked with tears. You're not fine.

Hot damn, chickadee. You make my freak flag fly.

How about we move on to some closing arguments?

How about, just for this week,

How are we just hearing this?

How are you holding up?

How can I help you today?

How could I forget? Come join me.

How could she do that to Dad?

How could you start that rumor about Aneesa?

How dare he not treat you like the Tamil goddess you are?

How dare he?

How dare who?

How did you get out of the house?

How do you deal with people being mad at you all the time?

How do you know so many weird facts?

How is it possible that this formally uneffable nerd

How long does it usually take for it

How long have you been there?

How many dishes we should order,

How many friends would you bring to a first date with a girl?

How many hours is that?

How should we start?

How were your weekends?

How you thought you could get away with dating both of us?

However, they cannot stop me

Huh, I should've noticed that.

Huh, I'll try. But you know me, I'm just so insatiable.

Huh?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? For what?

Huh? My day was pretty deese.

Huh? Where's my phone?

Huh.

Huh. I wonder where she is.

I accidentally invited Ben to your party.

I actually have a personal matter to take care of, but thank you.

I actually threw a pretty huge rager a couple of weeks ago.

I actually work a little better, too, when I'm dehydrated.

I almost killed the captain of the swim team

I already filled in…

I already missed two practices

I already put pictures of our furniture

I always forget he's a celebrity. He's just so down to earth.

I am always here.

I am but a victim of my circumstances.

I am excited to see you, Prashant.

I am hooking up in here?

I am just trying to be a little less self centered.

I am no longer allowed to test you guys

I am on the school's mock trial team,

I am on your side!

I am sitting here wearing a giant turquoise statement necklace,

I am so glad to have you back,

I am so mortified.

I am so sorry about what happened.

I am so, so sorry for the situation.

I am so, so sorry I lied to you, Devi.

I am sorry for interrupting your evening.

I am the victim here, Eleanor.

I appreciate you wanting to seem like a dainty eater in front of our guests,

I assumed you lost your medical license for negligence.

I bet he has Hot Pocket plans to fall back on anyway.

I bet Tom and Rita do this. It's so much fun.

I call you my perfect girl because you are perfect to me,

I can only describe it as long and painful.

I can see how you'd interpret it that way,

I can work hard. Why don't you think I can work hard?

I can't be your secret hookup. That's not who I am.

I can't believe I get to date an out of work actor!

I can't believe I get to have an actual date night

I can't believe we're moving to stupid India.

I can't believe you haven't gotten caught yet.

I can't believe you said that to her face.

I can't believe you're moving here.

I can't go out like this.

I can't hold your hand forever!

I can't hold your hand forever!

I can't leave my post now to print out a different form

I can't move back to India.

I can't predict when Shira's gonna whip out her frozé machine

I can't wait to meet her.

I completely understand,

I could ask some of my robotics peeps.

I could've come next week.

I couldn't be skinny enough,

I definitely failed that test. I mean, I think I even got today's date wrong.

I did. I even read all the words on the pages.

I didn't burn a bridge. I just asked for what I deserved.

I didn't do it. I forgot.

I didn't even really get to talk to him.

I didn't know that we were so wasteful in this family.

I didn't know you were such a big shot.

I didn't know you were such a good person. Go figure.

I didn't mean to. It was an accident!

I didn't notice because I was busy two timing him with Ben!

I didn't pay for those Sour Straws to get stuck on the coil.

I didn't until recently.

I didn't want to let Sasha and Eve down. It's fine!

I do too!

I do, but it's not good enough for you, my perfect girl.

I do?

I do? It rocks!

I do. If you keep this up, you'll have plenty of options.

I don't have time for small talk, Mr. K! This is an emergency,

I don't kiss guys that often, Paxton.

I don't know anything about pop culture,

I don't know how they found out.

I don't know if I ever told you, but I love K pop. Huge BLACKPINK fan.

I don't know if that was the right thing to do.

I don't know where I put it.

I don't know whether to be scared or excited to see you.

I don't know, but she's no Eleanor Wong!

I don't know, Devi, maybe because you humiliated me. Remember?

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. It was the craziest thing.

I don't know. Russia?

I don't know. This stuff's hard.

I don't like it here.

I don't love how straight girls feel like they can casually call me "bitch" now.

I don't love the way Malcolm just talked to you.

I don't mind eating with just girls.

I don't need comforting.

I don't need your patients. I'm very successful.

I don't really identify with the Daisy character.

I don't really think that's our thing, Mom.

I don't run fast, I'm not cool,

I don't see you anywhere.

I don't sniff Sharpies anymore. That was just one tough week.

I don't think I'll ever be able to win him back.

I don't think you worked as hard as you could.

I don't think you're an idiot.

I don't wanna break up with Ben. He really pushes me.

I don't want that to happen till I'm halfway around the world

I dunno who told me.

I enjoyed hearing you speak your native tongue.

I feel like I'm constantly trying to fit in.

I feel like some stuff he said to me about my work recently

I feel like the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo,

I feel really bad for being such a dick to you.

I feel terrible about what happened, but you don't understand.

I feel you could use some fatherly wisdom. I can tell your heart is a little heavy.

I figured out my mom's Netflix password and turned off the parental restrictions.

I filled up 15 bags of garbage today.

I finally took off when Trent ate way too much pizza and barfed.

I followed your advice about playing the game,

I forgot my magazine!

I found this at the bottom of the trash can this morning.

I get a self hating Indian vibe from her. I bet she doesn't have any Indian friends.

I get it.

I get to see her every week, and I get to be reminded

I got a "B."

I got greedy, Doc.

I got into a really bad fight with Eleanor.

I got my tattoo.

I got so mad at him, I hung up the phone.

I got that commercial audition for that traffic safety PSA.

I got this.

I got you cashew brittle. Top of the line.

I guess I just…

I guess I learned not to talk about it too.

I guess I wouldn't mind seeing a nude Paxton when I bite the dust.

I guess I'm as bad at being a lesbian as I was a closeted straight person.

I guess my Adam's apple became too pronounced

I guess Paxton just wants to be friends.

I guess Trent's dad is a sommelier, so he's doing impromptu tasting.

I guess you don't care about my safety in this relationship.

I guess.

I had a dream the other night that Dua Lipa was feeding me g****s.

I had all his voicemails on my phone, but they're gone!

I had the first day of my new rotation, and it didn't go great.

I had to spend most of the day cleaning beakers

I had to take off all of my cool bracelets I got from Robert Downey Jr.'s Etsy store.

I had to work so hard to get into my fashion program.

I have a couple of work dinners this week. So you guys, you're on your own.

I have a stack of papers with my research over there,

I have an exciting day as well.

I have known you your entire life,

I have never heard anyone talk about Stanford this way.

I have some unpleasant news.

I have to say I'm impressed with the kid.

I haven't been held in…

I haven't gotten it yet.

I haven't seen you this nervous since the last SpaceX launch.

I hear it's a plant lover's paradise over there.

I heard there's flip cup in the garage. That's cool. You guys wanna play?

I heard you can make a great living in Bollywood movies

I hope we've all learned that we shouldn't judge a book by its cover,

I insist that you pray in my class anytime you need to.

I just

I just don't have any because I'm a kid.

I just found his dad's journal.

I just got overcome with emotion because I love Dad so much!

I just have to keep them separated for a few more weeks, and then, boom.

I just love Guillermo.

I just miss her, and honestly, I hate being in a fight.

I just remember I was sticking Marcus's toothbrush

I just respect him as a fellow actor.

I just stopped by to tell you that you're right.

I just thought it would be easier after coming out,

I just want to go to college. Period.

I just wanted him to get drunk and see Penn & Teller.

I just wanted to make sure you're not faking it.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

I just wanted to say that I appreciated what you said today.

I just… like you both so much.

I keep a log for networking and blackmailing purposes

I keep messing things up.

I kinda want to go to ASU, but I guess the swimming is better at Stanford,

I kinda wanted to be a lawyer too.

I know I didn't want to talk about it before, but…

I know I gave you the night off, but I need you to come to the lab.

I know I really hurt Ben, but deep down, I still think there's hope for us.

I know it's asking a lot for you to skip robotics,

I know she's gonna say something weird to you.

I know so. Right, Devi?

I know that speech by heart.

I know that, and I will never make that mistake again.

I know they take her hours to prepare,

I know this is not what you want, but I just need more family around us.

I know what you kids are thinking.

I know, but her stories are so boring, Amma.

I know, but I think maybe something's not great about it.

I know, but it's time.

I know! I'm also handsome, so feel free to compliment me in that area as well.

I know! Luckily, they have no academic or social overlap,

I know.

I know. Evan would kill me if he knew I was calling you.

I know. I got a trio of salsas for us.

I know. I got it covered.

I know. I want people to see me as more than just a kid

I know. I'm gonna miss you guys too.

I know. It's a lot.

I liked you. You know, I thought we were…

I live with an army of badgering Indian women.

I look forward to that.

I love having you here, but you are too westernized now.

I love interesting facts, but that wasn't interesting enough to cheer me up.

I love that I pay taxes to send you to school

I love that you and Ben are together. I'm your biggest fan! I'm your stan.

I love this idea.

I love you too.

I made the discovery that the whole paper was based on.

I may have been the one to accept the award,

I mean Ben Gross, really?

I mean enough. Not a weird amount.

I mean that's wonderful and not surprising at all.

I mean, breaking into Dr. Jackson's property,

I mean, do you even like both these boys?

I mean, have you seen his Instagram?

I mean, he is so infuriating, but everyone you speak to just loves him.

I mean, I can't help that I like both of them.

I mean, I'd definitely go if we didn't have to study all weekend.

I mean, it was Paxton.

I mean, it's… it's crazy when you think about it, right? You and me?

I mean, maybe I am dumb.

I mean, she was the person who gave me my first handy,

I mean, there's a reason everyone calls it the 69 hour three way. [chuckles]

I mean, there's no way it would've worked out.

I mean, there's really not much left to do,

I mean, time permitting.

I mean, we just don't make any sense, you know?

I mean, what disgraceful behavior, Devi!

I mean, you guys didn't even notice, and…

I mean, you sort of did.

I mean, you two timed me, and then I got yeeted by a Chevy Volt.

I mean, you'll be in India, so you'll kinda be off the hook but…

I miss you.

I need my phone.

I need the room!

I need to figure out a way to apologize to Aneesa so she doesn't move away.

I need to tell my story so no one ever forgets.

I need you to come downstairs now for a family discussion.

I need your help. My bio test is today, and I never looked over my flash cards

I never expected her to be stabbed in the back

I noticed there were clear phenotypic differences

I once hugged a man at Circuit City

I ordered a sleeveless dress to surprise your father.

I panicked.

I pray it's a closed casket.

I promise, it's fine.

I put my name on the paper and submitted it to the journal.

I really am sorry, but I thought I was just looking out for Eleanor.

I really don't want you to leave.

I really like Aneesa.

I really like them.

I really tricked it out this year.

I recently had to convince my mom that I'm not forsaking my religion

I refuse to pay for something invisible.

I remember hearing about that and being super jealous.

I resign. I cancel myself.

I said to myself that I wanted to do something good for the world,

I said yes to my daughter, and now she thinks I'm a hero!

I said you're suspended.

I said, "Go look in the back."

I saw one of them order a tray of nachos at 10:00 a.m.

I saw Rosalia and Eric do it, and it seemed nice.

I saw some pretty suspicious texts on his phone.

I saw what happened.

I saw you at the state finals last year. Girl, you like a little Megan Rapinoe.

I saw you in the play. You were straight up transcendent, Erica.

I saw you reach for the seat belt in the car.

I saw, and look, your team won today.

I see you've already met my mom and grandma.

I see Zoe Maytag wasn't overly concerned with leaving room for others.

I see. So where am I at? A "B"?

I should be one of the lawyers.

I should've been able to look at your success

I should've been there for you, Nalu.

I should've known that you wouldn't do that to Dad,

I should've picked Ben in the first place! He was all in.

I sort of Ferris Bueller'd it.

I sort of stand by the fact that the fewer robots she's with, the better.

I spend a lot of time editing Wikipedia.

I spent mine in Little Ethiopia refreshing my collection of dashikis.

I spent three hours sorting Pati's blood pressure pills today.

I spread my dad's ashes at the beach.

I start my new rotation next week anyway, with Dr. Logan,

I started it, but you deserve to know.

I started the rumor.

I started the rumor.

I still have a whole lot of food on my plate. [laughs]

I stood up to my parents for the first time in my life?

I swear it is.

I take offense to that. I am firmly in Gen X.

I tell people to park there because I'm embarrassed

I think I have jogging induced appendicitis!

I think I might be sort of…

I think I saw a silicone breast implant.

I think I was trapped under Malcolm's spell.

I think I will be ready in a few years,

I think I'm low key pulling this off. I just have to stay moving like a shark.

I think I'm more of a Kylie, but… [exhales]

I think I've been running myself ragged cleaning up after everyone.

I think I've got it under control. I don't need anybody else's help on the case.

I think it might be a little too soon.

I think it's a rustic conversation piece for any elegant tablescape

I think it's exciting, like a farce y Molière play!

I think it's good that you had a panic attack.

I think it's great you invited her.

I think my grandmother has a crush on you.

I think my mom might be dating someone, but it's way too soon, right?

I think people prefer no frills, immigrant values

I think Sherman Oaks is cool.

I think so.

I think the right guy for me will think that

I think there's an Amazon delivery drone stuck in there.

I think we need to cast a wider net.

I think we need to work on your approach to stress.

I think we've done some good work today. Should we take a break?

I think what you mean is that you're bad at being Sasha and Eve.

I think you and Aneesa make a really good couple.

I think you could totally pull off a nose ring.

I think you did the assignment,

I think you had a little panic attack.

I think you have my hat.

I think you're awesome,

I think you're the same size as Kendall Jenner.

I thought about what you said, and…

I thought all the schlubs might be gone by now,

I thought I was going to do something great.

I thought it was the opposite of swimming.

I thought it would be good to hear from someone who was actually there.

I thought maybe I did something wrong.

I thought she would like it, and I worked really hard on the dance.

I thought the girls at my last school were selfish. You're on another level.

I thought you liked having me here.

I thought you started dating again, and I got upset!

I threw them in my backpack, and I guess they got mixed up.

I told Mrs. Warner that I'm not gonna put that kind of pressure on you.

I told you I was a good cook,

I transferred from Toluca Prep.

I tried talking to Dr. Peters about it, but he didn't wanna get involved.

I truly forgot you were my daughter,

I turned him into a straight up player!

I understand if you wanna leave, but I really don't want to.

I understand.

I usually go get a snack when this happens.

I wanna be someone's public girlfriend.

I wanna play like a heroin addict or like an ugly person.

I wanna remind everybody

I want a boyfriend who'll take me to the dance, hold my hand,

I want an education, a career.

I want to live where he lived.

I want us to be friends.

I wanted to show you something.

I wanted to start fresh here, and everything was going so well. I…

I was a real bad girlfriend.

I was able to sell my patient roster to Dr. Jackson for a king's ransom.

I was acting petty and selfish.

I was actually worried about the statistical improbability

I was also the Muslim brown girl

I was being helpful. She's not gonna get sex trafficked if she's not hot.

I was Cricket Queen.

I was joking. She knows I was joking.

I was just being dumb,

I was just going over your end of the semester grades,

I was just mad that you hooked up with Ben, and I used to date him.

I was just making a wish on that shooting star.

I was just, um, remembering an article

I was like, "What the hell?"

I was looking for Devi.

I was looking for you because I stupidly wanted to apologize

I was not surprised by this behavior.

I was really looking forward to working with him.

I was trying something. Forget it.

I was trying to study, but Trent got me loose.

I was.

I watch that show. The "L" stands for lesbian.

I went because I loved him, and because I liked the idea of no power outages.

I will end you, DJ Humanoid!

I will file a complaint with the administration.

I will go ham on your ass!

I will have to administer a final exam

I will miss seeing you every day.

I will mobilize the Association of Women in Science.

I will Reverse, Draw Four, and Uno you in that game.

I will write a scathing article in Jezebel, and I will

I wish.

I wonder what this next one is.

I work all the time. I haven't raised my daughter properly.

I would argue the opposite. She seems effortless.

I would feel better leaving,

I would go with the bath bombs.

I would never do anything to hurt you.

I would rather barf to death than go to that.

I wouldn't want you to have to "hold my hand."

I, too, love Guillermo.

I… I cannot believe I'm saying this, but you, my friend, are a genius.

I… I know you're moving to India, but I'm cool with long distance.

I… I miss your father so much that it physically hurts.

I… I used to get nervous before swim meets,

I'd assume they're probably pretty used to being ditched.

I'd like to answer that.

I'd like to be your girlfriend.

I'd love it if I didn't have to spend most of my day apologizing.

I'd love to look up and see you when I climb out of the pool.

I'd rather not go to college than work with her.

I'd start with who told Aneesa and work backwards.

I'll be right in, guys.

I'll believe that when I see it.

I'll check my email right now!

I'll come back when you're alone.

I'll do puddles so you don't stain your sneakers.

I'll get a tattoo of his name under my boobs like Rihanna.

I'll get these to you tomorrow.

I'll give you ten grand.

I'll have busted out town like Road Runner.

I'll have to spend the next 24 hours trying to keep them apart.

I'll invite Paxton.

I'll make you proud.

I'll need to rent them and any laser tag equipment.

I'll still be buried there because you'll never get a piercing.

I'll tell Principal Grubbs that the investigation's a bust.

I'll tell you what your doing. You're hanging out with me.

I'm a goddamn sweetie pie!

I'm a pro at manipulating my parents, and they're not budging.

I'm a total derm nerd, a skinhead! Wait, nope, not that.

I'm afraid that's not possible. My shoes are connected to my pants.

I'm always looking for an excuse to publicly sing "Drops of Jupiter."

I'm aware that I sometimes have a problematic personality,

I'm busy, Gladys!

I'm choosing to be with Malcolm!

I'm coming for you, bro. Blood brothers for life!

I'm fine with anything as long as it's, you know, close to a beach,

I'm fine.

I'm finishing up an extra credit project for school.

I'm flirting. You of all people should recognize that.

I'm free tomorrow.

I'm friends with my cousin!

I'm glad that Aneesa is helping you appreciate your culture.

I'm glad we at least cleared the air before I left.

I'm going to leave you two alone to talk this out in private.

I'm going, and I'm bringing my world famous potato skins,

I'm gonna ask a girl about her interests.

I'm gonna call everybody that was at that relay

I'm gonna call the pharmacy.

I'm gonna go get a soda.

I'm gonna go look in your bathroom mirror and try to scare myself.

I'm gonna go see Frost/Nixon at the Taper Forum.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna meet with this other dermatologist in my building.

I'm gonna take your advice, do it on my own.

I'm gonna try and sell him my patient roster for a vastly inflated price.

I'm guessing you either want something or did something.

I'm happy to see you, but what's up?

I'm his head research assistant, right hand man, Evan Safstrom.

I'm hungry, and I wanna house a Double Double.

I'm in.

I'm just gonna let it slide.

I'm just saying that you're almost done with this rotation.

I'm just saying you need to make a serious overture.

I'm kind of in the middle of something. Could I find you at lunch?

I'm listed as one of the best doctors in LA.

I'm Malcolm. Heard you're the lead in Menagerie.

I'm Mr. Kulkarni. I'm the English teacher, but I'm also the girls' soccer coach.

I'm not cool.

I'm not crying 'cause of your silly magazine.

I'm not dressed for networking, and Eric stole my hat.

I'm not gonna take social advice

I'm not making fun. I love this gum wrapper dude.

I'm not one to talk about infidelity, but you remember you have a boyfriend?

I'm not quite ready for dessert yet.

I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

I'm not surprised.

I'm not too westernized, Mami.

I'm not trying to be selfish.

I'm not, like, trying to record you guys peeing or anything.

I'm not. I'm just… looking for my phone.

I'm okay.

I'm on a 24 hour flight to India.

I'm only here because your patients keep parking in my office's reserved spots.

I'm out.

I'm parked in front of P.F. Chang's,

I'm parked in front of P.F. Chang's,

I'm proud of you.

I'm pushing A and the left joystick.

I'm really mature about tons of shit.

I'm really sorry that I accused Malcolm of cheating on you,

I'm really sorry,

I'm really sorry, Mom.

I'm really trying to be mature, Kamala, but it's so hard.

I'm right in the middle of dinner.

I'm sad Fabiola's away at a robotics competition.

I'm so excited for our sleepover this Friday.

I'm so excited for you to visit.

I'm so proud of you.

I'm so sorry, Devi.

I'm so sorry, Dr. Jackson. This trespasser happens to be my daughter.

I'm so sorry, honey.

I'm so sorry, Prashant.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I didn't see you.

I'm so sorry. I need to take this.

I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean any of it.

I'm sorry about that.

I'm sorry I've been a jerk to you.

I'm sorry to barge in like this, Dr. Vishwakumar,

I'm sorry, Devi. [sighs]

I'm sorry, Dr. Vishwakumar,

I'm sorry, El.

I'm sorry, guys. That wouldn't be fair to the other students.

I'm sorry, I'm just annoyed about my loser lab mates.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry, Ojichan.

I'm sorry, too, Devi.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. This is about me. I should've led with that.

I'm still prettier than you are.

I'm sure he has.

I'm sure it will get better

I'm sure you are. Thank you, Devi.

I'm sure you're at the dance, so I won't keep you.

I'm surprised Evan let you have the night off

I'm terrible.

I'm the captain now.

I'm the one who told Shira and Zoe, but I didn't even know it was true.

I'm the only crazy one. Remember that time I fought a coyote?

I'm thinking upbeat apology with a pinch of school spirit,

I'm trying to fill ten bags by lunch so I can be interviewed by the local paper.

I'm ubiquitous, henny.

I'm very sorry to hear that.

I've a scout from Stanford coming to watch me swim.

I've been dreaming of those bean chalupas all morning!

I've chosen your jobs for you.

I've done crazy things when I'm emotional too.

I've forgotten what you look like in person.

I've got a few prospects.

I've just returned from shopping.

I've never snuck out before. I'm so down.

I've seen mothers and daughters doing that.

I've wanted to go to Princeton forever. Like, it's my whole thing.

I've worked with plenty of Evans before.

If Evan left your name off, I'm sure he had a reason.

If everything went according to plan,

If he didn't, she would officially be a sad side piece.

If I also got Ben, that wouldn't be so bad, right?

If I could have a smoke show like Paxton, Oliver would be kicked to the curb.

If I get Aneesa to stay at Sherman Oaks,

If I just talk to her, she'll understand where I'm coming from.

If I make anything below an "A."

If I were you, I'd put my head down and get through it!

If I'm gonna talk to him, I need more vodka.

If I'm not crazy, how did I paralyze myself?

If it makes you feel any better, my picture is by an ad for foot cream.

If it were any other weekend, I'd love to come.

If it's Paxton and Zoe, they've already been nominated like 50 times.

If Mr. K had said hi to me, I would not have blushed.

If my mom sees you wearing your oversized sweatshirt

If she could just talk to Aneesa,

If she's like you, I'm stoked to have her in my new gang. [laughs]

If there was sex, there'd be strings.

If they found out, they'd be so pissed.

If we invite enough people, Ben and Paxton won't notice they're both your dates.

If you do, you're a bigot.

If you don't figure it out, she's gone by the end of the week.

If you don't give him a second chance, you're teaching him that it is not okay

If you need me, I'll be listening from the kitchen.

If you wanna meet up later, we can talk about tutoring

If you want good grades, then be a good student.

If you wanted to hit the mall before your sleepover.

If you were Zoe Maytag, you wouldn't stand a chance.

If you'd studied with me like you said

If your child needs you, you just say yes.

In a drawer at home.

In a few years, Nalini and I will have a Hollywood mansion.

In a giant heart in his California king bed?

In a series of life cycle events in the Hindu tradition.

In all her focus to repair things with Aneesa,

In Babe 3: Space Pig.

In case anyone ever tries to bring the drama to me.

In Dr. Jackson's fancy ass car,

In fact, I have a prayer mat in my car if you ever want to borrow it.

In her street's most notorious hook up spot?

In Manhattan's Lower East Side.

In my cross country team's 24 hour relay for charity. [chuckles]

In my professional life.

In my version, the smile is hiding his sadness.

In some ways, it was a window into how people lived in the past,

In that case, let me change the subject. What do you think about Aneesa?

In that case, perhaps a two year or community college might be a safer bet.

In the case of the murder of one Mr. Jay Gatsby.

In the civil parish of Barton upon Humber

In this envelope are the names of this year's Cricket royalty.

In what world was that a good apology?

In your dreams, Mom.

Including my old ass grandma!

Including your life.

Inner peace and moral clarity!

Innocent.

Instead of doing grunt work at the lab.

Instead, I will be playing three notes of peace on this Peruvian siku.

Interesting, Ben. I am definitely open to there being multiple answers.

Into being Paxton's girlfriend again?

Is a subscription to a Dungeons & Dragons newsletter.

Is because she herself is so hurt.

Is causing you to make some questionable decisions.

Is completely paid for by my dad's car dealership. [chuckles]

Is it because of how bad the birdhouse is? I get it.

Is it my first choice on where to live?

Is it safe to drink from the water fountains?

Is it too early to say, "Yas, Queens!"

Is that a euphemism? Uh, I don't even wanna know.

Is that Arabic?

Is that cheesy bread paired with Diet Coke has its own taste personality.

Is that so you don't have to do work?

Is that the question?

Is that what you're telling yourselves?

Is that why our printer's so bad?

Is the DJ trying to make single people feel like shit?

Is this a headshot?

Is this an intervention?

Is this girl talk? Is one of you gonna start crying about female friendship?

Is this too risky? What if they find out about each other?

Is this your way of apologizing to me?

Is to cast doubt on the person that she loves?

Is today the day you visit? I guess so.

Isn't that impressive?

It all began on a goat farm

It couldn't extinguish the red hot sparks sizzling between him and Aneesa.

It didn't take a 4.0 GPA to know who his plus one would be.

It doesn't matter if you don't get caught. It's wrong.

It doesn't matter. I'll be back here in two years,

It doesn't matter. I'm fine.

It felt so good to finally do something well in school.

It had all been above board.

It happens after you experience a traumatizing event.

It hasn't even been a year since Mohan died.

It is a beautiful, beautiful language.

It is so annoying how no one knows how nerdy you are because you're so hot.

It is, and this house belongs to Dr. Jackson,

It just doesn't fit like it used to.

It looks amazing.

It makes sense for her to help me. She owes me.

It means you're human.

It occurred to her that Nirmala might be right.

It really demands more space than a two door vehicle.

It reminded me of that health class video about controlling teen relationships.

It sounded wild.

It sounds like they're just trying to comfort you.

It was Eddie Tan.

It was Eleanor's stupid idea to make it all girls.

It was for no strings attached sex,

It was inspired by what Lindsay Lohan wore to her DUI trial.

It was me.

It was quite insulting to the driver.

It was right after he found out he was one of your two boyfriends.

It was so funny. It was good.

It was time for Devi to put these two lovebirds

It was time to get the hell out of here.

It wasn't real.

It wasn't.

It will be just you and me eating Spanish tapas together.

It would only hurt her.

It wouldn't hold weight in a court of law,

It'll be okay.

It's 'cause she told everybody that she's anorexic.

It's 2:00 in the morning. What are you doing here?

It's a safe space to consensually rail.

It's a start.

It's a tradition!

It's actually a bad look for our people

It's actually cool to have another Indian classmate for once.

It's actually very helpful for burn victims.

It's all good. So I take it you two are about to head out?

It's always the short ones.

It's been a hard year, hasn't it, Nalu?

It's been nothing but chaos and confusion.

It's Eleanor, but thank you.

It's excruciating to see your child go through that.

It's fine. I guess, uh, we should talk about what's going on in my cuckoo brain.

It's fine. I'll go.

It's friggin' Shakespeare.

It's fun to freak out.

It's gonna be fine. We just need to separate the boys.

It's hard after pretending for so long to finally live your authentic life.

It's heavy because it's filled with birdseed,

It's important to give nice people a chance.

It's insanely obvious you two have some kind of history.

It's inviting me to make an appointment with his facialist, Gabrielle.

It's just I feel like Dad's disappearing from our lives.

It's just so weird seeing you all busted up.

It's just that this outing is just for people from my office,

It's just too much.

It's just… Does she not know girl code? You don't flirt with your friend's ex!

It's kinda my modern take on the classic Billy Wilder film, The Apartment.

It's Lenny.

It's like my mom doesn't even know her.

It's like when you see an overly photoshopped

It's me! Your friend. Devi? From school?

It's Ms. Warner.

It's my turn again? Are you sure?

It's not about popularity. I was trying to help the queer community.

It's not like Aneesa was actually perfect.

It's not my first choice.

It's not okay to be unfaithful to someone like that.

It's not. It's basic.

It's not…

It's okay. I'll just lay low and wait

It's okay. I've seen American teen movies. I understand hazing.

It's okay. Now that I'm gonna be a Cali boy,

It's pretty crowded.

It's pretty sweet, huh?

It's so exciting solving a mystery.

It's so much more stressful waiting around for these dumb boys

It's so stupid!

It's the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

It's the powerhouse of the cell,

It's the reason I had to leave my last school.

It's the right thing to do.

It's time for me to dip. Thanks for lunch, Kamala.

It's time for this woman to take responsibility for her actions!

It's too late now.

It's true. [sniffling]

It's true. Everyone here has a gun and a juicer.

It's what allowed women to join the workforce.

It's what we call psychosomatic weakness.

It's where they crown the Cricket King and Queen.

It's your fellow Clipper fan, Billy Crystal.

It's… No. Thank you so much.

James Earl Jones is the host.

Jesus, David, you never exercised before?

Job's yours.

John McEnroe, back to you.

Jonah! That's where we'll start!

Jonah? Where'd you come from?

Jordan had to replace all of his wiring.

Just because your personal life is a toilet fire

Just because.

Just by poking one tiny hole in her nose.

Just drink it!

Just get out of here.

Just give him a chance.

Just give up on Paxton.

Just like my colleague said.

Just me and Oliver, Fab and Eve, and you and, um…

Just school's never been your thing.

Just so you know, I never hooked up with Ben.

Just start writing, Pax. Write anything.

Just trying to talk to Dr. Peters.

K pop karaoke. I saw on Instagram.

Kamala, are you feeling okay?

Kamala, can you hang back a second?

Kamala, don't be mad,

Kamala, inga vaadi. Just need some help.

Kamala, it's nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Kulkarni. Manish!

Kamala, y your friends are here, ma!

Kamala, you've been wronged, and it's okay to demand it be righted.

Kanna, I really appreciate this newfound interest

Kannamma! You scared me!

Kazhudai. "Bye. Bye."

Keep it down, please?

Keep your chin up.

Kept in the shadows.

Kickin' it old school. Kickin' it new school.

Kinda don't know what I'm doing with myself.

Kinda happens to me every time I go to the mall.

Kitchen!

Knowing that they're being cared for by someone who is…

Knows that Paxton's embarrassed of her.

Krebs cycle.

Krebs cycle. When am I ever gonna have to know the Krebs cycle in my life?

Last night didn't end great, huh?

Last night, Devi and I were talking about how hard it is

Last night, he came over and gave me this whole speech

Later, babe.

Later, loser.

Legend has it, he romanced Kaia Gerber at summer camp

Lenny's queer?

Let me ask you a question.

Let me cut to the chase. I spoke to your coach this morning,

Let me just finish this one email, and then we can go and eat outside.

Let me know if you ever need any advice.

Let me show you this trick my dad's training buddy Dwayne showed him.

Let me take you out for some froyo, and we could keep this convo going.

Let the prosecution begin with their opening statements.

Let's also make sure people pick up after themselves.

Let's go to the costume room and look for inspiration.

Let's make it a small adult soiree.

Let's try flirting.

Like a kissy face? Or a winky face?

Like bow or hand them a cup of tea or some shit. You can't let them.

Like for instance, what's going on with Ben and Aneesa?

Like her cackling laugh, or her overuse of the word "random,"

Like in a "we've got one of those fun fish stickers on our Volkswagen" way.

Like it was a hummus sample at the grocery store,

Like last night, he said, "Hey,

Like me, and Tracey… [chuckles]

Like my paralysis?

Like seeing your father die right in front of you.

Like she was gathering signatures for Greenpeace.

Like spooning at a potter's wheel?

Like Stanford and UCLA.

Like that kid Ben you were just mouth kissing,

Like that sophomore in the '90s who got Señora Gilbert pregnant!

Like where do I put my TI 84?

Like with a singing telegram or a thoughtful selection of bath bombs.

Like yesterday, she asked me if I wanted to get a funky, lesbian haircut.

Like, I'll just look up from my Sbarro pizza…

Like, last night we could have hooked up, but then Trent barfed, and you left.

Like, lower than Paxton's dad's ponytail.

Like, maybe I flooded your mouth with saliva.

Like, rap all the facts like they did in Hamilton?

Like, so much drama.

Like, the line was here, and I was freaking way over there.

Like, when you feel that surge of anger coming up, stop…

Like, where's your head at?

Like, you're basically invisible.

Listen, Devi,

Listen, I need some advice about matters of the heart.

Listen, if anyone should be embarrassed, it's Paxton.

Listen.

Living history! We're literally facing history!

Look at these zippers. Some don't even come with pockets!

Look at you coming up with fresh leads. To the boys' locker room!

Look who got a free badge that says "volunteer"?

Look, all I'm hearing from that side is excuse after excuse.

Look, Devi, I get it.

Look, Devi, I like you.

Look, don't get me wrong. I mean, I love them,

Look, Eve, I have to tell you something.

Look, I can explain.

Look, I could honestly give a shit about you and Ben Gross. All right?

Look, I just want to say you've been a huge asset to the lab,

Look, I just wanted to say thank you for all your help.

Look, I wrote them on my thigh. [laughs]

Look, I've been thinking about it,

Look, it doesn't matter. You said you'd help me at the relay

Look, we can shoot higher,

Look, when I said I needed your help, I meant I need you to do my work for me.

Look.

Losing my shit? Okay. Okay.

Love is not the same thing as being starstruck.

Madam Vishwakumar, Elder Madam Vishwakumar, Cousin Kamala,

Made Devi feel even more alone.

Made me wonder if he's right for me. I don't

Make up bag, whatever you can stuff in your pockets.

Makes me think I could easily be sucked into a cult.

Making his wife live with him in character as Abraham Lincoln.

Making this as hard as possible for her.

Malcolm is just like my mother. I've been trying to date my mother!

Malcolm just broke up with me.

Malcolm Stone just texted me.

Malcolm sucks, and you deserve someone better.

Malcolm?

Malcolm's a genius,

Malcolm's coming over to run lines with me,

Mami, I need to move here.

Man entering the girls' bathroom.

Man, she'd royally Devi'd this day up. Original meaning.

Manish, right?

Many of you know, I have wronged Aneesa.

Manzanar was located in a farm town that was abandoned

May it please the court,

May one day lead to a world without gallstones.

Maybe Devi had been wrong about her.

Maybe he should talk about it.

Maybe I can come by tomorrow too.

Maybe I'm different now.

Maybe it was possible

Maybe it wasn't that the apology needed to be physically bigger than the mistake,

Maybe it's for the best. His penis is too big.

Maybe it's healthy for you to learn some things don't come so easy.

Maybe Prashant's parents flew halfway around the world

Maybe she's just expressing her grief through sex.

Maybe split the difference with how you were before.

Maybe stick to one guy.

Maybe the woods where there's no people around?

Maybe we can get a good deal on a condo for the two of us.

Maybe we can start there?

Maybe we should watch a few episodes of How to Get Away with Murder.

Maybe you didn't want it at first, but what about now?

Maybe you should just oil me down, woman.

Maybe, uh, entomology club?

Maybe. I don't know. I still have to figure some things out.

Me and my real human girlfriend will be there.

Me.

Medic? Medic!

Meet me in the car. Just grab your stuff.

Mic drop.

Might be a little too much for condo shopping.

Miley actually gave me the best advice for how to stay grounded.

Missing dinners with your handsome boyfriend.

Mister K, you did me dirty, and I will not forget.

Mitochondria.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm. That sounds really, really good.

Mm, I didn't make him get hit by a car!

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. I wouldn't go that far.

Mm… Oh, I know a girl who has a cousin on the football team here.

Mmm, dinner was lovely.

Mmm, I don't know. Look how she's sucking up to the popular kids.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mohan used to call me that. [chuckles]

Mohan, it's… it's already 7:00. We can't be late for the flight.

Mom, do something!

Mom, help me. Convince Aneesa's mom to let her stay at our school.

Mom, I was thinking.

Mom, I'm just tutoring him. Relax.

Mom, it's just a popularity contest that's like super heteronormative

Mom, relax.

Mom, we're safely at the porch.

Mom, you were telling me about your work day?

Momentarily granting Devi a recess from her own personal trial,

Most important meal of the day! Perfect.

Mostly for you, Ben. But hey, we can keep partying right?

Move.

Mr. Kulkarni actually taught me a valuable lesson.

Mr. Kulkarni, I have to change roles. I can't work with the defense team!

Mr. Shapiro, because you bowed to the establishment,

Mr. Shapiro, Paxton would like to retake his test.

Mr. Shapiro, please do the honors.

Mrs. Paloma gives me a Christmas gift every year.

Ms. Warner said that without swimming, college isn't looking too great for me.

Multiple times.

Must be running the one mile loop at all times for 24 hours.

My advice to Devi,

My bottom half is actually a keyboard. Is that a deal breaker?

My brother stole that soundproofing foam when he got kicked out of his band.

My brother, I told you, called me a fool on Thanksgiving.

My Chinese a capella group, the Shang High Notes.

My cousin works at a weed dispensary.

My dad always said, "If you mess up big, you have to apologize even bigger."

My dad and Baz play squash together sometimes.

My dad and Sharon are suffocating me.

My dad does it every day for work.

My dad has access to a PJ.

My daughter is acting out all the time, and it's getting worse,

My entire roster of loyal patients isn't attractive to you?

My ex girlfriend and I,

My friends are always on my dates. They leave when it's time to hook up.

My grandfather was one of them.

My great great grandmother was a garment worker there.

My husband would've known exactly what to do.

My ideal.

My life is over!

My mom covered my eyes during the kiss in Lady and the Tramp

My mom doesn't tell me how to live my life.

My mom just left me on read!

My mom keeps it for funerals or apologies to neighbors.

My mom made some of her signature fudgies.

My mom rear ended a bus.

My mom won't let me date either. But I just did it anyway. Classic me.

My mom's mind is made up, and there's no changing it.

My ongoing fight with the school board

My perfect girl.

My robot, Gears Brosnan, has friends in Mumbai,

My shoes are not connected to my pants, but you do not want me to take them off.

My son is not speaking to me

My success is your success. You're my husband.

My trainer's pissed at me for missing leg day anyway.

My weather app says there's a storm coming tonight.

My weekend was pretty great.

My zebra buckie.

My… My heart was racing, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

Nah, bro, pizza's on its way.

Nah, I once got stuck in a rotating restaurant

Nah, it's chill.

Nah. I got some errands to run.

Nalini knew it took a lot for Nirmala to admit this.

Nalini Vishwakumar?

Nalini was expecting more fanfare

Nalini, did you know that Chris uses all of the proceeds from his cosmetic line

Nalini! Come, join us. This is Gokul, the groom's grandfather.

Nalini! So happy to see you!

Namaskaram, mama.

Neither do you.

Netflix wants me for a docu series called Field of Derms.

Neutral? I'm wrong, aren't I?

Next week is Diwali, and the week after, we booked a trip to Goa.

Nice! Yeah, no, I think we're in good shape.

Nice. Really descriptive, bro.

Nirmala had slowly puttered straight into the elaborate web

Nirmala would be occupied for the next six or seven hours,

No candlelit dinner?

No cap, Devi. You trying to ice out my boy?

No doubt, but look, I snuck the answers to the test

No doy! They're the coolest.

No doy. I feel like shit.

No friends, no phone, no video games, no internet.

No need, no need.

No offense, but why would I start a rumor about some random ass sophomore?

No offense, Devi 1.0.

No offense.

No one could do the part

No one owes you.

No one will catch me.

No one's gonna vote for Cricket Queens they don't know.

No problem. I didn't even know this room was here.

No rose petals in a little trail leading to the bedroom door?

No shit.

No way were these two making it to Trent's tent

No, but she should be able to sense it. Our chemistry is palpable.

No, but you don't want to burn bridges this early in your career.

No, he didn't!

No, I had a good day. I actually studied and got this on my own.

No, I'd also like to do the extra credit project.

No, I'm not. I'd do it.

No, I'm sorry. That was a joke.

No, I'm… I'm serious.

No, it's definitely our office.

No, it's not like that.

No, it's not.

No, it's too early for that.

No, Kamala. You didn't get it because you're not listed as a co author.

No, me and Aneesa.

No, no, babe. The Library is a bar in Silver Lake.

No, no, it's not the birdhouse.

No, no, no, let's not do that. Come, come.

No, no, no, no. Not "okay, jeez."

No, no, no!

No, no, no. It's just, most girls around here wait for the guy to ask.

No, no, the fault lies in the rampant classism and materialism of the 1920s,

No, no, worry not!

No, no. No, it wasn't… it wasn't anything.

No, no. The kiss was fine. It was good.

No, of course not! I'm embarrassed of her.

No, of course not.

No, of course not. I'm with Oliver.

No, people, this is not a dream.

No, please don't.

No, that's a myth.

No, there should only be one choice,

No, they're family heirlooms. Some of them are very old.

No, those are the stupidest things Okay, just give me one.

No, we thought she was coming with you.

No, we won't be here long.

No, what? Who said that? Me? I, um…

No, you can't move here.

No, you can't write another paper on how Haim are like the Brontë sisters.

No, you racist! I'm not Aneesa!

No, you're not.

No! Don't go to the living room. Go to my bedroom.

No! I'm mad because Evan's submitting the paper to the journal tomorrow,

No! If anything, Gears is a fussy old queen like C 3PO.

No! No, Pati, you sit. I'll go get the dessert.

No! We're just celebrating your spirit.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. [breathes deeply]

No. [scoffs] I'm her cousin, Kamala.

No. George Orwell.

No. I just mean that if you pretend to like their nerdy activities,

No. I like your friends.

No. I was, uh, just chilling.

No. I'm just excited to see you. How was your day?

No. No, we're not even.

No. Nobody wants to read that.

No. Ouch. Jesus, Rebecca.

No. She told me she was gonna meet me here,

No. That's in Calabasas next to the Kardashians,

No. Why would you say that?

No. Your fart related acronym is not helpful, Eric,

Noor, I understand why you're so angry. I mean, Devi was way out of line.

Nope, Devi, you never told Aneesa that Ben was your ex.

Nope, not interested in joining whatever cult this is. Thank you.

Nope. Bad McEnroe. Bad!

Not a final interpretive dance.

Not a girl you made out with for a zillion hours last night.

Not about how we should destigmatize BOTOX for men,

Not at all.

Not because I care about you being cool.

Not because I expect you to be perfect all the time.

Not because of me.

Not even close.

Not exactly, but I'm leaving at the end of the semester,

Not gonna lie, a lot of us need to use the restroom.

Not intentionally, no.

Not knowing the other person was lying the whole time.

Not much.

Not now, Oliver. We're in a crisis.

Not now, Pati.

Not okay! You can't talk to me like that. I'm a boyfriend now.

Not only did she do all of her laps,

Not sexual. Let me finish! Also, not sexual.

Not that I'm taking sides. I am his narrator.

Not the photographer one, the tattoo. I'm gonna get a tattoo tonight.

Not to him.

Not to hook up! Just so I don't fail PE.

Not to pull rank, but as her boyfriend, I should help throw it.

Nothing but plastic. Let's go!

Nothing.

Nothing. I'll take it out before she sees it,

Now here I am, unemployed,

Now I could rattle off statistics about it,

Now I know where my lying gene comes from because you're the biggest liar of us all!

Now I see how irresponsible that was.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna…

Now my hands are covered in the crumbs of my failed relationships.

Now my whole thing is being the new girl with an eating disorder.

Now Paxton is someone people can't take their eyes off of…

Now tell me, which essential oil do you need?

Now that even my adult cousin has been asked to the Winter Dance,

Now that she's staying, I'm gonna ask her out.

Now that you're done with your Disney show, what's next for you, Malcolm?

Now that you're free, we can party every day.

Now we can watch movies with bad words and butts and stuff.

Now we just got to make sure y'all win.

Now we wait.

Now we're gonna have dinner together once a week.

Now, all she had to do was smooth things over with Ben.

Now, Aneesa says you and her are friends,

Now, I want to give this to you. Here.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've just been suspended!

Now, let's just pray my parents never find out,

Now, Ojichan, what was the hardest thing about living in the camp?

Now, put it all back.

Now, suck it up and introduce us.

Now, the prosecution has given a rather simple assessment of the case.

Now, we all know the rules.

Now, who wants to help me unpack my homemade pickles?

Now, you're the hilarious one.

Obviously, perv reasons. I don't care about you.

Of "teen refusing to wear seat belt" better than you.

Of all the things that annoy me about her.

Of course not.

Of course not.

Of course not. Paxton69! is the password to all of my accounts.

Of course you didn't.

Of course you would.

Of course, but you also don't want

Of course, honey. We don't wanna interfere with your process.

Of course, I just wish we could find the jerkwad who started the rumor.

Of course, it's him. It's always been him.

Of course, we did. Life's too short not to speak to each other.

Of course.

Of course.

Of course. I mean, I sort of owe you for the fact that you got hit by a car.

Of four things without knowing what the fourth was.

Of the finest cuisine from the gas station.

Of the maharaja in many different LARPing quests.

Of you getting away with this, so I ran some numbers.

Oh damn. He gone.

Oh my God, Fab,

Oh my God, Fabiola. Malcolm Stone's here.

Oh my God, guys, it was… Pfft!

Oh my God, he showed.

Oh my God, I've got it. I will be your overbearing Indian mother.

Oh my God, Marcus! Of course I'll go with you.

Oh my God, she definitely is.

Oh my God, that is so good. She is crazy.

Oh my God! That's, like, so sad about Aneesa.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. Am I?

Oh my God. I don't think he called me his girlfriend then either.

Oh my God. I have two boyfriends.

Oh my God. She was the most annoying person in my residency.

Oh my God. The nerve of this man.

Oh my gosh, it is so nice to finally meet you!

Oh my gosh. I love this. This is my whole life now.

Oh no, little buddy. Marcus and I gotta be on the same team.

Oh no, no. Are you kidding me? Eve can't meet my mom.

Oh no! Looks like we're at the deadest of dead ends!

Oh no. Short answer? Where's the multiple choice?

Oh shit!

Oh shit! Did Devi get played?

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

Oh shit. [laughs]

Oh shit. I'm sorry. Am I talking about food too much?

Oh yeah, my b.

Oh yeah! Something classy. We're talking champagne, oysters.

Oh yeah.

Oh, and grab your keys. I need you to drive.

Oh, and I already booked us Jimmy Kimmel tickets.

Oh, and you feel that you should have been credited?

Oh, and, Tracey, we're always looking for experienced RNs.

Oh, Benny, should we get matching suits?

Oh, damn. I guess I do.

Oh, Devi, you are your father's daughter.

Oh, Devi!

Oh, do you mind just pulling up by that fire hydrant over there?

Oh, Evan, hi.

Oh, he's just a stupid teenage boy.

Oh, hey! Um, Aneesa, right?

Oh, hi.

Oh, honey.

Oh, Hugh? His family stays at my place in Tahoe.

Oh, I am dying for you to meet my other favorite mentee,

Oh, I can just scratch out king and put queen.

Oh, I could brag about you both all night, but my husband has had too much to drink.

Oh, I didn't know you were coming, Nalu. I would've made something.

Oh, I don't know.

Oh, I don't think so. I think I have a lot of homework I need to do.

Oh, I know that park. I love littering there.

Oh, I might have gotten a couple since the last time you were here.

Oh, I'm so sorry

Oh, I'm so sorry. We can't go with you. Your father and I are off to a wedding.

Oh, is… is that why you're leaving?

Oh, it is heavy and comforting.

Oh, it's like that, huh?

Oh, it's so nice to be Hold on.

Oh, looks like your adoring fans wanna talk to you.

Oh, Malcolm, I'm really sorry

Oh, man, that's too many letters. I'm old.

Oh, Nalini. I suppose Nirmala has to fix everything.

Oh, nice.

Oh, no, no, kutty, you go upstairs. You enjoy with the girls.

Oh, no. Let me guess.

Oh, okay, cool.

Oh, okay! I got I'm gonna make a quick phone call.

Oh, okay.

Oh, really? Can I leave my resume?

Oh, right! I forgot about him!

Oh, right. No swimming for you, Nemo.

Oh, she has a soccer game in Pasadena, so just you and me today, David.

Oh, she's out. She has extra Glass Menagerie rehearsals.

Oh, shit, should I say more? Shit! Sorry for saying "shit!"

Oh, shit. Now we got four for Call of Duty. Fire it up.

Oh, snap! You decided to introduce her to Eve?

Oh, sure.

Oh, that I don't know.

Oh, that's kinda cool.

Oh, tonight's gonna be so lit!

Oh, uh…

Oh, uh…

Oh, wait, I see you. Ah, there's my perfect girl.

Oh, wait, let's

Oh, what do they know?

Oh, wow! Vishwakumar, this is really impressive,

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you don't have to worry. Aneesa is way out of Ben's league.

Oh, you know,

Oh, you know, just my car, which is parked deep in the bowels of hell.

Oh, you mean a lot to me too, bro.

Oh, you two know each other? [gasps]

Oh, you want to apologize again?

Oh, you're handsome.

Oh! [laughs]

Oh! Devi, are you going?

Oh! Isn't he dreamy?

Oh! That cocky… Look at this!

Oh! Who am I kidding? This was boring as hell.

Oh! You guys need to leave this room!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. [chuckles]

Oh. [scoffs]

Oh. [sniffling]

Oh. Cool.

Oh. Cool. I… I think she's headed up here.

Oh. Hey, Rebecca. Cool fit as always.

Oh. Hey! Where's Aneesa?

Oh. Hi, Devi. Is Kamala around?

Oh. Hi. I think you should do your woodshop homework on your own.

Oh. I can't do that.

Oh. No, I just took a sip so Trent would shut up about the bouquet.

Oh. Oh no, no! My voicemails!

Oh. So handsome. Just like his grandfather.

Oh. So you'll be joining in on this too?

Oh. Thanks.

Oh. That I do. [chuckles]

Oh. That's cute that you think so, sweetheart,

Oh. Uh, about that. I kinda have to go.

Oh. Uh…

Oh. Wow. That's famously a very hard stroke.

Oh. Wow. This book has not been opened before.

Oh. Yeah.

Ojichan. [sighs]

Okay, all done.

Okay, Ben should be here soon. I'll take him to the wine station.

Okay, Ben, come on, come on. Any faster?

Okay, but you also called me "pal."

Okay, fine. Maybe I did Devi this one up, but I feel awful.

Okay, fine. Who cares? You're the ghost, dude.

Okay, first of all,

Okay, get in the chair.

Okay, I think we should start by listing the facts.

Okay, I… I appreciate that.

Okay, I'll disinvite Paxton.

Okay, I'm sorry. You win. Can we just be even now?

Okay, Kamala. You're gonna count to 100, and then you will get down.

Okay, let's get started.

Okay, let's go, you little maniac. It's nice to meet you, Manish.

Okay, let's meet the other people in the lab.

Okay, looks like we're the prosecution,

Okay, mitoshondria.

Okay, okay! Your suspension isn't over, young lady.

Okay, so I need you to do the unit six questions in my biology textbook,

Okay, so I thought we could look through my pictures of our family,

Okay, so maybe Devi wasn't a world class athlete.

Okay, something is percolating.

Okay, studs, this is our moment.

Okay, that feels like the same level of excitement you'd reserve

Okay, we got Vivek, Marshall, Kachik, Edvard, Emilio.

Okay, we gotta stop letting this kid get our hopes up.

Okay, well, I can't find it, but, uh, basically, society and stuff.

Okay, yeah.

Okay, yeah. Am I nailing this?

Okay, you're right.

Okay! Well, that's me and Eve, Eric and Rosalia,

Okay?

Okay? She would never stoop that low.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. [chuckles] Now, let's just relax.

Okay. But sometime, I'd love to have a girl hang with you.

Okay. I'll just put them on the table.

Okay. I'm gonna check on you later.

Okay. Imagine you made the discovery that the whole paper was based on.

Okay. Jeez!

Okay. So what's going on with you?

Okay. That's awesome.

Okay. Want to get zooted? I got edibles.

Okay. We can do this, Paxton. You remember what NATO is.

Okay. Well, if you need anything at all,

Okay. Yeah, I'll give that a try.

Oliver, crisis! Ask someone else.

Oliver, what about an adult soiree screams potato skins to you?

Oliver?

On her vision board for the last two years,

On my deathbed, wouldn't I be thinking about my kids and grandkids and stuff?

On the endangered species list.

On top of you moving to India?

On your feelings about history.

On your marks!

Once she pinned this rumor on someone else.

Once you all get to know each other.

One hot girl nose ring, please!

One lover out the balcony whilst the other comes through the door.

One member from each team

One minute later, he returns,

One more stop on her apology tour.

Only if you want.

Only one valuable lesson? American public schools.

Ooh, Devi! Me, you, and Ben are the defense.

Ooh, I love an overture.

Ooh, is that Eve? Are you officially girlf and girlf?

Ooh, queen!

Ooh, what do y'all think? That's creative as hell, huh?

Ooh, you should do it. I'd watch it.

Ooh! Can I come with?

Ooh! Great!

Ooh! The L Word. Are you watching the new one or the old one?

Ooh! True crime? Count me in.

Ooh. Hey, look, there's Jonah!

Or "Wow, your homemade pizza smells straight up delish"?

Or after?

Or anything that'll bring you peace.

Or dead.

Or I say goodbye to my first boyfriend and hello to being homeschooled

Or like Malcolm did.

Or maybe we could all go with you.

Or me, for that matter.

Or that boy in math class who's allergic to the sun.

Or the way she constantly brings up her semester abroad in London.

Or to watch porn.

Or was it a harmless work meeting that was taking place

Or was it for perv reasons, and I happened to be there?

Or wear an all beige outfit on a date.

Or what if I just try to explain my side of the story?

Or you gonna sit at home like a dope, eating pretzels in your underwear?

Or you know what I think that I would have a fresh take on?

Order in the court!

Oru nimisham, mama. Amma, inga vamma.

Our family values kindness over achievement.

Our library is just 100 copies of Dianetics donated by the Celebrity Centre.

Our own consciences.

Our spots are next to the dumpster where the raccoon family lives.

Outside of my house?

Over the drive by she'd had with Paxton earlier that evening.

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Ow! Trent! What the hell?

Pani puri is legit my favorite.

Pati! Oh my God, you're here!

Pati…

Paxton and Ben are both at the fancy wine station!

Paxton asked you out?

Paxton came through my window two nights in a row to make out.

Paxton had six days to ask her to the dance.

Paxton is a mixed race hottie who got scouted to model

Paxton probably won't be here for a while because cool people are always late.

Paxton was besieged by a crisis of self worth.

Paxton, do you need to use the restroom?

Paxton, dude, put a shirt on! I'm trying to make a point here.

Paxton, I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

Paxton, if you want good grades, then be a good student.

Paxton, people are going to think all sorts of things about you.

Paxton, please come back. I swear I didn't mean to hurt you!

Paxton, stop by at lunch.

Paxton, this is the first card.

Paxton, you good?

Paxton!

Paxton! Paxton, wait.

Paxton. I'm really, really sorry.

Paxton. Of course, take it away.

Paxton's also here.

Peace!

People still talk about the time she ate a banana on her way to third period.

People were asking each other to the dance.

Perfect. All right. Now, who wants to pop some bottles 'cause…

Perfect. She can join. I'm sure she won't mind your weird friend.

Perhaps, I should just start flushing money down the toilet.

Perhaps, introduce some techniques that would help you avoid

Perhaps.

Playing the evil American.

Please, come upstairs. I'm just making my special pani puri.

Please, give the school another chance.

Please, go off. Publicly humiliate me again.

Please, I need you.

Plus, I'm pretty sure PE credits don't transfer to India.

Prashant, have you given a thought

Prashant's parents called me.

Pretty excellent. I guess you're not such a jerk after all, David.

Principal Grubbs, are you serious? [scoffs]

Problem solved.

Prosecution, you may call your first witness.

Puffy.

Push me down the stairs. I'll go to the hospital and hide.

Put the Indian kids together since we're all the same.

Quality rapping. Okay, who was the first American man in space?

Ran a local sporting goods store,

Real relationships are built on honesty and trust, Devi,

Really cut Paxton to the core.

Really?

Really? He left you off?

Really? I mean, my work vibe, obviously, is more of a Jisoo,

Really? I thought I go after Rosalia.

Really? Sick!

Really? Thanks, Mr. S. I'll be there.

Really? That's terrible.

Really? Wow. That's a relief.

Regardless, her days of being a two timing girlfriend were over,

Remember when she fell in that guy's pool?

Remember when we were gonna come tonight in a sleek limo with sexy boyfriends?

Remember, he said you two don't make any sense.

Respectfully, I have no faith you can pull that off.

Restaurants are closed at this hour, so I brought a spread

Right, Eve?

Right, of course.

Right, okay, yeah.

Right!

Right?

Right?

Right? Right?

Right. I was told that my credits weren't gonna count at my high school in India,

Right. I'm thinking something more simple.

Right. Okay.

Right. You're way too scared of your mom to do it.

Rule number one, don't name drop.

Sasha, come on! That was mean!

Sat down at a typewriter and wrote an essay?

Save your little performance, Darius. I know that you did it.

Says everyone!

Says Zoe, multiple times, just in a weird way. And also me.

Screw deep breaths and voicemails!

Screw the allergy kid.

Secondly, Amma, won't you be helping me?

See? Aren't you glad I told you?

See? Legendary save.

See? The only mistake I made was letting crazy Devi drag me into her psychodrama.

Seeing my father's heart break.

Seems like you're in a fight with lots of people.

Self care is also feminist. I read that on goop.

Set your sights on someone more attainable,

Shall I sign us up for an amorous escapade?

Shall I tell you the story of how I became me?

Shame on you, Eleanor!

Sharon, we're not mother and daughter.

She ain't got no alibi! She's sorry!

She almost shaved her eyebrows because you told her it was a trend.

She called him "babe" and said that he "looked cute" when he's filthy.

She can do what she wants

She can stay wet while she thinks about what she has done in the car.

She could get back in with Ben and impress Aneesa

She couldn't stay away from school for more than ten minutes,

She couldn't stop thinking about what Dr. Ryan had said to her earlier.

She deserves more.

She didn't always get their references

She didn't feel like fleeing the country anymore.

She didn't go to the grocery store. She shopped locally.

She directed them to Mean Denise in the weight room…

She felt close to her mom for the first time in a while

She forgot to take care of one small thing before she went to bed.

She found Aneesa's spot in the lab filled by a very chatty Jonah.

She had always assumed her unpopularity was because of racism,

She had been in love with him since the third grade

She had forgotten about.

She had to get over to the school,

She had, has,

She has a real 'tude ever since her nephew got her a stainless steel fridge.

She is?

She is?

She knew how shitty it felt to be labeled the school freak.

She knew she needed proof before losing her shit.

She likes to give me notes on our conversations.

She made them for Eve, but Eve is vegan, gluten free,

She needed a jailbreak from her suspension prison.

She probably runs in more academic circles than you're used to.

She probably would have felt guilty if it weren't so exciting.

She promised herself she would be on her best behavior with Aneesa.

She realized she might've misunderstood his advice about apologies.

She really liked both Ben and Paxton,

She remembered Dr. Ryan's advice,

She should still be mourning my dad.

She taught you how to read?

She was almost alive in the 1920s.

She was also facing love triangle.

She was enjoying the feeling of exercise.

She was some sort of bet with your cool friends.

She was surrounded by overt proclamations of love,

She was the first person ever

She'd never been cocky enough to imagine having two boyfriends…

She'd rather go back to working at Jamba Juice. Let's go.

She's 73,

She's a mother. My mother.

She's a singer and the most unproblematic celesbian.

She's basically stripping!

She's coming over to dinner on Friday. Conversation over.

She's definitely gonna tell you how much she liked the movie Carol.

She's gonna love you, Aneesa.

She's my Dr. Jackson, and she sucks!

She's my inspiration and the only reason this house hasn't fallen apart yet.

She's super cool, and you're…

She's the reason I don't have

She's the reason I don't have a chance at a scholarship anymore.

She's trying so hard to be an ally, but she keeps saying the wrong thing.

She's, like, super flighty and unstable, and throws away a good man for no reason.

Sherman Oaks' second best dermatologist deserves the second best parking space.

Shira and Zoe had blabbed the rumor to half the school.

Shira's throwing a last minute hot tub party,

Shit, do we just cancel the party?

Shit! School's so repetitive.

Shit. [sighs]

Shit. What other friends do we have? Should we ask the lunch ladies?

Should I cancel our little plates?

Should I have just gotten one salsa?

Shouldn't you be, like, relishing this moment

Shut the trunk.

Shut up, dickhead. I haven't lost anything.

Sick.

Since we've come to the end of our unit on The Great Gatsby,

Since you're new, I should tell you that you're hanging out with a social grenade.

Since you're new, you should know you're hanging out with a social grenade.

Since you're no longer moving to India, that credit very much does count.

Sisterhood, Traveling Pants, et cetera, et cetera.

So after he publicly swerved you, he showed up for a sneaky link?

So are you here to study or…

So awful, just so awful!

So because of that, uh,

So by the time they figure it out,

So by Thursday morning,

So can you please just give this a chance?

So can you tutor me, like, for real?

So come hungry.

So come with me because I wanted to talk…

So could you go by after school and help him out? He loves seeing you.

So don't do that.

So figure it out.

So figured I'd bring date night to you.

So first of all, Ojichan, you were born in the United States, correct?

So guess what I did? I got his kid a drum kit for Christmas.

So guess what?

So he thought it was weird

So here are some See's.

So how can I help out, auntie?

So how much did this house cost?

So how's everything at school?

So I brought some of my dad's trial books. This is one of his faves.

So I don't know if you have any weekend plans or anything,

So I don't wanna miss any more practices.

So I figured, "What's the point?"

So I freaked out, and I'm really, really, really sorry, Aneesa.

So I guess I'm Paxton Hall Yoshida's girlfriend now.

So I had to go to a special hospital.

So I wouldn't get any ideas.

So I'll just chill on the B train until I have to go to India.

So if he sees you as his real girlfriend, he'll ask you.

So if you could, I don't know, lock her in a closet

So if you ever go karaoke ing again, I'd love to come.

So it seems like you and Devi made a pretty good little team there, huh?

So it's come to my attention

So it's not her fault.

So just for the record, it's not always been him.

So just say it normal, without the straw in your mouth.

So just to be clear. Put my head down, but keep my chin up?

So last night, I was happy to take one for the team.

So let's get back to how a boy raised among goats won a Nobel.

So let's go slurp up some frozen wine and make you into a Cricket Queen.

So like you wanna dance or something? You could say no.

So lions can't pick one out of the pack?

So literally the only thing those girls ever complimented me on was being skinny.

So make Evan feel cool, and he might give you a chance.

So make yourself proud. Okay?

So maybe before we rip them open…

So maybe I'll just, like, go there.

So nice to see both of you on this fine day.

So nobody else dance out of respect, okay?

So now I'm going to college on a you doing my homework scholarship.

So obviously this calls for a… Drum roll, please.

So out of line.

So please allow me to tell you the tale of Rivington Street's own Ruthie Gross.

So right now, she needed to throw down some metaphorical tire spikes.

So she came armed with something she hoped would offset the bad news.

So should I just do all the work and you guys say what I tell you to?

So talk to me. What's going on?

So that they're not waiting so long.

So the horrible pit in Devi's stomach

So then, he just burst into my house

So they had to be from your old school. Who do we know transferred from there?

So we need to campaign, henny!

So we need you to come back and redo them.

So we should talk about what happened.

So we'd come visit you.

So what am I even exercising for?

So what are you doing back here? Oh, did Devi get suspended again?

So what do you think? You a doofus?

So what my mom left me to be an extra on The Good Fight?

So what should I know about Sherman Oaks?

So why'd your mom make the brownies? What's the occashe?

So without further ado,

So would you maybe want to, like, come over for dinner tomorrow night?

So you don't think that I should do anything about this?

So you get back to that group

So you know about the Paxton situation?

So you still have feelings for Ben.

So you're drinking during swimming season?

So you're gonna break up with Paxton?

So you're saying I should just have two boyfriends?

So you're starting with the person who told Aneesa and working backwards?

So,

So, about Friday. It's gonna be just girls now.

So, about yesterday,

So, Aneesa, why did you transfer from a fancy private school

So, be honest,

So, Devi, can you help her feel like the people have her back?

So, Devi, tell us about your day.

So, did anything exciting happen at work?

So, did you have something you were gonna tell me or…

So, how was your useless trash picking day?

So, I have a very exciting day today.

So, I should let Ben down easy and choose Paxton.

So, I was thinking, you and me should hang out.

So, in conclusion,

So, is the test gonna multiple choice, or…

So, Kamala, we have the pleasure of the next 60 minutes together.

So, Lenny, did you ever figure out

So, like, what's up?

So, saw you talking to Neese.

So, shall we dance?

So, sister, be who you are.

So, uh, like, would you maybe want to

So, uh, Nick, tell us why you think Daisy's guilty?

So, uh, what kind of things are you into?

So, uh…

So, what was your memory of our last interaction?

So, what's going on, Devi?

So, what's up with Paxton?

So, when you're done with my English essay, you can start

So, where can we get a drink?

So, why were you crying?

So, would you maybe want to come cheer me on tomorrow

So…

Some chamomile and charged crystal?

Some of us don't have a lot of time left,

Some of your recent decisions have been totally wacko.

Some people don't like me when they first meet me.

Someone came over and was like, "Aneesa's anorexic. Isn't that hilare?"

Someone get her on Twitter. We need her realness.

Someone like Dr. Peters to think you're difficult to work with.

Someone who deserves someone super cool.

Someone's got it covered.

Something to do with my savings

Sometimes I come home dead tired from a long day at work,

Sometimes the only way to deal with them is just to play the game, you know?

Sorry about that.

Sorry to interrupt, but I did your math and your English essay,

Sorry we're late.

Sorry, but… no.

Sorry, did not mean to snap at you.

Sorry, Dr. Jackson. It won't happen again.

Sorry, having champagne. I'll turn my mic off.

Sorry, I forgot my glasses.

Sorry, she didn't tell me it was you.

Sorry, um, no one's ever asked me that before.

Sorry, we were in a hurry. Trent's mom needed the car

Sorry, you have to work with bunch of gross nerds like us.

Sorry. [chuckles]

Sorry. Malcolm didn't tell me Ben would be here.

Sort of.

Sound good?

Sounds fun! But, Pati, do you feel well?

Sounds good. I'll see you up there.

Space, the moon, counting sheep, shepherd. Alan Shepard!

Speaking of bottom,

Speaking of swallowing stuff…

Spill it, girl.

Splashing around in his hot tub. It's just… It's just crazy!

Spookier the better. 'Cause you know what?

Stop cheering. Stop cheering.

Stop trying to break us up.

Stop yelling at me! I don't have a problem with you being gay.

Stupid child.

Stupid science!

Such a good head and such broad shoulders.

Sure, I could see him as a Grantham head.

Sure, of course. [scoffs]

Sure, we do. What a surprise to see you here.

Sure. It's not like I have anything else going on.

Swim to San Diego in school.

Swimsuit photo of yourself.

Take some SPF lip balm on your way out.

Take the samples, the lip balm. There's eye cream there.

Technically, we're her bosses, thank you very much.

Technically, yeah, I'm dating both of you.

Ted, how about some fresh lemonade?

Teens don't wanna narc to a boomer.

Tell me about India.

Tell me what's upsetting you.

Text everyone you know.

Thank you for calling me in, Devi.

Thank you for stopping by.

Thank you for the time we spent together.

Thank you so much for inviting me to your house.

Thank you, Devi.

Thank you, Gail.

Thank you, Prashant.

Thank you, Sharon.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. [chuckles]

Thank you. Final voting will take place at the dance,

Thank you. That's very nice of you.

Thanks a lot. Just failed my bio test.

Thanks again for the pep talk the other day.

Thanks for being such a team player. See you around.

Thanks for helping me get my bearings today.

Thanks for pushing me, by the way.

Thanks for running lines with me.

Thanks for taking the time to make me feel special tonight.

Thanks for the apology, Devi.

Thanks for trying.

Thanks, Becca. I'm proud of you too.

Thanks, Ben.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Dad. I couldn't have done it without your help

Thanks, Dr. Ryan.

Thanks, El, for bringing all these dresses over,

Thanks, Gears.

Thanks, guys. Phew!

Thanks, Kamala. I've been a little distracted.

Thanks.

Thanks. So do you.

That a little flame burst forth from his head.

That can't be true.

That conference in Dubuque a couple years ago. Do you remember?

That cool?

That could ruin my chance to go to Princeton!

That could work,

That cut deep.

That Devi had spun for her.

That doesn't mean you don't like Malcolm.

That dog!

That guy? You mean Ben, your ex boyfriend?

That has a connection there? Anyone at all?

That has personally affected you and your family.

That he's a sexist schlub who is more dandruff than man?

That I'm in a program, and I'm doing much better,

That is an excellent idea. [chuckles]

That is emotionally rich and really beautiful.

That is extremely incorrect.

That is totally okay.

That kept speeding up.

That kid who knocked up Señora Gilbert has nothing on me.

That last one was very specific.

That makes it sound like you are dating, but you're not.

That makes me think that you're a damaged person.

That means you can O as loud as you want.

That our annual community service day is tomorrow,

That our group is the defense and Daisy, but doesn't say who should play Daisy.

That pizza making you a little thirsty, Mr. K?

That pushed the captain of the swim team in front of a car.

That required no introspection or mature decision making,

That seems like a lot of work. I'm just gonna steal a girl's hat.

That she was so forgettable to these girls.

That someone else was probably pissed at her too.

That sounded romantic, but also creepy at the same time.

That sounds nice.

That sucks. I only watched the first half of the movie.

That they forget to stop and notice what's going on with other people.

That tickle fight went on forever!

That was embarrassing.

That was like the WWE Smackdown of Indian moms,

That was sick!

That wasn't a date. Your friends were there.

That way, uh…

That we have our culprits!

That weren't commensurate with our initial hypothesis.

That will prove to Ben I'm a good person, and he'll like me again!

That wine has a cork. It's not a twist off.

That woman isn't a woman at all.

That you have been skipping PE for several weeks.

That you're not smart, that you don't belong,

That you're the handsomest man in the whole assisted living center.

That… That must have been the worst date of your entire life.

That… That right there is why I'm good at school.

That'll be cool.

That's a hard no. If you turn them on, the hallway will smell like farts,

That's a lot, but you're not crazy.

That's all everyone thinks you have to offer the world,

That's awesome, Mom, but did Dr. Jackson give you any samples?

That's awesome! And also, great job on the relay.

That's been debunked.

That's bleak.

That's gonna be tough.

That's how Jay Gatsby described Daisy.

That's intense.

That's just the way we are with each other.

That's like fake Shakespeare, right?

That's like the high school equivalent of a glass of brandy before sex.

That's literally verbatim

That's messed up.

That's my favorite.

That's my girl right there. You a baddie, Fab.

That's not even why I was calling.

That's not what happened, Devi.

That's okay. We don't have to rush.

That's Paxton!

That's really, really awesome 'cause you're in.

That's right, Trent. Contraception is cool.

That's the fun part.

That's too bad. Now I have to look at your face for the rest of the year.

That's too short.

That's what a date is by definition.

That's what his friends call him, before…

That's what I said.

That's what I thought.

That's what I thought. I was like, "Hold on, wait. Ben is sweet?"

That's what you call the ball boy at the US Open,

That's when he volunteers at Planned Parenthood.

That's why I want you to be my girlfriend, Devi.

That's why we hotheads do it, guys.

That's why you move back to the Midwest at the end.

That's Zoe. She actually wrote over, like, a couple names I think.

The amount of people that pay attention to you is low, like, shockingly low.

The assignment, do an oral presentation at the end of the week

The barfing wasn't ideal,

The biggest rack of natties out of anyone in our entire grade,

The class is called Facing History.

The court sides… Boom! With the prosecution!

The cycle of Krebs?

The dance is on Saturday. Every couple's going.

The Devi I know would never agree to be someone's secret girlfriend

The excruciating details of her non date with Paxton and his friends.

The fact that you could even suggest that, makes me feel really unseen by my partner.

The first chance she got.

The government forced over 120,000 Japanese Americans

The home wrecker he's cheating on El with!

The Joker.

The last person you want to see always walks right in.

The last thing I need is for Paxton to see that I've been crying

The last video he posted was of him putting a little snake in Trent's hair.

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

The one and only thing I agree with my boring dad and snooze fest Sharon

The one from the '80s where the guy smashes the girl's boom box

The only thing Devi was allowed to do was help out her grandmother, Nirmala.

The only thing I've gotten out of this rotation

The only toxic people I see are you two.

The person who started the rumor must've known it was true.

The point is, distance makes the heart grow fonder,

The prosecution rests.

The research we are doing today

The shopkeeper said he was out of lentils.

The sight of Ben and Aneesa going to Trent's tent!

The summers were over 100 degrees,

The sun now kisseth the horize, so 'tis time I bid you good e'en.

The support system she was uprooting her life for

The two of you have so much in common.

The Warsaw Pact, and that's a fact. See? I can rap too.

The whole point of coming out is to get to be who you are.

The wind through her hair, the soft crunch of leaves underfoot,

The women at the nursing home chase him like he's one of the Beatles!

The zoning laws in California are too loose.

Then George Wilson would not have thought Mr. Gatsby was his wife's lover,

Then if you care about them,

Then maybe you don't deserve to go.

Then she asked me to go to the club with her several times.

Then she did a crazy Beyoncé hair flip.

Then she would've gone to work

Then you better figure out a way to apologize to her,

There is an old one?

There is no time for hanging up or not speaking in this life.

There it is.

There she is!

There was a nitrous leak at the office, so I thought I'd come and see

There was obviously room enough at this school for both of

There you are.

There's a boy here?

There's a rumor you were born with one hoof.

There's a very easy way to solve this.

There's always gonna be men who take credit for your work,

There's always one about how she outsmarted some shopkeeper

There's definitely MRSA brewing in there.

There's no room for popularity on the robotics team.

There's Setseg, and there's Wally, the walrus.

Therefore, he was dead long before the bullet ever entered his body.

These are the consequences for your actions.

These two girls are both virgins.

They are won as a team,

They bought matching outfits and little wigs.

They could be from that weird hair transplant clinic.

They do. If I can bribe an uncle with a box of Thai Lime & Chili cashews,

They found Eddie outside of pre calc,

They look a little… meh!

They said they overheard it from Sweaty Tara,

They seem kind of chummy, right?

They will definitely raise the prices when they see your jewelry.

They'll invite you out, and might include you more in the lab.

They're always all over each other,

They're delicious, but not great date food.

They're like a regular blanket except it's very, very heavy.

They're making an impromptu visit to Sherman Oaks.

They're not mad at me all the time. Right?

They're there to hold our purses and look cute. [chuckles]

Things were just getting good for me here.

Think of the steps it'll add to your pedometer.

Thirty minutes before you run, you're supposed to eat as much as you can.

This bitch has got to go.

This could be good for you though.

This date was going to be awesome.

This dinner was strictly professional!

This doesn't look like a froyo place. Is it a pop up?

This dress is really padded. I'm fine. Are you here as my friend or as my…

This dude is trash!

This had gone too far.

This is a field full of trash in Pacoima.

This is definitely a date.

This is Eve, my girlfriend.

This is insane.

This is insane. I'm out.

This is just like the time in 1979 when I won the US Open Doubles title

This is like where bad teens get chainsawed to death.

This is my grandfather, Theodore Yoshida.

This is my last chance for an American high school boyfriend.

This is not a negotiation.

This is so undignified.

This is the home where I raised Mohan.

This is weird. I'm gonna go back downstairs.

This is worse than when you punched that vending machine.

This is your one chance to hook up with a Paxton,

This little baby is gonna be published in the Journal of Cellular Biology!

This might be the moment that I can be the principal I've dreamed I could be.

This place was more sexed up than the Olympic Village,

This right here is freedom.

This sucks a butt.

This teen had offered up her virginity to him

This teenager was thirsty for answers.

This ten year old boy was able to give me a compliment.

This was gonna have to be the fastest mile of Devi Vishwakumar's entire life.

This was just a halal moment of rebellion.

This was supposed to be Aneesa's fresh start.

This was the worst breakup ever.

This week has been the best.

This will be good. I want you to have an Indian friend for once.

Those texts of Malcolm's, they were from his agent about a role.

Those two were two peas in a pod, and I was Mommy, the workaholic.

Thought maybe we can hang out, but, uh, it seems like you're busy.

Three, two, one.

Three. Wait, you came to the dance for me?

Thus, the defendant is incontestably…

Time to get you some new gal pals, Eleanor.

To a dump like Sherman Oaks?

To all of the other students who looked like us.

To be not guilty.

To be South Asian girls in a country that only celebrates western beauty.

To Devi something up will mean to make something better forever.

To do another thing I pay taxes for.

To eat Domino's on our couch

To ensure that her grandmother would never know she was missing.

To fund pro bono surgeries at the Children's Hospital? Mm hmm.

To get some extra lentils.

To get their acts together.

To get to her job as an illusionist at The Magic Castle.

To get your final approvesies, and once everybody signs off,

To go get a face piercing at Jerry's Tats & Holes?

To handle stressful situations in a mature, rational

To have an Indian friend who gets me

To have an Indian kid be this obsessed with being at school.

To have your teachers constantly mispronounce your name,

To help me get into college.

To how many children you would like to have?

To keep playing a fourth grader.

To live in internment camps.

To make some of her famous neer dosas for dinner tonight…

To my dad's car dealership buying a full page ad in the yearbook.

To narrate the story of a 16 year old boy?"

To pay the school's legal fees for that slip and fall case.

To the familiar face of Trent in Spanish class.

To win the Bevins Surgical Award as a resident.

Today I start my new PhD rotation for, get this, Dr. Elgin Peters' lab.

Totally. I mean, 'cause if I didn't, that'd be pathetic of me, right?

Trent, I'm right here! You should not be admitting to that.

Trent, what is this?

Trent! You crazy…

Trust me, by the end of the day,

Trust me. Just think of the possible people.

Try not to die.

Trying to figure out who made up the rumor about Aneesa.

Tutor and tutee seems like a much more natural relationship between us.

Two things Devi hated.

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh!

Ugh! Another slow song? This is like the third one in a row.

Ugh! Can't I write an essay about the history of track and field instead?

Ugh! Only an asshole would smile during a test.

Ugh! This Trader Joe's puttanesca keeps falling out.

Ugh! What rubbish is this?

Ugh. Sharon, what are you doing here?

Uh Eh Okay. So, Paxton and me versus you two?

Uh huh, and I should probably be the other lawyer.

Uh huh, uh huh, and here's my thought.

Uh, Ben and I are old Hebrew school comrades.

Uh, Daisy Buchanan is innocent of these charges because…

Uh, for the, uh, back end of my phone call.

Uh, he said, "Email is broken."

Uh, hey, what's up? I'm Aneesa.

Uh, hey. What are you doing here?

Uh, how was your, uh… your conversation with Gail?

Uh, I am.

Uh, I can go. I'm ready for my presentation.

Uh, I don't know what to say. I play soccer.

Uh, I don't know. She could spin that into a pretty good essay.

Uh, I was actually going to call you back, but the day just got away from me and, uh…

Uh, I'm parked in front of P.F. Chang's,

Uh, I'm parked in front of P.F. Chang's, but…

Uh, if you're looking for Trent, he's over there peeing on a dead skunk.

Uh, is it that heroic to drive slowly from the Valley to the Westside?

Uh, is this a sign up list?

Uh, it was fine.

Uh, it was kind of a special day. We spread my dad's ashes in Malibu.

Uh, it's a lot of work to act only with your eyes.

Uh, it's the Winter Dance. [chuckles]

Uh, Monday, Wednesday, Friday I have robotics practice after school.

Uh, nah uh! There's no "Crazy Aneesa."

Uh, Nirmala Mami?

Uh, no. No! No, of course not.

Uh, normal teen stuff.

Uh, oh, wait, I see you. Ah, there's my perfect girl.

Uh, oh, wait, I see you. Ah! There's my perfect girl.

Uh, she's the head of Derm at UCLA where she was my mentor.

Uh, thank you for that and… and the spot.

Uh, that's because I just got cast as the voice of Babe

Uh, the question is, "Who is Villanelle?"

Uh, very poor, kanna. My whole body is in constant agony.

Uh, well, if you must know, I am going to Dr. Morales's retirement party.

Uh, wow. That's so dark and twisted.

Uh, yes, please do.

Uh, you know who is going?

Uh, you're not mad, are you?

Uh, zero?

Uh.

Uh…

Uh…

Uh… I guess there was that one time I accidentally swam to San Diego.

Uh… Right. Right.

Uhp uhp uhp, Speed Racer, where are you going?

Um, Ben…

Um, but, uh, I…

Um, dinner was… was delicious, and… and so appreciate you cooking for me.

Um, does a peroxisome obtain membrane constituents

Um, I actually don't wanna ride in the limo,

Um, I don't know his name, but he was drinking a large iced cappuccino

Um, I don't know if you know,

Um, I noticed that you guys were at karaoke last night.

Um, I'm here at the mall to pick you up.

Um, no, not Paxton and Zoe.

Um, so some of you may not know this, but I'm half Japanese.

Um, you think you're gonna have a date?

Um…

Um…

Um… I guess.

Understood. [sighs]

Unfortunately, her arrival was given all the celebration of an Amazon package.

Unfortunately, when you've been romantically unsuccessful

Unfortunately, with Ben on her mind,

Unless you're a teacher. In that case, this is just a study hall.

Until everyone else went home.

Until I get somebody talking.

Until somebody finds a pregnancy test in the toilet

Va, ma.

Very good at kissing.

Very much so.

Wait a minute. Is there a roof on the bottom of it too?

Wait until you see what the PTA does for the Winter Dance.

Wait, am I not allowed to be?

Wait, are you mad at me or something?

Wait, do you usually come hang out at my house when I'm not home?

Wait, I didn't steal your hat.

Wait, I lost?

Wait, I recognize that car.

Wait, so I have to be on the same team as Denise?

Wait, so I'm here because of how good of a friend I am?

Wait, so where can I get in?

Wait, that was you?

Wait, that's what we were running for?

Wait, the school library has a queer ladies' night?

Wait, wait, you must not have heard me.

Wait, we had a trick for this one. Uh…

Wait, what?

Wait, what?

Wait, what? How am I supposed to learn all this stuff without you?

Wait, what's happening?

Wait, why are you sorry, Crazy Devi?

Wait, you complained to Dr. Peters?

Wait, you love me?

Wait! Is he nervous?

Wait.

Wait. Have you been here since you left that message?

Wait. No, they said "hilare."

Wait. Uh, why didn't you just tell me this earlier?

Wait. You wanna go to a tattoo parlor tonight?

Want a jade roller for puffiness?

Wanted a break from that pain.

Was more than Ben could bear.

Was Paxton actually not into her at all,

Was probably just the feeling of a job well done.

Was scarier than any punishment from her mom.

Was stone cold flirting with Ben freaking Gross.

Was that a slap?

Was that what her mom looked like flirting,

Was that why Aneesa wasn't at school today?

Was there any alcohol or… or kissing boys?

Was this boring ass charity event really an all night orgy?

Was two timing him with Ben Gross really screwed with his head.

Was won over by Aneesa's inviting personality.

Was, in fact, not in India, but in her imagination.

Watch it.

Watch the screen and you'll know, Shira.

We actually had a very civilized conversation about motherhood.

We all get to work together. Isn't that tight?

We are from Kamala's lab. I am Evan. This is Setseg.

We are going to try and decide if our favorite trust fund bae,

We are presiding over the case of the People versus Daisy Buchanan,

We are the flight attendants of the mouth.

We bail on the dance and go to Mr. Shapiro's class,

We broke up right after we signed up for this couples' cooking class,

We call Nick Carraway, the narrator of the book.

We call the defendant, Daisy Buchanan.

We can be all alone.

We don't have any evidence to support that.

We go way back. Tell me. You don't have to pretend.

We good?

We got triple sausage 'cause we're three guys. [laughs]

We got you. Forget about Malcolm. I'll be your date to the dance.

We gotta get there first so our tents aren't next to the porta potties.

We had fun with him the other night, right?

We have a problem.

We have an old spooky shed. Will that work?

We have to cook a regal feast for Kamala's proposal dinner tomorrow.

We haven't talked in almost a week, and we're best friends.

We just need to get one of them out of there.

We met at that, um,

We need to get you and Eve out among the people.

We only do Smartwater because my dad reps Aniston.

We probs shouldn't tell anyone, because it's, like, private.

We really don't need to talk about that.

We should run for Cricket King and Queen!

We should skedaddle, but it was a pleasure meeting all of you.

We should throw you a going away party while your mom's out of town.

We throw Dad's ashes in the ocean, and then boom,

We took this the day we moved to America.

We used to wear matching Clippers yarmulkes.

We were actually the first Cricket King and Queen of color.

We were just trying to be good friends.

We would like to nominate ourselves as Cricket Queens.

We'd be so lucky to have you in our community.

We'll be on your team. We heard everything.

We'll do wine tasting in the living room for Ben 'cause he's fancy,

We'll have plenty of time to spend together.

We'll have to make this time count.

We'll meet you by the car.

We'll wait until everyone's asleep and then we'll dip.

We're both constantly underestimated because people only see us as sex symbols.

We're cool.

We're gonna do a mock trial to test your knowledge.

We're good.

We're here to pick her up for the video game convention.

We're magic together.

We're not even close to even.

We're not friends, so stop pretending like we are.

We're not mad. We're just disappointed.

We're talking about a boy who usually texts the letter "K."

We're throwing a classic, sloppy, teenage rager.

We've done that 180 before.

We've got the first chair harp player. Okay? Her finger dexterity is on point!

Weird choice to wear full face makeup to this event.

Weird.

Welcome to the 24 hour relay.

Welcome to the Spurt Yurt! Sign up to hook up.

Welcome to the workforce.

Welcome.

Well said, Miss Buchanan.

Well,

Well,

Well, actually, I might not be.

Well, are you even happy about it?

Well, at least not in his corporeal form.

Well, Ben has an appreciation for fancy things,

Well, best friends don't try to sabotage each other's relationships.

Well, do you forgive her, Crazy Aneesa?

Well, everything is mediocre.

Well, have you introduced them?

Well, I don't drink FIJI.

Well, I haven't gone through anything close to what you've experienced,

Well, I know we're supposed to be enemies.

Well, I thought you said that he would never forgive you.

Well, I was actually looking for you.

Well, I'd still be cool with going to Stanford,

Well, if anyone can get him to open up, it's you.

Well, it made me want to do so too.

Well, it means you care.

Well, it's a good thing you have a pushy Indian mother.

Well, Lenny's queer. Did it help him when we lost to East Encino last week?

Well, let me just dispense some knowledge into your brain. It was 13 days.

Well, look who's talking. I noticed all those hearts on the cast.

Well, maybe it was a misunderstanding. Malcolm's a very passionate texter.

Well, maybe just a little. [laughs]

Well, of course, it's your time.

Well, that was a fine observation,

Well, that's really cool, sweetheart,

Well, there's drama here too.

Well, this is a charity event, and you are, after all, a charity case.

Well, this is great because Ben's into me, and I'm into him.

Well, this is probably gonna be worse for both you and me.

Well, well, well, you and Malcolm!

Well, well, young lady.

Well, what do you say, mon petit croissant?

Well, what you did was pretty messed up.

Well, who knows? Maybe I'll get one tonight.

Well, why don't we just hang out in here, you and me?

Well, yeah, I was waiting because I had nothing better to do.

Well, you can be good at school too. You just need to practice.

Well, you just keep your cars parked in your own gross spots.

Well, you know what? You have to simply think before you act.

Well, you won't have to think about Evan on Friday night.

Well?

Were you going in for a hug?

Were you good at the butterfly the first time you tried it?

Were you in the girls' bathroom to help me,

What a masculine drink.

What about Ben?

What about your practice?

What am I doing? What are you doing?

What am I gonna do?

What an embarrassment of riches!

What are we thinking? Meditation? Candles?

What are you doing for the Winter Dance? Are you gonna go?

What are you doing on this side?

What are you doing?

What are you gonna do at my funeral? Just have sex on top of my grave?

What are your thoughts on the marching band?

What did it mean?

What did you say? You want some lentils? Ramya! We'll make you some paruppu.

What do you mean "sort of dating"?

What do you think about going to see Jimmy Kimmel?

What do you think about sharing a limo to the Winter Dance?

What game? I don't think they play sports. We have a cabinet just for inhalers.

What happened to the Aneesa who put Ben in his place the other night?

What happened to your note cards? [scoffs]

What he texted isn't the problem.

What if I forget what Dad sounds like?

What if I leave the facts to you two,

What if I said I had multiple friends over?

What if we move to India earlier? Don't unpack your bags.

What is a boy doing in your room with the door closed?

What is this, "I don't know"? You invite her over for dinner on Friday.

What kind of doctor sells pumpkin spice body butter?

What move was Aneesa going to steal next? A playful punch to the arm?

What the frick? Why did you push me?

What the girl said in the health class video.

What the hell is going on here?

What the hell?

What the hell? [scoffs] Your tattoo was temporary?

What up, dude?

What up, Eric? I wanted to let you know that I'll be at robotics practice later.

What up, playas? Listen up.

What up, Sherman Oaks?

What urp? Your boy's ready to get slizzered!

What was she doing in this man's hot tub? Had she totally lost it?

What was she thinking?

What was that?

What was wrong with the hydraulic arm on the KX94?

What was you?

What were you doing at Dr. Jackson's office?

What would you do if you saw your mom in a car with another man,

What would you do if you were me?

What you and I have is.

What, I'm gonna let her make delicious date night foods on my dime?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? Devi!

What? From Los Angeles?

What? How is that possible?

What? How? Man, teenagers are horny.

What? I can't do that. That would be cheating.

What? I don't even know what you're talking about.

What? I'm friends with my cousin. Where are all of your Chinese friends?

What? It clearly says, "Be an ally."

What? No way, you're a Blink too?

What? No, it hasn't.

What? No!

What? No!

What? No! Look, I want to contribute. I actually read the book.

What? No! This is great news. You'll never get caught!

What? No! You and her have the exact same schedule.

What? No.

What? Really?

What? Says who?

What? She's cheating on my dad?

What? That sounds very nice.

What? We're not done with the list yet.

What? Who told you that?

What? Why?

What? Yeah, obviously! Now, how many fingers am I holding up?

What? You studied?

What? You're gonna dunk on me too?

What's a Bebe Rexha? Oh! Is that a robot like BB 8?

What's a Villanelle?

What's her last name? Where in India is she from?

What's that? Ben?

What's the hardest you ever pushed yourself in swimming?

What's the name of the military alliance

What's the word? Uh, detest?

What's up, Devi?

What's up, Jerry?

What's with the getup?

What's your ethnicity? Let me have three guesses.

What's your mom gonna say?

Whatever it was, thank you so much.

Whatever, Devi. I don't really care about it.

Whatever.

Whatever. This is a huge waste of time.

When Aneesa came here, I felt threatened by her.

When Devi and I move here, we can get you one of those.

When he was just a boy of ten.

When his family moved from Bakersfield.

When I found out a damaged printer was 80% off.

When I was redoing my samples,

When it comes to their dermatologist.

When she showed up to her parents' house in Chennai.

When the college counselor suddenly asked to see him.

When we first came to this country,

When you're making a meaningful point to completely interrupt

Whenever his mouth wasn't hoovering Aneesa's.

Whenever we asked, he shut down.

Where are you going, young lady? I'm not done lecturing you yet.

Where did that even come from?

Where he's arranged more petals

Where she made the hottest boy in school get hit by a car.

Where the hell is she at?

Where would they even do it anyway?

Which cells had the greatest tendency for clonal self renewal.

Which I was not. I was five.

Which is going great, by the way. The scratches on your face are hilare.

Which is probably why I never talked about it until now.

Which is what Devi planned to be

Which is why I broke up with her today.

Which is why I have to cram in all of my American high school dating now.

Which means sometimes you're gonna hurt a lot,

Which meant she had to beast the shit out of this mile.

Which one? There's been four.

Which turns nutrients into chemical energy.

Which ultimately led to his demise.

Which you definitely will, B T dubs. Everyone's voting for you.

Which, apparently, I have to put on all by myself now.

While Ben did seem less furious at her,

While I really loved my visit…

While in the audience at The Price is Right.

While my wife is receiving professional awards.

While Shapiro was out eating an açaí bowl.

Who cares what Paxton thinks?

Who cares?

Who cares? It's not that big of a deal!

Who do we love? Who do we hate?

Who drives around in a magical limo.

Who else should we invite?

Who even cares about dates?

Who I suspect her of dating. But I need proof.

Who is realizing her mom is on a date. Yikes!

Who isn't? I'm such a Rosé!

Who needs all that flash?

Who slays both people and amazing fashion looks.

Who steals ideas of those who work under him.

Who the hell is that?

Who used to play favorites with Devi for obvious cultural reasons,

Who was housing a Sloppy Joe in the cafeteria.

Who's a woman, and not a bitter, untalented man

Who's Aneesa?

Who's brave enough to face their own history?

Who's this harlot Isabella?

Whoa, Crazy Devi, are you asking Paxton to the dance?

Whoa, Devi, did you get a nose ring?

Whoa, Devi! Why do you look like that?

Whoa, don't be so tough on Eleanor.

Whoa, hey, I… I'm sorry, I was just kidding around.

Whoa, hyaluronic acid. Score.

Whoa, I've never finished the Saturday puzzle in under 20 minutes!

Whoa, is that a Maybach? Sick!

Whoa, is that a Patek Philippe watch? Damn, I don't even have one of those.

Whoa, she's not a damaged person, Malcolm. That's a little extreme.

Whoa, that was your party? I heard about that.

Whoa, that's amazing!

Whoa, you might go to Stanford?

Whoa!

Whoa! I've never met a rebellious Indian kid before. Go off!

Whoa! Watch out!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoa. Dr. Jackson?

Whoa. Wait, so you guys are done?

Whoever said that is probably just jealous of you.

Whom they found making out in the bleachers.

Whoops! Did I just hit you in the boob?

Whose mom insisted she wear a full sweat suit to every pool party.

Whose naked body do you want to be picturing?

Why are you being nice to me?

Why are you being nice to me?

Why are you crying?

Why are you even trying? She owes us an apology.

Why are you in here?

Why are you looking at me?

Why are you looking for Devi?

Why can't it be more like swimming?

Why can't you be more like your cousin, the weed dealer?

Why can't you be more like your cousin? Hmm? Hmm?

Why didn't you pick me to be your partner? I thought we had like something going on.

Why do you care if Zoe's with Paxton?

Why do you have a little man made of trash lying around?

Why do you think I brought your grandmother then?

Why don't they just go at it on the lab table?

Why don't we compromise?

Why don't you ask her, kanna?

Why don't you meet me out front?

Why don't you wait right there?

Why hasn't anyone ever told me about it?

Why is she so excited? Who even wants to go to a 24 hour relay?

Why is the Ganesh statue askew?

Why not let Gokul help you?

Why the water fountains smell like human excrement.

Why would you do something that could hurt them?

Why would you interrogate him? He wasn't even at the relay on Saturday.

Why would you park down there when you have a spot right here?

Why would you say "boys" plural?

Why? Do you think the two men who live next door need all these oranges?

Why? I thought your mom's supportive of your relationship.

Why? It felt awful.

Why? Was that wrong?

Why? What's happening?

Why'd we think we could pull this off?

With a tub of popcorn and a FIJI Water from your dad's home office?

With both Aneesa and Eleanor,

With Devi's new mission to win over Aneesa,

With my super religious cousin, Shahrukh.

With no assurances that she would get one of her own.

With the best peer tutor in the entire school.

Without seeing my own failure.

Without your judgment.

Women should support other women. What else did we march for?

Wonderful. I do love painting on a virgin canvas.

Word? Guess what? We're not trying George Wilson, okay?

Would lead back to her.

Would you be open to being tutored?

Would you mind washing out those beakers there?

Would you prefer to be complicit in queer erasure?

Would you punish me by sending me off to a boarding school?

Would you, uh, maybe want to show a fellow actor around? Hmm?

Wow, all right. You know what? Just for that,

Wow, and you think the best way to look out for Eleanor

Wow, Devi. I'm impressed that you've been able to take your rage problem

Wow, dude, that reaction was kind of weird.

Wow, he's really handsome.

Wow, it seems like we made a lot of progress today.

Wow, really? So do you think I have a chance of getting into college?

Wow, this is a real vibe.

Wow, you are crazy!

Wow, you are crazy!

Wow, you really look like a pervert.

Wow, you weren't kidding.

Wow, you're, like, really hurt, bruh.

Wow! Is Wolverine your patient?

Wow! Well, okay.

Wow.

Wow. She's still pissed. I keep texting her, and she won't respond.

Wow. That's what you care about?

Wow. You're taking so many snacks to India.

Wow. You've been awfully heroic recently.

Y'all, I have put together the dopest social schedule for you two.

Ya bish! [laughs]

Yeah, and she cries into her Trapper Keeper!

Yeah, and we always sell so many sports bras during your shifts.

Yeah, and we want you to know that if you don't go to college,

Yeah, because I'm not fake,

Yeah, because you're dragging me away from the only home I've ever known.

Yeah, Ben's right. I made up an acronym to help us remember the order.

Yeah, but full blown hatred is kind of a comfortable place for us.

Yeah, but he was talking about Walden Pond.

Yeah, but I'm not smart.

Yeah, but like, who are you even

Yeah, Coyote Girl cheated on you with that Young Sheldon looking dude,

Yeah, Devi, Trent's opening up a Shiraz.

Yeah, did you not see the sign?

Yeah, fine.

Yeah, Gears Brosnan is your emergency contact.

Yeah, he said he'll only be with me in secret.

Yeah, he was the star of The Stretched Out World of Kyle French.

Yeah, he was wearing gray sweatpants the other day at drop off.

Yeah, he… he was a little boy there.

Yeah, I actually don't want you to do my homework anymore.

Yeah, I do. Why would I take you on a date if I didn't like you?

Yeah, I don't know if anyone really cares about Cricket King and Queen anymore.

Yeah, I don't like this.

Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna need tutoring anymore actually.

Yeah, I guess I just wanted to say

Yeah, I guess so.

Yeah, I know! How are we gonna tell her?

Yeah, I know.

Yeah, I know. I'll break up with Oliver.

Yeah, I really wish he had not done that. [chuckles]

Yeah, I think you're in need of some family assistance.

Yeah, I thought that maybe he would help.

Yeah, I was doing this spot on impression of Neo in The Matrix, dodging bullets,

Yeah, I'd be down not to interact with your mom ever again.

Yeah, I'll get her in a sec.

Yeah, I'll help you study,

Yeah, I'm gonna… roll.

Yeah, I'm learning a lot about Darius.

Yeah, I'm Muslim.

Yeah, I'm not gonna take social advice

Yeah, I've just been busy with this Cricket Queen stuff.

Yeah, it's the one with Leo in it.

Yeah, let's go to the dance. That was awesome!

Yeah, man. Sounds good.

Yeah, my family has a plot next the Kravitzes.

Yeah, my weekend was tight.

Yeah, no swimming for me.

Yeah, no, I… I really like her.

Yeah, none of those things help you with the beer part.

Yeah, of course! [laughs]

Yeah, okay. Hey, are you into bitcoin drama and anime deep cuts?

Yeah, okay. Yeah, that could work.

Yeah, right!

Yeah, right. Aneesa's like Devi 2.0.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

Yeah, that makes total sense.

Yeah, that's him.

Yeah, that's not great.

Yeah, the other thing.

Yeah, there'll be no more of that.

Yeah, too supportive.

Yeah, unfortunately,

Yeah, we can't all just spend every night hanging out with our robots.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you better ice those lips, Devi.

Yeah, you did.

Yeah, you know. I get it from you.

Yeah, you let your temper get the best of you, man.

Yeah, you really Devi'd this one up.

Yeah, you were really rude,

Yeah, you'll go down in the Sherman Oaks Hall of Fame

Yeah, your college counselor called,

Yeah, Zoe said there was a crazy girl there

Yeah! And how about the time

Yeah! It was halal as hell.

Yeah! Probably! I've never seen her eat a damn thing!

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Yeah? Okay. If you get a nose ring, I'll get a tattoo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. 'Sup, Sash?

Yeah. But let's go to your house.

Yeah. He dumped me over text.

Yeah. How do you normally eat dinner with people?

Yeah. I get it, Fab. Move along.

Yeah. I left because Trent was barfing on our date.

Yeah. I set a school record.

Yeah. I'm dating Paxton.

Yeah. I'm really sorry my dress almost suffocated you.

Yeah. Like, in a month.

Yeah. No problem.

Yeah. Of course!

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Seems like they know how to make their own fun.

Yeah. Those earrings are giving me grandma back from a cruise vibes.

Yeah. We've been saying that about you for years.

Yeah. Why, is that weird?

Yeah. Would you wanna go to the dance with me?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm… I'm great, man.

Yeah…

Yep! I'm fine.

Yep.

Yep. Eve took me shopping.

Yep. I find it's a peaceful place to sit with my thoughts,

Yes, and I am so, so sorry.

Yes, I can, due to his age.

Yes, it is. Please, I'm desperate for any sort of gossip.

Yes, it was, and she deserved it. You do not talk to your mother that way!

Yes, multiple times.

Yes, of course!

Yes, of course.

Yes, please! I got some raw oysters in my backpack to get us in the mood.

Yes, we did.

Yes, we won!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! You too, weird actor kid with too many rings.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Fabiola, don't look so shocked.

Yes. I bet you're surprised to see me in such an academic circle.

Yes. I don't know if Evan told you, but I was the one who realized

Yo yo yo!

Yo, I'm bummed. I'm gonna go on the roof.

Yo, that reaction was good.

Yo, why is that kid Ben such a dick to you?

Yo, you're blocking the screen!

Yo! I drank a whole Slurpee on the way over, and I gotta wazz!

Yo! We still on for tutoring this week?

Yoink!

You abandoned us for your pursuit of popularity.

You are

You are crazy, Devi.

You are the best mom ever.

You better come 'cause I can't learn this crap without you.

You better not be kissing any more boys.

You both love peace.

You came to the dance.

You can go now! I love you.

You can have your name on the paper…

You can take that test again.

You can't be serious. You're gonna climb in here after what you did to me today?

You can't see it from my house,

You cannot go to a tattoo parlor in the middle of the night! It's not safe!

You care about school.

You could do what a lot of teen stars do and punch a photographer.

You could have warned me before I bought four portions of cauliflower.

You definitely have an undiagnosed mood disorder.

You definitely have to choose. I mean… [laughs]

You deserve Daniel Day Lewis

You did good.

You did what? That's fraud.

You didn't do an extra credit project?

You didn't even slow your pace out of politeness!

You don't have the guts.

You don't have to live here, you know?

You don't have to say anything right now, but…

You don't have to tell us.

You don't know him like I do.

You don't look fine. You look…

You don't mean to ruin lives, but you keep doing it!

You don't want me at your dinner?

You dropped pencil.

You flew all the way here, and I'm cleaning up after my lab mates.

You go in the back and see Jerry.

You go.

You good, bro?

You got it. Yup.

You guys came even after I said those terrible things to you.

You guys friends? She's dope.

You had a big loss, and the hurt that comes from that

You had to work late every night,

You have 20 minutes, give or take.

You have 99 more terms left to learn before your test on Monday.

You have a cramp.

You have the best dad in the world, and you don't appreciate him at all.

You have the flashcards. That's the hard part.

You have to go above and beyond.

You have to look snatched for when you get Cricket Queen,

You have two boyfriends and are about to throw the sickest rager.

You just brought shame to your whole family.

You just get a team together. You're doing the relay.

You just say yes.

You keep calling me that, but I'm so far from perfect.

You kissed Ben Gross?

You know how hard it is to be a single mother?

You know how I was left off my research paper?

You know how it is with rich, private school girls.

You know I actually went to the premiere of Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby?

You know it!

You know what else used to be illegal? Being a lesbian.

You know what would be better than texting with him?

You know what you're doing with those bedroom eyes.

You know what?

You know what? A student should lead the investigation.

You know what? Maybe this Indian girl will be a good influence on you.

You know what? No!

You know what? Something very unexpected actually did happen at work.

You know what? That does remind me.

You know what? There's no need for that, Dr. Jackson.

You know you didn't have to do that, right?

You know, a lot of people see law as stuffy and boring,

You know, because you teach me stuff in a fun way, like a Muppet.

You know, I worked as hard as I could,

You know, I've learned an important lesson.

You know, just hang back. Work at the store with me.

You know, my TV show recently ended, so I'm back at normal school.

You know, the last conversation I had with Mohan was a fight.

You know, the show where the kid and his dad drive a magical limo?

You know, you don't have to answer that. Let me get the dessert first.

You listen to me, child,

You look very nice.

You look very, very pale.

You made me feel so…

You may be asking yourself,

You may remember that women only just got the right to vote in 1920.

You may stay on the team, Fabiola, but under my rule.

You might as well just pour it straight into the toilet.

You might have to face the possibility that you might not swim for Stanford.

You must do what is the best for your family.

You must've dropped it while running.

You need a dress, squirlfriend.

You need a ride?

You need to disinvite him.

You never let anyone get in the way of what you want.

You never take no for an answer, do you?

You okay? Seems like torture out there.

You only walked like two feet away.

You opened a textbook?

You probably have, like, a really handsome boyfriend, huh?

You really hurt him.

You really sound like a hip, young, gay woman.

You rejected me in front of your friends.

You said that the last eight practices. I've talked about it in therapy.

You say, "Yes." Otherwise, you are a complete doofus.

You see, what you have are college athlete grades,

You should be proud of yourself.

You should come to our house and watch Carol sometime.

You should find a way to apologize to Aneesa.

You should know we're dating the same person.

You should totally, totally text him.

You should've came to queer ladies' night at The Library. It was lit.

You should've texted us right after! Or during!

You shouldn't be setting me up.

You skip Monday and Wednesdays practices?

You started a rumor, then you lied to your principal,

You still have to clean out your grandmother's CPAP machine.

You still plan to work when you come to India?

You think he's gonna propose?

You think so?

You think?

You told him to take his toned ass straight to hell, right?

You too, Kamala.

You totally walked right by me at the play.

You try and give this to me every time. It's a box of books you don't want.

You turn around and date another man!

You two are going, right?

You two know each other?

You wanna blow some shit up?

You want to know about my work day?

You went to a bar? Like an alcohol bar for adults?

You were a decent human being for seven seconds, and I'll take that.

You were fluent in Japanese by the time you were five.

You were right. If I'm going to college, I want to earn it.

You were still considered a foreign threat.

You what? But I invited Paxton already.

You will forget me just like your brother.

You would know them if you came and saw

You wouldn't know it by looking at me,

You yelled at me like I was a stupid child.

You… You… [chuckles]

You'd never! You're always talking about being buried in a ******* cemetery.

You'll be the hero of the family.

You'll come stay with us, just like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

You'll definitely never work on the Disney Channel again.

You'll do better next time. Just…

You're a huge step up from Malcolm.

You're anorexic? Sorry to hear that.

You're basically the closest thing I have to a sister.

You're defending her when she emotionally battered me?

You're Devi's mother?

You're gonna be in the journal, and you're gonna be in the journal!

You're gonna be the prosecution, defense, witnesses and so forth.

You're gonna feel real bad if I can't get into college.

You're in my house.

You're just hurting, and you might even be a little depressed.

You're just my stepmom.

You're kind of a bad boy, huh?

You're kind of a pain, but I think your heart's in the right place.

You're lucky I'm jet lagged.

You're making a difference, Lyle.

You're making Devi do your homework?

You're moving to India? Like, forever?

You're no longer invited to my Settlers of Catan tournament.

You're not dumb.

You're not moving the left joystick.

You're not supposed to click A, and you're not doing it.

You're not the worst, you know that?

You're not.

You're on.

You're planning Devi's going away party?

You're pretty smart

You're right. You should live where Mohan lived.

You're rude to Kamala and constantly scheming to make her ugly.

You're supposed to be on my side, Doc!

You're the captain, and robots are your whole brand.

You're the only girl in the lab,

You're welcome, Devi.

You're welcome.

You're welcome.

You've been running sub six minute miles all day.

You've gotta be kidding me.

You've never even been in a real one,

You've never once asked me about that.

You've now ensured my final week here is about how much of a freak I am.

You've really turned it around!

You've sentenced her to a mid tier Division III liberal arts school.

Your boy crushed the first draft of our paper,

Your boy needs some ink!

Your butt may look right and tight, but you know you didn't earn it.

Your Cricket Queen and Cricket Queen are…

Your daughter in law here got a boyfriend five minutes after your son died!

Your father will always be a part of you.

Your father's ashes have barely begun to drift out to sea.

Your Honor, Daisy Buchanan is the reason we are here today,

Your lack of social media presence has once again saved the day.

Your mother in law is exhausting,

Your mother is an adult,

Your mother just told us that she was abandoning us!

Your nurse said you were busy.

Your reaction to my reaction to their reaction just made my life, bruh.

Yup. I lied to you.

Yup. So, Aneesa, who's the first person that told you about the rumor?

["Roll With Me" playing] [Mr. Kulkarni] What the…?

[all cheering] [laughs]

[all murmuring] [girl] Yeah, right?

[all murmuring] [Trent] I forgot all about that!

[all sigh] [chuckling] Oh.

[Aneesa] Stop. [Ben] What?

[Aneesa] What? That's so cool! [Ben laughing] Yeah. I know.

[beaker shatters] No, no!

[Ben gulps] It says here

[Ben reading] Ben said he just pulled up.

[Ben] Flip, flip! Whoo!

[Ben] Oh, really? That's exactly what

[Ben] Oh! Excuse me!

[Ben] Yeah! Whoo!

[both laugh] Literally, it was so

[both] Yeah! But…

[brakes screeching] [screams]

[brakes screeching] [thudding]

[breathes deeply] What are you talking about?

[chattering on TV] [phone ringing]

[chuckles] [Eleanor] Mm.

[chuckles] [Mr. Kulkarni] Thank you, prosecution.

[chuckles] Hmm. Wait, is that a picture of your son?

[chuckles] I'm gonna keep him.

[chuckles] Okay.

[chuckles] Yeah. [laughs]

[dance music playing] [whirring]

[Devi] Hi, Mrs. Wong. Hi.

[Devi] Whoo! Yeah, nice!

[door closes] Damn, player.

[door opens] [Ben] Warning!

[door opens] [Malcolm] So check it out.

[door slams] [bell ringing]

[doorbell rings] Maybe she was overreacting.

[elevator door opens] After you.

[exhales] [car door opens, closes]

[exhales] [Devi] Paxton?

[exhales] [muffled voice] Devi! Oh my God, Devi.

[explodes] [both] Oh!

[explodes] Oh yeah!

[explodes] Oh!

[explodes] Oh! [laughs]

[feedback] Get set!

[gasps] Ah! Oh. Sorry.

[giggles] [Devi] You know what?

[girls chuckle] So? I've seen Antoine since I was five.

[groaning] [McEnroe] Don't worry, he's not dead.

[groans] Come on! Come on.

[grunts] [Devi screams]

[Hadid] Oh, sweetie… [chuckles]

[helicopter hovering] Oh. So it is. Good eye.

[Jonah] I'm so disappointed. [Marcus] I know.

[knock on door] Yeah?

[knocking on door] [Ben] Devi! Let me in!

[knocking on door] [door opens]

[knocking on door] It's open.

[knocking] [music stops]

[knocking] Prashant?

[laptop chimes] Damn it.

[laughing] She was literally blocking the screen.

[laughing] Boom! [laughs]

[laughing] I really like your jacket! No! [laughing] Yeah.

[laughs quietly] [knocking on door]

[laughs] [class] Ugh!

[laughs] [Devi fake laughs]

[laughs] [Devi sniffs]

[laughs] [footsteps approaching]

[laughs] [knock on door]

[laughs] [phone chimes]

[laughs] I gotta be fresh for tomorrow.

[laughs] I'll be in the living room.

[laughs] Oh, I did.

[laughs] You are smart enough to go to college.

[laughs] Oh. [Aneesa laughs]

[laughter continues] [Aneesa] Oh my God! Boy, you better stop!

[male voice] You're a star. Huh?

[man] Check. Hello. A little too much champagne,

[McEnroe] But today wasn't the day. Mmm.

[metal thuds] [music stops]

[Mohan] Ah! Move over, Paula Abdul. [chuckles]

[Nalini] Goodbye, girls. [door opens, closes]

[opens can] For the rest of our lives, baby!

[phone chimes] [knocking]

[phone chimes] [Nalini] Just…

[phone vibrating] [Mom] I love you and Devi,

[phone vibrating] Believe it or not, I relate to this kid.

[phone vibrating] Come on.

[school bell ringing] …or smart enough to juggle them.

[school bell ringing] [band playing]

[school bell rings] Huh.

[school bell rings] Okay, cool POV, Darius.

[school bell rings] Salutations, my protégés.

[school bell rings] Scholars, bad news.

[scoffs] I guess Paxton loves Downton Abbey.

[Setseg] Yeah! Kamala, can I chat with you for a second?

[sighs] [doorbell rings]

[sighs] [Trent] Harsh, dude.

[sighs] So, Ben's still mad at you, huh?

[sighs] Yay.

[sighs] You think the whole country of Russia

[sighs] You honestly don't mind? No, I'm good.

[slams door] Yup. Well, see you around.

[snaps fingers] Oh! What?

[snoring] [McEnroe] And she's out.

[spraying] What?

[squeals] [Aneesa laughs]

[students cheering] Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

[sucks in air] [Trent] Ooh.

[tablet chiming] Yes! [chuckles]

[thunder rumbling] [rain pattering]

[Trent] That was awesome! [groans] [Paxton] Yes.

[typing] [school bell ringing]

[video game beeping] [chuckles]

[whirring] Gears!

[whirring] Oh, queen.

♪ Boom, boom ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪

Aah! Whoa, are you okay?

Ah. [Cheryl chuckles]

And I feel unsafe in ripped jeans. I know all that.

And to think you almost didn't get any. Mm.

Apple. Okay.

Are you deaf? Get up! Let's go! [bell ringing]

Are you down to join the team? Uh, for sure.

Arigato, Ojichan. Mmm.

at Sherman Oaks [music stops]

Aw, do it a little more. Oh! Yes! [Devi] Yes!

Awesome. Awesome. Okay.

Because Zoe's not dating Paxton? Says who?

Big yes! Love it.

Boom. [chuckles]

Bye. "Bye."

Can I ask you something? Sure.

Can I get a facial? No, Devi.

Can I talk to you for a sec? Mm hmm.

Can you imagine that kid banging [laughing] You're a monster.

Cancel week of? That's freaking hurtful. Yeah.

Check it out. [Devi] You got a "B."

Come in, come in! [McEnroe] Are you kidding me?

Come on! Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

Come through, robotics team! [laughs]

Come, come, come! So nice to see you.

Come, come. Sit, sit. [chuckles] Thank you.

Cool. I know, right? [chuckles]

Damn, this night is getting fun as hell! Right?

Damn! Whoa!

Devi! Yo, Mr. K.

Devi's right! I am?

Did I fall asleep on my homework again? Yes. You drooled all over your maths.

Didn't need to know that. What's wrong, buddy? You seem down.

Do her siblings attend Ivies? I don't know.

Do you want to come? [Fabiola] Sure. Yeah.

Do you want to share a milkshake? Sharon!

Dope! [all cheering]

Dr. Vishwakumar. Yes, Ms. Warner. How are you?

Dude, you got it! Ha!

Eleanor! Guys, we're so [gasps]

Eleanor's not weird. Oh please.

Ew! Don't "ew" me!

Excuse me. [chuckles] [Nalini chuckles]

Excuse? We're good,

Go, Oliver! Any day now.

Go! Oliver! Go, go, go, go!

Go. Devi! I'm not ready!

God! Come on! The foam is tickling my nose.

Guess so. I wonder what that's gonna be like.

Have you tried a Gravity Blanket before? No.

He asked me what I liked, and I panicked! [all laugh]

He did? [Devi] Hmm.

He doesn't fart. [Fabiola] No.

He doesn't! Never in his life! [Fabiola] Who doesn't fart?

He still hasn't asked you yet? No. I keep getting my hopes up.

Heard you're not moving to India anymore. Yeah! My mom decided we should stay, so…

Hello, Gail. Hi.

Hello, I'm Noor. [Nalini] Hi.

Hello? [Ms. Warner on phone] Hi, Paxton.

Hello? Hey, sorry.

Here, eat something. Oh, oh, oh.

Here. Do you want to copy them down? Nah, man, I'm good. I studied.

Hey, babe. Hey.

Hey, hey! She's sorry! Whoo!

Hey, it's okay. You got this. [sighs]

Hey, Ojichan? Yeah?

Hey! [exhales]

Hey! Chris Jackson.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Paxton? What are you doing here?

Hey… [sobbing]

Hi, Amma! [gasps]

Hi. [exhales]

Hi. Hi.

Hmm. [chuckles]

Hmm. But I'm more impressed that you're right.

Hmm. Let's go. Come.

Hmm. Okay.

Honestly, it's a little racist. What?

How could you move on so quickly? I haven't moved on, kanna, at all.

How do we turn on the sprinklers? I don't know! God, I am so

How long was the Cuban Missile Crisis? Twelve days. Ow!

Huh? I am just not having dinner with you.

Huh? I need you

Huh. My mom will threaten me with bodily harm

I agree. Thank you, Kamala! [laughs gently]

I brought Tarts for my favorite tutee. Thank you.

I can't. I'm bailing. I'm bailing. [laughs]

I cannot believe you're retiring. No. Oh, I know.

I do like the way Carlton dances. [both laugh]

I don't think so, man. I can explain.

I have to raise my grades. Yeah.

I hope you don't ignore me like that. Nirmala has been calling me

I know you're disappointed. Yeah.

I know, and I won't do it again. [Nalini] Yeah, you better not.

I know. All right, and I'm proud of you. Don't you want to be proud of yourself?

I lost in an academic competition? Yeah, you did.

I love Carol. [Elise] Okay.

I love plays that are two handers. What? No!

I mean, Aneesa. [boy] No way! [laughs]

I mean, Christ, look at them! [sighs]

I see that. Do you?

I think weed would be more effective. No.

I told you. I told you. [laughs] Uh huh. Uh huh.

I would've kissed anyone. Okay, fine.

I would've loved to have joined. That would've been weird.

I wrote up my findings I'll take a look at that later.

I'll ask you Eve too! Cool, I'll text Eleanor.

I'll be right there. [Paxton] All right.

I'll be your mentor/hero. Goodbye, everyone.

I'll bite. How would you do that? By being Gatsby's silent haunting ghost.

I'm about to hook up in here. My sweet, you found me.

I'm holding up. Thank you. [Gail] Are you really?

I'm not talking to her. Yes, you will.

I'm parked in front of [all cheering]

in a slower paced, technology free world. Watch it, okay?

It is? Do you know that last night

It's feminist! [Nalini] Hmm?

It's highly motivating. [both laugh]

It's like being held! Uh huh.

It's open. [Evan] I can see that.

Just me. Is there anyone else you can think of

Kamala? You forgot your lunch.

Knew you didn't think I was good enough. What? I think you're good enough for me.

Let's get those sheroes up here. [all cheering]

Let's see. Yo, Eve!

Like a Hollywood Aneesa! Psst!

Look, let me tell you a story. [sighs]

Maybe I'll see you in the elevator. Hmm.

Megan Thee Stallion does. [laughs]

Mm hmm. [laughs]

Mm hmm. Good, yeah.

Mm! [Devi] Come on!

Mmm, and he knows it too. [Nalini laughs]

Mmm. Hey! Since we're all here,

Mohan… [Mohan] But…

Mom, yes. [laughing] It's not too early at all.

Namaste, auntie. [Nirmala] Namaste!

No offense. Facts. You're probably right.

No one told you to get on a chair. Well, I'm already up here, so here goes.

No way. [laughs]

No, I don't think that's the lesson here. It definitely is.

No, it's the other one. The skinny one. Oh… Okay.

No, you won't. What?

No, you're getting an "F." [screams]

No! No! Aah! Aah! [body hits the ground]

No. All right.

No. Definitely not.

No. Okay.

Not because I think I'm better than you. Why then?

Not for me. Okay, Michael Phelps. Chill.

Obvious reasons for sure. [phone chimes]

Oh God. Okay.

Oh my God. [laughs] Move!

Oh no, no. Your dad's dead. What?

Oh, it's Kamala. Camel a. Got it.

Oh! [Paxton] Agh!

Oh. Also, you abandoned your robot.

Oh. And your wallet, and your phone.

Oh. Is that all I am to you? [laughs] Yeah.

Okay, dogs. It needs to be at least eight letters.

Okay. [Evan typing]

Okay. It's studying, not tango class.

Okay. You are too thin, ma.

Okay. Okay. Let's go. Now.

on Craigslist Devi, we're not moving to India.

On one hand, Ben [both] Paxton.

Or you could get a bunch of tattoos. That's a great idea.

Paxton, let me explain. Explain what?

Paxton? Where you been?

Paxton's here. What?

Paxton's legit girlfriend. [laughter stops]

Pfft! Which he definitely will, so…

Please, take your time. [both chuckle]

Pretty remarkable. Thank you.

Ready? Oh! Oh! No! Okay.

Really? [Eleanor] Yeah.

Really? Mm hmm.

Relax. [exhales]

Right. Um… [sighs]

Run away! [Fabiola] We need a diversion.

Say what? Everyone hooks up there.

Secondly, there's no switching roles. But I can't work with Ben and Aneesa!

she ended up being in the [intercom chimes]

She picked the neighbor's fruit trees. What? Pati, you can't do that.

She's Indian? You should be best friends! What? No!

Shit! We've waited so long for this. [cork pops]

Shoes! [Eleanor] Oh yeah!

Shouldn't they include me without that? Of course, they should.

Sit here. Careful. Oh! [grunts]

So she went witchy. I will put a curse on you!

so she's now officially a trespasser. Yeah, that sounds like her.

so we don't have to worry about her. Perf.

So what do you say? [laughs]

So where should we start? Math? You mean where should you start?

So you'll stay at our school? No.

So, Aneesa, you'll be our Daisy. Oh, for real?

So, should we start the investigation? Uh, one sec. I'm just texting with Ben.

So, uh, your cousin's a nerd. Rude.

So, would you maybe want to sign my cast? Yeah.

Someone's learning. [laughs]

Sorry. [Malcolm] Mmm.

Sorry. I… I didn't mean it like a date. You definitely did.

Sounds like Aneesa. Who's Aneesa?

Sure. Cool.

Sure. Yeah.

Tell him I said hi back. Mmm.

Thank you, Amma. You look so beautiful. Hmm.

Thank you. [applauding]

Thank you. [Nalini] Thank you.

Thank you. BLACKPINK!

Thank you. [chuckles] Now, how about some chicken?

Thanks for everything. Nuh uh. Sit.

Thanks, Devi. [Devi] See ya.

That means you can go. [all cheering]

That was fun. Mm hmm.

That's a good girl. See you [disconnects call]

That's actually my fault. You girls thinking about getting pierced?

That's why I have two boyfriends. [Dr. Ryan] What?

The paruppu is good, no? Oh. Mm.

Then I was like, "Nah." Yeah, no, I'm a total creep.

These hit different when you earn them. Hmm.

They make a really good couple. [scoffs] They're a great couple.

to change her mind? [gasps]

Uh, for real? What?

Uh, it's kinda for popular kids. Damn, Mr. K!

Uh, no. [laughs nervously] [laughs]

Uh, that's a helicopter. [Malcolm] Huh?

Uh, that's okay. I think we're all good. Cool. I'll see you guys later then.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Come on! Yeah? Yeah.

Uh, yes, very impressive. [Dr. Morales] Mm hmm.

Uh! Yeah. Ey.

Uh… [class laughs]

Was there a point you were working up to? Okay, the point is,

We need to talk. Ahh!

Well, it might be like that. [laughs]

Well, whatever your name is, Devi… Nope!

What are you doing here? Uh, stealing money.

What do you think, Devi? Oh, definitely.

What do you want your new password to be? Um, uh, dog.

What if one tries to kiss you hello? What? What do I do?

What if you snuck out and met with him? What? Really? Yes.

What is going on here? You wanna know what's going on?

What is that? [sighs] It's a teeny basketball.

What the actual fuck? [Nalini gasps]

What? [students gasp]

What? I should have been trying to date my dad!

What? Why? Yeah.

What? Yeah! [laughs] Right?

What's going on? I hate to inform you,

What's poppin'? Yo.

What's up? How are you?

Who is that? Malcolm.

Who, me? No. [all giggle]

Who've you questioned already? Just Darius Carter.

Whoa, what are you doing? What do you mean?

Whoo! [students cheering]

Why are you still going to the class? Because I paid for 11 weeks upfront.

Why were you looking in the trash? Your grandma threw away her teeth again.

Why? I don't know, because we used to hook up.

with oat milk in the shape of a heart. Aw!

Would you be open to a party bus? Oh, no, yeah, sure. I love party buses!

Wow, LA trash is depressing. I know.

Wow! Dinner smells amazing by the way. Thank you, child. Now, was that so hard?

Wow! Look at that gorgeous hair. [crowd cheering]

Y'all running for Cricket Queens? Yeah, it was all Fabiola's idea.

Yay! She chose Paxton! Yes!

Yeah, and Ben's penis seems more normal. Mm.

Yeah, I came to the dance for you. So what does that mean?

Yeah, I'll see you later. Okay.

Yeah, let's go. Okay.

Yeah, sure. I'd love [birdhouse snaps]

Yeah! Whoo! Ben, stop. Just let me explain.

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd love that. [Dr. Jackson] Yeah.

Yes! You see it, right?

Yo, did I get your dick? No.

Yo, Maxi Pax. Told you not to call me that, bro.

Yoink! What the hell!

You and me? What?

You deserve it. You're so pretty. [Zoe giggles]

You did? [sighs] Big time.

You didn't look over them on Sunday? Well, I was kind of hungover,

You do? Of course.

You don't think I can get into college? No, honey. That's not what we meant.

You should come by. Oh, I…

You'll come, right? Sure. Is that a play?

You're a father? [Dr. Morales] Mm hmm.

You're supposed to be studying. I was, but studying is kinda boring,

You're suspended. What?

…but Dr. Everett, you know. And see, in my family, holidays are crazy.

…except when he is with you.

…her crush on him had lasted the test of time.

…no doubt have heard about.

…we are so excited to meet you,

…what's the alternative? Date two guys until you move to India?

…who blamed Show Choir Dustin in the theater…

…who sent them to Asthmatic Dave at the nurse's office…

…who then sent our detectives

'cause I spent my whole childhood in a magical one on television.

'cause she thought you were hooking up with her at the relay.

'cause you've been working really, really hard?

'Sup, Coyote Girl?

'Sup, David?

'Sup, queens?

'Sup, Sash?

"Another Indian girl who's prettier, cooler,

"Are you okay? Are you sad? You need to talk?"

"Be anally."

"Crazy Devi." That's hilare. [laughs]

"He was dead before the bullet ever entered his body."

"Her voice is full of money."

"How you like them apples?" Matt Damon, Good Will Hunting.

"How's the work dinner? Getting a lot done?"

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,

"Nalu."

"Pretty hungry. We're at a restaurant, aren't we?"

"Society and stuff," huh?

"The Krebs cycle."

"Why is Old Gigers taking time out of her busy skedge

"You should be best friends because you're both Indian."

["Art School" by Frankie Cosmos playing]

["Bad Habits" by Madame Gandhi playing]

["Bad Habits" playing]

["Bad Habits" playing]

["Bad" by Cadeaux playing]

["Boca Chica" by Munya playing]

["Come Back" by Lean playing]

["Darjeeling" by Barrie playing]

["Daydream" by Ava Luna playing]

["Faster" by Orlean playing]

["Fire For You" by Cannons playing]

["Foolish Me" by Loma Suyo playing]

["Frankie" by Barrie playing]

["Karma" playing]

["Lady Luck" by Richard Swift playing]

["Love Goes" playing]

["More Love" by Sedona playing]

["My Territory (Edit Radio)" playing]

["Quiero" by Divino Niño playing]

["Running" by GOLDEN playing]

["Say Something" by Kylie Minogue playing]

["Scream" by Blackpaw playing]

["Scream" by Blackpaw playing]

["Summer Love" by Hello Pongo playing]

["Terrible Light" by Young Echoes feat. Leanne Hoffman playing]

["Yellow Sea" by Madame Gandhi playing]

["You'll Probably Think This Song Is About You" by Hachiku playing]

[all applauding]

[all applauding]

[all cheering and applauding]

[all cheering]

[all cheering]

[all laugh]

[all laugh]

[all laughing]

[all laughing]

[Aneesa laughs]

[Aneesa] How are you?

[Aneesa] How is your health?

[Aneesa] Wow, that is very cold.

[balloon pops]

[band continues playing]

[beatboxing]

[beeps]

[bell ringing]

[Ben and Aneesa laughing]

[Ben giggles]

[Ben groans]

[Ben reading]

[Ben] At the party, you followed him and you left me behind!

[Ben] At the turn of the 20th century,

[Ben] Well, well, well.

[birds chirping]

[birds chirping]

[bittersweet music playing]

[bittersweet music playing]

[bittersweet music playing]

[blowing siku]

[body thuds]

[both beatboxing]

[both chuckle]

[both chuckle]

[both continue laughing]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laugh]

[both laughing]

[both] Paxton!

[both] Pros and cons list.

[both] S O R R Y,

[both] What is the Monroe Doctrine?

[both] What?

[both] What?

[burps] Oh.

[cameras clicking]

[car door closes]

[car door opens]

[car door opens]

[car pulling up]

[chattering over TV continues]

[chuckles nervously]

[chuckles quietly]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[chuckles] At least I came clean. That should count for something, right?

[chuckles] I can't wait to ask the waitress

[chuckles] Right, you're visiting.

[chuckles] Right. It's just, maybe we can hang another night.

[chuckles] That check is cleared, and it's nonrefundable.

[chuckles] What are you talking about? You clearly don't like me like that.

[chuckling]

[chuckling] Nalini!

[chuckling] Okay.

[chuckling] So I have dated plenty of Malcolms.

[claps]

[class laughing]

[class murmuring]

[clattering]

[clattering]

[clears throat]

[clears throat]

[clears throat]

[clears throat] Dr. Jackson, as you know, I am moving my family back to India and

[clicks]

[computer chiming]

[continues vocalizing]

[crickets chirping]

[cries]

[crying] I think I might be. Everyone at school calls me Crazy Devi.

[dance music continues]

[dance music playing]

[dance music playing]

[dance music playing]

[Darius] Yo, let's get out of here.

[delicate music playing]

[Devi sighs]

[Devi] "The Jodie Fasters."

[Devi] And please bless my grandmother.

[Devi] Great.

[Devi] Guys, my mom's made up her mind. We're definitely moving.

[Devi] It doesn't seem like they recognize each other.

[Devi] See you tonight, El.

[Devi] So maybe he's not our guy.

[Devi] So, Darius,

[Devi] So, Jonah,

[Devi] Ugh!

[Devi] Uh…

[Devi] Why is Paxton at the wine station?

[Devi] Yeah, super interesting stuff.

[Devi] Yeah, you really were.

[door beeps]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door closes]

[door opens, closes]

[door opens, closes]

[door opens, closes]

[door opens, closes]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[door opens]

[doorbell rings]

[doorbell rings]

[Dr. Jackson reading]

[Dr. Jackson] Hi.

[Dr. Jackson] Right. Okay.

[Eleanor reading]

[Eleanor reading]

[Eleanor] Hey! You two!

[Eleanor] Ready? Okay!

[Eleanor] You're definitely gonna get it.

[Elise] Aw! I love Eve.

[Eric] My mom took us to Chuck E. Cheese to pre game.

[Evan on phone] Listen, I get it,

[exhales sharply]

[exhales sharply]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales]

[exhales] I'm sorry.

[exhales] Smallest of hiccups.

[Fabiola] Eleanor!

[Fabiola] Hey, El.

[Fabiola] I'm here! I'm here.

[farting]

[footsteps approaching]

[fork clinks]

[funky music playing]

[funky music playing]

[funky music playing]

[funky music plays]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps]

[gasps] And your ability to freehand draw really straight lines.

[gasps] Could you prescribe me weed? Or is that like only for real doctors?

[gasps] Devi! Where are we? Wait, is that your mother's car?

[gasps] I think we can tell Principal Grubbs

[gasps] Me too.

[gasps] Oh, hey!

[gasps] Oh.

[gasps] Oh..

[gasps] That cretin!

[gasps] You dropped your maxi pads!

[gavel bangs]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[gentle music playing]

[girl] Hey, where did that kid go with my beanie?

[groaning]

[groaning] That hurt.

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans] Dude, my arm. What the hell?

[groovy music playing]

[groovy music playing]

[groovy music playing]

[grunting]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[grunts] Shit!

[Hadid] All right. He wrote his name. We're on a roll.

[Hadid] And Paxton wasn't enjoying punishing her

[Hadid] As a champion swimmer, Paxton had never worried about college.

[Hadid] Damn, Rebecca. Drag his ass.

[Hadid] Even getting his very first "A" felt like a pretty hollow victory.

[Hadid] I mean, what Devi did to Paxton was cruel,

[Hadid] It was bad enough his peers and teachers underestimated him,

[Hadid] No, no, no. Don't panic. Take a deep

[Hadid] Oh no. Make it stop.

[Hadid] Paxton had no shortage of female admirers.

[Hadid] Paxton wasn't really the jealous type,

[Hadid] Paxton! Boy, stop.

[Hadid] Paxton's parents, Kevin and June Hall Yoshida,

[Hadid] Samberg, get the hell out of here. You had your episode.

[Hadid] Uh, yeah, he was like, "really hurt, bruh,"

[Hadid] Well, this has been a real blast,

[Hadid] What did Ben Gross have that Paxton didn't?

[Hadid] When scientists declare your face to be perfectly symmetrical,

[Hadid] Whoa, these hippie Christians

[Hadid] Yes, Rebecca!

[Hadid] Yikes.

[hesitating] We aren't sure if boys are invited.

[in English] It was the least suggestive female character I could find.

[in Japanese] I think you are a genius.

[in Spanish] Eggs.

[in Tamil] I have to dress this way to get respected in my work.

[in Tamil] Why do you look like a sexy flight attendant from Mars?

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct chatter]

[indistinct conversation]

[inhales deeply]

[inhales deeply]

[inhales deeply] …take a deep breath, and listen to some soothing music

[inhales deeply] Maybe tomorrow will be better.

[inhales sharply] Then you can say goodbye

[inhales] I have three sisters, so I think of you as a cousin,

[inspirational music playing]

[jazz music playing]

[jazz music playing]

[Jonah] Exactly.

[Jonah] I've had that dream too.

[joyful music playing]

[Kamala reading]

[Kamala] Nice to meet you.

[kisses]

[kissing]

[knocking on door]

[knocking on window]

[knocking on window]

[knocking]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing]

[laughing] Chris! It worked! I took your advice.

[laughing] I just hit your mountains with my Dew.

[laughing] I need my family's support.

[laughing] Not that I'm trying to take credit

[laughing] Oh hell, Devi.

[laughing] Oh.

[laughs quietly]

[laughs quietly]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] "Crazy Devi"?

[laughs] Can I help you prep in the kitchen?

[laughs] Cheryl, this is my grandson, Paxton.

[laughs] He's so funny.

[laughs] I know.

[laughs] Nice! How about breakfast tomorrow?

[laughs] Nice.

[laughs] Okay.

[laughs] Relax.

[laughs] Seriously, though, thank you so much.

[laughs] Thanks, Devi.

[laughs] That was me.

[laughs] That's not true. You're not gross.

[laughs] That's sick.

[laughs] This girl is an academic beast.

[laughs] Yeah, I was surprised too.

[laughs] Yeah, it's also not a great look for our people to have an Indian kid

[laughs] You hit her cans with your can.

[laughter continues]

[Malcolm reading]

[Malcolm] Oh God.

[man] Go to bed.

[man] Go to bed.

[man] Seeing Devi chumming it up with Paxton

[Marcus] Can't believe you got played by dorks.

[McEnroe chuckles] Well, he was talking to her,

[McEnroe chuckling] He really did. No flip flops. No pit stains.

[McEnroe] A text from Ben and Paxton?

[McEnroe] A way out of her predicament

[McEnroe] After a full day of flying,

[McEnroe] After her talk with her dream dad,

[McEnroe] After seeing her mom giggling like a thirsty teenager

[McEnroe] After that quite public rejection,

[McEnroe] After weeks of being iced out, this return to their normal repartee

[McEnroe] And boom goes the dynamite.

[McEnroe] And even though she made up with Aneesa for the right reasons,

[McEnroe] And just then, Nalini remembered what Dr. Jackson had said.

[McEnroe] And that was exactly how Devi was starting to feel about this date.

[McEnroe] And that was it. That was all Devi needed to hear.

[McEnroe] And while Devi wasn't thrilled about the move,

[McEnroe] Aneesa got things about Devi that no one else did.

[McEnroe] As Devi entered Facing History,

[McEnroe] As Devi felt the rage building up inside her,

[McEnroe] As Devi prepared for the sleepover,

[McEnroe] As if you care, Aneesa!

[McEnroe] As Nalini watched her mother gently slap Gokul awake,

[McEnroe] Ben and Aneesa were getting way too close for comfort.

[McEnroe] But also, let's not forget this chick hooked up with Devi's ex

[McEnroe] But it seems as though you have gotten some ideas, Aneesa.

[McEnroe] But it was too late. Devi knew what she was going to do.

[McEnroe] But of course, the gods seemed to enjoy

[McEnroe] Damn it! Devi was gonna make the same joke.

[McEnroe] Damn it! They're bantering. That was Devi and Ben's thing.

[McEnroe] Damn. Did this hunk of beef just say he likes spending time with her?

[McEnroe] Devi couldn't believe her eyes.

[McEnroe] Devi couldn't believe her mom was right,

[McEnroe] Devi couldn't sleep with the memory of Ben's words still stinging.

[McEnroe] Devi desperately wanted to bust her mom

[McEnroe] Devi did like the sound of becoming a Sherman Oaks God.

[McEnroe] Devi didn't know how she could make this decision.

[McEnroe] Devi felt hopeless.

[McEnroe] Devi had been right all along.

[McEnroe] Devi had earned her victory lap, and for the first time ever,

[McEnroe] Devi had forgotten how tedious Ben could be.

[McEnroe] Devi knew she could set everything right again

[McEnroe] Devi knew that all roads in the investigation

[McEnroe] Devi knew what she had to do.

[McEnroe] Devi lay in her bed pondering these two grand romantic gestures.

[McEnroe] Devi returned to school the next week an exonerated woman.

[McEnroe] Devi sat in her room, fretting and fidgeting

[McEnroe] Devi thought back to her brief relationship with Paxton

[McEnroe] Devi told herself that Aneesa didn't need to know the truth.

[McEnroe] Devi was a little nervous of this plan,

[McEnroe] Devi was far from proud of herself.

[McEnroe] Devi was hell bent on keeping Ben and Aneesa away from each other,

[McEnroe] Devi was in awe of this cool Indian teen.

[McEnroe] Devi was not loving how comfortable

[McEnroe] Devi was thrilled her most dramatic friend's night

[McEnroe] Devi watched in horror as the one cool teacher,

[McEnroe] Did he just call her "pal"?

[McEnroe] Dr. Ryan was a bit of a know it all,

[McEnroe] Ever since Devi had stopped Aneesa from transferring schools,

[McEnroe] Fabiola and Eleanor were thrilled they had a hot lead.

[McEnroe] Fabiola was on a text chain with her girlfriend, Eve,

[McEnroe] For the first time, Devi was thankful

[McEnroe] Game, set, match.

[McEnroe] Good work, Fab.

[McEnroe] Holy shit is right, Devi.

[McEnroe] Holy shit! Was Paxton right?

[McEnroe] Honestly, between you and me, I might just call in sick this week.

[McEnroe] How would Devi put it?

[McEnroe] I don't usually condone cheating,

[McEnroe] I think any reasonable adult watching this

[McEnroe] I went to Stanford,

[McEnroe] If it wasn't obvious to you before,

[McEnroe] In her 15 years,

[McEnroe] Is Kamala blushing? Whoa!

[McEnroe] It was bad enough that Devi's phone was broken

[McEnroe] It's happening! It's happening!

[McEnroe] Kamala had gotten so fired up, that she had accidentally made a list

[McEnroe] Kamala had saved the day,

[McEnroe] Kinda walked right into that one.

[McEnroe] Later that day,

[McEnroe] Later that night,

[McEnroe] Like me with the Australian Open of 1990,

[McEnroe] Mother of Borg! That's some sexual tension.

[McEnroe] Nalini had forgotten the feeling of someone taking care of her

[McEnroe] Nalini was still set on moving to India at the end of the month,

[McEnroe] No, we won't, Mrs. Paloma, because this bond was broken.

[McEnroe] Nope.

[McEnroe] Now all Devi had to do was sabotage the search,

[McEnroe] Now, Devi's friend was looking to Aneesa for advice?

[McEnroe] Oh my God!

[McEnroe] Oh no!

[McEnroe] Oh shit!

[McEnroe] Oh shit! Here it comes! Devi's about to get it.

[McEnroe] Oh, shit, Devi. This is not good.

[McEnroe] Okay, so she was gonna have to cheat.

[McEnroe] Only seven minutes to stop them.

[McEnroe] Or not.

[McEnroe] Over the past week,

[McEnroe] Paxton was soaking wet,

[McEnroe] Pencil games?

[McEnroe] Presentation? Damn it!

[McEnroe] Seeing the pity in Dr. Jackson's eyes,

[McEnroe] Seems like he still needs some time.

[McEnroe] She is lying. She has no one.

[McEnroe] Since Devi had patched things up with Paxton,

[McEnroe] So far the 24 hour relay had sucked a big fat one.

[McEnroe] Son of a bitch!

[McEnroe] The girls hadn't quite landed on the perfect apology yet,

[McEnroe] The last time Aneesa was missing from this class,

[McEnroe] The last time Devi had gone over to Paxton's house like this,

[McEnroe] The next day, it seemed like everywhere Devi turned,

[McEnroe] The next morning, Devi was recounting

[McEnroe] The old Devi would not have been able to handle this.

[McEnroe] The rumor had spread like a wine stain on a pair of tennis whites.

[McEnroe] Then he walked right past her

[McEnroe] They just shared ChapStick.

[McEnroe] They're all cookies, Nirmala! But take your time.

[McEnroe] They're talking about you, Devi. Be cool.

[McEnroe] This is the longest Paxton Hall Yoshida has ever spoken.

[McEnroe] This might seem like a sad moment, but not long ago,

[McEnroe] Tonight Devi was throwing her first and only high school party.

[McEnroe] Ugh! She was kissing him again!

[McEnroe] Uh oh, someone's having an epiphany.

[McEnroe] Until now.

[McEnroe] Was it the greatest apology? No.

[McEnroe] Well, sort of.

[McEnroe] Well, well, well. Who are they?

[McEnroe] When he said it like that, it kinda made a lot of sense.

[McEnroe] While Nalini may have spared her from one punishment,

[McEnroe] While we all came to this conclusion

[McEnroe] Whoa, did Devi just tutor her way

[McEnroe] Whoa! Did Devi just French Ben at the beach

[McEnroe] Wow, thank God this Zoomer doesn't know how to express himself.

[McEnroe] Wow, two fights back to back.

[McEnroe] Wow. It felt pretty invigorating to be Devi for a moment.

[McEnroe] Yeah. It seems like there might need to be

[McEnroe] Yep, that's the face of a girl

[McEnroe] Yes, Aneesa! She just burned Ben so hard.

[moaning] Sandalwood, please.

[Mohan on voicemail] Hi, it's Dad. I'm… I'm here at the mall to pick you up.

[Mohan on voicemail] Uh, hi, it's Dad. Um, I'm here at the mall to pick you up.

[Mohan on voicemail] Uh, hi, it's Dad. Um, I'm here at the mall to pick you up.

[Mohan] Sherman Oaks is about to have a new celebrity resident.

[Mohan] Uh, hi, it's Dad.

[Mom] Behave yourselves.

[mouthful] And stop being such an elegant eater!

[mouthing] Okay.

[Mr. Kulkarni] All right, homies.

[Mr. Kulkarni] Mmm, okay. [chuckles]

[Mr. Kulkarni] Why are you dressed like a white nerd?

[Mr. Shapiro] Ah yes.

[Mr. Shapiro] Fantastic work, Ben!

[Ms. Warner on intercom] Devi Vishwakumar, please report to the principal's office.

[Ms. Warner] No stopping on the course! That means you, Devi.

[munching]

[music builds]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music ends]

[music playing]

[music rising]

[Nalini chuckles]

[Nalini] Ayyo.

[Nalini] Devi, what are you doing?

[Nalini] Hello, we haven't decided on that name yet. Okay?

[Nalini] Hmm.

[Nalini] How could you not show up?

[Nalini] Is that a nose ring?

[Nalini] Oh, because now you kiss boys in overpriced SUVs?

[Nalini] Over my dead body.

[Nirmala] Devi, what are you smiling about?

[Nirmala] Did you see how Vinitha ignored us at the store?

[on voicemail] Hi, it's Dad. I'm here at the mall to pick you up.

[panting]

[panting]

[panting]

[pants]

[Paxton breathing heavily]

[Paxton exhales]

[Paxton on voicemail] Hey, I'm in your neighborhood.

[Paxton reading]

[Paxton] Awesome. Let's go, man. See you guys!

[Paxton] Hey.

[Paxton] Lil' D.

[Paxton] Oh, what was that?

[Paxton] Okay, think. Ugh.

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

[phone chimes]

[phone pings]

[phone pings]

[phone pings]

[phone vibrates]

[phone vibrates]

[phone vibrates]

[phone vibrating]

[phone vibrating]

[phone vibrating]

[phone vibrating]

[phone vibrating]

[phone vibrating]

[phones vibrate]

[phones vibrating]

[playful music playing]

[playful music playing]

[pleasant music playing]

[pleasant music playing]

[pleasant music playing]

[poignant music playing]

[poignant music rising]

[pop music playing]

[Principal Grubbs] Devi Vishwakumar, please report to the principal's office.

[Principal Grubbs] Devi, I think you know why we're here.

[Principal Grubbs] Starting a vicious rumor about a classmate is unconscionable.

[quizmaster] The 1823 eponymous foreign policy

[reading]

[reporters clamoring]

[rock music playing]

[rock music playing]

[romantic music plays]

[Samberg] Oh, whatever, Hadid! Why you gotta be so possessive? I'm out.

[Sasha] Later!

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell ringing]

[school bell rings]

[school bell rings]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs]

[scoffs] A "B plus"?

[scoffs] And she didn't even shower him with dandruff!

[scoffs] I can't do that. I don't know… how.

[scoffs] I have Indian parents too.

[scoffs] I have tons of Chinese friends!

[scoffs] I hung up on my darling boy.

[scoffs] It doesn't matter. He doesn't even like me.

[scoffs] It's not like it really helped me much.

[scoffs] Let's see if she answers a text from her only child.

[scoffs] Multiple choice. Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you?

[scoffs] No way.

[scoffs] Really?

[scoffs] So he plays her to her face and behind her back.

[scoffs] Yeah, you could add another extracurricular.

[scoffs] You must think I'm such an idiot.

[screams]

[screams] Ah!

[screams] Get away from me, pedophile!

[sends message]

[Shira] Does it sound like something we would say? Yes.

[Shira] Is it true you're, like, with Paxton now?

[Shira] Okay, gorgeous!

[Shira] We've gotten away with so many worse rumors.

[shushing]

[sighing] Nah. I do, but feel free to feel awkward.

[sighing] Okay, look. Even though our priorities are very different,

[sighing] Okay, so last year I kinda fell in with the cool girls,

[sighing] Well, India is at the cutting edge of robotics.

[sighing] Yeah, pretty dope.

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] …why did that happen?

[sighs] Chris. Hi.

[sighs] Come on, Gears, come back to me.

[sighs] Eve, I have to come clean.

[sighs] Here.

[sighs] Honestly, this Prashant thing is really stressing me out.

[sighs] How am I supposed to fix it? I'm suspended, and she hates me!

[sighs] How am I supposed to publicly be with the girl who cheated on me.

[sighs] I don't know. I'm ready to move on from that kid stuff.

[sighs] I love you, Amma.

[sighs] I mean, all over a history test. What's wrong with me?

[sighs] I promise to be a really great friend to you.

[sighs] I thought Eleanor was coming alone.

[sighs] I… I just don't get it.

[sighs] I'm so sorry. That sounds awful.

[sighs] It's just boring work politics. It's not worth getting into.

[sighs] It's really upsetting when they explode.

[sighs] Kamala, do you really want to spend our mentorship hour together

[sighs] Setseg sounds amazing though.

[sighs] Shit.

[sighs] That's awesome!

[sighs] What if Ben and Paxton see me doing something flirty with the other one?

[sighs] When are you gonna realize that that dick doesn't deserve you?

[sighs] Yes, Jonah. Thank you for your honesty.

[sighs] You'll never forget that, kutti.

[singing in Mandarin]

[slow dance music playing]

[slow pop song playing]

[slurping]

[slurping]

[slurps]

[snapping fingers] When I got back there,

[snaps fingers]

[sniffles, sighs]

[sniffling]

[sniffling]

[sniffling]

[sniffling] Could there just be one day where I don't absolutely humiliate myself?

[sniffling] I'm fine.

[snoring]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[sobbing] I'm crying because I'm a terrible mother!

[soft dance music playing]

[soft dance music playing]

[soft music playing]

[softly] Is that her?

[softly] Paxton, I am so sorry.

[softly] What is happening? Are you trying to set me up with a skeleton?

[solemn music playing]

[solemn music playing]

[solemn music playing]

[solemn music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[somber music playing]

[song continues in Spanish]

[song continues]

[student] Yeah!

[students cheering, whistling]

[students cheering]

[students cheering]

[students laughing]

[stuttering]

[suspenseful music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[swallows]

[tattoo machine buzzing]

[teacher] Okay, agents.

[techno music playing]

[tense music playing]

[tense music playing]

[tense music playing]

[tense music playing]

[tense music playing]

[thudding]

[Trent] Damn, Crazy Devi!

[Trent] Hit me in the crotch.

[triumphant music playing]

[tsks] Yup, I got it. I'll be there shortly.

[typing]

[unzipping]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

[video game announcer] Three, two, one, go!

[video game beeping]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing]

[voice breaking] This is exactly what this class is all about.

[weatherman on TV] There is a moderate risk of severe storms…

[weatherman] …and then exit the area as this whole…

[wheezing]

[whimsical music playing]

[whimsical music playing]

[whirring] Those tiaras are giving me life.

[whispering] A sordid past.

[whispering] Psst! Aneesa.

[witty music playing]

[woman] Eleanor!

[woman] Holy cow!

[woman] Making love to Donna awakened something in me.

[woman] Oh, hi, Dr. Jackson! Love the beard!

[woman] Oh, Ted. I made you a chicken.

[woman] This is Paxton Hall Yoshida.

[yawning]

[yells]

[Zoe] But we didn't start it, I don't think.

[Zoe] Remember when she had that weird party?

♪ …the only one I'm fooling Is my stupid self ♪

♪ 'Cause I just got that feeling ♪

♪ 'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪

♪ 'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪

♪ 'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪

♪ 'Cause love is love, it never ends ♪

♪ 'Cause that's how love goes, goes ♪

♪ A yellow sea around me ♪

♪ A yellow sea around me ♪

♪ A yellow sea around me ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah, wasn't enough connection ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ All my bad habits Have got to, got to go ♪

♪ And now let the weak Say they are strong ♪

♪ And oh, you never got it ♪

♪ And you said What's the worst that can happen? ♪

♪ Baby, in and out of summer ♪

♪ Basking naked Where the sun rays hit me ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ey, ey, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Ooh, ooh, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Whoa, whoa, blow it up ♪

♪ Blow it up Yeah, yeah, blow it up ♪

♪ Boom Boom, blow it up ♪

♪ Boom, blow it ♪

♪ Boom, blow it ♪

♪ Boom, blow it ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, drop the bomb Blow it ♪

♪ Boom, drop the bomb Blow it up ♪

♪ Boom, drop the bomb Blow it up, ey ♪

♪ But all the time it's moving so fast ♪

♪ But I get these feelings ♪

♪ But I love texture ♪

♪ But it don't ♪

♪ But it don't ♪

♪ But it don't ♪

♪ Can we all be as one again? ♪

♪ Can we all be as one again? ♪

♪ Can we all be as one again? ♪

♪ Can we all be… ♪

♪ Can't make you happier now ♪

♪ Can't make you happier now ♪

♪ Can't make you happier now ♪

♪ Can’t break even but can’t complain ♪

♪ Careful what you say Karma like a bitch, ah ♪

♪ Careful what you say Karma like a bitch, ah ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Couldn’t you feel us Running out of time? ♪

♪ Did you believe it would last forever? ♪

♪ Don't hold your breath ♪

♪ Don't stop, baby You can walk through ♪

♪ Don't wanna But I think about you ♪

♪ Don't wanna look again Without affection ♪

♪ Drop the bomb Boom, boom, blow it up ♪

♪ Even if it takes all night, boy ♪

♪ Ey, boom, boom ♪

♪ Ey, boom, boom ♪

♪ Ey, ey, ey, ey, ey ♪

♪ Faster than the beat of my heart ♪

♪ Faster than the beat of my heart ♪

♪ Goes, goes ♪

♪ Goes, goes ♪

♪ Goes, goes ♪

♪ Goes, goes ♪

♪ Ha, don't believe what you see, ah ♪

♪ Ha, don't believe what you see, ah ♪

♪ Ha, don't believe what you see, ah ♪

♪ Ha, karma come in your sleep, ah ♪

♪ Ha, karma come in your sleep, ah ♪

♪ Heat waves been faking me out ♪

♪ Heat waves been faking me out ♪

♪ Heat waves been faking me out ♪

♪ Heat waves been faking me out ♪

♪ Heat waves been faking me out ♪

♪ Heat, heat waves I'm swimming in a mirror ♪

♪ Heat, heat waves I'm swimming in a mirror ♪

♪ Heat, heat waves I'm swimming in a mirror ♪

♪ Heat, heat waves I'm swimming in a mirror ♪

♪ I came here alone ♪

♪ I came here alone ♪

♪ I can't help thinking 'bout ya I'm always thinking 'bout ya ♪

♪ I cut your ass loose ♪

♪ I gotta make you make you mine ♪

♪ I just wonder what you're dreaming of ♪

♪ I know this… ♪

♪ I think it's kickin' in ♪

♪ I wanna be with you The way that you are ♪

♪ I want a tug, I want a friend ♪

♪ I, I think about you Ooh, whoa whoa, eh ♪

♪ I'm a holy fool for you ♪

♪ I'm going back to the… ♪

♪ If I can be better ♪

♪ If I drum the beat ♪

♪ If I drum the beat ♪

♪ If I drum the beat ♪

♪ If I drum the beat ♪

♪ If I drum the beat ♪

♪ If you wanna roll with me ♪

♪ If you wanna roll with me ♪

♪ In the darkest place ♪

♪ In the storms we chase ♪

♪ It's where I have my fun ♪

♪ Just know I hold a place For you always ♪

♪ Just like… ♪

♪ Just tryna find ourselves ♪

♪ Karma kills you quicker Than the reaper can, ah ♪

♪ Karma kills you quicker Than the reaper can, ah ♪

♪ Keep me here for a while ♪

♪ Keep me here for a while ♪

♪ La la, la la, la, la la la ♪

♪ La la, la la, la, la la la La la, la la, la, la la la ♪

♪ La la, la la, la, la la, uh ♪

♪ Lady luck, she is lovely ♪

♪ Last night all I think about is you ♪

♪ Last night I dreamed of a terrible light ♪

♪ Last night I dreamed of a terrible light ♪

♪ Late nights in the middle of June ♪

♪ Late nights in the middle of June ♪

♪ Late nights in the middle of June ♪

♪ Late nights in the middle of June ♪

♪ Look in the mirror Notice my reflection ♪

♪ Make room For the queen of the Hindustan ♪

♪ Me, me, me ♪

♪ Mexican… ♪

♪ Moving, moving Way too fast ♪

♪ My heart just dropped ♪

♪ My skin is turning green Am I reptilian? ♪

♪ My territory ♪

♪ My territory ♪

♪ No use in fighting… ♪

♪ Now you're in way too deep, ah ♪

♪ Now you're in way too deep, ah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh baby, don't play with me now ♪

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, faster than the beat of my heart ♪

♪ Oh, we're just ♪

♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪

♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪

♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪

♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪

♪ On a Mexican holiday ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah ♪

♪ Please don't look at my girlfriend ♪

♪ Please don't look at my girlfriend ♪

♪ Pull it to the spot Ey, make it hot ♪

♪ Pull it to the spot, make it hot ♪

♪ Pushed right back to try it again ♪

♪ Real school makes you wanna get high ♪

♪ Road shimmer Wiggling the vision ♪

♪ Road shimmer Wiggling the vision ♪

♪ Road shimmer Wiggling the vision ♪

♪ Road shimmer Wiggling the vision ♪

♪ Roll with me, don't fade on me, love ♪

♪ Roll, you know I gotta roll You know I gotta roll ♪

♪ Running ♪

♪ S s s say something, say something ♪

♪ Say one day I'll be back ♪

♪ She always knows which way to take me ♪

♪ She would find some time To spend with me ♪

♪ She's the only one The only one ♪

♪ Shots back at you Like a rubber band, ah ♪

♪ Shots back at you Like a rubber band, ah ♪

♪ Slow down If you want it to last ♪

♪ Slow down, let me talk to you ♪

♪ So let me go and I'll put you to bed ♪

♪ Sometimes, all I think about is you ♪

♪ Sometimes, all I think about is you ♪

♪ Sometimes, all I think about is you ♪

♪ Soviets put out Sputnik But they can suck a dick… ♪

♪ Stand up for the daughter of the King ♪

♪ Stay ♪

♪ Stay ♪

♪ Stay ♪

♪ Stay ♪

♪ Stronger than the weight of the world ♪

♪ Stronger than the weight of the world ♪

♪ Swim in the creeks That the New Deal laid ♪

♪ Tell me how you're feeling ♪

♪ Tell my mind this ain't gonna last ♪

♪ That look that's perfectly un sad ♪

♪ That's how love ♪

♪ That's how love goes ♪

♪ That's how love goes ♪

♪ That's how love goes, goes ♪

♪ That's how love goes, goes ♪

♪ That's how love goes, goes ♪

♪ The city towed my car ♪

♪ The first night I got in ♪

♪ The hand that you bite Had the upper hand, ah ♪

♪ The hand that you bite Had the upper hand, ah ♪

♪ The trouble in my head ♪

♪ There's no IOU It doesn't matter what I do ♪

♪ They get you to give it up ♪

♪ They get you to give it up ♪

♪ They get you to give it up ♪

♪ They want you to ♪

♪ They want you to give ♪

♪ This is the diagnosis… ♪

♪ Wait for the break When we get some rain ♪

♪ We are nothing more Than strangers, after all… ♪

♪ We could find our way ♪

♪ We'll always find a way ♪

♪ We're a million miles apart In a thousand ways ♪

♪ When I get lost I just turn on "Wazey" ♪

♪ When you sleep And smile so comfortable ♪

♪ Where the sun is shining away ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Will you sing with me ♪

♪ Will you sing with me ♪

♪ Will you sing with me ♪

♪ Will you sing with me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You can leave when you like ♪

♪ You can leave when you like ♪

♪ You're broken ♪

♪ You're gonna hit me with the truth Wi wi with the truth ♪

♪ You're gonna hit me with the truth Wi wi with the truth ♪