This Fool - Season 1 Edit

A butterfly.

A delicious cupcake.

A few of us are gonna go fuck up that fool Davonte.

A grown ass man should not be sleeping

A lot.

A memento, some merch, a couch.

A million dollars.

A real man.

A storm is comin'!

About his bullshit new stadium in Inglewood

About the annual ping pong tournament on skid row.

About what I'm supposed to do with my life.

Actually, I'd be heartbroken.

Actually, it'd be kinda tight if you roll with me.

Actually, they have Uber in prison.

Adios, mamacita.

Admit it, slut.

After all, did Maria give up after Tony murdered her brother?

After getting out of prison.

After this, they're gonna make memes outta me kicking his ass.

After your psycho ass boy almost killed us.

Again. MAGGIE: No, I don't n

Ah, fuck. There is no record collection, is there?

Ah, no mames, güey.

Ah, you know, I just feel that Julio,

Aiden, there's something you want to ask your tío Julio and tía Maggie.

Aiden, where the fuck you going?

AIDEN: Fine. [doorbell dinging]

AIDEN: Fuck you, Michael.

AIDEN: Hey!

AIDEN: I'm gonna beat your ass, Michael!

AIDEN: What's that scar?

All covered up. What's under those robes, Lupe?

All depressed and shit.

All new Huggers get a free mug.

All that crazy shit we did back in the day,

All that guilt washed away.

All that stuff is in your head.

All you have to do is look pretty and have fun.

All you have to do is show up, smile, and look pretty.

ALL: Aw. Ah, man, come on.

ALL: No!

ALL: Ohh!

ALL: Ohh!

ALL: Ohh!

Alright, then, your turn, Grandpa.

Alright? Don't act like you cared about me.

Alright? Just trust me.

Alright? We're done here.

Alright. See how much fun you have with your Tio Luis

Alright. That's enough. That's enough.

Also, I'm not a doctor. I'm a minister.

Also, she worships the devil.

Also, sometimes I don't even think we're right for each other.

Also, we got a lot of little Latino boys coming in for their quinceañero suits.

Always so nosy. Respect my boundaries. Bye.

Always.

Am I the rabbit?

America started out of spite for the fuckin' Brits.

Ana, you're the godmother now.

ANA: He's not happy with where he's at in life

ANA: Julio, I don't even know

ANA: Nasty.

ANA: This room has potential.

ANA: Uh, not interested. God isn't real.

Ana! Shut up. I'm doing Maggie a favor.

And a broke motherfucker like you could even be possible.

And a giant toilet for your huge ass dumper.

And actually, it's really fun.

And after that, kick his dad's ass too.

And after this, she's not gonna be able to walk anymore.

And all the homeys was like, Damn, my boy has to go," and I say, "Yeah."

And all this kind soul asked of us in return

And all this time you were talking to me about how I need all this closure

And also, I was just giving you an out.

And always having my back, huh?

And as you can see, we're sorely in need of new technology.

And be fucking miserable all night long!

And because I'm way cooler than your Tio Julio.

And before that I was engaged for two.

And believe me, I've seen some shit.

And Big Luis

And Big Luis and all his friends would always call him names,

And do you like they did Old Yeller.

And don't give her any problems or I'll beat your ass.

And don't move on too fast.

And every day is like a week when you're doing hard time.

And evolved as a person or whatever,

And fancy fuckin' spoons.

And feel good about it later.

And for making fun of you

And furthermore, you're gonna victim blame a little boy

And get in the way of constructive dialogue.

And get that ring back.

And God is somewhere right over here.

And has way bigger tits.

And he gave me a discount.

And he looked so cute and perfect.

And he tells me, "Your cousin's drug deal went awry."

And he's making you do shit.

And her toilet paper is shredding my culo.

And hiking was number nine.

And his son is selling his record collection on Craigslist,

And how it's displacing working class people.

And I am sick to death of sucking up to monsters like you!

And I apologize for messing everything up.

And I believe it's some form of revenge

And I busted you outta that nursing home so we could whoop on some Mexicans.

And I can get past the thought

And I can't pay my half of the rent.

And I don't want my kids coming out all weird and shit.

And I farted on his face while he was sleeping.

And I find that dignity

And I had that gun on me.

And I helped my tía and my grandma around the house.

And I hope you can find it in your hearts not to punish the huggers for my behavior.

And I know exactly what you want.

And I know I'll never get all my mojo back.

And I literally saw CDs in your room.

And I mean anything.

And I moved by myself to a remote village in Venezuela

And I noticed a little mistake.

And I put them in my brother's sandwiches.

And I said, "That's perfect!"

And I shouldn't have said what I said about your mom.

And I think it could help you both find some closure if you talk things out.

And I think you might have that same problem.

And I thought, "Something doesn't feel right."

And I want my ring back. You're not helping.

And I would never go back to prison.

And I'm all trying to mack her at the same time, like

And I'm appreciating the shit out of that butterfly.

And I'm down 100 bucks, so now I wanna fuckin' fight.

And I'm fuckin' freaking out.

And I'm gonna choke you out so hard you're gonna come out your eyes.

And I'm gonna tell you why.

And I'm not gonna let some ruco who's never been laid

And I'm sorry that I tagged a dick on your car in high school.

And I'm still charging you for today.

And I'm the naughty little boy who needs to be punished.

And I've been waiting eight years to kick him in the fuckin' balls.

And if you give him a pack of cigarettes, he'll carry you around, like, hey.

And if you let her be your godmother, she might start hitting you too.

And it was scary 'cause the sink was all small and slippery and old.

And it's all my fault.

And it's my job to do whatever it takes to keep it going.

And it's ruining our lives right now! All of our lives!

And it's you, me, Roger.

And just let me watch my game, I'll take care of the kids.

And Latinos, Asians, and Native Americans are all our children.

And make me go back to mine,

And maybe one day if they pray and they pray and they pray,

And my bed is actually a couch in my tía's house.

And my ex wife evicted me.

And my paychecks are always late.

And my tía Sofia,

And no disrespect, homey, but...

And now he is a gourmet pastry chef at Sprinkles.

And now I live in the van outside.

And now I'm fucking up everything with you.

And now we're out of soap!

And now you have me running errands for you?

And now you've put it in my son's head too?

And part of that is facing up to people that you've hurt in the past,

And put your fuckin' hand down.

And Sandy said that since I had so much power over you as a kid,

And seen how beautiful this nature shit is.

And she says you're back on madrina status

And she says, "You're fuckin' dirty."

And she's fucking ugly!

And so he, like, hates himself for it.

And sometimes I gotta check your ass.

And sometimes we don't do our job right and they don't get reformed.

And starts riding me all crazy, fool.

And thankfully, there are other gang rehabs in LA.

And that bully's name

And that fool got the joke and he was nice as fuck.

And that's how I knew it was good.

And that's not gonna undo what you did.

And that's on your schedule for 2:30 today.

And the sink starts, like, creaking and cracking

And then Aiden could lose his nina.

And then had a vicious dog try to eat it.

And then I said, "Thanks for not shooting me!"

And then I thought, "You know what else doesn't feel right?"

And then I would get a new job.

And then one day, every single house that I built fell down.

And then paid you back with money that I stole from you.

And then they tell you your penis is too big for their vagina.

And then we can move in together

And then you find a rabbit who suddenly disappears.

And then you got yourself locked up for doing some dumb shit.

And then you have to pay my rent?

And then you wouldn't have come

And there's certain shit I'm responsible for,

And think about how much you fucking hate yourself.

And this uneven trail isn't helping.

And Tiny Juan... became Big Juan.

And to Dr. Payne.

And to my cousin Ricky,

And try to do it by tonight.

And we both'd be naked.

And we don't often indulge in dessert.

And we rehabilitate ex gang members.

And we're proud to say we remove more tattoos

And why are you wearing exercise clothes?

And why did you pack a picnic basket

And will you excuse me, sir?

And you better cry, like a lot.

And you certainly didn't know consequence.

And you could really benefit from therapy.

And you finally moved out of your mom's pad.

And you know Judge Judy will rule in my favor.

And you know what, actually, I have an idea

And you know what? Everybody here is tired of it.

And you know what? She's great.

And you never will be.

And you shall be forgiven.

And you was always quite the bitch.

And you will not come in here and disrespect my cupcake world.

And you've never been funny.

And, Ana,

And, believe me, I'm trying to make peace with that.

And, my boy,

And, please, just let us have it.

And, uh, she would give me piggyback rides around in her pad

And, you know, I just said it was yours.

And, you know, you could be a witness if she tries to kill me.

ANGEL: The devil is all around us, my dude.

ANGEL: You didn't shoot me in my ass.

Another trip, homey, you can't just put yourself out there.

Anything at all to keep Hugs Not Thugs alive.

Anyway, I gotta write you up.

Anyway, I pulled a few strings and I was able to get Luis a spot.

Anyway, they were so busy keeping inmates in check

Anyway, those fucking billionaire fucks tore up that check

Are getting in the way of you being an effective case manager.

Are we gonna do this or what?

Are you here for a therapy session?

Are you sure there was no dairy in those cookies?

Are you telling me we went through all that shit

Are you two little fools sneaky? Yes.

Aren't you the one that's always saying all trauma is valid?

As a bonus for signing up,

As I always say, give the leftovers to the staff.

As long as I don't talk to her for the rest of the day.

As well as their families for supporting them

As you can see, I'm alive and thriving.

Assuming he's not dead, he'll roll with us for sure.

Astronaut son of a bitch!

At least that fool didn't write me up all the time.

At least that's what Sandy says.

Austin Powers is an old ass movie.

Austin Powers one more time,

Ay, mira, look, it's a baby Julio.

Aye, mira, look, it's kicking.

Backing that piece of shit up.

Barely gives us enough money for making rent.

BARRY THE DENTIST: Good morning, Mr. Lopez.

BARRY: Oh, okay. I just I can't do this.

Beat your ass outside your grandma's house?

Because after a few, I start looking like Mario Lopez.

Because he doesn't know what he wants,

Because I also got a fat neck,

Because I always look out for my familia.

Because I cannot bear the humiliation

Because I don't have a motherfuckin' house to live in

Because I had no idea how to build houses.

Because I remember you saying you loved that movie Blood In, Blood Out.

Because I run a nonprofit!

Because if Roger is the only thing that's keeping us

Because in situations like these,

Because of what happened to him in school,

Because one of my nuts went so far up there

Because she had a big forehead and I called her Forhedda,

Because that's how smart I was.

Because that's my thing!

Because these little kids that you're making memes about

Because we feel privileged to be privileged enough

Because you chose a career path

Because you were in prison for doing dumb shit.

Because you were so scared that you pissed your pants.

Because you're 31 and you still live at your mom's house

Because you're scared of commitment.

Before Hugs Not Thugs,

Before the phone company realizes

Before you, I never knew a friendship

BEN [over microphone]: The Black man is the original man.

Bet my life would have been a lot better if my name was Donovan.

Between a poor individual such as myself

Between whoopee cushions and fake rubber asses,

Billionaires are on billionaire time.

Bitch ass mark.

Bitch.

Bitch.

Black people don't fuck with Magic Mountain.

Boo, hey, do you drink?

Boop, boop, boop, boop.

BOTH: No! Then what does he do to you then?

BOTH: Yeah!

Bro, what have I become?

Broke asshole.

Burning down your entire life forces you out of your comfort zone.

But after all we went through,

But also because you've taken the first step

But always escaped legal consequences until recently.

But anyway, what were you saying about the bank?

But apparently you think this was a stupid ass idea,

But aren't you gonna compliment my suit first?

But be warned, my boys ain't boys anymore, they're men.

But did I tell her to stop?

But doing so with malice is.

But don't worry about it. Okay. I'm sorry.

But don't worry, I got you.

But even if they don't, they're still flattered.

But have you seen this one?

But have you started to résumé yet?

But he has so much money he never even notices.

But he looks good. And so will you.

But honestly, you're gonna hate yourself a lot less.

But I also wanna congratulate... me,

But I can tell you that he's doing great.

But I couldn't do it this time.

But I didn't panic.

But I do not believe in staying friends with exes.

But I don't think anybody would want to trade places with you.

But I fucked up too.

But I grabbed it like that and she started riding me

But I guess I was wrong.

But I knew how to make pizza.

But I never felt so happy.

But I personally think you need a trained mental health professional.

But I'm an expert in getting my ass whooped.

But I'm not your case manager anymore.

But I'm pretty sure I forfeited my ability to be a father for you, okay?

But I'm trying to understand Julio's need to check.

But I'm your nino, okay? I'm here to protect you from the devil.

But I've had to accept that my daughter'd never forgive me

But if this was a level four yard, I would've stabbed you.

But if you want me to bring it back, that's fine.

But if you wouldn't mind shutting your fucking mouths,

But in my professional opinion,

But in order to help me, I need you to be sneaky.

But it might not all be bad news.

But it was more time than what Shia LaBeouf did.

But it'd be cool to find love though.

But it's a tough decision because

But it's your birthday. I had to come by and give you your gift.

But looking back on it, that wasn't right.

But luckily,

But maybe the reason I borrowed your car was

But most importantly, we'd watch Austin Powers.

But my advice is, you know, keep your feria in a safe.

But my hubby and I, we have a guilty pleasure of our own.

But my husband's weight had nothing to do with his passing.

But not a lot of hug.

But now I know,

But now I like to think that fool's up in heaven shaggin'.

But now I realize that even though it was super funny,

But now that fool's back, and he's hungrier and stronger than ever.

But now,

But once I realized that it was the devil's fault,

But only if he lets me kick him in the balls.

But out of that disgusting wet batter

But perdon, tío.

But possess a child's will.

But really, it's just you.

But recently somebody told me that it was the devil that made me do all that shit.

But seriously, we gotta go.

But since I got out, there's this place I've been going to.

But so far those fuckers haven't turned us off yet.

But some of you are not men.

But studies show that the life expectancy of a gangster,

But that fool won't listen to me.

But that's neither here nor there.

But the boys I did bring are finna beat your ass.

But the cupcakes are bomb.

But the life expectancy of a punk ass bitch?

But the reason I do this is because

But the truth is,

But the truth is, we have more applicants than we can service at this facility.

But then at the last second I thought, "Ah, fuck it.

But then I found out she was using steroids...

But then you were in there

But this organization is very important to me,

But this sick fuck right over here, Julio Loco,

But we don't believe in that magic underwear shit.

But we established Julio's too controlling.

But we need closure,

But we need money from kind rich white people.

But we're not moving into your place.

But whatever, man.

But when we fight, I'm gonna have to fight on his side.

But you come off like a punk ass bitch in that story.

But you don't owe me an apology.

But you giving back the ring is not just about his closure,

But you gotta practice your self defense, my boy.

But you just have to let me...

But you know what, my boy?

But you know what?

But you might wanna get some of those noise canceling headphones.

But you run a nonprofit.

But you should be happy there are people who wanna celebrate you.

But you're the one living in an apartment owned by your ex wife?

But your face looks 56, fool?

But, uh, these people really need your help.

But, yeah, you know, you were in there a little.

But, you know, Hugs Not Thugs is teaching me

But, you know, this generation, they get real sentido

But, you know, you've done a lot to help me out.

Butter comes from the butter plant!

By allowing them to get sweet revenge

By celebrating the shit out of his birthday.

By telling him he was possessed by the devil.

By the way, I got Wendy's if you're hungry.

By the way, meet your new case manager.

By the way, you still owe me 20 fucking bucks, homes.

Cabrón.

Calculations. Watch. Check this out, playboy.

Call Rent Your Rims so your wheels could have some drift.

Cállate, pendejo. I got.

Calling you gay was the only thing

Can be an alienating experience.

Can grow up to be big and strong.

Can I get a light?

Can I touch the baby?

Can I? Yes, you can, little Richie.

Can rise a beautiful cupcake.

Can we do a confession like right now?

Can you start tomorrow?

Can't return this shit.

CANDI: It's okay.

CANDI: Oh, yeah!

CANDI: Why the fuck are you quoting Austin Powers

Chamomile, huh?

Check it out.

CHEF PERCY WILLIAMS: Shut the fuck up!

CHEF PERCY WILLIAMS: You are all disgusting wet batter.

CHEF WILLIAMS: A'ight, so who we about to go fight?

CHEF WILLIAMS: And first we have a baby spinach salad

CHEF WILLIAMS: Come on, now.

CHEF WILLIAMS: Damn, y'all corny.

CHEF WILLIAMS: Oh, shit, I feel you, man.

CHEF WILLIAMS: Old Benjamin Button face ass.

Chili cheese fry.

Chill out, alright?

Clearly, you had none.

Clink, clink, boy.

Code green on aisle two.

Come on in.

Come on, come on.

Come on, everybody. Let's bring it in.

Come on, everyone.

Come on, hurry up. We're gonna be late.

Come on, let's go, mijo. No, you can't leave that here.

Come on, Luis.

Come on, pick up the pace.

Come on, tell the homey your shoe size.

Come on, this ain't worth a grand.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. I just have to ask,

Come on. We're gonna find him.

Coming up next is another throwback classic from back in the day.

Compensating your old pal for all the hard work he did today.

Computers is the future and we need some new computers 'cause these are,

CONGREGATION: Amen.

Correct?

Could have been a baby.

Could have been worse.

Couldn't fight if he wanted to.

Courage, and determination.

COUSIN JOHNNY: Damn.

Crack the motherfucking window in this shit.

Crease your fuckin' pants, playboy.

CUETE: Damn. Wait. Does yours radiate down your leg?

CUETE: Man, fuck Davonte, homey.

CUETE: That's rough, homey,

Cupcake world.

Cupcakes. Cupcakes.

Cut me a little fuckin' slack, okay?

CYCO: Honey, I'm going out with the boys.

Damn, girl, you got a library card?

Damn, girl, you're so fine that even if you cheated on me,

Damn, got some nasty throat acid or some shit.

Damn, he probably doesn't even live here anymore.

Damn, I can't wait to see my boys.

Damn, I just helped you with a psychological breakthrough.

Damn, Maggie, did you have people over last night?

Damn, man.

Damn, mija, you *******?

Damn, mija.

Damn, my boy. I haven't seen you forever.

Damn, now I'm feeling all energized and shit.

Damn, you know what? You're super smart, mijo.

Damn, you still got a lot to learn from me.

Damn.

Damn.

Damn. Bullying has changed since my times.

Damn. Those asses are buff!

DARIUS: You motherfuckers. [gun cocks]

DAVONTE: Look at this bitch made motherfucker.

Dawg, enough's enough.

Dawg, I can light my own shit.

Di daddy dee goo gooey.

Did anybody make any meaningful connections this week

Did you see this in a movie?

DJ NOSTALGIA [over radio]: Does no one respect

Do it for Mom.

Do you realize how high of a motherfucking recidivism rate

Do you remember who your padrinos are?

Do you think your having to be funny all the time

Do you wanna eat your daddy's balls, Roger?

Do... Goose.

Does he sock you in the gut and give you a titty twister?

Doesn't mean you can't put hands on him, okay?

Don't be late.

Don't be nasty, alright? We're family.

Don't be racist.

Don't get me wrong, little homey gets down.

Don't mind if I do.

Don't pretend like you're a real adult with life goals and shit.

Don't seem right to me.

Don't test me.

Don't use that word with me.

Don't wait up.

Don't you ever come back here again, pervert.

Don't you wanna free yourself from this short loser forever?

Don't you, Richard? Yeah? Yes, I do.

Duck, duck.

Duck, duck. RHONDA: Oh. Hmm.

Duck.

Duck.

Duck.

Duck. [Rhonda chuckles]

Duck. Duck.

Eh, talking to me like that.

Emotions can run really high

Enough of this shit.

Eric.

Especially since you yourself have never even been to therapy.

ESPERANZA: Ay, Luisito.

ESPERANZA: Hey, chingados.

ESPERANZA: Julio!

ESPERANZA: Julio!

ESPERANZA: Julio!

ESPERANZA: Julio! JULIO: Chinga su madre.

ESPERANZA: Mm hmm.

ESPERANZA: Oh, no.

ESPERANZA: Shh.

Even if it was only because you weren't putting it down.

Even worse than what you're doing to these boys, mijo.

Even your fucking hair!

Eventually they'll bite, homey.

Every birthday he disappears all day.

Everybody pull out your wallets. Just pony up.

Everybody wave.

Everybody, listen up.

Everybody, wave to the camera.

Everyone here thinks I'm an asshole.

Ew.

Except for Clarence Thomas.

Except for the one thing I actually needed to fuck.

Except, it can fly. [Maggie scoffs]

Excuse me. I want to choose

Fabian is tweaking again.

Fabian, give Payne your shirt.

FABIAN: Come on.

FABIAN: Damn. How could you not think about someone

FABIAN: He thinks we're a charity case.

FABIAN: This fool's coldblooded.

FABIAN: We're all here for you, dawg.

Felicidades.

Final frame. Two pins to win.

First of all, it looks a lot smaller than it did in the photos.

Five potato, six potato, seven potato.

For all the shit that he's done around here,

For all the times that I legitimately checked him as a kid.

For all those years I was away.

For cubic fuckin' zirconia?

For Fatass.

For Fatass.

For fraud.

For putting up with the most difficult person

For the graduation ceremony.

For the greater good.

For those of you who don't know,

For you with this ring?

From taking our relationship to the next level,

From the troposphere.

Fuck off. Ugh.

Fuck these fools! You don't have to do this.

Fuck you, Tambien.

Fuck, but I can't, dawg.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! Help!

Fuck.

Fuck. I'm fine, alright?

Fuckin' electric company!

Fuckin' his little brain up. Mm hmm hmm.

Fuckin' home wrecker.

Fuckin' slut ass butterfly.

GARY: [echoing] Such a good guy.

GARY: Hey, you are. You are.

GARY: Oh.

Gay boy.

Get back here. We gotta talk to her together.

Get bullied again!

Get in here.

Get in here.

Get insecure

Get the fuck out of my apartment, Julio.

Get the fuck outta here!

Get up.

Give me $20, I'll give you your shoes back.

Give me a high five.

Give me some of those antibiotics they put up your culo.

Give us a hand here.

Give you one of those big ass checks like when you win the lottery, you know.

Giving him strength,

Go ahead, mijo.

Go ahead.

Go manage another strip club.

Go nuts. We're done here.

Go tell Sandy I says that.

Go to your rooms and lock the doors.

Go wash your face off.

Go! Run! I'm so, so, so, sorry.

God answered Tiny Juan's prayers.

God damn, you're driving me fucking crazy!

God will answer their prayers many years later

God... has rewarded me today.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn!

Going up into space,

Gonna give me a seizure.

Good call.

Good luck finding anyone to date with that lame ass profile.

Good luck finding someone who isn't family to put up with your bullshit.

Good, I hope.

Got a lot of respect for you.

Got four numbers, my boy.

Gotta be more careful, alright?

Gotta figure out something new.

Gracias.

Grass is nice.

Great. And that's enough.

Grew up to be this little bitch sitting right here.

Group hug is not about me, okay?

Groveling to the rich,

Guess I gotta use the other Manuela.

Guess I should've seen that coming, huh?

Guess I'm gonna have to find a new jale after this.

Guess I'm still Julio number one.

Guess you better try again.

Guess you were lying when you said all the shit about family

Hammer time, bitches.

Hand me some paper towels.

Has anything to do with filling the void your father left?

Have fun, Sandy.

Have it your way.

Haven't seen those fools in forever.

He definitely needs to go see Sandy.

He even took raw meat and smashed it into Tiny Juan's forehead

He goes, "I got dinosaur costumes."

He has that fucked up disease where he looks all old and shit.

He literally thinks he deserves to suffer.

He looks like he likes Morrissey.

He makes me do crazy things.

He makes us watch movies from the past.

He needs to get toughened up, dawg.

He probably has a boner right now.

He really gives everything he has to the program.

He said a couple of months of physical therapy, he was right back

He said something about you.

He said, "No." I said, "What else you got?"

He says that's what happens when you get old.

He screamed like a little girl.

He selflessly does what he's supposed to do

He started out just like all of you

He still sees me as a little kid.

He was our wild card.

He was screaming to be converted.

He would bully you and make fun of you.

He would have been kicked out of this program already.

He'd sock him in the gut and gave him titty twisters.

He'd throw wet paper towels at him while he's trying to take a dump.

He'll be fine.

He's all about this shit called, um, personal accountability.

He's been donating to us for years.

He's gonna do the job for him.

He's gonna smell this basket and then he's gonna devour us.

He's gonna smoke your ass.

He's got potential!

He's just up here.

He's not my boyfriend.

Hell, most good things in this world was done out of spite.

Hell, no.

Hell.

Help me raise him.

Here, read this pamphlet I just got.

Here.

Here.

Here. [whistles]

Here's your can thief. Shoot him.

Hey, and check this out. I got that good toilet paper, baby.

Hey, big dawg, we can wipe away that teardrop tattoo, no problem.

Hey, big dawg.

Hey, but I heard you missed group hug today.

Hey, but I still don't understand why you don't eat the pizza crusts.

Hey, check this shit out.

Hey, chief, you wanna see the five year plan

Hey, don't ever tell this fool nothing about your life.

Hey, fool, hook me up.

Hey, for real though,

Hey, fuck Sandy.

Hey, g Give me a minute. Let me get decent.

Hey, girl, you got a library card?

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey, hey. ¿Sabes que, padre?

Hey, I think you got it. Chill.

Hey, Junior, come here!

Hey, kid.

Hey, let's get serious, alright?

Hey, let's take a tour.

Hey, luckily I recorded it.

Hey, mijo, check this out.

Hey, Minister Payne.

Hey, real quick, uh, can I take a shit in your house?

Hey, say hi to my tía for me, alright?

Hey, this is my son right here.

Hey, we can't let this place close just 'cause Payne has a big ass chorizo.

Hey, what's up, girl, you got a library card?

Hey, what's up, girl? You wanna run away with me and start a new life?

Hey, what's up, Vero?

Hey, you know what I found out?

Hey, you know what? You do have a fat neck.

Hey, you ready to kiss some ass?

Hey, you wanna get weird with a doctor?

Hey, you wanna hang out and throw back some chelas?

Hey!

Hey! What the hell are you doing?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.