Superstar (1999) Edit

A couple named O'Shea...

A dream about you, baby

A dream.

A flower.

A kiss. A big Hollywood fireworks type of kiss.

A pus filled, b b blistering,

A wonderful life

Aah!

Aah!

Accidentally turning up the speed.

Acting like we're still going out, even though we're definitely not.

Actually, can you wait a moment?

Actually, most of my family had gotten hurt at some point.

After you destroy the meteor that's headed towards Earth,

Ah, well, send her in when she gets here.

Ah, yes. You're the You're the rewind girl at Kip's Video.

Ah!

Ah.

All my bags are packed

All my life I've asked God to make me a star, every day.

All signs point to yes.

Allright. Um

Always reachin '

Amen.

And a chance to be an extra...

And a chance to be an extra...

And a man come up to me and he said,

And before the dancers could stop themselves,

And begin our life together on the farm.

And cry

And eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.

And eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.

And everything that you say to me bounces off of me and sticks to you?

And forgive those who trespass against us.

And forgive those who trespass against us.

And go with the godly flow.

And he was willing to make a deal

And he will definitely kiss you.

And he's on the rebound.

And hide

And I choke on my reply

And I figured it was time to let my dream go too.

And I have to close my eyes

And I lost track of time.

And I smell them like that.

And I was just trying to... wipe it off.

And I'd rather that they're scared of me than...

And I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God,

And I'm here to guide you.

And if that feels okay, slowly get into the water,

And in my case, very mysterious.

And make a flesh coat by sewing their skin hides together.

And my grandmother was in an accident too.

And my gymnastics tryout didn't go very well either.

And now Father Ritley is letting her audition.

And now he never talks.

And please, God, forgive me...

And please, God, send me someone to make out with...

And she took your dad down with her.

And sometimes when we touch

And sometimes when we touch

And that's my story.

And that's when your mother fell.

And the boys too.

And the devil's in you and the devil's in me

And then I saw the one who I wanted to kiss.

And there's no one right in here.

And these dead stems...

And they hold hands 'cause they're friends.

And this one is very nice to this one,

And tongue kiss like this.

And tonight, I just want Him to know that...

And what is that, my child?

And when Johnny comes back from the war, we can start a family...

And wicked touching takes its toll.

And you carefully test the water's temperature.

And you know that you're the only one to say

And you might think I'm crazy

And you might think I'm crazy

And you should pay attention 'cause it's starting right now.

And, Helen, I'm sorry I made fun of your very hairy lip.

And, um, what I'm really trying to say is...

Andthe devil jumped up on a hickory stump and said

Any thoughts?

Anyway, this is my story,

Are two of my very best friends.

Are you aware that I am rubber and you are glue...

Are you ready? Good.

As long as I walk this wheel around the earth.

As president ofthe Catholic Cheerleaders Against VD Foundation,

As the rewind girl...

As this

At this school, any student, including Mary,

Baby

Baby, 'cause you're the one

Baby, 'cause you're the one

Baby, 'cause you're the one

Baby, be strong for me Baby, belong to me

Baby, this evening

Bam! Pow!

Basically, your subconscious came up with me to help you deal, dig?

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Beautiful

Because I n n n n n never talk.

Because I'm working in a mysterious way here.

Because Sky and I are together again, dancing in the show.

Because some people might say that you super suck.

Because that's that's what I wanna be.

Because they're so huge.

Because you're such an embarrassment,

Because your parents named you after bottled water.

Besides, Sky and me are gonna win anyway.

Boy, let me tell you what

Brush it off like nothing

Burn and fester in the swollen...

But as the saying goes

But don't worry. You'll never need one.

But first, let's not forget...

But hold on to your soul 'cause you're

But I I don't know exactly what the word jiggy means.

But I am bustin' out, Daddy.

But I can help you to star in one.

But I didn't really think about business,

But I don't know where here is, man, 'cause I'm so wasted, man.

But I just can't let a hymenally challenged dog...

But I just feel really bad for you, 'cause I guess...

But I just want you to know that...

But I wanna sign up for the auditions.

But if I say it, you better fuckin' figure it out.

But if the Good Lord gave her excess energy,

But it's time I told you how your parents died.

But it's too soon.

But let's have some fun and meet our judges. Over here

But so help me, Mary, you will never stepdance...

But they want you to lose the end with the paint.

But today I've chosen to express myself through song.

But when you're a businesswoman,

But you might want to reconsider this bike ride.

But you're motorin

But your mother was determined to keep her title,

But, Mare, Sky's taken.

But, uh, the devil speaks for me, obviously.

Bye.

Can I ask you a question?

Can you please just say something to me, please?

Can you shut the hell up!

Catholic Teenager Magazine presents...

Christy Turlington and Naomi Campbell...

Come on, let's sweat

Come on!

Could eliminate her excess energy.

Could I please, please, please, please audition?

D.T.'s are from being drunk, not high, you fruit.

Day by day

Day by day

Dear God, please make this crazy kid go away.

Debbie, shaved your legs.

Did you really mean it when you said that you thought I looked beautiful?

Did you see that sign they're putting up?

Do I fit in

Do you have a best friend? You wanna be my best friend?

Do you hear something, Dylan?

Do you miss me as much as I miss you so much?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Do you think that even without the talent show,

Don't be such a loser

Don't call me that. I'm a Puerto Rican lady, senor.

Don't Don't stop it

Don't listen to the names that people call you.

Don't wanna talk. Go away.

Don't you see?

Don't, don't, don't Don't stop it

Enjoy.

Enough for everyone

Entering?

Especially movies like Carrie,

Every mother's dream

Everybody dance now

Everybody dance now

Everybody's waiting

Everybody's waiting

Everymother's dream

Everything.

Evian does have a super ass.

Evian Graham, the most beautiful, most popular,

Evian, I saw what you did to Mary today.

Evian, I'm disappointed in you.

Evian, Mary, stop that.

Evian, you're a superass!

Evian, you're dismissed.

Evian!

Evian?

Evian.

Evian. Hey.

Exactly! You did it perfectly.

Excuse me.

Fame!

Fat Teddy McGinty's belly struck the record player,

Father Ritley called.

Father Ritley, the person you wanted to see is on her way.

Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

Father, my sins would best be expressed...

Father, Son and Holy Ghost!

Five, six, seven, eight.

Follow Mary, you guys.

For not telling Slater that I went to the bathroom in the pool tonight.

For that rising star

For those who are weak will no doubt one day...

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

Four more to go, peaches.

Frances, Frances, please don't die.

Frances, go back. She needs you.

Frances.

From the made for TV movie Portrait of a Teenage Centerold,

Gallagher! Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Game over.

Germ free. You

Get jiggy with it.

Get off! There's a meteor coming!

Get up and seize the day

Get up, get up, get up

Get up, get up, get up

Get up, Mary!

Getting kissed in the movies.

Getting up can be tough Even tougher than the going down

Girls have a button and boys have a pole,

Go ahead. Tell me your sins, my child.

Go away. Go away. Go away.

Go back.

Go drink a bottle of yourself?

Go fetch. That way, my dog friend. Go on.

Go suck your boyfriend's ding a ling.

Go talk to him before somebody else dates him.

Go!

Going out to the call

Good afternoon, ladies. You're all looking quite lovely this afternoon.

Good day to you, sir. Mary!

Good evening, everyone!

Good luck.

Good night, candle.

Good night, God.

Good night, Mary.

Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.

Good to see you. Out walking for scoliosis again?

Gotta go jog for glaucoma. Bye.

Gotta reach for the stars

Gotta reach for the stars

Gotta reach for the stars

Grandma, why did you tell Father Ritley that I was a star?

Grandma, you don't know how much this means to me.

Has been a bed of roses

Has been a bed of roses

He likes you.

He says everything, like,five times.

He told me you tried out for the talent show.

He was in a bind 'cause he was way behind

He was looking for a soul to steal

He's crazy. They say he chopped up his parents.

He's got his fake addictions confused, Mrs. Gallagher.

He's got his fake addictions confused, Mrs. Gallagher.

He's too scared to actually take drugs.

Helen, have you ever kissed a boy before?

Help me through

Here he comes.

Hey, Bartholomew, nice name.

Hey, don't you go to my school?

Hey, everybody. I dreamt of this new dance move last night.

Hey, Evian, I made up a new dance move.

Hey, guys, I got a new cheer.

Hey, is there a problem here?

Hey, lesbo.

Hey, Mare.

Hey, Mare. What you doing?

Hey, Mary.

Hey, Mary.

Hey, Mary. Why so glum?

Hey, new friend.

Hey, Slater,

Hey, Slater.

Hi there.

Hi, Mary.

Hi, Mary.

Hi, Mary. I like to do all I can to help the challenged.

Hi, Sky. What did you wanna talk to me about?

Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. I'm Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Hmm.

Hold on a second. I've been through a trauma and I need a moment.

Horrible!

How come he's not answering?

How does it feel to have everyone wanna kiss you...

How is the, um, talent competition coming?

Howard Feinstein!

Howard thinks all the girls in school wanna sleep with him.

Huh!

Huh? You want me to spank your booty?

Hurry up before it's through

I I I don't understand. This is such a shock. What's wrong?

I bet you put that cherry lip gloss on just for me.

I call this The Fax Machine.

I called you here today to discuss your granddaughter's problem.

I can't believe he suspended you. It so wasn't your fault.

I can't let you be in any talent show, Mary.

I can't let you sign up for the audition.

I can't. I'm seeing Slater now.

I close my eyes so I can be with you

I couldn't believe my grandmother told Father Ritley I was a star.

I did The Fax Machine for you!

I did? I did?

I didn't want to do this.

I don't know how to tell you this.

I don't know. Maybe you could help me.

I don't play butt darts, okay?

I don't want to point the finger of blame, but...

I don't want you stinking up the place...

I don't want you stinking up the place...

I feel really bad because...

I feel really good about our chances, don't you, Sky?

I get low blood sugar and it

I got this after schooljob at Kip's Video Warehouse...

I gotta go. That's probably Sky.

I grew up in a little town called Besamee Heights.

I grew up in what people called the ugliest house...

I had a really good time on our date last night. Did you?

I hate to wake you up to say good bye

I hate you.

I have to close my eyes

I hope that you're as excited as I am...

I just hate the way I am.

I just need a big bra to strap 'em back and support them...

I just really wanna sign up for the auditions.

I just told you that to make you feel better.

I just wanna say... that I'm multitalented,

I just want everyone to know...

I just want my life to begin. Dreams can come true, you know.

I just wanted to say that I think...

I just wanted to say that I think...

I know I haven't known you that long or anything, but...

I like it when the men look at me.

I like sugar.

I love the ladies.

I mean, out there.

I mean, you're this way and I'm I'm that way.

I need some hot stuff baby, tonight

I promise I'll never lie toyou again, okay?

I promise, babe.

I said, Oui, and the next day I'm on the cover of Vogue.

I saw you outside doing that robot thing.

I should become a business woman.

I slid.

I stayed at school to study business,

I think I'm drunk.

I think I'm drunk.

I think it would work for me if we broke up.

I think Sky would have to be cr cr crazy not to wanna kiss you.

I think you look beautiful.

I think you look... great.

I think you think I'm seeing

I thought the more movies I watched,

I thought you said that Mom and Dad were savagely ripped apart...

I told her to move her big, white butt...

I used to watch that movie all the time. See ya.

I wanna hold ya till I die

I wanna hold ya till the fear in me

I wanna hold you

I wanna hold you till I die

I want you to do one thing:

I was actually wondering if any of you would be kind enough...

I was going through a really difficult time, but it's fine now...

I was just I was just doing my part to save the rain forest.

I was just talking.

I was just walking down the street one day,

I was rewinding Silence of the Lambs at the video store yesterday.

I wish I could dance with Sky Corrigan.

I wore this kiwi lime lip gloss just for you.

I would have to become exactly like those people I saw...

I would use my telekinesis to kill you.

I wouldn't say Superstar anymore...

I'd rather tell you honestly

I'll never ask for anything again if he does one thing for me tonight.

I'll spank it. I'll spank it. I'll spank you.

I'll, uh, see you later, Mary.

I'm I'm very sorry,

I'm always thinking of myself.

I'm gonna see the world, and the world is gonna see me.

I'm gonna spank you. You wanna be spanked?

I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut!

I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut! I ain't no slut!

I'm not giving you attitude. Just tell me what I did wrong.

I'm off.

I'm ready to go

I'm really going

I'm really sorry that I pushed you. It was an accident.

I'm sorry I almost drowned you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I never should have done that.

I'm sorry. Sky's not home.

I'm sorry. You had a little spot there on your brassiere,

I'm standing here

I'm suspending you for the rest of the day.

I'm trying to talk!

I'm using my telekinesis to kill the girl...

I've committed a sin of selfishness.

I've got two more. When I say booga booga, you booga booga.

If if

If I could win the talent contest, Sky's lips would definitely be mine.

If we really want to knock them on their keisters,

If you believe in yourself, then nobody can hurt you.

If you don't appreciate that,

If you're going on the stage, Mary,

If you're going to do this,

Ifyou must.

In a monologue from the made for TV movie Sybil,

In a movie with positive moral values?

In a movie with positive moral values.

In a movie with positive moral values.

In a movie with positive moral values.

In a movie with positive moral values...

In a new friend's hand, that's where.

In fact, they had all these other names for me.

In finding Mr. Right

Insanity! It's like three of the most gorgeous girls raising hell.

Introductions are important.

Is all I see when I look at me

Is allowed to make a fool of herself at the auditions.

Is ever so perfect

Is ever so perfect

Is hard alone

Is he the one you're going with?

Is just what I make it

Is Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Is materializing on a highway...

Is really quite simple

Is that all you got?

Isn't it romantic

Isn't it romantic

It began well enough. Your parents ate up that stage.

It excites me, Daddy.

It has been two days since my last confession.

It has been two days since my last confession.

It is a sin to even pretend that you're you're you're baked.

It makes me a little bit shaky.

It was bad. Blech!

It was okay.

It was the first place I really thought I had a chance...

It's all MaryMag delicious!

It's all right.

It's called The Move On With Your Life. Ha!

It's okay if He never does that for me.

It's okay.

It's something that I was thinking about doing for the talent show.

It's this really friendly place where everyone likes to say hi.

It's time to feed the retards!

It's your life, you know

It's, like, so obvious that you two are gonna hook up.

Just breathe.

Just tell me what I did wrong.

Just when it looked as though your parents would be triumphant again,

Just, like, audition anyway and don't tell her.

Karate kick.

Kip also had those made for television movies which I love.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Left to right

Let the music take control

Let the rhythm move you

Let the rhythm move you

Let's try it again. Eric Slater? Hmm?

Letting your body adjust to the cold.

Life is gloomy without you

Life is short but it's wide

Life is short but it's wide

Lifeguard!

Like a little animal.

Like I was there. Well, we seem to have a lot of

Listen to your heart. Do whatever it tells you...

Listen, I'll be back later to help you get inside, okay?

Listen, I'm looking for a made for TV movie from the '70s...

Listen, we talked about this last night...

Looked like they'd be the first to beat your mom and dad.

Lookin' for some hot stuff baby, this evenin

Make believing

Make fun of my st st stutter.

Man!

Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Mary Katherine Gallagher. Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Mary Katherine Gallagher. Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Mary Katherine Gallagher...

Mary Katherine Gallagher's subconscious idea of God.

Mary Katherine, aren't you supposed to be in the show tonight?

Mary, did you rewind the tape? The customer's waiting.

Mary, fighting VD isn't a joke. It's a very serious disease.

Mary, I know your soul is troubled.

Mary, I'm, like, really sorry...

Mary, I'm, like, really sorry...

Mary, it's time to go on stage. Go.

Mary, that was that was good.

Mary, welcome to special ed.

Mary, you know why your parents died?

Mary, you're a special girl,

Mary!

Mary!

Mary!

Mary! Stop it!

Mary?

Mary?

Mary.

May I have... this dance?

Maybe he'll murder some people...

Maybe the problem is not my granddaughter.

Maybe the problem is this school.

Maybe you want some of my salad all over your face!

Maybe. I have to be really honest with you.

Meet me at the gym. Bye.

Merely to be young

Merely to be young

Miss Gallagher

Miss Gallagher, howdoes it feel to be a superstar?

Miss Gallagher, so how does it feel to be an extra...

Miss Gallagher, what's that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?

Miss Gallagher!

Mmm.

Mmmmmm! Aah!

Mooooves.

Most bulimic girl at St. Monica's.

Mostly because I couldn't stop thinking about the one thing...

Motorin '

Mr. Feinstein, Pope a licious. I love it.

Mr. Slater, I presume. Hmm?

Mrs. Gallagher,

Must die.

My brother.

My child, during this time of great adversity,

My feelings would best be expressed in a monologue...

My goodness. This relationship is moving too fast.

My granddaughter is a star.

My grandmother won't let me audition for the talent show.

My head is full of good things

My head is full of good things

My journal.

My life

My life

My life

My life

My life

My life

My life, beautiful

My mom and dad died in this horrible accident when I was a baby,

My mother taught it to me. I taught it to your mom.

My pretty little girl,

My titties!

Na na, na na, na na, na, na Ow!

Na na, na na, na na, na, na, na

Na, na, na na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, na

Next up we have, um, Mary Katherine

Next up, uh, we have Sky Corrigan and Evian Graham.

Nice moves.

No big deal.

No boys.

No boys.

No matter what it took.

No, definitely not. No way.

No, I I'm just so high...

No, I can't.

No, I do like you.

No, I'm good. I'm God.

No, no! You have to study business.

No!

No.

Not too ladylike. I think we need to talk.

Nothing! We were

Notice how you tried to leave town, but it didn't work out,

Now do it. Do it. Do it.

Now you have to audition for the show.

Now you're giving me attitude.

Now, just my take on this,

Now, look, that's the real road out of Besamee Heights.

Now, my grandmother used to always say that when I grow up,

Now, upon reflection, I think a combination of prayer and Ritalin...

Of making my dream come true.

Of the Catholic Teen magazine's free trip to Hollywood...

Oh oh

Oh oh

Oh oh, oh oh

Oh, but wait. I'm still gonna see you around, aren't I?

Oh, dear God, please make this crazy kid go away.

Oh, Frances!

Oh, God, you smell so good.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. They're so big.

Oh, I know.

Oh, is that all you got? Come on!

Oh, Mary, I know you want to perorm,

Oh, my body.

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, no, Mrs. Corrigan. I just came by to give Sky this.

Oh, no!

Oh, right.

Oh, right. She's a superstar.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you can sit in the room

Oh, you're so bad.

Oh! Thanks.

Oh. Now you're giving me attitude?

Oh. Okay.

Okay, Evian. Hey, nice meeting you.

Okay, from Catholic Teen magazine,

Okay, I'll tell him if I see him. Nice knowing you.

Okay, just one for the road.

Okay, just stand there. Here. Stand here.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. I just wanna say one thing to all of you.

Okay. Now, they say that God works in mysterious ways.

On my own

On my own

On such a night

On such a night as this

One, two

Only things I wanna see

Ooh, ah.

Ooh, when your life is a film

Ooh!

Or anything like that, but I was wondering...

Or I would coldcock her honky ass.

Or maybe not.

Our last contestant tonight,

Out here

Out here

Outside your door

Ow! You hurt my titty.

Owen has obsessive compulsive disorder.

Owen kissed me five times on the cheek once.

PepperMill!

Perhaps this would be an opportune time to thank Howard's father.

Plastic.

Please just get me through tonight safely for my grandmother.

Please, God, convince my grandmother to let me be in the talent show...

Pop!

Problem, ladies?

Quite well.

Really like your choice of costume.

Really?

Really? I did?

Really? Please let me do it. Please let me do it.

Really? You think so?

Really? You think so?

Remember, he said you have nice moves.

Repeat: broken up.

Resist the urge that lingers in your loins.

Retard!

Retards!

Rotate!

Sam, what's up? Hey, Greg.

Sawing on a fiddle and playing it hot

See, technically, you're like in this REM sleep state,

Seventeen years ago,

Shall I look straight here?

She is so going to regret this.

She looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor.

She probably wants to try out for the squad.

She was a lean, mean fighting machine.

She was center for the girl's basketball team.

She'd also never run over a priest before.

She'd never said that before.

She's alive! You're all right.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Shh. Shh.

Show 'em who you are Be a superstar

Show them who you are Be a superstar

Shut up!

Shut up.

Sign up for the audition.

Sinful malady...

Singing in the moonlight

Sister Christian Oh, the time has come

Sitting there with her face all painted up and a little halter top.

Sky and Evian are gonna break up. Sky's gonna break up with Evian.

Sky Corrigan.

Sky would still wanna kiss me?

Sky, forget that stupid old movie. I'm getting Flubber again.

Sky, promise me,

Sky's a single slice of beefcake now.

Sky's definitely the Swayziest, but he's gonna dance with Evian.

Slater just transferred here from public school.

Slater, would you talk to me?

So a word ofadvice.

So basically, he asked you to sleep with him.

So each night before I went to bed, I would pray for God to help me.

So I let Sky go,

So I tried out for every star making activity that St. Monica's offered.

So it's over. Just like that. It's over.

So let go

So let's get things started with our first contestant,

So my grandmother took care of me.

So people make up stories.

So put that in your back pocket. Okay.

So special that we're going to put you in special ed.

So that I can get kissed, maybe by Sky Corrigan.

So that I could study as many superstars as possible.

So wake up What you gonna do, yeah

So what did you think of that?

So what really happened to your parents?

So what, if I am

So what, if I am

So when I say kick, you want to kick.

So why does everyone think you're crazy?

So you gotta have a solid plan

So you gotta have a solid plan

So you must be strong and resist.

So, are we all ready to fight VD?

So, I was

So, what are you going to do for us, Mary?

So... I guess this is good bye.

Some past authority figures, Sky, and your dad.

Something to say Get up and seize the day

Sometimes I

Sometimes I just

Sometimes I wonder

Sometimes when I get nervous, I stick my fingers under my arms...

Sorry I'm late.

Sorry, everybody. Sorry.

Sorry, Father Ritley. Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. I was

Sorry. Totally.

Spirit in the sky, in the That song's about me.

Staring at the paper on the wall

Starring Academy Award winner Sissy Spacek.

Starring John Travolta, The Boy in the Plastic Bubble?

Starring Miss Lori Singer from Footloose.

Starring Sally Field as a woman with multiple personality disorder.

Stop making me laugh.

Subsides

Subsides

Sugar is sweet.

Summer, Autumn, I need your help.

Super. Now,

Supermodel documentary hour.

Superstar!

Superstar!

Superstar!

Superstar.

Sweat

Sweet

Sweet Frances, please don't die.

Take it to the limit

Than mislead you with a lie

Thank you so much for making Slater my friend.

Thank you, Helen. Quite a feat of strength.

Thank you, Maria. Thank you.

Thank you, Thomas, for that tribute to Star Wars.

Thank you.

Thank you. I know.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. The amazing Sean!

That a few of you may already have come in contact with.

That even though Evian and I are dancing together,

That I wanted more than anything in the world.

That is the last time I try to help someone.

That means he was looking at your body,

That particular way you wanna be kissed?

That way or... this way!

That you haven't been s single for a long time...

That's all right. I was probably drowning before you got there.

That's from The Initiation of Sarah starring Miss Shelley Winters.

That's funny.

That's funny.

That's it. You're feeling sad.

That's me, Mary Katherine Gallagher. It's nice to meet you.

That's my 19th favorite made for TV movie of all time.

That's my entire story.

That's nothing to what your parents could do.

That's okay.

That's really insightful.

That's what you want. Don't you understand?

The Besamee Heights annual stepdancing competition.

The best guy dancer in the school.

The Body of Christ.

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble.

The dancers began stepping quicker and quicker, trying to keep up.

The decision is up to you.

The devil went down to Georgia

The Earth circles around the sun.

The first way, you take your toe...

The honesty's too much

The less they thought I was one.

The Let's Fight Venereal Disease Talent Contest.

The Lord God...

The more I kept trying to become a superstar,

The more they'd rub off on me, and people said that they did.

The only boy willing to go near me is Howard.

The school therapist says I have to apologize, so I'm sorry.

The stepdancing competition was fierce.

The talent contest?

The truth is that I'm being

The universe. How does it work?

The unthinkable happened.

The video store where I work got Spike Lee movies.

The year you were born,

Then could you tell him if he wants to talk to give me a call?

Then one day while me and my grandmother...

Then there's the second way of getting into a pool.

Then you take it to town

Then you've gotta play the leading role

Then, by God, no one's taking it from her.

There are 2 different ways of getting into a swimming pool.

There was only one way I'd ever get what I wanted.

There's Maria's parents.

There's this boy at school

There's two ways that you can get into the water.

These are my breasts.

They couldn't bear to live anymore.

They need to be hooked and strapped in for support.

They stomped your parents to death.

They were savagely ripped apart...

They're gonna see all of me, Daddy.

They're my big boobs.

They've been hit hard this winter, but the South remains warm.

Things just keep getting prettier

Things keep getting prettier

This is everything I've ever hoped for.

This is everything I've ever wanted.

This is my house. So, thanks.

This is St. Monica's.

This one is bigger than this one,

This was my chance.

Thomas, stop pretending that you're high on drugs.

Till I was blue in the face.

Till the fear in me

Till we both break down

Till we both breakdown and cry

To guide you to her.

To see who will win this free trip to Hollywood...

To show me the sign up sheet for the auditions.

To Sister Eileen? Why would you say such a thing?

Todd, peanut butter and jelly. Classic.

Todd, put your face up against the plastic.

Tonight is for me, not for Sky.

Tonight, I'm going for the full monty.

Two shows a day, six days a week.

Two shows a day, six days a week.

Uh oh. Is that the prettiest girl in all of St. Monica's?

Uh, you want a glass of water?

Um, Sky, I know...

Undeviled eggs! Lady crucifingers!

Use the gifts God gave you.

Used to step ball change...

VD infested, fiery pits of hell!

VD rules!

Very, uh, astounding.

Watch over me so that I can watch over her.

We all know you're a slut, Sybil Anne Dorsett.

We could either organize a walkathon to fight multiple sclerosis...

We don't have these.

We have teen gossip columnists George and Moira McDaniels.

We know you're a little slut. No, I'm not! I'm not a slut!

We rewind it. It ends.

We would not be here tonight if it wasn't for VD.

We're always provin'

We're dancing together, but we've grown apart.

We're going to need a chorus line.

We're just growing in different directions.

We're sort of accident prone.

We've got two days to the big show.

We've got two days to the big show.

Welcome and thanks for joining us.

Welcome to St. Monica's Catholic High School.

Well, come on, Super Sucks.

Well, I was just doing the robot.

Well, I'm gonna go wash off. Do you wanna come with me?

Well, I'm pleased to announce that the winner...

Well, I'm really sorry that I pushed you.

Well, it's show time here at St. Monica's.

Well, let's pretend that your life's a movie.

Were watching some old movie, it hit me.

What

What a wondeful life

What a wondeful life

What are you doing with my grandchild?

What are you doing with your hands?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you going to do, hit me too?

What are you looking at, boobsweat?

What are you saying?

What do you think Slater would do in the talent show?

What do you want from me?

What do you want?

What does that have to do with the talent contest?

What I'm about to tell you now is the truth, so help me God.

What if they make fun of us?

What say you take that positive attitude and apply it to

What?

What's your price for flight

When he came across this young man

When I call your name, just say here, hmm?Hmm?Hmm?

When I say dip, you dip.

When I say tap, you tap.

When I say tap, you tap.

When I'm down and feelin' blue

When introducing oneself, first make eye contact.

When we get together, it is, like, total, total and utter insanity.

When you wake up in the morning, audition.

Where I've been

Which means he thinks you're doable.

Who broke the good toaster?

Who I am

Who I wanna be

Who says I'm going with anybody?

Who threw pig's blood on me at the prom.

Who we are

Whoa,

Whoa!

Why I can't see you anymore.

Why?

Why'd I make everyone so insecure? Here's a clue:

Winner gets a free trip to Hollywood

With a chance to appear as an extra...

With a chance to appear as an extra...

With a confident smile, say, Hi. I'm

With some paint dance.

With some paint dance.

With the ugliest lawn and the ugliest dog.

Work me all night

Would you like to be a supermodel?

Would you please go back to your own class? Please. Go!

Yeah

Yeah, I'm okay.

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Yeah? Well, I just might wanna kickyour ass!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. All around me.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I do.

Yes, well, moving on.

You

You ask me if I love you

You can be the greatest at who you are

You can be the greatest at who you are

You can be the greatest at who you are

You can be the greatest at who you are

You can be the greatest at who you are

You can be the greatest at who you are

You did a really good job up there tonight.

You didn't know that you were competing against a...

You got something to say

You have some nice moves.

You have some nice moves.

You just broke up with her. We can't.

You know what, Evian? You should be really embarrassed...

You know what, Mary?

You know you want me back.

You like it? Huh?

You like kiwi?

You may call her hyperactive.

You mean, stepdancing like in Riverdance?

You must resist, children.

You passed the audition.

You really think so?

You said to jump in.

You said you liked the movie Carrie. How do you like it now, Mary?

You see that there? I danced in that show on Broadway.

You showed a lot of energy and enthusiasm, and I...

You shut up. 'Cause you're sexy.

You suck!

You think... Mary likes me?

You try to keep me trapped here in this small town...

You wanna be a star

You wanna be a star Be a superstar

You wanna be a star Be a superstar

You wanna be a star Be a superstar

You wanna be a star Be a superstar

You wanna be a star Be a superstar

You wanna go fetch? Go fetch.

You wanna quit looking at me, fruity.

You want a good bye what?

You'll be allright tonight

You'll be sitting behind a desk all day, safe.

You'll come back and kiss me.

You're a really pushy girl, and I might just wanna kick your ass.

You're a very mean girl, and you're gonna go to hell for saying that.

You're dead. How was it?

You're driving through the night

You're going to do it for yourself, like I did.

You're here. I'm there.

You're horrible!

You're horrible!

You're horrible! You're horrible!

You're not gonna miss theshow, are you?

You're nothing but a little slut.

You're so good.

You're the little boy that I saved at the pool?

You've got him in your sights

Your birthmark looks like shit.

Your birthmark looks like shit.

Your boss sent me back here to find a movie.

Your intense energy is making me feel a little bit bombarded.

Your parents entered...

Get up, get up, get up Get up

Get up, get up, get up Oh

Get up, get up, get up Ooh, yeah

Get up, get up, get up Ooh, yeah

The honesty's too much I'm outta here.

What's your price for flight Mary!

You're motorin ' Mary Katherine, please!

A bubble for me To be

Aah! You jump.

All I see when I look at me Slip a roo.

All of me! Mary

Amen. Shh.

And me. And me.

And they also called me Skid mark.

And where is your hand? Right here.

Are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

Are you the Lord? Well, to you I am.

Be kind. Rewind. Okay.

Beautiful I slipped. Everything's fine.

Boobsweat! Shut up!

But No buts!

But you just called me. Look, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

but you just kept on trying? Right.

But, Father Ritley Evian.

Bye, Evian. Hi, Sky.

CD player, huh? Yep.

Definitely not. No.

Dig the sneaks. Thanks.

Dogface. Panty stain.

Dogface. Panty stain.

Drugs are bad. Eric Slater? Hmm?

Enough for everyone Whoa!

Evian? John the Baptist lost his head

Excuse me. Whoa. Sorry.

Get the hell off me! No! I wanna stay!

Go ahead. Ah, look at you.

Go ahead. Okay.

Go shave your mustache, Helen. Or should we say Geraldo?

Go. Go. Go. I don't know.

Good. Superstar!

Help me through Help her through

Hey, cut it out! Wanna make something out of this?

Hey, Mary. Hey, what's up? What's up?

Hey, Tom, sorry your dad's dead. It was him.

Hey. You really do have some nice moves.

Hi there! Howdy, neighbor.

Hi, Grandma. It's gonna come true, baby

Higher! Kick higher! I can't. It's hard.

Higher. Higher. Like ballet.

How are you? It's going okay.

Howard Feinstein? Hmm? Yo! Present.

I call this one The Pepper Mill. Don't stop, don't stop it

I don't mean on the cheek. Okay, who do you wanna kiss?

I really want to audition. You want to be a businesswoman.

I want some hot stuff Enough! Come on!

I would have to become A superstar.

I'm a horrible swimmer. Really?

I'm taking her home. Mrs. Gallagher!

Is he home? Yes, he's just

Is something wrong? Look, I can't talk right now.

Is this your stereo? Yep.

It feels okay. Miss Gallagher.

Loser. Did I say lesbo?

Mare, we're, like, really nervous. Yeah.

Maria Ganitisis? Here.

Mary Katherine Gallagher. Not bad. Try again.

Mary, it's too fast. Just keep going.

Mary, please get off. No!

Mary, rewind this. Oh, sure.

Mary, stop that! Stop that now! Look! Look!

Mary. Leave me alone!

My name is... Helen Lewengrub.

Nipple hair. Lame.

No, you shut up. Make me shut up.

No. Please?

Not yet. Sorry.

Nothing. It's called a bra, Mary.

Oh, and most important, Yeah?

Oh, my God! Oh, my me!

Oh, yeah. Sorry. Come on. It's two dollar Tuesday.

Okay. Okay.

Ooh! Well, you know what?

Owen Flanagan? Here. Here. Here. Here. Here.

Poor Evian. Lucky you.

Razzle, dazzle! I don't know what that means.

Really? Hey, Owen.

Retard! Shut up!

Roadside thing's freaking you out? Who are you?

Shut up. You shut up.

Sky and Evian are breaking up. Oh, my God!

Sky. Sky.

So you know what it's time for? What?

So, you're okay? Yeah.

Sorry. It's gonna be okay.

Thank you. You have some nice moves.

Thank you. I know. Mary started the whole thing.

That happens a lot. Yeah.

That's my 19th also. Wow.

The Body of Christ. Amen.

The Body of Christ. Are these nonfat?

The devil's got a big hard Uh, Maria!

There's my grandmother. Oh, my God.

Thinks keep getting prettier So pretty

This is not funny. Shut up, man! Mary!

Thomas Smith? Here.

Totally. Wow.

Vivica, low fat salad. Sky Corrigan.

We don't know what to do. It's okay.

we're still broken up. Yeah!

What are you doing? Uh, t t t testing the water.

What are you? Gay? Five times more gay than you think.

What do we do? Just follow me.

What for? I did what you wanted me to do.

What? Look at that face.

What? You know. Get jiggy with it.

What'll it be? Hmm? Hmm.

What's booga booga mean? I don't know.

What's his problem? I got the D.T.'s, Mrs. Gallagher.

When I say They get it, Grandma.

Whoo! Everybody dance now

Windmill, windmill! Windmill, windmill.

Yaah! Aah.

Yaah! Hey!

Yeah? Cool.

Yes, Evian? Yes, Evian?

You are so dead. Go drink a bottle of yourself.

You are your own rainbow. Wow.

You have to get off me. No!

You made it. Made what?

You should kiss Howard. Ugh.

You want half of my Sloppy Joseph? No, thanks.

You're cool? You scared me.

You're not supposed to say my name. Oh. Okay.

You're telling me that it's over. I guess so.

...throughout the New England area.

'cause I know how hard you worked to impress Sky tonight.

'Cause it sounds like someone I used to go out with...

'Cause maybe that's all it would ever be

'Cause that way Sky could see how talented you are,

'cause this is a mommy and that's a baby.