Duck Dynasty (2012) - Season 1 Edit

A few sets of camouflage pants...

A human being can have while on the Earth.

A party's not a party without jambalaya.

A possum will scare you.

A redneck stunt if I ever seen one.

A skunk smell is more like a bad case of B.O.

A true duck hunter, he needs to hear a live duck every once in a while

A whole bunch

A whole lot of things they can't learn in school.

A whole lot of things they can't learn in school.

About that raggedy R.V. parked in my yard.

After taking on an angry swarm of bees twice...

Ah!

Ah! Get 'em off! [ Groans ]

Ain't nothing sweeter.

All hands on deck

All of 'em Willie's boys, Jason boys...

All of a sudden you got sophisticated, and you think you're better than us

All of a sudden you're gonna come up with five years it was your idea?

All of my stories, they're 95% truthful.

All rig ht)'

All right, big boy. Go to the A.T.M. machine. Make it hundreds.

All right, boys. Let's get to work.

All right, boys. No sudden movements.

All right, children, we have our next visitor for career day.

All right, ease on down.

All right, easy.

All right, I'll start this off with, “Students” Remember when you did that before?

All right, Kay is gonna start it off

All right, set her up.

All right. See y'all later.

All right. So, where are the decoys?

All right. What happened? What happened, Red?

All these scissor lifts have an emergency switch on 'em.

All we have is a picture of the DVD cover and nothing to go inside the case.

All women love money. Works every time.

All you want to do is just eat more of 'em.

An R.V. in the trees? I thought it was brilliant.

And a long standin', good relationship with your woman in the future

And ain't nothing finer than rich frog legs taken off of a fine golf course.

And all Jase wants to do is catch one more frog.

And apologize for mistakes made.

And believe me, when she's angry, it's all over her face.

And don't go running off with your irresponsible brothers

And Duck Commander always pitches in.

And especially the squirrel brains...

And for that we are grateful.

And guess what was hangin' out? White underwear.

And half the people didn't know my name.

And he shoots this wolverine in the head.

And he's not even part of the family.

And here comes a security guard.

And I can't fire you because you're kin to me!

And I get back here and I look at this [ Bleep ].

And I have my two assistants that I hope will

And I'm gon' watch the show.

And I'm grabbing up in there and one, two, three...

And I've got a legitimate excuse!

And in the end, peace of mind will come your way.

And it'll just topple over right there.

And Jase is loading the boat down with opelousas cat and big fine blues.

And manages the assembly team.

And me and you leave with the honey.

And old big Johnny Godwin.

And on a spur of the moment, I said...

And our way of life forever

And right now, Godwin's the only one working...

And said, “This would be a gizzard.”

And she doesn't have to be a pretty girl.

And she love to eat bullfrogs...

And she's all mad and act like “I'm mad.” It's funny.

And she's worried about where the trucks gonna pull on out.

And that duck pond? That was my idea.

And that's just one of 'em right there.

And then the final and most important thing is the Bible.

And then you come out with a duck call, and you say “Tested and tried with real ducks.”

And they was like them bombers in war movies.

And two beautiful women...

And unfortunately, we don't always make the best ones

And we need thousands in our bin to ship out.

And we thank you for all the things that live in them.

And we're gonna go get frogs tonight?

And we're standing there shooting ducks out of it.

And you and I will go into the library.

And you can't tell me that somewhere deep down...

And you just blew it off for golf?

And you pulled up, guns a blazin'.

And you see a truck out there, you know what happened

And you'll see the white patch of belly with two eyes illuminated.

And you're saying, “You need to make money.”

And you're talking about fixin' to get rid of some of it?

Any other time, you'd have been right there with us, Will.

Any time there's a choice between two bearded men...

As much stuff as you've got around here...

As you know, your mama's been on my back...

At a pretty good speed, I'm gone.

At my church, everywhere I go, people want to know how I cook my food.

At the little festival, this will be one of the ingredients...

At the rate you're going, it's gonna be about 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning...

Aw!

Ballpark, guesstimate, anyone?

Because I mean, this microwave stuff, you know

Because I think she's cute when she's mad.

Because I wanna see the response.

Because then he's gonna be so enamored by the fire

Bees are kinda like women, so we're gonna be real easy here.

Being a wealthy redneck does have its advantages.

Besides, Si's not at the office either. He's clearing beaver dams with Phil up the river.

Big buck deer the size of elks

Bingo.

Bingo.

Blow that sucker up.

Blowin' duck blinds, as much as I hate to say it.

Boom!

Boom. Wild honey and biscuits for everyone.

Boy, have we got a bunch of happy ducks in this little old pond

Boy, I'm proud of that job y'all did there.

Boy, this duck be fat. I wonder why he's so fat.

Boys, in Vietnam, we called that a successful ambush.

Boys, it looks like a million dollars. Let's raise it up.

Boys, this is what I was talking about.

Boys, we are in business

Bu! running a family business is tough.

Bu! running a family business is tough. .

Bu! running a family business is tough. .

Bunch of smoke blowin' clowns.

But also our greatest joy.

But at the end of the day, some things are worth waitin' for.

But he doesn't have a clear thinking on why I'm doing what I'm doing.

But he gets really sentimental.

But I do like 'em. I can't help it. They're good.

But I mean, I'm telling you, I'm trying to do something revolutionary here...

But I thought, “Well, I've lived with this junk in this house for years...

But in the end, butter's not so bad.

But in the end, we're a Emily first and a business second.

But it took him six months to come up with one.

But my mind's really on that duck call order that we screwed up.

But on the double reed system, I could do 1,000 a day in eight hours.

But other times, I've learned you have to let loose...

But she loves bullfrog legs! What can you say?

But since we're Duck Commander, we're gonna use duck decoys

But that doesn't pay the bills.

But that may not be a bad thing.

But they're still family.

But this is more nice.

But we have to get this DVD done today

But we have to run a business.

But when I look at Willie, I think if you saw him walking down the road...

But when they said, “Oh, yeah, you know him.

But you can't even spell squirrel without “S I,” and that's me.

But you got your redneck citizenship back.

But you know, it's typical. It's what I've come to expect.

But you stay married to one 45, 50 years, you learn to go with the quirks.

But, come to think of it, none of us have ever been stung at night, so we'll give it a shot.

But, hey, experience is the best teacher

Calm down

Can she cook?

Can we just not make this? Can we just reschedule this? Please?

Can y'all go do career day?

Can't play with the wind blowing like this, and leaves.

Catching these big opelousas catfish.

Clean this crap up.

Coffee maker. Huh?

Cole man, he said, “Hey, you gotta treat 'em like you would women.

Cole man, this is what all the fuss has been about.

Cole man, we're gonna take this honey to Miss Kay. She's gonna be happy, happy.

Come and get it.

Come back and see me.

Come on

Come on in, boys.

Come on, Cole man. I'm gonna show you how to do this

Come on! Come on, baby!

Comin' home with our tails torn up, it's embarrassing.

Could they have done that all along?

Decoys start gettin' lighter and lighter when they're in the sun.

Did it even work anyway?

Did what work?

Didn't you have a prior obligation today?

Dig in.

Do not tell me they're still on the roof.

Do that. Let's just do whatever. Let's just do it.

Does this fall under the category of “stupid human trick”?

Don't leave us!

Duck call making is all about research and development.

Educated and “unducated.”

Either be proud of who you are...

Especially the one I've spent 20 years shooting ducks out of.

Even

Every duck call we make at Duck Commander is made by hand.

Every time you get around Jase, you start acting just like him

Everybody get back in there. We're doing our job.

Everybody happy. happy, happy.

Everybody here is doing nothing.

Everybody wants to eat the pie, but nobody wants to help make the pie.

Everybody's saying it's just gonna take time.

Everything is usable. One man's junk is another man's treasure.

Exactly.

Explosions everywhere.

Family business means the family does the business.

Father, we thank you for another good day on planet Earth.

Father, we thank you for the woods, we thank you for the water...

Find you a meek, gentle, kind spirited... country girl.

Fire in the hole.

Five minutes before we start working, you got a career ending knee injury.

For that stunt you pulled blowing my duck blind up.

Forty frogs.

Forty seven years married to your mama.

Freedom!

Fresh honey can be compared to a $5,000 bottle of wine...

Fresh, fresh roadkill, $12 million...

Frog hunting's a three man job

Frog killing.

Frog pee, yeah. He peed on my hand.

From an old guy like me that would be very helpful.

Genius.

Germany, three or four places over there. Vietnam.

Get a little smoke in there to calm 'em all down.

Get way away from it, and suck all the bees up in it.

Gettin' rid of his chair's like gettin' rid of his dog.

Git him, Willie.

Give it the meaning you want it to have.

Go in there. You'll find it. You'll see 'em.

Go to the second set of double doors, first door on your right...

Go, Si. Go!

Godwin, where's your clothes at?

Good canned tomatoes from the garden.

Good luck getting that thing in the air.

Good night

Good old squirrel brains. [ Groans ]

Got too many irons in the fire.

Gotta be a good shot 'cause they quick, and they little.

Great job

Ha! Jase isn't irresponsible

Ha. I can't do it today.

Hang on. I got my slippers on.

Happy, happy, happy

Have y'all ever heard of the term “Nam”?

He always has trouble letting go of things and any kind of change

He comes in and just ransacks his cabin

He doesn't like to sweat.

He gets hung up on one, because “back in '87, we shot that whatever out of it."

He is a great dam builder...

He just He just peed on me

He just “heyed” again.

He just does it 24/7. He never stops.

He just pisses on everything in the cabin.

He just thinks showing up, oh, he's got this won

He speaks “duckanese.”

He took the whole thing way further than I ever would

He was like fat guy in a little coat?

He wears suits. I've never bought a suit in my life.

He'll sacrifice life and limb to get to frogs.

He's a suit man now.

He's back, Jase! He's back!

He's been in the woods all his life.

He's done forgot who he is.

He's forgot what it's like to be a redneck.

He's gonna be mad.

He's got a lot of headaches 'cause he's the C.E.O. of the business.

He's got a sixth sense about it. I'm telling you

He's got a wolverine in the trap...

He's like a blister. He shows up when the work's all gone.

He's like a duck whisperer.

He's lost his manhood.

He's over there like a scared little boy in a fetal position...

Hello?

Here's another one, son. Come on!

Here's the deal. Phil started the company.

Hey, are we gonna lift this thing up and put it up there or not?

Hey, buddy, I'll get you a new chair. How 'bout that?

Hey, get the generator. Godwin, Martin, you all stay here.

Hey, go right toward them bushes.

Hey, he's back in the boat.

Hey, I ain't doin' nothin'.

Hey, I didn't know Willie could move that fast.

Hey, I don't really care if they believe me or not.

Hey, I don't think it could have gone any better.

Hey, I told y'all about this night operation.

Hey, I'm behind y'all all the way.

Hey, I'm on my way.

Hey, it's war.

Hey, Jase. Hey, John

Hey, Jessica, the decoys are up there.

Hey, let's get back on the frogs. He'll be all right.

Hey, look. I thought that was a piece of trash. That's a turtle

Hey, Mountain Man.

Hey, Mountain Man.

Hey, Owen, let's go. Hey!

Hey, Red, you got it all wired up?

Hey, Si is always gon' go with the two beautiful women.

Hey, that baby wolverine grows up and declares war on this sucker.

Hey, that's a typewriter

Hey, that's how I roll.

Hey, there are casualties in war, boys

Hey, this is a good view.

Hey, we do a lot of work.

Hey, who bought these popcorn flavored jelly beans?

Hey, Willie.

Hey, you about to lose your cup.

Hey, you wanna kiss an old goat?

Hey! Let's get it done, boys

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. That's what I'm talkin' about.

Holy cow.

How 'bout y'all go clean up, and get ready for supper.

How do you catch something in the woods and eat it?

How many of them are down there like that?

How much time is that?

How'd he get in there?

However, we need a refurbishing of it.

Huh?

Hundred bucks a hole. You sure you wanna do this?

Hundred dollars goin' twice.

I am ready to play some sophisticated golf.

I apologize for the inconvenience.

I assume they're sleeping, kind of like Si on the job.

I been thinking. I have come up with a solution...

I been up for like 40 hours. I'm down there making a stupid DVD...

I bet I could sell one or two of these.

I bought it at a garage sale Korie's having down the road.

I can see that R.V. 20 feet up, camouflage net, brushed up.

I can't believe it.

I can't concentrate on the ball.

I can't stand up. My knee's hurting

I compare him to a young coon.

I could see 'em startin' to flutter.

I couldn't get that beehive we found off my mind.

I crawled under a fence, and when I did, it ripped my britches.

I didn't consider my chair, at this point, to be rummage.

I didn't think about that. Did you?

I do have hoarding tendencies.

I don't know why Korie's so mad anyway.

I don't like meat from the grocery store

I don't mind being left behind on this little excursion.

I don't remember having no career day at

I don't think they're paying as much for those beaver pelts anymore.

I don't think you're country club material, son

I drove up here and got y'all out of that.

I enjoyed their pain.

I figured they could pull in that patch right there

I get a shirt for every airport I go through. Give me that.

I get after Mom all the time. And it's just playful, and it's just joking

I give 'em a little river rat counseling free of charge.

I got another squirrel I can put him beside.

I got news for Willie. I won't be there.

I got one more batch, but this oughtta hold us for a while.

I got reinforcements coming.

I got stung in the neck.

I got the getaway vehicle ready

I gotta go tell the kids how to be successful.

I gotta say though money didn't change some things.

I guarantee you I can hit the ball as good as you out there.

I guess. I can't see the sky right now.

I had to cut 'em off. I got sprayed by a skunk.

I have assembled the frog catching dream team

I have caught thousands of frogs in my life.

I have found the frog heaven.

I have had so many people ask me to make a cooking DVD

I have no faith in Godwin and Martin.

I hear some kind of machinery, boys

I hear ya.

I heard somewhere that bees don't sting at night

I hope it holds.

I hurt it when he threw the possum at me.

I just didn't know what kind of snake it was.

I just got doughpopped by a thousand bees on the back of my head.

I kinda like that squirrel there.

I know one thing I'm beat just tearing out beaver dams, I tell you that.

I know this sounds crazy, but what were you doin' up on the roof?

I know you're sentimental toward it, but I'm just

I like it in there. It's nice.

I like to hunt too. I would like to hunt every day of the year...

I live here. Of course I've seen the room.

I love fried squirrel. I always have since I was a girl.

I love meeting new people.

I mean, anybody can get lucky once.

I mean, behind my name is “C.E.O.,” but in reality, Phil's gonna get what he wants.

I mean, even when my wife kisses me, she's like, “Oh, that was good.”

I mean, he is an artiste.

I mean, I can see it as something you'd say...

I mean, I find that in these situations..

I mean, I told Korie I was going.

I mean, if it's poisonous, I'm getting out of the boat.

I mean, is that Is he kidding?

I mean, it can be fixed.

I mean, it's not that bad.

I mean, on the one hand, you're gonna get stung by...

I mean, this is like some kinda deal outta Hollywood.

I mean, you can blow his house up. If it looks cool enough, he's fine with it.

I mean, you know, you can't buy these catfish, an opelousas, in a restaurant.

I need more slack.

I need some kind of lotion, and I need a pair of tweezers.

I need the decoys. You're out there tryin' to get honey in the middle of the night.

I need to be up there helping those guys.

I never leave home without them three things.

I never seen a bunch of rednecks accomplish so much so quickly.

I read somewhere that bees don't sting at night.

I removed the gizzard from the intestines.

I removed the gizzard from the intestines...

I said, “Oh, my goodness, this is the frog promised land.”

I say we make a cooking DVD on how to not make cooking DVD's.

I spent 24 1/2 years in the military.

I spent 24 1/2 years in the military...

I tell 'em stories, just like when I was in Vietnam.

I tell you what. I'll go out there and play you $50 a hole...

I think I told you like five years ago I wanted to do this

I think that's a direct hit.

I think there's a whole lot worse things going on in this world...

I thought I raised them boys with more sense than that.

I thought it was just gonna go to the dump, but they actually bought it.

I told Jase he needs to come and get one done one time.

I took care of it.

I took this turtle as a sign that this is where the pond needs to go.

I want 10 of it back, 'cause I just had to buy this back.

I want this honey so bad I can taste it.

I want to plan a trip to Canton.

I want to try to convert this security guard..

I want you to look how big this is.

I was just born that way.

I was shocked when I saw the yellow light come on..

I went out and sold thousands...

I will admit, Father, these were rather hard earned

I will have to admit, Willie, to his credit, as far as the business side..

I would consider that a delicacy of the highest order, Mr. Cole man.

I would feel sorry for the person working on Phil.

I would have probably worn different shoes if I knew I was gonna load.

I would rate Jason Robertson as one of the greatest frog catchers of all time.

I would say it's kind of a shock to a man's system, you know...

I would take $20

I'd go up to $1,000 to not say I'm sorry.

I'd rather have the squirrel, Willie.

I'll admit, the Shop Vac idea was not that successful.

I'll say when it's time.

I'm a duck blind builder from way back, but this one... is a little different.

I'm a frog's nightmare.

I'm an old C average man myself.

I'm fallin' down, breakin' my neck, gettin' stung a thousand times.

I'm fixin' to go crazy redneck up in here.

I'm fixin' to teach these kids..

I'm glad you blew it up, Will.

I'm goin' with the honey.

I'm gonna come out there and get you all. I'm gonna help you all down.

I'm gonna have a yard sale, and that's gonna be the first thing to go.

I'm gonna let them get out there and do it...

I'm gonna push down with this finger..

I'm gonna show you how to prepare it.

I'm his uncle, and, hey, I'm gonna take me a good two hour nap.

I'm just asking that you do it, you follow through with it...

I'm mature now. I have a job. I have responsibilities

I'm on it. I'm going squirrel hunting

I'm on the threshold of one of the greatest ideas...

I'm pretty sure it was my idea.

I'm pretty sure that no other members have had their family members...

I'm talkin' about usin' that to get the bees.

I'm talking about showing up for your commitments.

I'm tellin' you. We ought to get in the booth buildin' business.

I'm the only one here.

I'm, like, “Dad, you've gotta let these things go.”

I've done worse things than frog hunt all night long. Way worse.

I've got these grand kids now, a pretty good passel of 'em.

I've learned the hard way that sometimes you just have to man up...

I've seen you play. You're not good.

If I wasn't a member, they'd have taken you to jail.

If one screw falls out of it, all the walls will fall out...

If she knows how to cook and she carries her Bible and lives by it..

If she wants to fill her house up with a bunch of stuff, hey.

If there's anything out there that I don't like, it is the beaver.

If we don't, we're gonna all have to get real jobs, and none of us will get to hunt.

If we leave right now, I can get you all back at the house at 3:00 a.m.

If you act before thinking things through...

If you can race it, run it, try to win it, try to eat it, we're gonna be competing.

If you interject manual labor, injuries begin to occur.

If you see red eyes, it's a gator.

If you want to take something away from him, just blow it up...

If you're too busy to duck hunt or catch fish, you're too busy.

Immature and irresponsible.

In a minute, what you're gonna find out that making a pie crust is a lot like cooking.

In America, the art of cooking has dropped to such a low level...

In front of eighth grade girls

In Miss Kay's famous pecan honey pies.

In order to be tighter with those you love.

In the business, make money, make your business successful.

In this case, sweet honey from the bees...

Into a booming family enterprise.

Into a multimillion dollar empire

Into a multimillion dollar empire

Into a multimillion dollar empire.

Invented a revolutionary kind of duck call...

Is always cooking up new ways to expand the brand.

Is the harvest festival at the church stupid?

It It was a It was a

It can't just be a bland story.

It has a certain aroma to it.

It just needs time.

It kinda makes you see why the boys are like they are.

It may take a little more time than you'd like...

It seems ridiculous.

It stunk.

It was a dadgum possum.

It was just an old possum that had gotten up in that R.V...

It was one of the most fulfilling moments that I've ever had.

It's a good thing. Clean and honorable.

It's a long list of Si ence fiction, but they're pretty fun to listen to.

It's a no brainer.

It's a tree house for adults.

It's a whole lot of fun.

It's already a low spot there already.

It's already in the catalog. There's nothing we can do about it.

It's always food involved. Always

It's always that guy that comes to formation...

It's an acorn.

It's as if the loading dock was just reaching out and calling my name, saying..

It's automatic. I say hey. Hey.

It's been my studied opinion that once you get the title “C.E.O."...

It's got three reeds instead of two.

It's hard to get a pretty one...

It's holding. It's holding pretty good.

It's in the afternoon. You got plenty of time.

It's just an example in showin' these boys how it's done.

It's just like, you know, I'm the man, you're the woman.

It's just not in my nature to miss.

It's like him getting me in trouble over career day wasn't enough for him.

It's like the story of The Little Red Hen.

It's never dull being married to a Robertson. Never.

It's not always gonna run smoothly, and we're not always gonna agree...

It's not like I sent two creepy, strange men down to school.

It's pretty clever, and the bees won't even know what hit 'em.

It's still in the hive.

Jase and I are the most competitive guys ever.

Jase is like the thorn in my side that does not go away.

Jase, he has no stress. He brags about being stress free.

Jase, he tunes and designs all the calls.

Jase, you're gon' be on the ladder.

Jase.

Jep, you start 'em off, okay?

Jessica, watch out! Oh!

Just 'cause she looks a little homely, that's all right.

Just a big black ball comin' behind me, flyin'.

Just keep a little smoke goin' on there like that. There you are

Just take the whole hive.

Just when I thought we had lost Willie..

Kay, do the video now.

Kay, have you seen this room?

Kay, I need to help Phil at the land. I forgot my boots. Does he have an extra pair?

Kay, it's out of control.

Kay, there's so much crap in here, I can't find nothing!

Keep your eyes peeled.

Keep your eyes peeled.

Kinda like the Robertson men B.O. after duck hunting all day.

Korie and I are gonna be stuck up here all day

L I ain't gettin' up there, boys. I'm scared of heights.

L It crossed my mind.

L gotta go.

Let 'er rip, boys, let 'er rip!

Let me get this out of the way

Let me just say a point.

Let me put it that way.

Let me rephrase this. I'm gonna give you $10, and this deal's over.

Let me tell you a little bit about redneck logic.

Let's do this.

Let's get into some of these bushy tails.

Let's just go to the next thing.

Let's see, Fort Polk, Louisiana. Fort Knox, Kentucky.

Level enough.

Liberation.

Little tadpoles are having nightmares about me..

Lo and behold, look what's in his craw.

Look at this. I mean, you got running water.

Look here, a trapper.

Look here. Don't get in on the nap, boys.

Look here. This is losers weepers, finders keepers.

Look, you can't put a price on being out here in the water...

Look, you get honey in your beard, it literally stays there for two weeks.

Looking like that?

Looks like we got us a snake den here. They've all denned up here.

Looky here, looky here. Good times have come our way.

Lower it. Lower, lower, lower

Mama sent it packed in a care package...

Married a yuppie girl, living in the subdivision That's what happens to you.

Maybe it's just me

Maybe three.

Me and the little grandson pulled 'er off

Me either

Me, I'm the C.E.O. of the business.

Miss Kay gonna be happy.

Miss Kay, tell me that was not my chair heading up the road with them hippie girls.

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm mmm. No, we I subbed that out.

Money.

Mr. Country Club Material.

My dad never comes to the warehouse. I mean, never.

My dad never comes to the warehouse. I mean, never.

My dad never comes to the warehouse. I mean, never.

My dad, Phil, my Uncle Si..

My daughter in laws will be so happy to help me with this...

My family is only interested in hunting and being out there in the woods.

My family is only interested in hunting and being out there in the woods.

My hands are clean of this whole deal.

My idea of happiness is killing things.

My man.

My question is: How are you gonna get it in the trees?

My task is to teach them to live off the land

My tennis shoes didn't catch on fire.

My things are collections. I don't care what they say

My wife, Korie, she helps me run the entire business.

Nah, it's it's gone.

Next thing you know, we're back in here

Next time you have a commitment to our kids...

No doubt about it. That's what I'm talkin' about. Mm hmm.

No way. Wolves chasing him, burning his shoes up.

No, I'm telling you. I think that's what put it in your mind.

No, it ain't.

No, no. Hey.

No, not really.

No, that's not going in.

No! This is the loading dock.

No.

No. It was like a stinky horse on a fat man. That's what it was like.

No. No, we going duck hunting this evening

No. We're supposed to be making Triple Threats if we have three in the bin

Nobody can replace that.

Normally happy and then angry.

Normally, it's bowling pins.

Now how am I gonna get down?

Now there's a woman see what I'm saying?

Now, that was more Willie's department decorating.

Now, Willie, well, he was just having a bad bad week.

Oh, good Lord. Here we go.

Oh, I can get down.

Oh, I got the frogs, but good night of livin', boys.

Oh, it'll work. They're happy.

Oh, man!

Oh, my God! The skunk!

Oh, my goodness

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my gosh. Here we go.

Oh, my word!

Oh, no, Willie. I ain't gonna lose this cup.

Oh, no. Look. We gotta walk all the way over there.

Oh, ouch.

Oh, snake, Willie

Oh, that just hurts.

Oh, there's no doubt. New York's the way to go. Thin crust.

Oh, they're a delicacy.

Oh, we should push 'em down. Push the little thing.

Oh, yeah, it's ready to go.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you don't think I'm a redneck?

Oh, you'll see that the rest of your life

Oh!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh. Gah!

Oh. Why did Godwin and Martin not do that hours ago?

Oh. Y'all are so stupid.

Okay, look, John, can you come back to my office, please?

Okay, that's all I'm trying to say in this whole thing.

Okay? But when it comes to me, he's my nephew.

Okay. Does anybody know how many people died?

Okay. She does have a point.

On the other hand, you've got delicious wild honey.

Once you get that sound, you got it.

One of 'em is this cup.

One time I got stung by 27 “bomblebees.”

Ooh, a little bloody.

Ooh, it's good.

Or a sign saying “The end is near.”

Or shave that stuff off your face and buy you a three piece suit.

Or something to spice it up a little bit.

Our church puts on a harvest festival every year.

Over some bees.

Ow!

Pain can come up on you quickly from either one of 'em.

Parent teacher conferences are next week.

Pass me another frog.

People got shot up, and the medic was running around, fix 'em all up..

Perfect.

Phil has, like, 35 blinds down there...

Phil, this is in worse shape than the one we got rid of.

Phil, this is the nastiest thing.

Phil, we're not in the pioneer days.

Phil, you're a long ways from home

Phil's always, like, “Don't touch my stuff. Don't touch my stuff.”

Pick it up a little bit, and then move on out

Plain stupid.

Plug it in.

Plug the hole, just add water, add ducks, and we got it.

Potentially, thousands of bees.

Pretty scary, huh?

Prop this guy against a tree he had a shoulder wound

Put your slippers on?

Remember, there's that emergency Do it.

Right when you pulled it, his head come up, and then he was gone

Sautéed up in a little olive oil and a little butter...

See, the first prerequisite for marrying a woman, in my opinion:

See, the trick is, you gotta treat 'em exactly like you treat women.

See, Will, you're trying to re prioritize your brother there...

See, y'all think that fried chicken places will always be there.

Send me a check every month.

She don't even know why.

She just thinks I'm sweeter than most males.

She's gonna do a little “Welcome to Miss Kay's kitchen.”

Show these boys what they couldn't do.

Shut up.

Si has to do the reeds.

Si, we're not going to kill. We're going to get the honey.

Si, why are you saying “hey” every sentence?

Si, you ain't ever worked eight hours in the day.

Si!

Si's probably a C minus.

Si's with us.

Since playing golf, the frogs have never left my mind.

Slow days in duck hunting, that's just gonna happen.

Smooth, steady as she goes

Snakes fall outta trees, you go to running.

Sneak on the course and try to take a bunch of frogs.

So duck blinds are a big thing with me...

So here I am, gettin' dragged into another one.

So I come up with a plan to get a shop vac...

So that was Willie's job. [ Laughs ]

So there goes his wing.

So we need some decoys.

So we're gonna do it, and that's the way it's gonna go.”

So when they're running, I'm running with them.

So where all has that cup been?

So you just pour a little buttermilk on 'em.

So, after all of the rigamarole, age always wins out.

Some days just refuse to end, and this is one of those days.

Some of 'em may wake up at night, you know, with nightmares over it

Some of Si's stories you could label as “Si ence fiction

Somebody's gonna get killed funning around on this mess.

Somebody's gotta win. It might as well be me.

Sometimes I'm wondering if Jase is just trying to sabotage my life.

Sometimes it amazes me what people will spend good money on.

Sometimes they act before they think it through, as they say.

Sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and make a clean break from the past...

Sometimes you just got to slow down...

Sorry about this again.

Stop the bleeding

Suck it up.

Take a step back and get some perspective.

Than picking a duck and dressing him.

Thank you for blessing us tonight, especially with this good meal.

Thank you.

That a trailer gets up in the air ten feet.

That chair is a health hazard, so it's gotta go.

That chair is the most disgusting thing. I mean, it stinks.

That concludes my little session with you, kids.

That is really bad

That is some kind of inside out beehive.

That little redneck man inside of him burst forth

That need to be picked up and then fried up

That needed to happen.

That R.V. is just a piece of junk.

That R.V. out there It's ugly, and I want to get it out.

That sounds like a setup to me. A honeycomb out in the open?

That sounds like a trap, boys. I'm tellin' you.

That story was true, everything about that.

That turns me on

That wasn't something you can just sub out.

That you're trying to get us to actually do?

That, hey, somebody paid the price for their freedom.

That's about the stupidest thing I ever heard of.

That's for what we call high toppers...

That's my squirrel.

That's pretty amazing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Look at the bottom of it.

That's right.

That's the sound of a bullfrog losing his head, Cole man

That's what your brother's into.

That's what's wrong with the country. Too much concrete

That's when most of the little girls began to squeal.

That's why these boys all got good lookin' wives.

The Americans and the Vietnamese.

The battery went dead, and we're stuck up here.

The best thing to do is just to let it go, and let's start over.

The best thing to do is start repairing the damage

The bottom line is you gotta understand me to understand “hey.” Hey. Hey.

The bottom line is, the only good beaver is one with a bullet in his head.

The boy's a Robertson, through and through.

The C.E.O

The calls are made by my brother Jase, my Uncle Si and Godwin.

The catcher and the motor man, they have to have some skills.

The cavalry has arrived.

The city of West Monroe has ever known.

The duck's head has now been removed

The Dumpster's in the water!

The first time I went squirrel hunting, I was six years old.

The garage sale is officially on.

The good point is, hey, he had about 40 frogs in a sack

The hard heads and the fast movers, they leave empty handed.

The ice chest man can be any human being.

The idea is to [ Chuckles ]

The ideal meal would be a flaming hot doughnut...

The life of a C.E.O., Jase.

The ol' Bill Clinton line, “I feel your pain"?

The ol' Bill Clinton line, “I feel your pain"?

The only difference is he's 50 pounds heavier.

The only ones we got up here are on the roof.

The other is a gallon jug of tea.

The plan is bulletproof. Cut the limb. It falls in the bag.

The problem with these beavers, Si, they've killed millions of acres of timber.

The reason I chose Cole man to go...

The scary part is I think Si believes 'em.

The stupid bootleg pond out there in the loading dock.

The word “hey" is like a fabric woven into Si's character.

Then he looks up, before you know it, he's digging into his wallet.

Then the south end of a northbound donkey.

There was a war in Vietnam that we was involved in..

There's a Bengal tiger, grabbed this guy he just bandaged, dragging him off.

There's a five letter word that makes people start doin' all kind of crazy things.

There's a frog. I mean a big'n.

There's a lot of frogs swimming around your ball, Willie.

There's a lot of things they can learn...

There's a rule. When security comes, it's every man for himself

There's an art to storytelling.

There's food, carnival games, pie eating contests...

There's like three in the bin back there.

There's no telling how much food, Phil's beard hair, insects

There's not a duck within 30 miles of this building.

There's one right there.

There's some fine stuff that grows out here in this swamp...

There's the target, boys. [ Imitating Plane Flying ]

There's three things I travel with.

There's very few things that turn me on in life.

There's very few things that turn me on in life.

These are fat bullfrogs..

These bees don't stand a chance. I'm a mean, lean, bee suckin' machine.

These clowns, hey, they don't know what they're doing.

These frogs have no idea.

These things are looking good.

They can just come in and say, “Well, let's get rid of it.”

They did get hot.

They gone.

They got a dress code up there, son.

They gotta kill the tiger, and there ain't nothing but blood spraying everywhere

They have a testing range, okay?

They lit my rear end up, Jack!

They need to know that

They pretty well got their tail tore off.

They said it's a mental disorder. So I may have that.

They start makin' all kind of racket.

They talked about Vietnam and cut off ducks' heads

They were expecting their daddy.

They're green.

They're odd, they push our buttons

They're the source of our biggest frustrations...

Think about it, boys. It will be the mother of all duck blinds.

Think I would like you flooding the loading dock?

This a 'Nam operation, boys. Move out.

This is embarrassing, that you're with the women.

This is food.

This is just right there ripe for the taking.

This is not a rocket science project.

This is serious business, and we're going to kill every one of you.

This is Si Robertson, and we're so excited to have him here

This is stupid.

This is the worst idea in the history of Duck Commander.

This is when it's gonna be on the market.

This multimillion dollar operation together.

This whole thing is stupid.

This will be our new home, boys.

Those bee stings went to your brain.

Three hundred degrees for about 35 minutes, ladies

Time to swallow our pride. Let's get this over with.

Times are hard for the duck pen.

To a new breed of millionaire my family.

To bring this much joy and happiness to some pet store ducks?

To make sure the job gets done.

To start a fresh beginning.

To the ways of frog catching and frog eating.

Tonight?

Too many board meetings.

Too many days in the subdivision.

Twenty dollars? These guns are about 100 years old.

Uh oh

Uh oh.

Uh oh. Oh, man, are they on there.

Uh oh. Uh oh

Unbelievable.

Unfortunately, that's just the nature of the beast.

Wait

Watch the extension. There you go.

Watch this. Huh?

We can always hire an entire redneck army...

We didn't get a chance to see. We were at the finish line...

We do thank you for these good fish you blessed us with. Amen.

We don't need a world full of straight A students.

We done what we was told. Hey, don't blame us.

We fixin' to tear their tail off on this one.

We found something of interest on your property.

We got a man down!

We got heat. What about that?

We got in an argument on how often they updated satellite imagery.

We got it. Have a little faith.

We got one last resort, and that's Phil Robertson.

We got one last resort, and that's Phil Robertson.

We got that ladder back there. Might as well get 'em down before they panic.

We got three. Why aren't you making Triple Threats?

We had a garage sale. We got rid of the junk

We have a real business. We ship real orders.

We have it all under control?

We have mental illness in my family and Phil's.

We have the carnival game where you knock things down.

We hunt frogs and eat 'em.

We like to hold on to old things in order Io hold on to old memories...

We need to build a testing and research facility for these duck calls...

We need, like, a number. We need, like, this day we'll have 'em here.

We pretty well pull out all stops

We taught 'em about food.

We taught 'em about life. We taught 'em about death.

We tend to get comfortable, stuck in our ways, and fear change.

We thank you especially for these frogs

We thought you'd like it.

We was trying to enlighten these city slickers

We were too busy working.

We will stay up here all night to get the order finished.

We would go down to Harrison's pond..

We'll bring back some honey.

We'll get out and try to push it.

We'll have you go down this hall.

We'll see how he does. He won't be laughin' after he messes with them bees

We're alive on planet Earth one more day...

We're going to take that thing, stick it about 20 foot up in there on a platform...

We're gonna do just like we did when I was in Vietnam.

We're gonna give you a little taste of your own medicine, Jack.

We're gonna go in fast, quiet, kill everything in sight.

We're in modern times.

We're not just talking here. We've been at this for three hours..

We're trying to get ready for the church festival.

We're, like, in the cave, but not really.

We've got a hundred thousand dollar order to do tomorrow...

We've got to replace that duck blind.

Welcome, everyone, to

Welcome, everyone, to Kay's Commander kitchen.

Welcome, everyone, to Kay's Commander kitchen.

Well, go through the tree.

Well, he's too busy all the time. I live by a code:

Well, hey, that's number four.

Well, hey, you know.

Well, I ain't never seen such a ruckus over one little frog hump.

Well, I can sell you that squirrel.

Well, I don't know what you're laughing at.

Well, I gave five dollars for it.

Well, I thought we was making Duck Pickers.

Well, I would say, “You did well, my boy. Send me a check every month.”

Well, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna give you 10, and I'm taking it back.

Well, maybe not so lean.

Well, no! We gotta step off! Jessica!

Well, thank y'all.

Well, that was worth seeing, I'll have to admit that

Well, that's not the way I saw it, but I see your point.

Well, there's two types of people in this world.

Well, this is a nice facility.

Well, unbeknown to him, there's a baby wolverine watching this.

Well, we're actually building a research pond for ducks in the loading dock.

Well, what people need to realize about the south.

Well, you better not be too tired.

What What What are you doin'?

What a weenie.

What about $100 a hole?

What about a weapon?

What about it, princess? No?

What about, “Welcome, students”?

What are these stupid things for?

What are they doin' on the roof?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

What are you doing with my squirrel?

What are you doing?

What are you looking at on these guns right here?

What are you talking about, looking like that?

What can I say? It was awesome.

What decoys?

What do I think?

What does “hey” mean? I'm just wondering.

What does it look like we're doin'?

What he can't tear up, he craps on.

What I'm sayin' is if you cut one limb

What I've learned about gettin' honey is, hey, you let somebody else get it.

What if there are no McDonald's?

What in the world's all this?

What is a fly swatter

What kind of snake is that?

What kind of thinking is that?

What we need to do is go to the loading dock where it's low

What you have is frog legs here. You marinate 'em for about an hour.

What you ought to do is get you a crew.

What you think?

What, exactly, is the problem? Why is it taking so long?

What?

What's wrong with y'all?

When he comes in the door, you know something's up.

When he comes in the door, you know something's up.

When he's thinking, “I need to kill something. I need to catch something.”

When I saw those ducks come out of that cage and into the pond...

When I see bright lights coming at a distance...

When I told him I was gonna have a yard sale and get rid of all that junk

When some of his stuff is out in the yard being pawned off to the local rednecks.

When the family just wants to run wild

When the family just wants to run wild.

When the family just wants to run wild.

When the grub runs out, things get tough around the house.

When they get locked in on something, they ain't gettin' off of it.

When they're laughing, they ain't a bunch of sourpusses.

When you gonna take me to that fine country club you at?

When you gut a duck, there is bloodshed.

When you have eaten as many frogs as I have...

When you hear “C.E.O.,” you think Chief Executive Officer.

When you run up on a frog haven of this magnitude...

When you say you're gonna do your child's career day..

When you're on, you're on. And today, I'm on

When you're tryin' to obtain something as good as wild honey...

When, usually, they keep us from making new ones.

Whenever you quit researching, you quit developing.

Where are the trucks gonna unload?

Where they actually take the product out and fire it.

Where we was at in high school

Where you been all day?

Where's everybody at?

Where's my hundred dollars?

Whether you're talkin' about bees, dogs or women...

Which one of them pizzas you like better? New York or Chicago?

Which Phil loves to tell everybody in the whole world that.

Who do you think you are?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. How much buttermilk are you putting in there?

Whoa.

Whoa.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo! If I only I had some ducks to test that out on.

Whoo! Whoo!

Why aren't we making duck calls?

Why do you have clothes laying here?

Why do you need me for the cooking DVD?

Why don't you let Si and Phil do it?

Why don't you put it back up there on your hook?

Why don't you put your listening ears on and give him a hand

Willie He's the one that concocted that scheme.

Willie didn't go to career day.

Willie doesn't like manual labor.

Willie embarrassed me last time when he bought that horsehair coat.

Willie has always been a destructive young man.

Willie Robertson sent us for your career day

Willie the C.E.O. is not gonna go all out to make sure...

Willie wants us up in the warehouse.

Willie, he took the whole thing way further than I ever would.

Willie, the guys are out there, and they're flooding the loading dock.

Willie, the point is this

Willie, we've been out killing beavers, me and your uncle.

Willie, what are you doing out there?

Willie's money is sweeter than any other money I know of.

With a little seasonin' on 'em.

With a little smoke.”

With a Tupperware glass in it in '68, when I was in Vietnam.

With all these grandsons of mine..

With that Tupperware glass full of iced tea in his hand.”

With this cooking DVD, and we're nowhere near finished.

With wild honey all over it.

Women are like Labrador Retrievers. You know, they all have quirks...

Women are like Labrador Retrievers. You know, they all have quirks...

Women, same way [Whining ]

Wonderful.

Y'all get over and you get it painted by the time we get this thing knocked out.

Y'all get the decoys. Jase, let's get the booth.

Y'all went over there, got your tail tore up and came back empty handed

Y'all were supposed to talk about a career

Y'all, that was the dumbest “ideal” I've ever heard!

Yahoos, city folk.

Yeah, don't take forever. “Remember when we did that?”

Yeah, for the cooking video tomorrow.

Yeah, hey. I'm good

Yeah, I got him. Man, I done hit my head though.

Yeah, I'm in a bind over it

Yeah, well, that code is messing up the operations at the office.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's honey. Yup.

Yeah, you're loadin' the rest of these. They're heavy.

Yee haw! Whoo!

Yep, I actually think it'll work, Jase.

Yes.

Yes. Are y'all ready? That's the question.

You act like the Robertson men can just do anything

You ain't a redneck unless you off the road.

You ain't know where everybody's at?

You and Jimmy Red are gonna go out there and get us some squirrels.

You can survive and eat pretty good.

You can't buy that in the store. That's the best honey you'll ever eat.

You can't remember what happened last year.

You coming up here getting these frogs is stupid and dumb

You could drop him off and, hey, he'll find his way out of there

You dead. Oh.

You do not consider the dangers.

You don't realize how long I've worked on that.

You don't remember all the times..

You find frogs by shining your light...

You get around your brothers, and y'all just start goofing off.

You gonna be there for 50 years, and you don't even know whether she can cook or not?

You got a man catching 'em that's my area of expertise.

You got a motor man and an ice chest man.

You gotta go out there tonight and get some frogs.

You gotta handle 'em real, real easy, Cole man, both of 'em

You gotta have a good punch line...

You have to blow just a little bit of smoke, don't you, Cole?

You just kissed his butt.

You just pull up and say, “Hey, get me a McDonald's.”

You keep talking to like ladies, and men are cooking too, so it's not..

You know the man that brings me the eggs?

You know these things. We don't know that.

You know what I can't get off of? That honey that's just hangin' there.

You know what you do in a case like this?

You know what? Let me give you a job.

You know what's around here? Concrete.

You know, a golf course at night.

You know, comes easy if you weren't down there building the doggone thing.

You know, I don't know what all he's doing up here...

You know, one to 10, hey, it's a big, fat goose egg.

You know, that's like when the army makes weapons...

You know, the woes of running a business. Work kind of piled up on him.

You know, you gotta do something to make the time pass.

You like it? Good.

You look like they let Charles Manson out, and he went hunting.

You made a commitment to your kids.

You never wanna make the cook mad.

You see, this experience has taught me a pretty simple lesson.

You should be laughing about this.

You should be there

You shouldn't just pawn it off to somebody else

You start seein' bees [ Whistles ]

You think I lost my redneck?

You took care by sending your dad and uncle

You walk.

You wanna build duck calls?

You wanna go find out, little brother?

You wash your dishes in bleach?

You would be looking for a can to put a dollar in..

You, on the other hand You're educated, okay?

You'll just have to get over it, won't you?

You're fixin' to get stung.

You're gonna have to find something to get us down.

You're in a bad position, Willie. You better recognize.

You're not a little bit curious on whether it would work or not.

You're the idiot that thought bees don't sting at night.

You're the idiot who couldn't get up there on the scissor lift.

You've already sold some of these cooking videos...

You've lost your edge is what's happened.

Your grandma gonna love you to death, man.

Yup.

Yup.

Yup. He fell right over there by that piece of Styrofoam. I guess that's what that is.

Yuppie girls wouldn't like it. Don't marry some yuppie girl

Zach, get up there. Put a screw in it.

30 minutes, in and out.

“Bomblebees?” “Bomblebees.”

“Unducated?” Look here. Hey.

[ Beeping ] Hey, is anybody back there?

[ Beeping ] Si! What are you doin'?

[ Bell Ringing ] [ Boy] I'll see you in just a little while.

[ Boy] Oh. ' [ Gm I 0h, gosh.

[ Buzzing ] [Si ] That thing got any bees on it?

[ Buzzing ] Oh, crap!

[ Buzzing ] ' [ Kay] Hey, guys.

[ Cell Phone Rings] Hello.

[ Children ] Thank you, Mr. Si. [ Si ] You're welcome

[ Chittering ] [spraying ]

[ Chortling ] You get him?

[ Chuckles ] [ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ] And then the bombers go

[ Chuckles ] That's right.

[ Coughing, Retching ] Take that shirt off.

[ Gasps] It's okay. Look. I know what I'm doin'.

[ Gasps] Now you done spilled the durn jelly beans.

[ Godwin Screams ] [ Martin ] Good grief!

[ Groans ] [ People Screaming ]

[ Groans ] [ Phil ] All right. What's the story?

[ Groans ] Ex Ex Ex

[ Gunshot] Got another one, Red.

[ Horn Honking ] [ imitates Gears Grinding ]

[ Imitates Gunfire] [Shotgun Blast]

[ Kay ] What would you like? [ Man ] Good shot.

[ Korie] Now I'm gettin' hungry. [Siren Wails]

[ Laughs I [ Laughs I

[ Laughs] That's a good thing.

[ Loud Bang ] Get him?

[ Martin ] Oh, wow

[ Martin ] Oh, wow. [ Retching ]

[ Miss Kay] Let's eat. [ Phil] Dig in.

[ Phil ] That's Si fi all the way. That's true.

[ Phone Ringing ] Yeah.

[ Plastic Jar Clattering ] [ Laughing ]

[ Quacking ] How we gonna move the garbage?

[ Raspberry] [ Laughing 1

[ Sawing 1 [ Buzzing 1

[ Si ] What have y'all been up to? Bee hivin'.

[ Squelching ] to cook and carry a Bible anymore.

[ Whirring Stops] What?

[Gunfire Continues] Goll

[Jase ] Job done. Jase! We need 'em intact!

[Jase ] We got a story. [Willie ] Well

[Jase ] Yeah. [ Chuckling ]

[Jase ] You gonna fire it up? [Willie ] Crank it up.

[Jase Laughing ] Okay, you're both idiots.

[Jase] Hey, they're movin'. [Willie ] Okay.

[Jessica ] See, there it is. [ Korie ] Oh, my goodness.

[Jessica ] You're gonna break something. That's garbage.

[Si ] All right. [Jase ] We gon' get the honey.

[Si ] Not bad, boys. [ Jase ] See where he fell, Si?

[Si ] Turn around, turn around! [Guard ] What y'all doing down here?

[Si ] Well. [ Miss Kay] Well.

[Willie ] We'll get the booth. [Jase ] Don't drop it

[Willie] Hey [Si Laughs I

[Women Screaming ] [ Korie ] Run!

$100 right here. No.

$100, goin' once. No.

All aboard, boys. I'm gettin' off cheap.

All right, I think that's good. Here's the deal, Phil.

All right, let's go. Give it some gas, Willie.

All right. I can do this.

All right. I got you

All right. Take us down. Take us down. I'm tryin'.

Amen. [All ] Amen.

and catch all the fish and the frogs? We were 12!

And look at you. I'm in pain!

And they live in holes in the ground. Yep.

And you're still an idiot! [ Laughs ]

Any amount. They just all need to look wet.

Apologize. All you have to do is say, “I'm sorry

Are you seriously asking me that question? [Willie] I'm all about the cooking DVD...

Aw, J.J. J.J., you gotta go.

Battery's dead. You've gotta be kiddin'.

Be good, yeah. All right, officer. Appreciate it

because you are cooking

before y'all knock this little baby out. No. We're gonna get it.

Birdie putt. You know, I had to check the wind.

Boy, that was fun. [ Korie ] We still didn't get the decoys.

Brad just called. Yeah?

But she does need to hear it, though. What is this?

Climb down on that roof. [ Korie ] Be serious.

Come and get it. [Willie ] And my mom, Miss Kay

Come on 'm here. Whom!

Corning in hot. I see him.

Did y'all get the hive in the bag? Heck no!

Did ya get him? I missed him.

Did ya get him? No.

Did you see them suckers come outta there? They got me twice

Do you wash it in the dishwasher? No. I bleach it.

Does that sound like a good price? Yeah, that's a good idea.

Don't forget the frogs. I got the frogs.

Every man for himself, Will! Hey!

Five years ago? Yeah. I said I wanted ducks at the office.

Full of honey. So where's the honey?

Godwin, you didn't know about that switch? I didn't know about it

Ha

He's all right. Whoa!

He's learnin'. You didn't get stung any?

Hello? [ Woman, indistinct]

Hello? Did you try the emergency switch?

Here we go. Jessie, are you seriously gonna do it?

Here, let me try. [ Martin ] Got 'em.

Hey, blame this on your mama

Hey, did you hear something? Let me see that frog.

Hey, hey. Hi, hi, hi.

Hey, it's $100. Money talks, hon. Money talks.

Hey, Linda. What you boys doing up in here?

Hey, look. How much of that was nap time?

Hey, Mountain Man. Hey

Hey, no harm, no foul. We didn't do crap.

Hey, Phil and Si. Yeah?

Hey, that roofs hot. [ Korie] Martin, what is your plan?

Hey, Uncle Si. [ Si ] Hey.

Hey, Uncle Si. Yeah?

Hey, y'all. Whoa. Willie, Willie, Willie.

Hey! Hey.

Hey.

Hey. [ Martin ] Hey, boss lady.

Hey. Hey.

Hi. Phil Robertson

Hi. What's up?

Hmm. Hey

How many's that make us, Will? We got a passel load of 'em.

How much did y'all make? Almost $600.

I been making 'em all day. We don't have any.

I didn't know it was your squirrel. Yeah, that's my squirrel.

I don't know if I can stand up and paint. You can do this.

I got career day out at the school. Really.

I just thought it needed to get done. That's ridiculous

I look up to get on the ride Leave him! Leave him!

I love it. I need some new furniture.

I mean, lighten up. Lighten up?

I need this for the church festival. That's your problem

I really cannot believe it. I sent replacements.

I think it's on my skin. Uh oh. Here we go.

I thought that was over

I'd like some pecan pie. A pecan pie.

I'll get the honey. Don't worry about it. Ha!

I'll take it. All right, we're off.

I'm getting too old for that. I mean, I'm glad you had the frogs

I'm hit! Golly!

I'm not apologizing for you being stupid. Well, how you gonna get down?

I'm not sure this is a good idea. [ Chuckles ]

I'm not talking about those duck calls. Get back there and do it.

I've got tender toes, apparently. [ Chuckling ]

I've told y'all. Well, look, you're yelling at me.

Is that gonna hold us? Let's just see how far we can go up.

Is there amount? Any amount.

It does his hear': good. Good point, sir.

It makes me nervous. Happy, happy. happy

It was not. Like five years ago I told you this idea.

It's a little cluttered. [ Miss Kay Shouts]

It's a long story. [ Korie Chuckles ] Yeah.

It's a skunk! I think he got me!

It's gonna get ugly around here. Oh, we'll take care of it.

It's not workin'. No.

Jase, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? What are you two idiots talkin' about?

Jep, what are you doing next week? Willie.

Jessica, this is crazy. Where are they?

Just get the decoy. Admit you're stupid

Know what I mean? Wild honey.

Let me show ya how hard it is to get these. All right. Go get 'em.

Let's make it 50 a hole, just for the wind. No

Like sewing. Making a pie crust is a lot like cooking..

Look at you

Love it. we have to make the cooking DVD tomorrow.

Man, I'm gone! [Si ] Grab hold there! I'm leavin'!

Men. Might oughta

My eyes are burning. [ Coughs ] Your eyes?

My house isn't this nice. It's a wooded getaway.

My idea of happiness is killing things. [ Shotgun Blast]

No wonder we don't have any duck calls. [ Telephone ] Extension one oh

No, it was not. No, I did. Seriously.

No, you can't leave. We're in the middle of it. Hey, they're flooding the loading dock.

No. Oh. Willie

No. No, it's not

Nope

Not again! [ Yells ]

Now we're cookin' with peanut oil. There you go.

Now we're cooking with peanut oil! [Si ] Hey.

Oh, boy. [Willie] How many is on there?

Oh, crap. Boom! Thank you.

Oh, crap. Hey! It's a little right

Oh, I'll set them right in front of you, honey. Oh, that's good.

Oh, it's a load of 'em There he goes.

Oh, it's on. Abracadabra! Hallelujah!

Oh, man, I You got my ladder?

Oh, man. [ Retching ]

Oh, my goodness. All right. What?

Oh, my goodness. Deputy Tolbern. What's goin' on here?

Oh, my gosh. for the mother of all duck blinds.

Oh, no. Cole man, show him what you got.

Oh, no. In the classroom? People don't usually do that in the class.

Oh, that's real funny. Real funny.

Oh, that's terrible. [Godwin ] I can't breathe!

Oh! Oh, my goodness! We're going down! Yay!

Okay, you need to say that. Say it on the Say it.

One of 'em has got a legitimate excuse. Yeah.

POP POP POP POP. [Willie] It gets hostile.

Pretend like you're teaching If y'all will be quiet for just five seconds...

Push! You ain't going nowhere.

Ready to go. No mistakes? No mistakes.

Real funny. Whoo.

Red? What do you think? Go ahead, Red.

Right. [ Calling ]

See if that'll fit on the end. What do you think?

See what works? Y'all are ridiculous

See you in the woods. But we've got work to do.

See? Did you get stung? Nope.

Serves y'all right for laughin' at us. That's right.

Si Wait a minute.

Si! Hey, the stupid thing's runnin' by itself.

So, Will, what have you been doing? I'm trying to keep...

Somebody needs to make money. Willie went off and got educated.

Thank you for the decoys. Yeah.

Thank you! We really appreciate it.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Thanks. Thank you

that changed the duck hunting industry [ Shotgun Blasts]

That is unlike you to move stuff out. Well, it's a new day, darlin'.

That's an assortment, Si. Why is it I only taste popcorn?

That's gon' be funny right there. Yeah.

That's one of them doggone Looks like a daggone water moccasin.

That's the nastiest feet I've ever seen. Yeah.

The viewer does not know that. I just showed you. Pour buttermilk on 'em.

There they are. They're here?

There's a big ol' honeybee hive Full of honey.

There's a few dog toys. [ Miss Kay] It's got duck feathers on it.

There's a panda. Stop throwing

These boys couldn't pull it off. [Jase ] How did y'all do it?

These things are horrible. Well, why do you keep eatin' em?

They blew that sucker to Well, speaking of getting rid of things

They just won't grow up. Let's go.

They only move at night And they live in holes in the ground.

They turned duck calls. .. [ Duck Call ]

They turned duck calls. .. [ Duck Call ]

They turned duck calls. .. [ Duck Call ]

They're evil. Case closed.

They're gettin' mad. [ Buzzing ]

They're like the Viet Cong. Oh, what are you telling me?

They're starting to make a little racket now. Are they? I don't know about this.

this has never been more apparent. Wow!

This is my trademark. That's some kind of collector's item.

This is nice, man. Oh, yeah, real nice, Phil.

This is pretty cool. It is.

This was a good idea, Korie. Yeah, this is really nice

Triple Threats. Just send them Triple Threats.

Two grown men made a bet. Well, they're gone.

Unbelievable. This whole company's falling apart

Watch out. Oh, God.

We all go in, and then all of a sudden [ Martin ] Boom bow boom.

We can cook. Microwave. That works?

We can do that. Thank you.

We could sell these things. That ain't a bad idea, actually.

We got out of that? Yeah.

We loosened 'em all up for y'all. They stung us, and they all died.

We sent them a thousand Duck Pickers. What'd they order?

We should get Phil up here. Those feet. You'd have to pay extra.

We're hurting in research and development. Yeah.

Welcome, students. [ Laughing ]

Well, all we need is some duck calls. That's it.

Well, are you a girlie man? You're a man.

Well, never send boys to do a man's job. Here we go

Well, that didn't take long. All right, you got about three words out

Well, we just have to get it done. Done?

Well, what's my excuse? Hey, you're just an idiot, totally.

What am I supposed to put 'em in? Kay, this is garbage.

What are they guarding? Golf balls? Phil was with us.

What did you do, Si? I told them about Vietnam

What in the world? Oh, my gosh.

What was that? [ Chuckles ]

What was that? I don't know.

What? There he is. Look at him.

What? You look like a hoarder.

What's goin' on? Just work.

Whatever. Okay

Where has Si been the last day? Hey. I didn't know what this was about.

Where have y'all been? Huh?

Where is he? Don't worry about Phil.

Where you going? It ain't gonna come out, you redneck idiot.

Where's the scissor lift? It's out there in the warehouse.

Who was that? Some kind of That was a security guard

Who's idea was this anyway? I guess it was mine.

Whoo! that he'll forget all about what he's losing.

Why are you still sitting there? Well

Why do we have to do it tomorrow? We've already sold the DVD's.

Will, you in on the frog hunt? Yep. I'm in.

Willie. He gone.

Willie's worried about his reputation. [ Phil ] His redneck blood is thinning

With that? Yeah. I was gonna take care of business.

Wolverine stories. I saw that on television, so I don't know.

Would you take five for him? I'll take five.

Y'all can't be down here. [Jase ] Oh, no.

Y'all get that. Don't drop it.

Y'all have a good day. Thank you, Officer. You the man.

Y'all shucked your responsibility. I didn't know I was supposed to do it.

Yeah, I can do it! There you go.

Yeah, I got him. Oh, yeah!

Yeah, it is. It's fantastic. It's a very nice facility.

Yeah, right. Drop it.

Yeah, thanks for telling me now. Thanks, Martin. Thanks.

Yeah, you did. Hey, I was fixin' to get that sucker.

Yeah, you got him, Jase. Easy, son.

Yeah, you're slipping

Yeah? How you doing, sir?

Yeah. Not while this is going on.

You better hurry up! [ Martin ] Godwin! The skunk!

You can drive it? Can you do it?

You fry that thing up, huh? You eat the whole thing

You guys woke me up. That's embarrassing.

You know what I'm saying? Mm hmm.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

You know what to do with the frog legs. You're correct

You mind helpin' me out there, Deputy? [ Jessica ] Thank you!

You need to get up here. I'll be there in 30 minutes

You ready? Okay, I'm trusting you.

You still mad? I just can't believe you did that

You think he'd actually do it? Yeah, he just wouldn't tell anybody.

You told fourth graders about Vietnam? About the war, yeah

You wanna plate, Willie? Yeah. Sure.

You would? You can have it for five

You're just dumping buttermilk. No amount.

You're on the cover. Take me off the cover.

You've been cooking for 50 years. You're correct.

You've been eating 'em for 48 hours! I can't get off of 'em.

[ Si ] Look out! Aah!

just gonna be ladies watching the DVD. Yeah, girlie men. We'll have girlie men.

' I Man ] Hey. [Jase ] Hey.

'cause I go in and I take 'em out

'Cause they always go, “Ew, gross! That's horrible.”

'cause they want to get rid of the junk.

" [ Laughing ] ' [ Si ] Okay?

“Bring me some ducks.”

“Hey” can mean no. “Hey" can mean next week.

“Hey” can mean yes. “Hey" can mean maybe.

“Making a pie crust is a lot like cooking”?

“Making a pie crust is a lot like cooking”?

“Well, we'll just live off love.” Not really. You’ll starve to death.

“What would happen if you threw a possum on a man?”

“What would happen if you threw a possum on a man?”

“Willie, ya gotta help me.” I'm gonna do it.

[ Announcer] Meet the Robertson clan.

[ Announcer] Meet the Robertson clan.

[ Announcer] Meet the Robertson clan.

[ Bees Buzzing ]

[ Buzzing 1

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Chuckles ] I stayed up all night doing frogs.

[ Chuckling ]

[ Croaking ]

[ Croaking ]

[ Croaks ]

[ Crunching 1

[ Duck Call ]

[ Duck Call 1

[ Duck Call 1

[ Duck Call 1

[ Duck Call 1

[ Duck Call Quacking ]

[ Duck Calls]

[ Ducks Quacking ]

[ Ducks Quacking ]

[ Ducks Quacking ]

[ Ducks Quacking ]

[ Engine Revving ]

[ Frogs Croaking ]

[ Generator Whirring ]

[ Godwin ] Boy, you're good.

[ Godwin ] Hey, these things look good.

[ Godwin ] Nope

[ Godwin ] That is gonna be some fine eating.

[ Groaning ]

[ Groans ] Holy crap.

[ Guard ] Y'all really eat those things?

[ Gunfire]

[ Gunshot]

[ Gunshot]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Gunshots ]

[ Imitating Machine Gun Fire]

[ Jase ] Frog catching is the most fun...

[ Jase ] He was acting like his life was in jeopardy.

[ Jase ] Is it working?

[ Jase ] It's not a bad idea.

[ Jase ] Oh, don't you look pretty.

[ Jase ] So much for the duck calls.

[ Jase ] So much for the duck calls.

[ Jase ] Well, we got out of that

[ Jep 1 Here he is.

[ Jessica ] Help us out.

[ Kissing ]

[ Korie ] All right. We're gonna let y'all get the booth this time.

[ Korie ] Jessica and I are runnin' the games this year

[ Korie ] Let's do it

[ Korie ] They got the honey.

[ Korie ] Throw the decoys down.

[ Korie ] Where are the guys?

[ Korie ] Willie, don't forget.

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I

[ Laughing I Hey.

[ Laughter]

[ Laughter]

[ Laughter]

[ Martin ] Godwin smells worse...

[ Martin ] I bet you are

[ Miss Kay] Even when you have a garage sale, it's like any other thing I have at my house

[ Miss Kay] Hey, are we ready?

[ Miss Kay] I know Willie's got problems at the warehouse...

[ Miss Kay] I've been married to Phil since I was 16.

[ Miss Kay] If he broke that typewriter, he's gonna pay for that.

[ Miss Kay] Oh, speak of the devil. There he is

[ Miss Kay] Phil didn't believe me...

[ Miss Kay] Phil, get the tea. I need that right here.

[ Miss Kay] Somebody actually bought that chair.

[ Phil ] Father, we thank you for another day.

[ Phil ] Frogs are a definite delicacy...

[ Phil ] I can't see nothing

[ Phil ] I knew we should have gone duck hunting.

[ Phil ] I would say career day was a roaring success

[ Phil ] Now watch. See right here?

[ Phil ] Oh, I'm gonna teach the kids...

[ Phil ] Older heads prevail.

[ Phil ] Over here?

[ Phil ] Since they didn't think it necessary to ask for advice from ol' Dad...

[ Phil ] That looked like my chair

[ Phil ] These are the guys you need to talk to about that.

[ Phil ] Whoa, hey

[ Phil ] Willie boy and Jase, since they weren't in on the building..

[ Phil] Willie boy and Jase...

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Quacking ]

[ Quacking ]

[ Sawing 1

[ Scoffs ] Oh, it's pitiful.

[ Si ] Hey, boys, hey. There's Phil right up yonder.

[ Si ] Hey, right there. There's two. Kill 'em right there.

[ Si ] I don't know about all this crap, boys

[ Si ] Let me find a broom.

[ Si ] Let's go to work, boys.

[ Si 1 Hey! Hey! Hey!

[ Si 1 Look at the legs on that thing.

[ Si 1 Mission aborted.

[ Siren Wailing ]

[ Squelching ]

[ Teacher] I think that'll be just fine. Thank Thank you.

[ Willie ] All right, Martin, you get the ladder

[ Willie ] Every action in life begins with a decision..

[ Willie ] Forty years ago, my father, Phil Robertson...

[ Willie ] Hey, they don't sting at night.

[ Willie ] I know that's my squirrel.

[ Willie ] Nobody drives us crazy like our own family.

[ Willie ] Patience has never really been one of my strengths.

[ Willie] People are nature's number one creature of habit

[ Yawns ]

[All ] Amen

[All ] Amen

[All ] Amen.

[Calling]

[Coughing I

[Jase ] Every food is better when you get it, you process it, and you eat it

[Jase ] I don't panic when I'm detained.

[Jase ] I hit the golf ball in here, and when I looked around...

[Jase ] I mean, doesn't it do your heart good...

[Jase ] I'm looking at him and all I see is the same beard, the same hair

[Jase ] Opelousas catfish only run two weeks out of the year.

[Jase ] Thinking about what I'm gonna do with that $100 a hole.

[Jase ] This is the hole I'm telling you about.

[Jase ] Thought this would be easy money. Looking good for old Jase.

[Jase ] What has happened to my brother?

[Jase ] You drive down the highway, and you look out in the field...

[Jase] I been practicing in my mind.

[Jase] It never occurred to me that someone would actually be monitoring...

[Jase] Let's catch one more. One more.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Man]

[Phil Laughing]

[Si ] They slicked me the first couple hours...

[Si ] Well, thank you. That was a total disaster.

[Si ] Will is going through an identity crisis.

[Si 1 I feel sorry for Willie, in a way.

[Si 1 Y'all done stirred these suckers up.

[Si] Phil can navigate through any woods

[Whirring ]

[Whooping 1

[Willie ] 'Cause no matter how dumb an idea is...

[Willie ] All right. Let's load this stuff up.

[Willie ] Are these curtains gonna blow off?

[Willie ] As C.E.O., I've turned my dad's one man operation...

[Willie ] Bees are swarmin' everywhere.

[Willie ] Hey, one just flew off.

[Willie ] How we gonna get them bees off that hive?

[Willie ] I'd like to get the honey.

[Willie ] It's hard for me to take Korie seriously when she's mad..

[Willie ] It's not that I was scared of that snake.

[Willie ] Korie's been griping me out for two hours

[Willie ] Korie's got two looks.

[Willie ] Korie's like all the Robertson women.

[Willie ] ls the sky blue?

[Willie ] My brother Jase designs the duck calls

[Willie ] Phil, there's only one way to deal with this blind.

[Willie ] That thing's impenetrable.

[Willie ] We still manage to stay true to ourselves.

[Willie ] We went home. We regrouped. And I think we have a solid plan

[Willie ] Willie the C.E.O. loves to work...

[Willie] Jase invented a duck call called the “Triple Threat.”

[Willie] on $100!

[Willie] The backwoods of Louisiana is now home...

[Willie] These guys are like a bunch of immature children

[Willie] Uncle Si heads up operations.

[Willie] You sure you ain't been practicing?

♪ >' The blood in you boilin' and sweatin" ♪

♪ >' You'll be walkin' around' ♪

♪ >J' The blood in you boilin' and sweatin" ♪

♪ >J' The blood in you boilin' and sweatin" ♪

♪ >J' You'll be walkin' around' ♪

♪ >J' You'll be walkin' around' ♪

♪ >J' You'll be workin' and slavin' your whole life away JV'

♪ >J' You'll be workin' and slavin' your whole life away JV'

♪ All of your life ♪

♪ All of your life ♪

♪ All of your life ♪

♪ All of your life ♪

♪ Honey, honey, honey ♪

$100 a hole? I don't know if I can pass that up.

♪ >J' The blood in you boilin' and sweatin" ♪

♪ >J' You'll be walkin' around' ♪

♪ >J' You'll be workin' and slavin' your whole life away JV'

♪ >J' You'll be working and slaving your whole life away JV“

“Lookee here, lookee here! Good times have come our way