Kingpin (1996) Edit

A $60 a night motel room, and you're sleeping in the car?

A bowler's two worst enemies are his eyes and his ears.

A friend, a brother?

A genuine hero.

A great role model for America's kids.

A gross of fluorescent condoms for the novelty machine in the men's room?

A little Roy 101.

A nasty spill.

A one pin victory for Ernie McCracken.

A promising young talent in the 1970s.

A real Munson.

A strike here provides some breathing room.

A true champion doesn't quit, and neither did you.

A whole lot more.

About what?

About you saving the Amish people?

Ah, shit!

All I have to do is a commercial...

All right, let's get going.

All right!

All right!

All right.

All right.

All set, Charlie.

An open frame in the 10th. I was robbed, goddamn it!

And a $50,000 yell, okay?

And a 41.

And bring some money.

And don't come back!

And give a little talk at Vassar College orientation.

And go blow lunch or whatever you do to keep your ass in business.

And he told us how you got him to quit all that...

And I thought I could fix them.

And I want them to bring back

And I won!

And if you do that, you're gonna be decent...

And it's a school night.

And make his left hand look just like his right hand!

And make your silly little spare...

And no more bullshitting. I promise.

And not because you gotta

And now the pressure is squarely on Big Ern McCracken.

And sending the head pin around the 3.

And tell them I didn't have what it takes to make it on the tour.

And that bowler is you.

And the gambling.

And the loser gets nothing.

And the stalks were broken...

And this whole area is in danger of being contaminated by a huge cloud of...

And this, the 7 10, is by far the most difficult.

And those babies are real.

And we're mighty proud of you.

And you call this a bowling alley?

And you're the big guy with the lucky dice, aren't you?

And your butt is kind of like an about to explode bratwurst.

And, you know, a heck of a nice guy, goes against Roy Munson...

Any shingling or butter churning need doing?

Anything?

Anyway, I owe you guys a little bit of money.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. The money we came to win is right here in Reno...

Are you all right, sir?

Are you crazy? Padre, how much are you into us for already?

Are you going to set that creep straight, or should I?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you still drinking?

At a legitimate sporting contest where the best player wins...

At least my dad did.

At midnight.

Atta boy, Luther!

Baby, we had some good times in Chicago.

Because he bowls with a rubber prosthetic hand.

Because he's the best player, and we have the best player.

Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now...

Believe me, keeping up is not going to be a problem.

Besides, that coffee wasn't even hot.

Better call them before they go to sleep. Hurry up.

Big Ern. Long time.

Big problem, my friend.

Boo.

Bottle. One bottle.

Bottom of the ninth, two minute warning, last frame?

Bowling manager?

Boy, it's hot in here. I need something to cool down.

Boy, the two of you kind of look a little down on your luck.

Brother Hezekiah, come with us.

Brother Thomas, you know what it says in the Bible about not forgiving people.

Brother, everyone knows you meant well.

Brunswick Reno Open!

Buckets. 3, 5, 6 and 9. It's from coming in too light in the pocket...

Buckle up, my friend. You're about to embark on a great adventure.

But can he pick up a 7 10 split?

But he means well and we love him.

But he's put on quite a lot of pressure.

But here in Pennsylvania, no one runs for the dinner bell...

But I'll bet it's your own damn fault.

But I'll bet when you're off, you leave a lot of buckets.

But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so bombed.

But I'm ready to start betting on you.

But if you don't wiggle those childbearing hips out that door...

But little Billy's not the only one. There's also little Jason here.

But the freebies are all out.

But you might not remember

Buy some? What, I gotta pay for mustard if I get a hotdog?

By tomorrow, they'll find out that you're a fraud.

Bye, Brother Munson. Bye, whore.

Bye, Ish.

Bye, Ish.

Can you believe this? Me on a professional bowling tour?

Can you break a 20?

Can you get sick drinking piss?

Captain Hook!

Charge me for milk, will ya? Ya lowlife.

Cheap hustler like you, I don't care if they put a bullet in your head.

Checks and balances.

Claudia to quit being so much of the whore that she is.

Claudia, why don't you show us the way to the bowling alley?

Coach, listen to this.

Come back to me. Let's try to make it work.

Come here.

Come on, boy. Bowl!

Come on, Roy.

Come on, you chickenshits. I'm good for the money. Put up my share.

Come on.

Come on. Everyone's waiting at the party.

Come on. Right now.

Come on. What are we going to do with a rubber hand?

Congratulations, my friend. You passed the test.

Could I have a word with you in the other room, dear?

Could we go have a little chat?

Could you move that seat up so I can stretch my feet out?

Could you put on ESPN, please?

Couple of guys? No. You mean you saw her with us, right?

Cut!

Damn this hand!

Dictionaries.

Did you burn your little fingers?

Didn't I tell you to call me "Ernie" or "Big Ern"?

Dishonor the game by betting with money you don't even have?

Do I gotta pay for matches?

Do it!

Do not allow yourself to be corrupted.

Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.

Does this mean that he gets a handicap?

Doesn't make you a missionary.

Don't be angry with your brother.

Don't do it. He's just trying to lower you to his level.

Don't do it. Let's just have six, seven drinks and go.

Don't trouble yourself, ma'am. I'll get that.

Don't worry, Miss Rebecca. Your goodness gives me strength.

Don't you ever pull that shit with me.

Don't you need a coach...

Don't you worry about that.

Double or nothing I can pick up that spare.

Drunk or sober. "

Dues times 16 years...

Eat your chili fries, drink your shake...

Engine blown.

Equals $38.

Ernie's got a heart of gold, but what an intimidator.

Even if it's your own?

Ever turn on you...

Every week, I tell you the same thing: We don't need nothing.

Everybody expected so much from me.

Everyone believed in me.

Excuse me?

Excuse me. Where is the lady who's staying here?

Extra income?

Father, please do something.

Feast your eyes.

Find the meat!

Fine, my so called friend. Take your silly little ball...

Fine. Then it's $1,000 a game.

Five, ten, here's twenty.

Flossin'.

For $1,500. Guys?

For $700? No way.

For that kind of money, you'd think you'd get two testicles.

From here on out, we're all gonna work together as a team.

From Ohio, Brother Hezakiah.

Get him inside.

Get him up there.

Get in! Come on! Get a move on!

Get out of the car, wise guy!

Get out!

Give him a wide berth.

Give it back. What are you, sissy? You need a purse?

Go ahead, you chickenshit! Run home to Mommy!

Go away. You'll get your rent money tomorrow.

Go get your ball. I'll meet you out back.

Go to the potato bar when you're ready.

Go, Big Ern!

God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter.

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

Good luck.

Got two bits of advice for you.

Gotcha! Okay, park the shitbox and come with me.

Grab your tools. Follow me.

Great.

Guess Brother Hezakiah was afraid of getting his fingers dirty.

Guess I was ashamed.

Guess it's all that pumpin'.

Half a mil?

Half the dresses you got, you need two hairdos to wear. Admit it!

Has clearly done for bowling what Muhammad Ali did for boxing.

Has suddenly come out of nowhere with his bowling ball.

Have a seat.

Have you been drinking again?

Have you seen a big Amish guy come through here...

He bet against you.

He blessed you, too, and I'll give you a clue what it is.

He can play.

He delivers on the goods. Look at him pump up this crowd.

He gave me this when I left.

He hit me, the bastard, and hitting, I don't take!

He is a major contender in this competition.

He looks for his spot. On the approach.

He shattered it. Look at this bonus.

He taught me a lot out here.

He told us about the booze and the lusting...

He's got a 228. You need three strikes.

He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker.

He's just a little better than me, that's all.

He's what is called a born loser...

Hello, Ishmael.

Here come our two finalists.

Here we go.

Here you are, passing all that bowling knowledge on to Ishmael.

Here you go. You okay?

Here. I had them wrap up your food...

Here. Use this shampoo.

Hey, buddy boy...

Hey, call me "Ernie" or "Big Ern. "

Hey, everybody, there's a shit cloud coming! Run for your lives!

Hey, give me that. What are you doing?

Hey, Herb. How's life?

Hey, look. Listen, lady.

Hey, Pa!

Hey, Roy.

Hey, sport, Coca Cola.

Hey, this isn't so bad.

Hey, top heavy, give me a Tiparillo and a sake and seltzer, s'il vous plait.

Hey, whoa. Let me help you here.

Hey!

Hey. Hey! What are you looking at?

Hi, Grandma.

Hi, Mr. McCracken.

Hi. How are you?

Hi. What's your name?

Holy cow!

Hop in.

How about one more title, sweetness?

How come you know so much about bowling?

How could you let me do this?

How dare you accuse me of anything!

How do I look?

How does the rest of this hustle work?

How gallant is that?

How many children do you have, Brother Hezakiah?

How much is it gonna cost to fix?

How much is that going to cost me?

How true. In bowling, there are 1,022 spare leads...

How you been otherwise?

How you quoted the Scriptures to give him strength.

How'd he do that?

I I can work it off. I'm pretty good with a needle and thread.

I believe you owe us another $100.

I bet. Hello.

I can do anything I want when I get my money later.

I can knit. I can sew the girls' costumes when they get frayed.

I can't believe you were going to ditch out and go to Reno without me!

I can't expect you all to see this my way

I can't face them.

I can't go home now. This is the 10th frame.

I checked my phone records at the hotel.

I deserve a little extra after getting third degree burns on my pupils.

I did Ish a favor.

I did it for the kid.

I didn't even have the nerve to come back for the funeral.

I didn't know you were going to use a knife. I'm just buying some time.

I didn't say anything to you.

I didn't see it. I heard it.

I didn't want them to think that we were in cahoots.

I didn't want to be the one to tell him, but with those narrow hips...

I didn't want to get beat by a guy with a hook.

I don't drink coffee.

I don't know how a barn raising is done in Ohio...

I don't know much about life outside of Brimfield.

I don't know what would happen.

I don't know why I did this. I don't know where I'm going...

I don't know.

I don't know. I don't remember a thing. The whole night's a blur to me.

I don't know. I thought I played pretty good.

I don't know. I used to think it was.

I don't know. It's fun though, isn't it?

I don't necessarily feel like we need to play for money.

I don't puke when I drink.

I don't think you do.

I don't understand how you can still be mad at us. We just saved your butt.

I don't want to lose face...

I felt responsible.

I gave it to Miss Claudia to hold.

I got a news flash for you, Mother Teresa.

I got the money.

I got to make a phone call.

I got to watch you.

I got word he died about 10 years ago.

I got you down for a 50 gallon drum of lane oil and a case of bowler's tape.

I guess that's why Claudia and I were fighting.

I guess the angels are bowling.

I had the entire company record 21 times.

I had to. I couldn't help myself.

I happen to think you're wrong.

I have half a beer left. There's no way I'm going home. Over my dead body.

I have something for you.

I haven't heard this one in a while.

I heard what you were saying about me, about each other.

I hope he doesn't get Munsoned out in the middle of nowhere.

I hope Ishmael has enough street smarts to get to Reno by himself.

I hope so, Dad. I want to make you proud.

I hope you rot in hell, you loser!

I just had a thought.

I just had a thought.

I just made those phone calls to throw Stanley off my scent...

I just might know somebody to accommodate you.

I just throw that out. You two mull it over.

I knew you'd come back.

I know a little about this racket. I learned it the hard way.

I know exactly what it says.

I know how you like to drink, so I brought you some...

I know what you're thinking. Let me explain.

I know you're a hustler. Can your kid play or not?

I like that.

I missed you.

I need you now more than ever.

I never could get the damn thing running.

I never stayed in a fancy hotel before...

I never went with him.

I only got two!

I only have a vague recollection of when it wasn't kicking mine.

I ought to stoot slap your ass right now.

I promise you I will not return without him.

I promise you, you're not his type.

I puke when I don't.

I remember that night too, and I don't remember anybody twisting your arm.

I said I'd sooner get Munsoned out here...

I said, are you all right?

I saw your phony roll.

I think I smell it! Come on. Let's go.

I think I tore my sack.

I think it's just sprained.

I think you can.

I thought I recognized...

I thought we were partners, but I guess I was wrong.

I thought we were partners.

I walked past the mall

I want that rent by tomorrow, or you're out of here!

I want to go to Reno!

I want to see those guys one more time.

I want you to take them out back...

I wanted to be the one to save the day.

I was never in a car before.

I wasn't asking you.

I will pay you $1 million to sleep with your friend here.

I... It's just not what I expected.

I'd rather mop the floors at a peep show.

I'd sooner get Munsoned out here in the middle of nowhere...

I'll be back with enough money to save the land.

I'll brush my teeth.

I'll handle this.

I'll say. Probably a year for every topping on the table.

I'll slice your throat!

I'll tell you something else.

I'll tell you what my relationship is to him. He's the guy who gave me that.

I'll tell you what they're doing here.

I'm a priest like you're a dictionary salesman, you piece of shit.

I'm Big Ern! I'm the greatest!

I'm fine.

I'm fine. Just make sure you win.

I'm going to go after him, talk to him.

I'm here to teach you about bowling, and that's it.

I'm in 1103.

I'm listening.

I'm magnificent! I'm the greatest!

I'm no hero. I don't even know what happened.

I'm not going to bowl. You are.

I'm not here to teach you everything about everything in the world.

I'm passing through on my way to Ohio.

I'm scared.

I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not interested.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Did I wake you, Fatima? Ethyl supreme. Top it off.

I'm sorry. Where are my manners? Does anyone else want one?

I'm talking about bowling... your future.

I'm tired of all your questions.

I'm won't lower myself to having a fistfight with a girl.

I've been liquored up for 17 years. My judgment's not what it once was.

I've committed a sin.

I've desecrated my body. Can't go home now.

I've done a lot of creepy things in my life.

I've got 42 grand right there. We can take off now.

I've got to go.

If anyone here found out that I went to that bowling alley...

If he makes this, he's going to make a million dollars and save the farm.

If he strikes...

If I could see you, I'd kiss you.

If I hadn't knocked him out, those animals would've torn him apart.

If I'd have stuck with you, Stanley would've hurt you and Ishmael.

If the freebies are out, yeah.

If the good Lord sees fit...

If we're going to make enough dough to get to Reno, we're going to bet.

If you ever need to just talk, call me.

If you guys want a straight up money game, go to this address tonight.

If you made it through the first few rounds, you'd find your touch again.

If you want to earn half a million dollars and save your town...

If you want to go on...

In every city I bowl in.

In the Biggest Little City in the World, Reno, Nevada...

In the middle of lifting a 2,000 pound wall!

In the middle of nowhere.

Is everything okay?

Is reshoeing Buttercup.

Is that a rose?

Is there anything I can do?

Ish worships you, and you've fed him bullshit to line your own pockets.

Ish, what happened in there?

Ishmael always was a strange boy...

Ishmael Boorg.

Ishmael likes me.

Isn't he the best?

Isn't she the most incredible woman you've ever seen?

It all comes down to this roll.

It appears to be. Clearly custom made.

It can get pretty scary.

It cleans your teeth. You should try it. You'll be amazed what you find.

It has come down to this:

It means "extra. "

It really bites.

It takes guts to say no, kid.

It took a little while to get her warmed up. She sure is a stubborn one.

It was me.

It was our secret.

It'll come right off. It'll burn off in a jiffy.

It'll force Big Ern to roll three consecutive strikes to win.

It's a figure of speech.

It's a small world when you got unbelievable tits.

It's a tough world. These kids nearly got Munsoned, but they're back now.

It's against my religion. I was raised to not be a gambler.

It's as if angels came down from heaven...

It's better that we don't like each other, since we'll be business partners.

It's broken.

It's for my morning coffee.

It's funny. It's like time stopped for me when I left this town.

It's kind of intimidating to be in the presence of so many great athletes.

It's not a case. The woman's a stone faced liar.

It's okay.

It's over.

It's round and has three holes, and you stick your fingers into it.

It's time to go home now.

It's time to go home.

It's tough out there, all right?

It's your calling, son.

Jonathan, run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line.

Just because you spend most of your time in a missionary position...

Just drop it. Right now, the only future I have...

Just has to face the music.

Just like DiMaggio is to baseball...

Just like I say

Keep 'em coming, sweets. I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you?

Kentucky!

Leading by nine pins, Roy Munson, shooting first on the right lane.

Let me give you some advice. Stay away from this guy.

Let me see that hand.

Let's get ready to bowl!

Let's go find McCracken.

Let's go find that kid.

Let's go. That's it.

Let's not talk about that. I pulled out of her really early on that one.

Let's play another game.

Let's start the tournament!

Let's try, really try. How about it?

Like I told you, we Amish do everything half again as hard as you do.

Like the kid back there. Look how...

Listen, you stupid banana head. You don't have to bet. I'll bet for you.

Listen.

Little bad luck, like you had here today...

Look at Big Ern. Calls her back.

Look at Ernie McCracken. A guy like Big Ern, with his panache and style...

Look at that form. That left arm way out is an unusual style.

Look at you. Coochie, coochie.

Look, if you really want to end this, we'll drop you off wherever you want.

Look, just calm down, all right? Take it easy. Calm.

Look, Mr. Munster.

Look, we both made mistakes.

Look. My grandfather took me bowling when I was a kid.

Lots of cream.

Lucas. You know better than that. We're waiting on your brother...

Make it extra large, two sugars, lots of cream.

Maybe the bad kids around here.

Maybe they'll bring us a messenger.

Maybe you can get this old piece of crap working...

Me. If I get drunk, fall down and hurt myself, I might lose. Sure, babe.

Mommy!

Morning, Mike.

Morning! I hope you don't mind. I got up a little early...

Munson answers right back in Big Ern's face.

Munson, Roy E.

Must be tough when you're spanking your monkey.

My grandpa always taught me to bowl 15 frames.

My old corner store

Nasty cheese grating accident as a young man.

Never mind.

Never saw a man pick his nose with a hook before.

Nice. Is that solid gold?

Nine out of ten times, I'd be running the other direction.

No matter what?

No way. There's no way I can bet.

No, before that.

No, can't go home.

No, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot.

No, not for $700. What have you got here?

No, not if you don't want to.

No, please, sir! Please!

No, sir, please! I'll do anything! Anything! Please!

No, sir. I think it's best that you go.

No, son.

No, thanks.

No, there was the '80s.

No. Don't get Claudia. I'll explain it all later.

No. The ring, not the hand.

No. These guys were good looking.

None that I know of.

Nothing can make me stray.

Nothing.

Notice how carefully he places it in the prosthetic hand.

Now if Roy can pick up one final strike...

Now it's getting interesting, huh?

Now it's like you and Claudia.

Now pull the car over. Let me out of here.

Now stop it!

Now that's hot.

Now, Mr. Big Shot, Mr. "I wear my pants high and pick up every spare...

Number one: Forget about this bowling business and get yourself a real job.

Of if you get in a pinch, maybe you'll get a couple of bucks for it.

Of the $1 Million Winner Take All Silver Legacy Reno Open.

Oh, and give me a box of Marlboros.

Oh, creepy!

Oh, girl, you still got your great stuff.

Oh, God! I just said "twisting your arm" to Munson. I can't wait to tell people...

Oh, I'm his type. I'm every guy's type.

Oh, it has a winder?

Oh, Mr. Munson. Whoa!

Oh, my God. Claudia?

Oh, my God. He has done it.

Oh, my little Roy toy.

Oh, please! I can't look!

Oh, right.

Oh, Roy! I didn't expect to see you so soon.

Oh, stop it. It wasn't that bad.

Oh, thanks, Miss Tabitha.

Oh, that's cool.

Oh, top of the morning to you. I'm Hezakiah Munson.

Oh, wow. That's really something. What's that made out of?

Oh, you care about the kid, huh?

Oh, you know, about the rent...

Okay, here we go. Two number 64s...

Okay, Miss Rebecca. Bye.

Okay, Miss Rebecca. Bye.

Okay, Pa.

Okay, Roy. Come on. I want to see some smoke on this one.

Okay, two vices.

Okay, you scumbags. Now turn around and face the wall.

Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, hey?

Okay?

Okay? Stay focused.

Okay.

Okay. All right. I mean...

Okay. Here we go. Come on! Do it to me!

Okay. It's broke.

Okay. Keep your shirt on.

One ball, one strike...

One day, when people say the name "Munson," they're gonna think "winner. "

One more.

One strike down, two to go. You can cut this pressure with a knife.

Or "Unitas" is to football.

Or miss it!

Our troubles are over!

Pa! His bed's made, but he isn't in there. He must have left.

Please enjoy your stay here at our fabulous facility, and remember...

Please meet our friend...

Please rise for the National Anthem.

Poor guy.

Pretty good? 186.

Promise me that you'll be careful when you're out among the English.

Prosthetics R Us, aisle six. Right next to the glass eyeballs.

Pull it over.

Pull the car over. I want to get out of here.

Pump and dump.

Pussy.

Put it in the record books: 226 to 225.

Really? Looks like rubber.

Remember me?

Right away.

Roy looks a little nervous. It is his first final in nearly 20 years.

Roy Munson has the most intimidating hook in all of bowling. Literally.

Roy Munson is now forced to sit and watch.

Roy Munson, a man child...

Roy Munson, the 1979 Iowa State Amateur Champion...

Roy Munson.

Rubber Man takes the ball from his good left hand.

Say, buddy, you gonna buy the beers or the whole place?

Seeing as how Claudia has been so kind...

Seeing as you don't have anymore money.

Seriously.

She called that bastard, McCracken, 14 times in the last three days.

She could join us till she gets back on her feet.

She said "hand some," not "hand less. "

She was just teaching me to dance. I didn't know how to dance.

She's hot.

Shit!

Show up at a couple trade shows and pharmacies...

Slim and none... and slim may have just left town.

Slow down. You're going to get us all killed.

Snap it. Pull that string. All right.

So I did good, huh?

So I took the liberty of milking your cow.

So I took the liberty of milking your cow.

So if I were you, I would start doing some tongue exercises before Friday.

So this is rock and roll.

So you could steal him.

So you don't get hurt again.

So, Roy, let me ask you. What have you been doing all these years?

So, Steve, what do you say we bowl a couple of games?

So, you two are dictionary salesmen.

Some lucky fan has a souvenir.

Someone put sugar in your tank.

Someone who will be a loyal friend and never, ever...

Someone who will stick by your side through thick and thin?

Something doesn't seem right.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, Mr. McCracken's already there.

Son of a bitch, you're going in my soup.

Son, you put that in a bottle, you got something sweeter than Yoo Hoo.

Sorry, Pa. I was out in the cornfield...

Sorry.

Sorry. Thanks for coming.

Spare me the indignant routine, all right?

Speak of the devil, and he appears. I'm gonna play the jukebox.

Steve?

Stop that!

Sure thing.

Sweeter than Yoo Hoo.

Take a look at the focus on Roy's face. He is ready for this match.

Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn!

Take the horse's shoes off. Ishmael will be right back.

Tanqueray and Tab.

Tell my parents that God spoke to me to go on a mission with Brother Munson.

Ten frames? That's for Quakers.

Than lose face in front of my friends.

Than the good people at the American tobacco industry?

Thank you.

Thanks for everything.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

That girl couldn't have more than 6 or 7 children.

That I can buy my way out of anything.

That I haven't thought about what I'd say to you if I ever ran into you again.

That if you give a little, you can get back...

That name.

That was a brave thing you did.

That was really heroic.

That will be 100 now, you prick!

That will come out.

That's a landau roof and power steering down the drain.

That's all been taken care of by Brother Roy and Sister Claudia.

That's great.

That's kind of embarrassing, in front of an audience like this.

That's not supposed to happen! You're carrying a 270 average!

That's right. From the crap table.

That's something.

That's still very good.

That's the way!

That's two. There's two. His second.

That's what "Munson" will be to bowling.

That's why even we veteran bowlers work our way, tournament to tournament.

The army evacuated everybody.

The best bowlers in the country are going to be there.

The children? I wanted to help with the barn.

The community's in trouble. They're threatening to foreclose on the land.

The dreaded 7 10 split.

The fans in Reno have started calling him the Rubber Man...

The first prize is $1 million.

The great Stanley got beaten by the farm boy on his own track.

The last 17 years, a day hasn't gone by...

The late nights, the lying...

The Munson.

The name's Munson. What I'm doing is flossing. This is called floss.

The name's not "boy. " It's Roy.

The National Bowling Stadium, with the Silver Legacy Hotel and Casino...

The Silver Legacy is the talk of the strip with our 22 topping potato bar.

The tour can be very difficult, very expensive.

The trees that I'd known

The world can kick your ass.

Their 64 is supposed to be the best in the city.

There must be some way I can work this off... make it up to you.

There's a storm on the horizon.

There's a tournament in Reno, Nevada, in a few weeks.

There's no question farmer boy's a fine bowler, but competing under pressure?

There's no way to slide the 10 pin into the 7 and vice versa.

They are?

They came to tell us the truth about your trip.

They expect me to come home with my tail between my legs, but I won't do it.

They live here. They die here. They get their mail here.

They put $500,000 in the bank.

They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs.

They tell you everything?

They want to hear about the missionary work you did with Brother Munson.

They want to hear about the missionary work you did with Brother Munson.

They'll forgive you.

They'll probably forgive me.

They're not worth it. They're a couple of losers.

This feels weird. Are you sure this is legal?

This is a Gran Torino looking at you.

This is just my bonus. I had a good month.

This is silly. You've only been gone a couple of days.

This lap dancing's so much fun, I feel like I should be the one paying you.

This man's gonna win many political offices when his career is over.

This million dollar championship match has reached the 10th frame.

This punk shattered my monthly record.

This shift just flew by.

Thomas can raise a barn...

Those are fun even when you're alone.

Those guys are bugging me anyway.

Through the Unified Fund, I found out...

To come in from the fields.

To have the world in the palm of your hand and then blow it.

To save that town of yours.

To us, I thought maybe...

To your daily life...

Took some doing, but I finally got them off.

Tough luck.

Trailing by 29 pins, he needs three consecutive strikes...

Treasure these special times.

Trojan condoms. You know, Rubber Man.

Try moving a couple of boards to the left.

Twice.

Two more for my young friend here.

Uh, deeper, Jonathan.

Unbelievable! You disgrace my home...

Uncle Willee's Snake Farm.

Virtually impossible to convert.

Wait a minute. I'm going to bet?

Wait up.

Wait up. I want to talk to you.

Wait. Whoa. Hey, calm down.

Want to make more money?

Was I talking out loud?

Was I?

Was. Iowa, '79. Name's Roy Munson.

Watch the door. Hey, pinhead, juice the tires for me, will you? Today?

We appreciate your help with your boyfriend and everything, but...

We appreciate your help with your boyfriend and everything, but...

We both had a rotten run of it for awhile.

We can just take off right now.

We can split it three ways.

We can't lose. It's the centurion's faith that wins him divine favor.

We didn't get a chance to finish talking.

We do whatever you people do plus a half. That's how we survive.

We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore.

We don't have a cow.

We don't raise our hands in anger against others.

We doubled it.

We have a bull.

We have a problem here.

We need the supplemental income.

We split everything right down the middle.

We... I'm unable to have children.

We'll do what we set out to do. We'll win that tournament.

We're all out.

We're going to drill you another asshole!

We're not getting much mercy here tonight.

We've just received a PhD in stupidity. Doctor, shall we?

Welcome to my church.

Welcome to the club.

Well, if you want to buy some, help yourself.

Well, it's about time you learned.

Well, it's against it.

Well, look at that. A little ladybug.

Well, look, I've got a little proposition for you.

Well, naive.

Well, we do!

Well, what do you call that in the cooler?

Well, when there's things to do

Well, your old man would be proud.

Well...

What 50? We said 25.

What about the bank and the foreclosure?

What about...

What are you doing? I'll pay you back, I swear to God!

What are you two doing here?

What can I say? Good game. My hat's off to you.

What did I just say?

What did I tell you?

What did that fat ass model do with my lottery ticket?

What did you say?

What do you expect? I mean, you guys with your 10 frames.

What do you expect? I mean, you guys with your 10 frames.

What do you mean, "10 frames"?

What do you mean, "10 frames"?

What do you say we play a couple of games?

What do you sell?

What do you think about new beginnings?

What do you think cigarettes are?

What do you want to risk? You have everything going for you.

What happened to McCracken?

What I mean to say is I was...

What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap?

What is that? The feminine hygiene spray?

What kind do you want?

What the hell is your relationship to him?

What time are the tours to your boyhood home?

What, I got a boog hanging?

What?

What?

What?

What's so funny?

What's taken you so long to come back?

What's the matter?

What's the story behind this paternity suit against you?

What's the sugar for, Mr. McCracken?

What's the worst that could happen?

What's there to mull over?

What's this?

What's wrong with you?

What's your hurry? We're just getting acquainted.

Whatcha doin'?

Whatever.

When Big Ern saw us in the paper, he got involved with the Unified Fund.

When I found out Billy was growing up without a daddy, I had to do something.

When I stop and think about it all...

When you run for love

Where are those girls? Get those girls over here. Yeah, there was pressure.

Where do I keep getting "Munson" from?

Where do you get something like that?

Where ESPN is set to bring you final round coverage...

Where is he?

Where'd he go?

Where'd I get Munson from?

Where's the milk for the coffee?

Where's your newspaper? I got to take a dump.

Who are you calling a psycho?

Who is the biggest threat to you in the tournament?

Why are you late this time, Ishmael?

Why couldn't this have worked out?

Why did you come here?

Why don't you get the hell out of here? You ruined my life!

Why don't you tell us all what it says?

Why would a bowler need a manager?

Why, are you buying?

Why, you no good son of a bitch!

Winner Take All...

Winner!

With a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken.

With my help, I think you can beat them. You hear me?

With that spare, he's not slammed the door on Big Ern...

With your talent and my knowledge, you could be a champion.

Would like to welcome everyone to the $1 Million...

Would you be interested in some extra income?

Would you be willing to hold on to this till after the tournament?

Would you look at that!

Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?

Wow! Look at that!

Wow.

Wow.

Wow. State champion.

Wow. Take a look at that.

Yeah, he was here. I offered him a job, a good job.

Yeah, I'll take a couple of jugs... mugs.

Yeah, right. Overshot. All right.

Yeah, son, he's told us everything.

Yeah, the bag's fine.

Yeah, this is Buttercup, the biggest, strongest horse in the county.

Yeah, well, I've got stake money... 500 bucks.

Yeah, well, thank you, young lovely...

Yeah, well, too late.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah? And who are you? Alfred Einstein?

Yeah? That 41 doesn't look bad.

Yeah? You shouldn't have hit me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A big military train derailed...

Yeah. A lot of drinking.

Yeah. From the crap table.

Yeah. I wound it.

Yeah. It is great.

Yeah. Well, uh...

Yep.

Yes, Roy told us everything.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! I knew...

Yo, Steve arino.

You all right?

You and me, starting over.

You are a hero.

You are going to give me $100,000 on the line...

You are history. I am calling the cops!

You are such a loser.

You bald bastard, I'll gouge your eyes out, you son of a...

You been planning on taking him from me and leaving me. I just beat you to it.

You betcha.

You burned me, you bastard!

You can apply everything that I've taught you about bowling...

You can help after lunch. Go ahead.

You can win that tournament.

You can't have it both ways.

You cleared that up when you rubbed Tabasco in his eyes.

You could lose a little off the backswing, but you're not bad.

You could tell all that from seeing me throw one strike?

You crazy bastard! How the hell did you get in here?

You crazy or something? Come here!

You don't deserve a car!

You don't have enough money to get to Reno.

You dumped us when we needed you the most. You tricked us.

You get hurt over and over again, you stop trusting people...

You get that way from ginger ale?

You get warmed up. I'll grab us a cup of coffee.

You got a great gift, son.

You got a lot of courage. I don't think I could call my mommy and daddy...

You got it working.

You got something special.

You got the bag, right?

You got time for a game before supper?

You guys have to forgive me.

You guys!

You have a monkey?

You have every right to be angry, okay? Just take a deep breath.

You haven't paid them since 1979.

You just shut up, mister! I don't know who you think you are...

You know that old centurion's faith thing...

You know what I wished for?

You know, for a while, I...

You know, for the first couple years...

You know, I didn't realize it, but we're near where I grew up.

You know, Ish, I'm starting to feel like a winner again.

You know, it's been...

You know, Roy Munson has two chances to win this tournament now...

You know, Stanley...

You know. Munsoned. To be up a creek without a paddle.

You leave Rebecca out of this!

You left us flat.

You look good. Real sharp.

You look like you want to hit me.

You look.

You looking for a little friendly action?

You lost me. What?

You lost to a club player!

You must be a smooth talker.

You must have a really wide foot. You got both of them.

You okay?

You okay?

You okay?

You pay me the money whenever you get it because I know you are good for it.

You people work 8 hour days. We work 12.

You piece of garbage!

You probably blame McCracken for screwing that up.

You really jarred something loose, tiger.

You really should try to quit.

You said I was the best prospect you'd ever seen.

You said you could make me a champion.

You saying you want me to dance?

You see, bowling for money... that's my only vice.

You should make a wish.

You shouldn't have quit me.

You state champion?

You stroke a hell of a ball...

You suck!

You suck!

You think that guy took it?

You think that hurt?

You trying to pick up my woman?

You two know each other?

You wait and see what I do to your two friends.

You want some of the action?

You want to blow the whole thing?

You want to dance?

You want to kiss somebody, Goldilocks? Kiss these!

You were a champion the minute I saw you bowl.

You were so cool. Any pressure?

You were testing me?

You would be punctilious in assuming that.

You wouldn't happen to have a Phillips head screwdriver, would you?

You wouldn't stand a chance against those guys.

You!

You'll pick up that spare the same day my hair starts falling out.

You're a bona fide schmuck. Look at me!

You're a champion, and that never goes away.

You're going to find your nose sniffing my big Amish ass!

You're gonna be a good man.

You're gonna be moral...

You're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.

You're not taking a crap in the sink, are you?

You're only going to make trouble for me.

You're the best, Mr. Munson.

You're the greatest.

You're trying to move in on my squirrel.

You're wasting your time. He's from way out in Brimfield.

You've been rubbing your tits in that kid's face since we met...

You've got as powerful a stroke as I've ever seen.

You've just shattered my record. What do you want to lose it for?

Young bowler like yourself...

Your act is about as fresh as a Foghat concert.

Your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag...

Your buddy tells me you're the best salesman in the whole company.

Your dues are in arrears.

14 karat gold.

17 years since I showed my face around here.

40 ish, stocky, sort of friendly?

84 grand.

Absolutely precious. Yeah.

Adorable. Thanks.

All right. Nice flip flop. Way to go.

Amateur or professional? Professional.

Business partners? Yeah.

Bye. Whoa! Hey, easy does it.

Come on up. Thanks.

Come on, buddy. Bowl. Yeah. I'm kind of nippy.

Come on, guys. We'll take that bet.

Come on. Don't do this.

Come on. There you are. Let's go.

Come on. Wait!

Don't you think? How the hell should I know?

Game, set, match, fellows. Yeah.

Gee, mister, I didn't know! Didn't know?

Give me it! Okay.

Give me the keys. Why?

Give me the pocketbook, lady. No!

Give us a break. Look at Big Ern.

He's Amish? No fooling you.

Here's your drink. Thanks, sugar.

Him and you? The two of you together? Why don't you quit slumming?

How should I know? She was with you. She stole my money!

I ain't going home. Look.

I don't have the paper. I need something to read.

I don't want to give her a coronary. I had to make it look real.

I got it in the nose. Here. Take it out of that.

I got the punk. Where's the door?

I got them! Get the lights!

I like it. Oh, God.

I think I can do it. That's the 6 7 10.

I'll drive you home. I don't want to go home!

I'm in 1103. Excuse me.

If you only knew. Geez, that's tough.

It's an emergency. We got to leave. But what are we...

It's my boyfriend, Skidmark. I'd like to meet him.

Just be quiet. Okay.

Let's get out of here. I can do this.

Look at this! Give me that handsome cheek!

Maybe 20 bucks a game? No!

Munson! Some people never learn.

Nice going, De Niro. It's "Steve. "

No if, ands or buts. Get moving. I'll go get Miss Claudia.

No! No way! Hey!

Nobody quits in the middle of a show! Sons of bitches!

Oh, Mr. Munson! What the hell? Get them!

Please bring him back home. I will, Father.

Quickens the aging process. Is that right?

She checked out already. She left with a couple of guys.

She'll be back. You're never going to see her again.

Shit. A huge cloud of shit?

Smoke? No.

So how about it? I don't know how to dance.

Sugar? That's impossible. Here! Sugar!

Supplemental income? Supplemental.

Sure thing. Well, no, not you.

Surely. Great.

Tell me you got the bag. Oh, yeah. Okay, relax.

Thank you. You're welcome. You... thank you.

That makes sense. Don't I feel like a fool?

That's right. Yeah, Roy.

That's the thanks I get? You didn't have to have beers with 'em.

The hand. Big Ern was responsible for that?

There's no way I'm going to bet. Hey, hey, Ish.

This is the hula hoop of the '90s. No!

What do we do? Sometimes a bowler...

What is that? It's a tattoo. Relax.

What the hell is that? What?

What? Don't give me that "What?" crap.

What's your name? Darlene.

Whatcha doin' in there? Barfing.

Why don't we just play for fun? Cut the bullshit.

Why not? It's a stimulant.

Wow. Right off the bat. Beautiful.

Yeah. You get it?

Yes! Nice action.

Yes. Rubber Man has gotten it done...

You and me, bud. What...

You bastard. Where the hell is she?

You go get 'em, son. I will.

You have no idea, the pressure... Time out!

You interested? Interested?

You're in deep shit, kid. I don't know what I'm doing here.

You're not gonna bowl drunk again. I insist.

'cause this is probably your last meal...

" Jeffersons On Ice"! Look at that. I love Sherman Helmsley!

"A good month. "

"English bulldog, one testicle.

"I thought you were my friends. Good bye. Ishmael. "

"Munsoned"? What the hell is that?

"New and improved. " I read this already. You got any of that new Mentadent?

$1 million.

$1 million. One night. Cash.

$2,000! That's gonna wipe me out!

$350.

$500."

$800,000 on the line.