Raising Arizona (1987) Edit

A 1 information.

A blind man could tell you that.

A cop couldn't find his butt if he had a bell on it.

A dinner jacket. What do you think?

A floating spirit visiting things to come.

A free man proposing.

A future that was only eight to fourteen months away.

A man with all the powers of hell at his command.

A what Businessman?

Aah! Can I stop now?

After lockup and lights out...

All babies are beautiful.

All have chicken and dumplings

All he wanted was a hot roll and butter.

All right, boy.

All right, now!

All right, you hayseeds, it's a stickup!

All right. Now, y'all know how this here works.

All squared away.

All the windows are sealed.

Alls I know is I wake up and my wife is screaming.

Almost as good as this one.

Almost made it feel like a homecoming.

Already looking for my boy.

And a n**** born with his heart on the outside.

And all their grandchildren, too.

And anyone can find him knows the difference between a lead and a hole in the ground!

And as per usual, I wouldn't be surprised...

And as per usual, I wouldn't be surprised...

And bathroom fixture outlets throughout the Southwest.

And before you go off and do another foolish thing...

And cash their farm subsidies checks.

And check to see that you ain't cheatin'.

And every day we kept a child out of the world...

And everything goes straight to heck!

And forgive me for what I have decided I must do.

And he says, Look what I almost stepped in.

And here we are in your little domicile.

And hope medical science catches up with you...

And hoping maybe we'd broadened his horizons a little...

And housekeeping.

And I could say the same thing about Ed.

And I finally felt the pain of imprisonment.

And I think you better had, too.

And I threw it in a pot without the water, you see?

And I told Dot to lose some weight...

And I'll blow your house in.

And I'm kind of nervous.

And if we did, we apologize.

And if you can find lower prices anywhere...

And it seemed like...

And it seemed real.

And it's not a piece of the car.

And laid to waste everything in his path.

And never the twain shall meet.

And now, you're at my mercy.

And raise the nipper up?

And seeing as how you never use live ammo...

And she and Nathan had hit the jackpot.

And so it was.

And still I dreamed on...

And that hayseed over there with the red hat...

And that our child rearing years lay ahead.

And the answer to all our prayers.

And the fuckin' head in the other!

And they're a swell couple guys...

And this here's the divan...

And this was cloudier...

And we keep going until we can retire...

And where does that leave the three of us?

And where's the excitement?

And you ain't bein' true to your own nature.

And you break his nose. That ain't too funny.

And you're a bad influence in this household.

And you're the one that's gonna get his butt kicked.

Any more than those jailbirds do.

Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat.

Anything you say, Hi.

Anyway, we're approaching the wreck...

Are they still here?

Are you boys crazy?

Are you boys gonna chase down your leads...

Are you crazy?

Are you... are you satisfied, Glen?

Around the butt and up over the groin area.

As a hot prairie wind.

As a matter of fact... I did lose my job today.

As fine a pair as ever broke and entered!

As in Edward. We just like that name.

As in to swing.

As in to swing.

As soon as Florence Arizona found her little Nathan gone.

As the Tennessee Valley...

As you probably guessed...

At a store called Unpainted Huffheinz?

At first I didn't believe it...

At least one night.

Awful good cereal flakes, Miz McDunnough.

Balloons!

Be my guest, little lady.

Before he'll ever take them.

Befouling even the sweet desert breeze...

Better I should go...

Bill Parker.

Boy, you sure said something there, partner.

Boys, I can't.

Boys, this is a kind offer, but...

Boys.

Boys...this here's my wife.

Bullshit. Just tell me why you did it.

But a woman who needs a button down type.

But at the time...

But damn it, H.I...

But don't you think his mama will be upset...

But Dot wants something to cuddle.

But he was trying to make a few brownie points.

But I committed the actual crime...

But I do know human beings.

But I fear that if I stay...

But I premonised no return of the salad days.

But I thought you said it was a boy.

But I was beginning to think...

But it's Junior, all right!

But like I'm sayin', how'd you get the kid?

But prison ain't the easiest place to think.

But remember, it's still business as usual at Unpainted Arizona.

But she don't want to listen.

But she's a hellcat. T i g e r.

But still I hadn't dreamt nothing about me and Ed...

But that ain't me anymore.

But the flood of familiar sights, sounds, and faces...

But then be on your way.

But there's a spirit of camaraderie between the men...

But this is a decent family now.

But we thought it was unfair that some should have so many...

But you're just hurting yourself...

But you're wanted by the authorities...

But, hell, even if it never does for you...

But, Hi, he's your foreman. He's gonna fire you now.

But, Hi...

But, sir...

But, uh...

By Arizona Quints...

By the time you read this, I will be gone.

Can I sneak a peek a loo?

Can you give us an indication why?

Can't you try to keep from forgetting that?

Chairs, you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick!

Chicken pox, and measles.

Christian Dior, my butt.

Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come on over here, young Nathan Junior.

Come on, kids!

Come on, now.

Come on.

Come out to the street and reveal yourself.

Conspired to keep us childless.

Contribute...

Cops won't find your boy.

Correctional Facility For Men...

Could I just look at him a little bit more?

Could not bear children.

Cut it out, Glen!

Dad.

Did he fly straight down from heaven?

Didn't we just tell you not to do that?

Do you have any disgruntled employees?

Do you have anything to say to the kidnappers?

Do you see him, too?

Does the Pope wear a funny hat?

Don't be so loud around him.

Don't forget his fingers, Ed.

Don't forget his phone call, Ed.

Don't forget his profile, Ed.

Don't forget the bouquet, Ed.

Don't get me wrong... with a fine woman...

Don't honey me.

Don't make me laugh. Without my say so...

Don't print that, son.

Don't worry. I paid for it.

Don't you come back here without a baby.

Don't you cuss around him.

Don't you ever feel suffocated?

Don't you think we ought to put him to bed?

Down here, sir.

Dr. Glen is here to tell you that you can heal thyself.

Dresses like a rock star.

Dumb luck that... and we followed that...

Ed has a friend at one of the agencies.

Ed lost all interest in both criminal justice...

Ed. Ed Junior.

Ed...

Ed's got her hands full with this little angel.

Ed's little plan seemed like the solution...

Ed's pa staked us to a starter home...

Edwina's generally a real sweetheart.

Eight hundred leaf tables and no chairs?

Eight hundred Mississippi...

Eight hundred one Mississippi.

Eight Mississippi...

Either educational or football...

Either that, or you go to jail.

Either way, we're fixed for life.

Even if he couldn't remember just how they got broadened.

Even if Mrs. Arizona had more than she could handle...

Even if we do get him back, I don't want to live with you.

Ever since those jailbirds took Nathan...

Everybody down on the ground!

Everybody down on the ground.

Everybody freeze.

Except Ed was waiting at the end of every day...

Except the last Friday of every financial quarter...

Excuse me?

Factually, I bear a large percentage...

Feast your eyes, old boy!

Feast your eyes, old boy!

Fine, dear.

First off, you're fired. And that's official.

Florence Arizona is the wife of Nathan Arizona...

For he was the fury that would be...

For just the two of us...

For socializing and relaxing with the family unit.

For your bathroom, bedroom, boudoir!

Forget that part about freezing, now.

From a kindly couple...

Gale and Evelle Snoats...

Get away from Mr. McDunnough's car!

Get away from there!

Get them dip tet boosters yearly...

Get your damn feet off my coffee table!

Give me that baby, you warthog from hell!

Give me that baby!

Give me that! That's a $500 camel's hair coat!

Give you an idea.

Glen won't mind. I'll duck out with the boys...

Go find him, honey!

God damn it!

God damn it! Ain't we got enough to contend with?

God damn it! You never leave a man behind!

Good boy.

Good!

Got a name, does he?

Got it in the joint from Lawrence Spivy...

Got some baby grub, baby wipes.

Got to do that, Hi.

Got you on an awful short leash, don't she?

Government do take a bite, don't she?

Grab the baby, now!

Guess what day it is tomorrow?

H.I. McDunnough.

H.I., looks like you been up to the devil's business.

H.I.!

Ha ha ha ha! No, man, I know what you mean.

Ha ha! I heard that one.

Ha! Honey, these boys just got out of the joint...

Hang on, Nathan. We're gonna take a shortcut.

Has been swept away by the sandman.

Have showed amply...

Have we done that yet, honey?

Have we done that? We got to do that, honey.

Have you started his bank accounts yet?

He ain't too good.

He already knows his ABCs.

He could turn the day into night...

He don't know a cuss word from Shinola.

He left a scorched earth in his wake...

He smiled at me.

He stays here.

He walks into a bar with a big pile of shit in his hands...

He was especially hard on the little things...

He was horrible.

He was just having a nightmare.

He was visiting his grandparents.

He was wearing his damn jammies.

He'll hate you for it later.

He's a little outlaw. You can see that, Hi.

He's a scandal, isn't he? He's a little outlaw.

He's all right.

He's an angel straight from heaven!

He's asleep right now.

He's fine, he is.

He's got his sandwich in one hand...

He's got to have his dip tet, honey.

He's in for soliciting sex from a state trooper.

He's our little Gale Junior now.

He's out there somewhere. Something leads to him.

He's real cheerful once he warms up to you.

He's sawin' toothpicks. He'll be fine.

Hear about the paddy wagon...

Hell, no. Why wake the security guard?

Her point is that we're both kind of...

Herbert.

Here you are sitting on your butt...

Here's a rattle.

Here's the instructions.

Hi, it's 2:00 in the morning.

Hi.

Hi...

His kids thought it was funny.

His name ain't Hi Junior or Ed Junior...

His orthodontia and his university.

Hold on, H.I. Don't be such a hothead!

Hold on, H.I. Now looky there.

Hold on, Nathan. We're gonna go pick up Daddy.

Honey, could you slide over a tad...

Honey, I think I'll skip this get together myself.

Honey, I'd like you to meet...

Honey, that's the only answer.

Honey, there ain't a thing to be worried about.

Honey?

Hopefully, it will leave with me.

How are we gonna start a new life with them around?

How come is that, honey?

How come it takes three Polacks to screw up a light bulb?

How many Polacks it take to screw up a light bulb?

How somebody went and snatched one of them Arizona babies.

How?

Howdy, Kurt.

Hurry up, you dang hayseed!

Hurry up. I'm in Dutch with the wife.

I ain't a big man.

I ain't comin' in. I'll just keep my distance.

I ain't even blamin' you.

I ain't like that no more. I'm a changed man.

I ain't running a damn daisy farm.

I ain't through with you.

I am asking the questions.

I am sick of your excuses, Miles.

I appreciate your being friends of Hi...

I asked my wife. She got more sense.

I been doin' some thinkin', and I ain't too proud of myself.

I bet they were all beautiful.

I can give you a line of credit at any of my stores.

I can't say I was happy to be back inside...

I cannot tarry.

I changed my name. What of it?

I come from a long line of frontiersmen...

I didn't invite you in, Glen.

I didn't know if he was... a dream or vision...

I didn't want to hurt anyone, sir.

I do.

I don't care about myself anymore.

I don't care about us anymore.

I don't know how high this one can count.

I don't know how you come down...

I don't know, Glen.

I don't know, ma'am.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know...

I don't mean to sound superior...

I don't need another kid...

I don't particularly think that's any of your...

I doubt it.

I dreamt that Gale and Evelle had decided to return to prison.

I drifted off...

I even caught myself driving by convenience stores...

I expect he will.

I figure between the ransom and this bank...

I get the feelin' that this here ain't exactly workin' out.

I got me a packet of balloons.

I got nothing against you personally...

I got to tell you...

I guess that's why they call it a way homer.

I guess you got a reward coming.

I hear you've got one you can't put your hand to.

I hope that you will both understand...

I just love biblical names. If I had another little boy...

I just want Nathan Junior back safe.

I just want to know whether I need to use pins or fasteners.

I just wanted to be a mama.

I kind of figured that, Glen.

I know that, sir.

I know that.

I know that. We better leave.

I know where they go, old timer.

I know you do, honey.

I know you're partial to convenience stores...

I know, but, honey...

I love him so much!

I love him so much!

I love him so much!

I mean they was born to a woman named Florence Arizona.

I mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop.

I mean, overly?

I mean, we never done this before...

I mean...

I need a baby, Hi. They got more than they can handle.

I posted a twenty five grand reward for my boy.

I recommend you pay it!

I said, Five years? OK, what else you got?

I saw Glen a few years later...

I say all this to my shame.

I think I got the best one.

I think it's a shakedown.

I think it's Nathan Junior.

I think the wife and I are splitting up.

I think this is nothing but a goddamn screw job.

I think you're an evil man.

I think you're the one that took Nathan Junior...

I told you not to use my damn name.

I took him, sir.

I tried to sort through what Doc Schwartz had said...

I tried to stand up and fly straight...

I want that baby!

I want to hold him, too.

I want you to count up to eight hundred twenty five...

I want you to stay flat for ten full minutes!

I was a police officer sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States.

I was just explaining to your better half here...

I was just gonna turn you in for the reward...

I was only trying to help!

I will never be the man that you want me to be...

I...I guess I still love you, Hi.

I'd like to see them try.

I'd rather light a candle than curse your darkness.

I'll be out directly.

I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got.

I'll be waitin'!

I'll be waitin'.

I'll find him.

I'll get the boy, regardless...

I'll pitch my voice wherever I please!

I'll take care of this.

I'll take those, too.

I'm a little scared, Hi.

I'm a manhunter.

I'm awful sorry, boys, but...when Ed gets mad...

I'm barren!

I'm comin' back in five...

I'm crappin' you negative...

I'm going in town tomorrow to see about shots for the baby.

I'm gonna be a better person from here on out.

I'm gonna be down at that store in exactly twelve hours...

I'm gonna phone the cops right now.

I'm gonna show you around.

I'm not a customer.

I'm not gonna live this way, Hi.

I'm OK, you're OK. That there's what it is.

I'm sorry.

I'm talking about l'amour.

I'm talking about what they call open marriage.

I'm talking about wife swapping.

I'm talking about wife swapping.

I'm talking me and Dot are swingers...

I'm the one they call.

I'm your worst nightmare.

If he wants to discuss it, he knows where to find me...

If his mama reads that, she'll lose all hope.

If I leave...

If I'm as bad as you, what good are we to each other?

If not Arizona, then a land not too far away...

If the source of the marital friction weren't financial.

If this works out, it's just the beginning...

If we don't get him back, I don't want to go on living.

If you can find lower prices anywhere...

If you're suggesting I just up and leave Ed...

If your kid's anything like ours...

If'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion.

In a pan of boiling water.

In affiliation with the state highway system.

In an effort to better ourselves...

In suburban Tempe...

In the bedroom in his crib.

In the manner befitting a responsible adult.

In the Maricopa County Maximum Security...

Into the future...

Is he all right?

Is that a him or a her?

Is this correct?

It is now precisely...

It just ain't family life!

It looks like your whole life is set down...

It might have been an employee?

It seemed like us...

It was all she thought about.

It was kind of horrifying, honey. Let me in.

It wasn't for money or nothing.

It would be hours before he gets discovered.

It's a crazy world.

It's a little boy.

It's a long story.

It's an awful big responsibility.

It's been rumored your son was abducted by UFOs.

It's for your own protection.

It's like Doc Schwartz says.

It's like when I was robbing convenience stores.

It's not what you say it is. It's what the market will bear.

It's raining out. They got nowheres to go.

It's self contained and fairly explanatory.

It's true that Hi has had a checkered past.

Jesus! You got to have one this instant!

Junior just had a...a...an accident.

Just a man for a husband.

Just broaden your mind a little.

Just drive fast.

Just lay down on the floor, young missy.

Just one, OK?

Just run along, now. Whoa!

Keep your goddamn hands off my wife.

Keep your voice down, Glen.

Kind of late for visitors, isn't it, Hi?

Knock back a couple of Coca Colas.

Left town to... I ain't sayin' where.

Leonard Smalls.

Leonard Smalls. Big fella.

Leonard, you want some furniture or a shit box...

Let me finish.

Let me know how those come out.

Let's go get Nathan Junior!

Let's preserve the moment in pictures.

Like bustin' up...

Like Florence and me.

Like you find only in combat, maybe...

Look, if you can't have kids, you just got to keep trying...

Looky here, young sportsman.

Ma'am, you don't breast feed him...

Ma'am?

Mama would throw the live crawdad...

Many's the day we sat there and said...

Maybe he threw in one Polack joke too many.

Maybe his advisers are confused.

Maybe it wasn't such a hot idea.

Maybe it's a wife, kids, family life.

Maybe it's just that my genes got screwed up.

Maybe it's my upbringing.

Maybe she can do something for me and Dot.

Maybe that ain't such a swell idea, either.

Me and Dot went in to adopt...

Mind you don't cut yourself, Mordecai.

Mind you stay strapped in.

Mister...

Miz McDunnough, I'm worried sick about him!

Miz McDunnough!

More and more, my thoughts turned to Ed...

More than most people care for...

Mornin', Glen.

Mornin', Hi.

Mr. Arizona, he just barged in.

Mr. Byrum can take your exemplars while you talk.

Mr. McDunnough wet himself, Daddy!

My fy ance left me.

My heart is filled with anguish.

My Lord, he's cute!

My motto is Do it my way or watch your butt.

My name ain't Nathan Arizona!

My name still ain't Nathan Arizona.

Nathan Junior accepts me for what I am...

Nathan Junior would have been accessory to armed robbery.

Nathan Junior, I think.

Nathan needs some Huggies.

Need a beer, Glen?

Never mind.

Nine Mississippi...

No extra charge.

No leads? Everyone leaves microbes and whatnot.

No leads? I want Nathan Junior back...

No longer had anything to offer us.

No, I guess we don't have one yet.

No, ma'am. Hope to say.

No, no, no. Shh. Shh.

No, no, not by the hair on my chinny chin chin...

No, no.

No, sir. That's one bonehead name...

No, sir. That's who we saved him from.

No, the missis and the rest of the kids...

No!

No.

No. Hang on, honey.

No. I'm afraid not.

No. Just circular.

No. See, moving, though we are...

No. You're in a whole shitload of trouble!

Nobody sleeps naked in this house.

Nope, it takes three.

Not a pretty name, is it, Hi?

Not actually practicing, you understand.

Now, as you know...

Now, don't rush me.

Now, for fifty grand, I'll track him.

Now, H.I., if you'll pardon me for sayin' so...

Now, H.I., if you'll pardon me for sayin' so...

Now, if you can find him, claim it.

Now, if you got information...

Now, listen. You folks can't stay here.

Now, of course, I do hunt babies on occasion.

Now, y'all without sin can cast the first stone...

Now, you just lie down back there, old timer.

Of a spree to cover the entire Southwest.

Of course she'll be upset, sugar, but she'll get over it.

Of course they cried. Babies cry.

Of course. I know that.

Oh, baby! Oh, baby.

Oh, for Christ's sakes.

Oh, he's all right, he is.

Oh, here it is, dear. Turn here.

Oh, Hi, you're young and got your health.

Oh, honey...

Oh, stop. You're gonna make me bust out cryin'.

Oh, wait. There's the wife.

Oh!

Oh...

Oh...do they?

OK, good.

OK, then.

OK, then.

OK, then.

OK, then.

OK, then.

OK, you betcha.

OK.

OK. Bring him in.

On account of something went wrong with my semen.

On the incarceration question...

One day, I decided to make my own crawdad...

One of Dick Nixon's Undersecretary of Agriculture.

Open the door!

Open up! Maybe we'll let you plea bargain!

Or else they'll develop lockjaw and night vision.

Or my name ain't Nathan Arizona!

Or we get caught.

Or whichever the hell one of 'em they took!

Or...if you need home furnishings...

Ordinarily we don't associate with that type...

Other people... and mind you, I know them...

Otherwise, it would've gone smoother.

Our love for each other was stronger than ever...

Playing house with a...

Price...fair price.

Prison life is very structured...

Promise we ain't never gonna leave him, Gale.

Promise, just a day or two.

Put it back onto your sister!

Quiet evenings at home together.

Quiet, quiet, quiet.

Quiet, quiet.

Quiet, quiet.

Quiet.

Rassled their way into my slumber.

Rattle. OK?

Ray, take that diaper off your head!

Repeat offender.

Resting in the highway...

Revenge is the only argument makes any sense.

Rides a Harley.

Ron, you are upsetting the victim.

Run along, now, honey.

Say, how'd you get that kid so darn fast?

Say, that reminds me.

Say, that reminds me.

Say, that reminds me...

Say...where's Junior?

Second off, it's widely known...

Seein' as you two boys are wanted...

Seems to me, sitting here, you ain't doing her any good...

Selfish and unrealistic...

Send you money...

Seven hundred and ninety aught Mississippi...

Seven hundred and ninety one...

Seven hundred eighty five Mississippi...

Seven hundred eighty seven Mississippi...

Seven Mississippi...

She said her fiance had run off...

She thinks... she thinks you're cute.

She told me this.

She's a fine woman you got there.

She's got four little babies...

Shh. Shh. Quiet, quiet.

Shit, man, listen up. Don't you get it?

Shit, what's the matter?

Shit! I hope we didn't wake it.

Shoot, Gale, we done good.

Short for Edwina. Turn to the right!

Should I call Dwayne?

Show the tattoo!

Shut up, boy. Nobody's calling the authorities...

Simple economics.

Sir, you might want to wash your hands.

Six Mississippi...

Smalls, first off, get your damn feet off my furniture!

Smalls.

So come on down to Unpainted Arizona...

So far, we just been using Junior.

So here's Bill walking down Nine Mile...

So if you need to call the authorities...

So let's go, honey.

So little time.

So many social engagements...

So we ain't too good for each other.

So we figure it kind of evens out.

So we got to show a little hospitality.

So we worked at it on the days we calculated most likely to be fruitful...

So we'll call the baby Glen Junior from now on.

So...you must have your good points, too.

So's you don't ruin your appreciation of the finer things.

Soak his thumb in iodine you might get by without orthodontia.

Some say part hound dog.

Someone ought to sell tickets.

Sometimes your career has got to come before family.

Son of a bitch.

Son, you got a panty on your head.

Soon after, she tendered her badge.

Splattered your brains all over the interstate?

Station wagon. Looks nice.

Stay away from me, McDunnough!

Suppose we go in there and get ourselves killed?

Suppose you tell it.

Sure hate to think of Florence leaving me.

Sure, H.I.

Sure, H.I.

Sure, I'd buy one.

Taking pride in his accomplishments...

Tell him I think he's a damn fool, Ed.

Thank you, honey, but you really didn't have to do this.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

That a brighter future lay ahead...

That ain't the point, Hi.

That ain't the reason I come out here.

That Buford's a sly one.

That collided with the cement mixer, Ed?

That night I had a dream.

That night, I had a dream.

That old timer threw off my concentration...

That son of a bitch.

That there's the kitchen area where Ma and Pa chow down.

That was beautiful.

That weren't on the way home.

That when we were tunneling out...

That whipped across his brow.

That would be pretty damn cowardly, wouldn't it?

That'll pay more than $25,000 for a healthy baby.

That's a disease, but you got a cure.

That's final. That's absolutely the way it's gonna be.

That's for us to know, and y'all to find out.

That's good!

That's my business. I'm a tracker.

That's official. You were right, I was wrong.

That's somebody who's thinking big.

That's the way I'd rather handle it. Tax reasons.

That's what Doc Schwartz says.

That's why we wound up in prison.

That's your whole goddamned raison d'etre, ain't it?

The Arizona Quints was born.

The biggest news hit the state since they built the Hoover Dam.

The day I'll never forget.

The Farmers & Mechanics Bank of La Grange.

The first time I met Ed...