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Home > The Toy (1982)
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The Toy (1982)

The Toy (1982)

The Toy (1982) is a lighthearted and heartwarming comedy film that stars the legendary Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason, and Ned Beatty. Directed by Richard Donner, this movie takes audiences on a delightful journey that explores the power of friendship and the importance of seeing beyond societal boundaries.

Set in Louisiana, The Toy tells the story of a wealthy businessman named U.S. Bates (played by Jackie Gleason) and his young son, Eric Bates (played by Scott Schwartz). Eric is a lonely child who is constantly neglected by his workaholic father. In an attempt to make up for his absence, U.S. Bates decides to purchase the ultimate toy for his son - a real-life human named Jack Brown (played by Richard Pryor).

Jack is hired to merely be Eric's plaything, a living action figure who must entertain and amuse the young boy. What ensues is a hilarious and heartwarming adventure as Jack and Eric form an unlikely bond. Jack becomes Eric's confidant, mentor, and friend, teaching him important life lessons along the way. Through their time spent together, both Jack and Eric learn to look beyond appearances and societal expectations, discovering the true value of friendship, compassion, and understanding.

Richard Pryor brings his signature wit and comedy to the role of Jack Brown, infusing the character with warmth, charm, and a touch of mischief. Jackie Gleason, known for his iconic portrayal of Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners, delivers a stellar performance as U.S. Bates, portraying a complex character who learns the importance of fatherhood and connection. Ned Beatty also shines in his role as the loyal and kind-hearted chauffeur, making the audience fall in love with his endearing portrayal.

The Toy, released in 1982, was praised for its heartwarming storyline and the chemistry between the actors. It explores themes of classism, friendship, and the power of love to transcend societal barriers. The film's clever dialogue and well-executed comedic moments provide constant laughter, while also delivering a poignant message about the true value of human connection.

If you are a fan of this charming movie and want to relive its magic, you can easily play and download the sounds here. Immerse yourself in the witty banter between Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason, and let the heartwarming moments between Jack and Eric warm your soul. Whether it's the laughter-inducing scenes or the uplifting messages, The Toy is sure to bring joy and entertainment to your day.

So, sit back, relax, and tune in to the world of The Toy (1982), a timeless gem that reminds us of the power of friendship and the importance of seeing beyond societal boundaries. Let Richard Pryor, Jackie Gleason, and Ned Beatty captivate you with their exceptional performances, and let the world of The Toy enchant you once again.

Remember, you can play and download the sounds of this beloved movie here. Indulge in the laughter, the heart, and the magic of The Toy, a film that continues to warm hearts across generations.

Junior Asparagus (The Toy that Saved Chr… Toy SFX Library Plastic toy SFX Library Childs-Toy SFX Toy box SFX Library Toy plane SFX Library Chew Toy SFX Library Baby toy SFX Library Rc toy SFX Library Toy drone SFX Library Toy-Piano SFX Toy instrument SFX Library Toy car SFX Library Toy Train SFX Library Toy-Car SFX Toy Toy gun SFX Library Toy airplane SFX Library Toy motor SFX Library Toy wheels SFX Library Toy flute SFX Library Toy Collection Toy Clock SFX Library Zurg Toy Story Toy Story 4 Toy Story 3 (2010)
A costume? This is for a short person.
A costume? This is for a short person.
A federal case? Maybe we ought to run a little party for the senator.
A federal case? Maybe we ought to run a little party for the senator.
A fellow called Lord Cavendish. He met this fellow Bates.
A fellow called Lord Cavendish. He met this fellow Bates.
A little light.
A little light.
A paying job will convince them of your sincerity...
A paying job will convince them of your sincerity...
A press card, salary, everything.
A press card, salary, everything.
A quarter. I'll buy a car.
A quarter. I'll buy a car.
A toy?
A toy?
About a thousand.
About a thousand.
After what I did to your party, I think we're even, okay?
After what I did to your party, I think we're even, okay?
All right, I'll pay you on an hourly basis, sir.
All right, I'll pay you on an hourly basis, sir.
All right, I'll see you next year.
All right, I'll see you next year.
All right, war has been declared!
All right, war has been declared!
All right, what do you need?
All right, what do you need?
All right!
All right!
All right. Say "cheese."
All right. Say "cheese."
All this is not boring? All this garbage?
All this is not boring? All this garbage?
All this time you didn't know my metal things were propellers?
All this time you didn't know my metal things were propellers?
Amazing.
Amazing.
And a charge card at Neiman's.
And a charge card at Neiman's.
And a mink coat.
And a mink coat.
And a pink Continental.
And a pink Continental.
And after you shave, you're fired.
And after you shave, you're fired.
And anything you want.
And anything you want.
And Bates sent them over on a 747, first class.
And Bates sent them over on a 747, first class.
And don't forget to focus. Okay?
And don't forget to focus. Okay?
And don't worry about your thing.
And don't worry about your thing.
And each year, we'd have a different color.
And each year, we'd have a different color.
And he gave me new hair.
And he gave me new hair.
And he lifted me out of all that misery.
And he lifted me out of all that misery.
And he said, "You let that black man serve."
And he said, "You let that black man serve."
And he told me...
And he told me...
And I swear, if you don't believe in prayers and miracles...
And I swear, if you don't believe in prayers and miracles...
And none of us have beards.
And none of us have beards.
And one of his gang came up and stuck a gun in my ribs.
And one of his gang came up and stuck a gun in my ribs.
And orangutans. You understand? Kids will want a Jack Brown wind up.
And orangutans. You understand? Kids will want a Jack Brown wind up.
And she loves to be filled with righteous indignation.
And she loves to be filled with righteous indignation.
And that was 1978. Good heavens, time goes quickly.
And that was 1978. Good heavens, time goes quickly.
And that's some trick.
And that's some trick.
And then he gave me new boobs.
And then he gave me new boobs.
And then I want them shredded.
And then I want them shredded.
And then you're gonna jump her bones?
And then you're gonna jump her bones?
And they won't want no sad pandas. And no camels.
And they won't want no sad pandas. And no camels.
And we'd sorta do a practice run on you.
And we'd sorta do a practice run on you.
And you have a lot of hair on your lip.
And you have a lot of hair on your lip.
Angela, this is for you!
Angela, this is for you!
Anybody seen the little monster this morning?
Anybody seen the little monster this morning?
Anything. Absolutely.
Anything. Absolutely.
Are we gonna play? What have you got?
Are we gonna play? What have you got?
Are you all right, Master Bates? Are you?
Are you all right, Master Bates? Are you?
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
Are you ashamed of me?
Are you ashamed of me?
Are you at the store?
Are you at the store?
Are you crazy?
Are you crazy?
Are you gonna do that every time?
Are you gonna do that every time?
Around here. But the boy...
Around here. But the boy...
At any rate my friend, my lord, my boss...
At any rate my friend, my lord, my boss...
Attention, Jack Brown and Master Bates.
Attention, Jack Brown and Master Bates.
Barkley!
Barkley!
Be careful of the table.
Be careful of the table.
Be ready. Somebody get Matoussac.
Be ready. Somebody get Matoussac.
Because it's goodbye for you guys.
Because it's goodbye for you guys.
Because the bullshit's getting thick. Piranhas?
Because the bullshit's getting thick. Piranhas?
Because...
Because...
Best of all, I wouldn't have to go back to that school.
Best of all, I wouldn't have to go back to that school.
Better than the dinner I gave you on the floor last night.
Better than the dinner I gave you on the floor last night.
Billiards. Take a pole, hit the balls into pockets.
Billiards. Take a pole, hit the balls into pockets.
Blue, 26, 32.
Blue, 26, 32.
Boring.
Boring.
Bounces. Dance on it.
Bounces. Dance on it.
Box the robot.
Box the robot.
Boys will be boys, God bless him.
Boys will be boys, God bless him.
Bring them down. We'll barbecue them.
Bring them down. We'll barbecue them.
But I can't swim!
But I can't swim!
But I want you to do what's right.
But I want you to do what's right.
Buy her a puppy. Get her some ice cream. Play tiddlywinks.
Buy her a puppy. Get her some ice cream. Play tiddlywinks.
By the hour.
By the hour.
Calm down, calm down. Calm down!
Calm down, calm down. Calm down!
Can I say something to you? I admire your moral fiber.
Can I say something to you? I admire your moral fiber.
Can I take something?
Can I take something?
Can I take your photo?
Can I take your photo?
Can you give me $10 for a cab? All I need is 10. Just $10.
Can you give me $10 for a cab? All I need is 10. Just $10.
Can't you play the game?
Can't you play the game?
Careful. It's hot.
Careful. It's hot.
Certainly not. Do you want Barkley to take you?
Certainly not. Do you want Barkley to take you?
Chicken, Mr. Morehouse?
Chicken, Mr. Morehouse?
Chop, chop! Give him a ticket!
Chop, chop! Give him a ticket!
Cleaning lady? Cleaning lady?
Cleaning lady? Cleaning lady?
Come here, man.
Come here, man.
Come in.
Come in.
Come in.
Come in.
Come in.
Come in.
Come in. We'll discuss moral fiber.
Come in. We'll discuss moral fiber.
Come on over and meet the senator.
Come on over and meet the senator.
Come on, honey. Walk this way.
Come on, honey. Walk this way.
Come on, Jack.
Come on, Jack.
Come on, Jack. Get...
Come on, Jack. Get...
Come on, Jack. Hurry up.
Come on, Jack. Hurry up.
Come on, Jack. I'll race you for a beer.
Come on, Jack. I'll race you for a beer.
Come on, Jack. Let's go play some more games.
Come on, Jack. Let's go play some more games.
Come on, Jack. You gotta let me win this.
Come on, Jack. You gotta let me win this.
Come on, man.
Come on, man.
Come on, Shorty. Come on. Watch yourself. Come on.
Come on, Shorty. Come on. Watch yourself. Come on.
Come on, Wonder Wheel. Where's your heart?
Come on, Wonder Wheel. Where's your heart?
Come on, you can do it.
Come on, you can do it.
Come on! Come on, Wonder Wheel.
Come on! Come on, Wonder Wheel.
Come on! You don't believe me?
Come on! You don't believe me?
Come on. Don't do that to me.
Come on. Don't do that to me.
Come on. Don't, you can't. We've been through too much together.
Come on. Don't, you can't. We've been through too much together.
Come on. Get out!
Come on. Get out!
Come on. Get out!
Come on. Get out!
Come on. Get up.
Come on. Get up.
Come on. Grab this.
Come on. Grab this.
Come on. No.
Come on. No.
Come see my train.
Come see my train.
Couldn't we get these in a 40 Iow?
Couldn't we get these in a 40 Iow?
Cover your lip.
Cover your lip.
Cover your lip. Mustache.
Cover your lip. Mustache.
Dad! Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Daddy said anything I wanted, anything in the store.
Daddy said anything I wanted, anything in the store.
Daddy, are you okay?
Daddy, are you okay?
Daddy!
Daddy!
Daddy's giving you a lot of money.
Daddy's giving you a lot of money.
Damn you! Do you see any piranhas?
Damn you! Do you see any piranhas?
Damn, man. I am your friend, Eric.
Damn, man. I am your friend, Eric.
Democrats don't normally support us in the open.
Democrats don't normally support us in the open.
Didn't I tell you to shave?
Didn't I tell you to shave?
Didn't you listen to me?
Didn't you listen to me?
Didn't you see All the President's Men?
Didn't you see All the President's Men?
Do I have to stay? I'm an accountant. Will he exceed his credit?
Do I have to stay? I'm an accountant. Will he exceed his credit?
Do you know that?
Do you know that?
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know what I mean?
Do you know why they're having a party downstairs?
Do you know why they're having a party downstairs?
Do you mate a lot?
Do you mate a lot?
Do you want me to find him?
Do you want me to find him?
Does everybody around here say that?
Does everybody around here say that?
Does Fancy have to come to Six Flags with us?
Does Fancy have to come to Six Flags with us?
Doesn't anybody talk to you, like your father?
Doesn't anybody talk to you, like your father?
Doesn't my daddy make the laws?
Doesn't my daddy make the laws?
Don't jump her. Just dance!
Don't jump her. Just dance!
Don't know my own strength.
Don't know my own strength.
Don't let go.
Don't let go.
Don't touch that table.
Don't touch that table.
Don't worry about that now.
Don't worry about that now.
Don't you know it's part of the black cultural imperative?
Don't you know it's part of the black cultural imperative?
Don't you know that physical love is the easy part?
Don't you know that physical love is the easy part?
Don't you know that?
Don't you know that?
Don't, Dad! I want him back! Don't! I want Jack back.
Don't, Dad! I want him back! Don't! I want Jack back.
Duck, you suckers!
Duck, you suckers!
Each time I think you're a rotten kid, you do something real nice.
Each time I think you're a rotten kid, you do something real nice.
Elbows off the table.
Elbows off the table.
Eric and I are gonna start a newspaper tomorrow.
Eric and I are gonna start a newspaper tomorrow.
Eric, how many of those papers did you hand out?
Eric, how many of those papers did you hand out?
Eric, I'm trying. Give me a chance.
Eric, I'm trying. Give me a chance.
Eric, I've got a surprise for you. Your present's arrived.
Eric, I've got a surprise for you. Your present's arrived.
Eric, you're too big to bathe with another naked man!
Eric, you're too big to bathe with another naked man!
Eric! Come on, Scoop. Get up! Time to go to work.
Eric! Come on, Scoop. Get up! Time to go to work.
Eric! Open this door, you little shit!
Eric! Open this door, you little shit!
Eric's not a bad boy. High spirited. I like that.
Eric's not a bad boy. High spirited. I like that.
Every weeknight you have to clean the window displays for three hours.
Every weeknight you have to clean the window displays for three hours.
Everybody, ain't I a writer?
Everybody, ain't I a writer?
Excuse me, Mr. Morehouse.
Excuse me, Mr. Morehouse.
Excuse me. May I have your attention?
Excuse me. May I have your attention?
Fair weather friend, the bastard. I told you to dance!
Fair weather friend, the bastard. I told you to dance!
Fancy and I were talking the other day...
Fancy and I were talking the other day...
Federal. Now where's that limey of yours with the bourbon?
Federal. Now where's that limey of yours with the bourbon?
Feel the ball. Bounce it.
Feel the ball. Bounce it.
Fine, sir. Good. Wonderful.
Fine, sir. Good. Wonderful.
First one up is a rotten egg.
First one up is a rotten egg.
For fish?
For fish?
Forget you know me.
Forget you know me.
Freeze! Put your hands up!
Freeze! Put your hands up!
Get a job! Get a job! Get a job!
Get a job! Get a job! Get a job!
Get better lawyers. That's too long.
Get better lawyers. That's too long.
Get dressed.
Get dressed.
Get in the car, son.
Get in the car, son.
Get out of here, will you? You're disrupting the cast.
Get out of here, will you? You're disrupting the cast.
Get the tents!
Get the tents!
Get your paper!
Get your paper!
Get your paper! Read all about it!
Get your paper! Read all about it!
Give him a ticket. Put it on.
Give him a ticket. Put it on.
Give me a hand. Somebody give me a hand.
Give me a hand. Somebody give me a hand.
Go ahead, sugar.
Go ahead, sugar.
Go deep. Swing left on blue, okay?
Go deep. Swing left on blue, okay?
Go for it!
Go for it!
Go out the side door.
Go out the side door.
Go see the people in Mr. Bates' newspaper.
Go see the people in Mr. Bates' newspaper.
God bless. God bless you.
God bless. God bless you.
Good boy. You want your submarine?
Good boy. You want your submarine?
Good luck, Mr. Morehouse.
Good luck, Mr. Morehouse.
Good man. Father and husband. Mortgage.
Good man. Father and husband. Mortgage.
Good morning, U.S.
Good morning, U.S.
Good to see you. How are things going?
Good to see you. How are things going?
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
Goodbye! I want my clothes!
Goodbye! I want my clothes!
Got it, I got it.
Got it, I got it.
Greetings, senator!
Greetings, senator!
Hang on to your seat!
Hang on to your seat!
Have you ever let your son sit on your lap...
Have you ever let your son sit on your lap...
He bought a black man.
He bought a black man.
He can do a lot of damage.
He can do a lot of damage.
He doesn't care his son is a quitter?
He doesn't care his son is a quitter?
He doesn't care what I am, as long as I stay out of his way.
He doesn't care what I am, as long as I stay out of his way.
He doesn't know what he's saying. Music! Everybody dance.
He doesn't know what he's saying. Music! Everybody dance.
He fired a man because he had sweaty hands?
He fired a man because he had sweaty hands?
He has no power. Of course it's people for him.
He has no power. Of course it's people for him.
He has nothing else.
He has nothing else.
He never loved me.
He never loved me.
He says friends are most important.
He says friends are most important.
He says I'm sexy and he loves the chicken.
He says I'm sexy and he loves the chicken.
He says you don't have any friends and that you know two kinds of people:
He says you don't have any friends and that you know two kinds of people:
He says, "You're responsible for the lunchroom." You know him.
He says, "You're responsible for the lunchroom." You know him.
He should understand that money means never being sorry.
He should understand that money means never being sorry.
He treats people like nothing. Didn't you read our paper?
He treats people like nothing. Didn't you read our paper?
He wants one in black, all right?
He wants one in black, all right?
He wants to talk to you. Go on down there.
He wants to talk to you. Go on down there.
He was driving down the steps.
He was driving down the steps.
He was pushy, Eric. He insisted on shaking hands with your father.
He was pushy, Eric. He insisted on shaking hands with your father.
He...
He...
He's fired. Did you fire him?
He's fired. Did you fire him?
He's gonna want to see all of this. So you know your job.
He's gonna want to see all of this. So you know your job.
He's got a son and he hired me...
He's got a son and he hired me...
He's in trouble!
He's in trouble!
He's just used to getting his own way.
He's just used to getting his own way.
He's manipulative. It's a power play.
He's manipulative. It's a power play.
He's one of the nicest kids I've ever met. He's really...
He's one of the nicest kids I've ever met. He's really...
He's raising money for the KKK fund.
He's raising money for the KKK fund.
He's reaching out to you. He's making an effort. You're not.
He's reaching out to you. He's making an effort. You're not.
He's real cute too and I want to pinch his nose."
He's real cute too and I want to pinch his nose."
He's trouble. See the mustache? I asked him to shave.
He's trouble. See the mustache? I asked him to shave.
Heaven forbid you might learn something useful.
Heaven forbid you might learn something useful.
Heaven forbid! You just tell him no, you ass.
Heaven forbid! You just tell him no, you ass.
Hello, Eric.
Hello, Eric.
Hello, Mr. Brown.
Hello, Mr. Brown.
Help, please. I need air.
Help, please. I need air.
Help! Wonder Wheel!
Help! Wonder Wheel!
Here we are, young man. Shall I wait?
Here we are, young man. Shall I wait?
Here we go!
Here we go!
Here you go.
Here you go.
Here you go. Read this paper.
Here you go. Read this paper.
Here's a hat. Now put it on. Let's go!
Here's a hat. Now put it on. Let's go!
Here's to Cavendish. May his pool game improve.
Here's to Cavendish. May his pool game improve.
Here's your breakfast. How are you this morning?
Here's your breakfast. How are you this morning?
Here's your Phi Beta. I'm sorry.
Here's your Phi Beta. I'm sorry.
Herefords or something. About 700 of them.
Herefords or something. About 700 of them.
Hey, brother. Where you going?
Hey, brother. Where you going?
Hey, I know what. We'll start a newspaper. You can be a reporter.
Hey, I know what. We'll start a newspaper. You can be a reporter.
Hey, Jack. You got some rich friends.
Hey, Jack. You got some rich friends.
Hey, pops. What do you need?
Hey, pops. What do you need?
Hey! Halt.
Hey! Halt.
Hey! What, you crazy idiot!
Hey! What, you crazy idiot!
Hi, Dad!
Hi, Dad!
Hi, how are you? Good to see you.
Hi, how are you? Good to see you.
His name is Jack Brown. Jack, Master Bates.
His name is Jack Brown. Jack, Master Bates.
Hit the button on the left of the drawer.
Hit the button on the left of the drawer.
Hold those while I get in. Bless your heart. Good luck to you. Thank you.
Hold those while I get in. Bless your heart. Good luck to you. Thank you.
Holy cow! It works!
Holy cow! It works!
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
How about you and me going to Europe together?
How about you and me going to Europe together?
How are the boys?
How are the boys?
How attached are you to that beard?
How attached are you to that beard?
How disgusting for him to force himself into my room. Go to bed!
How disgusting for him to force himself into my room. Go to bed!
How was the flight?
How was the flight?
How's school?
How's school?
How's your math?
How's your math?
Hurry!
Hurry!
I always thought that they conducted their proms in an excellent manner.
I always thought that they conducted their proms in an excellent manner.
I am Swiss. I know nothing! Oh, Eric!
I am Swiss. I know nothing! Oh, Eric!
I am talking about, I have pets. I have friends.
I am talking about, I have pets. I have friends.
I am too. I'm a journalist.
I am too. I'm a journalist.
I appreciate you throwing this party for us.
I appreciate you throwing this party for us.
I assume, Brown, you know the penalties for libel?
I assume, Brown, you know the penalties for libel?
I came down to do a little fishing this afternoon...
I came down to do a little fishing this afternoon...
I can be a part time woman. I'm a part time woman.
I can be a part time woman. I'm a part time woman.
I can do anything a woman can do. Almost.
I can do anything a woman can do. Almost.
I can fix this.
I can fix this.
I can see the headline:
I can see the headline:
I can... I can go help fix this.
I can... I can go help fix this.
I can't be wrapped unless you have ribbon or something soft.
I can't be wrapped unless you have ribbon or something soft.
I can't feed myself on high ideas and principles.
I can't feed myself on high ideas and principles.
I can't take you anywhere!
I can't take you anywhere!
I didn't ask, huh?
I didn't ask, huh?
I didn't figure your weight in the turn. Great ride, though.
I didn't figure your weight in the turn. Great ride, though.
I didn't fire him. You're the ones...
I didn't fire him. You're the ones...
I didn't hire him."
I didn't hire him."
I do need you. And I love you.
I do need you. And I love you.
I don't care. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't care. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't feel like playing anymore.
I don't feel like playing anymore.
I don't have to stay long?
I don't have to stay long?
I don't know. It turned out they were both gamblers.
I don't know. It turned out they were both gamblers.
I don't like it. I tried it. Believe me, I have dignity.
I don't like it. I tried it. Believe me, I have dignity.
I don't like this mean game you're playing with your dad.
I don't like this mean game you're playing with your dad.
I don't want this job. I'm gonna lose it anyways.
I don't want this job. I'm gonna lose it anyways.
I don't want to be a Wonder Wheel murderer.
I don't want to be a Wonder Wheel murderer.
I don't want to stay because I don't have anyone to play with!
I don't want to stay because I don't have anyone to play with!
I exercise my patience.
I exercise my patience.
I forbid you! Oh, God!
I forbid you! Oh, God!
I forgot it was his week.
I forgot it was his week.
I get to open it. It's my present.
I get to open it. It's my present.
I got 16 plants, and my lady.
I got 16 plants, and my lady.
I got a job. I guess I can be happy about that.
I got a job. I guess I can be happy about that.
I got a pair of nines.
I got a pair of nines.
I got a straight. I almost got a straight.
I got a straight. I almost got a straight.
I got you! You give up?
I got you! You give up?
I got you. I got you. I got you!
I got you. I got you. I got you!
I gotta play in the grownup world.
I gotta play in the grownup world.
I gotta pull my boots up real high.
I gotta pull my boots up real high.
I had to let Mr. Geffran...
I had to let Mr. Geffran...
I hate German.
I hate German.
I hate typing.
I hate typing.
I hate you calling me "Scoop." I want to be the editor.
I hate you calling me "Scoop." I want to be the editor.
I have a job. Writing a book is a job.
I have a job. Writing a book is a job.
I have an idea. You want to go fishing?
I have an idea. You want to go fishing?
I haven't finished the book. When I do, I'll get the money.
I haven't finished the book. When I do, I'll get the money.
I hope it'll start a trend to solve the unemployment situation.
I hope it'll start a trend to solve the unemployment situation.
I hope you have a good explanation for this.
I hope you have a good explanation for this.
I just love educational toys.
I just love educational toys.
I just want a job.
I just want a job.
I just wanted you all to see what U.S. Bought his boy today.
I just wanted you all to see what U.S. Bought his boy today.
I like him.
I like him.
I like you.
I like you.
I love it.
I love it.
I love you, Daddy. I really love you.
I love you, Daddy. I really love you.
I love you, Jack.
I love you, Jack.
I may be a bastard, Mr. Bates, but l...
I may be a bastard, Mr. Bates, but l...
I mean, all these people kissing your ass isn't boring?
I mean, all these people kissing your ass isn't boring?
I mean, you don't throw firecrackers at them.
I mean, you don't throw firecrackers at them.
I mean...
I mean...
I need?
I need?
I only have the boy for one week a year.
I only have the boy for one week a year.
I really love you.
I really love you.
I remember she was...
I remember she was...
I said, "Mr. Bates, Mr. Morehouse hired him.
I said, "Mr. Bates, Mr. Morehouse hired him.
I said, "Sure, yes. What'd you think? You know that."
I said, "Sure, yes. What'd you think? You know that."
I said, take your pants down. Right here. Right now.
I said, take your pants down. Right here. Right now.
I take a little something so I can sleep, and tonight I took two.
I take a little something so I can sleep, and tonight I took two.
I think he's got a point there.
I think he's got a point there.
I think it's the orchestra. Come in. Party's in the back.
I think it's the orchestra. Come in. Party's in the back.
I think we have to butter your bread.
I think we have to butter your bread.
I think you're trouble. Mr. Bates doesn't want any trouble.
I think you're trouble. Mr. Bates doesn't want any trouble.
I think.
I think.
I thought three weeks with that shrink would do.
I thought three weeks with that shrink would do.
I thought we were talking about your father.
I thought we were talking about your father.
I thought you were world class.
I thought you were world class.
I waited tables in college.
I waited tables in college.
I wanna call you "Scoop."
I wanna call you "Scoop."
I want each paper accounted for.
I want each paper accounted for.
I want my clothes!
I want my clothes!
I want my clothes!
I want my clothes!
I want them both here...
I want them both here...
I want to be the editor.
I want to be the editor.
I want to see my friend before he goes to work.
I want to see my friend before he goes to work.
I want you to do what's right.
I want you to do what's right.
I want you to play with kids.
I want you to play with kids.
I want you to take me.
I want you to take me.
I want you to understand something.
I want you to understand something.
I wanted a pool but Dad said it was dangerous.
I wanted a pool but Dad said it was dangerous.
I was employed... What was I talking about?
I was employed... What was I talking about?
I was just kidding, man.
I was just kidding, man.
I was wondering if you'd tell us how you and your wife met.
I was wondering if you'd tell us how you and your wife met.
I went to bed. Is this Jack's?
I went to bed. Is this Jack's?
I will not be denied, Sidney.
I will not be denied, Sidney.
I wouldn't think this would tickle a grown man.
I wouldn't think this would tickle a grown man.
I'd like to call the hurry up squad. I've got a good hand.
I'd like to call the hurry up squad. I've got a good hand.
I'd settle for $400 and a job on The Bugle.
I'd settle for $400 and a job on The Bugle.
I'll call you "Scoop."
I'll call you "Scoop."
I'll do that. You can eat them.
I'll do that. You can eat them.
I'll end up in this room with all you toys for the rest of my life.
I'll end up in this room with all you toys for the rest of my life.
I'll get you! There's no way to get away!
I'll get you! There's no way to get away!
I'll kill him. I'll pull his head off. I'll get him!
I'll kill him. I'll pull his head off. I'll get him!
I'll never doubt your word again. They're murderers!
I'll never doubt your word again. They're murderers!
I'll show him how to do an interview...
I'll show him how to do an interview...
I'll sit in your lap. "How you doing?" Hug me. Come on.
I'll sit in your lap. "How you doing?" Hug me. Come on.
I'm a man who gets what he wants by patience.
I'm a man who gets what he wants by patience.
I'm doing it myself!
I'm doing it myself!
I'm doing it myself! I'm doing it myself!
I'm doing it myself! I'm doing it myself!
I'm Eric Bates!
I'm Eric Bates!
I'm fine. How are you?
I'm fine. How are you?
I'm glad to see you. Look at those bracelets. Where did you get them?
I'm glad to see you. Look at those bracelets. Where did you get them?
I'm glad you're here. We're gonna have a wonderful week.
I'm glad you're here. We're gonna have a wonderful week.
I'm going in there because...
I'm going in there because...
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna kill you.
I'm gonna raise you a dollar in food stamps.
I'm gonna raise you a dollar in food stamps.
I'm Honey Russell, the D.A.'s wife.
I'm Honey Russell, the D.A.'s wife.
I'm insulted and I'm splitting.
I'm insulted and I'm splitting.
I'm Jack Brown. I'm sorry I messed up your carpet.
I'm Jack Brown. I'm sorry I messed up your carpet.
I'm looking for Miss Ruby D. Simpson.
I'm looking for Miss Ruby D. Simpson.
I'm not gonna say it anymore.
I'm not gonna say it anymore.
I'm not gonna vacuum with my beard. That's the '60s. This is the '80s.
I'm not gonna vacuum with my beard. That's the '60s. This is the '80s.
I'm not kidding you! There are piranhas in there.
I'm not kidding you! There are piranhas in there.
I'm not kidding!
I'm not kidding!
I'm not trouble. My girlfriend, she's trouble.
I'm not trouble. My girlfriend, she's trouble.
I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I'm pretty good.
I'm pretty good.
I'm so sorry. Thank you very much.
I'm so sorry. Thank you very much.
I'm sorry, Mr. Brown! Gosh! He'll never do that again. Please!
I'm sorry, Mr. Brown! Gosh! He'll never do that again. Please!
I'm sorry, U.S. Goes back to you.
I'm sorry, U.S. Goes back to you.
I'm sorry. I was bragging. You liked for me to brag on you.
I'm sorry. I was bragging. You liked for me to brag on you.
I'm taking over all of the stores next Christmas.
I'm taking over all of the stores next Christmas.
I'm the king of ghetto hockey. You ain't gonna beat me.
I'm the king of ghetto hockey. You ain't gonna beat me.
I'm the new cleaning lady.
I'm the new cleaning lady.
I'm the new cleaning lady.
I'm the new cleaning lady.
I'm the new part time cleaning lady, sir, at the store.
I'm the new part time cleaning lady, sir, at the store.
I'm the Wonder Wheel champion of the world!
I'm the Wonder Wheel champion of the world!
I'm trying to stop them, but I can't help if you don't have a job.
I'm trying to stop them, but I can't help if you don't have a job.
I'm trying to talk to you.
I'm trying to talk to you.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.
I've been trying to get a job on your newspaper.
I've been trying to get a job on your newspaper.
I've got something to say.
I've got something to say.
I've got the key.
I've got the key.
I've had enough of this.
I've had enough of this.
I've had enough of your routine.
I've had enough of your routine.
I've had it! I've had it with you!
I've had it! I've had it with you!
If ever two people needed each other, it's you two.
If ever two people needed each other, it's you two.
If my father's rotten, does it mean I'll be rotten too?
If my father's rotten, does it mean I'll be rotten too?
If they knew it was a fundraiser, we'd be alone.
If they knew it was a fundraiser, we'd be alone.
If they knew this was a fundraiser, we'd be all alone.
If they knew this was a fundraiser, we'd be all alone.
If y'all want one for your children, we're taking orders...
If y'all want one for your children, we're taking orders...
If you can't find it, come back to the front again.
If you can't find it, come back to the front again.
If you don't come and finish your dinner...
If you don't come and finish your dinner...
If you have a friend, you ask them.
If you have a friend, you ask them.
If you love him and if you need him, you gotta tell him so.
If you love him and if you need him, you gotta tell him so.
If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend.
If you want a friend, you don't buy a friend.
If you're hopeless too, I don't mind.
If you're hopeless too, I don't mind.
In reality, any one of these people, with a little persuasion...
In reality, any one of these people, with a little persuasion...
In that order. Not all the vegetables at one time.
In that order. Not all the vegetables at one time.
In the slammer, mammer.
In the slammer, mammer.
Is everybody like this? Does this go on every day?
Is everybody like this? Does this go on every day?
Is it about the party? Everything's arranged beautifully.
Is it about the party? Everything's arranged beautifully.
Is it possible for you to come and spend a few weeks with us...
Is it possible for you to come and spend a few weeks with us...
Is she foxy? What kind of trouble could she be?
Is she foxy? What kind of trouble could she be?
Is there no Miss Jackie Brown?
Is there no Miss Jackie Brown?
Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?
Is this a hypothetical question or is there a lady involved?
Is this a protest?
Is this a protest?
Isn't that a magnificent arrangement of dominoes?
Isn't that a magnificent arrangement of dominoes?
It Came from the Tub, starring Eric Bates as "It."
It Came from the Tub, starring Eric Bates as "It."
It doesn't balance out.
It doesn't balance out.
It doesn't even need batteries. Isn't that sweet?
It doesn't even need batteries. Isn't that sweet?
It doesn't matter the compensation. The answer is no!
It doesn't matter the compensation. The answer is no!
It doesn't work. That's why it's dangerous.
It doesn't work. That's why it's dangerous.
It hardly covered her.
It hardly covered her.
It might have been a nice trip.
It might have been a nice trip.
It used to be my pleasure to buy the band uniforms.
It used to be my pleasure to buy the band uniforms.
It was a little bar outside of Amarillo, Texas.
It was a little bar outside of Amarillo, Texas.
It was very embarrassing. He's gonna auction off the house.
It was very embarrassing. He's gonna auction off the house.
It works!
It works!
It's a little light here. Thank you.
It's a little light here. Thank you.
It's a shame to waste that equipment.
It's a shame to waste that equipment.
It's about Eric.
It's about Eric.
It's against the law, isn't it?
It's against the law, isn't it?
It's all right with me, big man.
It's all right with me, big man.
It's always my fault. Well, it wasn't. It was Fancy's.
It's always my fault. Well, it wasn't. It was Fancy's.
It's always my toy department! Why can't he get into stereos?
It's always my toy department! Why can't he get into stereos?
It's called a "wrap party." This is all for you guys.
It's called a "wrap party." This is all for you guys.
It's exactly like Cinderella.
It's exactly like Cinderella.
It's for real.
It's for real.
It's just a joke.
It's just a joke.
It's just the sweetest story.
It's just the sweetest story.
It's Mr. Bates' collection and I'm in charge.
It's Mr. Bates' collection and I'm in charge.
It's not like everybody doesn't know already.
It's not like everybody doesn't know already.
It's only a fault in the electrical system, I'm sure.
It's only a fault in the electrical system, I'm sure.
It's really something.
It's really something.
It's rewarding. Have a seat.
It's rewarding. Have a seat.
It's that bad out there?
It's that bad out there?
It's where I might be shortly. I think it's real relevant.
It's where I might be shortly. I think it's real relevant.
It's your bedtime. Put your toy away and go to sleep.
It's your bedtime. Put your toy away and go to sleep.
It's your department.
It's your department.
Its open mindedness.
Its open mindedness.
Jack says life's about people, not about your power.
Jack says life's about people, not about your power.
Jack, get out of here.
Jack, get out of here.
Jack, I gave out my last one.
Jack, I gave out my last one.
Jack, I'm gonna get you for this!
Jack, I'm gonna get you for this!
Jack, now we can buy the house!
Jack, now we can buy the house!
Jack, you're asking for it again.
Jack, you're asking for it again.
Jack, your army buddy came to my office today.
Jack, your army buddy came to my office today.
Jack! Let me out of here! Barkley, you're fired!
Jack! Let me out of here! Barkley, you're fired!
Jack... Jack... I'm gonna fall.
Jack... Jack... I'm gonna fall.
Jackie Brown.
Jackie Brown.
Jesus Christ! Are you crazy?
Jesus Christ! Are you crazy?
Jesus! Come on, follow that kid!
Jesus! Come on, follow that kid!
Jesus! What the...
Jesus! What the...
Just a minute, my friend. I'm gonna take your picture for the paper.
Just a minute, my friend. I'm gonna take your picture for the paper.
Just a minute!
Just a minute!
Just because your dad owns one...
Just because your dad owns one...
Just bite the end off. And spit it in your hand.
Just bite the end off. And spit it in your hand.
Just get out! Out! Out!
Just get out! Out! Out!
Just playing, Daddy.
Just playing, Daddy.
Just show her some of your heart, what you're made of.
Just show her some of your heart, what you're made of.
Just to show you that I have a good heart...
Just to show you that I have a good heart...
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Keep your hands up. Protect yourself at all times.
Kids will holler for me. They won't want no teddy bears like you.
Kids will holler for me. They won't want no teddy bears like you.
Klansman, let's go.
Klansman, let's go.
Know what I mean, soul brother?
Know what I mean, soul brother?
Know what to do next time you have a party?
Know what to do next time you have a party?
Let Carter do it. I want you back here.
Let Carter do it. I want you back here.
Let loose of me.
Let loose of me.
Let me go! Don't spank me, Jack.
Let me go! Don't spank me, Jack.
Let me guess. You're the new second floor sprinkler system.
Let me guess. You're the new second floor sprinkler system.
Let me say something.
Let me say something.
Let's get out of here!
Let's get out of here!
Let's get out.
Let's get out.
Let's go play the game.
Let's go play the game.
Let's go up there, man, and take a rest.
Let's go up there, man, and take a rest.
Let's say every goal I get, you have to stay another year.
Let's say every goal I get, you have to stay another year.
Let's see, hand, football.
Let's see, hand, football.
Listen, I'll be the editor and you be the reporter.
Listen, I'll be the editor and you be the reporter.
Listen, you gotta be nice to her.
Listen, you gotta be nice to her.
Litigious.
Litigious.
Look around! You kidding me?
Look around! You kidding me?
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Looks like a job for me.
Looks like a job for me.
Lord, have mercy. Morehouse done flipped his wig.
Lord, have mercy. Morehouse done flipped his wig.
Man, no jive. This is... That's good.
Man, no jive. This is... That's good.
Maybe Lord Cavendish should get better at pool.
Maybe Lord Cavendish should get better at pool.
Me too. Let's go fishing.
Me too. Let's go fishing.
Me, the wind up asshole. Yes, that's me.
Me, the wind up asshole. Yes, that's me.
Me, U. S?
Me, U. S?
Meet my friend Clarence.
Meet my friend Clarence.
Met him in a theater queue or somewhere.
Met him in a theater queue or somewhere.
Mine had four eggs on it.
Mine had four eggs on it.
Miracle Wonder Wheel! The best one!
Miracle Wonder Wheel! The best one!
Miss Jackie Brown.
Miss Jackie Brown.
Money? You're not hearing me. I was embarrassed and humiliated!
Money? You're not hearing me. I was embarrassed and humiliated!
Morning, Barkley!
Morning, Barkley!
Move it.
Move it.
Mr. Bates, please don't shoot me!
Mr. Bates, please don't shoot me!
Mr. Bates, sir...
Mr. Bates, sir...
Mr. Bates!
Mr. Bates!
Mr. Bates'll get a lot of mileage out of that photo.
Mr. Bates'll get a lot of mileage out of that photo.
Mr. Brown, I'll make it pleasant. I will scrub your back.
Mr. Brown, I'll make it pleasant. I will scrub your back.
Mr. Brown, maybe I could use your talents on The Bugle.
Mr. Brown, maybe I could use your talents on The Bugle.
Mr. Brown, please!
Mr. Brown, please!
Mr. Brown, we're looking for a woman to do a little part time cleaning...
Mr. Brown, we're looking for a woman to do a little part time cleaning...
Mr. Morehouse, you gonna be all right?
Mr. Morehouse, you gonna be all right?
Mr. Morehouse.
Mr. Morehouse.
Mr. Morehouse.
Mr. Morehouse.
My bedroom's over here.
My bedroom's over here.
My father will tell you to drop your pants, and you're gonna do it.
My father will tell you to drop your pants, and you're gonna do it.
My wife.
My wife.
Next year, he'll have two weeks.
Next year, he'll have two weeks.
Nice to meet you. You better be right.
Nice to meet you. You better be right.
Nice Wonder Wheel! Stop!
Nice Wonder Wheel! Stop!
No hole.
No hole.
No next month. No next year.
No next month. No next year.
No now. No tomorrow. No next week.
No now. No tomorrow. No next week.
No now. No tomorrow. No next week. I'm not...
No now. No tomorrow. No next week. I'm not...
No physical contact. We'll lose our license.
No physical contact. We'll lose our license.
No tigers, leopards, lions, rabbits.
No tigers, leopards, lions, rabbits.
No, as my friend.
No, as my friend.
No, Eric, no. Not today. Not now. Not ever.
No, Eric, no. Not today. Not now. Not ever.
No, he made me do it.
No, he made me do it.
No, he's not playing with me. I'm his son's toy, Eric.
No, he's not playing with me. I'm his son's toy, Eric.
No, I can do it. I can do it, Mr. Bates.
No, I can do it. I can do it, Mr. Bates.
No, in our newspaper.
No, in our newspaper.
No, my salad.
No, my salad.
No, no. Do you see that kid over there?
No, no. Do you see that kid over there?
No, now Jack... Daddy, we were...
No, now Jack... Daddy, we were...
No, sir. Not me.
No, sir. Not me.
No, these other people got to eat.
No, these other people got to eat.
No, you don't!
No, you don't!
No! As you say, you know?
No! As you say, you know?
No.
No.
No. Answer's no.
No. Answer's no.
No. But I'm definitely gonna tell her that I love her with all my heart.
No. But I'm definitely gonna tell her that I love her with all my heart.
No. I'll be truthful with you.
No. I'll be truthful with you.
No. Running away, what is that?
No. Running away, what is that?
No. The job. I'll tell you what to do. Just a moment.
No. The job. I'll tell you what to do. Just a moment.
No. This is my house.
No. This is my house.
No. Who?
No. Who?
Nobody throws a garden party like U.S. Bates.
Nobody throws a garden party like U.S. Bates.
Not just about Daddy, but everything else that's wrong.
Not just about Daddy, but everything else that's wrong.
Not on the paper...
Not on the paper...
Not until you finish your meal!
Not until you finish your meal!
Not you. You can take a bath in my room and I'll wash you.
Not you. You can take a bath in my room and I'll wash you.
Now get the camera ready.
Now get the camera ready.
Now he won't come back no matter how much you pay.
Now he won't come back no matter how much you pay.
Now just a minute here!
Now just a minute here!
Now tell me something. Are you brown all over?
Now tell me something. Are you brown all over?
Now turn out the light. Let's get out of here.
Now turn out the light. Let's get out of here.
Now why don't you get a job? And don't touch me.
Now why don't you get a job? And don't touch me.
Now, Eric, our stomachs digest our food a lot better...
Now, Eric, our stomachs digest our food a lot better...
Now, Eric, you get in the tub. And you, out!
Now, Eric, you get in the tub. And you, out!
Now, we can legally protest. We are...
Now, we can legally protest. We are...
Now, what do you want to do first?
Now, what do you want to do first?
Now!
Now!
Of all the things in the store, you wanted a friend?
Of all the things in the store, you wanted a friend?
Off the record?
Off the record?
Oh, come on, Jack!
Oh, come on, Jack!
Oh, God! Has it been a year already?
Oh, God! Has it been a year already?
Oh, I don't know. Play?
Oh, I don't know. Play?
Oh, man, am I tired! Thank God this is over.
Oh, man, am I tired! Thank God this is over.
Oh, my God! He's gonna hit that man!
Oh, my God! He's gonna hit that man!
Oh, she's a legal staff for the local Klanwatch.
Oh, she's a legal staff for the local Klanwatch.
Oh, sugar. I like it like that.
Oh, sugar. I like it like that.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, U.S., it's good to see you.
Oh, U.S., it's good to see you.
Oh. State or federal?
Oh. State or federal?
Okay, duck.
Okay, duck.
Okay, pilgrim.
Okay, pilgrim.
Okay, son. I'll see you.
Okay, son. I'll see you.
Okay! 36, 44, on blue!
Okay! 36, 44, on blue!
Okay? There you go, to the end of the line.
Okay? There you go, to the end of the line.
Okay. Stop, Wonder Wheel!
Okay. Stop, Wonder Wheel!
Old Democrats don't usually support young Liberals.
Old Democrats don't usually support young Liberals.
On six. On three. On two.
On six. On three. On two.
One week with me, one week with you.
One week with me, one week with you.
One, two, one, two... Thank you.
One, two, one, two... Thank you.
One, two, three, that's all! I was robbed! This guy is...
One, two, three, that's all! I was robbed! This guy is...
Open the door, you bastard!
Open the door, you bastard!
Otto's can drive a Cadillac.
Otto's can drive a Cadillac.
Paper. Free paper.
Paper. Free paper.
Patience.
Patience.
Play bingo or something.
Play bingo or something.
Please don't!
Please don't!
Please get some pants on before Mr. Bates sees you, okay?
Please get some pants on before Mr. Bates sees you, okay?
Please hurry.
Please hurry.
Please, Daddy. Please get me Jack back. Please!
Please, Daddy. Please get me Jack back. Please!
Please, open this envelope. Just look at it.
Please, open this envelope. Just look at it.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Plenty of time for that.
Plenty of time for that.
Pointing at me. What's he telling them?
Pointing at me. What's he telling them?
Police department?
Police department?
Power to the people. Right on.
Power to the people. Right on.
Pretend I'm Eric, and I'm home for a week.
Pretend I'm Eric, and I'm home for a week.
Probably a short circuited wire or something.
Probably a short circuited wire or something.
Probably.
Probably.
Propellers? Is that what they were?
Propellers? Is that what they were?
Propellers.
Propellers.
Pure horse meat. Doesn't shrivel in the skillet.
Pure horse meat. Doesn't shrivel in the skillet.
Put some Alpo coupons in. That's good food.
Put some Alpo coupons in. That's good food.
Quit calling me "Scoop."
Quit calling me "Scoop."
Read about how U.S. Bates found his wife one day...
Read about how U.S. Bates found his wife one day...
Register at the desk if you want to take the class.
Register at the desk if you want to take the class.
Report immediately to the office. Repeat, immediately.
Report immediately to the office. Repeat, immediately.
Reporters make people talk, if they're any good.
Reporters make people talk, if they're any good.
Right next to a motel.
Right next to a motel.
Schatzie, get a hammer.
Schatzie, get a hammer.
Scrawny, scared...
Scrawny, scared...
Senator Newcomb.
Senator Newcomb.
Senator, darling.
Senator, darling.
Senator, we agreed to keep this under our hats, remember?
Senator, we agreed to keep this under our hats, remember?
She didn't have to take him down and get him embarrassed.
She didn't have to take him down and get him embarrassed.
She loves to fight. A good fighter.
She loves to fight. A good fighter.
She loves to take on chemical companies. Like that.
She loves to take on chemical companies. Like that.
She was a little bitty thing.
She was a little bitty thing.
She was the newest, the youngest...
She was the newest, the youngest...
She won't help me open my present. She won't give me a hammer.
She won't help me open my present. She won't give me a hammer.
She'd really like you if you'd show her what you're made of.
She'd really like you if you'd show her what you're made of.
She'll look in your face, check out your eyes.
She'll look in your face, check out your eyes.
She's busy. Come back about 3 o'clock.
She's busy. Come back about 3 o'clock.
She's in a loony bin in Colorado Springs.
She's in a loony bin in Colorado Springs.
She's like America.
She's like America.
She's pretty wonderful. Probably what your father would call a pinko.
She's pretty wonderful. Probably what your father would call a pinko.
She's right. You shouldn't bathe with a naked man.
She's right. You shouldn't bathe with a naked man.
She's very litigious.
She's very litigious.
Show her how much money you have.
Show her how much money you have.
Shut up before I let you go.
Shut up before I let you go.
Sir? Sir? Did you read that paper?
Sir? Sir? Did you read that paper?
Sit in Daddy's chair.
Sit in Daddy's chair.
Sit up, Eric.
Sit up, Eric.
Six Flags? Delta Queen? New Orleans?
Six Flags? Delta Queen? New Orleans?
So Daddy bought some piranhas.
So Daddy bought some piranhas.
So get a job and get out, Jack.
So get a job and get out, Jack.
So they arranged to play a game of billiards.
So they arranged to play a game of billiards.
So? You're getting paid.
So? You're getting paid.
Some people exercise their tibias or fibulas...
Some people exercise their tibias or fibulas...
Somebody going to your school?
Somebody going to your school?
Somebody's cow got eaten.
Somebody's cow got eaten.
Sorry to hear that. Try talking to him.
Sorry to hear that. Try talking to him.
Sorry, Mr. Bates.
Sorry, Mr. Bates.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry, sir.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Spoilsport.
Spoilsport.
Stand over here.
Stand over here.
Stanley!
Stanley!
Step in my office.
Step in my office.
Stop being so tough. They don't like that.
Stop being so tough. They don't like that.
Stop making faces. Leave him alone.
Stop making faces. Leave him alone.
Stop the Wonder Wheel!
Stop the Wonder Wheel!
Stop! Don't go out that door!
Stop! Don't go out that door!
Stuff that pollutes the world. And she loves the underdog.
Stuff that pollutes the world. And she loves the underdog.
Swimming, picnicking, leaving their beer cans all over the place.
Swimming, picnicking, leaving their beer cans all over the place.
Take a little picture. And make it good.
Take a little picture. And make it good.
Take a look at the newspaper distributed by Eric and Mr. Brown.
Take a look at the newspaper distributed by Eric and Mr. Brown.
Take a seat.
Take a seat.
Take it easy, Fancy.
Take it easy, Fancy.
Take them in and book them.
Take them in and book them.
Take those firecrackers and... Never mind.
Take those firecrackers and... Never mind.
Take your pants down.
Take your pants down.
Tell her how you really feel. Take a chance.
Tell her how you really feel. Take a chance.
Tell her you're from the Bates Millionaire Club.
Tell her you're from the Bates Millionaire Club.
Ten thousand dollars!
Ten thousand dollars!
Thank you for coming. My secretary will give you a parking validation.
Thank you for coming. My secretary will give you a parking validation.
Thank you, Jack. Thank you.
Thank you, Jack. Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Bates.
Thank you, Mr. Bates.
Thank you, my lords.
Thank you, my lords.
Thank you. That's more than the floor is.
Thank you. That's more than the floor is.
That dirty sucker!
That dirty sucker!
That has no significance here. Understand?
That has no significance here. Understand?
That her full name?
That her full name?
That was my dinner? That was my dinner, Shirley Temple.
That was my dinner? That was my dinner, Shirley Temple.
That'll surprise a lot of your voters.
That'll surprise a lot of your voters.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
That's about the only thing he does understand.
That's about the only thing he does understand.
That's all right, Roberts. Oh, Mr. Brown!
That's all right, Roberts. Oh, Mr. Brown!
That's an ashtray.
That's an ashtray.
That's highway robbery.
That's highway robbery.
That's it!
That's it!
That's me. What do you want?
That's me. What do you want?
That's not an ashtray, you asshole.
That's not an ashtray, you asshole.
That's reality.
That's reality.
That's the hard part.
That's the hard part.
That's U.S., not "you ass."
That's U.S., not "you ass."
That's very good. You're what we call "overqualified."
That's very good. You're what we call "overqualified."
That's what I've done to myself. I sold out to Morehouse, you know?
That's what I've done to myself. I sold out to Morehouse, you know?
The air hockey game. Come on.
The air hockey game. Come on.
The auction is tomorrow!
The auction is tomorrow!
The best...
The best...
The Bugle. They aren't hiring any blacks.
The Bugle. They aren't hiring any blacks.
The first week, a cow went in there. All gone.
The first week, a cow went in there. All gone.
The Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
The Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
The hard part is loving somebody with your heart.
The hard part is loving somebody with your heart.
The house belongs to the bank...
The house belongs to the bank...
The Klan really thanks you.
The Klan really thanks you.
The last one in is a rotten egg.
The last one in is a rotten egg.
The next phase is the press.
The next phase is the press.
The only black people you hire do windows, mop floors...
The only black people you hire do windows, mop floors...
The place was called the Fly By Nite. The motif was airplanes.
The place was called the Fly By Nite. The motif was airplanes.
The question is, what the hell you doing here?
The question is, what the hell you doing here?
The storm is moving southwest...
The storm is moving southwest...
The Toy. Oh, man. All right!
The Toy. Oh, man. All right!
The U.S. Bates' house? Clifford, hold it down.
The U.S. Bates' house? Clifford, hold it down.
The word I get is that they're going to indict you.
The word I get is that they're going to indict you.
There are five, six puppies.
There are five, six puppies.
There isn't any job on the paper.
There isn't any job on the paper.
There you go. Good boy.
There you go. Good boy.
There's a job at Haley's Car Wash.
There's a job at Haley's Car Wash.
There's a lot. I got two dogs.
There's a lot. I got two dogs.
There's no reason for you to go back to camp.
There's no reason for you to go back to camp.
There's nothing here. No piranhas!
There's nothing here. No piranhas!
There's only boys in my school, dummy.
There's only boys in my school, dummy.
There's parking people out front, and they'll laugh.
There's parking people out front, and they'll laugh.
There's six seconds or we don't win the Super Bowl.
There's six seconds or we don't win the Super Bowl.
These old things?
These old things?
They gave you the mortgage.
They gave you the mortgage.
They got a new toy to sell called the "Jack Brown."
They got a new toy to sell called the "Jack Brown."
They wouldn't talk to us. They work for your dad.
They wouldn't talk to us. They work for your dad.
They're in the dryer, and they're all wet.
They're in the dryer, and they're all wet.
They're not selling you anymore.
They're not selling you anymore.
They're nuts.
They're nuts.
They've come for the pajamas.
They've come for the pajamas.
This box.
This box.
This got settled in the Civil War. You can't have slaves.
This got settled in the Civil War. You can't have slaves.
This is better than Disneyland. You know that?
This is better than Disneyland. You know that?
This is Eric. Eric, he has agreed.
This is Eric. Eric, he has agreed.
This is great.
This is great.
This is it!
This is it!
This is light. Thank you.
This is light. Thank you.
This is still light.
This is still light.
This is the senator. Photographer!
This is the senator. Photographer!
Ticklish!
Ticklish!
Time is money.
Time is money.
To aggravate you and me, I say.
To aggravate you and me, I say.
To the airport, Mr. Bates?
To the airport, Mr. Bates?
Truth has nothing to do with reality.
Truth has nothing to do with reality.
Truth, justice and the American way do not work for me, okay?
Truth, justice and the American way do not work for me, okay?
Two five is excellent.
Two five is excellent.
Two more months, my pension would've taken care of my kids.
Two more months, my pension would've taken care of my kids.
U.S. Came through that door...
U.S. Came through that door...
Up yours, you mother!
Up yours, you mother!
Use his camera. He has a photocopier in his room.
Use his camera. He has a photocopier in his room.
Very pleased to meet you.
Very pleased to meet you.
Very sweaty hands.
Very sweaty hands.
Wait a minute. Let's not be too hasty.
Wait a minute. Let's not be too hasty.
Wait a minute. Those aren't my friends. Is there a problem?
Wait a minute. Those aren't my friends. Is there a problem?
Want to keep an eye on this for me?
Want to keep an eye on this for me?
Watch it, watch it, watch it! Tricker! One year. That's one.
Watch it, watch it, watch it! Tricker! One year. That's one.
Watch the cars.
Watch the cars.
Way to go, Jack! All right!
Way to go, Jack! All right!
We agreed to keep that under our hat, remember?
We agreed to keep that under our hat, remember?
We could interview Fancy, Barkley and everybody.
We could interview Fancy, Barkley and everybody.
We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips.
We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips.
We gotta go.
We gotta go.
We gotta win this one.
We gotta win this one.
We had a deal.
We had a deal.
We have stupid parties with them all the time.
We have stupid parties with them all the time.
We just want to rent you for a little while.
We just want to rent you for a little while.
We met at the Bates' party. I want to talk to you a bit.
We met at the Bates' party. I want to talk to you a bit.
We really could put out a paper every week.
We really could put out a paper every week.
We used to have all the hoi polloi from town in this stream.
We used to have all the hoi polloi from town in this stream.
We were about to make love. You can join in.
We were about to make love. You can join in.
We'll go to London, Paris, Rome.
We'll go to London, Paris, Rome.
We'll make even more tomorrow and sell them...
We'll make even more tomorrow and sell them...
We're not doing a newspaper, remember?
We're not doing a newspaper, remember?
We're not getting back in the bus.
We're not getting back in the bus.
We've got four more days. What'll we do?
We've got four more days. What'll we do?
Welcome home!
Welcome home!
Well played. Congratulations.
Well played. Congratulations.
Well, '79, it must have been.
Well, '79, it must have been.
Well, Bates came over again and he won me.
Well, Bates came over again and he won me.
Well, do you ever tell her, "I love you with all my heart"?
Well, do you ever tell her, "I love you with all my heart"?
Well, Eric...
Well, Eric...
Well, I'm just gonna take a shower, U.S.
Well, I'm just gonna take a shower, U.S.
Well, U.S. Was on his way home from Colorado, visiting Numero Two.
Well, U.S. Was on his way home from Colorado, visiting Numero Two.
Well, we need a press. It's the only press in town, isn't it?
Well, we need a press. It's the only press in town, isn't it?
Well, were you?
Well, were you?
Well, where are you? At U.S. Bates' house?
Well, where are you? At U.S. Bates' house?
Well, you know, go to bed... Make it.
Well, you know, go to bed... Make it.
Were you bad? What you were gave a new meaning to the word "bad."
Were you bad? What you were gave a new meaning to the word "bad."
Were you ever a thief?
Were you ever a thief?
What are you doing here, you asshole?
What are you doing here, you asshole?
What are you doing in there?
What are you doing in there?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing? Somebody could get hurt.
What are you doing? Somebody could get hurt.
What are you gonna say? "Hey, God! Life's unfair."
What are you gonna say? "Hey, God! Life's unfair."
What did you turn the light on for?
What did you turn the light on for?
What did your boobs look like before?
What did your boobs look like before?
What do I have to do with him? Take him to Six Flags?
What do I have to do with him? Take him to Six Flags?
What do you do with your...
What do you do with your...
What do you do...
What do you do...
What do you think, Mr. O'Brien?
What do you think, Mr. O'Brien?
What I have to tell you is important!
What I have to tell you is important!
What I was doing in Colorado is irrelevant.
What I was doing in Colorado is irrelevant.
What is he saying?
What is he saying?
What is this dog thing? Nobody wants...
What is this dog thing? Nobody wants...
What morning crew?
What morning crew?
What people will do for money.
What people will do for money.
What sort of a position are you looking for?
What sort of a position are you looking for?
What the hell is that?
What the hell is that?
What the hell is this?
What the hell is this?
What the...!
What the...!
What you're offering me isn't a job. It's an insult.
What you're offering me isn't a job. It's an insult.
What, is he sick? Nuts, right? What are we talking about?
What, is he sick? Nuts, right? What are we talking about?
What?
What?
What? Animals mate.
What? Animals mate.
What? I can't hear you, Mr. Bates.
What? I can't hear you, Mr. Bates.
What's Angela like?
What's Angela like?
What's going on in here?
What's going on in here?
What's going on? What do you mean?
What's going on? What do you mean?
What's going on? Where you going?
What's going on? Where you going?
What's her name?
What's her name?
What's she like?
What's she like?
What's so dangerous about...
What's so dangerous about...
What's the matter? I'm in the back.
What's the matter? I'm in the back.
What's wrong?
What's wrong?
What's wrong? Are you okay?
What's wrong? Are you okay?
What's wrong? What happened? Are you disappointed...
What's wrong? What happened? Are you disappointed...
What's wrong? Why the hell did you pick me?
What's wrong? Why the hell did you pick me?
When you grow up, you'll control South Central Louisiana.
When you grow up, you'll control South Central Louisiana.
When you were in England, sir.
When you were in England, sir.
Whenever I drill an oil well, buy a cable system...
Whenever I drill an oil well, buy a cable system...
Where would you like it? Near the window?
Where would you like it? Near the window?
Who do they think they are?
Who do they think they are?
Who put that in?
Who put that in?
Who we gonna tell, God?
Who we gonna tell, God?
Why are you so happy about it?
Why are you so happy about it?
Why are you upsetting Angela, telling her you're selling my house?
Why are you upsetting Angela, telling her you're selling my house?
Why don't you call her?
Why don't you call her?
Why don't you sit down? You don't want this job.
Why don't you sit down? You don't want this job.
Why won't anybody tell me?
Why won't anybody tell me?
Why, sure! Let me get fixed.
Why, sure! Let me get fixed.
Why, you nitwit!
Why, you nitwit!
Why? Does it mean anything to you that I don't want to stay?
Why? Does it mean anything to you that I don't want to stay?
Why? I don't want to be in the picture.
Why? I don't want to be in the picture.
Why...
Why...
With some kind of metal things on the front.
With some kind of metal things on the front.
Women like it when you're sincere. They respond too.
Women like it when you're sincere. They respond too.
Wonder Wheel, no. Wonder Wheel...
Wonder Wheel, no. Wonder Wheel...
Wonder Wheel! Stop! I admit it, it works!
Wonder Wheel! Stop! I admit it, it works!
Wonder Wheel.
Wonder Wheel.
Wonder Wheel.
Wonder Wheel.
Wonderful. Splendid.
Wonderful. Splendid.
Worse.
Worse.
Worse.
Worse.
Would you have me stay or go?
Would you have me stay or go?
Would you like to come see my train, friend?
Would you like to come see my train, friend?
Wrap him up.
Wrap him up.
Wrap who up? I don't get wrapped.
Wrap who up? I don't get wrapped.
Writing a book is a cop out, Jack. Now get a job.
Writing a book is a cop out, Jack. Now get a job.
Yeah, and you can take pictures.
Yeah, and you can take pictures.
Yeah, but the guys at school say...
Yeah, but the guys at school say...
Yeah, but... I love her with my heart.
Yeah, but... I love her with my heart.
Yeah, I talk to him. But he won't talk to me.
Yeah, I talk to him. But he won't talk to me.
Yeah, it'll irk him.
Yeah, it'll irk him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. No. Instruments? No.
Yeah. No. Instruments? No.
Yeah. She goes to St. Mary's.
Yeah. She goes to St. Mary's.
Yes, darling. You're a writer. A very good writer.
Yes, darling. You're a writer. A very good writer.
Yes, it's his fault.
Yes, it's his fault.
Yes, Mr. Morehouse. Jack, we're gonna buy a house!
Yes, Mr. Morehouse. Jack, we're gonna buy a house!
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!
Yes, the laundry room. Why don't you just follow me?
Yes, the laundry room. Why don't you just follow me?
Yes, this is his breakfast.
Yes, this is his breakfast.
You acted like money was important.
You acted like money was important.
You can make them talk.
You can make them talk.
You can spread it on bread.
You can spread it on bread.
You can talk dirty, if you like. I'll jump on top of you.
You can talk dirty, if you like. I'll jump on top of you.
You can't arrest me. My name is...
You can't arrest me. My name is...
You can't deal with me. I was very good.
You can't deal with me. I was very good.
You can't... I can't be bought.
You can't... I can't be bought.
You didn't ask me what I'd settle for.
You didn't ask me what I'd settle for.
You didn't ask.
You didn't ask.
You didn't believe me, right?
You didn't believe me, right?
You didn't know that?
You didn't know that?
You dirty son of a bitch!
You dirty son of a bitch!
You don't dump stuff on their head.
You don't dump stuff on their head.
You don't know anything about running a newspaper.
You don't know anything about running a newspaper.
You don't order your friends around.
You don't order your friends around.
You don't throw their food on the floor.
You don't throw their food on the floor.
You earn a friend. You know, with love and trust.
You earn a friend. You know, with love and trust.
You go up to her, very gently. Take her by the hand...
You go up to her, very gently. Take her by the hand...
You gonna deal with what happened? Your wife embarrassed me!
You gonna deal with what happened? Your wife embarrassed me!
You gonna jump her bones? Are you gonna jump her bones?
You gonna jump her bones? Are you gonna jump her bones?
You got a Kodak you haven't taken out of the box.
You got a Kodak you haven't taken out of the box.
You got that, Scoop?
You got that, Scoop?
You gotta spend some quiet time at the hospital.
You gotta spend some quiet time at the hospital.
You have to deal with reality.
You have to deal with reality.
You haven't even been to the zoo.
You haven't even been to the zoo.
You kinky little devil, you!
You kinky little devil, you!
You know what he's gonna say? "Tough titty."
You know what he's gonna say? "Tough titty."
You know what I like about this outfit, Mr. Morehouse?
You know what I like about this outfit, Mr. Morehouse?
You know who you're taking a photo with?
You know who you're taking a photo with?
You know, I don't believe you know how to tell a story.
You know, I don't believe you know how to tell a story.
You know, I have a new helicopter.
You know, I have a new helicopter.
You know, if you were a little less hysterical...
You know, if you were a little less hysterical...
You know, that kid loves you.
You know, that kid loves you.
You know, the morning crew comes in at 8.
You know, the morning crew comes in at 8.
You know, we could tell. We could get even.
You know, we could tell. We could get even.
You know...
You know...
You look like an Eskimo Pie. No, I've got it. Al Jolson.
You look like an Eskimo Pie. No, I've got it. Al Jolson.
You love a friend, you know? You earn a friend.
You love a friend, you know? You earn a friend.
You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.
You made me laugh. I wanted a friend who made me laugh.
You mean, physically?
You mean, physically?
You never cease to amaze me.
You never cease to amaze me.
You never even touched water.
You never even touched water.
You put it across the top. Big headline.
You put it across the top. Big headline.
You ready?
You ready?
You ready? I'm gonna win, right?
You ready? I'm gonna win, right?
You remember my pal and fellow Klan member, Clancy.
You remember my pal and fellow Klan member, Clancy.
You said anything in the store. Well, he was in the store.
You said anything in the store. Well, he was in the store.
You said I could have anything.
You said I could have anything.
You saved my life. So I guess I owe you one.
You saved my life. So I guess I owe you one.
You see, I noticed...
You see, I noticed...
You see, we're part of Mr. Bates' family here.
You see, we're part of Mr. Bates' family here.
You show them, Jack!
You show them, Jack!
You sure? Listen to me, you're something else, man.
You sure? Listen to me, you're something else, man.
You think that's funny? What do you think of this?
You think that's funny? What do you think of this?
You told me you were good. I believe you...
You told me you were good. I believe you...
You wanna use your father's press to print our newspaper?
You wanna use your father's press to print our newspaper?
You want me to starve to death?
You want me to starve to death?
You want to be ready, right?
You want to be ready, right?
You want to get off here?
You want to get off here?
You want to live to be 10? Do you?
You want to live to be 10? Do you?
You, your father and me gotta be the strangest people on earth.
You, your father and me gotta be the strangest people on earth.
You'd better be right. Let's get back in the van.
You'd better be right. Let's get back in the van.
You'd have to come in two days, on Tuesdays and Fridays...
You'd have to come in two days, on Tuesdays and Fridays...
You'll get yours.
You'll get yours.
You'll give a decent burial to Wonder Wheel?
You'll give a decent burial to Wonder Wheel?
You'll have to practice on someone else.
You'll have to practice on someone else.
You'll learn the hard way, laddie.
You'll learn the hard way, laddie.
You're a better person than that. Give the man a break.
You're a better person than that. Give the man a break.
You're doing it by yourself, champ.
You're doing it by yourself, champ.
You're fired!
You're fired!
You're gonna quit because I was winning? You hate to lose?
You're gonna quit because I was winning? You hate to lose?
You're hopelessly locked in. You can't avert it.
You're hopelessly locked in. You can't avert it.
You're in for it.
You're in for it.
You're lucky it's not a cat.
You're lucky it's not a cat.
You're made of a lot, you know.
You're made of a lot, you know.
You're Mr. Brown's...
You're Mr. Brown's...
You're not a reporter. You're a crook.
You're not a reporter. You're a crook.
You're not going to get it.
You're not going to get it.
You're not going to sell it, right?
You're not going to sell it, right?
You're not starting a sit in, are you?
You're not starting a sit in, are you?
You're nuts, but I love you.
You're nuts, but I love you.
You're the one who doesn't know how to tell a story.
You're the one who doesn't know how to tell a story.
You're up early this morning. Or didn't you go to bed last night?
You're up early this morning. Or didn't you go to bed last night?
You're very strong for a little lady.
You're very strong for a little lady.
You've got the key? Why didn't you tell me?
You've got the key? Why didn't you tell me?
Your bourbon, my lords.
Your bourbon, my lords.
Your dinner.
Your dinner.
Your father is very strange. Now take the picture.
Your father is very strange. Now take the picture.
Your father said...
Your father said...
Your hand?
Your hand?
Your head's in this American dream, but it doesn't work for me.
Your head's in this American dream, but it doesn't work for me.
Your son came along and asked them...
Your son came along and asked them...
Your son loves you. You gotta hug him.
Your son loves you. You gotta hug him.
$10,000. Ten...
$10,000. Ten...
$2500 a week! Get off the phone!
$2500 a week! Get off the phone!
$2500 for a couple of hours? Sure. Why not?
$2500 for a couple of hours? Sure. Why not?
$3000. I wonder if Eric knows...
$3000. I wonder if Eric knows...
$400. For babysitting?
$400. For babysitting?
A jail? Yes!
A jail? Yes!
All you waiting on the job? Yeah. Get your bicycle.
All you waiting on the job? Yeah. Get your bicycle.
Are you crazy? Yes, but trust me.
Are you crazy? Yes, but trust me.
Are you serious? No kidding around? No.
Are you serious? No kidding around? No.
Ask me how much I'm making. Get off the phone.
Ask me how much I'm making. Get off the phone.
At the Bugle. So what?
At the Bugle. So what?
Before the end of spring vacation? Tonight.
Before the end of spring vacation? Tonight.
Boring. Boring?
Boring. Boring?
But it's the truth. The truth?
But it's the truth. The truth?
But this is my week. I knew you wouldn't let me.
But this is my week. I knew you wouldn't let me.
But why? To play with, he says.
But why? To play with, he says.
Bye. Bye bye, Eric.
Bye. Bye bye, Eric.
Can I have some air? Who are you?
Can I have some air? Who are you?
Can't you go faster? I'm hurrying.
Can't you go faster? I'm hurrying.
Clean this up. Yes, thank you.
Clean this up. Yes, thank you.
Cleaning lady get fired? Start Monday, in the newsroom.
Cleaning lady get fired? Start Monday, in the newsroom.
Come back. The game's not over. I'm not playing.
Come back. The game's not over. I'm not playing.
Come on now. The water's ready. No!
Come on now. The water's ready. No!
Come on, I just... Come on, Scoop. Hey, wait!
Come on, I just... Come on, Scoop. Hey, wait!
Come on. "Come on."
Come on. "Come on."
Could you fix me a cheeseburger? What's going on?
Could you fix me a cheeseburger? What's going on?
Daddy? It's just for your son, sir.
Daddy? It's just for your son, sir.
Don't move that over here. Why not?
Don't move that over here. Why not?
Eric is responsible for this? And Jack Brown, sir.
Eric is responsible for this? And Jack Brown, sir.
Evening. Evening. Have a nice evening.
Evening. Evening. Have a nice evening.
Everyone knows it's true. They're lies if I say so.
Everyone knows it's true. They're lies if I say so.
Fancy, you look so good tonight. Hi, sugar pie!
Fancy, you look so good tonight. Hi, sugar pie!
Fancy. Wait until I'm done, U.S.
Fancy. Wait until I'm done, U.S.
Finish your dinner. Get me a hammer.
Finish your dinner. Get me a hammer.
For every goal? Okay. That's one year!
For every goal? Okay. That's one year!
For the week? Sure.
For the week? Sure.
Foul! Foul! Foul! What game?
Foul! Foul! Foul! What game?
Get off the phone! Just ask me.
Get off the phone! Just ask me.
Go for the tents! I'll get the other side!
Go for the tents! I'll get the other side!
Good choice. You'll have a wonderful time.
Good choice. You'll have a wonderful time.
Got a license to drive on the steps? I don't need one. I'm Eric Bates.
Got a license to drive on the steps? I don't need one. I'm Eric Bates.
Grab him. Probably on drugs. Bet he got out of prison.
Grab him. Probably on drugs. Bet he got out of prison.
Hang on, wizard! Let's go to Oz. Let me off!
Hang on, wizard! Let's go to Oz. Let me off!
He might be armed and dangerous! n****!
He might be armed and dangerous! n****!
He only has the kid for a week. $10,000?
He only has the kid for a week. $10,000?
He wants you to stay. He wants to see if you can make me.
He wants you to stay. He wants to see if you can make me.
He'd like to take you home with him. Why?
He'd like to take you home with him. Why?
He's bright. I see the resemblance.
He's bright. I see the resemblance.
He's gonna auction off the house. My parents gave it to me.
He's gonna auction off the house. My parents gave it to me.
He's just wonderful. You're paid to play, not to talk.
He's just wonderful. You're paid to play, not to talk.
Here they come again! Do your thing, Jack!
Here they come again! Do your thing, Jack!
Hey! Watch my car! He's high on marijuana, I bet!
Hey! Watch my car! He's high on marijuana, I bet!
Hi, foxy lady. Thank you very much.
Hi, foxy lady. Thank you very much.
Hold the noise down. Who the hell was that?
Hold the noise down. Who the hell was that?
How are you, U. S? Pretty good.
How are you, U. S? Pretty good.
How you doing? Hi, baby.
How you doing? Hi, baby.
Hug me and say, "I love you." I love you.
Hug me and say, "I love you." I love you.
I am a writer, right? He is.
I am a writer, right? He is.
I can't? In your pajamas?
I can't? In your pajamas?
I didn't hear anything. What's going on?
I didn't hear anything. What's going on?
I don't care. Get in! You don't...
I don't care. Get in! You don't...
I got it. Not you. We need a part time woman.
I got it. Not you. We need a part time woman.
I hate liver. I only understand German.
I hate liver. I only understand German.
I have a job for you. You mind? Not at all.
I have a job for you. You mind? Not at all.
I have to? Well, if you value your job.
I have to? Well, if you value your job.
I know what I want. He likes it.
I know what I want. He likes it.
I love him. Frankly, I don't give a damn.
I love him. Frankly, I don't give a damn.
I love you, Jack. I love you too, Eric.
I love you, Jack. I love you too, Eric.
I mean, come here. No way.
I mean, come here. No way.
I mind. I don't want him to get angry here.
I mind. I don't want him to get angry here.
I need something that fits. I bought some for Barkley.
I need something that fits. I bought some for Barkley.
I really don't care. He's one of our cleaning people.
I really don't care. He's one of our cleaning people.
I wanna stay with you. No!
I wanna stay with you. No!
I want him. He's not for sale.
I want him. He's not for sale.
I want my clothes. Mr. Brown. Now sit down for a minute.
I want my clothes. Mr. Brown. Now sit down for a minute.
I was employed by an English lord. Lord who, sir?
I was employed by an English lord. Lord who, sir?
I was wrong! Was I bad?
I was wrong! Was I bad?
I wasn't aware that we sold them. I wanted you to know...
I wasn't aware that we sold them. I wanted you to know...
I wasn't ready. So? I make the rules!
I wasn't ready. So? I make the rules!
I will draw a bath for you. Get it ready!
I will draw a bath for you. Get it ready!
I'll kill you! Two five is fine.
I'll kill you! Two five is fine.
I'll pay you on an hourly basis. Sir.
I'll pay you on an hourly basis. Sir.
I'll see you in 10 years. 10 years? Who needs it then?
I'll see you in 10 years. 10 years? Who needs it then?
I'll take care of it. This is Eric. Nice to meet you.
I'll take care of it. This is Eric. Nice to meet you.
I'll take it. Is it that bad out there?
I'll take it. Is it that bad out there?
I'm embarrassed! That wasn't remotely amusing.
I'm embarrassed! That wasn't remotely amusing.
I'm not kidding! "I want my clothes! I'm not kidding!"
I'm not kidding! "I want my clothes! I'm not kidding!"
I'm trying to help. You're not.
I'm trying to help. You're not.
I'm U.S. Bates' son! You got a jail around here?
I'm U.S. Bates' son! You got a jail around here?
I'm U.S. Bates' toy. I'm not stoned. Let's play. Get off the phone!
I'm U.S. Bates' toy. I'm not stoned. Let's play. Get off the phone!
I'm working for U.S. Bates. "I'm working for U.S. Bates."
I'm working for U.S. Bates. "I'm working for U.S. Bates."
I've got some friends. Wait!
I've got some friends. Wait!
I've got to talk to you. But I'm busy.
I've got to talk to you. But I'm busy.
It took me over a month to set it up. A month? Wow!
It took me over a month to set it up. A month? Wow!
It's great. Look at all... Don't touch!
It's great. Look at all... Don't touch!
It's none of your damn business. What's it like?
It's none of your damn business. What's it like?
It's the senator! Senator Newcomb. Congratulations!
It's the senator! Senator Newcomb. Congratulations!
It's your son. Excuse me.
It's your son. Excuse me.
Jack, look out! I'll give you an Eskimo Pie!
Jack, look out! I'll give you an Eskimo Pie!
Jack! What?
Jack! What?
Jack. How about a one on one, little man?
Jack. How about a one on one, little man?
Jack. Let me have it.
Jack. Let me have it.
Jesus! Aren't we full of surprises?
Jesus! Aren't we full of surprises?
Just a minute. How old are you? Nine.
Just a minute. How old are you? Nine.
Know what's on that floor? No.
Know what's on that floor? No.
Let me see your straight. A pair of sevens.
Let me see your straight. A pair of sevens.
Let's blow it up right away. The black man.
Let's blow it up right away. The black man.
Let's do something interesting. Watch this.
Let's do something interesting. Watch this.
Let's get him! Holy shit!
Let's get him! Holy shit!
Let's get them again! Let's go back for another try.
Let's get them again! Let's go back for another try.
Let's go play a game. "Let's go play a game."
Let's go play a game. "Let's go play a game."
Let's talk. What are you doing here?
Let's talk. What are you doing here?
Lf you're paid enough, you'll stay. That's not the question.
Lf you're paid enough, you'll stay. That's not the question.
Look out! You can't get away!
Look out! You can't get away!
Maybe they'd fit you. Maybe.
Maybe they'd fit you. Maybe.
Meet you later. My room is the second door...
Meet you later. My room is the second door...
Megan. Megan. You like her?
Megan. Megan. You like her?
Morning. Good morning.
Morning. Good morning.
Move it! I'll get you!
Move it! I'll get you!
Mr. U.S., phone. No calls. Time is money.
Mr. U.S., phone. No calls. Time is money.
My fault, sir. No, my fault.
My fault, sir. No, my fault.
My lady. Put this on.
My lady. Put this on.
My little dove, it's bath time. I'm busy.
My little dove, it's bath time. I'm busy.
No, gotta make a plate. Is there anything you don't know?
No, gotta make a plate. Is there anything you don't know?
No! No! Put me down!
No! No! Put me down!
No. Jack. Oh, no! I'll tell your father!
No. Jack. Oh, no! I'll tell your father!
Not for you. It's a free country.
Not for you. It's a free country.
Not remotely amusing. You're marking my arm, sugar.
Not remotely amusing. You're marking my arm, sugar.
Not until you eat. Get me a hammer.
Not until you eat. Get me a hammer.
Now! This minute! Not without my toy.
Now! This minute! Not without my toy.
Oh, my God! Do my back.
Oh, my God! Do my back.
On the left. I'm Eric Bates! Put me down!
On the left. I'm Eric Bates! Put me down!
Ones that owe you and ones you owe. I've heard enough about Jack.
Ones that owe you and ones you owe. I've heard enough about Jack.
Or something we don't even sell. We sell everything.
Or something we don't even sell. We sell everything.
Piranhas are South American. I'm not going in there.
Piranhas are South American. I'm not going in there.
Play with me! He's wonderful.
Play with me! He's wonderful.
Please, Mr. Brown! No.
Please, Mr. Brown! No.
Police! Hands up! Let's get out of here!
Police! Hands up! Let's get out of here!
Put it on my dad's bill. Okay, kid.
Put it on my dad's bill. Okay, kid.
Put that pie down! I didn't throw the first pie.
Put that pie down! I didn't throw the first pie.
Race you up to the top of the hill. Okay.
Race you up to the top of the hill. Okay.
Ready for what? Black experience.
Ready for what? Black experience.
Remember me? I'm fired, right?
Remember me? I'm fired, right?
Right, Jack? Yeah, we were just playing a game.
Right, Jack? Yeah, we were just playing a game.
Say goodbye! Come on! He's a wonderful...
Say goodbye! Come on! He's a wonderful...
Say it louder. I love you!
Say it louder. I love you!
See you, Eric. Thanks very much. You're welcome.
See you, Eric. Thanks very much. You're welcome.
Senator... Later, Bates.
Senator... Later, Bates.
She sues people? Like in court.
She sues people? Like in court.
Should we do something? What else can go wrong?
Should we do something? What else can go wrong?
Shut up! What?
Shut up! What?
Slave sound too crass? I'm serious.
Slave sound too crass? I'm serious.
So what? He has very sweaty hands.
So what? He has very sweaty hands.
Son of a... You can't leave!
Son of a... You can't leave!
Sorry. Sir.
Sorry. Sir.
Take it easy. See you later!
Take it easy. See you later!
Take this. What can I get?
Take this. What can I get?
Tell you what. Shave. Shave?
Tell you what. Shave. Shave?
Thanks, pal. Take it easy. So long.
Thanks, pal. Take it easy. So long.
That was fun. Please. I have a headache.
That was fun. Please. I have a headache.
That's Fancy Bates. His daughter?
That's Fancy Bates. His daughter?
That's it! That is great!
That's it! That is great!
That's it! That's it!
That's it! That's it!
That's me. Miss Jackie Brown.
That's me. Miss Jackie Brown.
That's my tomato salad. I'm sorry.
That's my tomato salad. I'm sorry.
That's not the way out. Go get him, Daddy.
That's not the way out. Go get him, Daddy.
That's one trick you won't manage. You wanna bet?
That's one trick you won't manage. You wanna bet?
That's one year. You cheat!
That's one year. You cheat!
That's what I meant. Let's start at 1000 and work up.
That's what I meant. Let's start at 1000 and work up.
The black man! He wants the black man.
The black man! He wants the black man.
The kid needs a shrink. I agree with you.
The kid needs a shrink. I agree with you.
There's a black man in this house? It's only for a week.
There's a black man in this house? It's only for a week.
There's a party about to happen. Thank you.
There's a party about to happen. Thank you.
They're raising money for the KKK. Lf you ever loved me, trust me.
They're raising money for the KKK. Lf you ever loved me, trust me.
This is fun, Jack. Fun?
This is fun, Jack. Fun?
This is it! Put me down!
This is it! Put me down!
Tim, Toys. Jack, Windows.
Tim, Toys. Jack, Windows.
Two five. Fine, but for that kind of money...
Two five. Fine, but for that kind of money...
Two seven. Two five is my top.
Two seven. Two five is my top.
Two years. I wasn't ready.
Two years. I wasn't ready.
Wait. What's your name? Jack Brown.
Wait. What's your name? Jack Brown.
Want to take a nap? Yes.
Want to take a nap? Yes.
We gotta talk. U.S., can't you take a joke?
We gotta talk. U.S., can't you take a joke?
We wouldn't want that, would we? Pardon me.
We wouldn't want that, would we? Pardon me.
Well, here they are now. Hi, U.S. How are you?
Well, here they are now. Hi, U.S. How are you?
Well, Rasputin, what's next? I want to go back to school.
Well, Rasputin, what's next? I want to go back to school.
What am I supposed to do? How do you turn off this machine?
What am I supposed to do? How do you turn off this machine?
What are you doing? Wow, this is... Are you kidding me?
What are you doing? Wow, this is... Are you kidding me?
What did he say? What a great man.
What did he say? What a great man.
What do you think we're in line for? The bus.
What do you think we're in line for? The bus.
What if I don't want to be? You can't do much about it.
What if I don't want to be? You can't do much about it.
What if I tell your dad? He doesn't care.
What if I tell your dad? He doesn't care.
What is your hourly rate? I don't have...
What is your hourly rate? I don't have...
What the hell is that? Help!
What the hell is that? Help!
What'll we call it? Paste this down there.
What'll we call it? Paste this down there.
What's going on? It's my fault.
What's going on? It's my fault.
What's Money Bucks gonna think? I can deal with my daddy.
What's Money Bucks gonna think? I can deal with my daddy.
Where you going? Clifford, I'm here for a job.
Where you going? Clifford, I'm here for a job.
Where you going? Home.
Where you going? Home.
Who's that? Angela. Jesus H. Christ!
Who's that? Angela. Jesus H. Christ!
Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.
Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.
Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.
Why did you stick up for me? I want you to stay.
Why did you stop? My dominoes just went down.
Why did you stop? My dominoes just went down.
Why not? Because he's a person.
Why not? Because he's a person.
Why? Are you that dumb, kid?
Why? Are you that dumb, kid?
Wife numero three. You think she is ready?
Wife numero three. You think she is ready?
Would you stop about the book? Angela, you know I'm a writer.
Would you stop about the book? Angela, you know I'm a writer.
Yes, there is. You're in big trouble.
Yes, there is. You're in big trouble.
Yes, well, bye bye. Bye bye, sir.
Yes, well, bye bye. Bye bye, sir.
Yes, you two. Okay.
Yes, you two. Okay.
Yes. He's not a toy.
Yes. He's not a toy.
Yes. That's my friend.
Yes. That's my friend.
You can get lost, Clifford. I like that. Get lost.
You can get lost, Clifford. I like that. Get lost.
You can't buy a human, Eric. Why not?
You can't buy a human, Eric. Why not?
You can't talk. He's clean!
You can't talk. He's clean!
You could've come to Houston with me. As your toy?
You could've come to Houston with me. As your toy?
You give me your word? Absolutely. Off the record.
You give me your word? Absolutely. Off the record.
You guys are serious! No jive.
You guys are serious! No jive.
You know it's mine. We haven't paid in six months.
You know it's mine. We haven't paid in six months.
You know that job I offered you? On the newspaper?
You know that job I offered you? On the newspaper?
You look good enough to eat. Say, what is all this?
You look good enough to eat. Say, what is all this?
You remember Terry Gay? My secretary. I sure do!
You remember Terry Gay? My secretary. I sure do!
You trying to kill the kid? No! I'm trying to kill you.
You trying to kill the kid? No! I'm trying to kill you.
You want me to go with him? Lf you wouldn't mind.
You want me to go with him? Lf you wouldn't mind.
You want to talk to me? I don't know if you remember me.
You want to talk to me? I don't know if you remember me.
You won't be sorry, U.S. "You ass." You're allowed.
You won't be sorry, U.S. "You ass." You're allowed.
You, come with me. You can't pay me enough money!
You, come with me. You can't pay me enough money!
You'll like him. I'm crazy about him.
You'll like him. I'm crazy about him.
You're fired. Are the FCC, IRS, or FBI after you?
You're fired. Are the FCC, IRS, or FBI after you?
You're not gonna win. Lf you win, you can go home with pay.
You're not gonna win. Lf you win, you can go home with pay.
You're okay, "us." I'm okay, me too.
You're okay, "us." I'm okay, me too.
Your old lady won't mind. My old lady? No.
Your old lady won't mind. My old lady? No.
...about the wonderful job you've done with U.S.'s son.
...about the wonderful job you've done with U.S.'s son.
...all you gotta do is look at me.
...all you gotta do is look at me.
...and put it into newspaper form.
...and put it into newspaper form.
...and put your arms around him and talk to him?
...and put your arms around him and talk to him?
...and sort of help us with our son, Eugene?
...and sort of help us with our son, Eugene?
...and the worst waitress in the bar.
...and the worst waitress in the bar.
...and you're a journalist.
...and you're a journalist.
...and your honest intentions.
...and your honest intentions.
...because I am reality.
...because I am reality.
...because I had a...
...because I had a...
...difficult morning. You had a difficult morning?
...difficult morning. You had a difficult morning?
...doesn't mean you can run one, does it?
...doesn't mean you can run one, does it?
...gently. You kinda pull her to you and you jump on her bones.
...gently. You kinda pull her to you and you jump on her bones.
...get rid of him.
...get rid of him.
...had a bit of luck and he won a herd of cattle.
...had a bit of luck and he won a herd of cattle.
...he's right.
...he's right.
...head of accounting, go.
...head of accounting, go.
...I am living proof.
...I am living proof.
...I'll give you a ticket for some mouthwash, because you got halitosis.
...I'll give you a ticket for some mouthwash, because you got halitosis.
...if Eric blows his nose, you wipe it.
...if Eric blows his nose, you wipe it.
...if we eat some vegetables, some starch and some meat.
...if we eat some vegetables, some starch and some meat.
...if you don't make it with a girl a week, you'll go nuts.
...if you don't make it with a girl a week, you'll go nuts.
...in my office, now.
...in my office, now.
...it certainly is a pleasure to have you.
...it certainly is a pleasure to have you.
...just playing.
...just playing.
...like the archangel Gabriel.
...like the archangel Gabriel.
...open a store, it's for you.
...open a store, it's for you.
...so there's really no problem... Mr. Bates! Eric!
...so there's really no problem... Mr. Bates! Eric!
...so we're gonna start a newspaper. Let's shove off.
...so we're gonna start a newspaper. Let's shove off.
...so you wouldn't be frightened if you saw him.
...so you wouldn't be frightened if you saw him.
...that I didn't drown?
...that I didn't drown?
...that I either do what he wants or I can look for another job.
...that I either do what he wants or I can look for another job.
...thing?
...thing?
...to serve a staff luncheon.
...to serve a staff luncheon.
...to wrap me up, which they did, in a box.
...to wrap me up, which they did, in a box.
...unless you come up with a quick 10 grand.
...unless you come up with a quick 10 grand.
...wearing some kind of rayon like uniform.
...wearing some kind of rayon like uniform.
...what kind of bastard he's getting.
...what kind of bastard he's getting.
...will say what I want them to say...
...will say what I want them to say...
...wobbling on platform sandals.
...wobbling on platform sandals.
...you put a whoopee cushion under me.
...you put a whoopee cushion under me.
...you won't open that until tomorrow.
...you won't open that until tomorrow.
...you'd suggest I pay you what I pay my reporters for a week.
...you'd suggest I pay you what I pay my reporters for a week.
"Come on, Dad, let's sit down! Come on!"
"Come on, Dad, let's sit down! Come on!"
"Dad, I haven't seen you in a while! I wanna sit on your lap!"
"Dad, I haven't seen you in a while! I wanna sit on your lap!"
"Danger. Do not touch."
"Danger. Do not touch."
"Goodbye! I want my clothes!"
"Goodbye! I want my clothes!"
"Got some for Barkley."
"Got some for Barkley."
"Jack Brown Sold Out Today to U.S. Bates, as Expected."
"Jack Brown Sold Out Today to U.S. Bates, as Expected."
"Mommy, I want a Jack Brown wind up. Suzy's can play basketball.
"Mommy, I want a Jack Brown wind up. Suzy's can play basketball.
"Pops, how you doing? Boy, I had a great time all year."
"Pops, how you doing? Boy, I had a great time all year."
$10,000? For a week or the rest of my life?
$10,000? For a week or the rest of my life?
1500. Deal.
1500. Deal.
2000. Now, wait a minute.
2000. Now, wait a minute.
3000. Two five.
3000. Two five.
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Hentie Sex Ringtones
Hentie Sex Ringtones
Game Show FX Soundboard
Game Show FX Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Big Lez Soundboard
Big Lez Soundboard
Windows 10 Sounds
Windows 10 Sounds
Hank Hill Sounds: King Of The Hill - Season 1
Hank Hill Sounds: King of the Hill - Season 1
⚠️ NSFW
Deadpool Soundboard
Deadpool Soundboard
Michael Jackson Grunts & Emotes
Michael Jackson Grunts & Emotes
Dog Sounds
Dog Sounds
Meme Soundboard 2023 Ultimate Edition
Meme Soundboard 2023 Ultimate Edition
TikTok Soundboard
TikTok Soundboard
Lightsaber Sounds: Star Wars
Lightsaber Sounds: Star Wars
Meme Soundboard 2024 Dank Edition
Meme Soundboard 2024 Dank Edition
Sus Ringtones
Sus Ringtones
TTS Sounds
TTS Sounds
Pokimane Soundboard
Pokimane Soundboard
Your Mom
Your Mom
Barack Obama Sounds
Barack Obama Sounds
Nazi Zombies Sounds: Call Of Duty
Nazi Zombies Sounds: Call of Duty
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi (Baldi Basics Education And Learning) TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi (Baldi Basics Education And Learning) TTS Computer AI Voice
Animals Sound Effects Soundboard
Animals Sound Effects Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat Announcer (Netherealm) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat Announcer (Netherealm) TTS Computer AI Voice
Windows XP Sounds
Windows XP Sounds
Solid Snake Sounds: Metal Gear Solid
Solid Snake Sounds: Metal Gear Solid
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) TTS Computer AI Voice
⚠️ NSFW
Sargent Hartman Soundboard
Sargent Hartman Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Andrew Tate Soundboard
Andrew Tate Soundboard
Corpse Husband Soundboard
Corpse Husband Soundboard
Travis Scott Soundboard
Travis Scott Soundboard
Fe4RLess
Fe4RLess
Starcraft Sounds
Starcraft Sounds
Quandale Dingle Sound Effects
Quandale dingle sound effects
Lamar Davis Sounds: Grand Theft Auto V
Lamar Davis Sounds: Grand Theft Auto V
Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2
Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2
Macho Man Randy Savage Sounds
Macho Man Randy Savage Sounds
Undertale Sound Effects
Undertale Sound Effects
STALKER - Bandit Soundboard
STALKER - Bandit Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Joe Pesci's Soundboard
Joe Pesci's Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Farid Bang Soundboard Soundboard
Farid Bang Soundboard Soundboard
NBA Jam Sounds: On Fire Edition
NBA Jam Sounds: On Fire Edition
GLaDOS Soundboard
GLaDOS Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Dreamybull Soundboard
Dreamybull Soundboard
Sponge Bob Soundboard
Sponge Bob Soundboard
Beavis And Butthead Soundboard
Beavis And Butthead Soundboard
Memes 2020
Memes 2020
The Mandalorian Soundboard
The Mandalorian Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Ear Rape Ringtones
Ear Rape Ringtones
The Simpsons Sounds
The Simpsons Sounds
Mario Sounds: Super Mario 64
Mario Sounds: Super Mario 64
Funny Soundboard
Funny Soundboard
Random Sounds
Random Sounds
Duke Nukem 3D Sounds
Duke Nukem 3D Sounds
Hatsune Miku Ringtones
Hatsune Miku Ringtones
Fortnite Soundboard
Fortnite Soundboard
Flappy Bird Sounds
Flappy Bird Sounds
Five Nights At Freddy's 4 Sounds
Five Nights at Freddy's 4 Sounds
⚠️ NSFW
Russian Meme Soundboard
Russian Meme Soundboard
J.A.R.V.I.S. Soundboard
J.A.R.V.I.S. Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Indian Meme Soundboard 2023
Indian Meme Soundboard 2023
Chucky Soundboard
Chucky Soundboard
I Like Ya Cut G
I like ya cut g
Spongebob Squarepants Sounds
Spongebob Squarepants Sounds
Roblox Soundboard
Roblox Soundboard
IShowSpeed Soundboard
IShowSpeed Soundboard
Talking Ben Soundboard 2
Talking Ben Soundboard 2
Star Wars Soundboard
Star Wars Soundboard
Scooby Doo Soundboard
Scooby Doo Soundboard
Anime Soundboard 2019
Anime Soundboard 2019
⚠️ NSFW
Scarface Soundboard
Scarface Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Ringtones
Moaning Ringtones
Rick And Morty Soundboard
Rick and Morty Soundboard
John Cena Prank Sounds
John Cena Prank Sounds
Scout Sounds: Team Fortress 2
Scout Sounds: Team Fortress 2
Goku Soundboard
Goku Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Letterkenny (TV Series) Soundboard
Letterkenny (TV Series) Soundboard
Chewbacca Sounds: Star Wars
Chewbacca Sounds: Star Wars
⚠️ NSFW
Deutsche Memes - German MLG Meme Soundboard DEU DE
Deutsche Memes - German MLG Meme Soundboard DEU DE
⚠️ NSFW
Elmo Soundboard
Elmo Soundboard
Hentai Sex Soundboard #2 NSFW ?
Hentai Sex Soundboard #2 NSFW ?
The Price Is Right SFX
The Price is Right SFX
Instant Kaamelott French 🇫🇷 Soundboard
Instant Kaamelott French 🇫🇷 Soundboard
Sling Blade Soundboard
Sling Blade Soundboard
Demon Slayer Ringtones
Demon Slayer Ringtones
MrBeast Soundboard
MrBeast Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
President Donald Trump Soundboard
President Donald Trump Soundboard
Windows 98 Soundboard
Windows 98 Soundboard
Homer Simpson Sounds: The Simpsons - Seasons 1 And 2
Homer Simpson Sounds: The Simpsons - Seasons 1 and 2
Alan Partridge Super Soundboard
Alan Partridge Super Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin (Modern) TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin (Modern) TTS Computer AI Voice
⚠️ NSFW
Minions Soundboard
Minions Soundboard
Judge Judy Sounds
Judge Judy Sounds
Dancehall DJ Sound Effects
Dancehall DJ Sound Effects
Obi-Wan Kenobi Sounds: Star Wars
Obi-Wan Kenobi Sounds: Star Wars
Napoleon Dynamite Soundboard
Napoleon Dynamite Soundboard
Heavy Soundboard: Team Fortress 2
Heavy Soundboard: Team Fortress 2
Big Smoke Sounds: Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas
Big Smoke Sounds: Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas
Funny Sounds Of Germany
Funny Sounds of Germany
Trymacs Streamer Soundboard
Trymacs Streamer Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
C3PO (Star Wars) TTS Computer AI Voice
C3PO (Star Wars) TTS Computer AI Voice
Five Nights At Freddy's Sounds
Five Nights at Freddy's Sounds
Star Trek Ringtones
Star Trek Ringtones
Disney Ringtones
Disney Ringtones
Pikachu Soundboard: Hey You, Pikachu!
Pikachu Soundboard: Hey You, Pikachu!
Yoda Soundboard: Star Wars
Yoda Soundboard: Star Wars
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
TikTok TTS - Official TikTok Lady Text-To-Speech Computer Voice
TikTok TTS - Official TikTok Lady Text-To-Speech Computer Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Stitch (Lelo & Stitch) TTS Computer AI Voice
Stitch (Lelo & Stitch) TTS Computer AI Voice
Family Feud
Family Feud
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Soundboard
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Beavis And Butthead Sounds
Beavis and Butthead Sounds
E-Girl Soundboard
E-Girl Soundboard
Yoda Ringtones
Yoda Ringtones
OME TV VCS Soundboard
OME TV VCS Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Adam (ElevenLabs) (aggressive) TTS Computer AI Voice
Adam (ElevenLabs) (aggressive) TTS Computer AI Voice
Battle Droid Sounds: Star Wars
Battle Droid Sounds: Star Wars
Minecraft Giant Sound Effects Soundboard
Minecraft Giant Sound Effects Soundboard
Meme Soundboard 2023
Meme Soundboard 2023
Carl Johnson GTA Soundboard
Carl Johnson GTA Soundboard
Merchant Sounds: Resident Evil 4
Merchant Sounds: Resident Evil 4
Halo Ringtones
Halo Ringtones
Spy Soundboard - Team Fortress 2
Spy Soundboard - Team Fortress 2
Windows 7 Sounds
Windows 7 Sounds