Overboard (1987) Edit

A countdown to the world's ten best luxury yachts.

A falsetto child?

A little bit lower. Yeah, lower.

A little girl.

A lot of stuff still left in boxes from the move...

A pretty decent face too... She's too rich for my blood.

A small strawberry like birthmark.

A thing which cannot possibly be measured...

About my money. Money! I have lots of money!

Actually, I really don't see the harm in accommodating her wishes, Andrew.

Ain't that a shame I know I was to blame

All of you children are new in this school.

All right, now that's it. Are you satisfied?

All right. Good morning, Grant.

All right. Good night, honey.

All together, and lick.

All we need is a couple of contraptions you can knock golf balls through.

Alone, guys.

And 68th streets.

And a breakfast of extremely runny eggs over easy.

And another Oregon good mornin' to ya.

And being reared by a father who clearly isn't concerned about their welfare...

And chop off the protruding parts of your body.

And every time you see the spray goin' up, it's them.

And her rich life, and that's the end of it.

And here we are at the old magic room.

And how you handle the kids and all that.

And I don't belong with them.

And I don't belong with you.

And I need drawers for my lingerie.

And I think that they're bright and sensitive.

And I'm not goin' anywhere...

And I've looked forward to each and every call.

And I've never even once said thank you.

And it should burst in your mouth at precisely the right moment.

And it's possible that we lost...

And my children may be rotten, but they're mine.

And my husband may be a large child, but that's none of your business.

And not this $1.99 fish bait?

And not very convincingly.

And now it is entirely clear to me why I've chosen to block it out!

And poof, my memory came back.

And telling a passenger you love them, sir.

And these are your children, and you made me...

And they'd be on their way.

And when he came back, he'd signal with three long blasts, just like you heard.

And you are a genius.

And you can sit here and smugly lecture me on the importance of tests?

And you tell me this is nothing?

And you.

And...

Andrew will keep an eye on you.

Andrew, are you going to bring me my lemon...

Andrew, go get Dr. Korman. Go! Get out of my way, Karl.

Andrew, I'm sitting.

Andrew, when I tell you to pack staples...

Annie, I need to talk to you.

Annie, I'm sorry.

Annie, I've done something...

Annie, it just started out...

Annie, please.

Annie!

Another man overboard!

Another Oregon good morning to ya.

Anybody home? Hello?

Anywhere in existence?

Apology accepted, ma'am.

Are you aware that Joey can't read and that Travis only reads smut magazines?

Are you gonna leave?

Arturo panicked and he called out, Katerina! Katerina!

As of now, I have a life history of a dirty garbage scow...

As you wish.

Ask me anything. Ask me about my childhood in New York.

At least make a pretense of separating himself from the apes.

Aw, shit, I'm sorry. Let me get that.

Baby doll!

Baby, the couch.

Baby, we like you.

Bad dogs! Go away!

Because I'm so ugly.

Because one would think that you would know that closets are made of cedar.

Because that Elk Snout mountain man is still working on my closet.

Believe that...

Besides, we're buildin' these things in America.

Bill Bailey won't you please come on home

Billy, remember in high school how you faked our I.D. S? I need a fake bride.

Billy, there is a God, and He loves me.

Bobby, can we roll that tape now, please?

Buster! Jackson! Get back inside!

But I wouldn't mind eatin' one every once in a while.

But I'll tell you something, I'm gonna have some fun with her tonight.

But if you want one out of cedar, that's fine. I'll start all over.

But is himself just a large child.

But it happens to be 12 sizes too large.

But l... No. Not really.

But not before he told Katerina he'd be back for her.

But now you, madam, on the other hand have had...

But she does have...

But the problem was that Katerina's father was the territorial governor.

But what? My children are in need of medical assistance.

But, in any event, there she is, and this is what she looks like.

But, of course.

By the Elk Cove garbage scow shortly after midnight.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Mom. You're doin' a great job.

Call me all the names you want, but many women adore me.

Came out fightin' and still at it.

Can you draw me some pictures tonight so I can see what you're talkin' about?

Cannot sit in this cesspool by the sea with nothing to do.

Captain Karl, go below. I'm taking over and bringing this ship about.

Captain Karl, start up the engine.

Captain Karl, why is the land on the wrong side of the yacht?

Caviar should be round and hard and of adequate size.

Champagne, madam.

Change of watch. Gotta go. Let's go.

Chocolate cake's a little bit rich, too...

Cigarette, darling?

Clear a space.

Come along now. Sit, sit, sit.

Come back here.

Come in, Immaculata.

Come on, Buster. Come on, Jackson.

Come on, dear.

Come on, guys! Go get her!

Come on, guys! Let us sleep for a while!

Come on, guys. Move it.

Come on, honey. Save the jokes. We're starvin' here.

Come on, honey. You gotta know. You were in the navy!

Come on, huh?

Come on, Jackson. Come on.

Come on, now. Nobody cares what you look like.

Come on.

Come on. I've had it.

Consider themselves above taking the Schwartzman Heinliken tests.

Conspiring with the enemy at sea is mutiny!

Dad lets us do whatever we want.

Dad, are you and Uncle Billy really gonna open up a miniature golf course?

Dad, they're makin' me drink blood!

Dad, will you trade her in for a new one?

Damn right.

Darling, if you have a baby, you won't be the baby anymore.

Dean doesn't want you to tell Gert so he's coverin' for me.

Dean, I love you! I'll never leave you again!

Dean, I'm coming!

Dean! Dean, it's okay!

Did he strike you? Did he make you do something you didn't want to?

Dinner! Dinner!

Dinner! Dinner!

Discipline problem?

Do we or do we not possess these things?

Do you have the gall to tell me that I've missed her again?

Do you love her?

Do you mean to tell me there's not one piece...

Do you think she'll figure out we're tricking her and leave?

Do you want to know what I was doing? I'll tell you, dittums.

Do you?

Doc, we got a winner.

Dock five. The Immaculata?

Doesn't matter what you do. I'm getting off at the next port.

Don't be like that.

Don't be ridiculous. Nobody leaves a Stayton.

Don't come to your truck.

Don't forget Little Joe.

Don't get near your eyes. Read on.

Don't tell her what I told you to tell her. Just tell her the truth.

Don't tell her what I told you to tell her. Just tell her the truth.

Don't throw that!

Don't touch that!

Don't walk so close to me.

Don't worry about the cost. It's your birthday.

Don't you think there'd be some spark of recognition?

Down!

Dr. Korman knows you so well, dear, and he only wants to help.

Dr. Korman, Grant's having another nervous breakdown.

Dr. Korman, please.

Dr. Korman, will she ever again be the debutante I raised?

Earlier today, one man arrived on the scene to make an identification.

Ease up there, love chop. Just ease up.

Ease up? Ease up?

Easy. The pheasant don't play miniature golf.

Eighteen holes of miniature golf based on famous breweries.

Either from the bump into the garbage scow or the shock of the cold water.

Eleven pounds, five ounces. Come on, honey.

Eventually, they fell in love.

Ever since I walked through that door, I have cooked, cleaned...

Every time with you is like the first time.

Everybody in the place panicked, including me, except for you.

Everybody, play ball!

Everyone thinks I'm crazy around here. Do you think they're right?

Everyone wants to be me.

Everything slants down here toward the bedroom.

Excuse me. Could you tell me where your wife might be?

Excuse me. You can't say that on television.

Feathers!

Feel better?

Figure little wifey pooh can work off what she owes me...

Find them.

Fine. You can joke all you want, but I am serious about this.

Fire, fire, fire!

Fish heads, shrimp skins, crab claws, earthworm droppings...

For $6,800 a cruise, you can stow away...

For being Bad Billy Pratt by accident.

For whatever it's worth...

Garbage I do for money. For love, I sing.

Gee, I guess... I don't smell anything.

Gee, Mom, we really missed you.

Get that thing out of my face.

Get those kids out of the rescue boat. Let's go! Let's go!

Get to the point, Annie. I got things to do. The guys are waiting.

Give it a try. What's his name?

Go ahead. Ask me if we got the money.

God, I forgot your birthday.

God, what a mess.

Goddamn it! You'd never seen her before in your lives!

Good evening, madam.

Good night, Annie.

Good night.

Good stuff.

Good.

Good. All right.

Got to fix the kids' lunches, or they're gonna miss their bus for school.

Grand Canyon. Hey, everybody'll love that. Egyptian pyramids.

Grant mentioned having a baby again.

Grant, I left my wedding ring on the deck.

Grant, we are not interested in your therapy.

Guys, we gotta talk. This is serious.

Halt, you treasonous tramp!

Has it escaped your attention these children have head to toe poison oak?

Have a good day at school, honey.

Have you ever been nervous in your life?

He called you a what?

He could be some stranger off the street.

He didn't want his only little girl runnin' around with a lowly fisherman.

He had to go out.

He looks downfield. He throws it!

He seems to like you, and he's a nice guy.

He thinks he's God. Keep him busy.

He threw potato salad all over my mom. We had to throw him out.

He told Arturo he'd have to ship off, which he did...

He was staring at me with his mouth open all through dinner.

He's been hanging on every word we've been saying for the last two days.

He's here!

He's here.

He's leaving!

He's sweating all over the place.

He's the actor in the family. Then we got the big guy.

Hello.

Help! He has my hand!

Help! Help!

Help! My body!

Here's some personal effects you might recognize.

Here's where we have breakfast every morning. Let's go upstairs to the attic.

Hey, a dirty magazine.

Hey, Annie!

Hey, baby doll?

Hey, guys, easy, huh? Come on!

Hey, guys, get the turtle out of the bathtub.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, guys.

Hey, I decided a long time before you and me...

Hey, I understand.

Hey, I'm sorry. I understand now.

Hey, Joe. Come on, guys. No more jokes on Mom today, huh?

Hey, lady, I may be hard up, but I am definitely not that hard up.

Hey, she's been in there an hour. What did you guys get her?

Hey, Trav! Don't knock her up!

Hey. Fiberglass. Perfect!

Hi, Grant. I just have to put these in some water.

Hi, Mom. My name's Joe.

Honey, Billy was your high school boyfriend.

Honey, I was sure you'd remember them.

Honey, sit down. Everything's gonna be okay now.

Honey, would you hand me a towel there?

Honey... Forget it.

How can you have your period every week?

How could you be such a slime?

How could you do that?

How did you know that?

How do you spell Porsche?

How long are you gonna keep her?

How old am I?

How temporary is it?

I admit I have forgotten numerous things.

I am giving my notice, sir.

I am your husband. My name is Dean Proffitt.

I appreciate it. Billy, I need a steady job. What about that nighttime thing?

I believe their problems exist because of deficient parental guidance.

I came here to welcome your family.

I can get a divorce if I want to. I don't need your permission.

I can remember again.

I can't believe it. He's skippin' out on her.

I can't believe she doesn't know her own husband.

I can't believe you did it.

I can't believe you gave all that up just for me.

I can't do any of these vile things, and I wouldn't want to.

I can't stop itching!

I can't talk to you while you're turned away from me.

I cannot, I repeat...

I demand you do something! Do you hear me?

I did get carried away with the hose, but this is important.

I didn't believe him, but I saw you, I walked into the house...

I didn't marry very well, did I?

I don't believe you. If you do not produce Joanna...

I don't belong here. I feel it.

I don't care if they don't go to school.

I don't even have a wedding ring.

I don't have a backseat in my truck so I used yours.

I don't have my prescription. Oh, here, take one of mine.

I don't know how you put up with me for so long.

I don't know what these are.

I don't know who I am, but I'm sure I have a lawyer.

I don't like to talk about this in public, and I've never told anybody.

I don't love you anymore, Grant. Please try and understand that.

I don't mean I wear it or anything. It belongs to a girlfriend of mine.

I don't recognize this man.

I don't smoke, Mother. Do I?

I don't want to. The teacher's a big fat tub.

I doubt if he's even housebroke.

I earn the money. That's my grownup responsibility.

I feel as if I've never done this before in my life.

I feel faint.

I feel like the goddamn Brady Bunch.

I found one that accepted personal checks.

I got a bulletin here from the eyewitness on the spot, KRAB newsroom.

I got an idea for a shoe rack right in here maybe, huh?

I got everything under control. Don't worry.

I got it.

I got lucky with this phone sex girl.

I got news for you, lady. No job will ever be done to your satisfaction.

I got poison oak too.

I got some pictures. We were gonna send them over the AP wire.

I got the part of Tiny Tim in the school play.

I got two fire extinguishers ready to go.

I gotta go put on a suit. Gertie's picking me up.

I gotta tell Annie the truth.

I guess I'm supposed to walk around...

I guess it's kind of tough to serve with your hands stuck to plates.

I guess we better work on it.

I guess we're gonna have to send out the old ball and chain to buy more, huh?

I guess you probably...

I had my nervous breakdown, and I didn't have therapy.

I have had baby sitters in here by the dozen.

I have lots and lots of them.

I have to get my things.

I have to stop the boat. My husband's a little crazy.

I hope I don't get court martialed for this, Pratt.

I hunt it. You cook it.

I just ate a bug.

I just did. I didn't get the reputation...

I just have to tell you, that's going to more than double my estimate.

I just moved up to this area and...

I just wanna see who's in the top ten yachts.

I know it will cost me, but it's the cutest little painting.

I know it.

I know what you mean. I understand.

I know. I have had difficulties myself.

I lent the station wagon to Gertie, so we have to take the truck.

I look like a bushman.

I looked up Dean, seeing as we used to play high school football together.

I lost all my tools.

I love all my starlets. What were your names again?

I love it.

I love L.A.

I love the sound of the ocean.

I love you madly though you treat me badly

I love you, Annie. I want you to be with me always.

I loved it when you glued Joey to the toilet seat.

I loved it when you glued Joey to the toilet seat.

I mean, we do like the way you look.

I mean, you'll have your daughter soon. Bye.

I must've learned that in Paris.

I need new shoe racks for my shoes.

I need some proof.

I never had therapy!

I really don't have anything to say, except that...

I really shouldn't, but maybe just one more...

I remember.

I saw some potato chips around the corner here. Could I just...

I see that, Amanda.

I see the pagodas caught your eye.

I simply must have it. You'll do the bidding for me at the auction?

I speak French!

I suppose I belong here in this hovel.

I suppose we're heading back to the jungles of Oregon.

I think that if you'll look at these pictures you'll begin to feel...

I think they housebreak each other, don't they?

I think we can take Olaf.

I think what I thought yesterday. It's a lousy idea.

I think you'd better get used to it.

I think you're doing great.

I think.

I thought you might be hungry.

I thought you'd think it was a better idea today, being sober.

I understand she's not the nicest person in the world.

I want my wife back.

I want to tell you something.

I want you to do me a favor.

I want you to do what the doctor said. Put it right on the red parts.

I want you to stop everything, go on in here, take a bath.

I want you to take them shopping at the Salvation Army.

I want you to tell her too.

I was beginning to wonder if a woman like that had a husband.

I was just kidding.

I was prepared to sue you.

I was really proud of you. I mean it.

I was short and fat?

I was sittin' on a mountaintop

I was thinking about it at work. What we need is a theme for this golf course.

I was whacking the donkey with painted ladies. They love me.

I'll always wear it.

I'll believe it when I see it. Good day, Mr. Proffitt.

I'll bet you did. What else you got in here?

I'll clean him tonight. Sweetie, I'll be ready in a second.

I'll do it, but if we get caught, it's your ass.

I'll get the burn ointment. You'll be all right.

I'll get you for this, you...

I'll loan you some tools. We'll get you some part time work, right?

I'll look these over as soon as I finish with this woman.

I'll never let you go. You're my Annie and you always will be.

I'll pay the rent I know I done you wrong

I'll see you later in the cafeteria.

I'll stay an extra few days, yes.

I'm a good father!

I'm a little drunk tonight, baby, so it might take me a while to get there.

I'm a short, fat slut.

I'm a slut.

I'm cured.

I'm glad this happened.

I'm gonna look for the pictures first thing in the morning, okay?

I'm gonna need some verification.

I'm gonna need some verification.

I'm gonna rid myself of this albatross once and for all.

I'm itchy, and I wanna go home!

I'm Joanna Stayton.

I'm kind of low on cash right now.

I'm new in town, but if I get a chance, I'll hire a housekeeper, all right?

I'm not bored. I'm quite happy.

I'm not going back in the water barrel.

I'm not gonna tell you she doesn't have a great body, but that's, you know...

I'm off to work.

I'm proud of you no matter what you do.

I'm puttin' you in the bedroom. I'll take the couch.

I'm shooting skeet!

I'm so virile. I'm so rich.

I'm sorry I came down on you so hard before.

I'm sorry to interrupt the movie, but we got excitement in Tillamook County.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. What are the Schwartzman Heinliken tests?

I'm sure I'm just premenstrual.

I'm sure you've got a million questions.

I'm working on it. Pretty soon we'll get that miniature golf course deal.

I've already done this out of oak, so I'm gonna have to go...

I've already sent for a carpenter.

I've behaved so badly.

I've finished, madam. Would you like me to put your jewelry back on you?

I've never smoked. I get sick when I smoke.

I've raised your children. I bore your fruit four times...

I've still got some of those postcards you sent me from Okinawa.

I've waited on you, your dogs, your kids and your friends...

If any of you know the identity of this woman, please contact the hospital.

If I ever get you, lady, you're dead meat! You got that?

If it were up to us, we'd be glad to give her to you, but she's right.

If that's my mother in law, tell her I'm not here.

If we don't get it, so what? We've been through rougher times.

If you concentrate, I'm sure you can control those little bodies.

If you don't do something, I am going to notify the proper authorities.

If you're gonna treat me like that, I'm goin' home.

If you're lucky, we'll let you clean the truck.

In a little over a month.

In here.

In one week, I am going to hire a mass of mercenaries to hunt you down...

In the beginning it was okay because it was part of a gag.

In the hopes that I would remember some shred of my life...

In the middle we got the twins. That's Greg and Charlie here.

In this semiprivate room!

Inga. You don't shove the food down Shitake's throat.

Intelligence and potential.

Into the icy waters and they...

Is because the bed's too soft for you and that's why you sleep on the couch.

Is English your second language?

Is entirely up to you.

Is that you?

Isn't Dad gonna eat dinner with us tonight?

Isn't that what I've been explaining in some detail?

It is.

It isn't much, but we're trying to keep you posted as this story unfolds.

It just came out.

It never bothered you before. It's just the way it is.

It's a hell of a day at sea, sir!

It's a legend of Arturo...

It's a shoe rack with a twist. You ready?

It's an idea for the future.

It's got three choices. This time it's gonna go past the oil funnel...

It's kind of high up on her left cheek, and it's unique.

It's my wedding day. Why do I look so annoyed?

It's part of the initiation. Think about it.

It's strange, but...

It's the Wonders of the World miniature golf course.

It's your project, Joanna. You deal with it.

J.S. is you. These are yours, and we're not married.

Jim Dandy to the rescue

Joanna knows who she is.

Joanna, I want you tonight.

Joanna, what motivated you to rise and get the serving tray?

Joanna, why are you so upset?

Joanna...

Joey, sit!

Just to protect your own ass 'cause you faked a few pictures for me?

Katerina yelled back, Arturo! With that, he dove off the boat...

Keep your mouth closed. A lot of things flyin' around out here.

Keep your mouth shut for ten more minutes, collect the money and get out.

Kid puked up the fry and they named you Burger Boy employee of the month.

Kids, get in the car. Let's go.

Knowing only that one little station to which we were born.

Korman, my wife is insane. Do we have a straitjacket on board?

L... Who... Here.

Later. All right.

Least of all by anal compulsive Huns.

Leave me alone!

Let's clean up for an early dinner. I've got a lot of drawing to do.

Let's eat!

Let's forget for a moment that it's a rag.

Let's go clean up.

Let's see, 25 bucks a day, huh?

Lift your head. That's it.

Listen to me, medical people.

Listen, I've had poison oak a million times.

Look at me, Dad!

Look at this. Before you lost the weight. Can you believe it?

Look, I want you to read this. You see what it says?

Look!

Looks like the fun's over. Salmon poachers fishing in illegal waters.

Madam, you really should play a little hard to get.

Madam.

Man overboard is kissing woman overboard.

Man overboard!

Maybe we should go down to the hospital and see if we can get your money.

Maybe you got a small point there and I can't...

Maybe you'd like to take fingerprints before I get started.

Meet the boys at the bowling alley for a couple of beers.

Memora... what?

Miss Pitcannon tells me you don't want to take these tests.

Miss, do you know your name?

Mister? What was I doing out in the ocean?

More yes than no?

Most of us go through life with blinders on, madam...

Mother, why does Dr. Korman have to be here?

Move!

Mr. Stayton?

Mr. Tunatti, can you tell us what the mystery woman was like...

Mrs. Burbridge, I'm Annie Proffitt. What happened?

Mrs. Burbridge, would you come over here for a moment?

Mrs. Stayton has decided to leave me. Let's celebrate.

Must I specify that you are to pack good caviar...

Must you watch that thing incessantly?

My children are the spawn of hell, and you're the devil.

My darling Joanna.

My life is like death.

My mom's out there! Let me...

My name is not Annie.

My name is Travis.

My regards to Schwartzman and Heinliken.

My twin brother and I are best friends.

My wife Rose is down there with the captain of the garbage scow...

My, oh, my I got a wonderful slave

Nail polishing, toe polishing, rich bitch, sun tanning days!

Nice panties. Some initials here. She didn't know what they meant. J.S.

No fishin' boat's gonna catch a yacht, especially at that price.

No problem! Just pay me the 600 bucks you owe me and I'm gone!

No, I did it to protect your ass. You belong with her.

No, I don't know. I don't know any of this! And I don't know you!

No, I just need to tell you something. Here, sit down.

No, I never saw her before in my life.

No, I will try Portland for a limousine.

No, madam.

No, not there. Over in Goober, Idaho, but it's a nuclear waste dump now.

No, that's my question. I found them in the truck.

No, Travis. Sweet Trav.

No! Everything's wonderful!

No. I'm your mommy.

Nope, it's not my style. Of course, eating a whole cake isn't either.

Normally, you look real pretty.

Not if we don't blow it.

Not my tool belt!

Nothing? I give you the best years of my life.

Nothing's happening.

Now it's more like lies.

Now you can see how inadequate this all is.

Now, folks, here's an interview we taped earlier at the hospital.

Now, I refuse... refuse... to be incarcerated...

Now, Miss X...

Now, Mrs. Mintz.

Now, really, this is going too far.

Now, she's gone, guys. She hates me.

Oak? An oak closet?

Of course he's skippin' out on her. It's his shot at freedom.

Of course I know my name.

Of course I know my name.

Of course you smoke. You've always smoked.

Of photographic evidence of our life together...

Oh, boy. She is really somethin'.

Oh, for cryin'... You know what your problem is, huh?

Oh, God, I don't want to hear any more.

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, I figured you'd forget.

Oh, just some rotgut. Cheapest stuff they got.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my hair! Help!

Oh, thank you for bringing me here and making me a wife and a mother.

Oh, yeah, that's my little cookie cutter.

Oh! I'm coming!

Oh. Whoops. I lost my bottom.

Okay, I'll take it from here. Go on. Get upstairs.

Okay, let's see what we... Way to hustle, guys.

Okay, on the couch. Come on, guys. Don't blow it, huh?

Okay, they'll just be with you all day.

Okay, we'll talk about this later. You kids go to sleep.

Okay? Then we're going to clean up this room.

Okay. Come on.

One last toast to your birthday.

Only one.

Ooh, Dr. Death looks mad.

Ooh, what is this? Is this a present for me?

Otherwise, we get moths.

Our last place was a real dump.

Our new palace.

Our number ten pick is the Loch Lowman...

Out, if I can ever find my...

Out. I go out every night after dinner.

Over there.

Owned by the world's richest man, Ahknan...

Oysters? And a cold ocean at night? That doesn't sound like me.

Past the plastic band, into the kids' sand shovel...

Paul, dinner was wonderful.

People to shovel the stuff.

Perfect.

Placement tests. We find them very valuable in measuring...

Please, tell me everything. Be honest with me.

Pretty expensive panties.

Proffitt boys, come up here.

Pull!

Put a lot of miles on that mattress, huh?

Put that down! Good God, Joanna. We have servants for that.

Right.

Rover, go!

Roy?

Run by me and my family.

Scott Murphy, bring your invoice up to the front.

Scrapbooks, photographs.

Scrubbed, chopped wood.

Seattle. You used to hang out there every night when you were in the navy.

See how I know me? Oh, God, this is the happiest day of my life.

Seems a mystery woman was picked up...

Shake, lick, drink.

She could dive off the rocks into the water, swim out to the boat...

She cuts the crusts off the bread.

She didn't belong to you, either, but that didn't stop you.

She died three years ago.

She doesn't know who she is. You think she's gonna know who I am?

She doesn't take any of my shit, either. I need discipline.

She even recalled the session where I wrote this.

She has no recollection of who she is.

She just would have left sooner.

She made some remarks about my wife's hair which I didn't care for.

She might have no tits, but she has a nice ass.

She ripped the sucker's head off.

She thinks she's dealing with an idiot.

She went for a swim. We were really worried. I was up all night pacing.

She went this way. This way, guys. Gruesome Ghouls attack!

She wouldn't, because I bought these for her at a garage sale.

She'll be all right.

She's at the bottom of this mutiny.

She's been like that for an hour now.

She's got her rich husband back...

She's sleeping.

She's wearing an evening dress, sir.

She's...

Shit, woman, you're lucky I am housebroke.

Shit! Sound the horn. Coming about again, Chapowski.

Sit still!

Six pack?

So I hardly recognize the place myself.

So I have no doubts whatsoever about their intelligence.

So let's just take this thing one step at a time. First let's meet the boys.

So we'll just keep on tryin'.

So were thumbs.

So you gotta do what you normally do.

Somebody better be dead.

Something not horrible.

Something that will spark some wisp of a memory.

Something wrong?

Something's familiar.

Sometimes moms leave.

Sometimes you get pretty far from the shore, and that undertow... Well...

Somewhere between 64th...

Spaghetti O Surprise.

Spied a lady on a runaway horse

Stay away, you wolves!

Step up. Stroke it up there.

Stop boring me with your absurdities. What's it made of?

Stop calling me sugar lips. Call me Annie.

Stop staring at me.

Stop that boat immediately and let me get my mom!

Stop trying to cover for him. Let's just forget it.

Stop with the sex stories.

Stop!

Stop. The navy?

Suck.

Sugar lips, I think our guest needs another beer.

Surprise!

Tell me something about my life, about my past, please.

Tell me.

Tell my mother I'll call her!

Tests which exist to pigeonhole children's potential...

Thank you, Andrew.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. No boom boom.

Thanks for a lovely dinner!

Thanks for puttin' my clothes on the bed.

Thanks, honey.

Thanks.

That girl must have more than one phone.

That hurts!

That I'm ashamed of.

That little thing happens to be the number one cause of divorce.

That picked up the mystery lady.

That she couldn't find the boat.

That takes precedence over your friend's love life.

That they reunited at the bottom of the sea, right over there...

That you work nights at the fertilizer plant.

That's good. Thanks a lot.

That's good. That's good.

That's him!

That's my Annie. Annie, you want to come up here?

That's nice.

That's quite enough! Now, just get out.

That's right. This is me, and I'm standing in front of the closet.

That's something you like to do.

That's the way they signal they're coming home.

The bitch!

The boat, the money, everything... it's all mine.

The children are slovenly, incorrigible...

The doctor said my mind would come back suddenly and he was right.

The doctor says the best thing for you is to get back to your normal routine.

The entire civilized world knows that all closets are made of cedar.

The Fraga Feed and Fertilizer folks are hiring...

The guy with the arrows is being pulled in at port.

The imagination and creativity of one woman.

The jig is up. I'm finally trying to tell her the truth here.

The job was not done to my satisfaction.

The mystery woman is still suffering from complete but temporary amnesia.

The one purchase that separates mere millionaires from multimillionaires.

The rare privilege of escaping your bonds for just a spell...

The teacher makes fun of 'im.

Then you gained it back. Thin, fat, thin...

Then you must go right back to bed for at least two days.

There was that time...

There wouldn't be a Wonders of the World miniature golf course if not for...

There.

There. Now I've confessed. So what?

There's a fat guy in my way, sir.

There's Mount Rushmore, the Parthenon.

There's mutiny afoot.

There's no chauvinism in the manure business.

There's not a real big moth problem off the Pacific Coast.

There's nothing inside that's mine.

There's so many of them.

There's the snap.

These gnats keep landing on my wet nail polish.

These scores will determine your placement in future classes.

These split and comes from behind. Gives you twice the space...

They do take after your mother. Let's hope they don't become lushes too.

They don't know this, but I'm way ahead of them.

They don't look anything like me.

They fished her out of the water all right, and she's conscious.

They got calamine lotion all over 'em. What do you want me to do?

They have enough pals. They need a father.

They never found each other and they both drowned.

They should have kept you in the psycho ward of that hospital.

They were about to douse the toilet paper with gasoline and strike...

They're goin' through this arson period.

They're going after salmon poachers.

They're great boys, aren't they?

They're... They're not mine?

They've gone out shopping.

Thirty seconds.

This garment cannot possibly be a part of my wardrobe.

This is absurd!

This is crazy.

This is great.

This is illegal! You're crazy! You know that?

This is ludicrous. I've called every week for two months.

This is the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's going to double as a pizza stand.

This is unbelievable! How did you find... Where did...

This is Wilbur Budd again.

This is Wilbur Budd here at KRAB, the family station.

This isn't a bad idea. I could invent some wild things here. Go on.

This kid started chokin' on a french fry.

This missing link person is not my husband.

Time to get up.

Time to get up.

To see life from an entirely new perspective.

True.

Turn around quick. Here it comes. Should be out about now.

Twenty nine, 28, 27...

Twenty nine.

Uncle Billy, were you really in the Coast Guard?

Up here in Elk Snout, ma'am, we don't know about them closets nor bathrooms.

Used to call him Mean Dean Proffitt. Used to call me Bad Billy Pratt.

Very funny.

Wait a minute!

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Wait!

Wait. Don't you worry about me and my boys. We're pals.

Wait. Not tonight.

Wait. Wait.

Waitress. Get over here, will ya?

Was I always this miserable? Wasn't I ever happy?

Was it always like this?

Watch him.

We did it on the first date?

We didn't know it... Then we bring on board, eh?

We don't know. Other than that, you seem to be in excellent physical shape.

We got some more on that amnesia lady story down in Elk Grove.

We got three dollars and four cents.

We gotta do somethin', right, Dad?

We have a comfortable, private room for you where you'll be a lot safer.

We have a Renaissance garbage man.

We have to talk.

We just did it right there in the parking lot of the 7 Eleven.

We moved here deliberately?

We tell stories with our songs. We just don't sing.

We'll all be a lot safer, and you'll be a lot more comfortable.

We'll get you out of these clothes.

We're at sea. And I'm a god at sea.

We're coming about at full speed ahead!

We're gonna go rent a fishing boat, then we're gonna go get her back.

We're just gonna build it as soon as somebody gives us the money.

We're so glad you're back.

We's gonna go bye bye. Yes.

We've only been here a couple of weeks.

Welcome back, Mrs. Stayton.

Welcome home, baby!

Well, are we amusing you?

Well, come on, honey. You got to admit you've lost a lot of weight.

Well, don't you worry. It'll be gone in no time.

Well, good, then I'm calling both your parents.

Well, hey, I've been doin' this kind of shit... work for years.

Well, I couldn't call it a date really.

Well, I don't know where they'd be because...

Well, I guess maybe they do, but I'm not gonna go anywhere.

Well, I was hopin' you'd recall this guy. He's your newest, honey.

Well, I'm glad you've finally come to your senses.

Well, it's trickling down the stairway. Joey, don't get that near your eyes.

Well, like the Taj Mahal. Seven Wonders of the World.

Well, Mrs. Proffitt, apparently your children...

Well, no. Yeah.

Well, now we know they work.

Well, pumpkin, you've got to light the burner.

Well, put your nose in the manual and find something, Lucas.

Well, sure, honey, lots.

Well, that's about it except for...

Well, the dining room and toilet.

Well, the truth is that it's mine.

Well, there's no time now.

Well, this is my life.

Well, try to control your bodily noises so I can hear myself think.

Well, what do you know? Extend your brain a teensy little bit, if possible.

Well! I almost had to wait.

What a horrible wig.

What about other places? Foreign places.

What are you blustering about? You'll never punish them.

What did he say?

What did you say?

What do I get in return? I get toilet papered by your children.

What do you expect when you roll around in poison oak?

What do you know?

What do you think about this: Sink 'Em and Drink 'Em.

What is it?

What is it?

What is that odor?

What is this?

What should I do?

What we're trying to do is bring some of this outer world into Elk Cove.

What you have to escape from, I can't possibly imagine.

What you said about me and the boys tonight...

What, Annie?

What? No boom boom?

What's for dinner?

What's going on?

When are you coming home?

When she was swimmin' out to the boat, the fog got so thick...

When was I in Paris? In the navy.

When you brought her aboard?

When you were...

Where did you... Wait, wait!

Where in God's name did I grow up? Dog Patch?

Where is Mrs. Proffitt when all of this is going on?

Where's he going?

Where's my jacket? What divorce? What are you saying?

Where's the thing? I need the red...

Where's your problem?

While there are no efforts being made for anyone to try to locate...

Who did this?

Who is J. S and what does she do to Dean?

Why did you do that?

Why do I have this depressed look on my face all the time?

Why do I have to smoke?

Why do they honk three times?

Why do you care what some carpenter from Elk Snout thinks of you?

Why do you stick your hands in people's mouths anyway?

Why does he keep staring at me?

Why don't you go inside and get out of the sea air?

Why is everyone always trying to make me do what I don't want to do?

Why not? You've eaten everything else in this place.

Why, no... Well, yes, but...

Why... I know why.

Will you please get your head out and look at me?

With my apologies, madam. Andrew, I seem to have lost my ruby earrings...

With the rich and famous to exotic ports of call.

With their little corpses stuck to my fingers, is that it?

With your perm frizzing to oblivion.

Woman overboard!

Women are welcome too.

Workin' at Burger Boy over in Lewitsville.

Wrong.

Yeah, huntin' calms Billy down.

Yeah, I bought my wife a garter once at a yard sale...

Yeah, obviously they're not identical.

Yeah, right, Dumbo. She's on her way to New York.

Yeah, she's not going...

Yeah, you are. I'm gonna tell her.

Yeah. Bring the Wonders of the World to Elk Cove.

Yeah. Dean Proffitt.

Yeah. Them guys in suits come down in less than a week.

Yes, I'm sorry.

Yes, I'm sorry.

Yes, madam.

Yes, we saw something floating water like this.

You all right?

You always like being called Jo Jo. It was dittums you hated.

You and Mommy are going to take a little trip, aren't we?

You can avoid it in the future, because you're fired.

You can be quite charming when you want to be.

You can't imagine how terrible it is not to know who you are.

You can't run out when things get complicated. The kids are sick.

You come back here!

You didn't tell us sizes. All you said was just get some dresses.

You do?

You don't get any of the old feelings back when you look at him, do you?

You don't have to be ashamed because you shovel fish guts.

You don't have to sit out here in the brine...

You got it. We used to do it in the closet.

You got that right.

You got to breathe on it.

You gotta do it if you wanna be one of the Gruesome Ghouls.

You guys are beggin' for it, I'm tellin' ya.

You have a mother now? Your father remarried?

You have exactly 48 hours. I suggest you get started.

You haven't begun to be sorry, you hillbilly harlot.

You haven't got a single thing on this Earth to do except for your hair!

You jumped my bones the first night we met.

You just caught me on a bad day.

You just don't now.

You just gotta get your memory back that way.

You just needed something to take up your useless, empty...

You know I meant Elk Cove. Anything new, honey?

You know we live like this.

You know, diving for oysters at night.

You know, forks were invented so man could...

You know, I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you this. Sit down.

You know, it's pretty hard to go bowling without a bowling ball.

You know, we lost a lot of stuff in the move.

You know, we lost a lot of stuff in the move.

You know, where you...

You left me there, didn't you?

You like her so much, you'd rather live with her than your own father?

You look radiant, Jo Jo.

You look the morning after Halloween. Probably had a day like I did.

You may go stand in the corner until you can talk like a little boy.

You may have wanted cedar, but you didn't ask for cedar.

You must really concentrate.

You place it on her tongue. Don't they have dogs in Sweden?

You ran right over there to him and you gave him that Heimlich maneuver.

You ready? Come on.

You really got her right where you want her, don't you?

You really got her right where you want her, don't you?

You remember that rainy evening I put you out

You see, honey, the reason you got a bad back...

You seem to be suffering from a temporary amnesia...

You shot a chicken?

You should have told her, Dad.

You snore!

You tricked me.

You used me.

You walked kind of hunched over, you know?

You were grumpy a lot. You were losing the weight.

You, croissants in the morning.

You're just in time. Dr. Death is on the rampage.

You're Kim and Kimberly.

You're late.

You're living in a nightmare that starts at the crack of dawn.

You're making a big deal out of a little thing.

You're overwrought, Grant. I want you to take a Valium.

You're so goddamned bored, you gotta invent things to bitch about.

You're that sweaty carpenter who hates me.

You're the happiest little wife and mother in the world, really.

You're unbelievable.

You're worryin' too much about it.

You've always had your heart set on six...

You've been through hell.

You've done so many wonderful things for me...

Your beer, madam.

Your children are a discipline problem.

Your children are totally lacking in parental supervision.

Your chocolate cream pie.

Your closet was fine.

Your list of daily chores. See ya tonight.

Your wife's had an almost total loss of memory.

9:00 in the morning... This better be good.

A washing machine. You like it?

All right, Joe! Is that so?

Andrew, I'd love a beer. A beer?

Are we going home? What?

Are you Mr. Proffitt? Yeah.

Baby, listen. I just want to remember for myself.

Billy, what's going on? We're turning around.

Boy, it sure is pretty, isn't it? Beautiful.

But now that you're here... Yep, that's her.

But, sir. Now I'm in charge.

But, you see, l... Thank you very much, Tunatti.

Can she see us? Not unless she's Super Woman.

Captain Karl. Yes, ma'am?

Captain says the engines are ready. Let's get going.

Carpenter? Yeah?

Charlie tried to kill my turtle. He didn't mean to throw it.

Come about! Son, no more radio.

Come on, Joey. Stop honking!

Come on. Help.

Come on. Let's not forget this at $7 a pop.

Come on. What are you talkin' about? Pick a Wonder.

Cute. Mom, help!

Dad? Yeah?

Dad's here. Mom, Dad's home.

Damn you! Man overboard!

Dean! Madam! The ship has stopped.

Did I just go downhill? Look, it's comin' back already.

Did you get the money? We got the money.

Don't change the subject. Who is she? Forget it! Come here!

Don't leave me alone with them. Come on, honey. That's not fair.

Don't touch me. What?

Dresses. The right sizes?

Excuse me, Mrs. Burbridge. The test results. Thank you, Gloria.

Found 'em in the glove compartment? Yeah. Now tell me every sordid detail.

Give your ma a kiss. No!

Go ahead. Tell her. Dad, tell her what?

Go back to New York, Dr. Korman. Really? Thank you.

Gonna squirt us with the hose again? That's up to you.

Grant, I'm on the phone! I can't hear you, Tea Rose!

Great! That's so great! Can you believe it?

Happy birthday, Annie. Thanks, Dean.

He likes to invent things. Twins?

He thinks he's Pee wee Herman. I love Pee wee Herman.

He's good lookin'. Clean.

He's here! I don't wanna come in!

Heads up! After I got out of the Coast Guard...

Here you go. After this you get to shovel fish guts.

Here! Here it is. No, please!

Hey, Billy, who ya talkin' to? Nobody.

Hey, Dad, whose car is that? A rich relative we don't know about?

Hey, Dad. Hi. How's it goin', guys?

Hey, is that Dean? Hi, Dean. Hi, Gertie.

Hey, what happened? One of them...

Hey! Whoa! Fire!

Hi, Mom! Hi, Mom.

Honey, it's so expensive. No shit.

Honey, phone sex girls... I've been so silly.

How about you? What's wrong with her?

How's it goin' with your debutante? She's one lousy cook.

I always carry one, yeah. Good. Put her in it.

I can have a divorce. Where's my damn boots?

I didn't make any brownies. How about some chocolate cream pie?

I didn't. What do you mean?

I feel self conscious enough as it is. Oh, sweetie.

I forgot to give you this. What?

I got horny. Do you hate me? Oh, no, I don't hate you.

I gotta bring this in for a price. I can bring it in.

I gotta feed my turtle. Damn turtle stole my headband.

I gotta tell her, Billy. What?

I had my reasons! So do we.

I just... I already know.

I know what you're thinkin'. I'm not thinkin' anything.

I made it from macaroni. I love it.

I need to turn it around. Can we? Nino on break.

I never tasted anything like this. It's good stuff.

I saw you jumped, so I jumped. I don't mean that.

I see. It's seal.

I smoke. Why don't we all smoke?

I think I'd remember if I had three... Four, honey.

I want to go back, Grant. To him.

I was only asking. You shut up.

I will re... re... re... Reduce.

I'd like to speak to my daughter. They're not here, madam.

I'll put up the reward myself. She's drivin' us crazy.

I'm busy. Not anymore. She's goin' home.

I'm glad you're Bad Billy Pratt. What a pile of shit.

I'm in real bad shape. Nonsense!

I'm not paying for your mistake. I'm not gonna eat it on this deal.

I'm saying what I'm saying. You're saying what you're saying.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch your name. Adele Burbridge.

I'm talking about... Stuff you shouldn't be talking about.

I've got you! Let's tickle her!

In my country, I always sing. Isn't that interesting?

Is anyone at your home? Yeah, our mom is.

Is he? Yes.

Is Nino here? Nino on break.

Is that it? Well, that's one of the things.

Is this gonna work? My ideas always work. I'm gifted.

It might be interesting for adults. Are you talking about the golf course?

It slipped out of his hand. You're dead!

It's a disgrace. We like it like a disgrace.

It's after midnight. I don't care. I want it now.

It's all right. That's it. I'm gonna spank 'em.

It's all the beer. Whoa, buttercup.

It's all yours, Dean. This is what we're here for tonight.

It's my birthday? Come on. Get dressed.

Joanna, please. It's easy for you to say.

Joey, come on. Time to get up. Dumb thing moves a centimeter an hour.

Joker's saying, No! I know. What does he say up here?

Josie? Listen, I'm not your husband.

Just a little thing like that. Well, there you have it.

Just like that. I see.

Katerina! Arturo!

Kissed? No, they drowned.

Let me see your hand. I smell hair.

Let's go. Oh, no!

Look at this. I gotta go to work. Wait for me.

Making love? Yeah.

Mom, we're still all clean. I told her she's not your mother.

Mother, would you like some? I'd love some.

My closet. Uh huh.

My daughter is a waitress? Hold it.

My mother's a lush? Was, honey. Cirrhosis.

Navy. It's a stupid idea in any language.

Nice looking Weatherby you got there. It's a very expensive gun.

No, madam. I cannot let you do this. What?

No, this is wrong. Come along now.

No! Why?

None of this ever bothered you... Bothered me before.

Now those are tits. It's my turn.

Oh, no. Aren't you hot? Yeah. Let's go outside.

On board. Yes.

One bag. Folks, I said Elk Grove before.

Out. Billy, when did we date?

Parthenon, right. St. Basil's, the Russian Cathedral.

Pretty good eats, Annie. Are mashed potatoes supposed to crunch?

Pretty good, huh? You did all this...

Pull. Firing!

References? Well, no, not really.

Right. That's not right. That's not my name.

She told her off. Dad never did that.

She's getting better though. Better?

Show me your invention. You're gonna hate it.

Sit there and don't get dirty. I hate this!

So I made it for you myself. What?

So we bring in boat. No clothes. Learn something every day.

Somebody call for a carpenter? That's my wife's department.

Stevie Wonder. Yeah. Pick another Wonder.

Stop it. Does she hand out shovels?

Sugar lips? Yeah?

Sure. It's Daddy Warbucks. Maybe we won the lottery.

Tell her she's not your mother. But she is our mother.

Thank you, and now back to you, Wilbur. Yo, Dean!

That's a terrible story. But the legend is...

That's excellent. What's excellent about it?

That's my underwear. What?

That's wrong, isn't it? Nothing is ever wrong.

The boat stopped. Yes, the boat stopped.

The captain stop the boat. I'm the captain, okay?

The trophy was gorgeous. I know. I wanted it too.

The world's best luxury yacht... You idiots!

There we are. Honey, we need forks.

There. God, I finally said it. What's her name? Jacqueline?

There. Is that better? Yeah.

There. They always do that. Okay.

There's the Eiffel Tower. That's expensive. If it rains...

They were just playin' around. Oh, just playing around?

They won't come in. Shit.

They're making their Christmas lists. Already?

This is a job for Dr. Death! Yeah! Dr. Death could do it!

This is boring. It's not so bad to get dressed up.

This is flat. Give me another one. I only got six.

Throw that out. Yes, madam.

Tofutti Klein. Tofutti. I love it!

Try not to touch anything. Oh, I won't.

Twin? Oh, Twin? She means you.

Two eighty. I'll do the cookin', honey

Up! Up, up, up! Help.

Was I also shorter? Yes. You had a bad back.

Watch your language. Oh, Mom!

We don't know. Maybe you'll spark to this.

We have to talk. Fine. What's on you mind, sugar lips?

We interrupt this program... I think I got it fixed.

We like her, Dad! Oh, you like her, do you?

We'll be in business. If I can hang on that long.

We're gettin' Mom back. We miss her.

We're gonna go get her. Come on, guys.

We're keepin' her. You can't! She doesn't belong to you.

We've been married for 13 years. Wait!

We've never really had time to talk. No, we haven't.

Well, he's a small child. He can't read for a small child either.

Well, what can I do? Go and get it.

Well... You can have these back.

What about Gertie? I strayed.

What about my father? He's alive and well.

What are you doing? Looking for memorabilia.

What are you gonna do? What are you drinkin' there?

What did you do now? They decided to play sick...

What did you say? Nothin'. Just my stomach.

What do you guys think you're doin'? We won't let you ruin everything.

What do you mean? What I mean is...

What happened to you? Monday is their first day of school.

What is it? Mrs. Annie Proffitt.

What is it? Where're you going?

What is... Pee wee Herman.

What should I do, Travis? Go home.

What the hell are you talkin' about? I confessed. The jig is up.

What? He's listening.

What? I lost my wedding ring at sea.

What's goin' on here? Nothing. We're okay. We're fine.

What's miniature golf? For midget brains like you.

What's my full name? Come on.

What's my maiden name? Annie Goolihy.

What's the score? I had my eyes closed. Thirty two, ten.

What's this all about? He's embarrassed 'cause he can't read.

What's this? Travis found a girlfriend.

When I get home. I'm in a hurry. Now.

Where did I meet you? Hank's Doughnut World.

Who is it? Dr. Death! Let's go.

Who? That carpenter.

Who's winning? The guys with 32.

Whoa! The bus is here. Bye, Mom.

Why do I got to put on airs? Stop fussing. You look great.

Why? I'm going home.

Why'd she do that? She destroyed the scarecrow, Dad.

Will she be one of us? She wants to rediscover her old self.

With nothin' but a fine toothed comb What do you want with ol' Sweet Mouth?

Wonder Bread. Give me one Wonder.

Yes. Good.

Yes. Okay.

You about done? Yeah.

You all right? Yes.

You can't catch it anyway. Don't be nervous, okay?

You can't have one. Oh, really?

You owe me 600 bucks! Keep going!

You remember... I was in the armed forces?

You said moms don't leave! Get!

You sucked first. No, I didn't.

You were listening. It was kind of hard to avoid.

You're not my wife. Okay? Did you meet at the fertilizer plant?

You're not thinking of... Gotta go home and talk to my kids.

Your first night with her, huh? Mm hmm.

Your lunch is on the counter. Thanks.

7:15! Let's go! Hurry up, Mom.