The Last Dragon (1985) Edit

A black man with a pizza shop.

A cycle is complete...

A goddess is what they're gonna call her. A goddess.

A great fighter, for instance...

A kiss?

A lot of girls out there would like to trade places with you.

A mission?

About the wahsa, legendary Bruce Leroy...

After all, me and this lady, we got a lot in common.

Ain't no slaves either.

Ain't no woman like that gonna hold still while you figure it out.

Ain't nothing gonna stand between me and my destiny...

Ain't this beautiful, huh? I love it. I love it.

All facets must be embraced...

All for me?

All for you, sweetheart.

All I wanted was my video on your show...

All it takes is one little bullet.

All over your body. Come, Leroy.

All right, all right!

All right, come on.

All right, enough is enough! Y'all better chill out.

All right, Leroy, who's the one and only master?

All right, take it easy!

All right, that's enough.

All right!

All right.

All this glamour and stardom...

All to make you a star.

All you've got is this bod, and that's it.

Am I the baddest mofo lowdown around this town?

Am I the baddest mofo lowdown around this town?

And also getting by on my tits.

And boyfriend, Eddie Arkadian.

And he came to me for advice.

And I will gladly designate his ass...

And I will not rest until everybody knows...

And I, well...

And in the end, Eddie, you know what?

And it ain't no thing and the prize ain't no date.

And it is hot.

And it is there, only there...

And it is there, only there...

And it's all for you, sweetheart.

And lots of attitude.

And now there is a new emptiness to be filled...

And now you say no.

And our inmates are off to a promising start this morning.

And saucy Leroy Green.

And the rap I'm gonna lay on her...

And then, of course, to find them again.

And this chick will beg to play this thing.

And this?

And to think how I found them in your suitcase.

And to think, the featured act is yet to come!

And very, very exciting.

And, Leroy...

Angela Viracco.

Angela, sweetheart, shut up.

Anything you say!

Anyway you wanna do it.

Anyway, you seem to be the best qualified. I mean...

Are you gonna put my video on your show or aren't you?

Are you in here?

Are you on vacation? Move it!

Are you out of your mind?!

Are you ready?

Are you?

As soon as I get that Leroy character out of the way.

At the designated time...

At the slightest hint of their master's displeasure.

Attaboy, Leroy!

Baron Von Rick's got a more direct route to the target.

Be careful.

Beast, kill him!

Beast, let him go.

Beauty and perfection is our life.

Because I am the shogun!

Because it's alive...

Because now he's got to fight me.

Because of my former producer, associate...

Because that's as close as you're gonna get.

Belt buckle?

Bodyguard.

Bolo.

Boss, don't get mad because it wasn't our fault.

Bow down or I'm gonna snap this clown in two!

Bow down to your master!

Bow!

Bow!

Bozo, you go that way. Just go.

Bravo, Leroy!

Break.

Bring her back in one piece, will you?

Brought to you by Coca Cola.

Bruce Leroy, that's who!

Bruce Leroy?

Bruce Leroy?

Buddy, I'm gonna rip your face off.

Bums.

But he has never been with a woman before.

But you will. I'm gonna see to that.

But, Eddie, I'm hungry. I wanna go!

But, Eddie, you're all wet!

But, master...

Calling Leroy.

Can I kick?

Can't she just meet us there?

Catches bullets with his teeth?

Catching bullets with his teeth.

Check this out.

Chill out, chopsticks. Let me handle this.

Chinese Connection.

Chinese GoJu is my secret!

Chinese GoJu is my secret.

Chinese GoJu is my secret. I bear no arms.

Ciao, baby.

Cock's crow?

Coke is it.

Come down here and make me?

Come down here just for the fun of it?

Come on, at least have dinner with him.

Come on, come on.

Come on, get her in here.

Come on, handsome, show us your stuff!

Come on, honey, let's go.

Come on, Leroy, let me out!

Come on, Leroy!

Come on, Leroy.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, move it!

Come on, we're just talking about one dinner out of your life.

Come on, you miserable slob!

Come on!

Come on! Come here!

Come on! Will you make it interesting?

Come on.

Come, you will be safe now.

Come, you will be safe now.

Conscience is our guide!

Conscience is our guide.

Coward.

Coward.

Crunch, Beast, Cyclone!

Dancing around on that screen, ain't that right?

Do it, do it. What... What it be like? What it...

Do you know, the strangest things keep happening to me.

Do you not need a weapon?

Do you plan to fight with only your bare hands?

Doll, did I do you a favor or did I do you a favor?

Don't be no fool, Jack.

Don't break the table!

Don't bug me! Fix your face!

Don't cover up for that Ping Pong playing...

Don't disappear, okay? I'll be right back.

Don't hurt that face, baby!

Don't know. Not sure I'd tell you if I did.

Don't move. I'll be back in five minutes.

Don't you love it?

Double?

Down.

Drown him, Leroy! Drown him!

Drown that sucker!

Duck, Leroy! You can't do that to my brother!

Eddie.

Eddie.

Else? What else is there?

Enough!

Enough.

Every fight I got you.

Everyone knows you're scared of him.

Fifteen seconds, Laura. Come on. Come on. Let's go! Let's go.

Fire!

Fists of Fury!

For dismemberment.

For real though.

For then and only then...

Forget it. I will go. Don't...

Form is our manifestation!

From Kew Gardens getting by on her tits!

From the clock's chime to the cock's crow is but an instant.

From the mind and guides the body without thought.

From the now generation, with my Cloud Crowd.

Full of disciples falling to their knees...

Get going!

Get him, get him! Come on, hit him!

Get him, girls.

Get in there!

Get into the villains' lair!

Get it off! Get the broad!

Get on him, Leroy! Go, Leroy!

Get that son of a...

Get up.

Get your hands off my woman!

Give me a break.

Give me five minutes, Eddie...

Give that man anything he wants. Give him a bone.

Give them a little move, a little scream...

Go for it, boys! Give him a lick!

Go have a nice, normal, boring life.

Go now, my son, on your journey.

Go, go, go.

Go, Johnny!

Go, Rick.

Go.

Go.

God, what a slug!

God, what was that all about?

Goddamn it, take that off! I said, take it off!

Goddamn!

Good! That's one for you!

Good. Confusion is a part of life, as are vengeance, fear and love.

Got a little job for you.

Got it!

Got you now, you little punk.

Great.

Green Sanitarium, warden speaking...

Haulee ass out of this place.

Have to use...

He ain't no cornball!

He better stay away from Seventh Heaven.

He don't see no one who don't know how to get down, baby!

He has disguised himself in order to get...

He is said to be the wisest man in the universe. Go, find him.

He will see me.

He'll slit my throat if you don't do this. Come on!

He's becoming one with his brain again. Yeah.

He's gone crazy.

He's too much of a gentleman to hit a lady.

Help!

Help!

Here you go, Sho. Here's the roach who said it.

Here.

Hey, Angie, baby, soon that's gonna be you up there, huh?

Hey, Leroy!

Hey, let me get this straight.

Hey, my man, what it look like?

Hey, my man, what it look like?

Hey, my man.

Hey, my man.

Hey, Reloy!

Hey, Rock! Come here.

Hey, what are you, crazy? Huh, tough guy? Come on!

Hey.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

How about a kiss?!

How about a little kiss on my fist?

How about something in a medium sized Oriental?

How about what?

How about you, string bean, Rick James looking fool?

How can I have her ready on time?

I ain't taking you nowhere, and that's final.

I ain't taking you nowhere. You might embarrass me.

I am deeply in your debt.

I am in search of the final level where the spirit takes over...

I am Leroy. Leroy Green.

I am no master.

I am not concerned with moves.

I am sick of hearing these bullshit superman stories...

I am sorry, but it's just...

I am sorry. I cannot.

I am the shogun of Harlem...

I am the soul brother like no other...

I am.

I applaud you, Leroy.

I bear no arms.

I can't hear you, Leroy!

I can't hear you!

I can't hear you.

I can't help it if he's weird.

I could find Leroy Green here!

I did not mean it towards you.

I do not think Miss Charles enjoys your company.

I do not wish to fight you.

I don't have the right tools with me.

I don't know what you're doing anyway.

I don't know who you are, pal, but you're in a lot of trouble!

I don't know.

I don't know. What? You getting in or what?

I don't mean to bother you, but...

I don't see why I'm getting so upset.

I don't understand what you see in him!

I got him, Sho. I got him.

I got him, Sho. I got him.

I got something real for your ass in these hands.

I gotta save Laura.

I just don't know how to thank you.

I knew it would happen sooner or later.

I know what it's like to lose precious things...

I know who can beat you!

I love you. You stay here.

I mastered the art of fighting without knowing how to fight.

I mean, I seem to be attracting the craziest people.

I mean, I seem to be attracting the craziest people.

I mean, just like you tried to use Rock.

I mean, what's the big deal?

I mean...

I must do this alone.

I must go.

I must go.

I never buy tickets, you shrimp fried rice head, you.

I ought to slap that sucker with a suit for alienation of affections!

I said, beat it!

I said, chill out!

I said, get your hands off my woman!

I said, I cannot help you.

I said, shut up!

I said, who's the master?!

I said, Why don't you sit down and shut up?

I say we rock on with DeBarge.

I think that maybe you're trying to use me to get what you want.

I thought I wasn't exactly on your favorite persons' list.

I told you to get rid of that thing.

I want to see him now!

I was all broken up.

I was doing all right till the guy got the drop on me!

I was gonna take you out to a fancy restaurant.

I was told...

I will do anything to prove my worthiness.

I will see him now?

I wish you all would decide on one name for this poor child.

I would like to see her.

I would like to see her.

I would love to peel this banana.

I would not do that if I were you.

I'd love to, but I must complete a mission first.

I'll be back. Just stay right here and don't move.

I'll take domestic. What do you say? Wait.

I'm glad you made it. I'm glad I made it.

I'm gonna sit right here and wait for her to show up.

I'm gonna tell you one more time. The answer is no.

I'm gonna whack this guy and get it over with now!

I'm held captive till the coolie kid comes down from the roof.

I'm Leroy Green. Who are you?

I'm not *******.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm telling you, I don't need a contest to win this date because I got juice.

I've been waiting a long time for this, Leroy.

I've got a surprise dessert.

I've never seen anything like that. I mean anything. No, wait!

If I got myself a bodyguard...

If it ain't the serious...

If it is a master...

If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't know where she was!

If this deejay broad don't wise up, she's gonna be dessert.

If you go, I go!

If you'd have put this energy into getting me a title fight...

Imagine the wonder someone like this can bring to the world.

Is a little punk that thinks he's a kung fu master.

Is it not kind of hot in here, Miss Charles?

Is this not his fortune cookie factory?

Is this where he does all that stuff?

It can really hurt if you don't know what you're doing.

It contains everything you need...

It is something I thought you can help me with... Him with.

It is to build thy body temple. Spiritualize it.

It is very valuable to me.

It would be best that you leave her alone.

It'll certainly be my pleasure, Mr. Nuff.

It's all for you, isn't it, Eddie?

It's nice. I like that.

It's not that I don't like it.

J.J., I would love to help you out...

Jack him up, baby!

Jack him up!

Jesus!

Johnny, I am sorry.

Johnny, what are you doing?

Johnny!

Johnny! Are you all right?

Johnny...

Joints and bags! Joints and bags!

Just direct a your feets a to Daddy Green's...

Just give me a finder's fee!

Just let me know if you change your mind.

Just needs a couple more steps. And you girls looked great too.

Just promise me that you won't vanish as soon as I give it back to you.

Just wait here.

Kew Gardens.

Kiss Daddy's shoes.

Kiss my hand.

Kiss them.

Laura Charles said it was nice to meet me!

Laura Charles.

Laura Charles. Laura Charles.

Laura, the other night I lost a medallion and...

Leroy, come back here!

Leroy, come back here!

Leroy, I gotta save Laura!

Leroy, I never would've told you if I thought you'd actually go there.

Leroy, this is not a punishment.

Leroy!

Leroy!

Leroy!

Leroy!

Leroy!

Leroy!

Leroy! Come on, man!

Leroy! I'm afraid of the dark!

Leroy! I'm going to...

Leroy! Leroy!

Leroy! Leroy!

Leroy! Leroy!

Leroy?

Leroy?

Leroy? Leroy, come back here!

Leroy...

Let her go, or next time I will not miss.

Let me at him.

Let me go, you big baboon!

Let me go!

Let me go!

Let me go! Let me go!

Let me pass. We've got a television show to do.

Like Bruce Lee.

Like, someone to guard my body.

Listen, if this is a bad time, you know, I can just...

Listen, Laura what's her face is gonna be here any second.

Listen, we can make a deal!

Little Joe, man! You pay up, bro!

Live from Seventh Heaven, it's Laura's Video Hotpix...

Look at that, he's just... That's hot. He's sick. The boy's...

Look at this, it's all wet. You're all wet.

Look, let me break it down to you.

Looked like he was doing all right to me.

Looks like my man forgot about his pizza.

Lotus Blossom san.

Love is our law!

Make her melt like hot butter all over my body!

Mama san, Papa san...

Mama... The walls... My shop!

Master, perhaps with more time to train.

May God help me if I ever have to use my art!

May God help me if I ever have to use my art.

May God help me if I ever have to use my art.

Maybe I should just come back another time, huh?

Maybe I'd have been on my way to Vegas now.

Maybe they're more your speed.

Maybe you can get a rise out of this limp wimp.

Maybe you didn't hear it right.

Might get just his hands to fill with such power...

More volume!

Move out. Come on. Plan B. Let's go! Move out! Come on.

Moves?

Moves.

Mr. Lee?

Mr. Leroy?

Mr. Leroy?

My concern is something else.

My friend and I, Mr. Nuff, we were minding our own business.

My friend, he has never been...

My life is not filled with all that craziness.

My little dodo turd brain's gonna be a star.

My man, the master, he split, you know?

My man.

My man.

My man. Brother.

My personal choices for Video Hotpix of the week...

My way!

Next time, I won't miss either!

****a, please.

No way the queen is gonna be looking at no walking fortune cookie.

No, he's not here, but...

No, I'm going to visit my mother in Miami.

No, no, no!

No, thanks.

No!

No.

No.

Nobody turns down an Eddie Arkadian invitation.

Nobody.

Not only do you not know when to do something...

Now it is your turn.

Now there isn't a hungry soul in this town that doesn't know my slogan:

Now what do you think of your lover boy, huh?

Now, even you being a disgrace and all, I'd be less than a man if I didn't warn you...

Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time.

Now, if you bloods would show me where I can find the master...

Now, if you're unhappy with all of this, why don't you just walk out?

Of course I'm all right.

Of course I'm gonna buy tickets!

Oh, Eddie, she's just tired.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, God, I can't believe this!

Oh, God.

Oh, here she comes.

Oh, honey.

Oh, I don't want you to kill anybody.

Oh, jeez. Don't cry.

Oh, no, I had too much already.

Oh, patty cake shit.

Oh, shit!

Oh, that's really wonderful!

Oh, yeah, craps.

Oh, yeah!

Okay, all right, no finder's fee.

Okay, anything you say.

Okay, here, come with me.

Okay, I tried to be a gentleman about this!

Okay, that's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy.

Okay, you can come out now!

Okay!

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Listen, you stay right here, okay?

One of them? Or one of the ladies maybe?

Peace is my shelter.

Peace is my shelter.

Peace is our shelter.

Peace is our shelter.

People are afraid of Oriental dudes.

Pizza with bean sprouts?

Playtime's over, boy.

Please, I must see her.

Please, I must see the master.

Please, just give it some thought, okay?

Please, please, please! There is no master!

Please, take it easy.

Pretty chopsticks, Natasha.

Put his butt on the chuck wagon and send his ass to the dogs.

Put it away. Come on.

Put me down.

Put the key in the latch and turn it!

Ran out on you, huh?

Rhythm of the Night.

Richie san...

Richie, I must go to this dance contest.

Richie, please.

Richie, when I first started my business, people said I was weird.

Richie, where are you going? Are you not gonna buy tickets?

Richie.

Richie.

Richie...

Right on!

Right time of the night to look at it.

Rock, get this damn thing out of here.

Rock, let's go.

Save it, Arkadian! You're going up for good this time!

See the courtesy.

See, man, messing around with you, now my boys don't even know I'm here.

See, now it is mumbo jumbo like that...

She don't know it yet, but she's mine.

She got a manager?

She said it was nice to meet me.

She said it was nice!

She...

She'll see the light...

She's gonna be dead tired, she's not careful.

She's got the audience, I got the vision. A match made in heaven.

Sho'nuff happened, that's what. And it's all because of you!

Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff! Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff! Sho'nuff! Sho'nuff!

Sho'nuff.

Shut up, bitch!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Smoke a little herb. Sip a little wine, huh?

So I thought that maybe it would be a great idea...

So I thought that maybe it would be a great idea...

So I'm gonna ask you one more time.

So take your final bows, scum sucker.

So that you go out in style.

So the broad wants to play tough, huh?

So we thought we might get some lessons.

So why don't you chill out with us?

So you have not found the master that you seek.

So you remember now, every weekday night at 8:00.

So you're gonna play my video, huh?

Something's going on in here.

Sometimes it is hard to live the way of the wise.

Soon that's gonna be you, Angie...

Sorry, miss, I didn't mean to scare you that bad.

Soul brother!

Stay there for me. Stay there.

Stay there.

Still hungry, are we?

Stings a little, don't it?

Stupid old clothes, won't mess with no babes.

Sure. Sure, until he lost a fight.

Sweetheart, you should see the talent I got lined up out there.

Take this. It was Bruce Lee's.

Tell him when I found out he wasn't here...

Tell that chicken hearted son of yours...

Tell...

Than hanging around here...

Thank you.

Thanks a lot, Bruce!

That gives kung fu a bad name.

That is why I came by, to apologize for the way I spoke.

That is wonderful.

That son of a bitch is history.

That sucker better start sleeping with one eye open.

That they would get the glow, which could be deadly in evil hands.

That thing that looks like a belt buckle?

That was almost worth the price of admission in there!

That was the blue one?

That when you reached the final level...

That you shall find the master.

That you shall find the master.

That's a beautiful dream, Leroy.

That's a great finish.

That's it, man. Enough is enough.

That's my babe, Pop! That's my date for tonight.

That's my girl!

That's okay. I can get them.

That's that, man, and there ain't no coming back.

That's the only guy that stands between Sho and total supremacy.

That's the way! Get him, Leroy! Get him!

That's what she was gonna say, wasn't it, honey?

The beauty he would be able to create would be without bounds.

The final level is a return to the beginning.

The final level.

The glow. You always said that...

The Great White Hopeless, they called you. Remember?

The key. Wait. Okay!

The man himself.

The master don't see nobody, especially no jive coolies.

The master, he doing his wisdom thing.

The point of the knife which is at my neck.

The prize in this contest you hope to win is a date?

The shogun is back on the scene and the shogun is the master.

The shogun of Harlem.

The tank?

The wise one never sees nobody.

The worst thing that can happen to you is that she says yes.

Then knock it off.

Then let the games...

Then you'll be my bodyguard?

There is an old sage called Sum Dum Goy.

There is no Sum Dum Goy.

There is one place that you have not yet looked.

There must have been 20 or 30 of them.

There, ****a, please!

There's an art to making love and you don't even have a paintbrush.

There's nothing like this on stage, screen, radio, TV, or cable, baby!

There's only one way to find out. Come on!

They did not harm me.

They had pipes, bats, they had everything!

Think, Leroy.

This fool's mine.

This is an exclusive!

This is craps, man! You pay me!

This is enough to drive you crazy.

This is great!

This is how we play in Harlem.

This is Sho's row. Move it.

This is so you'll never lose it again.

This is Sum Dum Goy.

This is sure one strange game of craps, soul brother.

This is the Last Dragon.

This place is great.

Those who are bound by desire...

Tired, huh?

To deliver this pizza with bean sprouts.

To elocution class!

To find your way to the golden glow.

To master the art of fighting without fighting?

To my little party in your honor, Leroy.

To name the place.

To seek safety, one must go to the heart of danger.

To tell you the truth, it couldn't be any more boring...

Today my special guests, the tastemakers...

Tonight, we make show biz history...

Tonight's show is conceived...

Truth is our worship!

Turkey!

Two of us can play that game.

Two, three, five. Right?

Wait a minute, sweetheart! Wait.

Wait for me, will you? Come on, man, wait for me!

Watch yourself, son.

Way to go, Goliath!

We don't want our star to look like a little pig peed in her eyes now, do we?

We gonna settle this once and for all because I am back.

We have finished our journey together.

We love you!

We made him up to sell more fortune cookies!

We meet again, Miss Charles.

We need a better view. Come on, ringside seats!

We were assaulted by these hoodlums!

We're getting funky to the smooth, cool sounds of Fast Eddie A!

We're lucky to be alive!

Weapon, right!

Well, how about I leave him a little message, then?!

Well, I did you one better.

Well, I mean, if it's really all for me...

Well, well, well.

Well, who do you wish to fight, then?

Well, you never know.

Well, you see, I'm on my way back to...

Well, you see, Leroy, you know how you're always teaching us...

Well, you... You can't be serious!

What are you doing up there?

What are you doing? This isn't funny, Leroy!

What are you guys waiting for? Get going!

What are you talking about, J.J.?

What do you mean, out of the way?

What do you think about that?

What do you think they're gonna call her?

What everybody else is getting, huh?

What for?

What good is that kung fu jive if you can't even use it?

What guy? Okay. Tell me, J.J., who?

What it look like? No.

What it smell like? I think I have it.

What she'll do to people has never been done.

What the...?

What time is it?

What you seek is not written on the floor.

What, are you crazy? He's the Beast.

What?

What? Tell me. Come on.

What? Where are we going?

What? Why don't I sit down and what?!

What?! No! Oh, God, no!

What's that?

What's wrong?

When you find the master who will take you to the final level...

Where are we going? We already missed the second show.

Where do you think you're going?!

Where have you guys been?!

Where is that deejay lady anyway?

Where is the master?!

Where you gonna go, Angie?

While you guys go play cops and robbers.

Who am I?

Who are you?

Who is she?

Who is the master, huh?

Who is the master?!

Who looks scared to me!

Who plays this garbage?

Who said that?

Who said that? Beast, find who said that!

Who the hell is this guy? Get in there! Break his face, will you?

Who's badder than the shogun?

Who's calling? Yo, Roy.

Who's the master?

Who's the master?!

Whose answer you already know.

Why did I not think of that before?

Why don't any 50 of you who want me to sit down and shut up...

Why don't anybody who wants me to sit down and shut up...