♬ Elf (2003) Soundboard

A confirmation that Santa must've been sighted...

A minus 8.

A Real HUF board. Lookie here.

A reprint. You know how much that's gonna cost?

A song?

Actually, I'm adopted.

Actually, there's a big difference.

Ah. Wow.

Ahem.

All he cares about is money. Doesn't care about you or me or anybody.

All right, ahem, what have you guys got so far?

All right, just bring them by the camper this weekend. I'll see what I can do.

All right, let's do this.

All right, let's get it over with.

All right.

All the mail comes out that shooter.

All you care about is yourself.

ALL: Hey! Hey!

ALL: The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

ALL: There's room for everyone on the nice list.

ALL: Treat every day like Christmas.

Also, never close your eyes because then you'll get sick.

An elf?

And as for me, I can't complain.

And as you may have guessed, that's where our story begins.

And every year, less and less people believe in Santa Claus.

And guess what

And he wants me to sing him a song

And heat makes noise when it comes on.

And his spirit saved a lot of other people too.

And how she had later passed away.

And I had time to build that rocking horse.

And I was adopted

And in six months, you'll have to check them again. Won't he?

And lunch.

And lunch. Bye.

And most importantly, I told him where his father was.

And one day, when Buddy was old enough, I made him my own personal apprentice.

And she didn't tell you. And....

And so Buddy was sent where the special elves work.

And that is to build toys in Santa's workshop.

And the only one who I would want working on my sleigh tonight.

And the strain was too much.

And the trolls weren't toilet trained.

And then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.

And then, to finish, we'll snuggle.

And they sort it out there, see? And you can touch it all.

And we never met

And you got a great mouth. The thing just dropped in Central Park.

Another interesting elfism:

Apparently, all we have is vegetables.

Are you crazy? He cannot stay here.

Are you enjoying the view?

Are you gonna sing a song or something? Or can I just go back to work?

Are you kidding? He's the worst dad in the world.

Are you okay?

As much as Buddy was accepted by his family and friends...

As soon as possible?

As soon as possible.

As you can imagine, it's dangerous having an oven in an oak tree...

At least you have a daddy.

At that time, I would love to hear in exact detail...

Attaboy.

Attaboy. Thank you.

Back off, slick. You'll scare the deer.

Be my guest.

Beautiful.

Because he's the greatest dad in the whole wide world.

Before I get into the story, uh, let me start with the cover, okay?

Before we learn how to build the latest in extreme graphic chipset processors...

Believe me, we're already looking for new printers.

Best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.

Boy, am I glad to see you.

Boy, you're hilarious, my friend.

BOY: Get them. Hit the green guy.

BOY: Go away.

Bud, have you ever seen a mailroom?

Buddy comes up to visit from time to time.

Buddy is killing me.

Buddy, Buddy.

Buddy, don't eat those.

Buddy, I think there's something I probably should tell you.

Buddy, I think we have to talk.

Buddy, I've been around the world many times...

Buddy, is that you?

Buddy, not now. Can you please go back to the pit?

Buddy, we better get going. Get in now.

Buddy, we need power. We're gonna crash.

Buddy, where are you?

Buddy, you're more of an elf than anyone I ever met.

BUDDY: And then I traveled to the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest...

BUDDY: Dad, I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it.

BUDDY: Hm?

BUDDY: I'm sorry I ruined your lives...

BUDDY: Look out. Yellow ones don't stop.

BUDDY: Me? Yes.

BUDDY: No, it's not.

BUDDY: Not now, arctic puffin.

BUDDY: Oh. Uh....

BUDDY: We sing all the time. No, there's not.

BUDDY: You have a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card.

Buddy?

Buddy.

Buddy....

Building this.

But at least Michael is happy for once.

But Buddy, he's in the park with Santa.

But I really wanted to see you and I think you're beautiful...

But I'm free on Thursday.

But I've worn this my whole life.

But now I'm here. It's me, Buddy.

But Santa's coming. There's so much to do.

But some spontaneous Christmas caroling has broken out...

But the children love the books.

But the thing is, I've never even left the North Pole.

But the third job...

But they're self conscious about the way their pee smells.

But we are buddies.

By the way, I think you have the most beautiful singing voice...

Bye bye, Buddy.

Bye, guys.

Bye.

Can I eat in my room?

Can we go there?

Can you pass the maple syrup?

Can't wait to see my dad.

Can't we do this another time, Mr. Greenway?

Candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

Channel three. Code word is "Santa's got a brand new bag."

CHARLOTTE: Dick, according to authorities, the area has been cleared.

CHARLOTTE: Did you see something? MICHAEL: Santa needs us to believe.

CHARLOTTE: Okay, well, further confirmation...

CHARLOTTE: So the authorities have not discovered any reindeer in the park?

Christmas is the greatest day in the whole wide world.

Christmas spirit.

Chuck.

Clearly, he has some serious issues.

Come here, little one.

Come here. I wanna talk to you.

Come on, Buddy, how many?

Come on, let's try to get a storyboard ready.

Coming.

Cool.

Could you tell me more about what you saw fall from the sky?

CROWD: Oh!

D. D.

Dad, hi! It's me!

Dad, I gotta talk to you.

Dad, Michael.

Dad!

Dad?

Dad's eating in his room.

DEB: Ah! Whoa!

DEB: Sir, Chuck in the mailroom needs to talk to you.

Debra, hang up.

Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?

Did you hear that?

DlCK: Charlotte? Charlotte?

Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend?

Do you wanna go eat food?

Do you wanna go?

Does Santa know that you left the workshop?

Does someone need a hug?

Don't look. There you go.

Each one of them with a 70 inch plasma screen.

Eighty five hundred reindeer power jet turbine engine.

Eighty five.

ELF 1: Ooh, that's bad.

ELF 2: You changed the batteries in the smoke detector.

ELF 3: And you're the only baritone in the elf choir.

Elves love to tell stories. I'll bet you didn't know that about elves.

EMILY: Hi, it's me.

EMILY: I almost forgot my

EMILY: Oh, my gosh, you actually made that?

EMILY: You like sugar, huh?

Emily?

Emily. Can I just speak to you for a minute in the kitchen, please?

Empire State Building.

Especially in front of other people.

Especially when we make toys.

EUGENE: We should go with the first pitch. It's genius.

Even if those two pages were in there, the book still would've sucked.

Everybody knows that.

Everybody's pushing small town rural. Farm book would just be white noise.

Except it smells like mushrooms...

Except louder and longer and you move your voice up and down.

Excuse me. I'm here to see a Walter Hobbs.

Excuse me. Thank you, excuse me.

First off, you see gum on the street, leave it there.

First quarter?

Food.

FOOM FOOM: lf he hasn't figured out he's a human by now...

Fortunately, when it comes to babies, Santa's a pushover.

Four hundred ninety.

Francisco.

Francisco. That's fun to say. Francisco.

Fruit spray? Sure.

Get back to the story, please.

Get out of here. Get out of here.

Get out of my life, now!

Get out!

Get out! Don't look at me!

Get.

GIMBELS SANTA: He's kidding.

Go ahead.

Go away.

Go look and see.

Go, Buddy. Go, Mr. Elf.

God.

Good idea. You call me.

Good morning, Sarah. That's a nice purple dress.

Gotta hurry up, I'm double booked for the rest of the afternoon.

Great job, everybody.

Great. I got a full 40 minutes.

Greenway is coming in tomorrow so, what? What do we got?

GREENWAY: Hobbs, Hobbs, Hobbs!

GREENWAY: We need a big launch, fast, to get the company back on track.

Have a good day. Oh, I forgot to give you a hug.

Have you seen the numbers for this quarter?

He bailed me out. They gave me one phone call.

He didn't make master tinker till he was 490.

He must be a South Pole elf.

He thinks he's a Christmas elf.

He thinks he's an elf.

He'll be here to take pictures with all the children.

He's a fake!

He's a fake! He's a fake!

He's a liar.

He's an angry elf.

He's an imposter!

He's gonna destroy the place.

He's had some tough times down at the farm.

He's not Santa Claus! He's not Santa!

He's probably just reverting to a state of childlike dependency.

He's told me 15 times.

He's written more classics than Dr. Seuss.

Hello? Hello?

Here we are.

Hey, Buddy, wanna pick some snow berries?

Hey, Buddy.

Hey, come. Come here!

Hey, guys. Have you seen the place?

Hey, have you seen these toilets?

Hey, hey.

Hey, I'm gonna eat in the bedroom, okay? I got a bunch of stuff to go over.

Hey. What's your name?

Hi, Leon.

Hi.

Hi. Hello.

His first book was written by a brand new, critically acclaimed children's author.

His name is Buddy. He must have

His sleigh won't fly. Nobody believes in him.

Hm?

Ho ho ho!

Ho ho ho.

Hold it, if you're really Santa Claus, then

How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?

How do you like them apples?

How many? Eight?

How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework, huh?

I already got Lum Lum and Choo Choo pulling doubles.

I am not gonna tuck you in.

I bought the desk. My name's there so no one steals it.

I can prove he's real. Look, this is his list.

I can sing, but I just choose not to sing.

I didn't know you had elves working here.

I didn't know you were naked.

I didn't mean anything I said back there. Not a word.

I didn't put it.... it's spaghetti.

I don't belong anywhere.

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.

I don't care that you're an elf, that you're nuts.

I don't care that you're my son!

I don't know if this is the hard hitting news you're used to covering in Buffalo.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what you're making such a big deal about.

I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job, but look, let's remain a team.

I don't know, Connie. I've never declawed kittens before.

I don't think this is the place my dad was talking about.

I don't want you to leave.

I flew in just to hear this pitch and I intend to.

I found you, Daddy

I get more action in a week than you've had your entire life.

I got a plan.

I got one idea that I'm especially psyched out of my mind about.

I hadn't really planned it out, but I was thinking, like, forever.

I hate to do this, but can you help me pick up the slack on those Etch A Sketches?

I have no time, so, you know....

I heard you singing.

I just like to smile. Smiling's my favorite.

I knew that you'd come. I love you for coming.

I knew you'd find it, Mr. Elf.

I know him.

I know you are.

I know you may be a little, um....

I know, I'm right, I listen to you. You have great ideas.

I know, you see, I told you guys.

I know. I'm in work clothes.

I love him so much and I think he's the greatest dad in the world.

I love syrup.

I love you, I love you, I love you

I love you.

I love you. I'll call you in five minutes.

I made 85.

I mean, as soon as possible.

I mean, just see how low the Clausometer is.

I mean, look at that.

I mean, not really.

I mean, parents couldn't do that all in one night.

I mean, we have a real energy crisis on our hands.

I mean, what are we gonna do? We can't leave him alone here.

I mean, wow. Wow.

I need an elf's help.

I need the interior of that car to be 71 degrees exactly.

I need to tell you something.

I painted a picture of a butterfly.

I promise I'll go right to sleep.

I put them on the naughty list and they never forgave me.

I said, "I know who I'm gonna call. Walter Hobbs."

I saw something fall from the sky into the middle of Central Park.

I saw you at the retreat. You're looking good.

I see.

I see. And, uh, is this an emergency?

I think they're too small.

I think we should take a $30,000 bath so some kid can understand...

I thought the magical reindeer made the sleigh fly.

I walked all day and night to find you.

I wanna hear the damn thing now. Son, you'll have to wait.

I wanna make shoes!

I was his adopted father.

I was just rolled up one day and left out here in the cold.

I was walking around, I saw this thing and my daughter pointed it out to me.

I....

I'll be okay. I just need a glass of water.

I'll come and visit you in a little while, okay?

I'll put in a good word with the big man.

I'll see you tomorrow.

I'll start with the cover. Picture this.

I'll try. Papa taught me how.

I'm 26 years old, I got nothing to show for it.

I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins.

I'm Buddy the elf.

I'm Charlotte Dennon, New York One.

I'm getting too old for this job.

I'm gonna be a little bit short on today's quota.

I'm gonna be back in town on the 24th.

I'm gonna be later than I thought, okay?

I'm here with another eyewitness who has his own version.

I'm here with my dad

I'm in a store And I'm singing

I'm not an elf, Santa. I can't do anything right.

I'm not done with the engine.

I'm not gonna charge you, bring them by and I'll see what I can do.

I'm not messing with you.

I'm scared, Dad. He's gone.

I'm singing I'm in a store, and I'm singing

I'm skipping, I'm skipping.

I'm sorry, Papa.

I'm sorry, what?

I'm standing here outside Central Park...

I'm the worst toy maker in the world.

I'm usually the one making breakfast.

I've been to New York thousands of times.

I've gotta go to work, Buddy.

If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio.

If you sing alone, you can sing in front of others. No difference.

If you wanna keep your job, Hobbs, you will pitch me this book right now.

In a good way.

Is there sugar in syrup?

It ain't gonna be easy, but I think it's worth a shot.

It dropped off the sleigh back over there a ways.

It is a crappy cup of coffee.

It sounds like this:

It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee.

It worked. It's you.

It's a boy. Buddy's your son.

It's a Kringle 3000.

It's a little complicated, but it's nothing that we can't handle.

It's a thrill just to be talking to you on our speaker phone.

It's a wonderful place filled with wondrous creatures.

It's all right, Buddy.

It's existential yet it's so accessible.

It's gonna have to wait.

It's great to meet you.

It's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture.

It's me, Buddy. Your brother.

It's me, your son. Susan Welles had me.

It's me!

It's Miles Finch's notebook. This thing is chock full of genius ideas.

It's not evil, Buddy, it's the radiator.

It's not very shiny.

It's scary to look at. It's....

It's sucky.

It's the Central Park Rangers.

It's the real Santa. We need to get these cameras back on.

It's time to go to sleep.

It's very purply.

It's very sucky.

JOVIE: Come with me.

JOVIE: Do I wanna eat food?

JOVIE: Hi.

JOVIE: Well, I just had my lunch break.

Jovie.

Just how many Etch A Sketches did you get finished?

Just keep your receipts.

Just need some alone time.

Just reach out in front of you and take a sip.

Just who the heck are you and what is your problem?

KID: This is neat.

Kids, they're already vulnerable.

L'd like a black S500 to receive me at the airport.

L'll be there tomorrow. Seventy one degrees.

L'll never forget you. Love, Buddy.

Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog.

Leon says New York is pretty different.

Let me just finish this meeting and then we'll figure it out, okay?

Let the kid talk.

Let's go.

Like who?

Listen, it's a place where mail from all over the world comes.

Listen, Miles. Listen, Miles.

Ln a magical land called New York City.

Lookie here.

Looks like a Christmas tree.

Ls singing loud for all to hear

Lt was amazing. And everybody's going crazy.

Lt was Santa's sleigh.

Lt's a job only an elf can do.

Lt's the profession that every elf aspires to.

Make work your favorite. That's your favorite, okay?

MAN [ON PA]: Attention all Gimbels shoppers.

MAN 2: Can you sign this for me?

MANAGER: Psst.

MANAGER: This is the North Pole.

Maybe all they need is just a little Christmas spirit.

Maybe by next Christmas, you'll have a home.

Maybe it isn't the printer who's gotten sloppy.

Merry Christmas, my angel.

Merry Christmas.

Michael, Michael.

Michael, wait up.

Michael, where you going? Michael.

Michael, would you open this hatch for me, please?

MICHAEL: All right, I got every weapon in the game.

MICHAEL: Oh, man. One got away.

MICHAEL: Ornaments. Ornaments. Okay.

MICHAEL: The girl you're staring at.

Michael.

Miles Finch.

Miles, I'm sorry. He thinks he's an elf.

Miles, so, what do you think? Can you fly in tomorrow?

MILES: Great.

MILES: I'll give you five hours tomorrow, not a minute more.

MILES: That's it, I'm gone. Miles.

MING MING: Hey, Foom Foom.

MING MING: I feel bad for the guy. I just hope he doesn't get wise.

MING MING: You're just special.

MORRIS: And his best idea is about a peach that lives on a farm.

MORRIS: Uh....

Mr. Finch, Eugene Dupree here.

My dad works there?

My favorite book of yours has gotta be Gus' Pickles.

My finger has a heartbeat.

My name's Buddy.

My people estimate we're gonna post a minus 8 for this quarter.

My two top writers, my crack team, my fun squad...

Never been in this room before.

Nice raccoon! I just wanted a hug.

No human being has ever set foot in Santa's workshop.

No problem. Be great to have you in the loop.

No tomatoes. Too vulnerable.

No, Buddy, there's something I have to tell you right now. Um....

No, Buddy, you're not a cotton headed ninny muggins.

No, but things worked out pretty good. They gave me a restraining order.

No, don't tell my kid what to do.

No, hold on, Miles. Deb, hang up.

No, it's the world's best cup of coffee.

No, Michael. Wait, it's your brother. Mich

No, no. Buddy, don't, uh....

No, there isn't. Wait.

No, we don't do that kind of work here, pal.

No, you're not. You're just moving your lips.

No!

No. I just wanted to meet you and I thought you might wanna meet me.

No. No. All right?

Nope. Not Santa.

Not candy. And if she says yes, you're in.

Not just a skateboard.

Not too fast, Buddy.

Now go.

Now, just picture this:

Now, look at the size of this one.

Now, over here is the trench.

Number one.

Of course you can.

Of course you're not. You're 6 foot 3 and had a beard since you were 15.

Officer Tom, this is my dad. This is Walter.

Oh, and another thing, if you're gonna be staying here...

Oh, come on, Walter. I'm sure he doesn't actually think he's an elf.

Oh, good. And then after that?

Oh, I know that.

Oh, I love it.

Oh, it's easy. It's like talking.

Oh, it's not a costume. I'm an elf.

Oh, it's very sucky.

Oh, my God. Walter, this is wonderful.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. No, I can't stay home tomorrow. I have a budget meeting tomorrow.

Oh, no. These guys are bad news.

Oh, thank you, Jovie. That's very sweet.

Oh, that's good.

Oh, wait. Yes, it is.

Oh, wonderful. Yes.

Oh, yeah, sure, he just got off the cell phone with me.

Oh! Ah!

Oh.

Oh. I'm a human raised by humans.

Okay, I love you. Bye.

Okay, I understand.

Okay, I'll come back later.

Okay, I'll work there.

Okay, I'm going toward....

Okay, I'm gonna hang up now.

Okay, it's okay, it's okay. Everything's fine.

Okay, just start making as many snowballs as you can.

Okay, people, tomorrow morning, 10 a.m., Santa's coming to town.

Okay, the tree thing was bad. I'll get him to plant another one.

Okay, when you feel comfortable, you just jump in.

Okay?

Okay? Because if I go, we all go.

Okay.

Okay. Go to sleep now.

Okay. Well, obviously, we have a new development in the story.

Okay. What have we got here?

Only the Central Park Rangers now remain in the Park.

Only two weeks left till Christmas.

Ooh.

Our nimble fingers, natural cheer and active minds...

PAPA ELF: And so, with a little help, Buddy managed to save Christmas.

PAPA ELF: Buddy, are you okay?

PAPA ELF: I then proceeded to tell Buddy of how his father...

PAPA ELF: I'll always be here for you.

PAPA ELF: Oh, hello.

PAPA ELF: Where do the reindeer get their magic from?

Papa says my real father lives in a magical place far away.

Passion fruit spray?

Picture this:

Please make your final purchases.

Police. Hello?

Poppy wants to see you.

Pull, Dancer. Pull, Dasher.

Quick thinking yesterday with that "special talents" thing.

Really?

Really? What's it like?

Right.

Santa must have called you.

Santa, here? I know him.

Santa, I caught up.

Santa, I'm not done with the engine yet.

Santa, why are they chasing us?

SANTA: All right, all right.

SANTA: Come on, you can do it.

SANTA: Go!

SANTA: Hyah! Hyah!

SANTA: Just a little more.

SANTA: Listen, some people, they just lose sight of what's important in life.

SANTA: Prancer, whoa, come on, come on.

SANTA: So I hear you're going on a little journey to the big city.

SANTA: Wait. Wait, Michael, my list.

SANTA: Yah! Yah! Yah!

Santa's coming.

Santa's sleigh.

Santa's sleigh. Well, there you have it. Santa's in Manhattan.

Scan and find the floor each piece is moving to.

Second, there are, like, 30 Ray's Pizzas.

See, Buddy, you're not a cotton headed ninny muggins.

See, I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to make me feel bad...

Seems like everyone else has the same talents except for me.

Ship them.

Six inch ribbon curls, honey.

Slap it on real quick. We've got to get going.

Snowball.

Snuck into your sack at the orphanage.

So Buddy stayed with an older elf who had always wanted a child...

So did you, uh, sleep okay last night?

So felonies are fun now? I thought, see, felonies were felonies.

So good news, I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog?

So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face...

So I think I speak for my fellow board members when I say:

So I'm here now

So on the cover above the title....

So Santa had a decision to make.

So where were you for the last 30 years?

So will you be staying with us, then?

So you're really Santa Claus?

So, Dad, I planned out our whole day.

So, uh, you're...?

So, um, you'd like me to breast feed him?

So, what are we gonna build?

So, what are you doing here? Did Gimbels give you your job back?

So?

So....

Son of a nutcracker.

Sorry I can't ride the rest of the way, but this is where my dad works.

Sorry to interrupt your first big news story, Charlotte...

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sounds like someone needs to sing a Christmas carol.

Special talents, in fact, like.... Special talents?

Stan Tobias wants a power pumper water rifle."

Sure enough, you showed up. You did.

Sure.

Susan Welles. You said Susan Welles?

Sweetheart, can you tell me what you saw falling out of the sky?

Syrup in coffee?

TEACHER: Number three.

TEACHER: Number two.

Tell me, Michael, what do you want for Christmas?

Tell me, where'd you get this picture?

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks, Buddy.

Thanks, but I don't sing.

Thanks. Your costume is pretty.

That does not happen.

That doesn't mean they can't find their way again. Huh?

That frigging puppy and pigeon are tanking hard, Hobbs.

That is, until about 30 years ago.

That puts you...

That you haven't exactly been there for him.

That's That's ridiculous.

That's a joke, isn't it, Dad?

That's good. That's good.

That's okay. You get started, I'll catch up.

That's shocking.

That's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.

That's very impossible.

That's what I would do.

That's why I came up with this little beauty in the '60s.

That's your signature, right?

The best way to spread Christmas cheer

The book was Elf, a fictional story about an adopted elf named Buddy...

The Clausometer suddenly just dropped down to zero.

The engine broke free of her mounts.

The first is making shoes at night, while, you know, while the old cobbler sleeps.

The Miles Finch?

The North Pole.

The only thing that people can agree on...

The paparazzi have been trying to nail me for years.

The sleigh won't fly because there's no Christmas spirit.

The sooner you sit still, the sooner we can get this mess over with.

The trick is to not get your arm caught in the door.

The whole world saw me, all would be lost.

Then eat a roll of Toll House cookie dough as fast as we can.

Then lose the tights.

Then yes!

There are only three jobs available to an elf.

There seems to be a strange man dressed as an elf...

There we are. There you are.

There, there.

There's a horrible noise coming from the evil box underneath the window.

There's just no Christmas spirit anymore.

These forces are highly trained but rarely see action.

They all claim to be the original, but the real one's on 11 th.

They shut my water off.

They tried using gnomes and trolls...

They're ginormous.

They're kind of pissed about this.

This better be good.

This is incredible.

This one has obviously gotten sloppy.

Though Buddy grew twice as fast...

Thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses and eat cookie dough...

Tickle fight, tickle fight.

Two whole pages are missing. The story doesn't make any sense.

Usually you guys just, you know, put my name into "Jingle Bells" or something.

Very generous of you.

Vixen, up, up.

Wait a minute. The 24th, that's Christmas Eve.

Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute, one more, one more.

Wait.

Wait. Um....

Walter here.

Walter started his own independent publishing company.

Walter, Buddy has made us breakfast. Isn't that nice?

Walter, he's your son.

Walter, just bring him home. Introduce him to Emily and Michael.

WALTER: "To someone special."

WALTER: Francisco. Hello, Mr. Hobbs.

WALTER: I really can't talk right now. Just tell me how the pitch went.

WALTER: Uh huh.

We all just have different talents, that's all.

We better get out of here.

We bring in Miles Finch.

We can get some news cameras in here...

We can't just throw him out in the snow.

We don't have time to reschedule.

We elves try to stick to the four main food groups:

We open on a young tomato.

We were thinking something like this:

We'll be closing in 10 minutes.

We'll eat sugarplums and have gingerbread houses and we'll even paint eggs.

We'll make snow angels and then we'll go ice skating.

We're gonna go ice skating and eat sugarplums.

We're gonna have to reschedule this, Mr. Greenway.

We're gonna ship a new book the first quarter.

We're just going to make you feel so comfortable.

We've got power.

We've had another very successful year.

Well, as silly as it sounds...

Well, before the turbine days...

Well, chemically imbalanced, but you've been right about a lot of things.

Well, don't be too late, Walter, it's Christmas Eve.

Well, he is on the naughty list.

Well, honey, I can't take off. I'm one bad pitch away from getting fired, one.

Well, I don't think it's any secret, Walter,

Well, I got to work here. Maybe you can work there.

Well, I guess we'll never know for sure...

Well, I tell you what. I have an idea then.

Well, I think it's time you start your tinker training.

Well, I'm good at that.

Well, if he hasn't figured out he's a human by now...

Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?

Well, it's time for me to go home.

Well, just make sure he knows it's from me, his son, okay?

Well, look who it is.

Well, looks like we got a short in the thermo coupler.

Well, Morris and I have been brainstorming...

Well, still no sign of Santa.

Well, technically, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves.

Well, that's great.

Well, there are some things you should know.

Well, there's a rumor floating around that the parents do it.

Well, this is really something.

Well, to be honest, I got a call from my niece.

Well, up yours.

Well, you should know.

Well, your dad's busy right now.

Well?

What about Santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat them too?

What about this? A tribe of asparagus children.

What about?

What are you doing down there?

What did you actually see?

What do we do?

What happened?

What he needs is to be nurtured.

What in the name of Sam Hill is that?

What is this, some kind of game? What do you want, some money?

What the hell...?

What we know is, authorities have closed the park...

What were you doing here so early?

What would you like to do?

What?

What? What could be going on down there...

What's a Christmas gram? I want one.

What's that supposed to mean?

What's this?

What's your name?

Where did you get all the wood?

Where did you say you were from?

Where you going now? Where you going?

Who do they think puts all their toys under the tree?

Who sent this Christmas gram?

Who wouldn't wanna meet you?

Whoa.

Why didn't I think of that? Can I try some?

Why don't we just pull him out of school and let the deranged elf man raise him?

Why don't you ask her out?

Why don't you just say it?

Why don't you take Buddy to work with you?

Why don't you take off tomorrow, you know...

Why is there a skeleton? If I squint, he looks like a pirate flag.

Why is your name on the desk?

Why not? He loves the snow.

Why the long face, partner?

Why were you here so early?

Why you messing with me? Did Crumpet put you up to this?

Why you smiling like that?

Why, of course I am. Ho ho ho.

Will you fix it for me, Buddy?

Without it, the sleigh couldn't get more than a few feet off the ground.

WOMAN: Oh, your daughter saw it?

WOMAN: You're taking the books back?

Won't hurt so much after a little.

Wonderful. Gosh, I guess I never really thought of it that way.

World's best cup of coffee.

Would you mind taking this to your first born?

Wow, that's a big one.

Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you.

Wow.

Yeah, Buddy, that's a joke.

Yeah, I know. I know.

Yeah, I think someone sent you a Christmas gram.

Yeah, you're not gonna come back for a while, okay?

Yeah.

Yeah. Anything for you, Dad.

Yeah. I've got about five or six great starts here.

Yeah. Uh Heh heh.

Yellow ones don't stop.

Yep. Kind of nervous.

Yes, Bud?

Yes.

You You have another son.

You are so weird.

You are very good at decorating that tree.

You believed in me. You made my sleigh fly.

You bring that list back right now, you hear me?

You bring us down a whole octave.

You can bake cookies in a tree.

You can't sit down and get a storyboard ready.

You did it! Congratulations.

You disgust me. How can you live with yourself?

You don't have to call me, okay?

You don't look so good, Buddy. Are you okay?

You feeling strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time.

You get the hell out of here.

You gotta find it first.

You guys are so strong.

You just made my day.

You know what, I know I sound like a broken record.

You know what? I think I have some.

You know what? We can take them.

You know, Buddy, your father...

You know, he wasn't lying.

You know, I'm the one that ran the focus groups, but I like hearing that.

You know, it's one of those ideas where you're just like, yes!

You know, on a date. To eat food.

You know, uh, the code.

You know, we're all laughing our heads off.

You like her?

You look hilarious.

You look like you came from the North Pole.

You mean I can stay?

You never can tell, kid.

You probably have.

You probably should've found out a long A long time ago.

You saw that guy out there. He's certifiably insane.

You shop on your break. You don't come....

You sit on a throne of lies.

You smell like beef and cheese. You don't smell like Santa.

You sure did. Triple A's.

You sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked?

You think some kid's gonna notice two pages? All they do is look at pictures.

You, ahem You just lay there and go to sleep.

You're an elf.

You're eating here.

You're finished!

You're gonna help me make it fly.

You're my best friend, that's it. You're my best friend.

You're my son and I love you.

You're not in the North Pole any longer.

You're not supposed to be down here.

You're probably here about the story.

You're welcome, Papa.

You're young. You're so young.

Your eyes tell the story. That's what I love about you.

A Christmas tree? Buddy chopped it down in the park.

Am I sick? Yeah, but we're here to do a test.

Am I too loud? Just a little.

And they put it in these shiny bins. Shiny bins.

Are you mad at me? No.

Are you okay? I'm fine.

Are you ready to see Santa? Santa!

Are you sure? I'm just way behind on a bunch of stuff.

Buddy the elf. What's your favorite color?.

Buddy, go back to the basement. MILES: Hey, jackweed.

Buddy. Jovie.

Buddy. Mm?

Bye bye. SANTA: Just like the old days.

Bye, Buddy. Bye, Buddy.

Can I listen to your necklace? No, you can't. Sit still

Come here! I can't.

Come on, let's do it. Just try.

Come with me. Okay.

Dad. What?

Does he have a big coat too? Go away.

Does he have a name? No. I'm sorry, Ben.

Emily. How long do you think you'll be with us?

Food? Yes, real food.

Francisco. Buddy.

From the North Pole? Yes.

Get through?

Go and get a storyboard ready. EUGENE: Okay. Go.

Good morning, Mr. Hobbs. Morning, Sarah.

Good, I'm gonna hang up now. I tuned the piano.

Good? Good. Good.

Great. What? You're gonna love it. It's fantastic.

He got mad at me. Yes, he did. He did.

He needs our help. Hey, Michael.

Heh heh heh. What's your name?

Hello, Buddy. Oh.

Hello. Hey.

Here at New York One, news is top priority.

Hey, Buddy, how you doing? Santa!

Hey, turn the cameras back on. Who told you to say that?

Hey, Walter. Morning, Jack.

Hey, you. Me?

Hi, Jovie. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

Honey, I gotta go, okay? Love you. Say hi to Buddy.

How are we gonna get the star on top? I got it.

How much time we got? We got, like, 45 minutes.

How'd you get this number? Emily left an emergency list.

How'd you like to be dead? Huh? Fake?

I can't go to sleep unless I get tucked in.

I do not hold. Do not put me on hold. DEB: We have a problem in the mailroom.

I got full Michael, it's me, Buddy.

I got full health. I got full armor. BUDDY: Michael.

I got really good ideas. Yeah, I believe it.

I just try to go with the flow. Go with the flow.

I think we should call Security. Good idea.

I told them the very same thing. And no farms.

I wanted a skateboard. SANTA: Oh.

I wish Dad were here. Why?

I'm a fake? Yes.

I'm Carolyn. Hi.

I'm just trying to get through the holidays.

I'm not kidding. You're a fake.

I'm Walter Hobbs. Yeah, let's get the, uh....

I've got houses in L.A., Paris and Vale. Oh.

I've got news for you.

Is that okay? MICHAEL: You did great, man.

Is there a different mailroom? No, this is the only one.

It sounds great. Good.

It's cold. Yeah, just please sit still.

it's me on the intercom. Go ahead.

It's time for the announcement. Okay.

Just cool it, Zippy. WOMAN: Smile.

Michael, please, what's the big deal? Dad.

Michael, what is it? Buddy ran away.

Michael. Mom.

Miles Finch. Miles Finch.

Miles, I'm so happy you could come. Yeah.

Must be another Dirk Lawson. "Dave Keckler wants some Nike Shox."

My papa.... Yeah?

No problem. I appreciate it.

No sleigh bells either. Elves?

No, I gotta get out of the flow. Well, then get out

No, no reindeer. Sleigh bells?

No, none of that. It's him, it's the real Santa.

No? Oh. No.

No? Well.... No, no, no.

No. Why not?

Oh, my God.

Oh, paint eggs, that's Easter. Right.

Oh, uh, this is Michael. I'm his brother.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. I'll take this. Okay.

Papa Elf? Mm hm. From the North Pole.

Please stop talking to me. Uh oh.

Please, don't touch anything. Sorry.

Really? Really.

Remember me? I do. I didn't recognize you.

Sir, what did you see? I think you're great, Charlotte.

Sit still so I can do the finger prick. Finger prick!

So go on. Go on with what?

So how old are you, son? Four.

So how'd you get here? Work release.

So, Dad, how many scoops? I'll stick with the coffee now, thanks.

Take care. Bye bye.

Taken care of so we can get started. Right, here you go.

Ten a.m. tomorrow. Ten a.m. tomorrow.

Thank you, Debra. Thanks, Deb.

That's impossible. Six inches.

The engine? The engine, yeah.

The golden ghost. We bring him in.

Then can we eat sugarplums? You betcha.

There's a situation downstairs. MILES: I'm sorry, what?

They were just having a little fun. Oh, fun.

They'll be here today. They're in.

Thursday. Thursday. Come on. That'd be great.

Tickle fight, tickle fight! Buddy, stop. Stop.

Um, and my first born, he's an elf? Yeah.

Wait, you're not singing. Yes, I am.

Walter. Wait.

We can do that. DEB: Mr. Hobbs?

We could sit here and point fingers all day.

We found this in the conference room. What is it?

What are you doing? I'm skipping.

What can I get you? Don't tell him what you want.

What do you mean, I missed? You missed.

What do you mean? All he does is work.

What do you want for Christmas? A Suzie Talks A Lot.

What kind of test? A test to find out if you're my son.

What should we put on it first? MICHAEL: Lights.

What the hell is that? MICHAEL: A Christmas tree.

What was it you wanted to tell me? Oh, right.

What?

What? He left a note.

What's going on? Don't speak.

What's more vulnerable than a peach? What? What do we do?

What's that? Intercom.

Where do you want me to go? I don't care where you go.

Who sent you? Papa Elf.

Who the heck are you? What are you talking about?

Whoa. MILES: Heh heh heh.

Why am I sitting on paper? It's sanitary for the other patients.

Work is your new favorite. Fine.

Working's fun. Not the way he does it.

Wow, you look miraculous. And so do you.

Yeah? SECRETARY: Mr. Hobbs?

Yeah? SECRETARY: The police are on line one.

Yeah. Go with the flow.

Yeah. Miles Finch.

Yes, it is. No, it isn't.

Yes, it is. No, it's not.

Yes, it is. No, it's not. Where's the snow?

Yes, there is. No, there's not.

You don't have to drink that. Thank you.

You found it. Buddy.

You know that guy? No, I've never seen him before.

You know, rabbits, and MILES: No.

You know, we'll bounce back. We No.

You made my sleigh fly. What do you mean?

You stink. You're gonna have a good Christmas.

You sure? Yes, I'm sure. Just do your job.

You wanna make me happy, don't you? More than anything.

You were right. Okay, good, I'm gonna hang up now.

You're a big boy. What's your name? Paul.

You're a great news lady. Thank you.

You're gonna go back to Santa land. Okay.

...915 off the pace.

...a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus.

...and are in the process of clearing it.

...and crammed 11 cookies into the VCR.

...and eventually saved Christmas.

...and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me.

...and for her boyfriend to stop dragging his feet and commit already."

...and go ice skating and maybe even hold hands.

...and I, um I feel really warm when I am around you...

...and past the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops.

...and their controversial crowd control tactics...

...and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel."

...and we've come up with what I think is a pretty big idea.

...are perfect for toy building.

...at the Simon and Garfunkel concert in '85 are still under investigation.

...because we have his book right here.

...before I come over there and smack it off.

...but had been so committed to building toys...

...but New York One has just received...

...but the gnomes drank too much.

...during the dry season.

...escaped the clutches of a certain evil witch.

...everyone will believe in you, then your sleigh will fly.

...had fallen in love when he was very young...

...he should drop the elf thing and move on with his life.

...he wasn't any different from the other children.

...I don't think he ever will.

...is that they saw something fall from the sky.

...it's time to start preparations for next Christmas.

...let's recite the code of the elves, shall we?

...past the Sea of Twirly Swirly Gumdrops...

...right here in front of Central Park. Let's have a listen in.

...some call it the show, or the big dance.

...some exclusive amateur news footage that you just might wanna follow up on.

...that doesn't mean that they're letting you look at presents before Christmas.

...that there has been a Santa sighting tonight.

...that's so important you had to interrupt me? What?

...there were a few drawbacks to being a human in an elves' world.

...this baby used to run solely on Christmas spirit.

...wandering through Central Park.

...well, he'd forgotten to settle down.

...well, he's on the naughty list.

...what happened this Christmas Eve in Central Park.

...what happened to a puppy and a frigging pigeon.

...what your plans are for this new book.

...when I was a young cumulus nimbus cloud.

...when in actuality you're the one that missed the payments.

...where it is unclear exactly what has happened.

...who was raised in the North Pole, went to New York...

...with a beautiful girl named Susan Welles...

...you came in here pitching me the idea of hiring another writer?

...you should think about, you know, getting rid of the costume.

"Carolyn Reynolds wants a Suzie Talks A Lot."

"Dirk Lawson wants pampering at Burke Williams Spa.

"First, I traveled through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest...

"Happy Birthday," of course.

"Lynn Kessler wants a Powerpuff Girls play set.

["WHOOMP! THERE IT IS" PLAYING OVER STEREO]

[ALL GASP]

[ALL SINGING]

[ALL WHOOPlNG, CHEERlNG]

[BOX CHIMING "POP GOES THE WEASEL"]

[BUDDY BELCHING]

[BUDDY CHUCKLES]

[BUDDY GASPS]

[BUDDY LAUGHS]

[BUDDY PACKING ICE RAPIDLY]

[BUDDY SCREAMS]

[BUDDY SINGING ALONG]

[BUDDY SINGING DEEP NOTE]

[BUDDY YELLING]

[BUDDY YELLS, TOY SQUEAKS]

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[COOING]

[CROWD SINGlNG ON TV]

[ELEVATOR DINGS, BUDDY GASPS]

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

[ELVES CHEERING]

[ENGlNE POWERING UP]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[IMITATING WALTER] I got a bunch of homework to go over and I'm way behind.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

[JACK IN THE BOX LAUGHS, BUDDY GASPS]

[JACK IN THE BOX LAUGHS, BUDDY YELLS]

[JOVIE SINGING "AULD LANG SYNE"]

[JOVIE SINGING "BABY, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE"]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

[MAKES SCREECHING NOISE]

[METAL CREAKS, DlRT SPRINKLES]

[MILES CLEARS THROAT]

[MOUTHING WORDS]

[MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PUFFIN GASPS, SHRIEKS]

[SANTA HOLLERING, KIDS CHEERING]

[SANTA SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

[SCREAMS]

[SHRIEKS]

[SIGHS]

[SINGING "SANTA CLAUS IS COMlN' TO TOWN"]

[SINGING ALONG]

[SOFTLY] I like to whisper too.

Elf (2003)
Elf is a heartwarming comedy film released in 2003. Directed by Jon Favreau, this Christmas-themed movie follows the story of Buddy, a human who grows up as an elf at the North Pole. The charming and iconic portrayal of Buddy is played by Will Ferrell, who brings his signature humor and childlike innocence to the character. The stellar cast also includes Zooey Deschanel, James Caan, Mary Steenburgen, and Bob Newhart. With its humorous and touching storyline, Elf has become a beloved holiday classic. Its memorable quotes and iconic moments have made it a staple of the Christmas season. The film soundtrack by John Debney provides a cheerful and festive atmosphere, perfectly complementing the on-screen antics of the characters. If you're looking to relive the magic of Elf, you can play and download the sounds and music from the movie right here.
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