Little Voice (1998) Edit

A bit of a...

A brown envelope? What's on telly?

A little girl that's big... a northern light... a rising star...

A long time since I've been dragged down the Northern clubs, Say.

A spot of "Who do you do?" For Mr. Boo, like.

A talent... an undiscovered treasure...

A the one, a the only Little Voice, ladies and gentlemen!

A tribute to his life's loves.

About services and all that.

Acts that can be bothered. Night, all.

Ah, Sadie, it's me.

Ah, well, I didn't think he looked like the shirt liftin' type somehow.

Ah, yes, you little bastard.

All I can say is that she might stand an outside chance as a mime act.

All right, Mari? Okay?

All right, then. Get 'em back up.

All right?

All right?

All right.

All right. Well, hold him there. I'm coming down now.

All she did was keep it shaded and safe...

All that cooin' and flappin' and shittin' all over shop. They want shootin', them.

All you're doin' is gettin' in the way.

All you've got to do is step on from the side.

All your records all around ya.

An act of wonder, ladies and gentlemen.

And a gob on me for every occasion.

And after a while, it gave her his heart.

And all you can dream about is bloody Duane.

And at least there's the thick wad of his wallet...

And double me palpitations.

And even you squeak from time to time, don't ya?

And guess which exotic part of the world I came across tonight's star turn?

And he knows everyone.

And I always liked a man in a uniform, me.

And I'm not gonna leave here ever, ever again,

And let me rustle up one of Ray Say's famous breakfassays.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our first act...

And see 'em fly, and better still, see 'em back, well, it's, it's dead exciting.

And some shit tight bloody bra.

And the duck says, "Certainly not. What sort of duck do you think I am?"

And the lovely Elaine!

And the lovely, lucky Elaine!

And then sing to it and stroke it...

And together... you and me... we could set this place on fire.

And under the bloody stars.

And we all know what that entertainment is, don't we?

And you can do nothin' but whisper and whine like your father before you.

And you're feeling, "This is it."

And you're still in the way now.

And your nights and your nights and your nights...

And your nights and your nights...

And your pals and your nights...

And, to her great surprise,

Any new star you name, love, he got 'em started.

Anyway, pretty people, enough of me.

Are you receiving me?

Are you watching this or what?

Aren't we all, love. She'll be all right once she gets on there.

Arndale Centre weren't built in a day, you know.

As a matter of fact, here. Take one of me new cards.

As you know, Boo braves anything,

At all times,

At last! Yes! Yes!

Aye, but look at me, luvvy, eh?

Aye, callin' long distance, me.

Aye, well, I'm off out on the razz.

Aye, you see, that's all you get when she's upset...

Aye. Come in, Ray. Come in.

Aye. There's a big race today. They start off from France at 9:00.

Aye. Where's the first call?

Aye. You let 'em out, they fly around and come back.

Bangers and bubble and a fuck hot tea, ta. Twice.

Because we've pulled out all the stops for your Friday night frolickings!

Been workin' on the act... planning and that.

Believe me. Let's do it, eh?

Bit of gray matter and a bit of gray matter. All it takes.

Bit of nouse, bit of coat hanger, and, bingo, let there be light.

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth. But when, eh? When?

Bloody hell. All right, all right.

Bloody hell. That's gratitude for ya.

Bloody hell. This is it, eh?

Bloody marvelous, that. Who else you do?

Bluebirds.

Boo! Boo!

Boo's? You what?

Bright lights, a bit of glitz, snazzy frocks. All that.

But at least he knows how to slide and dart and take a throat.

But before it flew to its freedom,

But I'm a big noise in these parts.

But I've got 'em in the fuckin' used car business.

But she's going to have to in a minute, otherwise she'll be going on like she is.

But that's all in the future. That's to look forward to.

But we're not doin' it now.

But what she did was so simple.

But with fine lights.

But you wanna get this lot seen to, you know. Could bring the house down.

But, really, you're a devious little bastard, aren't ya?

But, Sadie, what a night I had me last night, eh.

By wasting my time listening to singers that don't sing.

Called, "It's Over."

Christ. Do you think I don't have birds I go to?

Clean and tidy. That's nice.

Come in.

Come on then. Lead us to the dotted line.

Come on, love. Enough of this.

Come on, love. Squeak to me, eh?

Come on, then. Let's roll about.

Come on! You can do better than that. How are you all doing? All right?

Come on. I've had enough of you lot tonight. Dress on now. Move it, will ya?

Come on. Look after me.

Come on. Off out of it. Make way for a woman in lust.

Come on. You can do better than that. How y'all doin'? All right?

Come on. You can do better than that. So how you all doin'?

Cooped up there in the dark all day, like a friggin' bird trapped in the rafters.

Couple of bloody nothin's, the pair of ya.

Crappaty records full bloody blast.

Curtains!

Dad.

Dad.

Darling.

Dead.

Did he ring, LV? Did he ding a ling? Eh?

Did you ever meet...

Did you get her dress from the dry cleaners okay? Yeah?

Did you not see her? Legs of jelly she had for me.

Didn't your mum tell you? No?

Do another one. Go on. Do some more.

Do anything. Anything. And, Jesus, look happy!

Do what?

Do without that sort of crap just before show, eh?

Do you want to give me an 'and?

Does, does that stand for something?

Don't come the fucking impresario with me.

Don't go. I'm just interested. You know, what with me being in show business myself, like.

Don't speak for a minute.

Don't spoil it, Raymondo. We go so well together.

Don't think she liked it. Won't be doin' it no more.

Don't worry, Billy.

Don't you think it's like puttin' me face in flowers after you?

Double, and a Campari chaser.

Down as likely as up,

Duane.

Duane's a pigeon, right?

Dump her home. Let's go eat.

Eh, and listen, you.

Eh, come on, lover. I'm mad for it here.

Eh, do it for your mum, eh?

Eh, don't know. Hello. You must be George's wife.

Eh, I'm doin' it now, Ray, love. Yes, I am.

Eh, it was Mr. Boo himself introduced us the other night.

Eh, listen. You, me, cafe, now. Last one out door pays, all right?

Eh, look at the red on him now. Lookie. Oh, dear.

Eh, speakin' of which, I can call Sadie on me new instrument.

Eh, you're too quiet to be me friend, you. Fuck off!

Eh, your mom's a live wire, ain't she? Bloody hell!

Eh? [Whispering] And fuck off.

Eh? And you know me.

End of story. Now come on, Ray.

Er, a big, flashy set.

Er, I forgot to leave you this... reading matter.

Er, mine's, mine's a double Scotch, Boo. I'll see you up there, eh?

Even taught one of them to talk once.

Ever!

Everything all right then?

Everything your throbbin' throat could desire, lover boy.

F Forgot to leave your, er, reading matter...

Fine lights.

Fine. Is that Duane?

Finished, fucking finished me.

First that little phone fart, and now you all droolin' over that little stick of shite.

Five lads all built like Buddha.

Five minutes, tell 'em. All right? Toodle pip.

Flyin' all over her house.

Flyin' free.

For fresh talent to spice up your midweek merriment here.

For God's sake, wise up, woman, eh?

For one not known for his over usage of words, you don't half pick 'em, do ya?

For the turn of turns... a the one, a the only...

For Wild Trigger Smith...

Freddie "Mr. Parrot Face" Davis?

Frig me. That's ama... That's amazing.

Fuck me.

Fuck off, ya jumped up little prat.

Fuck!

Fuckin' hell.

Giving Mr. Boo here a shufti at me clients.

Go on, love. Fire away.

Go on.

Go on. Go on. Go on. Sing.

Go on. I bet you can.

Go on. Slap some food about for me.

Go on. What's that you're eatin', anyway?

Go upstairs now, Sadie. See if star turn's ready.

God! The little bird's bleated and died with all the shock.

Goes anywhere in his perpetual quest...

Good boy. Jump!

Good fucking bye!

Got Boo to let us have another go. I've worked it all out.

Got it nice here, haven't you?

Guess who I just spoke to... only Bunny Morris.

Happens sometimes, once they're out.

Happy as a lark. Oh, there be no bloody croonin' for your dead mum.

Has, has Duane come home?

He knows all about showbiz, and all you have to do is sing.

He never spoke up to ya,

He puts 'em in all the big clubs and all the TV shows.

He wants you down anyway. Show Mr. Boo what you can do.

He went into a library in Essex...

He'll make it in anything, Ray Say.

He's down at Mr. Boo's nightclub all the time.

He's one of them lovable twat sorta types.

He's quiet, isn't he?

He's, er... He's not in yet.

Hello, me.

Hello?

Hello...

Her and that Shirley Bassey drinking our bloody cocoa.

Here he is... Mr. Ray Say.

Here it is.

Here you are. I've got you something.

Here, make me a cup of tea, LV, love.

Here's to the rise of rise of Little Voice.

Hey, did you win?

Hey, give us that paper, here.

Hey, speakin' of sparks,

Hey, stay calm. Don't get mad at me.

Hey, steady on. Billy's fond of his birds.

Hey, this one doesn't speak neither, love.

Hey, you, you twat!

Hey, you. What's this, then... one of them rave thingies?

Hey. So could you...

His daughter.

Hoff and on.

Hoff. Mari Hoff. Crappaty name, isn't it?

Hold on, Boo. It won't take a minute. Honest. She's dead special.

Honest, Mari, I, I can't believe it.

Honest. Wild bluebirds.

Huh? That would have really been something, eh?

Husband dead and out the way and all, eh?

I am the one?

I bet that Judy Garland never went on stage in her bloody pajamas,

I bet your dad would have liked that, eh?

I can do 1 4 7 1. It tells you who was ringin'.

I can't be doin' with that.

I can't start again, can I, now?

I can't start the day without some dribblin' fat, can I?

I can't wait, Mari, can you? I'm buzzing. Fit to burst. Big crowd, proper job.

I did meet Des O'Connor, though, and Charlie Williams.

I do 'em for all me artists... when we're on foreign engagements, you know.

I don't know what it is. My spine turns to custard.

I don't know. Have we got some entertainment for 'em tonight? Of course we have.

I don't think our paths ever crossed.

I found you, right?

I get goose pimply all over.

I got tits and all, you know...

I had an auntie once who was, though.

I had me doubts about her doin' again at first, but, well, he won me over.

I had something really special.

I had something... ladies and gentlemen.

I I never said anything about anything.

I I'll grant you that, no. But I can take care of that.

I In show business, yes?

I just had that feelin' in me twat bone.

I knew there was something down for us, me and red hot Ray.

I know you're there, LV.

I left it for you in case I missed you.

I love 'em. I'm up Pigeon Hill all the time, where lofts are.

I love it when you talk swanky.

I may not have friends in high places, Ray,

I meant the other one.

I never spoke up to ya,

I only ordered a phone, not a mobile bloody library.

I reckon you're better off up here.

I said "our souls," madam. The biggest thing in rock,

I shall go to the ball! Oh, you darlings from the sky!

I spend me life and me fortune in them slot boxes. Really, I do.

I suppose the biggest name I ever met was... Monroe.

I think I know how he feels.

I thought you were done, you.

I told you you was wasting your time on the little slit!

I wouldn't give one of these to just anyone, you know.

I, I gotta go, Mari, but what can I tell ya?

I, I heard about what you did tonight.

I, I've never felt like this before... about anyone!

I'll do anything. Just sing.

I'll do it.

I'll have... a cup of tea.

I'll just pop down and get me cigarillos.

I'll see you again somewhere then. Eh?

I'll see you, Billy.

I'm Billy. Can I ask you your name?

I'm frightened, Auntie Em! I'm frightened!

I'm gonna have to get someone else to look after her.

I'm nearly done.

I'm not one for collecting things meself.

I'm off then.

I'm pleased.

I'm shown up, which was more than she was, stood there in bloody dark.

I'm tellin' you you're sittin' on a gold mine...

I'm tired of getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

I'm tryin' to make an impression and she can't even be swivel to a friend,

I'm wearin' me share price knickers tonight,

I've got to be off. Got other acts to see.

I've seen a lot of big talent wasted in my time.

If anyone phones before I return,

If he rates 'em, that's it. Nobody says no to Bunny Morris, and neither did I.

If you could ask her or her or her,

In fact, now that I look at 'em, it's the same band. [Chuckles]

In our heads and in his wanderin' hands.

In show business,

Instead of that lousy, dopey drip of a dead dad!

Is Mr. Say there presently, please?

It stopped... on the window ledge.

It's all right, Mari. She's just tired. Bright lights and all that.

It's all right. They know me. We're in for a grand night tonight!

It's happened at last, eh?

It's just one of those once in a lifetime things, eh?

It's like at the races when you know you're on to a certainty,

It's like there's a circus parade passin' over me paps!

It's LV. She's dead tired. She's really...

It's Mari Hoff.

It's not all glamour, this game.

It's one of the services mentioned I i i in the readin' matter.

It's only me.

It's what I've been lookin' for for ages.

Just for a few hours, 'cause, look, we're cutting things a bit fine now.

Just go!

Just... stay calm and relax.

King of cabaret... manager of miracles.

Later, when it grew strong,

Let me open that front door...

Let's fly! Come on. Let's go for a fly.

Li i i i...

Like at home.

Like one of them answerin' thingies. You can only leave messages, like.

Like the twinkling star that you are.

Like you're only interested in these bloody things here.

Lions and tigers and bears! Oh, my!

Listen to concerts.

Listen, calm down, calm down. She'll be along in a sec.

Listen, LV. Listen.

Listen, Say. I didn't get where I am today by wasting my time...

Listen. Then it's down to the harbor for a pronto snog.

Little Voice!

Little Voice.

Look at it. Just a pile of old junk no fucker wants.

Look, just don't let them do it to ya.

Look. It's gold.

Lookie here, little sparkle neck me.

Love, luvvy. Don't worry. It's only us... me and Ray.

LV, cool it!

LV, I'm worried. Are you all right?

LV, management is here.

LV, uh...

LV, we out of bacon?

LV!

LV!

LV! You got ten fucking seconds!

Mari, you look...

Marvelous with 'em she was and all.

Maybe they'll be there.

Me heart in me mouth, his hands up me skirt...

Me home, me walls,

Me name's Laura.

Me telly, me phone.

Me. Always remember that.

Mention bacon and eggs and she shifts like Linford friggin' Christie!

Mi i i ister Boo!

Mr. Boo would like you to sing at his club on stage.

Music ringin' in my bloody ears.

Music.

My ass. My golden old ass in Ray Say's hand...

My crap house, and you know what they say,

My dad used to bring me here.

N No, I forgot to leave this, er, readin' matter. It tells you...

Never felt like this before about anyone, he says.

Never mind. That's it, then, eh?

Next day or something... when hubby's out,

Nice tune, that.

No Gracey airs, and if you don't like it, you can piss off out of it.

No problem. Pas de problemo.

No, feathered variety... pigeons and that.

No, I mean, thanks for gettin' me out.

No, I'm all right. I'm all right. All right.

No, it can't wait. No.

No, it's not all right. She spoils everything, her.

No, uh... No, that weren't a chicken, was it? Uh...

No?

No? What, and me all dressed up and no place to go?

No. I'm afraid we're not quite that advanced yet.

No. No, no. Not yet.

No. That's her. That's LV.

No. The car, Boo. The car.

No. Well, I, I, I was just thinking we, we could have included them, uh, in the, er,

Not back from France yet.

Not dazzling, like you,

Not fond of pigeons neither, is she?

Not in yet? That's not like your Duane.

Not with this. It's foolproof.

Nothin'.

Now we're cookin', aren't we? You hear about this chicken?

Now, look. I know you're a bit on the quiet side,

Now, then, I'd thought you'd be showin' up here sooner or later. You goin' in?

Of neglect!

Oh, aren't you tired?

Oh, aye. Yeah.

Oh, bloody hell. Here's me imaginin' all sorts of slap and tickle,

Oh, bloody hell. What now?

Oh, but, Ray, it were crap awful, weren't it?

Oh, Come on, LV, love, whatever it is that's buggin' ya, just let it stop, eh?

Oh, come on, phone. Ring.

Oh, come on! LV, love, please.

Oh, do somethin' for me, for Christ's sake,

Oh, for fuck's sake, speak, girl.

Oh, hello. Um...

Oh, I don't know what to say now.

Oh, I don't know, Sadie. Maybe this once...

Oh, I know. I'm sorry, darling.

Oh, I know. Your records.

Oh, I, I don't go out. [Sniffles]

Oh, I'm just friggin' into him so!

Oh, just working, you know.

Oh, Mr. Boo's.

Oh, my God! I've blinded me god.

Oh, no! He's here! He's here! Jesus! Jesus!

Oh, no. Not Duane.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, shove something on, something for me, LV, love.

Oh, sod this. I'm off down the cafe, me.

Oh, stop it. Me ears won't take it.

Oh, take it back. I don't like the front.

Oh, that. Oh, okay.

Oh, that's all right.

Oh, the music was in our heads...

Oh, up and down and down and up...

Oh, well, there you go.

Oh, well. Never mind. Er, let's plonk you down here, love,

Oh, what am I doin', and in front of you?

Oh. Right.

Oh... go on. Drop her off.

Ohh.

Ohh. Liquor, lacquer. Liquor, lacquer.

Okay. Leg over and out.

Old enough to be your bloody grandma.

On and on and friggin'...

On stage, down at Boo's.

One love, his songs,

Only debts. [Laughs]

Only the wires of me home's cracklin' up on me.

Ooh, but them uniforms are not very becomin'.

Ooh, I'll be wired up to the world soon, me... in touch with all parts.

Ooh! [Screams]

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Or stop at home for a bleeding quiet night in. Be a real riot, that would.

Order and hush. Hush and order...

Other people who are, well, still alive.

Other people who...

Over the fuckin' rainbow, eh?

Ow! Bloody hell!

Put me right off, that has.

Ray gun. Me very own Ronnie Ray gun.

Ray Say.

Ray, love, there's, um...

Ray, no. What are you sayin'?

Ray. Sun Ray. Sting Ray.

Ray'll be here in a minute and your mum's getting just a little bit fucking irate, all right?

Ray's going to kill me. He's going to throttle me.

Reading matter.

Reading matter. That's the best one.

Recent bacon, I mean.

Remember that. It's Ray who's the big shot. [Chuckles]

Right, you. You got a fuckin' second to get in shape.

Right. If you could just sign this, Mrs., er...

Right. Sod the bitch. We'll have our own on.

Route bloody One... London, Leeds, Las Vegas.

Sadie, love, you pick up the dress?

Sang.

Screwin' around more like. You come on all quiet...

See ya, then.

See, Sadie? It's a love token.

Sees the return of young Little Voice.

Seriously, LV. It'll never happen again.

She could've made an effort and done some Spice Girls or something, for Christ's sake!

She did the whole thing to spite Mother. I know her.

She just needs a, a big band or something to boost her confidence...

She plays records all the time.

She set it free.

She's a redhead, my wife. No hair, just a read head. [Feeble Chuckling]

Shh, shh!

Shh! I'm listening.

Shipley Street. Domestic installation.

Shirley Bassey?

Shirley? Dear old Shirley? Shirley, Shirley, Shirley.

Sing, for fuck's sake. Sing!

Sing! Like what you do best anyway.

So a big welcome, please, to Wild Trigger Smith...

So I don't know why she wants to.

So please give a big Mr. Boo welcome...

So smack one hand against t'other, if you will, for the turn of turns return!

So, how you all doin'? All right?

Something I'll never forget. Fuck.

Someways I wish I could lash it 'round me finger.

Sorry, George. Sorry.

Start of the war, Bobby Moore.

Steady, steady. Steady.

Stop clinging, will ya? You're all over me all the time, like the bloody pox.

Stop messin' about. We're late.

Strong winds forecast. Don't like winds, don't Duane.

Sung by his only other love...

Ta da!

Ta very much, but just... flap off.

Take Fat!

Takes time to get dressed up like this.

Talk finer details and finances.

Telephone Bill. Little Birdy boy.

Tell 'em... she'll be back.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks very much, Mr. Cable.

That fucker fate's smilin' down on us, eh?

That happens to the best of 'em, you know.

That I am, sexy. Well and truly plugged in.

That lass.

That will freak her flabby ass.

That's because they can't fucking hack it.

That's my fuckin' daughter!

That's right, isn't it, Ray?

That's what homin' pigeons do... except Duane, like.

That's what I said. Well, Boo's a man of his word, I'm afraid.

The adorable Mr. Ray Say, ladies and gentlemen,

The bluebird under the moon and over the stars.

The chuckle bag himself:

The compare of all compares;

The door that leads to success.

The fixer. Bunny "Mr. Starmaker" Morris.

The funniest man ever to have been on television;

The lights. It's the lights.

The little stick who wrecks everything.

The man the Northern Echo called "quite amusing";

The manager says, "Do you want that condom on your bill, sir?"

The one with music.

The only good pigeons are in pies.

The overall effect I want, Frank, is like Las Vegas.

The tiny little slit!

The voice of a thousand stars. The girl with the greats queuing up in her gullet!

The world's finest emcee;

Them three there.

Then it turned to her...

Then it's back to your place for a, a listen.

Then what'd you be like, eh, with me murdered? Oh, be up and about, then, I suppose.

There you go. Best I can do.

There's no way that you're coming with me and her to better things. No way, love.

There's people other than your dad who, well,

There's the makings of a first class act there... real class.

They don't get much respect, do they?

They go on till you do.

They like it.

They never bloody started. Bunny Morris. Bunny "Starmaker" Morris.

They trying to make you do it again?

They'd all tell you the same thing.

They're stuck in her head and she can sing 'em and it gets on my wick.

They've all had nights like that, you know. Isn't that right, Judy?

Think about... Judy.

Think about... Marilyn.

Think about... Shirley.

Think of the fuckin' neighbors!

Thirty nine, sixty six and me age, twenty eight.

This is me crappaty home, and this is how I am, Ray.

This night off? This night? This is the night, love!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is me.

Though what you want to get your leg over that for I'll never know.

Thought things couldn't go downhill with you, Ray. What am I gonna tell 'em?

Timid little thing, it was. No bigger... than your thumb.

Tits, gob and an ass to die for, me!

To be honest, love, as I remember,

To Brenda Bailey and her farmyard frolics.

Today this crap house, tomorrow the bloody world.

Tonight, for the second consecutive night in a row,

Too bloody right, Sadie. Get up there and get it on.

Too scared even to leave his cage.

True story, that.

Try as I do, I cannot say no to that man.

Ttl l l le...

Turn out the lights.

Two seconds and his hand's on me ass.

Two things... that's all you had to do... get the dress and have her ready.

Une tasse de the a la Ray.

Up you get. Come on. Come on.

Up yours, stick leg.

Very nice.

Very, very soft every day.

Voi oi oi oice!

W Why did you want to come down here?

We go nowhere. For a start, you're past it. You're body's gone.

We haven't had a band in here this big since VE Day.

We just... m missed a call.

We We'll do, we'll do, we'll do "Chicago."

We'll never be off the telly. MFI Friday, Letterman... he'll fix 'em all.

Welcome to Mr. Boo's. I'm Mr. Boo.

Well, a man with a plan or what, eh? My Ray.

Well, er, she's not what you'd call a performer.

Well, I saw him again last night.

Well, if it's a roller coaster of unbridled excitement you're after,

Well, it saves on travel expenses, don't it?

Well, it's just like I said. She'll not sing. I told you.

Well, mine has.

Well, never mind then, eh?

Well, say hello.

Well, that's it. I give up.

Well, we've got, we've only got one more.

Went to see the girl, George...

What a friggin' championship night!

What a tongue he has on him, eh, Sadie? Half raspberry, half razor.

What are you on about? Bunny Morris is there. He's there now, waiting.

What are you talkin' about, relax? Look at her!

What did I say? What did I say?

What did I tell ya? I said if you didn't laugh at my jokes, I'd sing.

What do you say we continue our little conversation down the cafe, eh?

What do you think you're bloody playin' at?

What do you want, anyway?

What the fuck am I gonna do?

What was she like?

What will I do, eh?

What, her up... Oh, Jesus.

What?

What? Oh, frig me, no!

What? She's not even dressed? We can't have this, Mari.

What're you doin'? Here, get this on.

What's happened here, then, little match girl?

What's he doin' in France?

What's it like then, eh? To watch your master at work.

What's the number again? Oh, no. Don't tell me. I remember.

What's up with you lot? Never had a shag in a Chevy?

What's up? Cat got your tongue?

What's up? Hey, angel.

Whatever, whatever.

When Bunny sees her, he'll do the same.

When he had his records on, he sparkled.

When you need to be concentrating your mind.

When your clothes go, I can't keep track of it. It's all over the place.

Where do I fit in, eh? Need a fuckin' second class act?

Where's LV? Have you seen Ray Say or LV?

Where's she then?

Which are your dad's favorites?

While he stands there tellin' jokes to Mr. Boo.

Who might think something of you, and, ah,

Who'd want me anyway, hmm?

Whoops. There she goes again...

Wife? You bastard!

Will you bear with me? Uh, anyway, as they say in the business,

With a little song about his show business career...

With what you did last night, you know.

With your men and your shouting...

Won't be a tic.

Worked it all out, he has. Gonna take us all to Tarby land.

Works every time. Bedtime readin', I call it.

Would you like me to get it for ya?

Yeah, but we're not comin' down, Boo. Up to the sky we're goin'. Up to the bloody sky.

Yeah, he is. He's comin' here, honest. I gotta pick him up at the Grand at 7:00.

Yeah, well, we'll get a few quick drinks down us,

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. A shame.

Yeah. Of course I do. I'll see you at the Red Lion, okay? All right, love. See ya.

Yeah. Well, I mean, it's similar, innit? I mean, similar case, Tina.

Yes!

You are a star, you.

You are bloody doin' it, girl!

You are my discovery.

You can imagine me feelin's on signin' marriage register... Mr. And Mrs. F. Hoff.

You could go out, you two, for a silent night, holy night.

You did it again, didn't you? And again, tonight, it says.

You don't know nothin' about electrickery, do ya?

You drove him as fast as you could to an early grave!

You go back with the reading matter... leaflets and that.

You great long streak of piss!

You have a nice night in with your pals, eh?

You have a remarkable daughter, Mrs. Hoff.

You know him. Everyone knows him.

You know him. He's agent to the stars...

You know me, Boo. I wouldn't bring you down here for nothing.

You know what I mean.

You know what I'm on about.

You know... the act.

You like Marilyn, yeah?

You look a bit on peckish side to me.

You look like you been chucked in a tool bag, you.

You look stunning, Sadie. We gonna have a dance down there later, eh?

You remember him? The singing bus conductor.

You run a club that no one in their right mind wants to go to.

You should try it sometime, LV.

You should've seen me. Queen for a night, I was.

You suddenly remember a socket ya unplugged, eh?

You tell jokes that no one in their right mind wants to laugh at.

You tell them I'll be back in five minutes, all right?

You want to see her? Then sod off down club and pay like everyone else.

You were in the way the first night I heard her,

You what?

You won't even look at it?

You'll have a cup of tea!

You'll have to come up there with me, LV. See for yourself.

You'll love it... everything tailored to your personality.

You'll never guess what she collected.

You'll never guess who.

You're a nothing, Boo. It's me with the contacts now, me with the friends in the high places.

You're a nutter.

You're all right, love?

You're just damn selfish and useless, you.

You're not gonna let a little hiccup like tonight put you off, are you?

You're on.

You've got him thinking you can do something or something.

You've had it, Mari.

You've not opened your beak all day to eat or to squeak.

Your dad must have spent years buildin' up a collection like this.

Your phone's ringin'.

Your very ow w w wn...

"Too, too true, boo boo be doo." Don't!

[Angry Shouting] ♪ Two, three, four ♪♪ Ray!

[Applause] ♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪

[Beeps] Are you messin' with that Mari Hoff?

[Bell Ringing] Hiya.

[Bell Rings] Perk, girl. Perk!

[Boisterous Response] That's more like it.

[Boo Continues, Indistinct] All you've gotta do is stand here and sing.

[Buzzing] [Man's Voice Muffled] ♪ I'm gonna love you ♪

[Car Door Closes] [Engine Starts]

[Chattering] [Man] Get off!

[Chattering] ♪ Goldfinger ♪

[Cheering] Thank you.

[Chuckles] [Laughs]

[Clicking] [Gasps]

[Cooing] ♪ The mill ♪

[Cork Pops] [Boo] Well, a star is bloody born or what, eh?

[Crackling, Crashing] [Phonograph Slows To Stop] ♪ I wanna die ♪♪

[Crackling] Fuckin' house!

[Crashing] [Billy] LV!

[Creaking] ♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

[Disgruntled Murmurings] I love her terribly, I do. That's what she says, anyway.

[Door Opens] Oh, I've got to go.

[Door Opens] See ya.

[Drumroll] ♪ Keep them doggies rollin' Rawhide ♪

[Elaine Screams] [Audience Gasps]

[Electrical Cracking] Fuck! Fuckin' house!

[Gags] Wait a minute.

[Gasps] [Clicks] [Ray] Normal service resumed, eh?

[Gasps] I'm just checking to see if your wires are all right.

[George] Now then. [Gasps]

[Glass Shatters] This is crazy, Ray. The punters can't see.

[Groans] [Chuckles]

[Horn Honking] ♪ No more ♪

[Imitates Marilyn Monroe] See what I mean? Not very bright. [Nervous Chuckling]

[Imitating Gracie Fields] So hurry before they shut the gate. Save it for the punters.

[Imitating Marilyn Monroe] ♪ I want to be loved by you ♪ [Applause]

[Kicks] [Groans]

[Laughing, Groaning] ♪ That's a dream of romance on the scene ♪

[Laughing] [Boo] What are you havin', love?

[Laughing] [Ringing Continues]

[Laughing] And two seconds, Sadie, I fib you not...

[Laughing] Mari! ♪ One hundred... ♪ Oh!

[Laughs] [Horn Honks]

[Laughs] Oh, aye? Yeah.

[Man] Nearly done. Goodley.

[Man] Oh, I bet you did. Hey, watch it, sparks. Sparkler.

[Mari Grunts] [LV Screaming]

[Mari] She'll not come down. [Ray] What?

[Moaning, Yelling] [Spring Snaps]

[Mumbling] [Door Slams]

[Needle Scratches] [Doorbell Rings]

[Needle Scratches] [Music Stops]

[Needle Scratches] ♪♪ [Pop]

[Phone Dialing] Bloody hell, I don't even know who I'm ringin' here.

[Ray] Sing what you like. He'll pay. Good money and all.

[Rim Shot] How y'all doin'? All right?

[Scattered Shouts] That's more like it. Have we got some entertainment tonight.

[Shouting] Because I could never get a word in! [Whimpering]

[Singing Continues] Oh, sod it.

[Siren Continues] ♪ Anymore ♪

[Slaps] [Imitating Cilla Black] Hello, number one.

[Sniffs] [Radio: Chattering, Indistinct]

[Sobbing] [Siren Wailing]

[Squeaking Continues] Up against your tit for comfort.

[Squeaking] Oh, lip lappin' like old hell.

[Stammering] [Door Opens]

[TV: Cheering] Ladies and gentlemen,

[TV: Shouting] Oh, sod that.

[Wings Flapping] Hey, fuck off, Romeo!

[Woman Singing, Indistinct] [Laughing Continues]

♪ Burnin' ♪ ♪ To my surprise ♪

♪ Da da da da da da ♪ ♪♪ [Whistling Continues]

♪ Da da da da da da da da da ♪ He's comin' back here.

♪ For a flying honeymoon ♪ [Clicks]

♪ Get up, get up, get up ♪ Get up, you.

♪ Golden words he will pour in your ear ♪ [Drill Whirring]

♪ Hah, hah ♪ Sadie!

♪ His asking for more ♪ [Engine Idling]

♪ I can't help it ♪♪ [Applause]

♪ I'm with you rain or shine ♪ [Woman] Stupid, isn't it?

♪ It's over ♪ [Siren Blaring]

♪ It's over ♪ There's no place like home.

♪ It's over ♪ There's no place like home.

♪ It's perfect ♪ [Clicks]

♪ It's the kiss of death ♪ [Man] Come on!

♪ It's the kiss of death ♪ There you go. Thanks.

♪ Like lemon drops ♪ What are you saying, Mari?

♪ My heart belongs to Daddy ♪ I'm just seeing if your wires are all right.

♪ Once I get you up there ♪ Come on now!

♪ Only gold ♪ [Chattering]

♪ Over the rain ♪ She can make them come true.

♪ Pretty girl ♪ [People Chattering]

♪ So I want to warn you, laddie ♪ Are you a telly fan?

♪ Someday I'll wish upon a star ♪ Oh, Elvis breath.

♪ Somewhere ♪ "Dreams that you dare to dream," eh?

♪ Somewhere ♪ That's never her.

♪ That little old man he just plays it so good ♪ Talkin' to yourself and all?

♪ The man with the Midas touch ♪ [Continues, Indistinct]

♪ The rainbow ♪ We've been shoveling shit long enough, you and me.

♪ There's music in the clatter of the clogs ♪♪ I'm warnin' you, LV.

♪ To dine on my fine finnan haddie ♪ ♪♪ [Whistling]

♪ Up there where the air ♪ LV, will you shut that up?

♪ We'll just glide ♪ Come on, then.

♪ Weather wise ♪ [Man] Oi!

♪ Where the villain is mean ♪ [Laughing, Shouting Continue]

♪ Your cares fly away ♪ [Audience Whooping]

♪♪ ["Come Fly With Me"] [Mumbles]

♪♪ ["Old MacDonald"] [Yipping]

♪♪ [Band Joins In] [Audience Exclaims]

♪♪ [Big Band] Oh! Here we go!

♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct] [Ray] Marvelous... up there in the dark.

♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct] No.

♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct] Right. We're all done.

♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct] Who's on the phone?

♪♪ [Continues] Ray wants ya downstairs.

♪♪ [Doo wop, Indistinct] Ray Say. Oh, hello, love.

♪♪ [Elvis Singing, Indistinct] Has that slight look of Elvis about him.

♪♪ [Fanfare] [Applause]

♪♪ [Humming] ♪ But his lies can't disguise what you fear ♪

♪♪ [Singing Continues] ♪ It's not unusual to be loved by anyone ♪

♪♪ [Stops] You'll love this next one, Mr. Boo. Singing combo...

♪♪ [Whistling Continues] ♪ Yes, my heart ♪

♪♪ [Woman Singing, Indistinct] Hey, you! Trash the calypso!

Aah! What? What? Kiss me, Ray.

And me daughter. How do you do?

and me mind on his meat and veg. [Mari Yapping]

Anyway, it can be boring to the nonenthusiast. Oh, no.

At Boo's club. They made me.

Aye, don't I bloody know. Well, Ray. We must have her, if you can arrange it.

Aye. Just about back to normal now, I reckon. Yeah.

because I love you all. ♪♪ [Continues]

Better be good. Oh, yeah. Great, eh?

Boo. Boo who?

But don't be crossy with your darling puss puss. Never mind all that crap.

But I don't believe it. Oh, God, Ray.

But, Ray... Ray, Ray, Ray, what?

Clark Gable in a bag. Or should I say "Clark Cable"? [Man Laughing]

Coming bearing good news, m'lady. Stupendous news, actually.

Cool it, will ya? ♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]

Could be up to 50 quid, right? Yeah, and that's just to start.

Could she not have this night off? This night off?

Cut that racket, girl! Calm down. She's all right.

Do an extra five minutes. I'll do it blindfolded.

Do you go out much? No.

Do you not want a ride home? Yeah.

Don't be so fucking pathetic. [Rim Shot]

Don't push her too hard. She needs pushing. That's the point.

Don't shout my name too loud. I'll think you don't like me. [Man Groans]

Don't! ♪ The lights ♪

Drivin' me round in his lovable twat mobile. [Screaming]

Duane? [Window Slams Open]

Duane? Aye... me best bird.

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. Wha Wha What's that? [Laughing]

Eh? Gin.

Elaine, are you still there? ♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]

Every God sented sec. [Singing Continues]

F Feedin'. Feedin' my ass.

Feed and exercise twice a day. Exercise?

five lads from Grimsby who have a history of touching assholes. [Woman Cackling]

Fuck me. Not now, Ray, we got a show to do. Ha ha!

Fuckin' house! Ray!

Furniture? Now, then, a novelty act...

Get 'em off, Boo! You go on. It's not right. They're doin' fine.

Get the lights back up. ♪ Happy birthday ♪

Give us another one, Ray! [Laughing]

Good looker, eh, Boo? Just as well, with that mouth.

Good lookin' on top and then that. [Door Closes]

Good nipples. Heating's off. That's why.

Had to. They were going mad in here tonight. "Once," we said.

He did. Yeah.

He motored me round about a million miles an hour. [Screaming Continues]

He wasn't there. And what was she singing? What the hell was that?

He'll be in before dark. Aye.

He's only comin' here tomorrow night to see her. No!

Hello, Billy, lad. Arthur.

Hello? [Billy] LV?

Hello. Eh, listen.

Hey, you should get out more often. [Chuckles] Heh!

Hey, you're not the famous phone Bill, are ya? [Both Laughing]

Hold on. Thank you, lo... ♪ For a golden girl ♪

Homing pigeons. Oh.

How are ya, sexy? Okay.

How are you all doing? All right? [Crowd Mutterings]

I can predict rain with that. [Laughing] [Laughing]

I finished work hours ago. [Sighs]

I had a dream. There's no place like home.

I thought... Just to talk to her, like.

I warned you... [lmitates Judy Garland] Shame on you!

I wasn't worrying about work. I'm worrying about Duane. Duane?

I'll just ring through and test the line. Oh!

I'll see you at the Seabirds later. [Tires Screeching]

I'm just seein' if your... If your wires are all right. ♪ So I simply couldn't be bad ♪

I'm not having this. You can't bloody concentrate. ♪ That's entertainment ♪

I've even got a talent scout coming down. Oh, give us your lips, you,

I've just seen your bird. Where?

I've, I've got to go. Bye. LV?

Is there anybody there? Or has he been disconnected? [Laughing]

It is. ♪ Over the rainbow ♪ No.

It's Bunny Morris. Bunny Morris?

It's natural, that. Had a girl recently wouldn't say boo to a goose.

It's private. Private, my privates.

Jesus Christ. Hey! Watch me furniture, you!

Just once. Yeah.

Knock, knock. [All] Who's there?

Leave her! She's all right! Hey!

Leave it! Aah! [Sizzles] Oh!

Leave the latch off, eh? What about me then?

Let's roll. ♪ Fools will be fools ♪

Little Voice, ladies and gentlemen! [Applause]

Little Voice. Oh, on account of bein' soft spoken, like.

LV, come on. [Imitates Judy Garland] Run, Toto, run!

LV, I know you're there. I just want... [Bird Flaps Wings, Coos]

LV, why? [Imitates Munchkin] ♪ Because Because, because, because ♪

LV! My baby! [Man] It's all right, love. Everybody's out.

LV. ♪♪ [Men Scatting] Oh.

Marilyn Monroe. Oh, yeah. Right.

Marilyn? Matt.

Mine are the same. All right, love.

More on than Hoff, I should imagine. [Woman] Excuse me!

Move it. [Dog Barking]

N No. You're all right. When you let 'em go...

Never! [Squeals] Who's Bunny Morris?

No, no. We're just phone boys, us. [Phone Ringer Rings]

No! [Ray] Yeah!

No! No? Listen. Ray'll look after ya.

No. Christ. Trigger, you better string it out a bit.

No. Goin' anywhere on your holidays?

No. Yeah.

No. Yeah. [Singing Continues]

No. Yeah. [Kissing Continues]

No. Yes.

not over a bloody rainbow, but up there in that bedroom. ♪ That's where you'll find ♪

noveler than any I know. [Laughter]

Now come on downstairs! [Gasps] Don't you dare touch these!

Now she's toppin' the bill at the Reform Club. Who's that? That stripper?

Now were you? No.

Now's our chance to step out of it. ♪♪ [Continues, Indistinct]

Oh, give over. We haven't got the time. Eh, lover...

Oh, here we go again. That's Judy.

Oh, Jesus. Guess what.

Oh, no. No. What?

Oh, no. You forgot it. I've been so busied with her, Ray.

Oh, what a life life can be! ♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

Oh, you, you little raver. ♪♪ [Woman Singing, Indistinct]

Oh! LV?

Oh. ♪ So I want to warn you, laddie ♪

Our chance? Oh, I'm going nowhere without you, girl.

Our fave bloody rave! ♪♪ [Disco]

Ow. Oh, Raymondo!

Pigeons. Aye. I keep 'em, you know.

Please go. It's not healthy being cooped up here...

Plush up the bandstand, big musical notes... ♪ He's the man ♪

Put her in the back. I'm stoppin' here.

Ray. Hmm?

Right, Phil. Yes, Mr. Hoskins.

Sadie, give that a once over with iron, eh? Okay.

Say hi, Bill. Hello. Bill?

Scunthorpe, if she's lucky. You're not interested?

She got her own radio up there? Eh?

She'll go far, this one. Yeah, she will and all.

She's our chance, Mari. ♪ Over ♪

She's the one. [Footsteps Departing]

Shipley Street. [Applause]

Shoo! Shoo, fly. Fly. Go on, up!

Spare ticket now if you want one. Sorry.

Stop it. [Imitates Shirley Bassey] ♪ When you smile, smile, smile ♪

Ta. Thank you. Ta. A big hand, ladies and gentlemen, [Audience Murmuring]

Thanks, Billy. Yeah, all right. It's just old stuff from the van.

That's right. ♪ We're gonna be goin' to the promised land ♪

There are no wires. Eh?

There you go. Oh, it, it don't give a name, then?

There you go. Oh.

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. ♪ It's over ♪

This has come to a lot more than I thought, Frank. ♪ For a golden girl ♪

This is Little Voice's mum. Oh, aye. Once in a lifetime thing, Ray tells me.

Thought she were... interestin'. Interestin', like off her bloody rocker, you mean.

Tomorrow? We're on tomorrow night and all? Yeah.

Uh... Oh, it's gone. [Audience Members] Boo! Bollocks! Boo!

Up here on the stage... [Continues, Indistinct] ♪ A spider's touch ♪

We could do a lot with that. Right, Mari, love. Me and Boo are off up the pub.

We're on our way together. [Imitates Judy Garland] ♪ Happy together ♪

What are they called? Take Fat.

What are you laughin' at? [Chuckles]

What for? You know what for.

What, never? [Footsteps Approaching]

What? [Kissing]

What? Young Birdy boy's already been and done all that.

What's your name, where'd you come from? What?

Whatcha havin', Raymondo? What you got?

When I think of what might've been, eh? There's no place like home.

Who made you? Him and her.

With exercise? [Wings Flapping]

Yeah, and with half as much plaster. [All Laugh]

Yeah. [Moaning] Oh, no.

Yeah. Can you do her as well?

Yee haa! Just remember where you got your start...

Yes! [Mari] Bloody hell, Sadie. The bastard wants me!

You got Judy Garland in there. Oh, aye. She's round here all the time...

You might feel shy. Oh, nothin' wrong with being shy at first.

You smooth talker, you. You know Mr. Boo, don't you, eh?

You've gotta... ♪ Where ♪

'Cause I'm one high razzamatazz in here today, me.

'Cause the man and his music...

'cause you would never listen.

"It sure is, Mr. Say." And what about you, Marilyn?

"Just once," we said.

"My Heart Belongs To Daddy."

"Shouldn't shit on folk on way up, 'cause you're bound to meet 'em on way down."

[All Cheering]

[Applause, Cheering Continues]

[Applause]

[Bell Ringing]

[Bell Rings]

[Billy Softly] See ya, Arthur.

[Billy] LV!

[Birds Fluttering, Wailing]

[Birds Wailing]

[Boo] Anyway, on with the show, ladies and gentlemen.

[Boo] Aye, aye. I've had to cancel Silverados and Gringo Hodges.

[Boo] Ladies and gentlemen, will you welcome, please, on this night of all nights...

[Boo] Welcome, welcome, welcome. Yea, thrice welcome to Mr. Boo's.

[Boo] Well, I'm sorry, Ray, but Boo's a busy man.

[Both Laughing]

[Both Laughing]

[Chattering, Laughing]

[Chattering, Laughing]

[Chirping]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles]

[Chuckles] Been cut off? I've got a daughter like that.

[Clattering]

[Clicking]

[Clicking]

[Clicks Tongue] Well, all salvage crap's out on back roof, LV, love.

[Cooing]

[Coughing Continues]

[Cracking] ♪ Your baby doesn't love you any more ♪

[Dogs Whining, Barking]

[Door Opens, Closes]

[Door Slams]

[Doorbell Rings]

[Electrical Crackling]

[Feedback]

[Fluttering]

[Gasping] Okay.

[Gasps]

[Groaning]

[Grunting]

[Gulls Cawing]

[High Pitched Voice] In show business...

[Imitates Judy Garland] I know... I'll sing 'em all and we'll stay all night.

[Imitating Billie Holiday] ♪ I don't know why ♪

[Imitating Gracie Fields] ♪ Sing as we go and let the world go by ♪

[Imitating Gracie Fields] But the villain only laughed! [Screeching]

[Imitating Gracie Fields] Never mind your teeth! Leave 'em out!

[Imitating Judy Garland] ♪ For you've been through ♪

[Imitating Judy Garland] ♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪

[Imitating Judy Garland] Hello, everybody. This is Mrs... Norman... Maine.

[Imitating Judy Garland] Lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my!

[Imitating Judy Garland] More? Do you really want more?

[Imitating Judy Garland] This is my room... and you're all here...

[Imitating Marilyn Monroe] ♪ Happy birthday ♪

[Imitating Marilyn Monroe] ♪ Look what you started This conflagration ♪

[Imitating Marilyn Monroe] I have this thing about saxophone players.

[Imitating Shirley Bassey] ♪ The minute you walked in the joint ♪

[Key Wavering] ♪ Your baby won't be near you ♪

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

[Laughing] Christ! I don't believe that.

[Laughing] Hey, don't just go off like that, you rude...

[Laughing] Hey, true story, this. Two...

[Laughing] Me late husband Frank left it me.

[Laughing] See? There she goes.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[lmitating Marlene Deitrich] ♪ Men cluster to me ♪

[LV, Faint] ♪ Somewhere ♪

[Man Coughing]

[Man On Radio] Certainly stripped to the waist.

[Man] Bangers, mash, fuck hot tea times two.

[Man] Yeah, we're late, thanks to you and Tweetie Pie back there.

[Man] You stick with me, son. You'll learn a few tricks.

[Mari Cackling, Screaming]

[Mari, Ray Laughing]

[Mari] Ah, well, you'd best advance on out then, eh?

[Mari] Didn't I say to you, though, Sadie, eh?

[Mari] Embarrassin'. One hundred bloody chunk embarrassin', that.

[Mari] God, she's a misery. A miserable bloody misery.

[Mari] Hey, you. You've blown me fuse!

[Mari] No, she's not moved, Sadie, love.

[Mari] Oh, God. You make me sick, you lot.

[Mari] Ray friggin' Say.

[Mari] Right. Are we set, then, or what?

[Moaning, Kissing Continue]

[Mumbling]

[Murmuring]

[Muttering]

[Over Phone] ♪ We're headin' 'cross the river ♪

[Phone Ringing]

[Phone Ringing]

[Phonograph Powers Up] ♪ It's not unusual ♪

[Pigeons Cooing]

[Pigeons Cooing]

[Quiet Chattering]

[Radio] ♪ For you are ♪

[Ray Whispering] What have you stopped for? Don't stop now.

[Ray] Bloody hell, where you been? I said 8:00.

[Ray] Oh, good. You know what we'll...

[Ray] Thank you.

[Ringing Continues]

[Ringing Continues]

[Ringing]

[Sharp Breaths, Shouting] Who'd want me?

[Shouting] Can you hear me now, Mother? My dad...

[Sighs, Clicks Tongue] Didn't handle that very well.

[Sighs]

[Sighs] Heaven it were, Sadie.

[Sniffing, Clears Throat]

[Snoring Continues]

[Snoring]

[Snorting]

[Softly] Dad.

[Softly] Dad.

[Squeaking]

[Squeaking]

[Static From Phonograph]

[Toilet Flushing]

[Waves Crashing]

[Whispering] Go on.

[Whispering] I'd best go, Billy. Bye.

[Whispers] Billy. I've got to go.

[Whistles]

[Whistling]

[Woman's Voice Muffled] ♪ I'm gonna love you ♪

[Woman] Eh, but look at you in that bag. You ought to complain.

[Woman] Oh, let me do it. Let me. Let me.

[Woman] Ooh, eh, look at them two lookin' now.

♪ 'Cause my heart belongs to Daddy ♪

♪ 'Cause you're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ 'Cause you're never gonna keep me down ♪

♪ A boy some night ♪

♪ A game of golf ♪

♪ A gay divorcee who is after her ex ♪

♪ A little time with ♪

♪ A one man woman ♪

♪ A real big spender ♪

♪ A song and a smile making life worthwhile ♪

♪ All the rainbows in the sky ♪

♪ Along ♪♪

♪ And ♪

♪ And day ♪

♪ And he'll toot his flute for you ♪

♪ And I loved you dearly ♪

♪ And if their wings burn ♪

♪ And it's all ♪

♪ And never knew love ♪

♪ And the dreams ♪

♪ And wake up ♪

♪ And wake up where the clouds ♪

♪ And we'll beat the birds ♪

♪ And where's he gone ♪

♪ Angels cheer 'cause we're together ♪

♪ Anymore ♪ Just as well, 'cause they always fuck it up for ya, don't they?

♪ Are far behind me ♪

♪ Away ♪♪

♪ Away above the chimney tops ♪

♪ Baby, that's what ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Because, because of the wonderful things he does ♪♪

♪ Beckons you to enter his web of sin ♪

♪ Beggar or king you've got to sing a gay tune ♪

♪ Belongs to Daddy ♪

♪ Beware of this heart of gold ♪

♪ Beware of this heart of gold ♪

♪ Beyond the rainbow ♪

♪ Birds fly ♪

♪ Bluebirds ♪

♪ Bluebirds fly ♪

♪ Boo boo be doo ♪

♪ Bow ♪

♪ Boy ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ But don't go in ♪

♪ But his lies can't disguise what you fear ♪

♪ But I'm feelin' so sad ♪

♪ But when I do ♪

♪ But when... ♪ ♪♪ [Stops]

♪ But, oh what will you do ♪

♪ Can't ♪

♪ Chase your cares away ♪

♪ Chicago, Chicago ♪

♪ Chicago, Chicago ♪

♪ Click, clack, click, clack Click, clack, click ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come fly with me ♪

♪ Come on, get happy Chase your cares away ♪

♪ Come rain ♪

♪ Comin' back to me now ♪♪

♪ Days may be cloudy ♪

♪ Deep as a river ♪

♪ Don't let the flames go out Some like it hot ♪♪

♪ Down to Ac apulco Bay ♪

♪ Down to Ac apulco Bay ♪

♪ Even with a turkey that you know will fold ♪

♪ Every trick of his ♪

♪ Everything about it is appealing ♪

♪ Everything the traffic will allow ♪

♪ Falling in love again ♪

♪ Fly ♪

♪ For a flying honeymoon ♪

♪ For the judgment day ♪♪

♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Forget your troubles Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Forget your troubles Get happy ♪

♪ From Mr. Goldfinger ♪

♪ From Mr. Goldfinger ♪

♪ Fun with anyone ♪

♪ Get ready ♪

♪ Get ready ♪

♪ Get ready ♪

♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪

♪ Get ready for the judgment day ♪

♪ Get ready for your judgment day ♪

♪ Gets rougher ♪

♪ Golden days before they end ♪ End?

♪ Golden words he will pour in your ear ♪

♪ Good looking So refined ♪

♪ Good riddance, goodbye ♪

♪ Hallelu... get happy Before the judgment day ♪

♪ Hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Happy birthday Mr. President ♪

♪ Happy little ♪

♪ Happy together ♪

♪ He loves gold ♪♪

♪ He loves only gold ♪

♪ Headin' for the river ♪

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

♪ Hey, big spender ♪

♪ High as a mountain ♪

♪ I ♪♪

♪ I could see you were a man of distinction ♪

♪ I couldn't aspire ♪

♪ I don't follow through ♪

♪ I don't pop my cork for every man I see ♪

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again ♪

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again ♪

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again ♪

♪ I get knocked down but I get up again ♪♪

♪ I hear them saying early every morn ♪

♪ I know I'm not to blame ♪

♪ I know that they're chirruping out a little ditty to me ♪

♪ I long to try ♪

♪ I love it, bet your bottom dollar you'll lose the blues ♪

♪ I may make a play for the caddy ♪

♪ I want to be kissed by you ♪

♪ I want to be kissed by you alone ♪

♪ I want to be loved by you alone ♪

♪ I'll be holding you so near ♪

♪ I'll show you around ♪

♪ I'm with you always ♪

♪ If ♪

♪ If I invite ♪

♪ If you can use some exotic booze ♪

♪ In Chicago, Chicago ♪♪

♪ In llama land there's a one man band ♪

♪ Is rarefied ♪

♪ It breaks your heart in two ♪

♪ It's lonelier and tougher ♪♪

♪ It's not unusual to see me cry ♪

♪ It's oh, so peaceful ♪

♪ It's oh, so peaceful ♪

♪ It's over ♪

♪ It's over ♪♪

♪ It's over, it's over ♪

♪ It's perfect ♪

♪ It's quiet and peaceful ♪

♪ It's such a lovely day ♪

♪ Just say the words ♪

♪ Just you and nobody else but you ♪

♪ Just you and nobody else but you ♪

♪ Knows when he's kissed her ♪

♪ Knows when he's kissed her ♪

♪ Let's float down to Peru ♪

♪ Let's fly, let's fly ♪

♪ Let's fly, let's fly away ♪

♪ Let's fly, let's fly away ♪

♪ Let's fly, let's fly away ♪

♪ Let's go on with the ♪

♪ Let's go on with the show ♪

♪ Let's go on with the show ♪

♪ Let's take off in the blue ♪

♪ Like lemon drops ♪

♪ Like moths around a flame ♪

♪ Like no business I know ♪

♪ Like no business I know ♪

♪ Looking for the man ♪

♪ Lord is waitin' to take your hand ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Me ♪♪

♪ My heart belongs to my daddy ♪

♪ Never a new love ♪

♪ Never had no kissin' ♪

♪ Never wanted to ♪

♪ Next day on your dressing room they hung a star ♪

♪ Nowhere could you get that happy feeling ♪

♪ Of entertainment ♪

♪ Of the money ♪

♪ Oh, the chirruping of the birdies on the sycamore tree ♪

♪ Oh, what I've been missin' ♪

♪ Oh, why ♪

♪ On the lady in tights or the bride ♪

♪ On the other side ♪

♪ On the other side ♪

♪ On the other side ♪

♪ On top of that your pa and ma have parted ♪

♪ Once I get you ♪

♪ Once, in a lullaby ♪

♪ Or come shine ♪

♪ Or come shine ♪

♪ Or come shine ♪

♪ Or sunny ♪

♪ Over the rainbow ♪

♪ Over the rainbow ♪

♪ Pa dum, pa dum Pa doo be dum ♪

♪ Pack up, let's fly away ♪♪

♪ Poo ♪♪

♪ Pretty girl ♪

♪ Really do come true ♪

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' Rawhide ♪

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

♪ Sadder than ♪

♪ Say good bye to sorrow ♪

♪ Say, wouldn't you like to know what's going on in my mind ♪

♪ Send falling stars that seem to cry ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Shout hallelujah Get happy ♪

♪ Show ♪♪

♪ Sing as we go although the skies are gray ♪

♪ Singin' a song we'll march along the highway ♪

♪ Skies are blue ♪

♪ So let me get right to the point ♪

♪ So sing [lmitates Bugle] As we go ♪

♪ Some day I'll wish upon a star ♪

♪ Something I've never had ♪

♪ Spend ♪

♪ Starry eyed ♪

♪ Start to weep then say good bye ♪

♪ Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold ♪

♪ Such a cold finger ♪

♪ Sun is shinin' Come on, get happy ♪

♪ Tender nights before they fly ♪

♪ Than to fill the desire ♪

♪ That all time thrill ♪

♪ That got ♪

♪ That I heard of ♪

♪ That my heart belongs to Daddy ♪

♪ That night you opened and there you are ♪

♪ That toddlin' town A toddlin' town ♪

♪ That you dare to dream ♪

♪ That your favorite uncle died at dawn ♪

♪ That's entertainment ♪

♪ That's where ♪

♪ The audience that lifts you when you're down ♪

♪ The closing when the customers don't come ♪

♪ The costumes, the scenery The make up, the props ♪

♪ The headaches, the heartaches The backaches, the flops ♪

♪ The livelong night ♪

♪ The Lord is waiting to take your hand ♪

♪ The mill ♪

♪ The opening when your heart beats like a drum ♪

♪ The road ♪

♪ The road gets rougher ♪

♪ The sheriff who escorts you out of town ♪

♪ The sun is shinin' Come on, get happy ♪

♪ The sun is shinin' Come on, get happy ♪

♪ The white cliffs of Dover ♪

♪ There is nothing ♪

♪ There'll be bluebirds over ♪

♪ There's a bar in far Bombay ♪

♪ There's a land ♪

♪ There's always tomorrow to think of today ♪

♪ There's just no let up ♪

♪ There's no business like show business ♪

♪ There's no business like show business ♪

♪ There's no people like show people ♪

♪ There's no people like show people ♪

♪ They say ♪

♪ They say ♪

♪ They smile when they are low ♪

♪ They smile when they are low ♪

♪ They're lucky to be so happy and free ♪

♪ This heart is cold ♪

♪ This heart is cold ♪

♪ Throw your sins away in the tide ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ To anything higher ♪

♪ To go out at any time ♪

♪ To know that she's untrue ♪

♪ To make you my own ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ To... ♪♪

♪ Tomorrow he might turn up ♪

♪ Unhappy together ♪

♪ Unhappy together ♪♪

♪ Wash your sins away in the tide ♪

♪ Wash your sins away in the tide ♪

♪ Way up high ♪

♪ We'll be singing ♪

♪ We'll be singing when we're winning ♪

♪ We're goin' to the promised land ♪

♪ We're goin' to the promised land ♪

♪ We're headin' 'cross the river ♪

♪ We're in or we're out ♪

♪ We're through ♪

♪ Weather wise it's such a lovely day ♪

♪ What am I to do ♪

♪ When you are stealing that extra bow ♪

♪ Where a chap kills his father... ♪

♪ Where she gives him her all ♪

♪ Where troubles melt ♪

♪ While tearing off ♪

♪ Who is doing him dirt ♪

♪ Why ♪

♪ Will be the same ♪

♪ Will be the same ♪

♪ With the guy on the side or the ball ♪

♪ Won't it be fine ♪

♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy ♪

♪ Yesterday they told you you would not go far ♪

♪ You better chase all your cares away ♪

♪ You get word before the show has started ♪

♪ You gotta chase all your cares away ♪

♪ You just say the words and we'll beat the birds ♪

♪ You may be stranded out in the cold ♪

♪ You may hear ♪

♪ You won't be seeing rainbows ♪

♪ You'll find me ♪

♪ You're broken hearted but you go on ♪

♪ You're not ever gonna keep me down I get knocked down ♪♪

♪ You're on ♪

♪ You've been through ♪

♪♪ ["Get Happy"]

♪♪ ["Goldfinger"]

♪♪ ["I Want To Be Loved By You"]

♪♪ [Big Band]

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Fades, Ends]

♪♪ [Fanfare]