Creepshow (2019) - Season 1 Edit

A 100% painless, completely natural procedure.

A companion.

A fast miracle... but then...

A goddamn shit sandwich since Normandy.

A grand design perpetrated by me?

A grand total of 3.8 billion,

A little girl was dead because of me, because of my creation.

A little terrified.

A loneliness that existed in every nook and cranny

A lost recipe?

A lot of good that did me the last time.

A lot of things, Justin, but never a murderer.

A major 7.2 magnitude earthquake has been reported

A major 7.2 magnitude earthquake has been reported

A paragon of women's empowerment,

A Rambo?

A real dinosaur?

A sip here, a sip there.

A swamp dweller, you say?

Abandoned by my so called family three years ago.

Abandoned me.

About a lot of yesterdays, am I right?

About her meth habit and the fact that

After a while, everything seemed to grind him down.

After everything that has happened in this world,

After months of secrecy and speculation,

After your father died...

Agony.

Ah, don't be shy.

Ah, please help me! Please make it stop!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ahh!!

Ain't none of this funny!

Alex, I know you're fucking with me, dude.

Alex.

Alex.

All about?

All anyone knew was that the Earth

All he wanted was to eliminate anyone who hurt me.

All I can say is, thank God they didn't have search warrant.

All my problems are gonna be gone.

All of this bullshit about being

All that's left now is Lester.

All the money we had ever needed and more.

All those years, all that money spent,

All you have to do is come crawl into bed with us.

Allow this?

Alls we got left is... cat and dog food.

Almost everything.

Along with the few of the seniors if we were lucky.

Along with the Ottoman Empire.

Alright, here we go. That will be $10.37.

Alright, we make it there, our asses our saved. We gotta go.

Am Lester M. Barclay!

An important member of this club.

An obsession I couldn't shake.

An old heart for my new companion.

And a career in web design.

And be careful.

And before you leave here today, you'll kill again.

And celebrate with me, Jolene Payne,

And considered extremely dangerous.

And don't eat all my peanut butter cups!

And down here in the kitchen, we have Dane.

And drop them in the ocean,

And even little Skeeter.

And for a short time...

And for America!

And God Almighty, how you've taught us all to fear

And grandma can be a real bear when her feet get sore.

And he brought back the guy's real balls as well.

And he brought back the truck balls.

And he is about to take a bite out of crime!

And he's up there waiting for ya.

And here I was requesting a miracle.

And how every woman on this planet should just run

And I ain't never steered you wrong!

And I can't have you spilling out and dying everywhere,

And I did.

And I don't fee like lying.

And I dream about her every night.

And I find my daddy doing something he never done...

And I gotta say, there's some pretty weird shit going on.

And I know what you are.

And I never really believed that story.

And I promise, you'll have the perfect body that you deserve.

And I see the look on her face of terror.

And I stupidly assumed that you were going to help me get there.

And I was always here for ya!

And I'll fire.

And I'll take MAN: That's very kind of you.

And I'm sorry.

And I'm supposed to believe that no one

And I've considered your offer.

And in the name of the people you murdered.

And in the process, offering you, Celia,

And it is justice that brings us together tonight.

And jackpot.

And leave the keys under the visor.

And Lester and his goon squad loved every second of it.

And Lester's sick mind cooked up the ultimate spectacle

And let people die like that?

And like I told you before, I already knew

And look at me now.

And look how much is coming out.

And make him work for you.

And my my daddy...

And my mom forgot to pick up her foot cream,

And next, they go onto the pastor's family.

And now for something new from the charts.

And now he's some sort of unstoppable cyborg.

And now it's been forsaken.

And now, that image can be perfected.

And now, with our new body sculpting technique,

And now...

And of course, no one could find her kids the unholy spawn.

And plunged this community back into the Dark Ages.

And powerful Lydia Lane.

And Rambo?

And searching.

And Sloan hired me to be his spokesmodel.

And so after nearly 40 years of wedded bliss,

And so now he uses these Pogo stick things

And son, Jimmy, who encouraged Lester Barclay's reign of terror

And spare us the candy corn crap.

And stay away from me too!

And terrified people can make shameful decisions.

And that those that interfered did so at their own peril.

And that you can't take back when you calm down.

And that's that I loved her every day.

And that's when Marjorie turned to the paw.

And the horror.

And the other, I can't recall.

And the pastor gets it next.

And the pastor gets it next.

And then it wasn't just nights

And then over here in the den, Ethan.

And then...

And they

And they won't keep you safe.

And this finger grew into this little critter called Bob.

And this is Debbie three days later.

And this, is another one of nature's miracles.

And this, is our little wonder worm.

And those that cannot see will be punished.

And to hear that you just want a sidekick,

And we pray for our Lord's forgiveness.

And what was harder than anything in the days and months

And where did it get him?

And why would I?

And witness another miracle of science.

And would I put it all on the line if it wasn't completely safe?

And wouldn't you know it, it came from my Mavis herself.

And you know it.

And you, and you, and you.

And you'd be surprised to learn

And you'll be on your way.

And you'll look

And you're gonna need your strength for the journeys ahead.

And your life while Back away,

And your old ass grandma?

And your profession.

And, uh, good luck.

And, uh, me and Doc will take that case of beer.

And, um, I can tell you something that most men can't.

And... and she saved us.

Anxiously for my decision.

Any wealth produced by our efforts will, of course,

Anybody here?

Anyone in these elevators?

Anyone that challenged him was taken to the arena:

Anyone that could challenge him, and locked everyone up

Anyone there?

Anyway, I got this house when Samantha divorced me.

Anyway, inquiries have been initiated,

Anyway, the instant family from hell, right?

April 8th, 1977, there are 6 sightings at Champlain Lake?

Are holding a coin you saw come out of my mouth,

Are you guys worried about something?

Are you okay?

Are you ready to kiss those pounds goodbye?

Are you still there?

Are you sure you got enough to eat now, Bradwell.

Aren't you?

Argument on the factory floor

Armadillo? No.

As long as he can make me look like her.

As long as you made a profit!

As soon as he'd come home, he'd have to have his Harrow's.

As they can to access damages

As you can see, our results speak for themselves.

At 9:30 a.m.

At the bottom of the lake.

At this rate, in six days.

Attack at sundown.

Authorities are advising citizens to evacuate.

Basically fibrous tissue.

Be yours to keep in consideration of your...

Beautiful, isn't it?

Because guess who got there first?

Because he just wanted you to believe.

Because most of the time, well I'll get into that later.

Because this may be the most spectacular eclipse of our lifetime.

Bedtime.

Before or after the baby?

Before we knew it,

Believe me when I tell you, it's indisputable.

Besides, I have something to give you.

Besides...

Better hurry.

Better run!

Big damp spot right on his pants, am I right?

Billy, I'll fix the dent, I swear to God.

Billy?

Binky Bradwell?

Bitch didn't even have any contacts,

Bless

Bless his heart.

Blogs? Seriously?

Bob did those things.

Bob loves me.

Bob wants to go out, he goes out.

Bob!

Bob!

Bob!

Bob? You like that?

Bob's little offering to me.

Body sculpting technique due to be made available

Both of us.

Bring us along, lift us up?

Buckle up, everybody, and enjoy the ride.

Buddy?

But after a while, every night was Friday to him.

But after my Mavis died MAN: But after my Mavis died,

But after three generations of service,

But all that seemed to...

But during that time, I'm told,

But first, the celestial event on everyone's mind,

But first, tonight, join me for a glass of wine.

But he will come.

But her body would be trapped.

But I am a man of honor, and so I offer you a choice.

But I bet he's looking down right now from heaven.

But I do not wish to talk.

But I do.

But I don't want to get too ahead of myself,

But I was scared.

But I will find these American dogs

But I've gotta get you to school.

But if it'll shut you up.

But if you force me to risk the lives of my men...

But in this case, this is all a bit out of the ordinary,

But it was her third wish that convinced me otherwise.

But it was safe.

But it's definitely Champ.

But it's what happened next that demonstrated

But Marjorie, she couldn't resist.

But no one will ever believe us now

But none of that mattered.

But not in a funny way Excuse me, please.

But Parks and Rec just faxed over a water travel ban announcement.

But right now, I'm just uh,

But still, my bride would not return.

But the answers never came.

But the point was that the wishes came to pass.

But the weeks have not been kind,

But then you already know that given your age

But there are those who would have let you die.

But there is nothing that a Western hospital

But truth be told, Musky was already kind of a shit hole.

But until then, I gotta go, okay? Bye!

But we are a God fearing people.

But we won't let a little fog ruin our holiday weekend, will we?

But why me? You don't even know me.

But you already know that, don't ya?

But you get the gist of it.

But you would know all about that,

But, hey, it's the American dream, right?

But, it doesn't stop us from looking.

But, Mom, didn't Daddy use to joke that the foghorn was

But, with one major distinction.

But...actually, come to think of it,

By a former client, now deceased.

By claiming it was God's will. WOMAN: No.

Call me Whitey.

Can do to help with this condition.

Can I help you?

Can I look now?

Can keep the rust at bay, Lydia?

Can you tell me your name?

Can't do it myself.

Can't you see that?

Cannot be found.

Captain Talby of the United States Army?

Causes me to produce gold when I am in pain.

Celia!

Celia?

Celia.

Champ was here.

Champ, the lake monster?

Champ.

Champy doesn't exist. It's not real.

Champy was just..

Champy yawning before taking a nap?

Check out that guy.

Chet was coming after me and Thomas with a knife,

Chet, stop.

Chet?

Christ had risen, had he not?

Clark Wilson?

Club rules and all that.

Come and get your beating!

Come hell or high water.

Come here. It's okay.

Come in here and get 'em!

Come on, Brendan, get up! Get up!

Come on, guys, let's get out of here.

Come on, what do you say?

Come on, you want some, huh? Huh?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

Come quickly!

Come watch a movie with us.

Coming to you live on this foggy Columbus Day weekend.

Coming!

Crawled in there and died.

Cut those arteries, it's over fast.

Dad didn't care if the whole town believed him or not.

Dad was right.

Dad was right. She does exist

Dad would have.

Damn it!

Dear God.

Degree of pain, and I cannot give your schoolyard drama

Did Billy do that to you?

Did Bob fly all the way to a call center in Texas?

Did you know?

Didn't they, Eddie? EDDIE: But not by me.

Die, die, die, you fucking vampires!

Diet and exercise are a thing of the past.

Diet pills, fat burners, I've tried everything.

Do whatever you will.

Do you do you wanna die, old man?

Do you believe in fate?

Do you need medical assistance?

Do you need to go outside?

Do you really ever run out of candidates?

Do you really ever run out of candidates?

Do you really think that traveling the world,

Do you wanna come sleep with us tonight?

Doc, what is she saying?

Doc!

Doesn't come home.

Doesn't magically erase our situation.

Doesn't say anything for days.

Domestic bliss.

Don't be scared.

Don't do it, Thomas.

Don't know anything about you.

Don't move.

Don't play his game.

Don't you believe us?

Don't you just wish you could make them suffer?

Don't you remember?

Donuts anyone?

Doubling its total over the last 30 years.

Dr. Herbert Sloan is here to unveil his top secret

Dr. Sloan is so excited to see your transformation.

Dr. Sloan.

Due to the weather conditions, the police have officially

During a solar eclipse of this magnitude.

Each day had become an eternity.

Eat crow!

Effective immediately.

Either way I'm getting killed over some fog bitch.

End end it.

Even on days I couldn't bear the click clacking

Even though God, where was she?

Even when nobody else gave a damn!

Ever look out into the yard to see that your favorite pet

Every day after school, I'd have to get him his Harrow's Supreme.

Every goddamn wienerschnitzel in this whole goddamn

Every one of you, or I swear I'll shoot.

Every time there's a storm,

Everybody's doing it.

Everyone in town thought he was crazy.

Everyone kissing your ass?

Everyone knows there's no fountain of youth.

Everyone left town because of the storm.

Everyone's getting ready to celebrate Tom's promotion.

Everything okay?

Evil devil woman, all high and mighty all of the sudden.

Excuse me?

Far as I'm concern, this is my ticket.

Father, mother.

Federal Emergency Management Authority.

Feel the miracle and see the difference.

Fetch her tampons,

Find it.

Find out what's going on with Richie.

First it was the Smiths, then the Kidners,

First responders are getting to buildings as fast

First the police,

Follow me please.

Follow the edge of the water until you get to the path, and hurry.

For all eternity.

For every problem, there is a solution.

For her to play with dolls.

For what?

Forty seven years I was faithful to that woman.

Four multi arc television dramas.

Freaking loser.

Freaking minefields to the right.

Friends call me Whitey.

From a debt collector.

From a water intake reservoir in South America.

From the time of Abdul Amin the Second.

From the wet weather.

From this expedition,

From your dumb ass mom and you idiot kids. This thing...

Fuck off and leave me alone!

Fuck this.

Fuck you, Whitey.

Fuck you! You took my fingers.

Fuck!

Fucking dead!

Fucking look around. Open your fucking eyes.

George Kelso. George who?

Georgia?

German army would have heard that shot

Get a little jumpy during an eclipse.

Get away.

Get back in there!

Get out here now.

Get some rest.

Get up, get up.

Get your ass gone.

Get your dad's name in the National Geographic or something.

Girl, your daddy's dead.

Give it back!

Glad as all hell Chet's gonna finish the job.

Go and get Mom, okay?

Go on now so we don't get caught in the thick of it.

Go study at your good for nothin' friend's house.

God, no, no!

Goddamn balls.

Goddamn king!

Good luck.

Good night to you too. Good night, Mom!

Good night.

Good, Mama.

Got him back pretty good though.

Got the fishhooks and wire saw...

Got the radiator goin' in September.

Guess my own belly doesn't know what time it is.

Guess you daddy wasn't out of his mind after all.

H he's changed.

Had grown tame.

Had reached its sell by date.

Harold!

Harry?

Has been upgraded to a category 4.

Has come across this animal until now?

Has to do with your late wife?

He ain't been feeding you very much, has he?

He can't talk

He died after the first world war,

He forgot about us, Rose.

He forgot about you.

He goes out, night after night, looking

He had to give you at least $325.

He just took advantage of you.

He knew.

He loses everything.

He only started coming round when Daddy's insurance paid up.

He owns the station. He did it,

He really likes popcorn.

He said it helped him put the long day behind him.

He says Champy is real.

He says his first word.

He spent all his time and our money.

He spent his life chasing it.

He tells Mom.

He wanted the radiators on at full blast.

He was always good to me.

He was always watchin' those soaps.

He was our only son.

He was right.

He went out there every night

He went to his grandparents'.

He won't be back for a month.

He'd say, "Son, there are things in the corners of this world

He'll bleed out real slow.

He's my daddy.

He's washed up on the beach again.

Head for that building!

Held our whole town hostage, and you forced us to watch.

Hell, y'all begged me to do it.

Hello!

Hello! Help!

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Are you still there?

Henry?

Henry.

Her daughter once offered me a blowjob to keep quiet

Her idiot son, Ricky, stole my car and tried to hock it.

Her latest fiancée was doing time for murder.

Here you are, Mr. Quill.

Here.

Hey there, Dr. Sloan.

Hey there, Lakers. This is Jolene Payne,

Hey, I can have a dating life.

Hey, Jim!

Hey, Kevin said I mean

Hey, look.

Hey, people started naming their kids Ralph.

Hey, Rivers, you wanna light a candle for him?

Hey, we got a man down.

Hey, you better climb down and run home to mama!

Hey!

Hi, America.

Hi, I'm Dr. Herbert Sloan,

Hi.

His appetite's grown. First it was the animals.

His death was...

His entire life tragedy.

His vision of the future.

His wife oooh!

Hm. He's investigating.

Holding your hand in Hong fucking Kong

Holy shit.

Hooray. Three cheers for me.

Hope you're not afraid of the dark,

How 'bout if I call you

How are those dishes coming along there, Joseph?

How could my...only son...

How did you get there?

How do they do that?

How goes it, Ralphie boy?

How is that possible?

How many species there still are to be discovered on this planet.

How successful women owe it to the rest of us?

How was school, kiddo?

How was the movie?

How will this world contain your wickedness?

How you come about that?

How you gonna get us out of this one, Talby?

How's Celia taking all of this?

Huh?

I I'm sorry.

I it's been 24 hours.

I always win!

I always win.

I am a threat to you, aren't I?

I am not an appendage to the brilliant

I am so far above you, you couldn't find me in the clouds.

I am the fucking...

I am the King of Musky Holler!

I asked the paw to send me a killer

I await your response.

I braved uncharted territory and I'll reap the rewards. But,

I can hear you.

I can hear you. Can you hear me?

I can wait a little while longer.

I can't do this anymore.

I can't let him see me like this.

I can't. Right? Not without lying,

I changed my mind!

I come home, and my daddy...

I couldn't build if I just had the right tools."

I deserved that promotion.

I did everything you said.

I did what needed doing.

I didn't do those things.

I didn't know anybody was in there.

I didn't know what to do, you see?

I didn't mean

I didn't put you there.

I didn't say nothing to nobody!

I didn't think it would leave anything behind.

I do not deserve any better.

I do not mean to interrupt, but I am in a great

I don't care if he is Dr. Seuss,

I don't know...

I don't really wanna be a downer, it's just

I don't see how that's actually gonna happen.

I don't think nobody's here.

I don't think none of this here's funny.

I don't wanna go back.

I don't wanna lose you.

I don't want you to think I'm speakin' poorly of my daddy.

I find him.

I found him that way.

I got 'em!

I got a big fucking gun here!

I got a really dumb idea.

I got the crap house, the shit mortgage,

I gotta go. Good night!

I gotta say

I gotta take you back to the airport.

I grew terribly lonely.

I guess I'm just your average, ordinary, so called citizen.

I guess this is it.

I had to look up testicles to find out what they were made of.

I hang on.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, boys and girls,

I have seen the vision of our future.

I have what you might call a passion for found objects.

I I can't say. He's real sick.

I I I couldn't even hurt him.

I I mean...

I I think...my heart will stop soon. Please.

I I'm Lester M. Barclay.

I I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I invited you here.

I killed a VC once.

I love him.

I love you, Marjorie.

I love you. I love you too.

I may be able to walk away under my own power.

I mean, hi.

I mean, I I know I have meetings, I need my car.

I mean, littering the floors with the shards

I mean, there's this kid in my school

I mean, with this kind of money we're close to being able

I mean, you look like you need a hospital, like, yesterday.

I mean, you're a golden dragon,

I mean...you helped build with the treehouse, remember?

I miss them too.

I must have shot that.

I need where's the bathroom?

I need to document this.

I needed to sort this the fuck out.

I never should have doubted you.

I promise, uh, look, I've just got so much work on right now.

I promise.

I promise.

I promise.

I promise. This is safe.

I really can't do this.

I remember it was right around the time the love of your life

I said old lady Morton's place.

I saw it myself.

I see what you did there.

I should have never have let you drive.

I telecommute.

I tell them I tele you know what?

I tell you, it was a Halloween prank,

I think I even gave him a black eye.

I think she's dead, Joey.

I think she's some sort of dinosaur.

I think this is what killed the poor thing.

I think this is what killed the poor thing.

I think we should stop. MAN: I need to rest.

I thought that was your bike.

I thought this was about losing weight not gaining it.

I thought we had an understanding.

I thought we were the only ones thickheaded enough

I told you I wasn't through with you

I trust everything is in order?

I want everyone to know that.

I want him to get the credit for this.

I was admiring your wedding band.

I was close to 300 pounds.

I was getting $500 gold pieces even saying $500 gold pieces.

I was just trying to help.

I was looking for an easy cure,

I was nearly there, but something was still missing.

I was scared.

I was sitting at home doing a bunch of nothing.

I was you once.

I watched as you took the others...one by one.

I went by your house, but I saw your brother's car.

I will be your daddy again, okay?

I wish we'd known each other longer, Skeet.

I wished Marjorie alive, yes.

I wished my Marjorie back from the dead.

I won't let you down.

I would be kept informed.

I, 'cause I'll tell you people something right now!

I'll catch up later.

I'll cut your head square off that neck.

I'll fucking kill you!

I'll go work on my fucking truck.

I'll hear him scratching right up here.

I'll take those keys now.

I'll tell Rose you were here.

I'm around if you need me.

I'm barely renting Stop talking.

I'm beginning to think maybe I need to call a grownup.

I'm calling the cops.

I'm coming for you!

I'm Detective Moseley.

I'm going to ruin you.

I'm gonna carve you up so small, fish are gonna have a feast.

I'm gonna fucking kill you this time!

I'm gonna get you a nice warm meal.

I'm Henry Quill. I got an email.

I'm Henry.

I'm Herbert Sloan with the skin deep solution for every... body.

I'm Herbert Sloan with the skin deep solution for every... body.

I'm hungry. Come on.

I'm just collecting what I'm owed.

I'm just collecting what I'm owed.

I'm just gonna take a little picture, alright?

I'm not a killer. I'm not a killer!

I'm not doing it.

I'm not normally this...um, agro.

I'm not too fond of blueberry. What else you got?

I'm smarter now.

I'm so I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry, I thought you'd be in earlier.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's too freaky for me.

I'm such a fool. I just thought they would suck it all out of us.

I'm surprised he's still here,

I'm the mayor of this town.

I'm the one with the empire!

I'm the Woman of the Year.

I'm the Woman of the Year.

I'm trying to get her to go home.

I've been following your story.

I've come to save you.

I've come to save you.

I've got FDA approval, had countless trials.

I've missed you.

I've put up with enough shit

I've struggled with negative body image.

I've sunk every dime I have into this.

If I didn't do what I did!

If people are looking for you,

If that's really what you think is the answer,

If wants to come in, he'll come in.

If we keep him around for too long.

If you are unable to evacuate,

If you don't make a right choice here,

If you got bounced from university tomorrow.

If you need to go outside, you'll go outside.

If you really think that that will square things,

If you want our filthy hides...

If...you come out now unarmed and accept your fate,

Ignores all the fog warnings.