The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991) Edit

A lot of cuts will have to be made and some people will be hit hard.

About the case...

AGENT: Great Lady down! Repeat, Great Lady down!

Ah, here she is. Dear.

Ah, thank you, Commissioner Brumford.

Ah! This happens every fucking time when I go shopping!

All I know is, never bet on the white guy.

All right, give me the bullhorn.

All right, he's had enough!

All right, I'll handle it. Quick, hide in the basement.

All right, what do you want?

All right. If you'll excuse me, I have to take my shower.

All temperature controlled by the machinery just below us.

ALL: Hmm.

ALL: Ooh!

ALL: Whoa!

Along with the President, I pledge to support his recommendations,

Always nice to see nice people.

An all expense paid trip to the Gilligan Islands.

An electric car, partially powered by solar panels.

Ancient history, like the Democratic Party.

And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room.

And a jealous man always makes the wrong move.

And being surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society.

And breasts that seem to say, Hey, look at these!

And Dr. Meinheimer is the recognised expert in this field.

And Dr. Meinheimer will present his recommendations

And go into a 7 Eleven without an interpreter.

And he's just given us this signed confession, implicating that man!

And I have a receipt to prove it.

And I hope you do, too

And if the President adopts a policy of supporting efficiency and solar energy,

And lead us to a clue that would break the case wide open.

And more dollars for subsidising nuclear power, as I've recommended myself.

And now one of you pays.

And now, please enjoy the evening.

And possibly a couple of months behind in his rent, finally snapped.

And so I'm feeling blue

And thank God that you were a man. Yeah...

And the decent people in this town.

And then I'd like you to meet the Redmans.

And to draw the first winner, we would like to ask our guest of honour,

And when you think that things are going your way, nothing happens.

And you're here late.

And you've met Earl Hacker.

And, might I add, I'm worth every penny of it.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen...

ANNOUNCER: Piloting today's giant oil tankers is a big responsibility.

ANNOUNCER: The honourable Allen D. and the former Mrs. Eastern.

Any final requests, Lieutenant?

Anything you wish, my darling.

Are you sure? I'm trying out a new recipe tonight.

As Albert Einstein once said...

As he thrust his purple headed warrior

As I explained to Mr. Hapsburg, my fee is $1 million,

As part of the President's Operation Scum Roundup.

As you know, for the past three years,

Ask him if he's pals with a two bit goon named Hector Savage.

Ask him what his connection is with the van you saw the night of the explosion.

At 3:15, Nordberg will cut the power lines, knocking out the alarms.

At this warehouse. I've got to get going to rescue him.

AUDIENCE: Bravo! Encore!

AUTOMATED VOICE: 10, 9, 8...

AUTOMATED VOICE: 5, 4, 3...

AUTOMATED VOICE: Detonation sequence activated.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Four minutes to detonation.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Per your command,

AUTOMATED VOICE: Six minutes to detonation.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Twenty seconds to detonation.

BARBARA: Help, George!

BARBARA: Ow!

Based on energy efficiency and clean, renewable energy sources.

Because I'm the last line of defence between sleaze like this

Because no one is ever going to know about them.

Because you backed out of the wedding two years ago? I'd forgotten.

Because you've had the same person every day for over 30 years.

Bésame

Blowing away a fleeing suspect with my.44 Magnum

Breathe the air, swim in the ocean,

But a guest there made such a ruckus that they wouldn't have heard me.

But how fortunate to have found you. Now you can join me at my table.

But I do kiss that way.

But if I were you, I wouldn't leave until they shampoo the carpets.

But it hurts.

But it won't work this time. You're part of a dying breed,

But Jane and I have seen quite a lot of each other lately.

But Jane...

But now I think I'm going to enjoy doing it myself.

But now I want to be known as The Environmental Police Lieutenant.

But remember, our friend can't exist without huge government subsidies.

But right now, it gives us a comfortable feeling

But the truth is, gentlemen,

But then, you wouldn't understand.

But there she was, just like I remembered her.

But we did find footprints outside the Institute.

But we need to ask you a few questions.

But we'll just keep cutting until we have an impact.

But you gentlemen don't have any choice.

By this time tomorrow, I'll be hunting rhino in Botswana.

Can it be that it was all so simple then

Can sit under a shade tree,

Can think of something better to do on a Saturday night?

Can you show us the results from the Research Institute?

Captain Anabell Brumford.

Come in, Nordberg. Frank, hold on. We have a problem.

Come on, Frank, hurry! Come on!

Come on, on your feet.

Could reduce the price of solar panels by 90%.

Detonation now in two minutes.

Do you know what Dr. Meinheimer will say at the dinner tomorrow?

Do you realise that because of you this city is being overrun by baboons?

Does he have any identifying marks? A scar, a mole, a tattoo,

Don't move!

DONALD: President to give Meinheimer blank cheque at Press Club Dinner.

Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.

Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.

Dr. Meinheimer, you remember Frank?

Drebin, Police Squad. What do we have?

Drebin!

Drilling in Arctic national wildlife refuge, bad.

Drop your gun, Lieutenant.

Ed, I'm going to try the roof.

ED: Frank. Frank!

Eh... Ed! That'll be all, McTigue.

Energy efficiency, good.

Every word of it. I would've given it tonight,

Everybody's here. Commissioner.

Everything seems to be okay now, so without further ado,

Ex boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago.

Excuse me! You happen to be standing in my place.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Extraordinary. The President promised to implement my recommendations.

First, representing the oil industry,

Fluorescents. Last 10 times as long as a conventional light bulb.

For only $500 million,

For the next decade and beyond.

Frank, come here. Quick!

Frank, I'd like you to consider filling a special post I'm going to create.

Frank, this is Quentin Hapsburg of the Hexagon Oil Company.

Frank, we've got no business doing this.

Frank, what are you doing? Where are you going? Frank!

FRANK: After a good night's sleep, I headed back to police headquarters.

FRANK: I couldn't believe it was her. It was like a dream.

FRANK: It's a perfect day.

FRANK: Let's go. But remember, we can't let him spot us.

FRANK: Right! I'll intercept Hacker.

Frank!

Frank!

Frank!

Frank! How could you be so insensitive?

Frank! What are you trying to tell me?

From the coal industry, Chairman of the Society for More Coal Energy,

Future captains go through a rigorous instruction programme.

Garbage like you just makes me sick!

Gee, if that's your attitude, forget it!

Gentlemen, gentlemen...

Get off me, you moron!

Girls who can't say no, who can't get enough.

Give me Captain Ed Hocken, please.

Give me the strongest thing you've got.

Go ahead! Threaten me like you have the American people for so long.

Go to her, Frank. Go on!

Good evening, Commissioner. You're looking lovely tonight.

Good Lord! Look at what they did to Dr. Meinheimer.

Good question. Why don't we just ask him?

Good.

Hapsburg has Plan B in...

Hapsburg has Plan B in...

Hapsburg is up to something right up to his pretty, imported shirt collar.

Has put a stranglehold on the budget.

He blew up a building and is driving a van registered in your name.

He did what?

He has a birthmark in the shape of Whistler's Motheron his right buttock.

He is best qualified to explain his research methods.

He never forgets a face. He has a photographic memory.

He was killed in the ring in Houston by Tex Colorado.

He's changing direction. Stop the car.

He's wired!

Head of the Society of Petroleum Industry Leaders, better known as SPIL,

Hector Savage. From Detroit. I remember this pug.

Hello, Jane.

Help!

Here, read this. It's an emergency.

Here's everybody on the list, Barb. Everybody's here.

Hey, AI! Ken! Look at this.

Hey, come back here!

Hey, that's a pretty nice clock!

Hey!

Hey! Stop, stop! I'm a police officer!

Hi, Frank. Trudy.

Hi, Frank. We got that D 83 Swedish Sure Grip Suck Machine you ordered.

Hi, Peter. Glad you could make it. I like your suit.

Hi, Peter. They let you out of the office early today.

His strong, manly hands

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hold it! Frank is right. There is a fraud in this room, but it's this man!

Hold it! Hold everything!

Hold it! Stop firing!

Hold me, my darling and say that you'll always be mine

How are you doing, trooper?

How can you say that,

How many animals escaped? Oh, my God!

I believe I've used some of your restrooms.

I believe we met at the White House dinner.

I believe you're inquiring about Plan B.

I bet if I dusted you for prints, they'd be your lover Quentin's.

I can walk!

I could forget about Jane and maybe in the process

I do hope that Dr. Meinheimer won't be influenced...

I don't care what you think. You won't talk your way out of this.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know why I came here. I was hoping that you'd have someone.

I don't recall seeing your name on the guest list.

I figured that if I buried myself in police work,

I forgot. How was the White House dinner?

I found this in the waste basket.

I gave the sketch artist a description.

I get out of bed

I grew up on Lake Erie. There's nothing quite like it.

I guess I'd better be on my way.

I have a better idea. Follow me!

I have been swimming in raw sewage. I love it.

I haven't had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!

I hope you're right. It's just that I don't know if I fit in any more.

I just can't take this any more.

I just want to love, Ed.

I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about what happened tonight.

I know it's awkward, but you're not still obsessed with our relationship, are you?

I know that you're all worried, and I agree.

I know what you're thinking, but we're not worried.

I love it!

I love it!

I may not get there with you, but most of all,

I mean, at the time, I was dating a lot.

I moved here two years ago.

I present to you, once again, the man who needs no introduction,

I present to you, once again, the man who needs no introduction,

I promised Nordberg we'd bake a raisin nut bread tonight.

I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Will you stay with me?

I remembered something about the crime.

I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once, in Cincinnati.

I see a certain kitten still knows how to scratch.

I see... Have you noticed anything different about him?

I think about her constantly. But it's done.

I told Jane to meet us at the hotel's rear entrance.

I told you the bombing wouldn't work.

I want a car out front. Something fun. A Porsche.

I want a world where Frank Junior, and all the Frank Juniors,

I want a world where I can eat a sea otter without getting sick.

I want a world where I can wake up each morning

I want them arrested on sight.

I was getting my car washed when I heard the call come over the scanner.

I was hoping that the lab boys had come up with something.

I was telling him about the speech that you were preparing for the press...

I will...

I wonder why they threw it out.

I would like to introduce a most distinguished American.

I'd like to see the rest of the Institute, if you don't mind?

I'll be in the van waiting for your signal. Are you wired up?

I'll be leaving for Boston tomorrow where I'll deliver a major address

I'll be safely on my helicopter.

I'll have to find another way in, Ed.

I'll see you in the morning.

I'll see you later.

I'll teach you to pick on a helpless invalid!

I'm afraid it's merely a case of jealousy, my dear.

I'm counting on that!

I'm going to try it again.

I'm just John Q. Public now. It's just you and me.

I'm lonely, I'm lost. I need someone to hold, to love.

I'm really okay, but I'm glad you're here.

I'm single. I love being single!

I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic, but we have a long road ahead of us.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

I'm sure it's a wonderful, well thought out piece of work.

I'm sure we can handle the situation maturely,

I'm sure you have.

I'm sure you'll find love.

I'm the only one who knows the abort code.

I've taken all the pills

If my hunch is right, they're holding him hostage here.

If you see Drebin or any Police Squad near these premises,

If you so much as sneeze, I'll be there to wipe your nose.

If you're going to be blown to bits, I want to be here with you.

In 10 minutes, this building and everyone in it

In all honesty, the last two I backed over with my car.

In fact, better than ever.

In fact, we think of it as our friendly neighbour.

In the shape of Whistler's Mother right here!

In... In...

Influenced by any of the so called environmental groups.

Insensitive? You think it's easy displacing an entire tribe?

Into her quivering mound of love pudding.

Is it just my imagination or is the whole world crazy?

Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?

It is my view that we must rely on coal, oil and nuclear energy.

It may mean long hours, dangerous nights,

It'll be slow and painful.

It's a cookbook, it's a cookbook!

It's a gift.

It's a tense situation. Savage is holed up in that house.

It's a terrible thing that's happened. I hope you find the people responsible.

It's all right, Doctor. It's okay.

It's just that when you've had that much man...

It's like sex, a painstaking task that seems to go on and on forever,

It's probably because it's four minutes too slow. Let me fix it.

It's Savage. He's on the move.

It's stuck. Give me a hand.

Jack, glad you could make it.

Jane said that she saw a red van

Jane, about this man you saw last night... Anything can help.

Jane, are you all right? I was so worried about you.

Jane, I promise you that if we ever come out of this alive,

Jane, I think you ought to know something.

Jane, you mustn't be so hard on yourself.

JANE: (ECHOING) Coal, oil and nuclear.

JANE: (SCREAMING) Frank!

JANE: Frank!

JANE: Let me see here...

JANE: This is our research laboratory.

JANE: What are you going to do? AUTOMATED VOICE: Fifteen seconds.

Jane! Something must have happened to Jane.

Jane...

JOHN: There won't be any surprises in Dr. Meinheimer's address.

Just as I suspected.

Just like the responsible adults that we are.

Just thinking of you

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the first door prize of the evening,

Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States and Mrs. Bush.

Law Enforcement Week all across the country.

Let me introduce you to some people.

Let's go.

Let's run through this one more time.

Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad. This is my Captain, Ed Hocken.

Like people who can name all 50 states. The truth hurts, doesn't it?

Like the colours of my mind

Like this solar power plant,

Listen up, everyone. I want you to calmly file towards the exits.

Listen. We're looking for Hector Savage. Where is he?

Look at this headline.

Look, Frank...

Look, he's real close now.

Look, Lieutenant, I have nothing to hide.

Loud and clear. Nordberg, how are we doing?

MAN 1: Hexagon Oil commercial number one.

MAN 1: Ready? MAN 2: Yeah, got it.

MAN 2: Ah! Just the way I like it!

MAN: Bernardo, you've got the keys?

MAN: Oh, my God!

Maybe, but I'm warning you.

Meanwhile, we'll be continuing fingerprint analysis,

Meet Earl Hacker, former arts consultant to Jesse Helms.

MEINHEIMER: Jane, there you are.

MEINHEIMER: You're going to wear all my gears down.

Memories

Misty water coloured memories

Mmm.

More, more, more! It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs.

Mr. Drebin, Mr. Hapsburg would like you to join him at his table.

Mr. President, if I may say so,

Mr. President.

Mr. Terence Baggett.

My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.

Nice going!

No doubt realises how our dependence on foreign oil

No one will be harmed by the huge bomb that's going to explode.

No one will be left alive to hear it.

No sign of a break in, no money missing.

No touristy place.

No, I can't. I... I try.

No, I mean Hacker! He's getting ready to make a speech.

No, it's just a small percentage of the population, Frank.

No, my wife is a transsexual Satan worshipper.

No, no, no...

No, thank you.

No, that's Kid New York. He fought out of Philly.

No. No trouble at all.

No... No!

NORDBERG: (SCREAMING) Oh, no!

NORDBERG: Ed, help me! Ed!

NORDBERG: Frank, stop!

NORDBERG: Frank! Help!

NORDBERG: Help! Stop, stop!

NORDBERG: Oh, no!

NORDBERG: Oh, no!

NORDBERG: Pull over!

NORDBERG: This guy's heavy!

NORDBERG: What? Hey!

Nordberg! Cover me, I'm going in!

Nordberg's bugging device is right on the money.

Not now. She fainted dead away.

Not so fast!

Nothing to be embarrassed about. I sometimes go by my maiden name.

Now I present to you Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.

Now I'd like to call on my Chief of Staff, Mr. John Sununu,

Now I'm afraid it's one of Hapsburg's goons. He was carrying this.

Obsessed? Who's obsessed?

Obviously a forgery. We'll see about this!

Of a 500,000 tonne single hull super tanker.

Of course. We should start with the research area.

Of the smiles we left behind

Of the way we were

Of what is essentially a floating ecological time bomb.

Oh, Frank! I feel like such a fool.

Oh, Frank! We have to help Dr. Meinheimer.

Oh, here we go.

Oh, I can't fight it any more!

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt.

Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh, my God! He can walk!

Oh, no! What are we going to do?

Oh, no. I'm not going to fall for that one.

Oh, Quentin! I was just getting a breath of fresh air.

Oh, yeah. Hapsburg has Plan B in...

Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of Kid Minneapolis.

Oh, yes!

Oh! Congratulations, I understand that Edna's pregnant again.

Oh! You...

Okay, but the place is kind of a mess.

Okay, now...

On Dr. Meinheimer's recommendations.

On our need for a national policy

On research into nuclear waste disposal,

Once in a while something comes up

One, guns to be thrown down. Two, come on out.

One, guns to be thrown down. Two, come on out.

Only that he is a foot taller and seems to be left handed now.

Only the best will take command

Or come on out, then throw down your guns, whichever you want.

Or SMOKE, Mr. Donald Fenzwick.

Or the cost of one B 1 bomber,

Our Dr. Meinheimer.

Our guests from the nation's energy suppliers.

Our scientists have spent years on them and are just now making breakthroughs.

Outside the Institute before the explosion.

Outside the window, I saw a red van parked across the street.

Over here.

Over there!

Ozone layer! (SIGHS) Frank, you never tried to understand.

PAPARAZZI: One more picture. Turn around, over here!

Photovoltaic cells.

Please be seated.

Please welcome Lieutenant Frank Drebin of Police Squad.

Please?

PRESIDENT BUSH: I'm fine, thanks.

President of the Key Atomic Benefits Office Of Mankind, KABOOM,

Probed every crevice of her silken femininity,

Que sera, sera...

Quentin Hapsburg. I never liked him from the moment I laid eyes on him.

Quentin, maybe you should excuse us.

QUENTIN: I'm right here, Drebin.

QUENTIN: See you after the speech, Lieutenant.

Recession... Bad. Recovery... Good. Yeah, I think I've got that.

Red van? Thank you, that'll be very helpful.

Remember the two key elements.

REPORTER: Any predictions, Mr. Sununu?

Right. Sorenson!

Rolling into nuclear power.

Sam, play our song. Just one more time.

SAM: Of course.

Sam. That's enough. Play the other one, please.

Sam. That's enough. Play the other one, please.

Scattered pictures

Screwed

Search him.

Send him the plane fare and a new pair of pants.

Sex, Frank?

She made you drop to your knees

She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.

She saw a man leaving just before the explosion.

She took a knock on the head. She looks pretty bad.

She'll unlock the doors at 7:30.

She's being questioned by our sketch artist.

She's part of my life, Ed. Always will be.

Shit!

Sir?

Snap out of it. You're looking at her like she was your mother.

So far we had few clues and no real leads.

So I'd like to turn the proceedings over

So I've given up I've thrown in the towel

So instead of spending $2.5 billion

So tell your congressman to keep those government dollars

So you didn't get the cheque for $75,000 that your uncle left you in his will?

Somebody help the Captain. We've got to get to that dinner.

Someday, way into the future,

Something indicative of the people and their culture.

Sometimes I think about you and Edna, and I envy you,

Sorry.

South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.

Step on it!

Stop firing! Stop firing!

Stop it, this is preposterous! Is there no end to your jealousy?

Stop it! You're just jealous because another man can give me

Stop right now! I've had it! I said stop!

Superwindows. They insulate as well as 10 sheets of glass.

Surely, a lovely woman like you

Take cover!

Thank heavens the bomb didn't damage the research area.

Thank you all for attending this event in honour of Dr. Meinheimer,

Thank you very much. Dr. Meinheimer, I'm glad you could make it, sir.

Thank you, Doctor, I try my best.

Thank you, I don't intend to stay.

Thank you, Mr. President, for those kind words,

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'm very honoured.

Thank you. Mr. President, tonight I am extremely proud to welcome

That delicately beautiful face

That I've decided to base my administration's entire energy policy

That man. Quentin Hapsburg.

That nothing quite prepares you for.

That Quentin has found a double for Dr. Meinheimer

That speech is in two days.

That will have a lasting impact on the way we live

That's brilliant. That's a lot better than what I had come up with.

That's it. If we'll just stay calm,

That's it. Nobody run. Just walk, single file.

That's not fog. The number two engine's on fire. They're putting it out.

That's strange, but he has been under a lot of stress lately.

That's the cops. You've got to get rid of them.

That's the only way we'll be able to move forward.

That's the red light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging out down there.

That's the signal, let's go.

That's why here at Hexagon's Tanker Captain Training School,

The esteemed Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.

The honourable William and Mrs. Breslau.

The law will allow

The phone is in the other room. You can let yourself out. Goodbye.

The pleasure is all mine.

The President has appointed as his top advisor in this area,

The real doctor has a birthmark

The sun may be able to provide for all our energy needs.

The water's over there.

Their undulating bodies writhing in a sensual rhythm

Then I had it slashed so we could build our dream house.

Then I tried the station house. I thought maybe you'd be here.

Then I want a plane ticket to Jamaica. And I want a nice hotel.

Then I want the pleasure of killing you myself.

Then maybe this will help.

Then, using the microscopic dirt particles on this footprint,

There are hundreds of experiments going on,

There is someone I'm seeing, in fact just yesterday.

There's plenty to be worried about.

They convert sunlight directly into electricity.

They'll probably torture him, then kill him.

They'll start by tearing out his toenails and then move on to the nose hairs.

They've got killer guard dogs here. Do you read me?

They've searched the building.

This fog'll keep us concealed to Hapsburg's warehouse.

This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad.

This is something I've always dreamt of,

This is the most important evening of my career. We can't afford mistakes.

This isn't easy to say.

This issue is too important to be left to politicians or special interests to decide.

This was one hell of an explosion.

This week he is being honoured for his 1,000th drug dealer killed.

This week we are celebrating

Through a complicated elimination process,

Throw down your guns and come out with your hands up,

Tie him up!

To elaborate on point 102...

To introduce some special guests.

To know that our home is being supplied by nuclear power.

To make sure that we choose the right path,

To our own Washington D.C. Police Commissioner,

To reset detonation code, press pound sign.

To the Annual National Press Club Dinner this Tuesday evening.

Tonight, I intend to share with you my report

Until I come back.

Until tonight, then...

Uses only a quarter of the power.

Wake up, the place is going to blow!

Wake up, wake up!

Wake up!

We also found this dinosaur footprint.

We can't do that. We're calling your bluff.

We found this wallet on the kerb outside the Institute.

We had no choice.

We haven't examined it thoroughly. It just came down from the lab.

We know that nuclear energy is safe.

We made plaster casts of them. A size 91/2 D.

We may not have that kind of time.

We need an independent and informed source on which to base future actions,

We own lots of vans. One of them was stolen three days ago.

We shouldn't push it like this.

We weed out those less qualified for the day to day operation

We weren't able to get any clean fingerprints,

We'd better make our move.

We'll get a geological breakdown of the entire city.

We'll have more on the dinner later and an update on the escaped zoo animals.

We're at our destination.

We're going to the Press Club Dinner. Make sure nothing happens to Drebin

We're no good together. All you ever lived for was police work.

We're running a trace on it. But more interesting,

We're still trying to figure out what they used.

We've got you surrounded front and... Hey!

We've only got a dock pass and your hunch.

Webbed toes or a third nostril?

Weekend guests from out of town.

Welcome. I'm glad you could all come.

Well, I'm quite sure...

Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?

Well, it looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Well, that's great. I've been dating, too. Nice girl, an author.

Well, we're all aware of Dr. Meinheimer's reputation.

Well... It's Lieutenant Drebin.

What are you doing out here? The party's inside.

What can you tell me about the man you saw last night?

What happened to the water pressure?

What is he doing in Detroit?

What's gotten into you? He's a kind, gentle, concerned man,

Whatever they may be.

When I sank every penny into buying 1,000 acres of Brazilian rainforest.

When she said, Get out of my life forever, I knew it was over.

When you hear me say, I love it, you guys move in.

Where, where? All right.

Where? Talk, you low life scum!

Which old witch? The wicked witch...

While I'm out with 20 year olds who just want to have fun and cheap sex.

Who cares about people and is not as suspicious as some people I know.

Who else is almost dead?

Who tomorrow will make his historic address.

Who would be the biggest losers?

Whoa!

Why are you here?

Why should I tell you?

Why you son of a... (GROANING)

Why, Jane!

Wish I was dead

With this woman, whom I love!

WOMAN: Good. MAN: Excellent!

WOMAN: Look what he's doing to that man in the wheelchair!

Wonderful! Then you're going to deliver the speech you told me about?

Wrote the book on male sexual dysfunction. You've probably read it.

Yeah, I'm thinking about something more up tempo, like Guantanamera.

Yeah. Right.

Yeah. That red van is registered to one Quentin Hapsburg.

Yes, 20 feet down we discovered ancient timbers from Noah's Ark.

Yes, but I can't understand who'd do such a thing.

Yes, but unless we can disarm this computer, the building will blow.

Yes, he'll endorse energy efficiency and renewable energy like solar power.

Yes, of course.

Yes?

Yes. Can I have the gun?

Yet tonight he never recalled meeting me.

Yikes!

You can't drive that tank! You're not checked out on it!

You can't let old hurts die, can you?

You couldn't know that the man you were dating was a murdering sociopath.

You did it!

You get the doctor prepared for his speech.

You just can't forget about him?

You just try and take me, Drebin! I've got more if you want them, copper!

You left before I could talk to you.

You make love to the same woman.

You must forget about the past. Go out, see new people, enjoy yourself.

You never miss it until it's gone.

You see, I've learnt something this past week

You spend every possible waking moment together,

You sure know your boxing.

You told me that Dr. Meinheimer had a photographic memory,

You try it sometime.

You wake up with her, eat with her, sleep with her...

You walk out of my life, no explanation...

You were supposed to have been killed last night.

You'll be safe down there.

You'll never get away with this, Hapsburg.

You're back early.

You're going on Geraldo because of this?

You're still thinking about Jane, aren't you?

You're the finest Director of Public Relations we've ever had.

You're thinking about him again, aren't you? What was his name?

You've done a wonderful job here at the Institute.

You've said your piece, you can go now, right?

210 Bleckman Street.

(ALL EXCLAIMING) Luckily, they were drug dealers.

(FRANK GRUNTING) BARBARA: Ow!

(ROARING) (QUENTIN SCREAMING)

(TAPE SQUEAKING) (DOG BARKING)

A major find from the Palaeolithic era. Anything else?

All right, talk! Give me that abort code. Okay, I'll talk.

All right. Where's Hapsburg? (GROANING)

Any other victims? You're standing on one right now.

Any witnesses, Ed? Well, there's one. A woman.

Are you all right? I'm fine. Are you okay?

Are you connected with the Institute? Not officially.

Are you okay, Dr. Meinheimer? (GROANS SOFTLY)

At the Home Club? What? No!

AUTOMATED VOICE: 2, 1... Let's get out!

Bésame mucho Hey!

Bug the van. See where it goes. ED: Good thinking.

but I'll have to turn down your offer. (ALL EXCLAIMING IN SHOCK)

Can't someone help? Come on, guys. Let's get him!

Didn't you get the letters? Every one of them.

Do you gamble, Lieutenant? Every time I order out.

Don't get up. Nice to meet you. Likewise, I'm sure.

Don't listen to him. He's a fraud! No!

Don't listen to him. He's a fraud! No!

Don't you think I know that? We all know that.

Dr. Meinheimer. Yes?

Dr. Meinheimer... AGENT: Great Lady down again.

Ed. Frank.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

FRANK: Ed... Okay?

Frank! Jane!

Frank! Frank! Just one more question.

Frank? Jane.

Frank? Yes. (SNIFFLING)

Frank. Jane. I didn't know you lived here.

Freeze! That's it. Freeze!

Get a hold of yourself! I had to return 13 Cuisinarts.

Give me a shot at him! Beating a guy in a wheelchair, huh?

Good evening, Sam. Mr. Drebin. Jane.

Good evening. BOTH: Hello, Norm.

He already said that. Where did he leave off?

He's Caucasian. Caucasian?

He's in danger. Yes.

How are the children? We didn't have any children.

How are you, dear? I'm okay, I'm fine.

How is my little hell cat? Oh!

How was your prostate operation? Fine. As good as new.

I already have one. It's from the lady.

I beg your pardon? Please...

I can prove it! What are you doing?

I should never have doubted you. There, there...

I want us to be friends. Sure, friends...

I wouldn't know. He's been a bad boy.

I'm glad you could make it. I got here as quickly as I could.

In... (GAGGING) Where?

Is this some kind of bust? It's very impressive, yes...

Jane, darling! Quentin!

Jane, you'd better go. No, Frank. I'm staying here with you.

Jane, you're hurting me. (SIGHS)

JANE: What are we going to do? See what you can find in the manual.

Jane... Oh, Dr. Meinheimer.

Let me help you. That won't be necessary.

Local call? Yes.

Looks like he's holding all the cards. Not all the cards.

MAN: That's kidnapping! Good heavens!

Mano a mano. Ed...

Miss, I'd like to ask some questions. Not that bad.

Mr. Arthur Dunwell. (ALL APPLAUDING)

Nice work. What?

Nordberg! No problem.

Nordberg. Got it.

Oh, I see... Get him out of here.

Oh! Let's take him down. No, he's not working alone.