Bananas Soundboard Edit

A boy. He... He was really... No, he was really nothing like you.

A bullet rings out.

A complaint?

A delante.

A land where no man is better than the next

A New York ******* intellectual communist crackpot.

A reminder, in a way, of how it was in March of 1964 at Miami Beach

A ritual as old as the city itself.

A verdict has been reached in the Fielding Mellish case.

After we win the revolution, we are free.

Against all the terrible hazards that await us.

Ah, Nancy. You may call me Fielding.

Ah, Señor Fielding.

Ah, the two of us together.

Al Mellish, remember?

All around, there are colourful flags and hats.

All citizens will be required

All right, don't worry. I know what I'm doing.

All right, men, let us sing the song of the rebels.

All right...

All the tuna on whole wheat,

All you have to do is open up with a joke, a funny story.

American television. Please let me through.

And a sense of not wanting or being jealous of the thing a person possesses.

And all of the others who have made this possible,

And all the bacon, lettuce and tomato, let me have with toast.

And also coleslaw for 900 men.

And are both now ready for the consummation of their marriage.

And down!

And er...

And everybody is about as excited and tense as can be.

And he's a warm, wonderful human being.

And here comes Mellish. Listen to that crowd roar.

And here for a play by play description is Howard Cosell.

And I felt that he... he wasn't,

And I used to rub the dirty parts.

And I wanna work with lepers on a leper colony.

And I was constantly electrocuting myself.

And I was in good form my breathing was good.

And I was just hoping that they'd let me go all the way and I did.

And I... I guess I had a good relationship with my parents. I...

And I... We... I... I'm awestruck.

And if it's humanly possible, I'm gonna break through these fans to talk to the two.

And if you've just joined us, we've seen a series of colourful riots

And in the sense of a presence and a being and a whole coming and going

And it has nothing to do with the fact that you're not bright enough.

And it has nothing to do with the fact that your teeth are in bad shape.

And not the dictatorship, which, as you know, has been our history.

And now the moment we've been waiting for is here.

And now, as is our annual custom,

And now, if you folks will bear with me for a moment,

And on the back wall, you'll notice there's a handle for each arm.

And others of his kind.

And present His Excellency with his weight in horse manure.

And replace him with a military dictatorship,

And San Marcos is a very poor one,

And so I want to do only what is right for my people.

And soon a new dictator will seize power.

And stopped beating me in the late spring of '44.

And the basketballs, as they're handled by Mr Mellish, develop reflexes.

And the National Rifle Association declares death a good thing.

And the tuna?

And there's equal opportunity for all and respect for law and order.

And to know you can rely on me.

And using the word "thighs" in mixed company.

And was sentenced to 15 years in prison.

And we feel that the United States should give full support to the rebels

And we'll get all the support we need.

And why are we here and everything. You like Chinese food?

And willing to carry on

And wishing you a most pleasant good night.

And you can voluntarily step down and return to your simple farming.

And you suck out the poison.

And you. All of us.

And, as I think is apparent, she is in very good physical condition.

And, er... let's see, Newsweek.

And, er... what to drink?

And... And I think I see... the door beginning to open.

Another must represent the revolution immediately.

Another will lead the raid. Not our future president.

Any idea how many you can put out a year?

Are given an adequate work out to sustain flexible arms.

Are now 16 years old.

Are we fighting for or against the government?

Are you being coy?

Are you kidding?

Are you offended by what Nancy just said, Fielding?

As a subversive imposter.

As you well know, more Americans suffer heart attacks from lack of exercise.

At last this country can finally bask in the sunshine of a true democracia.

Aw... you're cute.

Bananas

Bananas in pyjamas all aboard

Bananas ROTAT E

Bananas, bananas.

BananaSACANA

Bananaslanger

Barry's Bananas

Be assured of this, though. Wherever the action is, we will be there

Beautiful Bananas

Because his views are different from the views of the president

Besides, compared to these men, you are educated.

Blood. That should be on the inside.

But he does such nice work.

But I couldn't take it anymore.

But I knew I was leading at that point,

But I would like to give if you could receive.

But it should be practical and in the market within two years.

But now I am the state.

But soon there's gonna be a revolution in San Marcos,

But they don't know. After all, Señor Fielding Mellish is dead.

But they may live happily ever after. Again, they may not.

Buttressed by his trainer and his handlers.

By now, I could've been black.

Call Fielding Mellish.

Call me on Saturday. OK? It's those two pieces right there.

Call the first witness.

Camouflage can often save your life.

Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her.

Can you keep it down? I'm getting a headache.

Can you say what is missing from me?

Can you, like, define the meaning of love?

Castration, appendicitis. Either one.

CIA's not taking any chances this time.

Cinnamon toast and regular coffee.

Coleslaw, sir.

Come back. Back, back. More, more, more.

Come on. Come on.

Conspiracy to overthrow the government

Could I... kiss you once?

CUSTOMER: It certainly looks impressive.

Cut my throat?

Demonstrations, and peace marches.

Details on these and other stories in a moment.

Differences of opinion should be tolerated,

Dinner with the president?

Dinner with the president.

Dinner with the president.

Dinner with Vargas?

Do you have any gum?

Do you realise what that will do to my gargling?

Do you really? Yoga it's one of my great passions.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Do you think there is there any possibility that maybe we could get married?

Does the code name Sapphire mean anything to you?

Doesn't have to be tomorrow night. I'm wide open for the next six years.

Doing a sociological study on perversion.

Don't get on his back. Let him alone.

Don't put words in my mouth!

Don't worry about me, sweetheart. I'm like a cat.

Dr Mellish, you should let him have his own way.

Dysentery.

Each citizen of San Marcos will come up here

Egging me on.

Eight months ago.

El presidente may be coming out.

Emotionally, sexually and intellectually.

Enough to have his phone tapped.

Er... that's, er... 21. Where's 21?

Erm... (CLEARS THROAT)

Erm... and I was a nervous child. I was a bed wetter.

Esposito has a way of getting weapons, but I do not know the plan.

Esposito is timing it to coincide with the American Fourth of July,

Esposito wants to see you.

Even as I am trying to do now.

Every day we gotta hear this.

Every half hour.

Everyone is getting quiet.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Fascist... dictator.

Fast bananas

Few people realise that we lead the world in hernias.

Fielding from the Latin meaning "strong" or "with strength".

Fielding Mellish, the President of San Marcos,

FIELDING: I have a confession to make. NANCY: What, love?

FIELDING: Where were you on the night of June 23rd?

Following that, the leader of the Labour Union, Julio Doaz,

Following that, they had dinner

Fontainebleau Hotel?

For a live, on the spot telecast of the Fielding Mellish honeymoon night.

For one last word before he expires.

For that, we're going down on the playing area.

From this day on,

Furthermore, all children under 16 years old

General, a word from you, if you will, sir, for our viewers.

General. General, congratulations. General Emilio Molina Vargas.

Gentlemen, the Exec usiser.

Get a copy of Time magazine,

Get me Sanchez.

Get these people out of here.

Get your money from Vargas. We're the rebels.

Give me that. Here, take this, son.

GO BANANAS

Goes on trial tomorrow for fraud, inciting to riot,

Good afternoon. Wide World of Sports is in the little Republic of San Marcos

Good evening. I'm Roger Grimsby with the news at six.

Good evening. I'm Roger Grimsby with the news at six.

Good evening. Wide World of Sports is here in the Royal Manhattan Hotel

Good flavour. Smooth, too.

Hang up. I will call you back.

Has he given us any information about when they plan to strike?

Have you ever read the I Ching?

He brings cake for a group of people. He doesn't even bring an assortment.

He might lose the patient. You know Fielding.

He smokes 'em.

He stopped in San Marcos and contracted a disease

He took it in for me. And he doesn't even charge much.

He turns!

He uses you to make a big propaganda against us.

He was always being picked up at one demonstration or another.

He was an idiot. You know, a real idiot and, er...

He was, er... He was, er...

He will be held until Vargas agrees to free the sympathisers he has jailed.

He will cut your throat and bury you.

He's a bad apple, a commie.

He's going on vacation, and then he needs three days for the alterations.

Head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Hear me.

Hello?

Help! Help!

Here comes the bride, and she's got a lot of fans here.

Here we are. Here we are, sir.

Here, I'll make you some. It'll take two seconds to make some coffee.

Hey, Ralph, how much is a copy of Orgasm?

Hey, wake up. Esposito wants to see you. You all right? Hey, wake up.

Hi. I hope I'm not being pushy, but I just have always wanted to meet you.

Hi. I'm collecting names on a petition

His Excellency Emilio Molina Vargas

History sometimes chooses strange ways.

Horse manure? I thought they were diamonds.

How is it, Mellish? Can you hear the music clearly?

I am Mr Hernandez, the official interpreter.

I am sure you understand that.

I am your new president.

I can't believe it. I'm finally going home.

I can't hear you. I think we have a bad connection.

I can't receive. I don't know how I can help you.

I can't receive. My trouble is I'm receiving and I'm not able to give or to receive.

I can't receive... Oh!

I can't stand operetta. Please.

I did.

I do.

I don't know if you've been following it in the newspapers,

I don't know the first thing about public speaking.

I don't know. I was in the Black Studies programme.

I don't understand something.

I don't want to be president. You're making a big mistake.

I got bitten by a snake! Help!

I gotta see what conditions down there are like.

I guess now you'll have to announce your retirement.

I had a date with a girl. She called it off. There's a dock strike.

I had it again one night last week.

I have a lot of bells to ring,

I have been poisoned so many times, I have developed an immunity.

I have it right here.

I have many enemies and I rarely go out unless I'm in disguise.

I have to exterminate a few troublemakers.

I have to tell you something and I don't know how to break it.

I just don't think we should see each other anymore.

I knew something was missing.

I know, but I have more bells to ring and I have an early class tomorrow.

I like leprosy. I like cholera. I like all the major skin diseases.

I love Eastern philosophies.

I love leprosy.

I love you. I love you.

I make sure products are safe and practical.

I mean, being in women's lib, you'll need somebody to support you.

I mean, he's not the worst I've had. Not the best, but not the worst.

I mean, I don't wanna cast no aspersions.

I mean, I love you and you love me.

I mean, I'm a good sized snivelling dog.

I mean, it's not that I don't have fun with you...

I mean, you're terrific. He was just this little stupid clown.

I move for a mistrial.

I need three years and 363 days to get a degree.

I object, Your Honour. This trial is a travesty.

I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille,

I order the marshal to bind and gag you.

I really don't know what to say.

I really trained well for this and I think it held me,

I remember when I was a little boy, I...

I see the general off in the distance.

I should be working at a job that I have some kind of aptitude for.

I smoke 'em.

I spoke with the tailor's.

I tell you, ladies and gentlemen,

I think anyone could tell you that, my pet.

I think Mr Mellish is a little formal. (CHUCKLES)

I think Mr Mellish is a traitor to this country

I think they hit me once, actually, in my whole childhood.

I think we could probably do this again in the late spring.

I think we should leave the happy couple on that note.

I thought I had her in real trouble with the right hand up early,

I told you, I can't receive and I can't give.

I want it to look like the rebels killed him not later than tomorrow afternoon.

I want you in a way of cherishing your totality and your otherness

I wanted my son to be a great surgeon.

I wanted to tell you that tomorrow I'm gonna be going out of the country.

I was trying to find someplace for practice.

I was... I was always very shy when it came to girls. I...

I was... I was just checking.

I will not... I cannot suck anybody's leg who I'm not engaged to.

I will shut down the newspapers. I will train my soldiers.

I would not joke with this court if I were you.

I... I don't mean to bother you, but I think that you are terrific.

I'd love to have coffee, but I really don't have time.

I'll always wind up on my feet.

I'll bet that I could.

I'll get the shade.

I'll have details in one moment.

I'll have the g****fruit sections, two poached eggs,

I'll just... grab one of these.

I'll talk. I'll talk. But please turn it off. Please.

I'll try one.

I'm a products tester for a large corporation.

I'm busy.

I'm Fielding Mellish.

I'm Fielding Mellish.

I'm going down to San Marcos.

I'm going to the theatre.

I'm going to try and get in a word with the new dictator of San Marcos.

I'm gonna be president, right?

I'm not offended, but I don't agree with that. I was in great shape.

I'm not suited to this job.

I'm perturbed over the economic situation.

I'm so depressed. I'd kill myself if I thought that she would marry me.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I've known Fielding Mellish for years,

I'm sorry, I...

I'm up to advanced child molesting.

I'm willing to... No, it's perfectly OK.

I'm... I'm reminded tonight of the...

I've always been a great champion of the underdog.

I've been to... Yes, to the Vatican.

I've been training very hard for this, and I just gave a hundred per cent.

If I could only think of a way to convince the United States to give us money.

If I give a better life to my people,

If that's what you're asking me. I'm perfectly willing to...

If we can get it in the office, we can get it in the armed forces.

If you cannot resist disrupting the court,

If you're hungry, I could open a can of ribs if you want.

In a manner that keeps the back flexible and strong.

In a room with g****fruit and a love of a thing, of nature

In addition to that,

In the event of snakebite, you make an incision,

Incestuous relations with both his daughters simultaneously...

Is Fielding Mellish a threat to the security of the United States?

Isn't this Epstein vs. Epstein?

It doesn't. I swear to God.

It had... great pith.

It is in all the newspapers.

It is swift, rhythmic, coordinated.

It is war, my friend.

It must be someone willing to put his life in peril

It was one of the most exciting spectacles I've ever seen.

It was Vargas that tried to kill you, but in the uniforms of our people.

It will be very risky.

It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery

It's a tremendous drawback to your sex life.

It's all over. The marriage has been consummated.

It's coming, sir.

It's El presidente.

It's essential that you learn the art.

It's funny, I had this dream that I've had since I was a child.

It's hard to tell what may happen in the future,

It's not going to work out. It's no use, Fielding. I'm sorry.

It's not my personality. Do you have fun when you're with me?

It's only in the development stage at the moment,

It's over. It's all over for El presidente!

It's the same person, all right.

It's the... It's... It's the...

It's the... wrong crowd for this joke

It's... It's a little light.

It's... metaphysical and redundant.

Jesus. Life is so cruel.

JUDGE: Yes, there is.

Just how long will it be before I can go back to New York?

Just something is missing. I need a very strong man.

KUSHFUL BANANAS

Leave a little air.

Let me ask you, how can I find out more about your cause?

Let's go back to Jim McLane in our studios in New York.

Let's go to the salón for a brandy

Let's go. Move this out. Come on.

Let's pick him up and throw the book at him.

Like donating sperm to an artificial insemination lab.

Listen, I want to make a reservation for one single room. Yes.

Listen, Mellish, you wanna play poker tonight? We got room.

Listen, why don't you take my phone number here...

Locusts of all races and creeds...

Look, I...

Macho Man Unripe Bananas

Making a fool of me!

May be some poison in my food... but I am OK.

May I ask, what do you do?

Me and my friends have backed you from the very beginning

Mellish and his new bride were married this morning

MileiBananasGorila

MileiGorilaBananas

Mr Hoover, in your opinion,

Mr Mellish... what is your nationality?

My Hands Are Bananas

My name isn't Martin. It's Al.

Nancy and Fielding Mellish, in the most real sense, are now man and wife,

Nancy, now that this whole thing is over,

NANCY: Oh, that was wonderful. It was practically a religious experience

New Testament cigarettes.

New York garbage men are striking for a better class of garbage.

Nice? Well, it's a turbulent situation,

No difficulties of any kind?

No, but do you love me? You know what I mean?

No, I can't. It's ridiculous.

No, it has nothing to do with the fact that you're short,

No, it will not be stopped. It continues.

No, no, no. We get another tailor.

No, no, we'll kill him as planned dressed as rebels.

No. And it's not because I don't love you.

No. I don't remember.

No... But it's not that.

No... no.

Nor do I. He made cuffs in my pants.

Not the actual Ching itself, but I've dabbled in Kierkegaard.

Not yet, but he will when our men get through working him over.

Notice the basketballs coming from inside the machine,

Now I've got to walk around like this for two days.

Now we're going to have to see what the future brings.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I was due at my mother's house for dinner

Now, in that spring activation, both muscles in the biceps

Now, on behalf of Nancy and Fielding Mellish

Now, once he's asleep, there will be no trouble.

Now, then, despite the tiny size of our nation,

Now... Mellish begins to make his moves and so does Nancy.

Occupation?

Of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.

Of course, if they're foolish enough to try to overthrow,

Of the farmer who had

Of this career of yours.

Of torturing hundreds of women and children.

Officer Dowd, have you ever had sexual relations with a girl

Oh, boy, I'd like to do that.

Oh, excuse me, señor.

Oh, good.

Oh, I have a yoga class tomorrow night and I couldn't miss that.

Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, my God.

Oh, really? Which one? Is it the big guy at the end?

Oh, say it in French. Please say it in French.

Oh, that's a great school. I ate in their cafeteria once.

Oh, wait. You forgot to sign my petition.

Oh, well... It was... pithy.

Oh, women's rights do not automatically mean castration.

Oh, would you like to volunteer for the Volunteers for San Marcos?

Oh, yeah. That sounds... Oh... when?

Oh... don't say that word.

OK, I just wanted to make sure you were getting it.

OK? Bye. I may be bombing an office building, but I'll find out.

OK. What about the coleslaw?

Once you have them laughing, then you hit them for money. Simple.

Opposed to any concept of civil liberties. Would you sign?

Orgasm. This man wants to buy a copy. How much is it?

Our food has run out. We must make a raid on the town.

Perfect.

Perhaps one day you will be a tiger.

Pith

Please rise. Court is now in session. Judge Seymour Watson presiding.

Please, no more Polish women.

Plus he has a history of subversive acts,

Ready... aim... fire!

Ready... aim... fire!

Really terrific, and, erm...

Remember, you suck out the poison.

Requests the pleasure of your company at dinner this evening.

Ribs? I'd love some coffee, but I have a lot of work to do.

Right now, from the little dictatorship of San Marcos in Latin America,

Right now, I am the law.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Ruth, don't talk to him about going away.

Ruth, we've been married 27 years.

See what I mean?

See, Nancy, I've... I've always been devoted to humanity.

Señor Fielding, dinner is served. Will you please?

Señor Fielding, may I say what a great pleasure it is

She kept tormenting me.

She was gonna write it. I was gonna type it.

Shit is bananas

Shit!

Should that be blue like that?

Should they attack, our men are ready.

Silence.

Sir, you've been shot. When did you know it was all over?

Six months? I got a rented car.

Snakebite!

So as to imitate his hero George Washington.

So I had a kind of rough time there. I couldn't stop laughing, and I just...

So there really wasn't any time that I didn't feel in complete control.

So we can check.

So your government would blame Esposito.

So, by the way, are most of the women of San Marcos.

So, what do you think will happen if you show your face anyplace but here?

So, what would you have been if you had finished school?

Some of us are for them and some of us are gonna be against them.

Some old friends are coming over.

Somebody with whom I can exchange contemporary political ideas and opinions.

Sometimes food is more valuable than gold.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sponge. Jesus.

Suck out the poison.

Suck out the poison.

Sure.

Take 'em all.

Take a bunch of bananas & stick it

Take a look at this jacket it was much too big.

Take it away, Howard.

Take it away, Howard.

Talk to him about going to college to become a doctor.

Talk, you fool, and we'll stop the phonograph.

Tell the court why you think he is a traitor to this country.

Tell the court why you're dressed like this.

Tense? No.

Thank you, Father.

Thank you.

That has to be lifted on top of the desk,

That is to protect them from communism.

That Mellish will not move into his neighbourhood.

That shit is Bananas

That started with the traditional bombing of the American Embassy,

That we killed you.

That will be 24,000 pesos, sir.

That you remain the most hated man in the state.

That's a real idiot's job.

That's a wonderful thing. What is the meaning of life and death?

That's assuming I can get through this noisy and demonstrative crowd.

That's enough.

That's it. It's over.

That's the price we pay.

That's too light.

That's understandable under the circumstances.

That's... No, I can't. I have a meeting of my women's liberation group.

The action growing more rigorous.

The Americans won't recognise us, 'cause they think we're communists.

The atmosphere heavy, uncertain, overtones of ugliness.

The bride wore the traditional virginal white, as did Mellish.

The communists won't recognise us, 'cause they think we're American puppets.

The crowd is tense. They've been here since ten this morning.

The doctor comes in to examine the cut.

The door opens. It's he.

The first week of July.

The judge suspended the sentence in return for the promise

The men have a growing respect for you.

The new dictator talking to one of his men.

The official language of San Marcos will be Swedish.

The one thing he doesn't want is for you to show up and tell the world the truth.

The pedalling action develops the muscles and keeps the leg muscles flexible.

The People versus Fielding Mellish.

The president is going to leave his office and walk down the steps of the palace.

The rebels may be in the form of democratic guerrilla factions off in the hills.

The turnout has been gigantic,

The two are working together closely,

The UJA is the United ******* Appeal.

The United ******* Appeal?

The Vatican? The Vatican's in Rome.

The weather on this Sunday afternoon is perfect,

Then an outraged United States

Then he becomes a subversive mother.

Then I have made a deal for reinforcements with the UJA.

Then you give and I'll receive.

There are a great many things we have to offer your country in return for aid.

There will be no elections until I decree it.

There's just something missing for me and I don't know what.

There's two roast beefs on here. What did you have?

These are pretty cool bananas

These locusts, incidentally, are available at popular prices.

They also fail to realise that before Columbus discovered your country,

They are tense, but they swell to a tremendous cheer.

They are too weak to defeat me.

They don't make cherry on Tuesday.

They started beating me on the 23rd December 1942

They very rarely hit...

They're in a frenzy. They're trying to get over to El presidente

They've got the revolutionary incense filter.

This is a country of peasants. At least you can read.

This is Colonel Diaz... and Lieutenant Arroyo.

This is Mr Fielding Mellish, one of our company's research testers,

This is tremendous, Don, just tremendous.

This man is attempting the overthrow of the United States government.

This reporter is going to get to him, if he can, through this mob

This short straw will go.

This should be a great seller in California.

Thousands will have died in vain,

Time is getting short, but I have a plan.

To a guy like me, the greatest crimes are the crimes against human dignity.

To change their underwear

To entertain an American intellectual?

To help busy executives getting their daily exercise

To request the United States government to break relations with San Marcos

Today I tested an exercise machine

Today you are fearful.

Today's top stories:

Uh oh.

Underwear will be worn on the outside,

Uno... dos.

Uno... dos. Uno... dos.

Uno... dos. Uno... dos.

Unripe Bananas Macho Man

Vargas cares very little for diplomatic procedures, my friend.

Vargas has told everyone that you are dead.

Very simple. Open with a funny story, and then hit 'em for money.

Viva San Marcos!

Viva.

Want to come in? I have a pencil. And I'll give you another pencil.

Warm.

Was dragged from his home and beaten by an angry mob.

We are in the rebel camp with Esposito.

We can let you have the idea, we can let you have our package.

We can let you have the whole thing on a royalty basis.

We can show you how to turn it out. We can show you how to save money.

We captured this rebel soldier this morning, Excellency.

We grow bananas.

We have fun when we laugh. Don't tell me that we haven't laughed.

We have nothing to worry about them.

We missed him. We get most of them.

We must have a new leader.

We shall continue our policy of harassment.

We went everyplace together. We did everything. We fell in love.

We were gonna go down there together on a trip.

We... we have more locusts than...

We'll act as your shield in the event of trouble.

We'll find the rebels.

We'll probably have a videotape replay of that later on.

We're getting through now.

We're gonna show some pornographic movies.

We're here to see that your safety is ensured.

Well, as long as it was fair.

Well, as you know, I'm extraordinarily ticklish,

Well, good luck to you, sir. Good luck to you.

Well, Howard, it all went by so fast. I just had no idea that it'd be so quick.

Well, I am an American citizen and also the President of San Marcos.

Well, I think I'll be ready by the late spring...

Well, lithen, I have to...

Well, of course you're upset.

Well, that's not... I don't know where. I love you.

Well, then maybe it's my fault.

Well, they were doing so well in Rome that they opened one in Denmark.

Well, we'd like you to manufacture them.

Well, you have earned it.

Well, you see, I'm a person who can only receive if another is giving.

Well, you've heard it with your own eyes.

Well... no. Maybe if you could guess a few things, I could try.

What about Hebrew?

What am I appearing at a fundraising dinner for?

What are the... What are your prices?

What do you mean, "define"? It's love. I love you.

What do you think?

What is this with my education? I had two days of college.

What the hell is this stuff anyhow?

What's that? A cut over Mellish's right eye.

What's the matter? You look glassy eyed.

When can our men get the rebel uniforms?

When Clay met Liston for the first time

When do you anticipate your next bout?

When I was younger, I used to sleep with an electric blanket

When is the revolution set for?

When Mr Mellish pulls the drawer out, you'll see a weight

Where am I?

Where do I come off testing products? Machines hate me.

Where does he get enough weaponry?

Where I'm...

Where we're going to bring you a live, on the spot assassination.

Where's the bathroom?

Which can today be cured with one shot of penicillin.

Which exercises his arms and his back muscles.

Which is being ruled by a total military brutal dictatorship

While we carry out a diversionary raid,

Who will demonstrate the Exec usiser.

Why did I quit college? I could've been something today.

Why don't you see what Norma's doing? She's always ready for action.

Will see how bloodthirsty beasts Esposito and his men are

With ABC's Wide World of Sports to cover it.

With really big breasts?

Without ever pausing in their crowded work schedule.

Without written permission from the State Department.

Would the clerk read that statement back, please?

Would you like some coffee or something?

Would you people let me through? This is American television.

Would you... Would you mind if I kissed you... once?

Wouldn't you or couldn't you?

Yeah, but what other ways?

Yeah, but who?

Yeah, look, I gotta be going. It's... late for me.

Yeah, we'll straighten him out.

Yeah, well, I'm very much alive, and I mean to lodge a formal complaint.

Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm gonna miss everybody here.

Yeah...

Yes, but Esposito and his rebels are not communists.

Yes, Howard. I thought that I'd have to finish it up quick,

Yes, I did.

Yes, I love you. I love you.

Yes, indeed.

Yes, it's true. I lied!

Yes, over here I'm president, but over there I'm a college dropout.

Yes, well, freedom is wonderful. On the other hand, if you're dead,

Yes, you cannot bash in the head of an American citizen

Yes.

Yeth. Pith.

Yoga night? I love yoga.

You always loved our cause.

You cannot forget that?

You gotta be smart to be a president. Let me be vice president.

You have a chance to die for freedom.

You join us with the action just about to start.

You know when your heart beats?

You know, I thought it'd really get in my way, but...

You know, I was just saying to someone the other day that the Scandinavians

You know, I was just saying to... Have you ever been to Denmark?

You know, it's very funny, but you remind me of somebody that I once knew.

You know, just... I don't know why I even mentioned it, but..

You know, the timing was a little off, but I think he'll be fine.

You may say that, sir, but many important diplomats contend

You must go to the United States. You must convince them.

You need an usher?

You realise what a communist missile base in San Marcos would do to us?

You should've stayed in school and followed study.

You two will seize him,

You will fertilise your personal crops.

You will fight a hero,

You, er... You busy tonight?

You'd better get some rest, Luis. You're beginning to talk gibberish.

You'll notice every part of the body receives an adequate exercise work out.

You'll notice that the telephones are both spring activated.

You're a liar. That's only two months away.

You're accused of killing over 1,000 people in your term of office,

You're looking at me in a strange way, fellas.

You're not tense... are you?

You're not... You don't have hostility to the male sex?

You're out of order.

You're the president of San Marcos.

Your witness.

Your witness.

100% bananas

500 cokes and 1,000 7 Ups.

...consistent loser at the table. That's my weakness. I lose a lot.

...will be delightful. ...will be delightful.

'Hello? Who is this?' ('HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES')

(BELL RINGS) The action has started.

All right. Here you go.