Mystery, Alaska (1999) Edit

A committee of town fathers decides who plays and by what rules.

A couple of short rights knocks the helmet off. Another one. Are they gonna get tired?

A huge save by Holt!

A little further up my ass, please?

A sense of giving back to the place where I grew up.

After all, I am the father of this child.

After you, Skank.

Against a Cinderella team from the tiny town of Mystery, Alaska.

Ah! Whoo! You can't catch me!

All I did was suggest we meet, and then he pulled out a gun.

All I've got...

All right, folks. Gotta go.

All right, just follow the light.

All right, well, we're not the Partridge Family.

All right!

All right? It isn't exactly rocket surgery.

All right.

All right. Let's go again.

All the hoopla is over.

All the words are crossed out.

All we know is they have poor dental health and can skate like the wind.

Along the boards, you gotta fight for it!

Amends.

And a couple of guys can really shoot the puck.

And all of you, and all the TV commentators...

And another Ranger line comes back warm from the locker room.

And back comes Mystery. Birdie Burns with Biebe.

And Banks wins it. Biebe carries.

And don't kid yourself. The New York Rangers are taking this game personal.

And hard! He stamps the captain into the screen!

And having Chuck Fuck as our liaison with the network doesn't help.

And he got his wings trimmed right there, man.

And he just missed it!

And he never said it like it was something we should have to apologize for.

And he rips the shot over Gainer's glove!

And here come the boys of winter.

And here come the red, white and blue.

And here comes Mystery. Let's see how they work the puck.

And here they come, five on four!

And I can't help it if it impressed the hell out of you.

And I would step off that train and say,

And impanel Monday.

And isn't it exciting for Charlie...

And isn't it exciting for Charlie...

And it's kind of in keeping with the whole idea, don't you think?

And it's Mystery two and the Rangers zero.

And it's not fair to the Saturday game.

And joining me right now is hockey legend Donnie Shulzhoffer...

And Mystery comes streaking back the other way.

And now the New York Rangers want to come.

And now, 43 seconds to play.

And now, to sing the National Anthem, the one,

And Phil, you don't see a guy just lie down in front of a Billy Wasson...

And Silvie Walker repeated it to Sarah Heinz.

And that smile is not for me.

And that ties it up at two.

And that'll keep the blade flat on the ice.

And the captain is the town sheriff.

And the helicopter was...

And the hick ass fucker shoots my foot off! Cock fucking shit!

And the Native Americans who do live here call themselves Inuit, shark meat.

And the network figures a 14 share, minimum.

And the Rangers are finally on the board.

And the size of this ice surface could be an equalizer for the Mystery team.

And the Sports Broadcasting Corporation,

And then the rest of your lives.

And then there's Connor Banks.

And there's the pass.

And two time Stanley Cup winner, Phil Esposito.

And we can skate.

And we further order Price World to pay damages...

And we need you to start playing like a big guy.

And when you get the puck, you don't pass.

And, as women reporters go, I find you supple.

And, uh,

And, uh, maybe sometimes it's a little too connected to how well we play hockey,

And...

And...

Anyway, I'm gonna do everything I can to win this game...

Appears to be, uh, well fed.

Apuck shot to... Shoots and he scores!

Are you okay? Let me see. Are you all right?

Are you sure?

Arrest him for what?

As it has in so many communities across this country.

As mayor of Mystery, Alaska,

As soon as you cross the blue line,

As the puck comes off the ice, the left wing will always drop back.

At this time I'd be asking the court to dismiss the charges...

Aw, shit!

Baby son.

Back into the slot, shot, scores!

Back off! Back off!

Back over the blue line. And it's intercepted!

Back to Billy Wasson. He moves up and gives back toJackson.

Back to Wasson, wide open. Shoots... What a save by Holt!

Back to Wasson. He winds for the shot. Marden drops to block.

Bailey!

Bailey! Bailey!

Balls to the walls, huh?

Banks wins the draw. Over to Marden, up toward Burns.

Because every time he met somebody he liked,

Because he loved this place.

Because somebody repeated what was said in the locker room.

Because they can't play.

Because they're the two most fun things in cold weather.

Bedroom. Morning. Expressive. Tender.

Before we get into that,

Besides slave over a hot stove, rub my fat husband's feet,

Besides, if they're going to be doing a profile on the town,

Better not hear your grades are dropping off.

Between the warm dressing room.

Biebe back to get it. Neskorami on the porch.

Biebe scores off a great pass from Birdie Burns.

Biebe slowing it down behind the net.

Biebe. Banks. One timer! Scores!

Biebe's got it! Here comes Connor Banks!

Big doings we've got going here in Mystery these days, huh?

Birdie Burns is caught trying to do it all by himself...

Birdie. You don't pass, you sit.

Black ice, wide open surface, it's all about skating.

Blow it out your ass.

Boards, blue lines, referees.

Boards, offsides, two line passing.

Bobby Michan goes in at goal.

Both to Binghamton, huh? Two way contracts.

Brian!

Brought to you live by the National Hockey League...

Bullshit!

Burns lays it behind the net to Weeks.

Burns shooting!

But also, it's minus ten outside.

But I really do not need you taking his side.

But I'm telling you, some pretty good goals. I'm loving these kids.

But I've always thought you were a bit of a prick.

But next toJudge Fuck Nut, you know most about hockey.

But on the pond,

But our reputation has been hurt.

But the article sparked some kind of brainstorm at the NHL.

But the Rangers continue to control.

But the Rangers control the puck.

But we do have our pride.

But what needs to be decided first is, do we want this game?

But you have your star center back.

But... our boys on a pond?

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Camera three, stay off the Rangers. They look miserable.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Can't we just enjoy the attention tonight?

Cangrapoole along the boards. Lane pitches, and the puck squirts free.

Carries out of his own zone.

Charlie fuckin' Danner!

Charlie. You've been smiling a little more.

Coach Higgins must have had one of his screaming fits...

Cock fucking suck ass fucker!

Come on, Birdie!

Come on, boys. Cover it!

Come on, boys. Let's move it.

Come on, guys!

Come on, guys. Let's start gettin' our heads into it.

Come on, let's go!

Come on, this is your puck!

Come on, Tree. Let's go, baby. Come on, Galin. Let's go now.

Come on, you guys! Pick 'em up!

Come on! It's not over! Mystery! Mystery!

Come on! One more! One more!

Come on! Pull it off!

Come on.

Come on. Pass it off.

Coming!

Community pride.

Connolly trailing. Drop, pass, shot.

Connolly trails. He has it in his sights.

Connor Banks and a one timer from Biebe! Wow!

Connor, trust me. They're not gonna lock up our leading scorer.

Could we make a game of it?

Dear Abby.

Defensemen...

Depends on rules.

Did he say anything, Mr. Walsh?

Did it appear to ricochet off a wheelbarrow?

Did you say that, Mr. Walsh?

Did you say,

Did you see your daddy out there?

Different story in the second period.

Dig splinters out of my ass that I get while sitting around pining for you?

Do I look impressed?

Do I look like I'm okay? The fucker shot me!

Do not give these guys too much respect.

Do you know where a guy can get a rub and a tug around here?

Do you like massages?

Do you understand me?

Don't be saying anything to me.

Don't bring the Yankees.

Don't panic. Don't panic.

Don't rush the shot. Three men across the blue line.

Don't talk to me about betrayal.

Don't tell me you're fine.

Don't worry. I didn't come here to sleep with you.

Don't you ever wish you lived in a town that had a museum...

Donna Biebe, wife of captain John Biebe.

Donna's inside, Johnny.

Donnie, let's get right to it.

Donnie, the Mystery boys... two unanswered goals in the first period.

Down the borders with Lane checkingJackson around the net.

Eskimo soup.

Ever since he came back...

Every ex player turned coach says they prefer coaching to playing.

Everybody here always says on a pond, nobody beats us, right? Nobody.

Everybody in!

Evidently, the Ranger players...

Excellent. Back to you.

Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.

Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.

Except you wonder what it would be like with him...

Face off at the Mystery blue line.

Face off on the Rangers'end. Rangers get the draw.

Fancy.

Fat men don't shovel, Bailey.

Filed some kind of grievance with the players' union,

Finally, Holt controls the rebound.

Fine. Take me in, John. I don't care.

Five unanswered goals, and the Rangers are steamrolling.

Flying in here on a helicopter,

For dead Bailey,

For God's sakes.

For Mystery,

For you.

Forget about that fucking circus out there.

Forty three seconds,

Forty three seconds. You own that time.

Fraud.

From right wing to right point, down low to Birdie Burns.

Fuck 'em, Johnny. Fuck 'em.

Fuck it.

Fuck me!

Fuck!

Fuckin' moron.

Fuckin' wind chill. This ain't right.

Galin knocks the puck to brother Ben and carries it into the zone.

Game's back on?

Geez.

Geez.

Get away! Get away!

Get it out, guys! Get it out!

Get somebody in here now!

Getting his article published in Sports Illustrated?

Give me that, at least.

Go ahead.

Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Let's go!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Goddamn, John, what do I gotta do?

Good game! Good game!

Good night.

Good. Good.

Good. The Rangers are starting to breathe through their mouths.

Good. Twist it! Yeah, that helps.

Great game, Judge.

Great game, son.

Great pass! Great pass!

Great save, Holt. Come on, guys.

Guys, it ain't my birthday.

Guys! It's just a name, you know?

Hang on. Hang on. " Perfecting the art of the pass is John Biebe,

Has brought one of his lumberjack players with him...

Have a good game today.

Have been going around saying that this is a farce...

Have fun in jail, asshole!

Have you done this before?

He could have left if he wanted, but he stayed.

He dishes it around behind the net forJohn Biebe.

He don't make a million bucks a year!

He heard it in the locker room, Dad.

He hit a wheelbarrow. It ricocheted.

He kind of embellished a little.

He leads left, goes right, shoots... Scores!

He loves it.

He loves the game of hockey!

He moves it around to Yeaton. Swings a pass on the take to Lovulette.

He moves it to Wasson, over to Robertson.

He never made the Saturday game.

He plays to play.

He said it was...

He shoots. He scores!

He shoots... Scores!

He skates to skate!

He takes it wide and gains the Mystery zone.

He threatened to shoot me if I didn't leave the premises, and then he shot me.

He won.

He... scores!

He's a...

He's always been so smart, that Charlie. I knew when he left he'd make it big.

He's back up and rejoins the play.

He's gone on the breakaway. This could really put Mystery away.

He's got a shot!

He's got Banks on the wing. Pass to the middle. Robertson catches it.

He's got the fans into this one early, Sam.

He's having a heart attack! Somebody help him!

He's not breathing!

Heads up!

Hello. I'm Doug McLeod, and with me is NHL Hall of Famer...

Here comes Burns, working for a shot. He's gonna shoot.

Here comes Mystery. Banks trying to get free.

Here comes the odd man rush. It is Ben and Galin.

Here comes Weeks. He is behind the advance.

Here he comes.

Here we go at center ice.

Here we go. Let's play hockey.

Here.

Here's what I want. One man in, wings on wings.

Hey, fuck you!

Hey, guys, you are not gonna believe this.

Hey, he promised something that he couldn't deliver.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a town meeting.

Hey, hey. That's enough.

Hey, Johnny!

Hey, listen, buddy.

Hey, Mike.

Hey, Sarah, sorry to be calling on you so late, but have you heard?

Hey, that one is too small, eh?

Hey, we're on the air.

Hey!

Hey. I'm goin' on a piss later. You wanna join me?

Hey. What did you say?

Hi, Bailey.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. God, you look good.

High sticking, fuck shit!

His heart would grow a little.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hockey is played at both ends of the ice.

Holt comes out and sheriff's deputy...

Holt stood on his head. I've never seen a save like that!

Honey.

Hooked by Neskorami, Marden goes down.

How about a quick rattle?

How can you look this good? What do you have, like nine children now?

How is your husband, anyway?

How's Donna doing? Does she miss me?

Huh?

Huh?

Huh? This town is hockey, hockey, hockey, right?

Human. "

I ain't sheriffin'. I'm just a teammate concerned for his freedom.

I beg your pardon?

I bet this is a big accomplishment for him.

I better check on Mike.

I brought 'em here. Why don't I get a parade?

I brought the salts, Dad.

I came to see your husband.

I can't feel my fingers.

I come bearing the New York Rangers.

I didn't even get the condom on.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

I didn't think she was gonna say anything.

I don't care how fast a skater you are, if you don't play this game...

I don't care. I'm about to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

I don't exactly trust Chuckie boy.

I don't know how to coach.

I don't know where else to do it.

I don't wanna hear another word about a hockey game. We talked about this.

I don't wanna lose you toJody Lange just 'cause she gives.

I don't want a trial now. Suppose I lose? I get jail, I miss the game.

I don't want to hit you, Johnny.

I don't... I don't want you to feel bad about that either,

I feel really bad for these boys, Jimmy. I really do.

I figure, what the hell. I ain't that attractive.

I got a condom too.

I got it. Look. It's three pages with pictures and profiles.

I gotta go.

I hate you bastards! I hate you all!

I have a toy pony. He takes big shits.

I just wanted to say,

I know that your being mayor and all,

I know! She's supposed to be this shy girl.

I love this town, too, John.

I love you.

I love you.

I make a business call. I give him my card.

I mean, he's a grocery clerk, for crying out loud.

I mean, what else do I have to do, really,

I mean, you paid for the whole stick.

I need a captain on the ice.

I never chose to stay. I chose you.

I never would've said that to her face.

I play hockey and I fornicate...

I see.

I should arrest him. That's what I should do.

I suggest we cling to both.

I suppose you have to let them sell it. I suppose.

I thank God every day I gave birth to boys.

I think we should celebrate you making the team.

I thought, um...

I want to adopt them. How's that?

I want to clean them up and raise them as my own.

I want to keep the score close. As long as it's not a rout, we go home winners.

I want you to meet the folks from the network.

I was wondering.

I, uh,

I'd like to call up here someone we all know and...

I'll be back in a couple of months.

I'll beat 'em.

I'll play those Rangers.

I'll probably just end up a drunk, like my dad.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

I'll vaccinate her quick, get home for an early sack, beat what's left of the bishop.

I'm a premature ejaculator.

I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this.

I'm entitled to know what's going on under this roof.

I'm fine, Donna.

I'm gonna extend a little invitation to the New York Rangers!

I'm gonna say goodbye to Connor.

I'm I'm sorry. I must have...

I'm not beaten!

I'm not for it at any price.

I'm not going to the New York Rangers right away.

I'm not gonna leave you on account of not having sex.

I'm not in the mood, Mr. Pruitt.

I'm notJohnny! I'm a New York Ranger!

I'm really sorry, Scott. I don't... I don't even...

I'm sick. Oh, God, I'm sick. Oh, God.

I'm slow in the feet?

I'm sorry for only wanting to play hockey, and I'm sorry that you never played...

I'm sorry I don't feel like goin' to college and getting some degree.

I'm sure he'd be happy to repeat it.

I'm tellin' you, Tree, there's rumors.

I'm telling you, she got her February fat now in the second week in December.

I've had a chance to see the Mystery team practice. They skate fast,

I've lost my appetite.

If I'm coaching,

If nothing else, it's good for morale.

If Price World did come here...

If they're gonna be pouring a lot of money into it,

If this game happens, it's only 32 days away.

If we're gonna make a game of it, it should be you.

If you all settle down, we'll, uh, we'll try to answer all your questions.

If you lose a puck...

Implied third party contract too.

In a world perpetually covered with ice and snow.

In fact, that's what we're calling the team: The Mystery Eskimos.

In from Flin Flon, Manitoba.

In front of the net, you don't got dinky do.

In the amount of $42,000.

In the Saturday game, but I would think there are bigger tragedies in life!

Inuit, Eskimo... whatever. Just zero in on faces that look local.

Is enough in life.

Is it legal to shoot in the vicinity of people in this town?

Is that legal? That's not legal.

Is the notion that being adored by your husband...

Isolated by rugged mountains and vast glaciers,

It is a two man hockey game right here!

It is not just a random smile, Donna.

It is one on one with Sam Gainer.

It might be broken.

It might help if Mystery had a face there.

It was 'cause of your sister's breasts. They're perky.

It will be.

It won't be, John.

It would threaten to put every merchant in this town out of business,

It... Maybe. So what?

It's a big gimmick. I mean, Mr. Pruitt himself...

It's a cheap stunt, Your Honor, and everybody knows that.

It's a hockey game.

It's a pleasure to welcome a famous TV personality.

It's a Rockewellian Christmas up here...

It's a shooting gallery out there!

It's a weekly ritual celebration. "

It's about our...

It's as good as a commercial.

It's beautiful, honey.

It's better. You're in the Saturday game!

It's even bigger than the Olympic rinks.

It's five man, not four. It's complicated.

It's great. It's something, actually.

It's It's in my brief.

It's keeping the kids awake. Come on.

It's me that embarrasses you, isn't it?

It's not that easy!

It's okay, Stevie.

It's payback time, and that one's for Stevie Weeks.

It's really starting to unravel for Mystery.

It's the Great Alaskan Hockey Rush...

It's two tenths below zero. The committee won't be happy.

It's your time. Am I right?

Jackson controls again. Over to King.

Jackson dumps Banks and gets the draw.

Jesus Christ, Scott! Ow!

Jesus!

Jesus! Oh, man!

Jimmy, you gotta love these kids. God knows I do.

Joey!

John Biebe is the anchor, for God's sakes!

John, can we win?

John, everyone in this goddamn town peeks over the snowbank and wonders.

John, excuse me, but this game is gonna be played on a pond.

John, I'm asking you as mayor of the town.

John, that was high school.

John?

John?

John?

John.

Johnny, I heard.

Judge turn you down?

Judge,

Just 'cause I haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than six weeks...

Just like that, Tree.

Just read it.

Keep reading.

Knock it off. That'll be enough.

L I could go down as fast as I come up.

L... Does this mean we're done?

Let me know, huh?

Let's go, guys! Let's do this!

Let's go, guys. Let's go!

Let's go, guys. Three on three.

Let's go!

Let's go! Let's move!

Let's have some order, for God's sakes! John.

Let's play hockey.

Let's rock, boys. Let's get it going!

Like Connor says, that Weeks kid, he's got jump.

Like this?

Like we said, folks, this is a small town.

Listen to this.

Little Richard, I'm from Mystery.

Little Richard.

Look around. Look at yourselves.

Look at the passing here!

Look for Burns to pull their goalie.

Look out!

Look out! Yeaton rips the head off him!

Look, it's not fair to the Weeks boy to keep him back.

Look, John, these are the developments.

Look, the Alaskans have never taken on a team of this size and skill before, okay?

Look, think about it.

Look. Christmas is a lonely day for a guy to be choking his own chicken.

Love to stay, but, uh, gotta go.

Love. Patience.

Madly.

Making these fat sounds.

Man, he's lucky to get out of there alive.

Margie has relatives in Waterville, Maine.

Marla.

Maximum.

May I?

Mmm!

Money.

Montreal had its rocket. Mystery has its cruise missile!"

More potatoes?

Move it, Stevie!

Move it!

Move it!

Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!

Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!

Mr. Pruitt, I don't want to hear anything about Price World.

Mr. Pruitt? Are you all right?

Mr. Walsh, that bullet that struck you,

Much of its esteem from hockey.

My boy Mike once asked Bailey how he got to be so fat.

My own jimmy? You know what? Why don't you go plan a rummage sale...

My, uh...

Mystery gets on the board first,

Mystery gets the loose puck and heads the other way.

Mystery is giving everything they've got. This is great hockey.

Mystery is hoping the cold of night will stem this Ranger tide.

Mystery is rattled. They're running around like a house league.

Mystery! Mystery!

Mystery! Mystery!

Mystery's gonna keep their goalie on the bench.

N Now? Here?

Nervous?

Next time send me a bigger one.

Nice assist.

Nice game.

Nifty toe drag around Banks. Shoots! And a save by Holt.

Nipped in the bud.

No blood. Judge!

No, "Wow, nice helicopter"? No, " Hey, great article in Sports Illustrated"?

No, he came in the condom.

No, he passes the puck to Biebe! Shoots!

No, I don't think so, Steve. No one thought...

No, it's dry. It's dry.

No, it's not.

No, just over here. There you go. Over here. Come on.

No, no, no. Easy, son.

No, no, Shawnette.

No.

No.

No. Look.

Nobody thinks the Dallas Cowboys are actually cowboys.

Nobody told them it was just a show.

Not because other worlds weren't available to him.

Not that big.

Not the important ones.

Nothing in the basic agreement allows them...

Now Marden is slow to get up.

Now Mystery sets off on the power play in the Ranger zone.

Now send the kids out of the room.

Now Skank Marden carries out.

Now we're playing on a rink in a box...

Now Weeks takes it and carries it on down the wing.

Now, either you thought about that,

Now, hold on just one second.

Now, if we gain the zone, you get across the blue line, you dump.

Now, instead of spending these days off at home with their families,

Now, last night Skank took a shovel to the temple...

Now, nothing is definite.

Now, this is a little town that derives...

Objection, Your Honor.

Objection! Now, that question...

Of course he is.

Of course it's gonna be good. That's the whole point.

Oh, a Zamboni. Gettin' wet just thinking about it.

Oh, he's landing a couple of big ones, and so is Domi.

Oh, I... Clearly not.

Oh, I'm I'm... I'm sorry.

Oh, Jesus. Can't hold a stick.

Oh, man, I'm dying.

Oh, shit! Mother...

Oh, Skank!

Oh, Skank.

Oh, some celebrity.

Oh, that was lovely. It's a shame we weren't rolling for that.

Oh, uh...

Oh, wow.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! And a huge hit by Biebe!

Oh! What a hit!

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Oh...

Okay, hit me.

Okay, I think I've been pretty patient with this little jealousy thing.

Okay, Judge.

Okay, ready, five? Take five.

Okay, that's it! You're gone!

Okay, well, you got a chance to prove it now.

Okay? Are you a big guy?

Okay. All right. Okay.

On a standard ice rink, no, we don't come close.

On On his, uh, serpent.

On open ice.

On pure skating ability, the boys of Mystery, Alaska...

On the grounds of patriotism.

On the wing to Weeks. He gains the zone.

One of us is going down.

One step and he was gone.

Or someplace where brothers and sisters were off limits to each other sexually?

Or we can simply leave the decision to the committee, which I'm quite happy to do.

Or you didn't.

Our dignity and our illusions.

Our tourism might grow.

Our town is a big joke.

Outta here. Get out.

Over here! Whoo!

Ow! Jesus! What, did you put your finger in it?

Pass it out to the wing!

Pass the puck! Pass that puck! That a boy!

Pass! Damn!

People of Mystery, I give you...

Pick up the man in front! Pick him up!

Pick up your feet!

Pitting the New York Rangers...

Plenty of time! Plenty of time!

Plus we need new boards, lights, and they're sending us a Zamboni.

Plus, this may be an old lady talking,

Price World wants to come here,

Price World's not gonna come, Mom. We're not big enough, for God's sakes.

Push over!

Put a body in front of him!

Rangers go back to work now. Robertson to Wasson.

Rangers on another rush. Three on two, wide across the ice.

Rangers press as Mystery breaks out.

Rangers take their first lead of the game, three to two,

Rangers win again. Duffin chased into the Mystery zone.

Rangers win the draw. Back to Rory.

Rangers win the draw. Robertson for the empty net!

Ready four? Take four.

Really?

Relying on Charlie Danner's word.

Reputation? Price World tried to move up there, you opened fire.

Right here, Connor. Thanks. Hot, hot, hot!

Right.

Rival any team in the National Hockey League!"

Rules that keep everything bunched. It's a different kind of game.

Sarah Heinz.

Saturday after Saturday, for as long as anyone can remember.

Saved! Michan stacks the pads!

Say it!

Says he was aiming at a sack of Puppy Chow, trying to scare him.

Scores on demand. "

Scores!

Scott, I don't coach.

Scott, you got a Zamboni here in Mystery, Alaska.

Scott, you'll need him to play, right?

Scotty. Hey.

Second degree assault.

See? You're the big guy.

Seem like a monumental request.

Seriously, though. I mean, forget about me.

Shame they couldn't take Skank with them, huh?

She just smoked the hog, man. I wasn't myself.

She said as soon as Price World moved in,

She's riding me like a wet walrus,

Shit, they used to call you the Bear.

Shit!

Shit!

Shooting, passing, stick handling... The truth?

Simple.

Since we broke up in the 12th grade.

Six on five, with the empty net behind.

Skank Marden is a master of sticky sores... "

Skank Marden's been in this bed.

Skank, I'm sorry.

Skank, we're committing adultery. It's not like I threw in trust as a perk.

Skank, you in the middle.

Skating, barbecues, snow.

So I bring back the New York Rangers.

So that blocked shot must have really hurt, huh?

So that's what this is all about, Charlie?

So the puck carrier is always facing three defensemen.

So why'd you wanna come? You never wanna come when I plough.

So, uh, you two have already,

So, uh... Well, so did it?

So, who are you gonna get?

So, you're a producer, huh?

Somebody repeated to Silvie Walker,

Someone who's not surprised, Brian.

Son of a piss whore. Our town in Sports Illustrated.

Soon, it'll be you out there.

Sorry, Johnny.

Sorry.

Sports Illustrated, for God's sakes.

Stamina.

Starting to piss me off.

Stay high. All the way in, Stevie.

Stevie doesn't wanna sleep with me.

Stevie, how many fingers have I got? Hmm?

Stevie! Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!

Still sleepin'?

Stretch 'em out.

Sweetheart, I know your smiles.

Take care.

Take the sled, will ya? I wanna wait for the mail.