Tim Hawkins Soundboard Edit

All My Friends Have Hip Replacements #garth brooks song new lyrics #by tim hawkins #tripped or fell in garage or basements #bones are frail #wheelchair races

Bob Dylan Doing The National Anthem #bob dylan #national anthem done differently #tim hawkins

Bob Marley Style National Anthem #national anthem reggae style #bob marley style #oh say can you see #by the dawns early light man #tim hawkins

Boys are Violent #i like that girl ill throw a rock at her #i must prove my love #as she bleeds she will know my affection #boys are violent #tim hawkins

Buddhist Gets Smacked #show me a one hand clap #i smacked him across his face #friend is buddhist #tim hawkins

Christian Cuss Words #shucks crapola toot #rats shizzle #you almost stepped in crapola #not bad bad words #christian cuss words #tim hawkins

Christian Cuss Words 2 #holy moly holy stinkin moly #holy smokes holy macorolyl #turd fiddle sticks #flippin horse feathers patooty #fooey shut the front door #alternative words #tim hawkins

Christian Cuss Words 3 #for heavens sake #for the love of pete #for petes sake #for cryin out loud #jumpin jehoshaphat #j ho is mad calm down #christain cuss words #tim hawkins

Closed on Sunday #chick fil a #rotten trick #sunday

Come to My Funeral, it's Gonna be Fun #theres gonna be a party #there will be a dj #throw your hands in the air #tim hawkins

Complicated Coffee Order #listen here is what i want #tall skinny sugarfree decaf #soy vanilla latte #extra hot whipcream dbl sleeve no cup #praying the employee heard that #starbucks coffee #complica

Dave Matthews National Anthem #different style of the national anthem #dave matthews #chicken clucking sound #put your hand on your heart #sing to the flag #tim hawkins

Eagles Getting Old We Are Open All Day #on a dark country highway #cool wind in your hair #smell of a corn dog #see a sign in the distance #sayin we are open all day #eagles #tim hawkins

Eric Clapton Should Sing Rogaine #change words as you get older #hair lines declined rogaine #when the days begun put some of this on rogaine #got a bald spot #want to keep what youve got #tim hawkins

Every Nook and Cranny #my mom used phrases #i didnt understand #clean every nook and cranny #whats a nook #whats a cranny #tim hawkins

Feel Like I'm in Alabama #bring lights up #ugly faces #alabama

Finish the Song Lynyrd #freebird #shorten it up #really long song #i got things to do

Garth Brooks New Lyrics #my buddies and me once wild and free #now we aint doin so great #used to tear up the town #now were all in bed by 8 #garth brooks #tim hawkins

Getting Older, Garth Brooks #sippin ensure #all we ever do is complain #our parties are fewer #talk about the weather #getting older with gart brooks

Getting Older? Keep Singing #just change your songs #village people do aarp #keep singing #tim hawkins

Give a Man a Fish For a Day

Have You Eaten? #mom always worries if ive eaten #did you eat son #you look terrible #mom i weigh 210 #no you look like a freak circus boy #have you eaten

Heard You've Been Messin Around #inappropriate wedding song #bad idea #heard it from a friend #tim hawkins #bad song for a wedding

Houston Zoo cost $72 #we should be able to eat an animal #who wants the neck best part of the giraffe #houston zoo is expensive #eat what you pay for #tim hawkins

I Ain't Afraid of Death #death where is thy sting #bring it well not right now #believers dont have to be afraid #tim hawkins

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Lookin For #inappropriate wedding song #that wouldnt be good #tim hawkins

I Want to Be Left Alone #when you want to be left alone #go to the mall and hold a clipboard #avoid the clipboard people #tim hawkins

I'd Like a Less Violent Menu #how are your pancakes #they make you wanna hit your dad with baseball bat #do you have a less violent menu #i dont want to hurt anybody #i just want some food #tim hawkin

I'm a Greeter At Walmart in California #i work the door #at the superstore #i hand out stickers at a store in california #my desk is blue #my hair is too #tim hawkins

I'm in Love with Chick Fil A #song parody #food fetish #chick fil a

Inappropriate Wedding songs What's Love Got to Do With It? #inappropriate to sing #wedding songs #whats love got to do with it #tim hawkins

KC and The Sunshine Band Putting on Orthopedic Shoes #to dance with you is my favorite thing #when i hit the floor i really feel the pain #i need to put on my orthopedic shoes #to boogie with you #tim

Lady, Did You Actually Just Make that Sound? #sea lion in row 5 #lets calm down #loud laugh #honking laugh

Led Zepplin in Church #new worship music #mountains bow down #contemporary church #keeping your attention

Neil Diamond, Getting Older Jello #jello again jello #i always eat jello #i love that jiggly thing you do #you make lunch great #i can hardly wait #jello #tim hawkins

Neil Young National Anthem #different version #my my hey hey #look at the flag shes startin to wave #tim hawkins

Not Enough Hand Sanitizer #welcome good to have yall #washing hands in sanitizer #you have 4 kids more sanitizer #from arkansas use whole bottle

Now Boarding The Unwashed Masses #flying first class #all successful people #lastly boarding the unwanted #gypsys tramps and thieves #put your shoes on #grab you chickens and crates #we gonna fly #tim

Phone use in Church #angry birds #bible app #dramatized version #phones in church

She's My Best Friends Girl #inappropriate wedding song #not a good song choice #tim hawkins

Should Have Monitored My Credit Report #working fast food #why me #parody #free credit report #selling t shirts

Sourthern Slang at Cracker Barrel #hows your biscuits n gravy #make you wanna slap your mamma #southern waitresses #tim hawkins

Survivor Church #every week a staff member gets voted off #tim hawkins #survivor show

That Ain't Fair #my wife gets mad #i behave wrong in her dreams #that aint fair #tim hawkins

The Who Who Am I? #old rock stars changing words #who am i #who the heck are you #tim hawkins

There's a Lot of Hand Sanitizer in Church #hand sanitizer in church #greeters #not a good message

Tom Petty Singing Don't Come in My Yard No More #old rock star and song #tom petty #dont come in my yard no more #youve ruined my lawn before #h e y #tim hawkins

Where Farts Go #conversation on the plane #existence is the universe thinking about itself #where i think farts go #tim hawkins

Who Is That Lady? #inappropriate wedding song #oops I'm sorry #tim hawkins

Who Put Light Switch Next to Garbage Disposal #sneak in late #sound of garbage disposal #mom was on me like a panther #where have you been #why are you late #tim hawkins

You Can't Always Get What You Want #inappropriate wedding song #you can try sometimes #you might get what you need #tim hawkins