Big Mouth (2017) - Season 4 Edit

A "lost soul"?

A 3, bring up Jessi's life feed.

A big pile of napkins for Steve!

A boy named Soup!

A disembodied spirit.

A famous controversy.

A ghost?

A good chance! You have bad genes!

A good gift for a make out party?

A hundred should be the first number!

A lifetime supply of getting stabbed  by your future self.

A lotion, pump, pump, pump.

A surprise drop by, how unwelcome.

A tiny conditioner from Courtyard by Marriott,

A tissue, two, three, four.

A tissue, two, three, four.

A whorehouse madam with a little gun she keeps in her bosom,

About sneaking away from a field trip!

About those blue balls before he dumps you.

About what a loser and fuck up I am?

About what? How hot and cool and mysterious Michael Angelo is?

According to WebMD, I have turtleneck butt.

Actually, Connie, I'm relieved.

Actually, I have two.

Actually, I think I will actually just stay with

Actually, no.

Actually, Paula, we're more than friends.

Actually, that was an earthquake.

Actually, that's why I brought you, um, Humboldt Fog.

Actually, the most important part is up top.

Actually, yes.

After that fight with Jessi, I had this crazy dream, and now I'm a fucking mess.

After you sign the waiver, get your frosh asses into the common room.

Again, did you say "butt fucking"? Or are you saying "buck fucking"?

Ah doy!

Ah, I'm not dead.

Ah, it's okay. I'm not worried.

Ah, Nick, it's not the size of the pig.

Ah, Nick! Jinkies, he is a ghost!

Ah, this one's got a little head on her shoulders.

Ah, yes, breath is life.

Ah! Come here, Papa.

Ah! My phone is in my pocket.

Ah! Should we...

Ah! That's so hot.

Ah! What can we do?

Ahem. You look good.

Ahh. Smell all that floor cleanser.

Ain't nothin', bro, you didn't even scuff the Forces.

Aka, I'm afraid to leave the group.

Alex Baldwin.

Alison is dead!

Alison was executed at the boot camp

All of 'em.

All right, Andrew, I think I  [grunts]

All right, baby.

All right, buddy, we're gonna give you broad, hairy shoulders

All right, I'm gonna go have sex with poop, then eat it.

All right, Jay, the time has come...

All right, ladies, see you after school.

All right, let's continue with downward facing dick.

All right, let's get you some toe hair.

All right, look at me.

All right, man, but I heard you're bad at sex.

All right, pledges,

All right, show Missy and her little titties her room.

All right, the trick here is,

All right, we got this. Let's make it count.

All right, well, we get it.

All right! Fuck Andrew.

All right. [grunts]

All right. Hey, Gary, come over here.

All right. Now that school's asleep, I'm lifeguard Coach Steve,

All right. Permission granted, sailor.

All right. So, to enter a body,

All the queers got to go to Stonewall.

All we do is talk. You know what? Let's start over.

All your underwear's gonna look like two mice fucked to death.

Allow me to show you the Glouberman method.

Alone together, forever.

Also, Andrew, you can pull up your pants now.

Also, honey, you do not need the cardio. You look fantastic.

Also, I can't work Saturday.

Also, I got rock candy from the gift shop.

Also, I, like, came when he fingered me.

Also, is his hair, like, his skin?

Also, the butt fuckee needs to be awake.

Also, you need a signature move.

Although she said she would.

Am I also supposed to care about Hurricane Katrina or Columbine?

Am I bullying right?

Am I destined to be cold and alone?

Am I really nothing?

Am I right?

America runs on Skumpy.

An emotionally unavailable success junkie with a two handicap.

And a high fucking ass!

And a mean, shitty soul

And a metal spike pierced his skull

And a puzzle's just a picture you haven't met yet.

And a stress zit on your upper lip.

And accidentally switch souls.

And Ace Ventura's not funny?

And after I pissed blood on you?

And all that jumping makes my tush look high and proud.

And all the things you're doing with each other's vegetables.

And also I'm kind of a psycho.

And also that you're mean as fuck, but not to me,

And also, I'm jacked!

And also, you have to dye your hair inky black by the age of 30.

And as soon as he showed up,

And baking in hell for all eternity, because Jesus is watching!

And be so respectful.

And being gay, like... [sputters]

And believe me, the audience wants to see what that is!

And besides, baby, I'm your only choice. So, what are you gonna do?

And besides, hand jobs are only fun if both of us are into it.

And besides, I like Devon being my friend.

And by that, I mean that I've narrowed it down

And by the way, you guys look fucking ridiculous.

And child molesters dressed up as leaf piles!

And Clyde!

And consume his flesh like we were at a human steak bistro.

And deep down, you have to know too.

And did you see his hot little nipples in the Wakanda sequence?

And do not touch my hair with your eyes.

And don't be stingy with the Nicky powder.

And eat it with cocktail sauce.

And eat my dickhole.

And even though I was held back for a really funny reason,

And feel up.

And for you, a charger for my old PalmPilot.

And frankly, it freaks me out!

And fucked up opinions about hair.

And get some details about this cheese girl your dad is dating.

And get to know each other  a little better.

And give in to my enemy?

And God says, "It's Adam and Eve,

And guess what, bitch?

And have you thought about who's going to fuck whom?

And he ditches me?

And he don't wanna be friends with you no more?

And he has those muscles that, like, make a V.

And he seems sad and lost, like something's going on with him.

And he's like...

And he's you from the future?

And his ass is out 'cause we need to get real Nick and jam him back up there.

And I actually think it's gonna pop tonight.

And I couldn't go when Nick walked in on me, carry the one, so four weeks ago?

And I definitely want that recipe for that salad dressing.

And I didn't do them one time, and then Zaide died!

And I don't mean to pile it on,

And I don't respond well to change.

And I guess I'm also really grateful to be back in my old school.

And I had a robot of you that died.

And I have to embrace you.

And I just can't stand the idea of you making these sinful choices

And I just woke up. So...

And I know it's the new thing, but please, please,

And I know you're gonna make some other monster really, really happy.

And I love you so hard, it could make me shit,"

And I love you, but I need to be who I am, not just at school, but also here at home.

And I made my famous Swiss roll!

And I realized that didn't feel right either.

And I really appreciate that.

And I sucked your blood. You gave me herpes.

And I think they're gonna have a pretty sweet life.

And I want it to end.

And I want that for you.

And I wanted you to know how grateful I am to have you in my life.

And I was there teaching gymnastics.

And I, for whatever reason, was jealous of...

And I'll keep getting bigger and bigger

And I'm a little shorter than her.

And I'm grateful for your kind words.

And I'm happy for her.

And I'm not an undercover cop.

And I'm not chubby, I'm prosperous.

And I'm not going to take this anymore!"

And I'm thrilled to get this time back.

And I've already paid this small, insignificant man.

And if I hand jobbed him, my wrist would literally shatter.

And if the wildfires don't get us, the war over water surely will!

And if you do come at me, I will attack you until you're totally...

And if you don't do it, someone else will.

And if you leave, I'll be all alone.

And if you're not ready by then,

And in a pointless twist, we've got a new masked principal.

And it changed me forever, but it's private.

And it doesn't work the other way around.

And it just feels scary.

And it lurks around every corner.

And it was like, "That's who I am."

And it's always been you.

And it's always been you.

And it's causing our instruments to go a little bit haywire.

And it's our duty! Right?

And it's, like, thin and curling.

And Izzy's kind of annoying.

And just go as... as nobody.

And keep 'em coming.

And Luda's passing out the hot apps!

And Marsha P. Johnson, she threw out the first pitch.

And Matthew, well, he's more of a friend at this point.

And maybe bring my sheets 'cause Dad's are burgundy and weird.

And maybe yoidle my doidle.

And medical insurance doesn't exist anymore.

And Michael Angelo dumped me.

And muddy! Guys, help yourself to some snacks!

And my parents!

And Nick, he doesn't like Jessi's boyfriend.

And not in person like a lunatic.

And not in the way that I wanted!

And now DJ has her own kids, and the house is even fuller! Have mercy.

And now gays can fuck wherever they want.

And now I just feel weird.

And now I realize I'm freaking you out more!

And now I'm here, and the boys are dicks, and the girls are also dicks,

And now I'm home,

And now something that's been, like, bugging me for almost minutes.

And now that I'm very intelligent, I know how to save the Earth.

And now they just want to save themselves.

And now this.

And now you'll never write for Bill Maher!

And now you're at Foxwoods?

And now you're spending your whole time time making out with a guy

And now, hoping to turn around his truly dreadful summer,

And now, I shall push with my neck muscles.

And on the second day of school, I'm gonna wear a cape.

And one movie. It was such a good experience.

And other stuff we're too shy to mention.

And pick up your bestest friend?

And really, how bad could it be?

And replay all the embarrassing things that happened at school.

And see how much of your grandma's cane we can fit up your pussy!

And see nothing but profound loneliness.

And she asked for antibiotics,

And she just says, "Aw, thanks. You're cool too."

And she might need more time to wrap her head around this.

And she went psycho.

And she's gone, okay. Alone.

And shedding your uterine lining.

And so do I! To help me get out  of these water skis!

And so does Seth.

And solve this problem for us?

And spend so much money.

And surprise, you guys are totally gross, and everybody knows it.

And tag me in that.

And that I'm just a loser.

And that is the story of the first Thanksgiving.

And that is the strongest shape known  to man.

And that might mean you're gonna send me to a conversion camp

And that was Gina.

And that was so much fun.

And that's exactly what the real Nick would say. Gimme those ropes.

And that's not an elegant queen. That's Lola.

And that's part of the thrill.

And the boy only likes to poop at home!

And the butter is obviously their pillows.

And the confidence to wear flip flops with long fucking nails.

And the food's actually pretty good here.

And the government should pay for tampons!

And the sun is caramelizing us like a brûléed g****fruit,

And the tall one's gonna write a song about Nick.

And the whole camp made fun of my "burning bush."

And then "future" me stabbed  "me" me with a knife!

And then everyone thinks I'm a saint.

And then I found this Russian webcam chick, Svetlana

And then I'll put it at the very bottom of a trash can.

And then just, like, tie 'em together with floss. It's no big deal.

And then once every six months for the next ten years.

And then the laws started to change, so now we have

And then we drove here.

And then we landed at the airport.

And then we rented a car.

And then what? I wear them?

And then you jacked off in front of his corpse.

And then you sang!

And there'll be flames coming out of

And there's only one person to blame.

And these are decaf, right?

And these days, I get all the affection I need from Jay.

And they're in a nest. A hairy nest.

And this is locked science?

And this is the room where I keep all the bugs.

And those thin polar bears aren't gonna be very happy about anything!

And together...

And totally stoked to be riding your crimson wave.

And tried to make him into a completely different person?

And very gratifying information to tell you.

And watch them break down a farmers market?

And we had this cinnamon stick with cooked spaghetti

And we shall select two to french.

And we'll never be friends again!

And we're back! [sighs]

And we're out.

And what a dicking it was!

And what's with all those stupid pins?

And when I feel anxious, you know what I do?

And when you die, no one will care.

And when you die, this is what they're gonna say.

And when you turn around to wash your hands in that weird tin basin,

And where's his pocket square?

And where's Nick?

And while I have you, the NRA wants to reboot Toy Story, but with guns.

And who knows, if you'd fucked me right, we might have all lived.

And why did you make fun of my dope hats?

And why is Berman still here if his brother's dead?

And why should they?

And with me now is the young woman who started it all, Devin LeSeven.

And with your feet too.

And without consulting Natalie,

And worst of all, they've been depriving you of your own culture.

And yeah, we're younger, but we're learning.

And you can't have both,

And you didn't tell me? Why?

And you ended up peeing in me?

And you got the heart of a champion.

And you gotta put your pussy in a USB port.

And you know what?

And you know what? I do not like your tone.

And you might get to see Alec Baldwin punch a hot dog vendor.

And you said, quote, "Let's circle back"?

And you smell better,

And you squandered your potential. Shabbat Shalom!"

And you sure as fuck... Yeah, I said the f word!

And you write manifestos like a small dicked maniac.

And you!

And you'll make some other kid as happy as you've made me.

And you're a banana with peanut butter on its ass!

And you're gonna meet so many amazing young women.

And you're just hooking up with some random asshole

And you're lying to everyone, and so you're going to have to remember

And you're making it fucking gross! Ugh!

And you're never getting dinner.

And you're Nick Birch.

And your bedroom door is wide open.

And your father was killed.

And your news media's the fucking spoon, innit?

And your pleasure.

And yours is a bald, little piglet.

And zoom zoom to the cheese.

And, Missy, I embraced all parts of myself.

And, oh, he's got a stylish friend.

And, on a personal note,

And, uh... And so now I'm just, like, in massive agony.

And, um, a little tip. If you tell the lunch lady you're diabetic,

And... we're back.

Andrew 3000, my only friend.

Andrew 3000, pack my Ohyeah.

Andrew Jr., this is Nick Starr.

Andrew Kent. Yeah.

Andrew, did you just slap me in the face?

Andrew, I think he's getting bigger.

Andrew, I wish I could help you feel better. [gasps]

Andrew, I work with many loathsome creeps, but none as consistently wretched as you.

Andrew, is that you? Are you okay?

Andrew, is that you? You look disturbingly like your father.

Andrew, let's get the fuck out of here.

Andrew, my childhood friend.

Andrew, out of the way!

Andrew, shut the fuck up and untie me.

Andrew, stop quivering! I can hear you downstairs!

Andrew, this kid's likable. I like him.

Andrew, you should be taking notes.

Andrew, you stay away from your cousin, you pervert.

Andrew, you useless sack of nothing. I'm proud of you!

Andrew?

Andrew's gonna tell everyone at school what a loser you are!

Andrew's gonna tell Seth that I'm a bad guy.

Andy likey.

Another great show, Mr. Starr.

Anxiety is that feeling we get inside that there's danger all around us.

Anxiety mosquito?

Anyway, I call because I assume you heard the terrible news.

Anyway, I just, uh, got you guys a goodbye present.

Anyway, I'll show it to you. It's on my phone.

Anyway, we did do an amazing job, though, didn't we?

Anyway, you wanna go see the bird, maybe?

Are these getting thicker?

Are they putting Miles Teller to sleep?

Are we moving closer to each other?

Are you fucking kidding? "Seventh grade honeys"?

Are you getting a boner?

Are you gonna kill me?

Are you here to tell me I'm butch or ask me what my crotch looks like?

Are you holding? Do you have any on you? I need some.

Are you insane?

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding? You're like a hot, sexy cougar.

Are you saying I'm bad at fingering?

Are you serious?

Are you Suge Knight?

Are you sure? What about this one?

Are you, like, alone all the time?

Are you, like, breaking up with me right now?

Aren't you excited for special bake time with Mommy?

Aren't you gonna try the Glouberman method?

As a family.

As God as my witness, I'm gonna wear him like a Ring Pop.

As he does in a boardroom at Disney?

As I go live all day and answer questions from literally anyone.

As long as there's an eighth grader present,

As the world explodes from global warming!

As, like, friendskis?

Ask her how those boys got pizza.

At 11 p.m. while he was refilling a Powerade bottle with tap water.

At a party just like this.

At least you got rid of Tito, that anxiety mosquito.

At your service, my liege.

Attendance required.

Aw, congratulations, Nick.

Aw, I'm happy for you, Jay, but I'm sad for me.

Aw, Jessi, that's all you got?

Aw, thanks, Missy.

Aw, this sucks. All the girls in our grade are taken.

Aw, well, thanks for watching.

Aw, you know what helps me study?

Aw. Thank you.

Aww, are you still ghosting him?

Aww, but my crown jewels are still getting polished.

Aww, give me a hug.

Aww, Matt. Why don't you sing a song about it?

Aww, nine pounds, six ounces,  22 inches long.

Aww, shit, you got an anxito now?

Aww, that poor girl.

Aww, the second one's a totally different color.

Aww, throw's only as good as the catch, Nickydoodle.

Aww. Bye, Mark.

Aww. Even the counselors are calling me "Soup"?

Aww. Thanks, Jay, you're cool, too.

Ay! [groans]

Babe, don't interrupt me while I'm creating.

Babe, hark!

Babe, I don't keep money at my house because my brothers burn it!

Babe, if magic has taught me anything,

Babe, it's gonna be fun.

Babe, just the sound of your voice makes me horny.

Babe, my mom took my allowance to pay for her boyfriend's Invisalign.

Babe, totally. But, like, how?

Babe, what if we... snuck in?

Basically. Except when my brothers drop by and fart in my mouth.

Because he tried to kiss her!

Because I am a doctor, not his girlfriend.

Because I am the profound, but never profane, comedian Sinbad.

Because I wouldn't give him a hand job.

Because I... I just know.

Because I'm older than I normally should be.

Because if we don't, then the terrorists win.

Because if you can't hook up on the last night of camp,

Because of all the fucking boys  in her year.

Because of the movie. With Jack.

Because of the sacrifices of your gay forefathers.

Because she wouldn't give him a hand job.

Because you fill the role as the cool Black kid

Because you have bad friends and you can't count on anyone?

Because you have differences that are not able to be reconciled.

Because you have officially entered my kingdom.

Because you jerked off willy nilly?

Because you're weak and vulnerable.

Because, Lumphump311,

Because... I'm gay.

Before you even told me what it was for?

Behold! A ghastly creature encroaches. [grunts]

Being grateful does feel surprisingly good.

Besides, I don't believe anyone should say it.

Best summer of our lives.

Best... [imitates gunfire]

Big ass mouth, stupid fucking forehead.

Bill Maher has, like, no female writers.

Bottom line, if you don't dump your grump soon,

Boy, it is beautiful.

Boy, oh, boy. That last episode, the one that took place in the future,

Boy, that was a big one. [chuckles]

Breaker, breaker, one nine, I just came again.

Breaker, breaker, one nine. We've got a southbound climax

Bridgeton Middle.

Bring it on, lady!

Brittany's such a busted bitch.

Bunch of pricks.

Burgers and coffee? You sure that's the move, captain?

But Aiden and I aren't really talking right now.

But another one says "Comcast."

But at least I've come out unscathed.

But can I just get some credit for shitting in a cup

But can I use "knuckle shuffle on your piss pump"?

But divorce is no laughing matter.

But do I even want Carlo to get clean?

But do I stop? No!

But don't worry, I hear it's more of a light sear.

But don't worry, I'm in good hands.

But enough about me, what about you?

But first, a word from our sponsor.

But first, I must show my big fat stomach finger to this horse.

But first, I'm meant to introduce you to a new camper.

But have you noticed how shiny Greer's hair is?

But he can't get his hot dog suit off?

But he's the coolest boy in school.

But he's working on it.

But her talent lies with songwriting.

But how does this thing, like, even work?

But I am intrigued.

But I can only bring one person, and I wanna bring you.

But I didn't say "I love you" back because, as history has proven,

But I do agree that men are garbage.

But I feel bad for the kid.

But I full on painted the inside of my jeans while I was fingering you.

But I have a way for you and I to survive.

But I just couldn't say "I love you."

But I just don't feel like passing the so called day

But I just don't think two boys should be "baking" together.

But I put my short shorts, black socks and sandals on just like you,

But I still have this nagging feeling

But I think she saw my dirty texts  with Aiden.

But I will say Nick's got a dark fuckin' heart

But I'd say it's really about seeing other people's points of view, and

But I'll try to do better with your Michael Angelo situation.

But I'm actually, spoiler alert,

But I'm always grateful for a little pussy.

But I'm just gonna bend over

But I'm kinda the guy who gets to make those jokes around here.

But I'm not because I am at work.

But I'm not going anywhere, Jessi.

But if I ask you what to do,

But if I was to do it, like, do you have any advice?

But if you stayed, we could suffer together

But if you want us to help you...

But is that even possible?

But it did get me thinking...

But it is our show, so...

But it might just be the sheer weight of your dad's balls.

But it was hilarious.

But it's never come out like that.

But it's okay, I love you, baby. I can stay for math.

But it's the last night. If it doesn't work out, who cares?

But it's the only way to get my skis off.

But let me just say, I missed you so much!

But losing you was the biggest.

But math is not my thing.

But Mommy lets us lick the spoon.

But most importantly, he's really helped me with my anxiety.

But next time, please communicate your appreciation through text

But no, no! It it it's because you are so...

But not about my soft dick, you wretched fucking moron.

But not right now, because it's time to play our next game...

But now I wanna tear out his spine and shove it up my ass.

But now I'm on a plane?

But now they're making fun of your stench.

But on the bright side,

But please be nice to me.

But practically speaking, I don't think I have enough hair.

But she can't break up with Michael Angelo.

But Sir Jay, he's not like the others.

But so are you.

But that doesn't mean you leave Dad's coffin festering in a parking lot...

But that's evil future Nick.

But the album she put out after was so slay queen.

But the blood! The screams! The humanity!

But the disgustingly rich took it over,

But the other one sings real nice. Make my titties pop out.

But the second cup we're gonna hide up in the rafters.

But then I don't get to, like, you know, uh... finish?

But then I found this forum for trans kids.

But then in 1969, sexy year, woo woo...

But then it turns out the clown is really Nick Starr.

But then my mom started listening to Lady Gaga, and sadly,

But then we'd have to get into that homework you don't understand.

But there is a space ark

But there were ravioli inside

But they ain't gotta know shit about Jodeci.

But they felt so real.

But this is a real girl with a real vagina.

But this is.

But we decided to go in a different direction.

But we have to, Steve.

But we were back first!

But we're not allowed to have coffee.

But what about everybody else?

But what about interviewing to get into college?

But what if he's not?

But when I started going through puberty, it was like this monster showed up.

But where Zaide's going, he doesn't need that pocket square.

But yeah, Misha's... you know…

But you and Aiden aren't hand jobbing.

But you better shower quick. Somebody could show up at any moment.

But you can still bust open my biscuit once in a while.

But you didn't have us.

But you know, I don't think that's the best way

But you never talked to any girls, and most specifically me,

But you want to,

But you wanted an appearance fee, and, you know, we couldn't afford it.

But you were in a terrible accident,

But you, Andrew, can't make out with us.

But you're a part of me.

But you're talking about my best friends, and it doesn't seem positive.

But you've got us.

But, hey, maybe we should take the pressure off?

But, Jay, that's okay.

But, like, ultimately, what's wrong with Jay?

But, like, what if I put my heart out on the so called symbolic limb

But, like, when you actually think  about it...

But, my queen, if you shut thyself off, you've already sealed thy fate.

But, Nick, it's been nice to look into your dead eyes

But, Nick, this is who you are,

But, Nick, what about your wedding to Danielle Aykroyd?

But, uh... what about, um...

But, you know, I think I just need to go home, um, tonight.

But... [sighs]

By sitting in a room with you and apologizing for my immense privilege?

By terraforming the moon,

By the friends you've gained?

By the way, ooh la la, "middle class"!

By warming up some bread and putting butter on it.

Bye bye. Don't come in. [laughs]

Bye, Jessi. You and me are the same now!

Bye, sweetie. Don't try anything.

Bye! I love you! I'll see you in 11 hours!

Caitlin, this is the one and only Jessi Glaser.

Caleb, do you know where Coach Steve is?

Can I ask, what are you?

Can I put that on the flyer I force  on people in Times Square?

Can you also bring my shampoo?

Can you believe they did a whole museum

Can you do a small circle? Faster! Faster!

Can you draw me with a microphone?

Can you hear me? Oh, God, no.

Can you help me open my locker?

Can you two please stop? I'm trying to study.

Can't get my damn water skis off.

Can't wait to, uh, go back and continue to kill it.

Can't wait. Cheers to that.

Can't you tell? That's why I shaved off half my hair.

Cannonball!

Cantor Dina?

Careful! I don't know what "siddiddity" means,

Carlo is opening early for me.

Cause of death: Jessi Glaser.

Celeste, go back to sleep.

Chaos reigns!

Charming people is, like, the one thing I'm actually good at.

Check it out, its belly is full of gas,

Choking on a peach pit.

Ciao, family. My Uber Select is here.

Circle a date on the calendar six months from now,

Climate change is a hoax! Math is a lie!

Clip clop! I'm a little show pony.

Cloaca. That's a beautiful name for... a baby, or any

Clot. Excuse me.

Clumps of peanut butter with pretzels inside!

Clyde, I live to burgle.

Cola and potato chips rah rah at the baseball match type of thing.

Color me intrigued, but in actuality,

Come on in, guys! The water's piping hot and slick as shit!

Come on with the Mets, Jets, Knicks and Rangers already!

Come on, baby. You gotta stop that blood.

Come on, everybody, get on the big, yellow car.

Come on, it's just a casual conversation.

Come on, Jessi. Gratitude, Gratitoad.

Come on, say it like you want a dick in your hand.

Come on, Seth, let's get outta here before I throw up,

Come on, tell him. Tell him how gay you are.

Come on, you're a man!

Come on! Not Kitty, too.

Come on! We gotta get you back inside your body.

Coming up next, I murder you.

Competing against the adults, not the kids.

Complex.

Congratulations on your banana deal.

Congratulations on your banana deal...

Congratulations on your menstruations, Jessi!

Connie, I gotta get outta here. I don't want everyone looking at my dick.

Considering how busy you were butt fucking Matthew and Aiden.

Cool reference, cool vibe, Andrew.

Could you imagine that, Jessi? A painful cramp in your stomach?

Could you just shut up and be horny? Isn't that your job?

Countdown to Death!

Cowabung hole!

Cum gutters?

Cum! I'm going to miss eating their cum.

Cut it off short! Then you'll get all the candy.

Cutting his spaghetti with a fork and knife.

Cyrus Byrus?

Dad, are you okay?

Dad. Dad!

Dad's shower only has a bar of Irish Spring,

Daily reminder:  I have this switch you can flip,

Damn right!

Damn! Why are you being such a downer, kid?

Damn.

Danielle... Aykroyd.

Danny and Jerry Lynch, tell us why you're here.

Death is completely random and uncontrollable.

Death lurks around every corner.

Departing from Shkreli International Airport.

Despairing, I know! We should stop.

Devin was right about you!

Devin's been on here talking hella shit, and you know what?

Devon is divorcing Devin. It's, like, really, really sad!

Devon is divorcing you

Devon isn't set to Nick Cannon.

Devon, focus!

Diane. Elliot.

Did Dido do that?

Did I see a setting that says "pretzels"?

Did I wet the bed?

Did I? Did I? Dido? What happened to Dido?

Did we do ayahuasca at a KKK benefit?

Did you forget that we were fine young cannibals?

Did you fucking cheat on me with your exes?

Did you go get high?

Did you hear, uh, about the dead bird in the woods?

Did you just think of that, or is that a famous joke?

Did you know all those people died on my birthday?

Did you meesh me?

Did you see me, Jessi? Going by? When Nick was ignoring you?

Didn't you read the detailed email from my mom, you bald fuck?

Dismount. Kickstand.

Ditto.

Divvy up the lotto tickets and move to separate parts of Yonkers!

DJ Pendejo here,

Do I detect an accent, or are you just British to see me?

Do not ask me about it.

Do something, A 3! Fly out of here!

Do this for me. Yoidle your doidle in my honor.

Do you and your little braids have something to say?

Do you by any chance accept close up magic tricks in lieu of payment?

Do you hate me?

Do you hate Natalie because she's trans?

Do you have to go to the bathroom, Rick?

Do you hear how crazy that sounds?

Do you know this is the longest conversation we've ever had?

Do you like her?

Do you like it?

Do you like my swim trunks?

Do you love her so much you hate everyone else?

Do you pee standing up or lying down?

Do you prefer sweet potato pie  or pumpkin pie?

Do you remember when Aunt Lydia deep fried the Thanksgiving turkey?

Do you remember when her gums got infected,

Do you want the cigar? Or...

Do you, Nicky?

Do you, uh, wanna go first, and I'll just hang back

Do you... [grunts]

Doctor, am I going to die?

Doctor, that does not sound good.

Does this mean that all the guys are gonna expect hand jobs now?

Don't call me "ma'am." I'm not an old lady!

Don't come any closer, you stupid sack of crap!

Don't contact me on my birthday. I'm not rooting for you.

Don't even worry about it. I got you.