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Home > Pixels (2015)
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Pixels (2015)

Pixels (2015)

Pixels is a 2015 American sci-fi comedy film directed by Chris Columbus. The movie follows a group of arcade game champions, played by Adam Sandler, Kevin James, and Michelle Monaghan, who are called upon to save the world from an invasion of classic video game characters. The cast also features Peter Dinklage, Josh Gad, and Brian Cox. With its nostalgic 80s video game references and visually stunning special effects, Pixels offers a fun and action-packed adventure for gamers and movie enthusiasts alike. If you're interested in reliving the classic sounds from this film, you can play and download them here.

A book written and illustrated by Ludlow Lamonsoff.
A cop fished these out of the East River the night you fell in.
A different bracket
A different faction
A hi fi repair man.
A little drinking.
A new world record.
A predatorin my competitors this second
Absolutely not.
Activate the QRF.
Actually, I think if she was real,
Adult diaper wearing,
Advisor person guy.
After an old out of print version of a video game from 30 years ago
Ah, bought the tourbus like a spaceship
Ain't no way Inky's catching up to you!
All finished up down there.
All of it's been meaningless in all areas of our life.
All right, ladies and gentlemen, what an evening we have had here.
All right, losers!
All right, Pac Man Number Two
All right. Hey, guys! That's enough. Listen.
All right. Lead the way.
All us nerds are.
All Weird Science style.
ALL: (CHANTING) You! You! You! You! You!
An NGO, a think tank, maybe even a corporation.
And 259 points
And adding one of those fees you see on your bill every month,
And after I do, I don't wanna pay no taxes like,
And all the games that were played that was then put in a capsule
And all those machines, they recalled them, they reprogrammed them,
And also I will blast and burn all my competitors' weak ass moves.
And don't forget Katy Perry.
And for cheatin' again more recently. (CHUCKLES)
And for our victory, we have taken a trophy.
And for the record, Hal,
And go full throttle on her, seriously.
And Harry Potter in the same room.
And has sent down real life versions of what they saw
And he made me a "World's Sexiest Prime Minister" coffee mug.
And his cheating friends.
And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams.
And I couldn't even get a handshake from Serena Williams.
And I guess we get to keep the trophies.
And I know that I could make you happy, but if you need to kill me,
And I want a stealth attack helicopter, like they fly over the Super Bowl
And I went in to kiss you.
And if I were you, I'd break out the billy club
And in it, your hostile challenge.
And instead, dropped off a bunch of incontinent,
And it wasn't us.
And just see if there's anything you can find to help us out.
And lastly,
And let us teach you a few things in the little time we have.
And let's just say
And maybe even marry Olivia Newton John.
And maybe even which game they're gonna use to attack us.
And no sales tax. If I wanna buy some, for instance, gum,
And now I'm back to being all alone.
And now the mothership is creating millions of video game warriors
And now your turn is done
And now your turn is done
And now your turn is done
And number three. If you help us beat these things,
And playing by the patterns doesn't do the trick anymore.
And recreated the same things using light energy.
And send them scuffering back
And she says she's gonna invent a slut seeking missile to take out Sinnamon.
And shot out into the universe
And show you little fake hustlers what the trap is
And the 1 0 swung...
And the doctor who was helping us make the baby
And the Martha Serena sandwich?
And the only way to do that is to get directly under it.
And the slut seeking missile, I'd love to see that.
And then sent these light creatures back at us.
And then we'll kill him.
And this is the Wonder Kid, also known as...
And we played in that video game championship?
And we understand you're holding a soire in their honor.
And while you guys were out, you know, savin' the world, you kind of destroyed his.
And who was this monster?
And you don't have cable because...
And you don't want them to see you dancin' around
And you get to stand next to me all night.
And, as the smoke clears, right now we have a tie.
And, no offense,
And, wow, I didn't peg you as the snobby type.
Anybody who doesn't need to be here, follow me to the support area.
Anything, Colonel Van Patten?
Apologies, Will.
Are American heroes.
Are rolling on the couch
Are tracking toward an auspicious denouement?
Are you all right?
Are you guys soldiers? Or the cast of Magic Mike?
Are you nuts?
Are you sure we wanna do this?
Are you trying to kiss me?
Aren't you glad you sprung me, Second Place?
As well as NASA, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration,
Assassin, soldier and a captain
Assuming that Alien Madonna's numbers are actually latitude and longitude,
At (CLEARS THROAT) the Donkey Kong.
At least I can die a happy man knowing that I found true love.
At least then, I'd have a tasty panini cooked for me or some shit.
At least we didn't make up our own nicknames, Fire Blaster.
At my disposal, at all times.
At the higher levels the barrels become more random, possessed almost.
Aw.
Aw.
Awesome.
Bang on!
Based off a video that looks like it was made by a couple high school kids.
Battle? Us? Huh?
Baubau was terribly frightened,
Because I don't want Matty to see me.
Because it was in the back of Brenner's van and I was watching you through a window.
Because of this, you forfeit and your planet is now ours.
Because the CIA has been tapping my phones
Because the government spies on us through our cable boxes, Brenner.
Because there were glitches in the original code.
Before you threatened us.
Between me, Serena Williams and Martha Stewart
Big Man!
Bite on that, Hal!
Blacksmith, over and out.
Bloody geek.
Boom! Let's get us some little ghosts.
Break out a bag of quarters. Pick a game. I'll destroy you at it.
BRENNER OVER RADIO: One down.
Brenner won two battles, Admiral. That's two more than you.
Brenner,
Brenner, do you remember when we were children,
Brenner, I spent the day on 4chan
Brenner, it's on you.
BRENNER: Hey, Chewie.
BRENNER: Hey, look at that! COOPER: Whoa!
BRENNER: Hey, Steve O.
BRENNER: I can't do this. There's no pattern.
BRENNER: It's level two!
BRENNER: Okay. We're under it, Q*bert. Now what?
BRENNER: Right.
BRENNER: Shut up, dude. We're gettin' on that ship.
BRENNER: There is only one objective in Asteroids.
BRENNER: There's no rhyme or reason to this game.
Brenner!
Brenner!
Brenner?
Brenner's right.
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise
But
But all these destructive things you're doing,
But clearly that's not the case.
But don't give yourself away
But don't give yourself away
But don't give yourself away
But don't give yourself away
But don't give yourself away
But I saw some interesting things written on the inside of the lenses.
But I'm a be the face of a generation
But I'm scared.
But I'm willin' to overlook that for the evening.
But if you lose...
But it's all good. Don't worry.
But make no mistake, Fire Blaster's the leader of this crew.
But nothin'! You heard Hall & Oates! You blew it!
But now, according to a text I got 20 minutes ago,
But our computer models show a great likelihood of effectiveness.
But sometimes, Brenner, sometimes
But suddenly, it might be comin' in handy to saving our planet.
But that's a useless skill now.
But the Arcaders saved us.
But the truth is we've been training.
But they calm down pretty quick
But this is the 1982 arcade version.
But this time
But wanna split a bottle with me?
But when I woke up, Mom and Dad
But why in the closet?
But you know what?
But, unfortunately, I wasn't in the room.
By who, sir?
By who?
Can anything harm them?
Can discuss our options.
Can I have some of that? No? I thought we were splitting it.
Can I kill it?
Can somebody take Grandpa's keys away before he drives us into a ditch?
Can you shut up for five seconds?
Can't let that happen.
Can't Xbox me in
Candy assed, cries himself to sleep,
Catastrophic.
Check it out.
Chewie?
Chloroform?
CHOIR KIDS: New York was in trouble.
CIA CHIEF: This has got Moscow's fingerprints all over it.
Clear the area!
Colonel Devereux.
Colonel Van Patten, you can go right into the Situation Room.
Come here!
Come on in.
Come on, Matty. Let's dance!
Come on, suck one up.
Come on!
Come on! Come on! Come on! Go!
Come on! You're the Wonder Kid!
Come to beg for a second chance?
COMMENTATOR 1: First pitch taken outside for a ball, 1 0,
COMMENTATOR 2: They're talking about how he's standing straight up over the plate.
Congratulations, you have won this battle.
Congratulations.
COOPER: Can you get to the White House right now?
COOPER: This is just like when we were dating.
COOPER: Well, you heard 'em.
COOPER: Wow, Sam.
COOPER: You're a superstar, dude.
Could do without your income taxes and be fine.
Count the bullets, calculate the speed, crunch the numbers.
Daddy! Daddy!
Damn.
Declared bankruptcy in 1991 and 2004.
Deep down, he's kind, gentle.
Defeating every enemy they've thrown at you.
Defender, Pac Man, Asteroids.
DEFENSE SECRETARY: Forget Iran!
Demands?
Did help us make the baby.
Did you get me some diet root beer while you were out?
Did you just say I have beautiful eyes?
Did you really not brush your teeth this morning?
Didn't think I'd see you again.
Do not hit him in the middle or he will split into two!
Do you feel me, sailor?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel the heretofore sanguine causata
Do you have to say that every time you show up at a house?
Do you know that he proposed in a waterfall?
Do you remember how there was a tape of the event
Does it, Brenner?
Does she really get to talk twice? She's not even at the grown ups table.
Don't make me pull up, pull up where you boys ball at
Don't sweat the whole Taj Mahal thing.
Don't tell anyone I killed a Smurf.
Don't worry about it. He's a criminal.
Donkey Kong.
Drop dead, Admiral.
Earlier today, our military base in Guam was attacked by this guy, Galaga.
Easy with those light cannons, gentlemen. We don't have any backups.
Eddie Plant,
Eddie Plant's a cheater! That's why he was so good in New York.
Eddie, at the next intersection, turn left.
EDDIE: Wonderfro, you and Silver Medal break off.
Eddie. Yeah. He crawled into a hole. We'll never see him again.
Eight.
Enormous progress, sir.
Even while we sleep
Ever since I found out the Zapruder film has been edited.
Every 10,000 points, you get another triangle ship.
Every 11:11 on the clock,
Every little chicken wishbone I could find, and ladybug.
Everybody needs a second chance
Everybody wants a new romance
Everybody wants to rule the world
Everybody's working for the weekend
Everyone's looking at you, oh
Everyone's trying to get it right
Everyone's watching to see what you will do
Except Iran.
Excuse me for a second.
Extraterrestrial life, should it exist.
Feel the passion, no compassion, but I'm askin'
Fella.
FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR: The President's gaffe filled summer continued today...
Fire Blaster is the world champ!
Fire Blaster's been in prison for eight years.
First of all, she asked where the beef was.
Fooled you.
For 120 seconds,
For the record, I'm an amazing kisser.
For your new Galaga Centipede world champion, rookie sensation,
For your new Pac Man world champion.
From Land's End to John o'Groats!
From now on,
Galaga.
Game on, game on Hope you people ready
Games you played in an arcade
Gandalf,
Gather your bravest warriors to face our bravest warriors!
Generals and Admirals.
Gentlemen, I'll be sending Pac Man's current coordinates
Get away from those kids now!
Get it right
Get out of there.
Get your flabby ass back here, Yank!
Ghosts.
Go get 'em.
Go right on through, Lieutenant Colonel.
Good luck and may the best planet win.
Good morning, Mr. President.
Good one, Eddie.
Got it.
Grandpa, we'll see you around the, uh, nursing home.
Great.
Green's officially my favorite color now.
Guards, get me outta here.
Guys in suits.
Guys! Help!
Happy to do it.
Have agreed to share their video game expertise with you and your team.
Have you been playing Space Invaders a lot lately?
Having civilians with zero security clearance in this facility is...
He ate the power pellet.
He did the same thing to you when you were kids.
He hasn't been with a woman since '05.
He knows everything there is to know about this game.
He used cheat codes.
He's a loser, and he will always be a loser.
He's just not really a gamer.
He's marrying a 19 year old named after a spice.
He's still the master.
Hello,
Hello?
Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade.
Her name's Sinnamon, with an "S"
Here comes the sprinkle monster!
Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.
Here. Finish these.
Here's what happened.
Hey, Brenner.
Hey, Colonel. Don't worry. They're gonna work.
Hey, guys.
Hey, hey
Hey, live long, laugh much, love often.
Hey, Ludlow! Grab a light cannon! Get out here now! I need your help!
Hey, uh, fellas. Good to see you.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! We won!
Hi. Ludlow Lamonsoff.
High score, alien trash!
HILL: All right!
His critics say, "Nothing."
Hmm. Classics. You mean like Halo and Call of Duty.
Hold on a second. I gotta see this.
Hooyah!
Hooyah.
How about Scarlett Johansson?
How are you so good at this? You've never even played it before.
How are you, Eddie?
How are you? Hey, thank you, General Zod, for that beautiful intro.
How are you? My goodness! Look at you!
How do you mean?
How the hell did he get over there so fast?
How will the children ever learn to read?
How would you know that?
Huh?
Huh. Is it your birthday?
I am not a snob.
I am the Wonder Kid.
I ate a Tic Tac.
I came up absolutely empty.
I can't believe they took Matty as a trophy. I am so sorry.
I can't do this. I'm gonna throw up!
I can't let you Mini Mes steal my Austin Powers
I can't move.
I created him to bring joy to all the people of the world.
I didn't know you can have an approval rating so catatastrophic.
I don't have to pay no shitballs taxes on the gum.
I don't know about that. You know, they took away our light cannons.
I don't know the patterns!
I don't know what would be worse.
I don't know.
I don't see it, but you sure as hell do.
I don't think it's healthy for you.
I don't think my rebound guy is a 210 pound person
I don't think that's such a good idea.
I don't wanna die!
I don't want to hear another word out of you. All right?
I drank a few cold sanguines on my last trip to Mxico.
I dunno about that.
I dunno if I wanna do it now. She's being so mean.
I got it, sweetheart, okay?
I got this.
I guarantee it.
I guess I thought you were gonna be, like
I had to prove to myself and to the world that I could do this without cheating.
I had two days to do things never done before on this planet, sir.
I happen to know what several of those big words meant.
I have a pen pal in Guam. His name is Baubau.
I have a question for you.
I have eight others.
I have reason to believe that some alien life force found that tape
I have to go.
I have you runnin' suicides all practice
I have. How did you know that?
I just thought of something I should tell...
I just wanna touch it.
I know
I know it's weird.
I know that you have love in your heart,
I know, right?
I learned a lot of big words at the dorm room drug parties.
I love you.
I made your game my bitch.
I mean, her eyes. Okay, her eyes are a little far apart.
I mean, it just seems like someone with your skills,
I mean, it's just, when your son told me that your husband left you for a 19 year old,
I mean, maybe we could just find another planet to live on.
I mean, you were incredible at video games back in the day,
I mean...
I need you to sign the work order.
I owe everything I have to these bitchin' shades.
I played when I was your age.
I prayed for this.
I said, move it!
I so regret trying to kiss you.
I suck.
I think I might have found our next trophy.
I think maybe the extraterrestrials took what they saw in the orbiter
I think we can get you outta here.
I think we might help you win this thing.
I think you can call me Chewie.
I think, based on analysis of the footage,
I told Serena I needed to get some air, you know?
I understand.
I used cheat codes back in the day to help me dominate.
I used every birthday wish,
I wanna flash me a card that says "I saved the world."
I want you to set up a romantic rendezvous
I was actually thinking Samantha Fox.
I was gonna give 'em back to you,
I was on three hours' sleep, all right?
I was pretty good at some of the classic games.
I was supposed to have a baby with my ex wife.
I was the vodka shot record holder in my class at West Point.
I was very happy drinking and crying by myself.
I was wondering, when you got there,
I will never fall off, I just fall back
I will personally speak to the parole board about reducing your sentence.
I would kiss the guy in the yacht 100 times before I kissed you.
I'd better learn how to face...
I'll be right back.
I'll be the judge of that.
I'll be there in 15.
I'll stay with Big Yellow.
I'm a snob. I have mental problems, so...
I'm dying to meet Sam's new ladyfriend.
I'm gonna die a virgin!
I'm just...
I'm mostly crying.
I'm neverlackin' Boy, I'm ready for that action
I'm not following you.
I'm not so sure you can, buddy.
I'm not sure. That's what I wanted to ask you.
I'm okay, Mama.
I'm opening the door.
I'm racin' against nothin' but time
I'm reloaded, and I hope my trigger finger steady
I'm sittin' in the chair. Gimme a break.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm sobbing on the floor of my closet drinking Chardonnay out of a sippy cup.
I'm sorry, "Whoa"?
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Is this a National Security Council meeting,
I'm the Donkey Kong champion of the world.
I'm thinking something a little stronger.
I'm thinking this is a cutting edge multinational enterprise.
I'm trying not to cause total panic, Yank.
I'm your father.
I've been in there ever since you went to that nice lady's house.
I've never been happier and more alive!
I've seen your files.
If I don't,
If I wanna get paid, yes.
If I were you,
If possibly you'd like to hang out with me while I was there?
If the world's still here, I don't wanna deal with traffic no more.
If this gets out to the press that we're pinning the blame
If this was a fugly contest, I'd be in trouble.
If we need ya, we know where to find ya. All right?
If you can get your guys from the NSA to clean up the signal,
If you defeat him, you save your planet and destroy our warriors.
Imagine that.
In 2005, he was caught hacking cell phone companies
In ancient times, they called it "socializing."
In case it's Space Invaders,
In New York City.
In Northern India tonight.
In the Lincoln Bedroom.
In the middle of the Mediterranean, sipping champagne,
In the middle of the UHF broadcast,
In the world
In your pants!
Incoming!
Inhabitants of Earth,
Intelligent energy.
Intergalactic war, Mr. President. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that unpredictable?
Is that how you got into the Mississippi Institute of Technology?
Is that what that says?
Isn't that kind of demeaning?
It was awful.
It was like one of those monster movies, you know?
It won't happen again. Shut up.
It's amazin' all the places and the people faces
It's an old timey video game, '80s kind of folks like my dad used to play.
It's eerily quiet, Mr. President.
It's fine. I can handle it.
It's just not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.
It's just, how come he gets to stay? Why are you still here?
It's like being a great blacksmith.
It's like the video games of old, Chewie Mr. President.
It's not even spelled correctly.
It's probably better that there's only an even six Wonders of the World now.
It's Q*bert.
It's Sam Brenner and his team who have brought us here to the brink of victory.
It's so sweet. He's so sweet.
It's supposed to be awesome.
It's totally tubular!
It's totally tubular.
It's wrong.
JANE: Aw. COOPER: No distractions, just us.
JFK shot first!
Just 'cause you see a hammer doesn't mean grab it.
Just my grandma.
Just regenerated four streets away headed northbound.
Just remember who you're talking to, missy.
Just the other day I heard of a soldier's falling off
Just wanted to spend some quality time with the wife.
Kickin' your can all over the place
Kids wit' no patience or directions
Killer instinct, I just go harder than harder hard, but I pull larger
Kind of ziggy zaggy.
Knock you out the frame
La la la la la la
Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce a special message
Lady Lisa, I'll love you till the end of time.
Lady Lisa, she made an appearance.
Lady Lisa!
Leave her alone.
Lemme help you. Hey, come here.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Sam Brenner.
Let the nerds take over!
Let the nerds take over!
Let the nerds take over.
Let's get back to work.
Let's get to know him a little bit. Ask him some questions.
Let's get us some light cannons and blow this sucker back
Let's hit it.
Let's locate and eliminate.
Let's play
Let's take it forward.
Like someone forgot to send us the best of the best.
Like the soon to be called Edwahii.
Listen, do me a favor, Sam.
Look how big you've grown!
Look out!
Look who's here.
Look, all we have to do is get inside the mothership and try to stop them.
Look, Brenner, you're meant for something more than this.
Look, I can't risk it, Brenner. I just can't!
Look, you seem like a very nice guy, but I just met you, okay?
Looks like all the time you wasted when we were kids is finally payin' off.
Looks to me, Brenner,
Losers of the year?
Losing both will lead to the total destruction of your planet.
Lud, listen.
Ludlow Lamonsoff,
Ludlow, it is you!
Ludlow, run! Pump your legs! Go, baby!
LUDLOW: Hey, guys!
LUDLOW: It's game over.
LUDLOW: There's too many of them!
LUDLOW: We got him!
LUDLOW: We're trapped!
LUDLOW: Well,
LUDLOW: You're the first guest I've had here. Voluntarily.
Ludlow. What's the matter, buddy?
Madam Prime Minister, I can't thank you enough for your cooperation on this.
Made about 50 million before he was convicted and sentenced
Magina?
Mama! No!
MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) Attention, all contestants.
MAN: He's over here!
MAN: Three, four.
MAN: You've got the blood of innocent children on your hands.
Matty!
Matty!
Matty! Oh, God!
May I introduce to you Professor Toru Iwatani.
Maybe a half hour a day, turn off the cell phone,
Maybe it just means we're gonna meet the right person now.
Maybe this really is all for the best.
Maybe.
Me, Serena! All right, lemme just cut to the chase here.
Me? No! Look at me! I look delicious!
Me? Whoa? I don't even know what that means.
Me. That's my nickname, sugar buns.
Men, you have served this nation with distinction,
Michael's a robot!
Mississippi Institute of Technology, though.
MIT. Yes.
Mmm. I'd have it no other way.
Mmm. Not Halle Berry hot, but so, so hot.
Mmm. You're not getting an island.
Mom, Mom! Q*bert's not dead!
Mom!
Mom!
Mommy's all right, daddy's all right
Mommy's all right, daddy's all right
Most violent game I've ever seen.
Mother told me
Moving on.
Mr. Brenner, the President is waiting for you in the Oval Office.
Mr. Lamonsoff and Mr. Brenner
Mr. President, may I have a light cannon?
Mr. President, someone's made a major breakthrough in drone technology
Mr. President, there is no nation on Earth that has the military technology
Mr. President, we told the press that it was an advanced weapons test that misfired.
Mr. President?
Mr. President.
Mr. President.
MR. ROARKE ON TV: (IN SPANISH ACCENT) Inhabitants of Earth.
Mrs. Van Patten, are you in the closet?
My God! Will you please find the pattern and anticipate!
My husband actually said that we don't spend time together like we used to,
My mom kind of hates him right now.
My sweet little boy.
Nah, I'm pretty sure he's dead, Matty.
Never doubt or question my effort
New York City.
Nice to see ya!
Nice, but she's no Sheena Easton.
Nine.
No army, no weapon, no man
No fun. No laughter. Only war.
No more taxes!
No, because I'm the sprinkle monster!
No, Brenner, no, no, no!
No, Brenner!
No, but you need to admit to Brenner that he's the best in the world.
No, I could hear a little more. You got any pictures?
No, I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talkin' to homeboy.
No, my parents are getting a divorce.
No, no, Grandma! It's funny. I didn't get a chance to because, um...
No, of course. I would love to do somethin' different.
No, that tape was burned three months ago. Anyway...
No, that's a bad idea.
No, you can't, and everything's recorded.
No, you're the freak with the fat...
No!
No!
No!
No!
No! No, light cannons don't kill Pac Man.
No! The real classics.
No.
No.
No.
No. No! Never gonna happen.
Nobody can save you
Nobody can save you
Nobody can save you
Nobody's better at the crane game than me.
Nonsense! It's an Iranian black ops sideshow.
Not judging, but what are you doin' in the closet?
Not to mention all the countless unnamed ones,
Now go kick some ass.
Now I gotta explain this to the National Security Council.
Now it's time for the hat trick.
Now you already calculated that in your beautiful mind, didn't you?
Now, assuming that...
Now, bugger off.
Number one. You're not getting a helicopter or any sort of flying or driving vehicle.
Number two. I'm pretty sure the federal government
Of course, buddy.
Of course, Mr. President.
Of us playing video games in 1982
Oh
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Why? What do you do?
Oh, come on, you couldn't have at least changed?
Oh, God.
Oh, God. I can't believe they even let you in here.
Oh, God. No!
Oh, he didn't like it though.
Oh, hey, kid. Uh...
Oh, I understand.
Oh, it exists.
Oh, just the Galaga that attacked us,
Oh, my God.
Oh, right, then. Break a leg, then, yeah?
Oh, thank God.
Oh, that's horrible.
Oh, uh, the sandwich guy is here.
Oh, what happened? Oh, I remember now.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah. That's right. The one you made up for yourself.
Oh! And your sidekick here,
Oh! Fuhgeddaboutit!
Oh.
Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays.
Okay, boys! Do exactly what we talked about!
Okay, but there's a 5 plus 1 formation, all right?
Okay, I got lost about halfway through.
Okay, I won't. I won't. I won't.
Okay, in exchange for helping us,
Okay, it's fine, son. It's fine.
Okay, Matty, you don't need to tell the nice installer man our whole life.
Okay, now, assuming they play by the rules of the game like they did with Centipede,
Okay, so you're seeing the same thing I'm seeing.
Okay, well, let's just say I was a billionaire, and we were out on my giant yacht
Okay.
Okay. Follow me.
Okay. You can let go of each other now.
On coming in second!
On some old computer game,
On the use of the prototype weapons.
One more loss for you will mean the annihilation of your world.
One more to go and it's happy hour.
One of those "hot when we first met in high school,
One.
Only known her half an hour and she's already like,
Only since I was 10.
Ooh.
Oops.
Or a dorm room drug party?
Or I feel like everything's going great,
Or studio apartment, if we're getting real here.
Or them actually pulling this off.
Our nation has just been attacked by an unknown military force.
Our Navy SEALs were given permission by your government
Over here.
Pac Man caused a ruckus.
Pac Man? Boom. That's my jam.
Pac Man.
Pac Man's a bad guy?
Pac Man's always been faster than the ghosts.
Pac Man's got 10 seconds where he can eat us.
Patterns? Is that why you were so good with Pac Man and Centipede?
People of Earth,
Perhaps our new expert advisors would like to say a few words to the SEALs.
Pick one of 'em. We'll set up a coffee.
Playing in the street gonna be a big man some day
Please accept one of our warriors as a trophy of your victory.
Please return to the support area!
Please, don't thank me.
Please?
Plus, you're married to a woman who hates you.
PORTER: I wouldn't get smart with me, Colonel.
PORTER: What do we train for? SEALS: War!
Presi donut.
Pretend you're the guy and you don't wanna die.
Probably equally crying and drinking.
Probably wouldn't be so lost if you was watchin' the signs
Probably. I mean...
Professor Iwatani, get back in the car!
Q*bert the traitor
Q*BERT: Again! Again! Again! Again!
Q*BERT: Aw.
Q*BERT: Bullcrap.
Q*BERT: Help me! Help me!
Q*BERT: Hey, Brenner.
Q*BERT: It's too late.
Q*BERT: Oh, no.
Q*BERT: Oh!
Q*BERT: Please.
Q*BERT: That's the only way in.
Q*BERT: Trampoline! Trampoline! Trampoline!
Q*BERT: We were once a happy planet.
Q*BERT: Whoo!
Q*bert! Look out!
Q*bert's a trophy.
Raj, is this what I think it is?
Ready to go at a moment's notice.
Really, if you guys sell it, we've probably bought it.
Really?
Remember when I told you that you were meant for something more in life?
Remember, we are still leading two battles to one.
RENEE: Mr. President, are we out of danger?
REPORTER: Oh, shut up, Hal.
Right.
Rookie, just tell 'em what you saw.
Sam Brenner,
Sam Brenner!
Sam, listen.
Sam, Sam, wait.
Sam!
Searching for messages from the aliens to prove my theory.
See you on the other side.
See, this is why I don't think I can have Brenner on my team.
Seven.
She also told me
She doesn't hate me. She just doesn't get it, you know.
She gasped.
She is.
She, I think, in the classical sense of the word, is certainly... I mean, I feel...
She'd have about 17 restraining orders out on you.
She's a 10.
She's cute, by the way.
She's flawless.
She's not perfect, though, right?
She's nothin'. It's just a little hangin' out thing.
She's still a character after all those years.
Shoot each centipede from the head down!
Shoot for the head!
Should've gone with Martha Stewart.
Show me what that is.
Shut down the emails, put away the Reggie bars
Sir, may I have the honor of pouring you a frosty?
Sir, we are in the midst of an aerial attack by an unidentified force!
Sir, what an honor.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Six new US records set.
Six.
Snob? Me?
So Caltech, MIT?
So come on up!
So have we made any progress, Colonel?
So hot.
So I guess not.
So I guess they're just leaving me here.
So I guess we've been dating for almost three years now.
So I hacked into the government's servers to assure Baubau that everything was okay.
So I suggest the man in the orange shorts leave the room immediately.
So I took him to one of those, um, do it yourself pottery studios.
So I went rogue.
So I'm feeling obligated to make an appearance at that thing tomorrow night.
So let's blow up Google.
So let's hear about Sinnamon. What does she look like?
So look, I know that sometimes people think of me as a bit of a conspiracy nut.
So more like,
So nobody look!
So sad they had to fade it
So stay alert.
So then, as a distraction, I got up
So tonight, your dopey ex husband's gonna be lookin' into those eyes and sayin',
So we'll see what happens.
So we're hopin' you guys can forget about us bein' civilian morons,
So, what am I installing?
So, what is it you and your orange shorts barged in here to say?
So...
So...
Some Indonesian junk that's going round
Somebody kill this stupid bitch!
Someone you can tell your troubles to or grab a hamburger with.
Something peculiar interrupted Sophia Bush's sexy shenanigans.
Sometimes I wonder if you're not working for the Martians yourself!
Son, I'm just a loser who's good at old video games.
Sons of bitches.
Sorry about that, everybody.
Sorry, everybody. (STAMMERS)
Sorry, I thought we were having a moment.
Sorry!
Sorry.
Sorry. Coming through. I'm one of tonight's heroes. Sorry.
Sorry. Don't touch the guy. Just sit down.
Sorry. I withdraw the question.
Spent up all your change
Spent up all your change
Spent up all your change
Start your gaming!
Starting...
Stay away You'll never know what you'll catch
Stay away You'll never know what you'll catch
Stay with me!
Stop! It's me! It's me! It's Ludlow! It's Ludlow.
Surrender
Surrender, surrender
Surrender, surrender
Surrender, surrender
Surrender, surrender
Than my entire administration.
Thank you for your support.
Thank you.
Thanks for all the joy you brought to our lives.
Thanks for bein' my friend.
That are part of the United States and its territories.
That can't be real.
That doesn't exist anymore.
That doesn't matter.
That giant ape throws another barrel at me.
That I'd meet girls like you
That is to destroy every rock and every saucer.
That means you two nipple twisters.
That nobody would know today?
That preliminary indications are that we were attacked by
That seems to be working out for him,
That videotape will be placed in a space probe
That was braggin' Man, what happened to you has beens?
That was smooth. (CHUCKLING) That was very smooth.
That was some twisted Pinocchio Geppetto stuff right there.
That's a good thing.
That's a shocker.
That's been proven.
That's how I beat your boy Brenner at the World Championship. Oh, yeah.
That's it.
That's not the real Madonna!
That's right. I am.
That's the second straight inning where Washington has led off with a single.
That's why I recommend stayin' in the middle.
That's why solid matter, bullets and missiles, won't harm them.
The bravery of the Arcaders,
The competition will start in 15 minutes.
The conspiracies are real.
The creator of Pac Man.
The cubes we recovered in Guam are normally pretty feisty.
The details will be sent via this signal shortly
The Fire Blaster, Eddie Plant!
The Galaga that exists now came out in 1986.
The local yokel looked destiny in the eye and blinked.
The lot of ya, come on! Move it!
The mushroom things are in the way!
The next battle is in 15 hours
The one game you suck at.
The Pac Man cheat code for super speed.
The President can't be seen drinking during times of crisis.
The President can't read.
The President has brought in these two civilian Arcaders
The whole country thinks I'm a buffoon right now as it is.
The winner takes the loser's planet.
The world ends.
Them failing,
Then I want a full pardon. I wanna get outta here for good.
Then let's blow Galaga to hell.
Then she said that the next battle was on at sundown tomorrow.
Then take it back.
Then we can pinpoint exactly where the attack is gonna be,
Then we can safely assume that the next attack should happen somewhere
Then you're just gonna have to go ahead and kill me.
There are 18,617 named islands
There are still three other power pellets out there.
There's a crazy woman following me. I guarantee she's here to shoot the President.
There's a pattern to how they're moving. Watch.
There's always Madonna.
There's no turning back
There's nobody better than you.
There's something I have to show you.
These civilians have better insight into our current crisis
These moron aliens think that the footage NASA sent up to space
These ray guns gonna work, Van Patten?
They always got one thing wrong with them.
They call me the Fire Blaster!
They do not know they are games.
They gon' play me like a PlayStation from playin' on that station
They gon' play me like a PlayStation from playin' on that station
They have been the best years of my life.
They have brainwashed him!
They just seem a little weird
They just seem a little weird
They just seem a little weird
They love the Big Man! Good to see the respect, pal.
They tried to take me to some underground bunker,
They wanna rule
They will have their Arcader uniforms on underneath their tuxes,
They'll gobble me up like space dim sum!
They'll not only mock you in the news, Mr. President, they'd impeach you!
Things might just play out a little bit differently.
This could be it, buddy.
This feels like my planet.
This here is, uh, my old arcade game technical
This is clearly not a quarter. This is far more valuable. May I keep this?
This is like a regular thing now?
This is not a game now
This is not a game now
This job is killing me, man.
This peace is due to, and only due to
This way!
Those little ghosts do.
Three. You'll see your boy grow up.
To 20 years in prison.
To attack us.
To be included in a compilation of 1982's news events and popular culture.
To develop four mini generators for each of the cars.
To each of your car's GPSes.
To prepare for an extraterrestrial invasion,
To simply pixelate entire buildings.
To tell we received your vessel.
To the Arcaders from the students of PS 427
To the fractious firmament from whence they came!
To try to watch an episode of One Tree Hill that I recorded on my VCR last night.
To whatever planet it came from.
Tonight, we have representatives here from the Guinness Book of World Records,
Too late, sweetheart. You had your shot and ya blew it.
True, and you married the wrong girl.
Trying to figure out a way to bring you to life
Turn east at the next intersection.
Two buffoons like me and this guy giving advice to you badasses.
Two more losses and...
Two to go!
Two.
Uh huh.
Uh, define pretty. I mean, you're pretty. (CHUCKLES)
Uh, You know, she, for military personnel, certainly.
Uh...
Um...
Um...
Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to your mother.
Up there. You wanna go up there?
Violated the rules?
Violet got the boot. We're on our own, guys.
Violet, get outta there!
VIOLET: (VOICE WAVERING) Okay.
VIOLET: Damn it, Brenner. I have a son who I'd like to see grow up.
VIOLET: So someone designed these space bugs
VIOLET: What was that, sir?
VIOLET: Whoa, Eddie, how did you do that so fast?
Wait a second. Q*bert is from there. He knows all their secrets.
Wait, no one else is weirded out by this? That was just Q*bert.
Wait, you cheated?
Wait.
Was a declaration of war.
Watch that again, okay?
Way to go, champ.
We accept your offer to compete in winner take all battles.
We are a race from the planet Volula.
We can duff up the jiggery pokery of these blighters
We can rescue Matty while we're up there.
We defeat a full on alien invasion,
We did it, baby!
We did it.
We ding up a few foreign belligerents, beer is fine.
We don't even know where to find that idiot!
We don't have the free time to do stuff together like we did 10 years ago.
We had no way to field test them, sir.
We have a positive can do attitude.
We have begun instructing the Navy SEAL task force
We have something better than light cannons.
We hope so also. Well, what are we dealin' with?
We hope you can do the same for us.
We just received an alien transmission from the "Where's the Beef?" lady.
We know how to do this. They don't. Just act the part.
We lost the first one, Galaga.
We now understand the entities that attacked us were made of energy.
We saw how you guys took care of the centipedes.
We used the energy force field technology from the cube
We were. A moment.
We will find you
We will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We will, we will rock you
We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you
We won't be afraid 'cause we're the ones who made you
We won't stop until you're gone
We're Americans.
We're calling them XM950 attack modules.
We're coming for you, honey!
We're gonna have to outmaneuver his ass.
We're shootin' a beer commercial.
We're thinkin' Iran when we should be thinking Google.
We're under attack.
We've actually met before, but you wouldn't remember
Welcome, gamers, to the first annual
Well,
Well, I trust with the concord of our powers
Well, lookie here, Serena.
Well, maybe he sees somethin' that nobody else does, you know. (CHUCKLES)
Well, one time I drank 15 milkshakes at Denny's,
Well, that's why you have your reset button.
Well, there's gotta be somethin' we can do.
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
Well, why don't you tell them that, Q*bert, and stop them?
Well, Wonder Kid, you can hang out with us.
Well, you know, you are and you do,
Were you any good?
What am I lookin' at right now?
What are we doin' right now? We're too old. It's just gross already.
What are you guys talking about?
What did you do?
What do they mean by three lives? What is that?
What else would I do?
What is a
What is that noise?
What the hell are those things?
What the hell kind of beer commercial is this?
What the hell kind of beer commercial is this?
What?
What? No!
What? Too much? Well, you know what?
What's going on, man? Why's it so crazy out there?
What's Radio Shack Robbie doing here? And this other
What's up, geeks and goobers?
What's up?
What's with the disguise, buddy?
What's your problem, dude?
Whatever happened to all this season's
Whatever the hell the female form of maggot is.
When I was a kid in the arcades.
When we hit them with some super charged light particles.
When you magina poop your pants,
Where are we, Q*bert? What is this place?
Where is that?
Where the hell is my mama?
Where you goin', Fire Blaster?
Where?
Where'd they disappear?
Where's Eddie?
Which is covering up the truth
Which really tells you all you need to know about her.
Which was a building outside of your house.
Which we believe will occur at these coordinates in approximately 60 minutes.
Which will be launched by NASA into our solar system
While I'd love to stick around
While insulting the other chick.
While you go ask my mom to the ball tomorrow night?
Who are you, mister?
Who told you that? The government?
Who we are required to listen to
Who will be videotaping tonight's competition
Who, against all odds, stepped up and saved us all.
Who's Galaga?
Who's the Fire Blaster again?
Who's the Fire Blaster?
Whoa, Big Man. Settle down there with that butterscotch frosting.
Whoa, she went from zero to psycho in 3.4 seconds,
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! (CHUCKLING)
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that, man? Why'd you lie to him?
Whoa!
Whoa.
Why am I here right now? Why did you try to roofie me?
Why are there four of 'em? There's only three of us. Who's our fourth?
Why do they act so mean?
Why does Madonna wanna take over our planet?
Why me?
Will you marry me?
With all due respect, sir,
With hand eye coordination unique to a very specific cognitive acuity.
WOMAN: Fire Blaster, I love you!
WOMAN: What was that, Jim?
WOMAN: Your economics are hurting poor people!
Women baby man people!
Wonder Kid, you gotta stay on the ground. These people need protection.
World heroes.
Worldwide Video Arcade Championships!
Worldwide Video Arcade Championships!
Would you have kissed me back, then?
Wow, you don't have any friends, do you?
Wow!
Wow.
Wow. That is really, really, really, really good.
Ya thought wrong, civilian!
Yeah, I always think maybe my life would've been different.
Yeah, I know! I know.
Yeah, my dad cheated on my mom with his 19 year old Pilates instructor.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, that sounds cool, but it's not gonna work every time.
Yeah, thrilled.
Yeah, whatever you say, stalky. It's over. Deal with it.
Yeah!
Yeah! Yes!
Yeah? You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Can I sit in your chair?
Yeah. Hey. You know what'll cheer you up?
Yeah. Only way to beat these things.
Yeah. Where do I know that from?
Yeah. Who cares who made it up?
Yes, almost three.
Yes, I did.
Yes, she told me
Yes!
Yes! Actually, it does.
Yes.
Yes. In fact, I am pleased to announce
Yo, wassup?
You already married the wrong guy. You got the worst part over with.
You are so powerful, just as I...
You are the best
You beautiful Nubian man!
You can see from the giant space bugs, the way they come swoopin' in.
You cracker!
You did it! Brenner! That's the one, baby!
You didn't even brush your teeth this morning.
You don't want me to stop being a nerd, ever.
You even think about touching me, I'm gonna smack you through the wall.
You gonna fight? Or dance naked?
You gonna go back to the Nerd Brigade?
You gonna introduce me to your girlfriend?
You gonna nurse that all night long, or when are you gonna start hittin' it?
You gorgeous specimen of what God can make!
You got a rough life, bud.
You got it.
You got mud on your face
You got mud on your face You big disgrace
You gotta at least warn the people of India somethin' could be comin'.
You gotta learn how to read, buddy. It's as simple as that.
You have already lost the first battle.
You have no authority to dispense weapons here, Mr. Brenner!
You have the patterns down pretty good with these games.
You have two lives left.
You have violated the rules of warfare, dudes.
You helped unscramble my Cinemax when we were kids.
You just need to channel your genius into something productive.
You know what I mean.
You know what that means, right?
You know what? I get it. I screwed up.
You know, everybody's like,
You know, he's right, Brenner.
You know, I had my shot
You know, so I can fly around.
You know, we should get him some exercise.
You know, you're all right, Brenner.
You look nice in a tux.
You loved saying that.
You maggots, you little girl maggots...
You magina!
You memorized the patterns?
You messed with the wrong planet!
You must be the local talent.
You need the Fire Blaster.
You say you ready, well, I'm attackin'
You see, the thing about Donkey Kong is,
You should sell that at Barnes & Unstable.
You speak Japanese?
You told me to rush right over.
You too? That's so funny.
You walkin' wiener coat.
You want a piece of my heart?
You want ghosts?
You want the Fire Blaster's help, he has some demands.
You were all over this sideshow that did nothing but waste valuable time.
You were gonna drug me?
You were so awesome down there!
You win! I'm not gonna fight you anymore, okay?
You would go there with your friends, listen to music, cute girls everywhere.
You'll see.
You're a good boy.
You're a good boy.
You're all right too, snobby.
You're done.
You're gonna be thinking of me!
You're gonna be tough to beat.
You're in for the time of your life.
You're in luck. The boss wants to meet ya in person.
You're just using big words to try to make him look like an idiot.
You're Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid, right?
You're mean.
You're my second favorite president. You know Obama's still my man, right?
You're not gonna climb a ladder with a hammer in your hand.
You're really challenging me to drink you under the table?
You're really not gonna like what I do with the rainbow sprinkles.
You're right, I am. Okay.
You're the First Lady,
You've been a cheater your whole life?
You've been a cheater your whole life?
You've been brainwashed!
Your approval ratings have tripled since this crisis began.
Your worst nightmare!
Zac Efron.
Ziggy zag? Is that the snobby term?
5130' 29" latitude. 09' 42" longitude.
(ALL CHEERING) Attaboy, Eddie!
(ALL CHEERING) Shock and awe, baby!
(BRENNER GRUNTS) What the hell was that?
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) (CHUCKLES)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING) Hold that thought, snobby.
(CHEERING) GIRL: Go, Fire Blaster!
(CHEERING) Yeah, Sam!
(CLEARS THROAT) "And the whole room fell silent.
(CROWD JEERING) That's a lovely dress.
(DEEP RUMBLING) We tried something. It didn't work.
(DEEP WHIRRING) Does that sound familiar to you?
(DOOR OPENS) MICKEY: Ludlow!
(GROWLING) (CHUCKLING)
(GROWLING) MATTY: Mom, up here!
(GULPS) Take a handful.
(KNOCK ON DOOR) BRENNER: Mrs. Van Patten.
(SCREAMING) (EXPLOSION)
(SCREAMING) Oh!
(SNIFFS) What happened?
(WHISTLES) Okay and we're callin' 'em Mini Ghosts
A cheese ball. Q*BERT: Yep.
And you wanna know something? Tell me.
At this point, it's primarily data collection. (BRENNER SIGHS)
Brenner, help me out here. No, you're doing great.
Brenner! (SCREAMS)
but have no idea what it is. What an idiot.
Can you freeze it? Yeah, hold on.
COOPER: Thank you. Hey, give me back my quarters, you hoser!
Dad! Dad! Daddy! Daddy!
Did I do good? You did awful.
Do you have that around here? You are so smart.
Do you want a copy? No.
Don't yell at me! (DOOR SLAMS)
Drinks are on the US government! (ALL CHEERING)
Enjoy it! BRENNER: Hey!
Extremely pretty. Thank you.
Game on Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up
Game on Turn it up, turn it up, turn it up
Go in tighter. (BEEPING)
Good luck. Yeah.
Good. But seriously, Brenner.
Her forehead's too big? (CHUCKLES) No.
Hi, buddy! Let me look at you! Hey! Good to see you, my boy!
Hi. (Q*BERT WHOOPING)
I couldn't get a babysitter. Oh.
I kind of wanna leave. Okay.
I know. Stayin' in shape!
I mean, a freaking waterfall. Smooth.
I'm a different gene Gene
I'm joking. Just put the blanket on him. Q*BERT: Bye.
If he leaves, I leave. We're a team. Stop it.
It's three on one. (ENGINE REVVING)
Keep going. Okay.
Knock you out the frame Squat, squat
Let's put that on pause, Sean. Thank you.
Like a date? Like a date, but...
looking for extraterrestrial life? Mmm hmm.
Ludlow Lamonsoff, the Wonder Kid? Yeah.
LUDLOW: Hey! (EXCLAIMS)
Me? Yes, you. Come here.
Mmm hmm. No.
Mmm hmm. The perfect couple.
Mmm. (SCOFFS)
Mole on the chin? No.
Morning, Colonel. Good morning, Michael.
Moving on. Yeah.
Mr. President! Mr. President!
Oh, God. Are you kidding? I wanna know.
Oh, God. I hear that. (SIGHS)
Okay, I won't bring it up, then. Thanks.
Okay, look, Eddie, here's what we need. EDDIE: I know what you need.
Okay. I'm leaving. No, no, no. Hey, here, come on.
Only as a last resort. What are you...
Pass. Pass?
PlayStation 4, 7.1 surround sound speakers. Mmm hmm.
Put it back on the desk. LUDLOW: Fair enough.
Q*BERT BABY 1: Daddy! Q*BERT BABY 2: Daddy! Daddy!
REPORTER: Mr. President! Please! Yes, Renee.
Right? I can't authorize a military response
Right. Thank you for reminding me. Uh huh.
Singin' We will, we will rock you
Singin' We will, we will rock you
Sir? Okay. Thank you.
so have fun doing whatever you're doing. Mmm.
So there's no mass panic yet. Well, good.
Thank you. Thank you. Thanks.
That's it. Look away! (ALL CHEERING)
There it is! Good. (CHUCKLES)
There was something I had to tell you. Why didn't you call me, then?
They promised me an island if I did this. Ah.
They're ready for you, Mr. President. COOPER: Great.
This a different league League
Three new world records set. Oh, yeah.
Turn it off. (CLEARS THROAT)
Two different nostrils? No!
Two hundred and fifty nine points (CHEERING)
Uh huh. And limber.
Very good. Good piloting, Maverick!
Video games. Video games.
VIOLET: Ludlow, go left. (TIRES SCREECHING)
Wanna talk about it? No.
What do we train for? War!
What is that? This is moisturizer.
What the hell are you saying? I don't know!
What? Everything was not okay.
What? Hey!
What? No, just you. Whoa.
What's all this then, mate? Hey, I got this. Hi.
What's goin' on? Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Who is this person? The sandwich guy?
Why are you following me? Oh, God.
Why do we fight? To win!
Why do we fight? To win!
You all right? Yeah.
You are my sprinkle monster! (GROWLING)
You brushed your teeth. Yes! Yes.
You can do this. Uh, no.
You got it. Oh!
You know what, that's not happening. Fair enough.
You okay? Yeah.
You will? Mmm hmm.
You're a cheater. So what?
You're ruining the country! Yeah, we're all in this together, now.
...and I think we have something very special.
...at Joseph Knibb Elementary School to promote his new youth reading initiative.
...now!
'cause he just drove that ball into the gap hard.
'Cause I'm the champ, Lieutenant Long Legs.
'Cause I'm this close to figuring out the secret of the Bermuda Triangle.
'Cause in my lane no controller but me playin' my game
'Cause like I said, nerds are the greatest kissers.
'Cause my hands are blazing fast,
'Cause they're bad mother...
'Cause we appreciate it more.
'cause we'll never remember what you just said.
'Cause you're invading my space. Back up.
'Course, buddy. I love ya.
'Sup, Second Place?
"and now I'm stuck starin' at the Filet o' Fish sandwich."
"bitch"?
"Brenner this" and "Brenner that."
"but then let herself go and got a potbelly and turkey neck
"Catatastrophic."
"Great likelihood"? You're sending my men into battle with untested ordnance?
"I used to stare into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen,
"Mittens jumped up onto the table and knocked over the whole bowl of soup.
"Mrs. Fire Blaster this. Mrs. Fire Blaster that."
"Mrs. Pickles gassed... Gasped."
"Oh, God. No," what?
"This is cast... (CLEARS THROAT)
"This was casta...
"Whoa, I should have brushed my teeth before I left the house this morning."
"World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore.
"World hero"? I guess you're not a nerd anymore.
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL SPEAKING TOGETHER)
(ARCADE GAMES PINGING)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
(BARKING)
(BEEPS)
(BEEPS)
(BEEPS)
(BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING)
(BIDDY BANDITS EXCLAIMING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BRENNER GRUNTING)
(BRENNER GRUNTS)
(BRENNER LAUGHING)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHILDREN CHEERING AND APPLAUDING)
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES) And cake.
(CHUCKLES) Why is that?
(CHUCKLES) You just got fire blasted, sucka.
(CHUCKLING)
(CLICKS TONGUE) I blew it.
(COIN DROPS)
(COOPER CHUCKLING ON TV)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(DOOR BUZZES)
(DOOR CLOSING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(EXHALES)
(FEEDBACK SCREECHES)
(FEEDBACK)
(GAME BEEPING)
(GAME ON PLAYING)
(GAME PINGING)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GIBBERING)
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROWLING)
(GROWLING)
(GROWLS)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GUARDS SNICKERING)
(HORN BLARING)
(IN FRENCH ACCENT) The next challenge will not be as easy.
(INHALES SHARPLY) not at every game.
(JEERING INTENSIFIES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS ECSTATICALLY)
(LAUGHS MANICALLY)
(MAN GRUNTS)
(MAN SINGING IN THE STYLE OF TRUE IN HINDI)
(MOCKINGLY) Somebody's more important.
(MUFFLED) Yes, Jennifer.
(MUMBLING)
(MUMBLING)
(MUMBLING) Galaga.
(PEOPLE CLAMORING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
(PERSON CLEARS THROAT)
(PINGING)
(Q*BERT GRUNTING)
(Q*BERT GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING) I'm trying to save the world from annihilation!
(SEATBELT CLICKS)
(SHIVERING) So much blood!
(SIGHS) A new 85 inch, 4K, 3D TV,
(SIGHS) Our Air Force base in Guam was attacked.
(SINGING) She's gone
(SINGING) Welcome to your life
(SIREN WAILING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
(SIRENS WAILING)
(SNARLING)
(SNICKERING STOPS)
(SNIFFLES)
(SNIFFS) You smell so nice, like the Book of Genesis.
(SOBBING)
(SOBBING) Oh, God.
(SOFTLY) Hey.
(SOFTLY) No idea what she just said.
(SOFTLY) We'll talk later.
(SOLDIER COUGHS)
(SOLDIERS CLAMORING)
(STRAINED GRUNTING)
(STUTTERS) What did she say?
(SURRENDER PLAYING)
(SURRENDER PLAYING)
(TAKES SUNGLASSES)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(TOOTS SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT)
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING)
(TRUE PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)
(TSKS)
(TURNS TV OFF)
(VIOLET GRUNTS)
(VOICE DISTORTING) at coordinates 27 24' 79".
(WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING)
(WE WILL ROCK YOU VONLICHTEN PLAYING)
(WHISPERING) Hey, what's up?
(WHISPERING) it's a game changer.
(WHISPERING) the monster was real.
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(WOMAN SHRIEKING)
(WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND PLAYING)

Viral
Funny