The Wolf of Wall Street (2013) Soundboard Edit

A benchmark for future business, Kevin.

A firm whose roots are so deeply embedded into Wall Street

A fucking yacht?

Absolutely off the fucking wall.

Adderall to stay focused,

Aerotyne. Yeah.

Ah, fuck.

Ah!

All cash. None of it's on the books.

All day long, decimal points, high frequencies.

All nuns are lesbians.

All of you know Kimmie Belzer, right?

All right.

All right.

Also known as a wire...

And by 10:00, I didn't know who or what the fuck I was.

And every one of you here today.

And I got you.

And I'd do that for anybody, you know,

And it goes. The park is open 24/7, 365,

And just as Brad was released from jail, too.

And let me tell you something.

And spent whatever allowance they had

And then he's Mad Max all over again.

And then overnight your life can change.

And weed

And went straight to the drool phase.

And you tell that fucking piece of shit,

Anyway, this is for you.

Are people looting and raping?

Are we fucking talking tonight,

Are you gonna comment on my hair?

Are you gonna finish the rest of that Danish?

Are you sure?

As to choose a chain of fucking hibachi restaurants

At 4:00 p.m., I popped a few more ludes,

Aunt Emma is dead.

Aunt Emma?

Aunt Emma.

Aunt Emma...

Babe, I spoke to the lawyers again today.

Before your luck runs out.

Beni fucking hana!

BO: Tell me where you are! Don't fucking drive...

Boom! Overnight, changed his entire life.

Both named Rocco.

But I had to take them just right.

But I have business in Switzerland.

But I'm telling you, even that didn't help.

But money was stolen from my apartment.

But you just said that everybody wants to get rich.

Can I call you back?

Can I get you anything else, gentlemen?

Can you get him out of here?

Chop? We can fucking handle chop, right?

Come for me, baby.

Come on! Come on!

Companies these people know

Convince them it's something they need, you know what I mean?

Did I?

Did you just say wear a wire?

Do you dream of becoming financially independent

Do you jerk off?

Doesn't ring a bell

Don't know what a lude is? I'll tell you.

Don't you fucking touch me.

Don't you fucking touch them!

Donnie...

Down, sideways, or in fucking circles.

Duke it out! Hit him!

Easy, easy. He's fine. He's just a nervous flyer.

Enjoy the day.

Everybody on point!

Except, guess who grew up with him?

FBI!

Fondle him and shit like that

For $25,000.

For 11 seconds.

For my good friend

For shit that had nothing to do with me.

Fuck this, shit that.

Fuck you!

Fuck! The kid makes it look so goddamn easy!

Fuck. You motherfucking piece of shit!

Fucking cheap fucks.

Fucking things are against my chest. I can't breathe.

Gene. How are you, Gene?

Get in now or..

Get the fuck out!

Get the fuck...

Give me a kiss, sweetheart.

Go get a job at fucking McDonald's,

God!

Good to see you again, Jordan

Good.

Great! Even better!

Hang up your phones! Everybody, hey!

Have some fucking manners.

He was supposed to deliver some money,

He'd affect this weird British accent.

Hey, Barry, what's up?

Hey, come on. Who buys this crap?

Hey, get the fuck away from me!

Hey, thanks, Jordan. Thanks a...

Hey!

Hi

His eyes seem to be a little bit odd, don't they?

His friend from school, Steve Madden.

His name is Denham.

Hmm.

Hold on, baby!

How are things at home?

How do I describe this?

How's being sober?

How's morale?

I appreciate the call.

I can't understand you!

I can't...

I couldn't believe how these guys talked to each other.

I did a lot of bad shit. I'm going to hell, Jordan!

I do not... No, I don't recall.

I don't know.

I don't love you anymore, Jordan!

I don't mind it.

I fucking love that.

I got a blinking light,

I got five more just like you, bro.

I got it! I've got it!

I got this non alcoholic shit.

I gotta say, these Swiss were some sneaky motherfuckers.

I have Exxon at 86 1/4 six months ago.

I have offered our lovely sales assistant,

I have to talk to you.

I knew you were coming home the next day.

I know we're a little unorthodox, we're a little

I know, but I don't drink. You remember?

I know.

I love you

I mean, I just met this fucking guy.

I mean, what person with a college education

I mean, you could talk to the SEC.

I mean... I mean, it's on a whole other level.

I must have bad reception. Are you speaking English?

I swear to God, I will fucking kill you!

I want a divorce

I was fucked up, Jordan,

I was selling garbage to garbage men

I'll tell you one thing.

I'm just trying to be nice.

I'm not fucking doing it.

I'm not leaving.

I'm really enjoying it.

I'm really happy for you.

I'm sure we'll be seeing each other

I've got a good chance of getting them.

If we hired 'em, they dropped straight out of college overnight

If you don't have the guts to attend Jordan Belfort's.

If you sell $10,000 worth of this stock,

In a sleeveless muumuu,

Integrity.

Into Switzerland with all that money.

Is she like a first cousin, or is she...

Is there an apology message on the machine?

It also makes you a better person.

It is perhaps the best thing

It should. Right? It should profit the both of us.

It's advantageous to everyone. Correct?

It's because I believed in you, Kimmie,

It's not like that.

It's not you, sweetheart, don't beat yourself up.

It's the first time a stock is offered for sale to the general population.

It's them...

JANET: Is he... Is he wearing a bow tie?

Jesus Christ, what are we gonna do

Jesus fucking Christ.

Jesus, why am I telling you all this? Why am I...

Jesus! That's my mortgage, man

Jordan Belfort just welched on his deal with the SEC.

Jordan, do I have a surprise for you!

Jordan, I don't know what the fuck to do!

Jordan, listen to me clearly.

JORDAN: Everything had to run tight.

JORDAN: Forbes made me a superstar.

JORDAN: I gave up everyone.

JORDAN: It's your wedding present, sweetheart.

JORDAN: What's his problem?

Jordan! Jordan!

Jordan! Jordan! Look who came!

Just my job, you know.

Just say I'm wrong, right.

Just so she could pay her son's tuition.

Just tell her I'll be out in a couple of minutes.

Last month. The Lollipop Club.

LAWYER: I'm sorry.

Let 'em watch. Know what I mean?

Let Donnie be in charge.

Let me ask you something?

Let me lock in that trade right now

Let's fucking run! Go!

Like I said, I don't know where your money is.

Like you said, There's no friends on Wall Street. Right?

Listen to me! Don't go! Listen to me.

Look at him. He's got a sense. What are you, Kreskin?

Look at this shit.

Look at this. Look.

Look, Jordan, I can't discuss an ongoing investigation.

MAN 2: Okay, 25,000

MAN: (OVER RADIO) Gale warning! Gale warning!

MAN: Can we do 8,000 shares?

MAN: Get out of the way, asshole!

Mayday!

Meanwhile, he thinks he's getting shit rich,

Mine!

Mmm hmm.

Most of the Wall Street jackasses that I bust,

Motherfuck! You're fucking dead!

Moving into key management positions, this place really

Mr. Jordan.

My lawyer said that you're going to prison for 20 years, Jordan.

My life is fucked, you know?

My metabolism's pumping. I can't feel shit!

My new piece of jewelry. Check that out.

My partner and I are very interested in renting out your garage

NAOMI: Sure.

NAOMI: Wave to Daddy.

Next was a steam so I could sweat out

NICKY: Let the scalping begin!

NICKY: We're here. We're here. Everyone calm down.

NICKY: Yeah, you want this?

No matter where you came from,

No matter who you are,

No shit, you can't even buy 'em anymore

Now the FBI is another animal completely.

Of over two dozen serious offenders

Oh, baby...

Oh, bro, it's not like that.

Oh, fuck. You're sweet.

Oh, fuckers.

Oh, God!

Oh, God.

Oh, good for you.

Oh, gosh.

Okay, Mr. Jordan.

Okay!

Okay. No, no. This could be explained

Okay. Shh! Shh!

On a Saturday afternoon

One fucking day.

One thing led to another. Things got out of hand

Ooh, please, tell me something I don't know.

Other substances.

Over the course of six round trips,

Ow! It's that slipped disc thing again.

Point is, it doesn't matter what the fuck they say.

POLICE OFFICER: Come on, get up.

Pond scum.

Pride

Radar detectors out of their garage.

Right from my sock drawer. All right?

Right. The porterhouse from Argentina

ROBIN LEACH: Anchors aweigh!

Rogue wave!

Say what you will,

See that humongous estate down there?

See what I'm saying? He's creating urgency.

Send in the stripees!

Sent two lawyers down to review our files.

Shall I check if tanks are rolling down the Rue de la Croy?

Shoving cash in your mattress.

So I knew if I took my drugs right,

So what do I do?

So, uh...

Some disgusting wildebeest

Some little hooker you were fucking last night?

Sorry. I don't recall that company.

Split your differential and tip the fuck over.

Steve, come over here for a second.

Steve.

Stratton's very own Gestapo.

Take your suit, take your dick, okay,

Tens of millions of dollars at stake, you know.

Thank you for your vote of confidence

Thank you very much for that.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That befit my high minded ambitions.

That Steve has,

That's her in the house there.

That's horrible. You're not gonna...

That's okay.

That's right

The best hospital in New York City.

The drugs still in my system.

The Lemmon 714 was the Holy Grail.

The main guy. You know who the main...

The most expensive real estate in the world

The name of the company, Aerotyne International.

The only real objection that they have is that they don't trust you guys

The sentence of the court shall be

Their fathers are douchebags,

Then I'd assess the damage.

Then sold those shares right back to our friends. The..

Then they kicked his ass.

There is no such thing as bad publicity, sweetheart.

There you go. Get your legs in.

They'll still be pursuing you for criminal wrongdoing.

They're built to be thrown like a lawn dart.

They're fucking...

They're like the Mona Lisa. They find eye contact,

Think about it. You're dealing with numbers.

This is fun.

This is what you fucking do. What do I pay you for?

Through one rathole or another.

Till the next time, brother

Time to paint the tape. Whoo!

To commit securities fraud.

To cooperate.

Today it is trading at 36 1/2.

Took five years to finish high school.

Tootski?

Two counts securities fraud.

Two years later

Ugh!

Uh... (CHUCKLES)

Very long time.

Was something out of a fairy tale.

We gotta get out of here. Let's go fucking run.

We had a conversation...

We had, literally, a fuckload of money.

We have him here in our office!

We require immediate assistance!

We think they need to see their day in court as well.

We were specifically advised not to leave the country.

We'd be happy to help.

We'll give you a hand with that.

We'll turn his company into a penny stock! You hear me?

We're jumping into bed every two minutes?

Well, he discovered it was the mother's sister.

Well, I...

Well, this is fucked.

Well..

Well...

What a fucking idiot.

What did you take?

What do you do, bro?

What do you mean, what do I do?

What do you mean, you want a divorce?

What do you think? We're, we're...

What happens to Stratton?

What the fuck are you talking about, Otter?

What the fuck is he doing?

What the fuck, Jordan?

What?

What?

When did he pass?

When you get really good at it,

Where are the ludes?

Where we bought a house.

Which legally speaking was a big no no,

While our wives were out shopping for Christmas dresses

Who held stock in his name for me.

Who's got big voluptuous tits.

Who's he? Who? Tell me who...

Whoo!

Why do you hold it in? Why do you...

Why don't you blow me, Hanna?

Why don't you light a fire or something and I'll be right out.

Why don't you tell your wife that?

Why not?

Why would you be so cruel

Will you marry me?

Willy fucking Wonka, okay?

Without even a hiccup.

Wolfie?

Yeah, Donnie!

Yeah, give me one...

Yeah, I forgot to tell you. He's got some...

Yeah, yeah, that's us. Hey. This is it. This is it.

Yeah, yeah. French fries, pommes frites.

Yeah! Fuck, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, if we take it slow.

Years of heartache, not to mention

Yes, yeah. Have a seat. How are you?

You all right? He's all right.

You American shit!

You and Daddy are gonna go

You gotta drive straight home,

You guessed it, me.

You guys hungry?

You have my money taped to your tits.

You hear me? Fuck you!

You know what I'm saying? It's like...

You know what? If you're happy, God bless you, buddy

You know what... Yeah.

You know, a lot of those guys died but they never sued anybody.

You know, they got crazy.

You make a lot of money?

You mean to tell me that if I put you in at Union Carbide at 7

You see,

You show me a pay stub for $72,000 on it,

You strap him to a skateboard,

You take care of my niece, my love.

You understand?

You wait

You want this?

You!

You'll fucking be stroking it and you'll be thinking about money.

You're crazy.

You're gonna bring us two Absolut martinis.

You're gonna bring us two more.

Yves Saint Laurent.

85% of Steve Madden Shoes,

A little trip together. NAOMI: Violet!

All right! Ah! (GIGGLING)

And I have some more. Really?

Can I have that Danish? No, no, go ahead.

DONNIE: What? I'll do it for you.

for the exchange of services. Oh!

Get him on the phone now! We don't know anything yet.

Hmm. Thank you.

I'm not a fucking shvartze. I got it.

It's not a homophobic thing. All right...

Least of all stockbrokers, right? Mmm hmm.

No, no. You said T&A. No, I didn't

No. That's good.

Nothing? No? Oh, no.

Oh, Jesus Christ! You like that?

Oh, really? Yeah.

Oh, you like it? Yeah

Penny stocks? Yeah.

real soon. I'm sure.

Right. Okay, I'll sit down... I will do it for you.

Shut the fuck up. I'm serious.

Slovenian. Slovenian?

so I don't really remember. Yeah.

There you go. All right. I'll just lean back...

We are going down! I got 'em!

What kind of name is that? That is my name.

What? Having kids with her? Yeah.

What'd he do? I don't know what he did.

when I come home from work. Did you?

Yeah, right. All right.

Yeah. (STAMMERING) Of course. Yeah.

'Cause I want you to come for me, baby.

'Cause the following month,

'Cause we're gonna get fucking nuts.

(ALL CHEERING)

(ALL CHUCKLE)

(ALL GROANING)

(ALL LAUGH)

(ALL LAUGHING)

(APPLAUSE)

(BLUES MUSIC)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(CAR HONKING)

(CHANTING) One of us. Gooble gobble, one of us.

(CHEERING)

(CHOKING)

(CHUCKLING) Wait...

(CLATTERING)

(COUGHS)

(DANCE MUSIC)

(DONNIE LAUGHING) Yeah, it's real fucking funny, Donnie.

(ELECTRIC BLUES MUSIC)

(GRUNTING)

(GRUNTING)

(HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING)

(JORDAN GRUNTING)

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) OTTER: It's not gonna make you rich

(LAUGHS)

(MOANS)

(MURMURING)

(PANTING)

(SCREAMING) Yes!

(SCREAMS) God damn it!

(SIGHING DEEPLY)

(SIGHING) You know.

(TOILET FLUSHING)

(UPBEAT BLUES MUSIC)

(YELLING)

♪ It's a one way street ♪