Kazaam (1996) Edit

A couple of millennia later, your lamp breaks.

A djinn is free. A djinn can do anything.

A guy like me, you can't just walk away...

A key to the studio.

A tutor? Oh, the school got you a tutor?

About your accomplishments, Max.

Ain't gonna make this a mystery.

All right, let's go! Let's go!

All right, look. I want to tell you something.

All right, okay. Give me a car.

All right! All right, that's it! Let's go!

All right.

All right.

And ''Lamb'' because I like to eat lamb chops.

And all you need is... this.

And another thing: you're gonna do whatever I want.

And as long as I'm standing here, he'll do whatever I tell him to.

And get into the box.

And he'll appear right in front of me.

And I am just dying to find out.

And I can't get back into my box until you make your three wishes.

And I do see things.

And I don't believe in fairy tales.

And I really wanted the house to look nice for Travis.

And I'm free.

And if I had to spend another 5,000 years...

And if you try anything clever...

And it ain't Mrs. Duke's supply closet.

And that's Theo over there. And you know who this is.

And then, only then, will I make my wish. Do you understand?

And this amazing wonder is Asia Moon. Son of a gun.

And what do you know; a country is born.

And when you needed me the most...

And work our way up to something big?

And you also left us without enough time to hear your little presentation.

And, gosh, what a surprise, detention.

Another alien abduction, Maxwell?

Anytime you want to talk... I'll be here.

Are you all right?

Are you okay with this, Max?

At a time like this, you should be stokin'.

Beat it!

Because the plan sucks big time!

Besides, I did some hard time under that ash. Try 342 years.

Besides, I don't do those kind of wishes. I do material wishes.

Black market CDs. Let's go.

BlackJaguar XKE.

Boom box, that is. So what?

Bottom, bottom.

Bring it over there. Come on, let's move it aside.

Bring me his.

Buddy, it's like trying to hide a tanker behind a sailboat.

But I still find it curious.

But I want to hear it anyway, right here after school!

But I want you to have a real father...

But I'll tell you what. Why don't we start off with something small...

But if you got the itches for a sack of riches...

But let's just get it done.

But nothing is more major than my studies in Asia.

But the school district more commonly refers to me as a tutor.

But what I am really interested in is this man.

But what will I find? My loyal friend...

But will I get to know you?

But you can just snap your fingers and have anything.

But you did. You wished for a second chance for your father.

But, Dad, you don't understand.

But,you know, the only good news is...

Can we just pretend this never happened?

Can't your father give it to you?

Check, check. One.

Chocolate and peanut butter French toast? Heavenly.

Cindi, if I wanted pressed turkey, I would have run over myself.

Come back here, you guys!

Come back here!

Come on, Asia.

Come on, boy, you're not gonna die.

Come on, in the car.

Come on, Rocky.

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on! Get over here, man!

Come on! Get over here, man!

Come on! Let's go right now! Come on!

Come on! To the right! To the right!

Come on. It was supposed to already be here. I told you five minutes ago.

Come on. We got him now.

Dad, I thought it was just gonna be you and I.

Dad, look out!

Dad, please...

Dad! What are you doing? You can't

Damn.

Days.

Dearly beloved Nick...

Detention!

Djinn? What's a djinn?

Do you have to shine that in my eyes?

Do you know how jealous you are making me? Huh? Huh?

Do you know how many cops would love to lock me up?

Do you realize who I am? I'm your genie!

Do? Uh, lots of stuff.

Don't leave me. The power...

Don't matter how avaricious...

Don't mistake that for interesting.

Don't say I didn't warn you, boys.

Don't tell me this is nothing about lunch money.

Don't tell me. They couldn't fit the key in the lock?

Don't wanna do time on your wishes three.

Don't you see, I wished for that, but you can't do that. Because if you do that...

Especially now. So, you and your father have a nice night too?

Ethereal. But I am Mr. Material, and my stuff ain't too shabby.

Every once in awhile, someone drags me out.

Excuse me. What's wrong with Max?

Fifteen years. Fifteen years!

For once in your life, let me have the last word.

Forget chores. What we mean is, we want to help you.

Four of the republics of the former Soviet Union

Free to do what? I got plans.

Free!

Friend? Don't you remember? I'm just your genie!

From a dork on the floor, would it be enough?

From now on, you're gonna come home from school, and you're gonna start doing chores.

Get a couple rods and go fishing.

Get him! Come on, man! Come on!

Get out of my bed!

Get out of my way!

Get out! Get out!

Get outta there!

Get set for my tete a tete tete.

Get that outta here. Hey, don't we have some pizza comin'?

Get up!

Give Kazaam another shot, won't you?

Go around! Let's go!

Go on, get outta here.

Go on, go!

Go! Go!

Good.

Hang on! I'm contagious, outrageous, spontaneous!

Harvard? I'm way too intelligent for Harvard.

Has terminated your contract.

Has terminated your contract.

Having a good time, eating goat eyes,just chillin'.

He said something about a second chance.

He was gonna work it off?

He's got a secret bigger than he is.

He's in the house. Max, honey, is that you? Max?

He's not picking me up after school. I don't have to listen to you, all right?

He's told me so much about you.

He's with Nick. And I think we'll just be in the way.

Hello?

Help!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Hey Hey, hold it right there!

Hey dee, hi dee ho.

Hey, can I help it if Mrs. Duke is really a very angry man trapped in a woman's body?

Hey, come here, you little con artist!

Hey, don't turn your butt on me!

Hey, everybody, quiet down, quiet down! Check this out!

Hey, guys. Oh, hey. We're in here.

Hey, hey Honey, what happened to your face?

Hey, hey, hold on, hold on. Ajob? I ain't worked in 5,000 years.

Hey, hey, I like it! I'm serious! This whole, you know, seen the street thing.

Hey, I want to talk to you!

Hey, kid! We're closed!

Hey, my Fossil watch!

Hey, Shep, bring it down here!

Hey, tough guy.

Hey, wait!

Hey, welcome back, Max.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Hey, what are you kids doing in there?

Hey, you're gonna have to help me out, Mr. Shea.

Hey, you're not building a neutron bomb over here, are you?

Hey!

Hey. Hey, hold your camels.

Hey...

Hey... you mean that, homie?

Him? He's tall, Malik.

How about it, party people! Put your hands together for Klass K!

How are you? What's up?

How could that be?

How did that happen?

How do I shut this thing off?

How long do I have to come up with the wishes?

How much?

How sweet of you to call me a friend...

How's it going? Having fun, Max?

Huh?

Huh?

Hurry up!

I

I I'm sorry. H Have I met you before?

I ain't workin'.

I am Kazaam!

I am Kazaam!

I am Kazaam!

I am Kazaam.

I am your master!

I bet they really miss you and the nice building with the padded walls.

I can go wherever I want. I got pull.

I can't believe it! Look how big you got! This is my son.

I can't just say, ''Kazaam!''

I can't show my magic to anybody but you...

I can't! I can't just say, ''Hey, Kazaam, I need your help,''

I cannot hear you! What are we?

I could have granted your wish.

I count to three. One, two, three!

I did lie.

I didn't know Spinderella opened the show with a dwarf tossing.

I didn't know what to do.

I don't care what you do. I gotta obey the rules.

I don't get out much.

I don't know if I could bear another one right now.

I don't know what happened. All of a sudden, I was free.

I don't know what you're talking about, and neither does he.

I don't know.

I don't know. This has never happened before.

I don't need a friend, I need a genie! Now, grant my second wish! I order you!

I don't need much protection.

I don't think rewarding him is a very good idea right now.

I don't think you're ordering anybody!

I experienced my academia in Upper Mesopotamia.

I feel...

I figured if I ended your suffering, mine would end too.

I got 50,000 blanks coming in our little loading dock!

I got a nose for this kind of stuff.

I got you now. Okay? It's okay.

I haven't had these in 3,000...

I just know, okay?

I just wish my mom and dad would fall back in love.

I just wish...

I know how much it was worth. I'll find it.

I know that I'm not the best mother in the world, Max...

I know there is something about that boom box...

I know, but listen to this crowd. They love me. I own them.

I love it beaucoup, beaucoup, beaucoup!

I made a wish, and I granted it!

I made your favorite, with chocolate chips and peanut butter.

I make a grab like that and you don't even say, ''nice save''?

I mean, but you gotta have something to rap about, your rhymes.

I mean, it's not two or three thousand years, but that's a long time.

I mean, you gotta have something to say.

I need this more than anything I've ever needed in my entire life!

I never knew what to think. You were gone.

I never said

I own you, don't I?

I quit, Nick! Dad

I think I'm gonna wait outside, Max.

I thought he was just coming over for ribs.

I thought I'd never see you again.

I told you

I told you Spinderella would pack the house.

I want the first run packed and shipped by sunrise.

I want to talk to you about your son.

I was in the building and Kazaam...

I was raised to find everything interesting.

I was two, okay?

I wasn't there.

I wish

I wish I could have filled your heart.

I wish you'd go away! Leave me alone!

I wouldn't care.

I'd like us to be friends.

I'll be right back.

I'll get a job! I'll show them!

I'll get it to you by midnight tonight.

I'm back! Take a break, kid. You're gonna need it for this.

I'm counting on it.

I'm dead. I'm dead.

I'm donating your brain to science, okay?

I'm going to beg.

I'm home! Don't tell me.

I'm looking for Mr. Matteo.

I'm not some djinn. I just can't snap my fingers and make you happy.

I'm on my heavy B.M.X., and I make some tracks.

I'm outta here!

I'm really serious about this getting something to eat.

I'm tellin'the truth. They're doin'a live recording worth a million bucks.

I'm the man of the ages, straight out of the pages!

I'm the man that could grant your wishes!

I'm the one with the power. I'm the one with the genie.

I've been doing this genie stuff for about 5,000 years.

I've got lots of clients

If that's all right with you.

If that's still in.

If you want to be number one, I'm sorry, boy, that's been done!

In 5,000 years...

In a lamp, a compass...

In that case, I wish I was as big as you, but not so stupid.

Is Asia gonna love me or what?

Is he all right?

Is in... your heart.

Is make your last two wishes...

Is that all you care about?

Is there a Nick Matteo here?

It feels like I'm getting shorter.

It has nothing to do with the box.

It looks like we were robbed by a bunch of little boys.

It worked!

It's a math problem. If we took all the dough...

It's about what you got and what you can do with it!

It's begun.

It's just that I love your mom, and I want to marry her.

It's not Mack. It's Max.

It's not my problem anymore!

It's not to reward him.

It's the wholesale mart. Fifth and Broadway.

It's very easy. Come on.

Jaguar, black. Better stand back.

Jaguar, black. Better stand back.

Jesus.

Just get me the tape! I mean, come on, you

Just give it a try.

Kazaam, he got unlimited supply!

Kazaam, he's my genie.

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

Kazaam!

Kazaam! Hey, Kazaam!

Kazaam! I need to make my last wish!

Kazaam! Kazaam!

Klass K! Klass K!

Know a person's secret, you own them.

Know the drill. ''I am Kazaam '' Let's go!

L.S.U. Grad...

Lady, you can't go in there.

Lady. Lady, where you goin'? Now you can't go in there.

Let me be the first to tell you, the future don't always follow the plan.

Let me make this perfectly clear. Next time you do that...

Let me tell you something. I've been dealing with this woman for 12 straight years.

Let's get busy, K!

Let's get him, boys!

Let's get outta here! Go on! Go, go!

Let's go! You're on my turf now!

Like a whole bunch of silly people, counting on a whole bunch of silly wishes.

Like I said, he's about as interesting as his pituitary gland.

Like the main man did with the loaves and the fish.

Listen to me.

Listen, it's only 'cause this world really, really gives me tension...

Listen, Max, I don't intend to take the place of your father.

Listen, Mr. Psychopathic Dork in the Basement...

Listen, you want to pull the wool over someone's eyes? Go get a sheep, okay?

Lives in a genie's lamp.

Look out!

Look out!

Look, all you gotta do...

Look, can we talk about this later? I got things I gotta do, people I gotta see.

Look, Godzilla, I wish you'd just

Look, he hasn't seen me in a long time.

Look, I was all over. I was in the V.I.P. Section.

Look, look, look what you have!

Look, Malik, let's stop playing these games.

Look, there's a few things I gotta take care of.

Look, Virgo. That wasn't here yesterday.

Look, what I'm saying is you're gonna have...

Look, when I come back, I'd like to see you.

Looking good, Max.

Lose the pointy shoes.

Love, the future, fate.

Love? Kid, I told you, Kazaam don't do ethereal.

Make my wish now!

Make the wish, I get the genie.

Make the wish... or your father will die.

Make things different.

Man, it must be great to be a genie.

Max, are you okay? Max! Oh!

Max, can I come in?

Max, no! Max, no! No, stop!

Max, um...

Max, wait up!

Max, we have to talk.

Max,you ever hear of a guy named Buster Keaton?

Max!

Max?

Max.

Max.

Max.

Max.

Max. Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

Max. Last night don't do that again.

Max...

Max...

Maxwell Connor.

Maxwell.

Maybe I'll even be a personal assistant! I'll show them all!

Mmm.

Mom was gonna marry Travis.

Mom, it's not like he lives here or anything.

Mom?

Mom?

More than I promise.

Mr. Matteo, I found this kid wandering around backstage.

Mr. Matteo, I got the tape! It's finished!

Mr. Mohammed Ali...

Mr. Shea, Nick Matteo. How you doing?

Mrs. Duke sucks.

My box!

My dad says it's the blood that counts.

My father? But I thought you didn't know where he was.

My mom wishes I did.

My sultan's gold...

My turn.

Neither do I.

Never in my life have I ever seen something so stupid!

Nick tells me what a good man you are.

Nick, Nick.

Nick, please.

Nick, what the hell do you think you're doing?

Nick... stick around.

No way I'm losing this race, buddy.

No way, man. This is cool!

No, go around to the other side.

No, I didn't call anybody. Psst.

No, I was hired to record a live performance, not bootleg a legit album!

No, I'm not going to school!

No, in 250 years, stupid! I need a tape. No, no, I wish I had the tape.

No, ma'am, I haven't had the pleasure. I am Jefferson Allensworth Lamb.

No, no, no. And stop rhyming!

No, wait, look. It's a tiny, living creature.

No!

No!

No! Do you have a problem with this wish?

No.

Not all there, Klass K? Huh?

Nothing is good. What's this, science?

Now would be highly advisable.

Now, deal with it!

Now, we're talkin' three baths a week...

Now, who's that sorry wanna be that disturbed my z's?

Now... be a good genie...

Now... hop, hop.

Now... where's Max?

Oh, back there?

Oh, excuse me, sir. I'd like to speak to Mr. Matteo.

Oh, great.

Oh, I I'm sorry. I I didn't hear the door.

Oh, I left it in the door, Mrs. Duke.

Oh, I see. Another homework malfunction.

Oh, Max.

Oh, Mr. Malik.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. One second, Mr. Connor.

Oh, no!

Oh, please. Sit down.

Oh, you think you're free, but you're sucked into a compass.

Oh!

Oh! So do I.

Oh. Hmm, I used to do stuff a long time ago.

Okay, look, I need to find Travis. He's a fireman.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay. Kazaam!

Okay. Kazaam!

On surveillance tapes...

Once I know the business and stuff, I can even have a band myself.

One who's around, who you can count on.

Ooh! Ahh!

Open your eyes. Don't ask why.

Or a man at the bottom of the lake?

Or even make someone fall in love with me. I can't even touch destiny.

Or even that stupid boom box...

Or I'll dish out my misery.

Or make someone fall in love.

Ow.

****stan? Stan the man?

Please, my favorite.

Please! This is all my fault!

Please.

Please. Just hold them between your fingers like this.

Please. Wait.

Professional performer since he was eight.

Put me down, put me down!

Put me down. I'm afraid of heights.

Revere is ready, but he doesn't have a horse.

Right now,you are the biggest part of it.

Rocky, Bullwinkle, shall we?

Rolexes, gold chains, who knows what.

Rotie francaise?

Say thank you for your miracle.

See you later, man.

See, I'm making my future here, Kaz...

See? Things. Stuff. You gotta want something, kid.

Shh!

Shouldn't you be going to school?

So he wishes for the fastest damn mare in creation.

So how come you didn't tell him who you were?

So how'd you get to work for a guy like Malik?

So there's only one place this thing's gonna fit.

So what do you think? Is this place smokin' or what?

So, like, I mean, what about you?

So, so sorry. Max insisted.

So, tough guy, who was that loser?

So, tough guy...

So, what did you and your father do last night?

So, what do you think about this shirt? Do I look cool or what?

So, you gotta talk to your dad.

So... until I make those last two wishes...

So... where's the hot chocolate?

Some cajones, huh?

Something new on the plate?

Sometimes things just don't turn out the way you plan.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Spanky, come over here. I want you to meet someone.

Speaking of which, I could sure use a nice hot cup of chocolate.

Stay here and try not to hurt yourself!.

Straight to the recording booth and put the tape in your hands.

Sure, except you're locked up.

Talk to me, Max. I'm your friend.

Technically.

Tell him if he wants the tape back, it's gonna cost him.

Tell me that you couldn't have another bite. Tell me everything.

Tell me you had a wonderful breakfast.

Tell me,you booked in or you just come here to scare the hell out of us?

Thank you.

Thanks.

That I'm gonna do something I don't ordinarily do.

That was my father.

That we can change.

That we can do.

That you are still standing!

That'd be me.

That's a long time away.

That's cold.

That's it? A happy meal?

That's not a wish! That's an insult!

That's right, it's poison.

That's right. I've got the box, and you're on your last wish.

That's whack!

The best seat in the house set aside especially for you tonight.

The destruction of Pompeii.

The last one of these tapes was worth a million dollars to Malik.

The name isn't ''kid.'' It's Max.

The only plans you got are to grow old and die with me.

The problem is, djinn only exist in fairy tales...

The rest of the world goes broke and money isn't worth anything!

The thing is... I'm looking for Max.

Then I guess my only problem is...

Then I'll take all the money and give some of it back!

Then you got junk food from here to the sky!

Then, then, I wish I had junk food...

Theo, you call a messenger?

There are no gold watches, no gold necklaces!

There is an ancient phrase.

There is no ''you and I.''

There were some things left unsigned by your father.

They wanted my optic lobes, but they didn't get a thing.

They're taping it right now. If I wanted to, I could go straight back in there...

Third aisle, locker 882, upstairs.

This is between me and my boy.

This is my world.

This is your big chance, man. Do this, everything changes.

This isn't a toy store.

Three large, two medium. Pizza 'Zaam's here to bust the tedium.

Three story mansion, a sack of gold, a whole land of milk and honey...

To the supply closet.

Travis and I... want to get engaged.

Travis O'Neil is in there.

Trust me, he won't be asking for any more.

Try downstairs, kid.

Two dollars and seventy cents? We're gonna be living large on this.

Two more. Make this a night you'll never forget.

Uh, Unocal? Unistan?

Uh, well, Mr. Lamb, would, uh Have you had breakfast yet?

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He fell down the shaft!

Uh, you know

Uh, you've been studying?

Understand... you're messing with my little brother.

Unless... you want to play...

Wait a second.

Wait right here. I'll be right back down. Close the door.

Wait. Max. Max, honey, get out of the car.

Wait. Max. Max.

Was that guy really your father?

Watch it, boy! You don't want to dis me!

We can get together and, I don't know...

We gotta talk.

We'll get ya! We got him now!

We'll take good care of you, Paul. Uh huh. Yeah, I'll see you tonight.

We're gonna get you a tutor, and I'd like to start picking you up after school.

We're gonna make the hottest live recording anyone's ever heard!

Welcome to my life. And here's a tip:

Well, he's back now, all right?

Well, I just wish I could change things, you know?

Well, if you're looking for this, I found it.

Well, Mack, the tour is over.

Well, th there's a first time for everything.

Well... now he knows.

What Are you like really lonely or something?

What about me?

What are we gonna do?

What are we, Max?

What are you doing here? Get out of here. Get out.

What are you doing here? Get outta here! Let me paint a picture for you, Ed.

What do you know? You live in a box!

What do you mean, chores? Milk the cows, feed chickens? I don't get it.

What I gotta do, kid?

What is this place? Shh!

What is this? Huh? What have you got here, dreadlocks?

What kind of maniac would steal the motor to our Hoover?

What matters now is you and your mom can move on with your lives.

What the

What the hell are you doing here? Are you looking for trouble?

What was he thinking?

What was that?

What? Ew!

What'd you do with him?

What's happening?

What's like the worst thing you've ever seen in your life?

What's that?

What's the matter with you? Can't you read the sign? Beat it!

What's up? He kind of small, don't you think?

When we were robbed.

When you gonna learn? Life ain't about wishin' and dreams.

Where did you learn all this, Harvard?

Where have you been, hmm? Not at school. You are grounded!

Where the hell's the pizza?

Where you going?

Where'd he go?

Where's Max?

Who?

Who... dare to wake me?

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoo! Don't get all hysterical.

Whoo! Yes! There's about a thousand people out there, and they loved me!

Why are we here? Just saving you a wish, my man.

Why are you stalling? All you ever wanted was to make my three wishes!

Why did he leave?

Why isn't the tape here, Max?

Why'd you have to come now?

Will wake up... dead.

Wish for a castle, a fancy chariot!

Wish not granted.

With a talent like yours, you'll get to know him as well as I do.

With Malik. He says I got a future in the biz.

Would you just give me a minute?

Wow. That's really great. You finished it.

Wow. You live here?

Wow. You're a genie too.

Y Yeah, yeah, I have, inverse ratios of height to intelligence.

Yeah, but I can't make myself free.

Yeah, I built it myself too.

Yeah, that's okay over there.

Yeah, well, I don't believe in fairy tales either.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna rap about?

Yeah! How you doin'?

Yeah.

Yeah. All right. I guess I better be going.

Yeah. Like, what's the worst thing you've ever done?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Yes! Yes, yes!

Yes.

Yes. Whoo!

Yo,yo,yo. Check one, two.

You

You You are the sultan's gold, Max.

You You're

You are You have a

You are the ''sultan's gold''!

You called me into this mess of a world.

You can't contain this!

You can't hurt me.

You can't keep all these secrets from me.

You can't. I haven't made my third wish yet.

You coming or what?

You don't do this You don't want to say no.

You don't get it, do you?

You don't like me very much, do you?

You don't understand. I'm free!

You don't want to be like me.

You don't want to live my life.

You ever take anything you shouldn't have...

You get no second chances in life.

You get no second chances. Remember that.

You go down with the ship. One day, you're salvaged.

You got a choice. I don't. You understand?

You got a good heart.

You got money, everybody looks at you differently.

You got two minutes.

You got your tape. He's just a boy!

You gotta keep your eyes open for new talent.

You gotta look for the sparkle.

You gotta watch for these things, Nick.

You have a new master.

You have old fashioned taste.

You just don't want to grant my third wish, do you?

You knew the tape was worth a million dollars.

You know him?

You know that this is the only day that I don't work a double shift...

You know the rules, now comply.

You know, we are going to start changing the way things work around here.

You know, you were right for me to get out there last night. They totally loved me.

You know, your father sure is lucky to work

You like music? Come here. Sit down, sit down. Listen to this.

You like pizza, kid? Come over here. I want you to check something out.

You look terrific! just great!

You mean you've done your job. Good boy.

You must have really thought I was something.

You must not realize who I am. If you blink, I disappear.

You okay?

You should've seen us last night in Malik's limo,just chillin'.

You speak!

You stay there.

You talkin' to me?

You think you got skills?

You told me my father wasn't here, but he is! I've seen him!

You told me, men are like buses. There's always another one.

You took this job, no questions asked!

You want me to turn him into a dog or a cat or something?

You want to tell me what happened?

You were supposed to come home today and help me clean up, remember?

You weren't here...

You wind up in a radiator, a trombone. You got it; a broken boom box.

You You smell like hippopotamus butt!

You? What are you doing here? What's your name?

You'll be sorry!

You'll give me anything?

You're a good kid, Max.

You're alive! You're alive!

You're all right. You did okay.

You're leaving.

You're my son.

You're not looking so bad either.

You're not looking so bad either.

You're not my father. You will never be my father!

You're not talking about genies. You're talking about djinn.

You're not telling me that was a wish?

You're nothing!

You're right.

You're right. The whole thing is giving me tension.

You're the only friend I've ever had.

You've got all this, and now you don't want to go back in your box!

Your boy? You haven't seen him in over a decade. You have no rights here.

Your club What a place.

Your father showed up a couple of months ago and...

Your father's been very modest...

Your feet? What is this?

Your first wish? That kind of thing could happen to any genie.

Your friend was there.

Your mother.

Your public calls. Trust me.

Your third wish will be, quote:

Your whole way of thinking really gives me tension, kid.

Your wish is my command.

Your wishes are just so spectacular...

''Chores''? Yes, chores.

''Ethereal''? Yeah. Love, hope, talking to God, raising the dead.

''Papers''? The divorce papers.

''Stuff'' is good. What kind of stuff? Stuff, okay?

'Cause piracy's a felony, Nick. I don't want to be involved. Oh, r

# 'Cause I am Kazaam # # Ooh, man #

# 'Cause I'm the sultan of sand #

# Chillin'# # Couldn't get away #

# Chillin'# # Couldn't get away #

# Chillin'# # Couldn't get away #

# Chillin'# # Couldn't get away #

# Chillin'# #Summertime vibes Come back again #

# Groovin'# # Groovin'#

# Groovin'# # Groovin'#

# Groovin'# # Groovin'#

# Groovin'# # Groovin'#

# I'm more than I seem # Get off me!

# In your coffee I'm the cream ## Get off me, you pervert! Ow!

# Praying to the gods # #And what do you see #

# Used to mull in the space cemeterial # Get outta here!

# You get the best # # You get the best #

# You get the best of me # # Ooh ooh Get the best of me #

# You get the best of me # # Yeah,yeah,yeah yeah,yeah #

# You get the best of me # # Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah #

# You get the best of me # # You and me you and me #

# You get the best of me # #I'm giving you the best of me #

# You'll find that you get the best # # You get the best #

#Ah, ooh # # Ooh ooh ooh #

#Ah, ooh # # Ooh, baby #

#Ah, ooh # # Yeah #

#And if your girls are hungry # # Uh huh, and #

#Do the best # # Ooh #

#Do the best for me # # Oh oh oh oh oh oh #

#Do the best for me # # Yeah Ooh,yeah #

#Don't settle for less # # Oh oh oh oh oh oh #

#Don't settle for less # # Yeah #

#Don't settle for less # #Settle #

#I'll make your dreams come true # #Hey #

#It's what you need # #Everything you need #

#Just roll along # # That's right ##

#La la la You get the best # #Love is the secret #

#La la la, la la la la la la la # #Love is the secret #

#La la la, la la la la la la la # #Love is the secret #

#Love is the secret # # Oh,yeah Oh,yeah #

#Love is the secret # #I just want to see #

#Love is what you need # # Ooh,yeah #

#Roll along # # That's what you do #

#We genie # #We genie #

#You are looking at the dream # Let me go! Ow!

All right, wait here. What are these?

All right? Why do I get the feeling you'll never go away?

And he flew and then he It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

and I'm outta here. Sure.

And now it's done. But No, you don't understand!

And things are gonna be different. Cool.

And this is Frankie over here. Hey.

and we're all free. Kazaam, you can't.

And you're a friend of Max 's?

Anybody got any gum? I do.

Are you sure you want to marry this guy? Well, that's the plan.

At long last. Look familiar?

B.J.! Hey, B.J.! Line two!

Because I am not finished. I'm a little busy.

But Dad, I I I know what you stole, you and your punk friends!

But he's a very funny dead guy. You tell him? Tell me what?

But I haven't granted his third wish yet.

But then again, I don't believe in wishes. And look what you got.

But wait, I It was a perfect wish. It was a wish from your heart.

Can we go home now? Sure we can.

Champagne? What, are you stupid? He's a kid.

Come on, let's go. But I can wait, can't I?

Come on, man. Come on, man. What a wuss!

Come on, you gotta eat. No, I'm not

Come on! Come on! We lost them!

Come on. Hey!

Dad. Get out and stay out!

Deal with this! Hey!

Do you understand that? No.

Doesn't your school have a bell?

Don't go! In our hearts, we're all djinn...

Don't you wish you had one of these? How did you

Downstairs! Come on!

Fine. Go ahead You are involved!

Forget about it, Nick. I told you to get out of here!

French toast! Ahh. Ooh.

from here to the sky. Why not? Higher than high.

Get outta here! Dad, what happened?

Get real. You're getting a job. Ajob?

Get those things moved off to the side, all right? Over there. Max, Max, Max

he was there and he took me... Okay, okay. Okay, Max.

Hello. Will you hurry up over there?

Hey, Mom. Yeah?

Hey, what's this? What are you doing here anyway?

Hey,Julie, I need some more finishing nails!

Hey! Come on back here!

Hi, guys. It's to straighten him out.

Hi. You little turd!

His head still looks thick.

How old are you? Twelve.

I can't even decide what to wear. It doesn't matter what you wear.

I didn't call anybody. You popped the box, so make a wish!

I didn't. Listen, Max...

I don't know who he is. Just some guy.

I don't understand. You've been called.

I It's not here. How do you know?

I knew it was gonna be hot. I always deliver...

I mean, can't you even try? Believe me, I've been trying all my life.

I quit! Get over here!

I thought you were my friend!

I want you to meet everybody. This is Cindi. Hi, Max.

I want you to meet my bodyguard, Spanky. Yeah, yeah. Bodyguard?

I was just a little bit rusty. You know...

I'll make some more. Don't bother. I'm not hungry.

I'm gonna kick your butt! Dream on, loser!

I'm hungry. I'm not.

I'm just telling my story. No, it's much more.

I'm not going. Say what?

I'm not hungry. Do I have to have this Max! Please!

I'm okay, all right? Who did this to you?

I'm outta here. Let me assist you.

I'm really happy for you. Where do you think you're going?

I'm tellin' ya, I'm outta here! Shut up!

I've really had it this time, Max. Hold it, hold it.

If you guys want a real score Yeah?

Is the kid bothering you? Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

isn't gonna take years, is it? Bite me.

Isn't he some dead black and white guy? Apparently.

It's just Travis. What is that supposed to mean?

It's lunchtime. Not according to my watch.

It's not all it's cracked up to be. I'm sure.

Jaguar, black, right? Yeah.

Jaguar? Black? XKE.

Just try harder! Look, I can't do it!

Kazaam, I gotta make a wish! What are you doing? Get off the table.

Kazaam, I need a wish, okay? Right now?

Kazaam, you gotta help me! We've been over this before.

Kazaam! Kazaam! I got it, I got it! What is it?

Kazaam... you can't. You don't need me anymore.

Kazoo? Oh, Kazoo.

Ladies and gentlemen, Da Brat!

Let me hear you make some noise!

Let's go this way. Oh, here they come.

Let's go! All right, you punks!

Listen. We want more!

Malik would like you to join us tonight. Would you sign mine?

Max, he's not what you think he is. Get out of the car. Let go.

Max, this is exactly the thing... All right, all right.

Max, what happened to your Just leave me alone!

Max! What is it? Nothing!

Max? Is he okay? Yeah.

Max. Go back to Travis!

My dad will manage us. Pretty big dreams, kid.

my game. Impressive.

New lives, destiny. Kazaam can't do ethereal Kazaam!

Nice night? Max!

No, I was in there, all right? Yeah, I suppose you got...

No, I'm not involved. I said get out of here!

No, it's just that it's your second wish. So?

Now this puts the boom in box.

Now what do you know about rapping? I know a few things.

Now, make a wish. Please? Okay.

Nubian goat eyes? The food of kings!

Oh, he's got pull now. Pull this. Yeah.

Oh, Max? What?

Oh, no! Remember me? Make your three wishes.

Okay, Maxwell. Connor.

Ooh! No.

or somethinglike that,you know? Me?

or somethinglike that,you know? Me?

Please. Look, it's delicious. No, I'm really Travis, no.

Run! What are we gonna do?

Say nighty night. Kazoo. Kazoo.

Say what? My third wish! I wish my dad had a second chance.

See ya. See ya.

So you want to waste it on a tape? I just do, okay?

Some people I owe. Excuse me.

Start production. You got it.

Stay over here! Stay over here!

That could be a little dangerous. Don't touch that.

That is really putting me over the edge. Wait a minute. Forget chores.

That was a wish? That was you? Look, I didn't have a choice.

That's horrible! Oh, my God, that's awful. You do better.

That's why we want to get engaged. Wait, what about me?

The key to the supply closet, Maxwell. The key?

There were no lockers. And your map was crap.

This has nothing to do with you. You want me to call the cops?

This is my boy, Maxwell Matteo.

This is red with check one, two. Check one.

This whole ''I gotta get the guts to talk to dad''...

Thought you'd get away from us, huh? Let go of me!

Three baths a week? Mm hmm. With soap.

Tonight? I'm gonna perform.

Traffic at 2:00 in the morning? Yeah.

trash detail, cleaning your room. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Travis, get him a blanket? Sure.

Travis, I know Squeezea little.

Travis? Travis O'Neil.

try and look like this guy. I hate that picture.

Two days you have not been Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Alice.

Uh oh. Hey, Kazoo?

We can't find Go left! Go left!

We wanted to wait 'til all of the papers were signed.

We'll be in touch. Later... loser.

We'll see Mr. Matteo? About that. Get off me!

What are you doing here anyway?

What button? The button on the side!

What do you care? Who says I did?

What door? The loading dock door. Just press the button.

What happened? Let's go.

What if they don't like me? They already don't like you.

What is it? Don't you want him back?

What kind of tape? The master tape of last night's show.

What the #I'll make your dreams #

What the Get off the table.

What you looking for? Nothing! I'm looking for nothing!

What, are you crazy? All right.

What? I gotta get ready.

What? I'll never be your slave!

What? Maybe a football or a basketball?

What? There was nothing that I could do!

What? Why don't we sit down and talk?

what's ''grounded''? Something I'm not!

What's happening to you? I don't know. I just feel

What's the matter? Just leave me alone!

What's up, little Max? Come over here.

Where did he go? Away.

Where'd you find this, trash dumpster?

Where's my box? Don't worry about the little things.

Who am I talking to? Paul Shea, line three.

Who are you? I'm... Max.

Who let this kid in here? What's this, an amusement park?

Who put a squirrel in your shorts? Max...

Why didn't you ask me? Max

Why don't you just leave me alone? Is that a wish?

Wish I'd just what? Is that a wish?

Wow, look at that! That's some boom box.

Yeah, go get him! Watch it!

Yeah, go get him! Watch it!

Yeah, right. My name is Max, so get these facts.

Yo, the business man. Yo, what's up, man?

Yo,Jake. Two hours in detention. That sucks.

You I'm djinn...

You are a genie! What's the matter? Your tongue is broken?

You better have that tape ready by 3:00! Dad!

You can't go I think that my son is in

You don't own them! Say what?

You don't want to know. Yes, I do. Try me.

You know, like a different life. No can do, kid.

You watch your mouth. Watch yours! You lied to me!

You were kidnapped by gypsies and sold to the circus.

You? Yeah, you said I was cool.

You're late! Come on!

''Allensworth'' for he who founded a community of free blacks...

''I want Malik to have all the money in the world.''

''Jefferson'' for he who framed our fine constitution...

''Nicholas Matteo. ''

''Polar covalent bonds have an ionic '' You know this stuff?

''Sultan's gold.''

''Tuna. Home at 3:00.'' Sure.

'Cause you're blowing a whole wish! Something's wrong.

# 'Cause I am Kazaam ##

# 'Cause we moved with the harem of the Prince Akba d'Karem #

# Been there, done that He's seen it all #

# Bob your head, Max #

# Buried to our necks in sand like the sea #

# By a sultan with a sword and a lock and a key #

# By a sultan with a sword and a lock and a key #

# Come on Put it to the test #

# Come on Put it to the test #

# Come on, do your thing If you want it, Mr. Granite #

# Come true ##

# Couldn't get away too soon #

# Couldn't get away too soon #

# Couldn't get away too soon #

# Couldn't get away too soon ##

# Don't get me down with those thoughts of ethereal #

# Don't just stare Come over here and let me see you jiggy,jiggy jam it #

# Gonna make your dreams come true #

# Grab four of your friends We'll have a sextet #

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'#

# Groovin'it nice and slow #

# Groovin'it nice and slow #

# Groovin'it nice and slow #

# Groovin'it nice and slow #

# Groovin'it nice and slow #

# Had a lot of riches and material things #

# Hbur looks to me and I says to he #

# Hmm, I don't know He's kind of making me sweat #

# I am Kazaam #

# I am Kazaam I am Kazaam ##

# I did have this friend in 1000 B.C. #

# I got your sweat But can this man slam it #

# I know who I am #

# I nod to Hbur He nods to me #

# I'll save your butt But you gonna serve me #

# I'm #

# I'm lookin' at 'em, sister All Bill, Bobs and Janes #

# In your coffee, I'm the cream One wish, I get extreme #

# Is that it Is that the whole deal #

# Let's green egg and ham it #

# Like a premature burial #

# Lived as a ghost Granted wishes material #

# Living so rich Better watch my arterials #

# Man, way mystical and him, well, magical #

# My name is Kazaam I got the whole plan So listen to the man #

# Oh, nice and slow #

# Oh, square octogenarial #

# Oh, this is the original bad tan, man #

# Oh,just chill with my friends and family #

# Oh,yes I have to confess #

# On a summer's afternoon #

# On a summer's afternoon #

# On a summer's afternoon #

# On a summer's afternoon #

# One snap of my fingers, Get a scoop of Ben and Jerrial #

# Ooh party people, Come on make some noise #

# Ooh Who's the cutie over there From another planet #

# Ooh, they're in deep Will they ever get free #

# Ooh,yeah, ooh #

# Outrageous, spontaneous You can't contain this #

# Served every Tom, Dick and Harrial #

# So it's you and Hbur in 1000 B.C. #

# So, it's me and Hbur in 1000 B.C. #

# Sucking life down Like a cutlet of veal #

# Suffered a curse That was more than malarial #

# Take a picnic Don't put it off #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# Takin'it nice and easy #

# That's all I see #

# That's all I see There's nothing Nothing there for me #

# The rich man, poor man beggar man, thief #

# The summertime life Is the best one #

# The world is ours whenever we're together # # That's right #

# There ain't no place I'd like to be instead of #

# They say he's ethereal Oh, Mr. ##

# This life's not easy And I'm sure you'll see #

# To get a little stress relief #

# To the same old thing #

# Wakin'up in the mornin'#

# Well, every day people are in a rat race #

# What you want I will do #

# When you're livin'in the city It's do or die #

# With my children and missy to heart #

# You get the best of me #

# You get the best of me #

# You get the best of me #

# You should know That you've got a friend #

# You should know that you've got a friend #

# You've got to give your best To be where you want to be #

#A lady on the side Get up, get up If you can stand #

#A man with a halo and a nasty decree #

#About a bad tan Come follow me #

#Ah, nice and easy #

#All that you go through in your life #

#And I looks to Hbur and he says to me #

#And if you come to jam, baby Throw up your hands #

#And if you think that's bad Here's my age #

#And when the magic is over #

#And when the magic is over We ain't men #

#As Romeo said beforeJuliet #

#Aye, and the doctor even the priest #

#Baby,just me and you I'll make your dreams come true #

#Between the two of us Ain't nothin' we can't do #

#Between the two of us There's nothing we can't do #

#But you got me and I got you #

#Don't seem like anything is ever gonna change #

#Don't worry,yeah #

#Everyone goes through Some form of stress #

#For all that you go through in your life #

#From 45 down to 33 #

#From the river Nile to the hills of Nepal #

#Ha ha,you see what I got So let me see what you could get #

#Hang on I'm contagious #

#He's Mr. Material #

#I can't imagine anything that's better # #No way #

#I do what I do just to survive #

#I'll make your dreams come true #

#I'll make your dreams come true #

#I'm giving you my best Put your fear to rest #

#I'm gonna give my best Put your fears to rest #

#I'm more than I seem You all are lookin' at your dream #

#If you got me and I got you #

#In the struggle of life Though I chase success #

#Kings and fools They're all fish in my net #

#La la la, la la la la la la la #

#La la la, la la la la la la la #

#La la la, la la la la la la la #

#Like a record on a deck Couldn't switch the speed #

#Magical, magical #

#Man of the ages #

#Mr. Material Eat no cereal #

#Mystical and him, well, magical #

#Painted with Picasso and dined with kings #

#People couldn't or wouldn't just slow down the pace #

#People, people If you agree #

#Slide, slide Slippity slide #

#Slide, slide Slippity slide #

#Some people take a trip to the beach #

#Straight out of the pages #

#The things I seen Would make you sweat #

#There's nothing Nothing there for me #

#Those babies had rabies and we was in Hades #

#Trapped in a box #

#We ain't men, we genie #

#We genie # I can't hear you, Max!

#We genie ##

#We were buried to our necks in sand like the sea #

#Why don't we jump in that old Euphrates #

#You got to listen to my rap from bell to bell #

#You want to be a hit You better get real #