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Home > Mystery, Alaska (1999)
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Mystery, Alaska (1999)

Mystery, Alaska (1999)

Mystery, Alaska is a charming sports-comedy film released in 1999. Directed by Jay Roach and written by David E. Kelley, the movie takes the audience on a journey to the small, secluded town of Mystery, Alaska, where hockey is everything.

The plot revolves around a group of residents who gather every Saturday on the frozen lake to play hockey against each other. Their passion for the sport is unrivaled, and they dream of showcasing their skills against the best team in the National Hockey League (NHL).

The cast of Mystery, Alaska is brimming with talented actors who bring life and complexity to their characters. Russell Crowe shines as John Biebe, the town's favorite son and most skilled player. Biebe's journey is one of redemption and self-discovery as he fights to regain his place on the hometown team.

Burt Reynolds, in a memorable role, portrays the small-town judge turned hockey coach, Judge Walter Burns. Burns exudes charisma and wit as he leads the team through their trials and triumphs. The chemistry between Crowe and Reynolds is electric, creating some of the film's most memorable moments.

The supporting cast is equally impressive. Mary McCormack portrays Donna Biebe, John's wife, providing a strong and supportive presence. Colm Meaney delivers a standout performance as the charismatic and conniving town mayor, Mayor Scott R. Pitcher. Scott Grimes, meanwhile, captures hearts as the young and talented Stevie Weeks, delivering an endearing performance.

Mystery, Alaska is filled with heartwarming and often hilarious moments. The film beautifully encapsulates the spirit and camaraderie of small-town life, highlighting the importance of community and friendship. With its engaging story and well-written script, the movie strikes a perfect balance between comedy and drama.

The soundtrack of Mystery, Alaska plays a vital role in setting the tone for the film. Composed by John Ottman, the music perfectly captures the excitement and intensity of the hockey games. The soundtrack features exhilarating instrumentals that keep the viewers on the edge of their seats, emphasizing the importance of the sport in the town's collective psyche.

Whether you are a sports enthusiast or simply enjoy feel-good movies, Mystery, Alaska is sure to captivate you. The film's timeless themes of determination, loyalty, and the pursuit of dreams resonate with audiences of all ages. It reminds us that sometimes the most extraordinary things can happen in the most unexpected places.

To fully immerse yourself in the world of Mystery, Alaska, you can now experience the sounds of the film. Play and download the gripping soundtrack that accompanied the exhilarating hockey matches. Embrace the soaring instrumentals, and let the music transport you to the frozen lake where dreams were made and lives were forever changed.

Mystery, Alaska is a hidden gem that deserves more recognition. It captures the essence of small-town life and delivers a heartwarming story that will leave you inspired. So gather your friends and family, grab some popcorn, and experience the delightful tale of Mystery, Alaska.

Mystery Alaska Tundra SFX Library Kaiju Screams (Pacific Rim) Raven SFX Library Recreation SFX Rustling Bushes Mystery Date Advert Music Mystery Science Theater 3000 Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Mystery Men Mystery Team Mystery Train Mystery P.I. The New York Fortune Video… Mystery P.I. Lost in Los Angeles Video G… Mystery Mystery Case Files: Madame Fate Video Ga… Mystery Case Files Madame Fate Video Gam… Mystery Tales 2 The Spirit Mask Mystery… Mystery of Unicorn Castle: The Beastmast… Mystery SFX Mystery P.I. Stolen in San Francisco Vid… Mystery Case Files: Ravenhearst Video Ga… Mystery Quest Video Game Music Mystery of the Ancients Lockwood Manor V… Mystery P.I. The Lottery Ticket Video Ga…
A committee of town fathers decides who plays and by what rules.
A committee of town fathers decides who plays and by what rules.
A couple of short rights knocks the helmet off. Another one. Are they gonna get tired?
A couple of short rights knocks the helmet off. Another one. Are they gonna get tired?
A huge save by Holt!
A huge save by Holt!
A little further up my ass, please?
A little further up my ass, please?
A sense of giving back to the place where I grew up.
A sense of giving back to the place where I grew up.
After all, I am the father of this child.
After all, I am the father of this child.
After you, Skank.
After you, Skank.
Against a Cinderella team from the tiny town of Mystery, Alaska.
Against a Cinderella team from the tiny town of Mystery, Alaska.
Ah! Whoo! You can't catch me!
Ah! Whoo! You can't catch me!
All I did was suggest we meet, and then he pulled out a gun.
All I did was suggest we meet, and then he pulled out a gun.
All I've got...
All I've got...
All right, folks. Gotta go.
All right, folks. Gotta go.
All right, just follow the light.
All right, just follow the light.
All right, well, we're not the Partridge Family.
All right, well, we're not the Partridge Family.
All right!
All right!
All right? It isn't exactly rocket surgery.
All right? It isn't exactly rocket surgery.
All right.
All right.
All right. Let's go again.
All right. Let's go again.
All the hoopla is over.
All the hoopla is over.
All the words are crossed out.
All the words are crossed out.
All we know is they have poor dental health and can skate like the wind.
All we know is they have poor dental health and can skate like the wind.
Along the boards, you gotta fight for it!
Along the boards, you gotta fight for it!
Amends.
Amends.
And a couple of guys can really shoot the puck.
And a couple of guys can really shoot the puck.
And all of you, and all the TV commentators...
And all of you, and all the TV commentators...
And another Ranger line comes back warm from the locker room.
And another Ranger line comes back warm from the locker room.
And back comes Mystery. Birdie Burns with Biebe.
And back comes Mystery. Birdie Burns with Biebe.
And Banks wins it. Biebe carries.
And Banks wins it. Biebe carries.
And don't kid yourself. The New York Rangers are taking this game personal.
And don't kid yourself. The New York Rangers are taking this game personal.
And hard! He stamps the captain into the screen!
And hard! He stamps the captain into the screen!
And having Chuck Fuck as our liaison with the network doesn't help.
And having Chuck Fuck as our liaison with the network doesn't help.
And he got his wings trimmed right there, man.
And he got his wings trimmed right there, man.
And he just missed it!
And he just missed it!
And he never said it like it was something we should have to apologize for.
And he never said it like it was something we should have to apologize for.
And he rips the shot over Gainer's glove!
And he rips the shot over Gainer's glove!
And here come the boys of winter.
And here come the boys of winter.
And here come the red, white and blue.
And here come the red, white and blue.
And here comes Mystery. Let's see how they work the puck.
And here comes Mystery. Let's see how they work the puck.
And here they come, five on four!
And here they come, five on four!
And I can't help it if it impressed the hell out of you.
And I can't help it if it impressed the hell out of you.
And I would step off that train and say,
And I would step off that train and say,
And impanel Monday.
And impanel Monday.
And isn't it exciting for Charlie...
And isn't it exciting for Charlie...
And isn't it exciting for Charlie...
And isn't it exciting for Charlie...
And it's kind of in keeping with the whole idea, don't you think?
And it's kind of in keeping with the whole idea, don't you think?
And it's Mystery two and the Rangers zero.
And it's Mystery two and the Rangers zero.
And it's not fair to the Saturday game.
And it's not fair to the Saturday game.
And joining me right now is hockey legend Donnie Shulzhoffer...
And joining me right now is hockey legend Donnie Shulzhoffer...
And Mystery comes streaking back the other way.
And Mystery comes streaking back the other way.
And now the New York Rangers want to come.
And now the New York Rangers want to come.
And now, 43 seconds to play.
And now, 43 seconds to play.
And now, to sing the National Anthem, the one,
And now, to sing the National Anthem, the one,
And Phil, you don't see a guy just lie down in front of a Billy Wasson...
And Phil, you don't see a guy just lie down in front of a Billy Wasson...
And Silvie Walker repeated it to Sarah Heinz.
And Silvie Walker repeated it to Sarah Heinz.
And that smile is not for me.
And that smile is not for me.
And that ties it up at two.
And that ties it up at two.
And that'll keep the blade flat on the ice.
And that'll keep the blade flat on the ice.
And the captain is the town sheriff.
And the captain is the town sheriff.
And the helicopter was...
And the helicopter was...
And the hick ass fucker shoots my foot off! Cock fucking shit!
And the hick ass fucker shoots my foot off! Cock fucking shit!
And the Native Americans who do live here call themselves Inuit, shark meat.
And the Native Americans who do live here call themselves Inuit, shark meat.
And the network figures a 14 share, minimum.
And the network figures a 14 share, minimum.
And the Rangers are finally on the board.
And the Rangers are finally on the board.
And the size of this ice surface could be an equalizer for the Mystery team.
And the size of this ice surface could be an equalizer for the Mystery team.
And the Sports Broadcasting Corporation,
And the Sports Broadcasting Corporation,
And then the rest of your lives.
And then the rest of your lives.
And then there's Connor Banks.
And then there's Connor Banks.
And there's the pass.
And there's the pass.
And two time Stanley Cup winner, Phil Esposito.
And two time Stanley Cup winner, Phil Esposito.
And we can skate.
And we can skate.
And we further order Price World to pay damages...
And we further order Price World to pay damages...
And we need you to start playing like a big guy.
And we need you to start playing like a big guy.
And when you get the puck, you don't pass.
And when you get the puck, you don't pass.
And, as women reporters go, I find you supple.
And, as women reporters go, I find you supple.
And, uh,
And, uh,
And, uh, maybe sometimes it's a little too connected to how well we play hockey,
And, uh, maybe sometimes it's a little too connected to how well we play hockey,
And...
And...
And...
And...
Anyway, I'm gonna do everything I can to win this game...
Anyway, I'm gonna do everything I can to win this game...
Appears to be, uh, well fed.
Appears to be, uh, well fed.
Apuck shot to... Shoots and he scores!
Apuck shot to... Shoots and he scores!
Are you okay? Let me see. Are you all right?
Are you okay? Let me see. Are you all right?
Are you sure?
Are you sure?
Arrest him for what?
Arrest him for what?
As it has in so many communities across this country.
As it has in so many communities across this country.
As mayor of Mystery, Alaska,
As mayor of Mystery, Alaska,
As soon as you cross the blue line,
As soon as you cross the blue line,
As the puck comes off the ice, the left wing will always drop back.
As the puck comes off the ice, the left wing will always drop back.
At this time I'd be asking the court to dismiss the charges...
At this time I'd be asking the court to dismiss the charges...
Aw, shit!
Aw, shit!
Baby son.
Baby son.
Back into the slot, shot, scores!
Back into the slot, shot, scores!
Back off! Back off!
Back off! Back off!
Back over the blue line. And it's intercepted!
Back over the blue line. And it's intercepted!
Back to Billy Wasson. He moves up and gives back toJackson.
Back to Billy Wasson. He moves up and gives back toJackson.
Back to Wasson, wide open. Shoots... What a save by Holt!
Back to Wasson, wide open. Shoots... What a save by Holt!
Back to Wasson. He winds for the shot. Marden drops to block.
Back to Wasson. He winds for the shot. Marden drops to block.
Bailey!
Bailey!
Bailey! Bailey!
Bailey! Bailey!
Balls to the walls, huh?
Balls to the walls, huh?
Banks wins the draw. Over to Marden, up toward Burns.
Banks wins the draw. Over to Marden, up toward Burns.
Because every time he met somebody he liked,
Because every time he met somebody he liked,
Because he loved this place.
Because he loved this place.
Because somebody repeated what was said in the locker room.
Because somebody repeated what was said in the locker room.
Because they can't play.
Because they can't play.
Because they're the two most fun things in cold weather.
Because they're the two most fun things in cold weather.
Bedroom. Morning. Expressive. Tender.
Bedroom. Morning. Expressive. Tender.
Before we get into that,
Before we get into that,
Besides slave over a hot stove, rub my fat husband's feet,
Besides slave over a hot stove, rub my fat husband's feet,
Besides, if they're going to be doing a profile on the town,
Besides, if they're going to be doing a profile on the town,
Better not hear your grades are dropping off.
Better not hear your grades are dropping off.
Between the warm dressing room.
Between the warm dressing room.
Biebe back to get it. Neskorami on the porch.
Biebe back to get it. Neskorami on the porch.
Biebe scores off a great pass from Birdie Burns.
Biebe scores off a great pass from Birdie Burns.
Biebe slowing it down behind the net.
Biebe slowing it down behind the net.
Biebe. Banks. One timer! Scores!
Biebe. Banks. One timer! Scores!
Biebe's got it! Here comes Connor Banks!
Biebe's got it! Here comes Connor Banks!
Big doings we've got going here in Mystery these days, huh?
Big doings we've got going here in Mystery these days, huh?
Birdie Burns is caught trying to do it all by himself...
Birdie Burns is caught trying to do it all by himself...
Birdie. You don't pass, you sit.
Birdie. You don't pass, you sit.
Black ice, wide open surface, it's all about skating.
Black ice, wide open surface, it's all about skating.
Blow it out your ass.
Blow it out your ass.
Boards, blue lines, referees.
Boards, blue lines, referees.
Boards, offsides, two line passing.
Boards, offsides, two line passing.
Bobby Michan goes in at goal.
Bobby Michan goes in at goal.
Both to Binghamton, huh? Two way contracts.
Both to Binghamton, huh? Two way contracts.
Brian!
Brian!
Brought to you live by the National Hockey League...
Brought to you live by the National Hockey League...
Bullshit!
Bullshit!
Burns lays it behind the net to Weeks.
Burns lays it behind the net to Weeks.
Burns shooting!
Burns shooting!
But also, it's minus ten outside.
But also, it's minus ten outside.
But I really do not need you taking his side.
But I really do not need you taking his side.
But I'm telling you, some pretty good goals. I'm loving these kids.
But I'm telling you, some pretty good goals. I'm loving these kids.
But I've always thought you were a bit of a prick.
But I've always thought you were a bit of a prick.
But next toJudge Fuck Nut, you know most about hockey.
But next toJudge Fuck Nut, you know most about hockey.
But on the pond,
But on the pond,
But our reputation has been hurt.
But our reputation has been hurt.
But the article sparked some kind of brainstorm at the NHL.
But the article sparked some kind of brainstorm at the NHL.
But the Rangers continue to control.
But the Rangers continue to control.
But the Rangers control the puck.
But the Rangers control the puck.
But we do have our pride.
But we do have our pride.
But what needs to be decided first is, do we want this game?
But what needs to be decided first is, do we want this game?
But you have your star center back.
But you have your star center back.
But... our boys on a pond?
But... our boys on a pond?
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Camera three, stay off the Rangers. They look miserable.
Camera three, stay off the Rangers. They look miserable.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Can I talk to you for a second?
Can't we just enjoy the attention tonight?
Can't we just enjoy the attention tonight?
Cangrapoole along the boards. Lane pitches, and the puck squirts free.
Cangrapoole along the boards. Lane pitches, and the puck squirts free.
Carries out of his own zone.
Carries out of his own zone.
Charlie fuckin' Danner!
Charlie fuckin' Danner!
Charlie. You've been smiling a little more.
Charlie. You've been smiling a little more.
Coach Higgins must have had one of his screaming fits...
Coach Higgins must have had one of his screaming fits...
Cock fucking suck ass fucker!
Cock fucking suck ass fucker!
Come on, Birdie!
Come on, Birdie!
Come on, boys. Cover it!
Come on, boys. Cover it!
Come on, boys. Let's move it.
Come on, boys. Let's move it.
Come on, guys!
Come on, guys!
Come on, guys. Let's start gettin' our heads into it.
Come on, guys. Let's start gettin' our heads into it.
Come on, let's go!
Come on, let's go!
Come on, this is your puck!
Come on, this is your puck!
Come on, Tree. Let's go, baby. Come on, Galin. Let's go now.
Come on, Tree. Let's go, baby. Come on, Galin. Let's go now.
Come on, you guys! Pick 'em up!
Come on, you guys! Pick 'em up!
Come on! It's not over! Mystery! Mystery!
Come on! It's not over! Mystery! Mystery!
Come on! One more! One more!
Come on! One more! One more!
Come on! Pull it off!
Come on! Pull it off!
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Pass it off.
Come on. Pass it off.
Coming!
Coming!
Community pride.
Community pride.
Connolly trailing. Drop, pass, shot.
Connolly trailing. Drop, pass, shot.
Connolly trails. He has it in his sights.
Connolly trails. He has it in his sights.
Connor Banks and a one timer from Biebe! Wow!
Connor Banks and a one timer from Biebe! Wow!
Connor, trust me. They're not gonna lock up our leading scorer.
Connor, trust me. They're not gonna lock up our leading scorer.
Could we make a game of it?
Could we make a game of it?
Dear Abby.
Dear Abby.
Defensemen...
Defensemen...
Depends on rules.
Depends on rules.
Did he say anything, Mr. Walsh?
Did he say anything, Mr. Walsh?
Did it appear to ricochet off a wheelbarrow?
Did it appear to ricochet off a wheelbarrow?
Did you say that, Mr. Walsh?
Did you say that, Mr. Walsh?
Did you say,
Did you say,
Did you see your daddy out there?
Did you see your daddy out there?
Different story in the second period.
Different story in the second period.
Dig splinters out of my ass that I get while sitting around pining for you?
Dig splinters out of my ass that I get while sitting around pining for you?
Do I look impressed?
Do I look impressed?
Do I look like I'm okay? The fucker shot me!
Do I look like I'm okay? The fucker shot me!
Do not give these guys too much respect.
Do not give these guys too much respect.
Do you know where a guy can get a rub and a tug around here?
Do you know where a guy can get a rub and a tug around here?
Do you like massages?
Do you like massages?
Do you understand me?
Do you understand me?
Don't be saying anything to me.
Don't be saying anything to me.
Don't bring the Yankees.
Don't bring the Yankees.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
Don't rush the shot. Three men across the blue line.
Don't rush the shot. Three men across the blue line.
Don't talk to me about betrayal.
Don't talk to me about betrayal.
Don't tell me you're fine.
Don't tell me you're fine.
Don't worry. I didn't come here to sleep with you.
Don't worry. I didn't come here to sleep with you.
Don't you ever wish you lived in a town that had a museum...
Don't you ever wish you lived in a town that had a museum...
Donna Biebe, wife of captain John Biebe.
Donna Biebe, wife of captain John Biebe.
Donna's inside, Johnny.
Donna's inside, Johnny.
Donnie, let's get right to it.
Donnie, let's get right to it.
Donnie, the Mystery boys... two unanswered goals in the first period.
Donnie, the Mystery boys... two unanswered goals in the first period.
Down the borders with Lane checkingJackson around the net.
Down the borders with Lane checkingJackson around the net.
Eskimo soup.
Eskimo soup.
Ever since he came back...
Ever since he came back...
Every ex player turned coach says they prefer coaching to playing.
Every ex player turned coach says they prefer coaching to playing.
Everybody here always says on a pond, nobody beats us, right? Nobody.
Everybody here always says on a pond, nobody beats us, right? Nobody.
Everybody in!
Everybody in!
Evidently, the Ranger players...
Evidently, the Ranger players...
Excellent. Back to you.
Excellent. Back to you.
Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.
Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.
Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.
Except for Connor, nobody here comes close.
Except you wonder what it would be like with him...
Except you wonder what it would be like with him...
Face off at the Mystery blue line.
Face off at the Mystery blue line.
Face off on the Rangers'end. Rangers get the draw.
Face off on the Rangers'end. Rangers get the draw.
Fancy.
Fancy.
Fat men don't shovel, Bailey.
Fat men don't shovel, Bailey.
Filed some kind of grievance with the players' union,
Filed some kind of grievance with the players' union,
Finally, Holt controls the rebound.
Finally, Holt controls the rebound.
Fine. Take me in, John. I don't care.
Fine. Take me in, John. I don't care.
Five unanswered goals, and the Rangers are steamrolling.
Five unanswered goals, and the Rangers are steamrolling.
Flying in here on a helicopter,
Flying in here on a helicopter,
For dead Bailey,
For dead Bailey,
For God's sakes.
For God's sakes.
For Mystery,
For Mystery,
For you.
For you.
Forget about that fucking circus out there.
Forget about that fucking circus out there.
Forty three seconds,
Forty three seconds,
Forty three seconds. You own that time.
Forty three seconds. You own that time.
Fraud.
Fraud.
From right wing to right point, down low to Birdie Burns.
From right wing to right point, down low to Birdie Burns.
Fuck 'em, Johnny. Fuck 'em.
Fuck 'em, Johnny. Fuck 'em.
Fuck it.
Fuck it.
Fuck me!
Fuck me!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuckin' moron.
Fuckin' moron.
Fuckin' wind chill. This ain't right.
Fuckin' wind chill. This ain't right.
Galin knocks the puck to brother Ben and carries it into the zone.
Galin knocks the puck to brother Ben and carries it into the zone.
Game's back on?
Game's back on?
Geez.
Geez.
Geez.
Geez.
Get away! Get away!
Get away! Get away!
Get it out, guys! Get it out!
Get it out, guys! Get it out!
Get somebody in here now!
Get somebody in here now!
Getting his article published in Sports Illustrated?
Getting his article published in Sports Illustrated?
Give me that, at least.
Give me that, at least.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Let's go!
Go! Go, go, go, go, go! Let's go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go!
Goddamn, John, what do I gotta do?
Goddamn, John, what do I gotta do?
Good game! Good game!
Good game! Good game!
Good night.
Good night.
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
Good. The Rangers are starting to breathe through their mouths.
Good. The Rangers are starting to breathe through their mouths.
Good. Twist it! Yeah, that helps.
Good. Twist it! Yeah, that helps.
Great game, Judge.
Great game, Judge.
Great game, son.
Great game, son.
Great pass! Great pass!
Great pass! Great pass!
Great save, Holt. Come on, guys.
Great save, Holt. Come on, guys.
Guys, it ain't my birthday.
Guys, it ain't my birthday.
Guys! It's just a name, you know?
Guys! It's just a name, you know?
Hang on. Hang on. " Perfecting the art of the pass is John Biebe,
Hang on. Hang on. " Perfecting the art of the pass is John Biebe,
Has brought one of his lumberjack players with him...
Has brought one of his lumberjack players with him...
Have a good game today.
Have a good game today.
Have been going around saying that this is a farce...
Have been going around saying that this is a farce...
Have fun in jail, asshole!
Have fun in jail, asshole!
Have you done this before?
Have you done this before?
He could have left if he wanted, but he stayed.
He could have left if he wanted, but he stayed.
He dishes it around behind the net forJohn Biebe.
He dishes it around behind the net forJohn Biebe.
He don't make a million bucks a year!
He don't make a million bucks a year!
He heard it in the locker room, Dad.
He heard it in the locker room, Dad.
He hit a wheelbarrow. It ricocheted.
He hit a wheelbarrow. It ricocheted.
He kind of embellished a little.
He kind of embellished a little.
He leads left, goes right, shoots... Scores!
He leads left, goes right, shoots... Scores!
He loves it.
He loves it.
He loves the game of hockey!
He loves the game of hockey!
He moves it around to Yeaton. Swings a pass on the take to Lovulette.
He moves it around to Yeaton. Swings a pass on the take to Lovulette.
He moves it to Wasson, over to Robertson.
He moves it to Wasson, over to Robertson.
He never made the Saturday game.
He never made the Saturday game.
He plays to play.
He plays to play.
He said it was...
He said it was...
He shoots. He scores!
He shoots. He scores!
He shoots... Scores!
He shoots... Scores!
He skates to skate!
He skates to skate!
He takes it wide and gains the Mystery zone.
He takes it wide and gains the Mystery zone.
He threatened to shoot me if I didn't leave the premises, and then he shot me.
He threatened to shoot me if I didn't leave the premises, and then he shot me.
He won.
He won.
He... scores!
He... scores!
He's a...
He's a...
He's always been so smart, that Charlie. I knew when he left he'd make it big.
He's always been so smart, that Charlie. I knew when he left he'd make it big.
He's back up and rejoins the play.
He's back up and rejoins the play.
He's gone on the breakaway. This could really put Mystery away.
He's gone on the breakaway. This could really put Mystery away.
He's got a shot!
He's got a shot!
He's got Banks on the wing. Pass to the middle. Robertson catches it.
He's got Banks on the wing. Pass to the middle. Robertson catches it.
He's got the fans into this one early, Sam.
He's got the fans into this one early, Sam.
He's having a heart attack! Somebody help him!
He's having a heart attack! Somebody help him!
He's not breathing!
He's not breathing!
Heads up!
Heads up!
Hello. I'm Doug McLeod, and with me is NHL Hall of Famer...
Hello. I'm Doug McLeod, and with me is NHL Hall of Famer...
Here comes Burns, working for a shot. He's gonna shoot.
Here comes Burns, working for a shot. He's gonna shoot.
Here comes Mystery. Banks trying to get free.
Here comes Mystery. Banks trying to get free.
Here comes the odd man rush. It is Ben and Galin.
Here comes the odd man rush. It is Ben and Galin.
Here comes Weeks. He is behind the advance.
Here comes Weeks. He is behind the advance.
Here he comes.
Here he comes.
Here we go at center ice.
Here we go at center ice.
Here we go. Let's play hockey.
Here we go. Let's play hockey.
Here.
Here.
Here's what I want. One man in, wings on wings.
Here's what I want. One man in, wings on wings.
Hey, fuck you!
Hey, fuck you!
Hey, guys, you are not gonna believe this.
Hey, guys, you are not gonna believe this.
Hey, he promised something that he couldn't deliver.
Hey, he promised something that he couldn't deliver.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a town meeting.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a town meeting.
Hey, hey. That's enough.
Hey, hey. That's enough.
Hey, Johnny!
Hey, Johnny!
Hey, listen, buddy.
Hey, listen, buddy.
Hey, Mike.
Hey, Mike.
Hey, Sarah, sorry to be calling on you so late, but have you heard?
Hey, Sarah, sorry to be calling on you so late, but have you heard?
Hey, that one is too small, eh?
Hey, that one is too small, eh?
Hey, we're on the air.
Hey, we're on the air.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey. I'm goin' on a piss later. You wanna join me?
Hey. I'm goin' on a piss later. You wanna join me?
Hey. What did you say?
Hey. What did you say?
Hi, Bailey.
Hi, Bailey.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. God, you look good.
Hi. God, you look good.
High sticking, fuck shit!
High sticking, fuck shit!
His heart would grow a little.
His heart would grow a little.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hockey is played at both ends of the ice.
Hockey is played at both ends of the ice.
Holt comes out and sheriff's deputy...
Holt comes out and sheriff's deputy...
Holt stood on his head. I've never seen a save like that!
Holt stood on his head. I've never seen a save like that!
Honey.
Honey.
Hooked by Neskorami, Marden goes down.
Hooked by Neskorami, Marden goes down.
How about a quick rattle?
How about a quick rattle?
How can you look this good? What do you have, like nine children now?
How can you look this good? What do you have, like nine children now?
How is your husband, anyway?
How is your husband, anyway?
How's Donna doing? Does she miss me?
How's Donna doing? Does she miss me?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh?
Huh? This town is hockey, hockey, hockey, right?
Huh? This town is hockey, hockey, hockey, right?
Human. "
Human. "
I ain't sheriffin'. I'm just a teammate concerned for his freedom.
I ain't sheriffin'. I'm just a teammate concerned for his freedom.
I beg your pardon?
I beg your pardon?
I bet this is a big accomplishment for him.
I bet this is a big accomplishment for him.
I better check on Mike.
I better check on Mike.
I brought 'em here. Why don't I get a parade?
I brought 'em here. Why don't I get a parade?
I brought the salts, Dad.
I brought the salts, Dad.
I came to see your husband.
I came to see your husband.
I can't feel my fingers.
I can't feel my fingers.
I come bearing the New York Rangers.
I come bearing the New York Rangers.
I didn't even get the condom on.
I didn't even get the condom on.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I didn't think she was gonna say anything.
I didn't think she was gonna say anything.
I don't care how fast a skater you are, if you don't play this game...
I don't care how fast a skater you are, if you don't play this game...
I don't care. I'm about to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
I don't care. I'm about to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated.
I don't exactly trust Chuckie boy.
I don't exactly trust Chuckie boy.
I don't know how to coach.
I don't know how to coach.
I don't know where else to do it.
I don't know where else to do it.
I don't wanna hear another word about a hockey game. We talked about this.
I don't wanna hear another word about a hockey game. We talked about this.
I don't wanna lose you toJody Lange just 'cause she gives.
I don't wanna lose you toJody Lange just 'cause she gives.
I don't want a trial now. Suppose I lose? I get jail, I miss the game.
I don't want a trial now. Suppose I lose? I get jail, I miss the game.
I don't want to hit you, Johnny.
I don't want to hit you, Johnny.
I don't... I don't want you to feel bad about that either,
I don't... I don't want you to feel bad about that either,
I feel really bad for these boys, Jimmy. I really do.
I feel really bad for these boys, Jimmy. I really do.
I figure, what the hell. I ain't that attractive.
I figure, what the hell. I ain't that attractive.
I got a condom too.
I got a condom too.
I got it. Look. It's three pages with pictures and profiles.
I got it. Look. It's three pages with pictures and profiles.
I gotta go.
I gotta go.
I hate you bastards! I hate you all!
I hate you bastards! I hate you all!
I have a toy pony. He takes big shits.
I have a toy pony. He takes big shits.
I just wanted to say,
I just wanted to say,
I know that your being mayor and all,
I know that your being mayor and all,
I know! She's supposed to be this shy girl.
I know! She's supposed to be this shy girl.
I love this town, too, John.
I love this town, too, John.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I make a business call. I give him my card.
I make a business call. I give him my card.
I mean, he's a grocery clerk, for crying out loud.
I mean, he's a grocery clerk, for crying out loud.
I mean, what else do I have to do, really,
I mean, what else do I have to do, really,
I mean, you paid for the whole stick.
I mean, you paid for the whole stick.
I need a captain on the ice.
I need a captain on the ice.
I never chose to stay. I chose you.
I never chose to stay. I chose you.
I never would've said that to her face.
I never would've said that to her face.
I play hockey and I fornicate...
I play hockey and I fornicate...
I see.
I see.
I should arrest him. That's what I should do.
I should arrest him. That's what I should do.
I suggest we cling to both.
I suggest we cling to both.
I suppose you have to let them sell it. I suppose.
I suppose you have to let them sell it. I suppose.
I thank God every day I gave birth to boys.
I thank God every day I gave birth to boys.
I think we should celebrate you making the team.
I think we should celebrate you making the team.
I thought, um...
I thought, um...
I want to adopt them. How's that?
I want to adopt them. How's that?
I want to clean them up and raise them as my own.
I want to clean them up and raise them as my own.
I want to keep the score close. As long as it's not a rout, we go home winners.
I want to keep the score close. As long as it's not a rout, we go home winners.
I want you to meet the folks from the network.
I want you to meet the folks from the network.
I was wondering.
I was wondering.
I, uh,
I, uh,
I'd like to call up here someone we all know and...
I'd like to call up here someone we all know and...
I'll be back in a couple of months.
I'll be back in a couple of months.
I'll beat 'em.
I'll beat 'em.
I'll play those Rangers.
I'll play those Rangers.
I'll probably just end up a drunk, like my dad.
I'll probably just end up a drunk, like my dad.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I'll vaccinate her quick, get home for an early sack, beat what's left of the bishop.
I'll vaccinate her quick, get home for an early sack, beat what's left of the bishop.
I'm a premature ejaculator.
I'm a premature ejaculator.
I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this.
I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this.
I'm entitled to know what's going on under this roof.
I'm entitled to know what's going on under this roof.
I'm fine, Donna.
I'm fine, Donna.
I'm gonna extend a little invitation to the New York Rangers!
I'm gonna extend a little invitation to the New York Rangers!
I'm gonna say goodbye to Connor.
I'm gonna say goodbye to Connor.
I'm I'm sorry. I must have...
I'm I'm sorry. I must have...
I'm not beaten!
I'm not beaten!
I'm not for it at any price.
I'm not for it at any price.
I'm not going to the New York Rangers right away.
I'm not going to the New York Rangers right away.
I'm not gonna leave you on account of not having sex.
I'm not gonna leave you on account of not having sex.
I'm not in the mood, Mr. Pruitt.
I'm not in the mood, Mr. Pruitt.
I'm notJohnny! I'm a New York Ranger!
I'm notJohnny! I'm a New York Ranger!
I'm really sorry, Scott. I don't... I don't even...
I'm really sorry, Scott. I don't... I don't even...
I'm sick. Oh, God, I'm sick. Oh, God.
I'm sick. Oh, God, I'm sick. Oh, God.
I'm slow in the feet?
I'm slow in the feet?
I'm sorry for only wanting to play hockey, and I'm sorry that you never played...
I'm sorry for only wanting to play hockey, and I'm sorry that you never played...
I'm sorry I don't feel like goin' to college and getting some degree.
I'm sorry I don't feel like goin' to college and getting some degree.
I'm sure he'd be happy to repeat it.
I'm sure he'd be happy to repeat it.
I'm tellin' you, Tree, there's rumors.
I'm tellin' you, Tree, there's rumors.
I'm telling you, she got her February fat now in the second week in December.
I'm telling you, she got her February fat now in the second week in December.
I've had a chance to see the Mystery team practice. They skate fast,
I've had a chance to see the Mystery team practice. They skate fast,
I've lost my appetite.
I've lost my appetite.
If I'm coaching,
If I'm coaching,
If nothing else, it's good for morale.
If nothing else, it's good for morale.
If Price World did come here...
If Price World did come here...
If they're gonna be pouring a lot of money into it,
If they're gonna be pouring a lot of money into it,
If this game happens, it's only 32 days away.
If this game happens, it's only 32 days away.
If we're gonna make a game of it, it should be you.
If we're gonna make a game of it, it should be you.
If you all settle down, we'll, uh, we'll try to answer all your questions.
If you all settle down, we'll, uh, we'll try to answer all your questions.
If you lose a puck...
If you lose a puck...
Implied third party contract too.
Implied third party contract too.
In a world perpetually covered with ice and snow.
In a world perpetually covered with ice and snow.
In fact, that's what we're calling the team: The Mystery Eskimos.
In fact, that's what we're calling the team: The Mystery Eskimos.
In from Flin Flon, Manitoba.
In from Flin Flon, Manitoba.
In front of the net, you don't got dinky do.
In front of the net, you don't got dinky do.
In the amount of $42,000.
In the amount of $42,000.
In the Saturday game, but I would think there are bigger tragedies in life!
In the Saturday game, but I would think there are bigger tragedies in life!
Inuit, Eskimo... whatever. Just zero in on faces that look local.
Inuit, Eskimo... whatever. Just zero in on faces that look local.
Is enough in life.
Is enough in life.
Is it legal to shoot in the vicinity of people in this town?
Is it legal to shoot in the vicinity of people in this town?
Is that legal? That's not legal.
Is that legal? That's not legal.
Is the notion that being adored by your husband...
Is the notion that being adored by your husband...
Isolated by rugged mountains and vast glaciers,
Isolated by rugged mountains and vast glaciers,
It is a two man hockey game right here!
It is a two man hockey game right here!
It is not just a random smile, Donna.
It is not just a random smile, Donna.
It is one on one with Sam Gainer.
It is one on one with Sam Gainer.
It might be broken.
It might be broken.
It might help if Mystery had a face there.
It might help if Mystery had a face there.
It was 'cause of your sister's breasts. They're perky.
It was 'cause of your sister's breasts. They're perky.
It will be.
It will be.
It won't be, John.
It won't be, John.
It would threaten to put every merchant in this town out of business,
It would threaten to put every merchant in this town out of business,
It... Maybe. So what?
It... Maybe. So what?
It's a big gimmick. I mean, Mr. Pruitt himself...
It's a big gimmick. I mean, Mr. Pruitt himself...
It's a cheap stunt, Your Honor, and everybody knows that.
It's a cheap stunt, Your Honor, and everybody knows that.
It's a hockey game.
It's a hockey game.
It's a pleasure to welcome a famous TV personality.
It's a pleasure to welcome a famous TV personality.
It's a Rockewellian Christmas up here...
It's a Rockewellian Christmas up here...
It's a shooting gallery out there!
It's a shooting gallery out there!
It's a weekly ritual celebration. "
It's a weekly ritual celebration. "
It's about our...
It's about our...
It's as good as a commercial.
It's as good as a commercial.
It's beautiful, honey.
It's beautiful, honey.
It's better. You're in the Saturday game!
It's better. You're in the Saturday game!
It's even bigger than the Olympic rinks.
It's even bigger than the Olympic rinks.
It's five man, not four. It's complicated.
It's five man, not four. It's complicated.
It's great. It's something, actually.
It's great. It's something, actually.
It's It's in my brief.
It's It's in my brief.
It's keeping the kids awake. Come on.
It's keeping the kids awake. Come on.
It's me that embarrasses you, isn't it?
It's me that embarrasses you, isn't it?
It's not that easy!
It's not that easy!
It's okay, Stevie.
It's okay, Stevie.
It's payback time, and that one's for Stevie Weeks.
It's payback time, and that one's for Stevie Weeks.
It's really starting to unravel for Mystery.
It's really starting to unravel for Mystery.
It's the Great Alaskan Hockey Rush...
It's the Great Alaskan Hockey Rush...
It's two tenths below zero. The committee won't be happy.
It's two tenths below zero. The committee won't be happy.
It's your time. Am I right?
It's your time. Am I right?
Jackson controls again. Over to King.
Jackson controls again. Over to King.
Jackson dumps Banks and gets the draw.
Jackson dumps Banks and gets the draw.
Jesus Christ, Scott! Ow!
Jesus Christ, Scott! Ow!
Jesus!
Jesus!
Jesus! Oh, man!
Jesus! Oh, man!
Jimmy, you gotta love these kids. God knows I do.
Jimmy, you gotta love these kids. God knows I do.
Joey!
Joey!
John Biebe is the anchor, for God's sakes!
John Biebe is the anchor, for God's sakes!
John, can we win?
John, can we win?
John, everyone in this goddamn town peeks over the snowbank and wonders.
John, everyone in this goddamn town peeks over the snowbank and wonders.
John, excuse me, but this game is gonna be played on a pond.
John, excuse me, but this game is gonna be played on a pond.
John, I'm asking you as mayor of the town.
John, I'm asking you as mayor of the town.
John, that was high school.
John, that was high school.
John?
John?
John?
John?
John?
John?
John.
John.
Johnny, I heard.
Johnny, I heard.
Judge turn you down?
Judge turn you down?
Judge,
Judge,
Just 'cause I haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than six weeks...
Just 'cause I haven't had a relationship that's lasted longer than six weeks...
Just like that, Tree.
Just like that, Tree.
Just read it.
Just read it.
Keep reading.
Keep reading.
Knock it off. That'll be enough.
Knock it off. That'll be enough.
L I could go down as fast as I come up.
L I could go down as fast as I come up.
L... Does this mean we're done?
L... Does this mean we're done?
Let me know, huh?
Let me know, huh?
Let's go, guys! Let's do this!
Let's go, guys! Let's do this!
Let's go, guys. Let's go!
Let's go, guys. Let's go!
Let's go, guys. Three on three.
Let's go, guys. Three on three.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Let's go! Let's move!
Let's go! Let's move!
Let's have some order, for God's sakes! John.
Let's have some order, for God's sakes! John.
Let's play hockey.
Let's play hockey.
Let's rock, boys. Let's get it going!
Let's rock, boys. Let's get it going!
Like Connor says, that Weeks kid, he's got jump.
Like Connor says, that Weeks kid, he's got jump.
Like this?
Like this?
Like we said, folks, this is a small town.
Like we said, folks, this is a small town.
Listen to this.
Listen to this.
Little Richard, I'm from Mystery.
Little Richard, I'm from Mystery.
Little Richard.
Little Richard.
Look around. Look at yourselves.
Look around. Look at yourselves.
Look at the passing here!
Look at the passing here!
Look for Burns to pull their goalie.
Look for Burns to pull their goalie.
Look out!
Look out!
Look out! Yeaton rips the head off him!
Look out! Yeaton rips the head off him!
Look, it's not fair to the Weeks boy to keep him back.
Look, it's not fair to the Weeks boy to keep him back.
Look, John, these are the developments.
Look, John, these are the developments.
Look, the Alaskans have never taken on a team of this size and skill before, okay?
Look, the Alaskans have never taken on a team of this size and skill before, okay?
Look, think about it.
Look, think about it.
Look. Christmas is a lonely day for a guy to be choking his own chicken.
Look. Christmas is a lonely day for a guy to be choking his own chicken.
Love to stay, but, uh, gotta go.
Love to stay, but, uh, gotta go.
Love. Patience.
Love. Patience.
Madly.
Madly.
Making these fat sounds.
Making these fat sounds.
Man, he's lucky to get out of there alive.
Man, he's lucky to get out of there alive.
Margie has relatives in Waterville, Maine.
Margie has relatives in Waterville, Maine.
Marla.
Marla.
Maximum.
Maximum.
May I?
May I?
Mmm!
Mmm!
Money.
Money.
Montreal had its rocket. Mystery has its cruise missile!"
Montreal had its rocket. Mystery has its cruise missile!"
More potatoes?
More potatoes?
Move it, Stevie!
Move it, Stevie!
Move it!
Move it!
Move it!
Move it!
Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!
Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!
Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!
Move that puck, fellas! He's opening up!
Mr. Pruitt, I don't want to hear anything about Price World.
Mr. Pruitt, I don't want to hear anything about Price World.
Mr. Pruitt? Are you all right?
Mr. Pruitt? Are you all right?
Mr. Walsh, that bullet that struck you,
Mr. Walsh, that bullet that struck you,
Much of its esteem from hockey.
Much of its esteem from hockey.
My boy Mike once asked Bailey how he got to be so fat.
My boy Mike once asked Bailey how he got to be so fat.
My own jimmy? You know what? Why don't you go plan a rummage sale...
My own jimmy? You know what? Why don't you go plan a rummage sale...
My, uh...
My, uh...
Mystery gets on the board first,
Mystery gets on the board first,
Mystery gets the loose puck and heads the other way.
Mystery gets the loose puck and heads the other way.
Mystery is giving everything they've got. This is great hockey.
Mystery is giving everything they've got. This is great hockey.
Mystery is hoping the cold of night will stem this Ranger tide.
Mystery is hoping the cold of night will stem this Ranger tide.
Mystery is rattled. They're running around like a house league.
Mystery is rattled. They're running around like a house league.
Mystery! Mystery!
Mystery! Mystery!
Mystery! Mystery!
Mystery! Mystery!
Mystery's gonna keep their goalie on the bench.
Mystery's gonna keep their goalie on the bench.
N Now? Here?
N Now? Here?
Nervous?
Nervous?
Next time send me a bigger one.
Next time send me a bigger one.
Nice assist.
Nice assist.
Nice game.
Nice game.
Nifty toe drag around Banks. Shoots! And a save by Holt.
Nifty toe drag around Banks. Shoots! And a save by Holt.
Nipped in the bud.
Nipped in the bud.
No blood. Judge!
No blood. Judge!
No, "Wow, nice helicopter"? No, " Hey, great article in Sports Illustrated"?
No, "Wow, nice helicopter"? No, " Hey, great article in Sports Illustrated"?
No, he came in the condom.
No, he came in the condom.
No, he passes the puck to Biebe! Shoots!
No, he passes the puck to Biebe! Shoots!
No, I don't think so, Steve. No one thought...
No, I don't think so, Steve. No one thought...
No, it's dry. It's dry.
No, it's dry. It's dry.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
No, just over here. There you go. Over here. Come on.
No, just over here. There you go. Over here. Come on.
No, no, no. Easy, son.
No, no, no. Easy, son.
No, no, Shawnette.
No, no, Shawnette.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Look.
No. Look.
Nobody thinks the Dallas Cowboys are actually cowboys.
Nobody thinks the Dallas Cowboys are actually cowboys.
Nobody told them it was just a show.
Nobody told them it was just a show.
Not because other worlds weren't available to him.
Not because other worlds weren't available to him.
Not that big.
Not that big.
Not the important ones.
Not the important ones.
Nothing in the basic agreement allows them...
Nothing in the basic agreement allows them...
Now Marden is slow to get up.
Now Marden is slow to get up.
Now Mystery sets off on the power play in the Ranger zone.
Now Mystery sets off on the power play in the Ranger zone.
Now send the kids out of the room.
Now send the kids out of the room.
Now Skank Marden carries out.
Now Skank Marden carries out.
Now we're playing on a rink in a box...
Now we're playing on a rink in a box...
Now Weeks takes it and carries it on down the wing.
Now Weeks takes it and carries it on down the wing.
Now, either you thought about that,
Now, either you thought about that,
Now, hold on just one second.
Now, hold on just one second.
Now, if we gain the zone, you get across the blue line, you dump.
Now, if we gain the zone, you get across the blue line, you dump.
Now, instead of spending these days off at home with their families,
Now, instead of spending these days off at home with their families,
Now, last night Skank took a shovel to the temple...
Now, last night Skank took a shovel to the temple...
Now, nothing is definite.
Now, nothing is definite.
Now, this is a little town that derives...
Now, this is a little town that derives...
Objection, Your Honor.
Objection, Your Honor.
Objection! Now, that question...
Objection! Now, that question...
Of course he is.
Of course he is.
Of course it's gonna be good. That's the whole point.
Of course it's gonna be good. That's the whole point.
Oh, a Zamboni. Gettin' wet just thinking about it.
Oh, a Zamboni. Gettin' wet just thinking about it.
Oh, he's landing a couple of big ones, and so is Domi.
Oh, he's landing a couple of big ones, and so is Domi.
Oh, I... Clearly not.
Oh, I... Clearly not.
Oh, I'm I'm... I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm I'm... I'm sorry.
Oh, Jesus. Can't hold a stick.
Oh, Jesus. Can't hold a stick.
Oh, man, I'm dying.
Oh, man, I'm dying.
Oh, shit! Mother...
Oh, shit! Mother...
Oh, Skank!
Oh, Skank!
Oh, Skank.
Oh, Skank.
Oh, some celebrity.
Oh, some celebrity.
Oh, that was lovely. It's a shame we weren't rolling for that.
Oh, that was lovely. It's a shame we weren't rolling for that.
Oh, uh...
Oh, uh...
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! And a huge hit by Biebe!
Oh! And a huge hit by Biebe!
Oh! What a hit!
Oh! What a hit!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh...
Oh...
Okay, hit me.
Okay, hit me.
Okay, I think I've been pretty patient with this little jealousy thing.
Okay, I think I've been pretty patient with this little jealousy thing.
Okay, Judge.
Okay, Judge.
Okay, ready, five? Take five.
Okay, ready, five? Take five.
Okay, that's it! You're gone!
Okay, that's it! You're gone!
Okay, well, you got a chance to prove it now.
Okay, well, you got a chance to prove it now.
Okay? Are you a big guy?
Okay? Are you a big guy?
Okay. All right. Okay.
Okay. All right. Okay.
On a standard ice rink, no, we don't come close.
On a standard ice rink, no, we don't come close.
On On his, uh, serpent.
On On his, uh, serpent.
On open ice.
On open ice.
On pure skating ability, the boys of Mystery, Alaska...
On pure skating ability, the boys of Mystery, Alaska...
On the grounds of patriotism.
On the grounds of patriotism.
On the wing to Weeks. He gains the zone.
On the wing to Weeks. He gains the zone.
One of us is going down.
One of us is going down.
One step and he was gone.
One step and he was gone.
Or someplace where brothers and sisters were off limits to each other sexually?
Or someplace where brothers and sisters were off limits to each other sexually?
Or we can simply leave the decision to the committee, which I'm quite happy to do.
Or we can simply leave the decision to the committee, which I'm quite happy to do.
Or you didn't.
Or you didn't.
Our dignity and our illusions.
Our dignity and our illusions.
Our tourism might grow.
Our tourism might grow.
Our town is a big joke.
Our town is a big joke.
Outta here. Get out.
Outta here. Get out.
Over here! Whoo!
Over here! Whoo!
Ow! Jesus! What, did you put your finger in it?
Ow! Jesus! What, did you put your finger in it?
Pass it out to the wing!
Pass it out to the wing!
Pass the puck! Pass that puck! That a boy!
Pass the puck! Pass that puck! That a boy!
Pass! Damn!
Pass! Damn!
People of Mystery, I give you...
People of Mystery, I give you...
Pick up the man in front! Pick him up!
Pick up the man in front! Pick him up!
Pick up your feet!
Pick up your feet!
Pitting the New York Rangers...
Pitting the New York Rangers...
Plenty of time! Plenty of time!
Plenty of time! Plenty of time!
Plus we need new boards, lights, and they're sending us a Zamboni.
Plus we need new boards, lights, and they're sending us a Zamboni.
Plus, this may be an old lady talking,
Plus, this may be an old lady talking,
Price World wants to come here,
Price World wants to come here,
Price World's not gonna come, Mom. We're not big enough, for God's sakes.
Price World's not gonna come, Mom. We're not big enough, for God's sakes.
Push over!
Push over!
Put a body in front of him!
Put a body in front of him!
Rangers go back to work now. Robertson to Wasson.
Rangers go back to work now. Robertson to Wasson.
Rangers on another rush. Three on two, wide across the ice.
Rangers on another rush. Three on two, wide across the ice.
Rangers press as Mystery breaks out.
Rangers press as Mystery breaks out.
Rangers take their first lead of the game, three to two,
Rangers take their first lead of the game, three to two,
Rangers win again. Duffin chased into the Mystery zone.
Rangers win again. Duffin chased into the Mystery zone.
Rangers win the draw. Back to Rory.
Rangers win the draw. Back to Rory.
Rangers win the draw. Robertson for the empty net!
Rangers win the draw. Robertson for the empty net!
Ready four? Take four.
Ready four? Take four.
Really?
Really?
Relying on Charlie Danner's word.
Relying on Charlie Danner's word.
Reputation? Price World tried to move up there, you opened fire.
Reputation? Price World tried to move up there, you opened fire.
Right here, Connor. Thanks. Hot, hot, hot!
Right here, Connor. Thanks. Hot, hot, hot!
Right.
Right.
Rival any team in the National Hockey League!"
Rival any team in the National Hockey League!"
Rules that keep everything bunched. It's a different kind of game.
Rules that keep everything bunched. It's a different kind of game.
Sarah Heinz.
Sarah Heinz.
Saturday after Saturday, for as long as anyone can remember.
Saturday after Saturday, for as long as anyone can remember.
Saved! Michan stacks the pads!
Saved! Michan stacks the pads!
Say it!
Say it!
Says he was aiming at a sack of Puppy Chow, trying to scare him.
Says he was aiming at a sack of Puppy Chow, trying to scare him.
Scores on demand. "
Scores on demand. "
Scores!
Scores!
Scott, I don't coach.
Scott, I don't coach.
Scott, you got a Zamboni here in Mystery, Alaska.
Scott, you got a Zamboni here in Mystery, Alaska.
Scott, you'll need him to play, right?
Scott, you'll need him to play, right?
Scotty. Hey.
Scotty. Hey.
Second degree assault.
Second degree assault.
See? You're the big guy.
See? You're the big guy.
Seem like a monumental request.
Seem like a monumental request.
Seriously, though. I mean, forget about me.
Seriously, though. I mean, forget about me.
Shame they couldn't take Skank with them, huh?
Shame they couldn't take Skank with them, huh?
She just smoked the hog, man. I wasn't myself.
She just smoked the hog, man. I wasn't myself.
She said as soon as Price World moved in,
She said as soon as Price World moved in,
She's riding me like a wet walrus,
She's riding me like a wet walrus,
Shit, they used to call you the Bear.
Shit, they used to call you the Bear.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
Shooting, passing, stick handling... The truth?
Shooting, passing, stick handling... The truth?
Simple.
Simple.
Since we broke up in the 12th grade.
Since we broke up in the 12th grade.
Six on five, with the empty net behind.
Six on five, with the empty net behind.
Skank Marden is a master of sticky sores... "
Skank Marden is a master of sticky sores... "
Skank Marden's been in this bed.
Skank Marden's been in this bed.
Skank, I'm sorry.
Skank, I'm sorry.
Skank, we're committing adultery. It's not like I threw in trust as a perk.
Skank, we're committing adultery. It's not like I threw in trust as a perk.
Skank, you in the middle.
Skank, you in the middle.
Skating, barbecues, snow.
Skating, barbecues, snow.
So I bring back the New York Rangers.
So I bring back the New York Rangers.
So that blocked shot must have really hurt, huh?
So that blocked shot must have really hurt, huh?
So that's what this is all about, Charlie?
So that's what this is all about, Charlie?
So the puck carrier is always facing three defensemen.
So the puck carrier is always facing three defensemen.
So why'd you wanna come? You never wanna come when I plough.
So why'd you wanna come? You never wanna come when I plough.
So, uh, you two have already,
So, uh, you two have already,
So, uh... Well, so did it?
So, uh... Well, so did it?
So, who are you gonna get?
So, who are you gonna get?
So, you're a producer, huh?
So, you're a producer, huh?
Somebody repeated to Silvie Walker,
Somebody repeated to Silvie Walker,
Someone who's not surprised, Brian.
Someone who's not surprised, Brian.
Son of a piss whore. Our town in Sports Illustrated.
Son of a piss whore. Our town in Sports Illustrated.
Soon, it'll be you out there.
Soon, it'll be you out there.
Sorry, Johnny.
Sorry, Johnny.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Sports Illustrated, for God's sakes.
Sports Illustrated, for God's sakes.
Stamina.
Stamina.
Starting to piss me off.
Starting to piss me off.
Stay high. All the way in, Stevie.
Stay high. All the way in, Stevie.
Stevie doesn't wanna sleep with me.
Stevie doesn't wanna sleep with me.
Stevie, how many fingers have I got? Hmm?
Stevie, how many fingers have I got? Hmm?
Stevie! Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!
Stevie! Stevie! Stevie! Stevie!
Still sleepin'?
Still sleepin'?
Stretch 'em out.
Stretch 'em out.
Sweetheart, I know your smiles.
Sweetheart, I know your smiles.
Take care.
Take care.
Take the sled, will ya? I wanna wait for the mail.
Take the sled, will ya? I wanna wait for the mail.
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