Yes Man (2008) Edit

A $250 loan for a mountain bike, $600 for windsurfing lessons.

A covenant.

A hundred acres isn't so little, hon. Not in Tahiti, anyway.

A Ionely guy, Carl. Lonely guy.

A little more than average, then.

A little vitamin C. Keep your strength up. I will be right with you.

Absolutely.

Again, I'm pretty sure she was just here checking on Carl.

AGENT 1: Sir?

AGENT 2: We've been tracking you. We know who you are.

Ah!

Ah!

ALL [SINGING]: You can put the past away

All of the activity that appears suspicious...

All right, now I got it.

All right. He punched me right in the face, man.

All right. Look, gets you out of the house, I'm all for it.

ALL: Surprise!

Allison, are you okay?

Allison, I'm here.

Allison, please, can't we talk for a sec?

ALLISON: Farther. Yeah.

ALLISON: I teach a jogging photo group...

ALLISON: It seemed like you fainted. No, I told you my foot caught a nail.

ALLISON: It's in Griffith Park and we do a loop. It's about five miles.

ALLISON: Okay. Because I thought it was all the chicken beaks in the bucket.

ALLISON: Ooh

ALLISON: Ooh

ALLISON: Ooh

ALLISON: Right.

ALLISON: Run!

ALLISON: So you okay?

ALLISON: The earliest switchboard operators' headsets...

ALLISON: This is crazy. I know, but it's great.

ALLISON: What if I'm one of those chickens...

ALLISON: What?

ALLISON: Whatever I want.

ALLISON: Where does someone go in Lincoln, Nebraska?

Allison?

Allison.

Allison.

Am I going too fast for you?

Am I right, Carl?

And actually, we're gonna start a tab...

And because you've given out so many of them...

And can you do it kind of soon? I think I'm starting to get a chill.

And guess what? She doesn't like my best friend.

And how do we control the external? With one word.

And I know that you have issues because of it, but this isn't about you. It's about me.

And I left a pile of laundry in my room. Don't forget, no starch. Love you.

And I'm scared too.

And I've got this thing I gotta do, so I'll be seeing you.

And if you never want to see me again

And if you never want to see me again

And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui...

And some nude modeling, FYI.

And that band made rock 'n' roll.

And that's why I'm gonna give the job to you.

And the ground rules are there are no ground rules.

And the word you will have said 2 million times is:

And the word you will have said 2 million times is:

And then surprise, he ended it, out of nowhere for no reason.

And they said if you started to show some initiative, I could promote you.

And we were that band.

And what is that word?

And what's your business?

And when you break a promise to yourself...

And with that card, I get access to the whole place.

And you lost the love of your life...

And you're not sure about this, are you?

And your band's MySpace page. And your Facebook page.

And?

ANNOUNCER [ON PA]: Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it...

ANNOUNCER: The energy is palpable here, Chris. I can't even hear myself think.

ANSWERING MACHINE: You have three messages.

Any other night would've been great. Darn it to heck.

Anybody can take a photo standing still.

Anyway, don't worry about it. It'll lead to something good.

Anyway, I am gone orrhea.

Anyway, I never would've met Allison if I hadn't said yes to the homeless guy.

Are you currently a member of Persianwifefinder. Com?

Are you going to be asking a lot more question? I don't got all day.

Are you hurt? Are you hurt? You're okay?

Are you ready to make a covenant?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? You say yes to everything?

Argh!

At first I thought you might be raiding our coffers.

Back at you, Roon. Lee, I hardly know you, but I feel comfortable.

Back up just a little bit more.

Bad, but I don't wanna sound desperate.

BARTENDER: There you go.

Beautiful night, guys. You take it to the limit, and I respect that.

Because I am open for business, okay? Oh, where'd I go?

Because I'm gonna take this foot...

Because the old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody.

Before we begin today, I'd like to welcome our new members.

Bridal bingo? How do you play bridal bingo?

Brilliant, Carl. Where'd you get that? Your literature?

Buddy, can you move over a little bit, like two feet?

But don't call me at 11 'Cause that's my rule now

But I don't wanna be with you. I don't know you.

But I wanna be with you.

But I'm afraid it's caught up with us. Now you and I have to face the music.

But if I hadn't done that, I never would've met you.

But it's the kind of dazzle we need around here.

But let's really sell this. Give them a show.

But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I wanna share it with you.

But then I looked closer.

But you can walk me to my scooter.

But...

By the way, your new living room furniture looks great from the yard.

Bye, Carl.

Bye, Carl.

Cake?

Cakes, huh?

Can I borrow a couple bucks?

Can I do it again? Can I do it again? What's wrong?

Can I get a water?

Can you hang on a minute, Lee?

Can't anyone get one of those cards?

Can't really see it right now, unless you do this.

Carl Allen. Never thought I'd see the day, my man.

Carl gets promoted in lieu of Demko, or along with Demko...

Carl look a little odd to you? Is it me, or does it look like he's kind of dead?

Carl, get outside. I know you're not talking.

Carl, I know you're not saying anything.

Carl, if somebody asked me to describe tonight, I would just go, Ow!

Carl, live your life! You won't regret it.

Carl, man, hey.

Carl, that was so awesome.

Carl, what are you doing here?

Carl, what would you say if I asked you to work upstairs with the big boys?

Carl, would you like to throw Lucy a bridal shower?

CARL: Big step, huh? Yeah, it's a big step. It's a huge one.

CARL: Come and get it.

CARL: Don't, please.

CARL: Hey, Carl. Do you wanna give all your money away to a homeless guy?

CARL: Hey. Thought you hung up the spurs, cowboy.

CARL: Hold that.

CARL: Holy Jesus.

CARL: Homeless.

CARL: I almost blocked it. Didn't get there in time.

CARL: I can't believe I tripped like that.

CARL: I mean, I'm still gonna be attracted to you if you're a chicken.

CARL: I told you, my foot caught a nail.

CARL: It's with the universe. It's a big deal.

CARL: Listen, I'm not gonna think anything less of you if you don't wanna do this.

CARL: Oh, yeah, that's getting very popular now.

CARL: Okay, so you're in a band...

CARL: Persianwifefinder. Com. No, thank you.

CARL: So anything else we need to know?

CARL: That's great. That is sweet, Carl.

CARL: We really did. Yeah. We did, bud.

CARL: What is it?

CARL: Wow. I haven't been up at 6 a.m. In, like, never.

CARL: Yeah, I ride double all the time on the scooter with Allison.

CARL: Yeah, that's cool. I've done some charity work.

CARL: Yeah, that's getting it good. Yep.

CARL: Yeah. I'm gonna assume at this point, it's, well...

CARL: Yes always leads to something good.

Carl? Hey, Carl! Psst!

Carl.

Carl.

Carl. Hey. Long time no see.

Carl. Peter.

Change is generated from consciousness, but where is consciousness generated from?

Check out the phone.

Closed off little box boy, tender topic. Probe no further.

Come on inside. I'll explain everything.

Come on, come on.

Come on, lady.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's step this thing up a notch, Broseph.

Come on, man.

Come on, what are you talking about? Here, ask me again.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. Let's get into shipshape.

Cool.

Costume party. Come as your favorite Harry Potter character.

Costume party. Yeah, no.

Costumes for what?

Could have fooled me with that modeling comment.

Could you drive me to Elysian Park?

Course, I have been having a lot of luck lately outside of that hotel.

CROWD: No man. No man. No man. No man.

CROWD: Yes!

CROWD: Yes!

CROWD: Yes! CARL: Jeez.

CROWD: Yes. Again.

CROWD: Yes. Yes!

CROWD: Yes. Yes!

CROWD: Yes. Yes.

Did I pause there? I could probably knock a couple milliseconds off that if you...

Did we make out? Oh, right, we did. Now I remember.

Did you block your number?

Did you block your number?

Did you just run out of gas?

Did you see The Legend of Billy Jack?

Did you wanna get that? In the privacy of your office?

Do we need to use a flash?

Do you dance?

Do you wanna drive?

Doesn't sound silly. Well, maybe a little silly.

Don't try anything. I'm gonna kill myself, so don't try to stop me.

Drinks on me.

Ducati.

Easy, easy. It was a little misunderstanding, okay?

Even if I had met you, I never would've asked you out.

Ever had Red Bull? I never had Red Bull. Had Red Bull last night. I like Red Bull.

Ever think things got screwed up...

Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball.

Every two months, the typical loan officer approves 35 to 40 loans.

Everyone I know has got a reason

Everything I said I meant, except about living together.

Excuse me, but pleats are kind of out of style.

Excuse me. Could we get another round of drinks?

Excuse me. I'd like to apply for a small business loan.

Expelliarmus! Just kidding.

Explain this, jackhole. As Chief Loan Officer at Brea Federal Savings and Loan...

FARANOUSH: Carl, could you please pass the Cholula?

Faranoush. It was nothing. I can explain. I can explain.

Feels strange to be going home, doesn't it?

Fine? I wipe my ass with fine.

First of all, what were you doing in my car?

From the external.

Gee, that sounds great, but I can't.

Get in here. It's okay. I got you.

Get out of there. If I wanna say no, I'll say no!

Go ahead.

Go get the ball!

God bless you, man.

God.

Gone, never saw him again.

Good evening, Los Angeles.

Good God.

Good to know, if, you know, if I ever need to...

Good to meet you, too. Thank you. And hey.

Got a case of Red Bull. Gonna pull an all nighter. You down?

Got it. Yep.

Got tons of it at Costco. You see, I've got an exclusive membership card.

Great.

Guess, mess.

Guy from Corporate's here. Don't look. He wants to talk to you.

Had your number dialed, was about to press send.

Had your number dialed, was about to press send.

Happened once, it happened twice

Happy networking, asshole.

Has somebody called the police?

Have a good night.

Have you ever driven one of these before? They're quite powerful.

Have you ever tried that? It's fun.

Have you recently started taking flying lessons?

Haven't received confirmation of any sort from you. At all.

He did it.

He helped me erase your MySpace page.

He never did much.

He used up your phone?

He was staying connected. It was good to see.

He's gonna blow your mind all over the room. He's like a mind grenade.

He's not here.

Hello there.

Hello, everybody.

Hello, Jake, Penelope, Rodrigo, Phillip, Zachary.

Hello, Jake, Rodrigo, Penelope, Phillip, Zachary.

Hello?

Hello. Wondering if you had a moment...

Here we come.

Here we go.

Here. I have to protect you.

HERMIONE [ON TV]: Oh, bye.

Hey, buddy, you all right?

Hey, buddy.

Hey, Carl, you okay?

Hey, Carl.

Hey, did you ever meet my friend lan? He's a computer hacker.

Hey, I have an idea.

Hey, I saw you on TV. That was amazing, Carl.

Hey, l...

Hey, lady, move that dog.

Hey, man. That's a nice car.

Hey, Pete, you mind putting that on a coaster?

Hey, Rooney, come here for a second.

Hey, there he is.

Hey, why don't you come to my class tomorrow?

Hey, you, another bump of hot sauce.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Are we gonna fight or what?

Hey. I came.

Hey. It's really working. Ah!

Hey. Out of gas make out guy.

Hey. What do you think you're doing, asshole?

Hey. Who were those guys?

Hi there.

Hi, Norm.

Hi.

His name was Marx.

Hit me on the cell this week. Let's do it again.

HOBO: And what did you say?

HOBO: He never listens.

HOBO: Oh, I'm just right over here. Okay. Yeah.

Hold it right there.

Hold on a second, I'm thinking.

Honey, show him.

Hopefully the color will return to your face sometime soon.

How about some toast, huh?

How are you doing that? Ay!

How come I never see you with a girl over there?

How did you know what that meant? Have you heard me say that before?

How did you pull this off?

How did you two meet again?

How's it going? What are you guys doing here?

Hurry, there's no time to lose. We have to find shelter.

Hurry. Somebody's coming. And I think I see something. Hurry.

I admit, business has been slow.

I am gonna have to repay you somehow.

I bake cakes in the shape of different celebrities' faces.

I can buy large quantities of anything at discount prices.

I can explain to you in more detail if you want.

I can see you, Carl. I'm outside the video store.

I can't believe I didn't tell her I was married. I'm such an idiot.

I can't put my finger on you. You're kind of unpredictable.

I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. I ate bat in Laos.

I could have. Had a couple offers. Didn't wanna get tied down.

I couldn't agree more.

I didn't ask you out.

I didn't even see the red zone. I've only been here for 20 minutes.

I didn't know what to expect, but I guess I figured...

I didn't realize I was dealing with a no man.

I didn't think I had anything to share.

I do wanna take guitar lessons. I do wanna learn how to fly.

I don't care. I didn't really want the job badly.

I don't know about that.

I don't know how people go through life with the same boring routine.

I don't know if I'm gonna be able to say yes to this one, Till.

I don't know what to say here. I'm stumped. I'm baffled.

I don't know what you want me to say.

I don't know.

I don't know. I think I love you.

I don't know. I'm kind of leaning towards thinking he might actually be dead.

I don't really know what it is.

I don't think that's what she was asking for, but all right.

I don't think there's anything written down in your fake calendar.

I don't wanna commit. I don't wanna be tied down.

I don't wanna hear another excuse, Carl. You do whatever you want.

I don't want anything complicated.

I especially love it in cream. What do you think?

I gave them your insurance. The whole thing's being handled.

I got a bunch of stuff going on. There's this thing I gotta do.

I got a new necklace. Glows in the dark.

I got an idea.

I got blisters on my fingers.

I guess I never saw him a lot, so it's hard for me to tell the difference.

I guess I'll just stick with the program. Keep saying yes to everything.

I guess.

I have been such a dick and a douche.

I have had some trouble.

I joined bro with Joseph. Broseph. Pretty cool, huh?

I just called in a few favors, kept throwing money at it.

I just don't wanna be kept alive artificially.

I just figured after five years, I'd be the logical choice, but whatever.

I just wanted to tell you that I don't wanna live with you.

I keep trying to think of reasons why she should, but you know what?

I killed her.

I know it sounds silly...

I know that, Marv, but you have no equity.

I know there isn't that much demand for photographs...

I know, Carl. I know that Stephanie left you.

I know. It's so frustrating. I just wanna grab these people and shake them.

I like maybe.

I like to keep it fresh. I like to live it up. I like to mix it up.

I love that.

I love you like...

I love your music.

I made a sacred conevant.

I mean, a part of me felt like something wasn't right from the beginning.

I mean, do you even know my fiancee's last name?

I mean, it's real nice of you to give me a ride. Most people just say no.

I mean, someone's trying to kill himself.

I might get shit canned, Norm.

I need to speak to my attorney.

I never could have finished the suits without it.

I never would've guessed that. You seemed so at ease on two.

I said that.

I saw it in your eyes, man. You're gonna love this. Terrence is a genius.

I shot a cow with a bazooka.

I should be prepping my case for Monday, but I cannot miss this.

I should have said yes right away, you know?

I should say something to you here.

I think it's about all those loans you've been approving.

I think yes.

I thought he was it, the one, or whatever.

I thought if I said yes to things and got involved with people...

I thought you lied all the time, but it's just sometimes. That's excellent.

I told you, I need you to remove the covenant.

I volunteer at a shelter. I paint a little bit.

I wanna snap your neck and spit on you You said, Who are you?

I wanna start an organic fertilizer distribution business.

I want you to invite yes into your lives...

I was gonna tell her. I just never...

I was just about to call you. That's so weird.

I wasn't gonna say anything.

I wish you would step back From that ledge, my friend

I would understand

I would understand

I would understand

I would understand

I would understand

I would understand

I would understand

I'd like to thank you all for coming...

I'd like two tickets on the first plane out of here, please.

I'd shrug my shoulders, and I'd say whatevs You said, Who are you?

I'll just be one minute.

I'll see you at the bottom. Unless you pass out.

I'll see you there, buddy. Roger, out.

I'm a somebody.

I'm a yes man.

I'm afraid I can't discuss that with you, since we're only taking Carl.

I'm getting so forgetful.

I'm glad we had this experience.

I'm gonna hop in the bed just in case the nurse comes back.

I'm in.

I'm just glad that I could be a part of it, really.

I'm just saying yes to life, homes. You gotta say yes to life.

I'm just so jammed up.

I'm not at the video store. I'm in my apartment.

I'm not going home, not really.

I'm not proud of that last one, but I did it, man.

I'm not your late night booty call

I'm over here, dickhole.

I'm so glad I came out. Love it. Okay, you know what? I gotta go.

I'm sorry, man. It's all our fault.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Was I speaking to you?

I'm telling you, you don't change your life, you're gonna end up Ionely.

I'm thinking it'll get people off my back about the male nurse thing.

I'm totally off the grid, you know?

I'm wondering if there's a better setting for this back and forth.

I'm your biggest fan. Bang!

I've been all over the map, man. I've lived.

I've been thinking...

I've come this far.

I've known that I like you for a while, but just now I decided that I love you.

I've never let anyone kiss me on the stage of the Hollywood Bowl before.

Idiot. I'm the wrong guy.

If I got a call that said you were dead You said, Who are you?

If I had my thing in front of me, I could tell you what it is...

If that doesn't jive with you, we should end this.

If the molehill won't come to Terrence...

In an unrelated note, everyone else can go jump off a bridge.

In my nightmares.

Is there any way you could come in?

It doesn't sound complicated. Is it complicated?

It happened three times, Maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe

It just didn't work out. It's a long story.

It was a spontaneous vacation.

It was a stupid idea. I shouldn't have said anything.

It was between you and Demko, and they went with Demko.

It's a Ducati.

It's at 6 a.m.

It's beautiful, man. It's beautiful.

It's been years. You leave every time she comes.

It's gonna be a crazy night.

It's him.

It's just a little further, man. Just right up the hill there.

It's just a little life that needed saving. No big deal.

It's like my photography.

It's Lucy Burns, Carl.

It's me again.

It's okay, man. We just met. She knows it's not exclusive.

It's starting.

It's the same as regular bingo...

Jackoff.

Jesus, Pete. I'm not in or I'm busy.

Jesus, that nurse couldn't be any more obvious.

Jump.

JUMPER: Move out the way. WOMAN 1: Somebody help him!

Just felt like calling you. I was missing you, I guess. Weird, huh?

Just relax. I'll handle this.

Keep going or this'll do, because it doesn't really matter?

Keep your hand there like in a shake. The other hand goes around for a hug.

Keeps it fresh. I'll see you guys.

Kicks the crap out of dealing with those peons, huh?

Kind of dragged on.

Kind of mysterious.

Kind of why I'm sitting outside here, eating my lunch, wearing the nametag.

Know what? I called Demko this morning...

LEE: No, Carl, this is not the same.

Let me guess, Carl.

Let's get this guy a drink. He doesn't have long to live.

Let's hope it doesn't taste like Mickey Rourke.

Letting him burn out your phone...

Like I need that.

Like you were committed to saying what you were saying...

Listen, I'll make it up to you. I promise. I swear.

Look at it this way: At least you didn't get shit canned.

Look how close I'm getting. Hey, Allison, it's me, Carl. I'm here.

Look, I know the philosophy has some holes.

LUC Y: Hey. Is that Carl?

LUC Y: Hi.

LUC Y: We're engaged.

MAN 1: Crazy, man.

MAN 1: Don't do it. JUMPER: Don't point at me, buddy.

MAN 1: Good one. I got it. I got it.

MAN 1: Oh, shit.

MAN 1: Take it easy. MAN 2: Here you go.

MAN 1: Yes.

MAN 2: Come on, Carl. Yes.

MAN 2: Yes.

MAN 3: Yes! NICK: Whoo!

MAN 5: Yes.

Man, that sounds great. I wish I could join you.

Man, you terrible at this. Are you even a cop?

MAN: Come on. Jerk. CARL: I'm sorry.

MAN: Down on the ground. Whatever you say.

MAN: Good show tonight. Come check us out.

MAN: Hey. What are you doing? Oh, shit.

MAN: Nice shot.

Man. Moving fast. That's okay.

Maybe we should speak privately. Come on outside.

Maybe.

Might be.

More of a douche than a dick, probably...

My mother likes good food.

Never avoid opportunities.

Next stop, Azkaban.

Next time you should warn me about the length of the story, though.

Next.

Nice dog.

Nice little raise in it for you too. Bump up your salary to 65.

Nice work, Carl. Bump my fist.

Nice. Carl, does that work for you?

Nick Lane? Hey.

NICK: Whoo! SECURITY 1: Hey, stop. Stop!

NICK: Yes!

No big deal. I know a lot of people who are willing to give.

No man. No man.

No man. No man. No man.

No means no.

No need. I know our music isn't that mainstream.

No problem. Have a good night.

No, don't think so. But I can talk to someone, if you'd like.

No, I didn't pause. It was just a big step.

No, I don't at all.

No, I don't have my car anymore. I've got my Ducati, thanks to you.

No, I don't mean okay. Just give me a second.

No, I just got a lot of stuff going on...

No, I think it's great. Throw this away for me, will you?

No, it says specific things.

No, it's a pretty common expression.

No, it's me, Norm, just a reminder about the party tonight.

No, it's Wes P., Big C. Did I catch you at a bad time?

No, man, no, man, no, man.

No, no, no, no

No, no, no. No, no. I don't think so. No.

No, thanks. I'm fine.

No, that's not the point.

No, wait. Before we give our answer...

No, you don't.

No.

No.

No. Hey, after we jog, we should get a Red Bull.

No. I take it that's what happened to you.

No. In fact, I think you should go faster.

No. No, she's not.

No. Why would you assume that?

Nope. No more than usual.

Norm, that's amazing. Oh, my God. Thank you.

Norm. Hey, thanks for coming, man.

NORMAN: Alrighty, gang. Who wants to watch Chamber of Secrets?

NORMAN: Hi, Car, this is your answer phone speaking.

NORMAN: Inta maresting.

NORMAN: That's all right. Bye.

Norman. Line one.

Not when the sun's up, Reggie.

Nothing I like better than the inside of a bank on a beautiful Saturday.

Now, that's upsetting.

Now, this is the really interesting part. If you don't take the heads off properly...

Oh, and thanks for the loan.

Oh, boy.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on. You're halfway through, just snap it off already.

Oh, could I? Could I really?

Oh, God, look who's here.

Oh, God!

Oh, God! Oh, no. Oh, my...

Oh, God. It's starting to rain.

Oh, great.

Oh, I can't. I have to wake up early.

Oh, I forgot, I gotta pick up costumes for me and Allison.

Oh, I know what's happening. There is this guy who looks just like me...

Oh, jeez.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, just doing a favor for a neighbor is good enough for me.

Oh, just hanging out in my apartment.

Oh, man.

Oh, my God, you guys really had me going there.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. That's so funny.

Oh, nice. I like your style. Car. That could be yours.

Oh, no. Oh, shoot, you're kidding. That was tonight?

Oh, please.

Oh, really?

Oh, right. Nailed it.

Oh, shit, man. Your battery's dead.

Oh, Soo Mi, pleats are out?

Oh, thank God. Terrence. You have to remove the covenant. It's killing me.

Oh, where'd I go?

Oh, wow. Thanks. My knight in shining armor.

Oh, yeah, right. Sorry. Can I borrow your car?

Oh, yeah. That's about right, then.

Oh, yes, there was.

Oh, yes, they did.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Hey, man.

Oh. Hey, man.

Oh. Kaching! Wow. Cool costume, my man.

Oh. Ugh...

Oh. Yeah, right.

Okay, bridal bingo very simple, okay?

Okay, guys, all aboard the Hogwarts Express.

Okay, guys, everybody ready? Cameras loaded?

Okay, if you must know, we lived together.

Okay, it's okay. I got this. I got this.

Okay, people, let's go.

Okay, we're done. We've been drinking.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. A lot of energy. I like it. Everybody, this is Carl.

Okay. But if I win...

Okay. I'll see you tomorrow...

Okay. That should just about do it.

Okay. Wait, so wait. You have to say yes to everything?

On that thing?

Once you leave this building...

Ooh, heavy.

Ooh! Jeez. That was very healthy.

Or not.

Patience is a virtue.

Perfect.

Perfect.

PERFORMER 1: And that band ate arame and other sea vegetables.

PERFORMER 1: And that band was rad.

PERFORMER 1: From the dawn of time... PERFORMER 2: In the netherworld.

PERFORMER 1: There was a band.

PERFORMER 2: Yeah.

Persianwifefinder. Com. It's pretty cool. You should check it out.

PETE: Carl, I know it's you.

PETE: Carl, I know it's you.

PETE: I'm not falling for that, Carl. What's to figure out?

PETE: Look who's here. CARL: Hey. You.

PETE: Oh, God, that is Stephanie.

PETE: Twenty bucks says Oklahoma kills them.

PETER: Hey.

PETER: I like it, I like it.

PETER: It's Peter. I'm sure you're aware and completely on top of it...

PETER: It's Peter. I'm sure you're aware and completely on top of it...

Peter.

PILOT: Okay, I'm totally off the controls.

Please welcome to the Hollywood Bowl Munchausen by Proxy.

Please, find a seat.

Pleasure to meet you.

PRIEST: Thanks, guys.

PRIEST: You're a good man, Carl.

Pull?

Really?

Really? I've always wanted to try it. Yeah.

Really? What did they say?

Red Bull.

Remember that promotion we were talking about?

Right? Call me.

Right? Call me.

Right.

Right. I was just saying to Agent Tweed...

Right. I was just saying to Agent Tweed...

Rodrigo and the guys at the bar. They can't be trusted.

Rolling Rock, please.

ROONEY: Carl, it's Roons. Thanks for letting me use your car.

ROONEY: I don't believe it. CARL: Rooney.

ROONEY: Okay, okay.

ROONEY: Yo, Carl, hitting the clubs.

Say

Say it a million more times.

Say it a million times. Say it a million more times.

Say, Wake up, you. You're missing out on a little thing called life.

SECURITY 1: Stay right there.

SECURITY 2: He's gonna break. Stop.

See what I did there?

See you on the other side, Lee.

See you, guys.

See you, guys.

See, Car, you worrywart.

Seeing how Corporate's treating you.

Seriously, I dated this guy and I was astounded at how content he was...

Several months ago, my client attended a self empowerment seminar...

She always used to say, I'd rather eat good food...

She asked me to move in with her and I hesitated. That was like a no.

She has no clue what she's doing and she doesn't care.

She was coming in the room. It's like, Give me some space, woman.

She's good. What have you been doing?

She's never gonna go to a ball.

She's spontaneous. She's ballsy.

She's the complete opposite of me.

Smaller than I thought they would be. Hold on, I'm vibrating.

So anyway, my answer is yes. I'd be happy to go out with you.

So anyway, we're gonna have an engagement party on the 21 st. Open bar.

So each one of us invites 1800 of our closest friends.

So I can expect delivery anytime between 8 a.m. And 5:30?

So I have some carry on here.

So just say yes...

So let's be scared together.

So listen, I got a job for you. We're shutting down a bunch of branches...

So look, we're kind of short on Saturday staff.

So my friends are being really lame...

So we are really excited for you to be here, Carl...

So you didn't wanna come to my show...

So, what are you doing?

So, what do I do? I just...

So, what do you think?

So, what happened to closed off little box boy?

Someone gets a beak in their bucket or a mouthful of tendons...

Someone talked you into coming here today, didn't they?

Something's going down on a big scale.

Sorry, Faranoush.

Sorry, this seemed interesting.

Sorry.

Specific things. Like get in line at the video store?

Specifically I'm talking about 15 to 20 percent.

Start talking, Carl, if that is your real name.

Steph...

Stephanie, Ted, hey.

STEPHANIE: Carl.

STEPHANIE: Hello? Stephanie?

Sucks I'm gonna be out of town.

Sure he can. Right, Carl?

Sure, Faranoush.

Sure, let me sit down. I knew you'd come.

Sure.

Sure. It's all yours.

TED: No.

TERRENCE [ON PA]: Life.

TERRENCE [ON RECORDING]: Chapter 26, Words That Rhyme With Yes.

Terrence said this would happen if I said no. That's ridiculous.

TERRENCE: It is nonsense.

Terrible timing too, because you just got here.

Tess, that's a name. Less, a word and a name.

Thank you.

Thanks, Faranoush.

Thanks, Terrence. Sorry about the car, and your head there.

Thanks, that's really sweet.

Thanks.

That Demko thing really chapped my ass. I marched upstairs and I told the big guns:

That is a...

That is so nice.

That makes me nervous, but that's normal. It's big.

That sounded naughty.

That sounds like a fucking great idea!

That sucks. That happened to me last week.

That was a long time ago. I was gonna tell you.

That way if we crash, at least I'll die.

That... Oh...

That's a good look.

That's good.

That's great. I would have to say...

That's how the whole thing got screwed up. I broke the covenant.

That's not true. You can say no if you don't want something.

That's okay. I blocked it and deflected it back.

That's probably who you're seeing.

That's really something. Doesn't Red Bull make you crash pretty hard?

That's Rooney and my friend Lee. He's a nurse. I was making fun of him.

That's weird. I didn't realize we just stepped out of a maybe seminar.

That's why you got punched out...

That's why you're here.

The covenant, it's coming down hard on me, man.

The next flight available for boarding...

The only one they had left was for toddlers.

The way we're gonna do this is we're gonna go after the...

The word is yes, Carl.

The word yes has changed my life. Here.

Then why are you plotting to attack it?

Then you're saying yes, not because you have to...

There is a middle ground here. You can process things.

There is no covenant. There never was. I was just riffing.

There it is. Deal with it.

There you are. You want some?

There's a crazy man in the terminal. Red alert.

There's a lot less demand for a small Rollerblade shop...

There's a time crunch, and time is of the essence.

There's me and my friends. That makes eight or nine very unstable people.

There's no greater feeling in the world, is there?

These people are so grateful to have their needs met...

They may come in any form.

They're touching each other's genitals. Isn't that amazing?

Thing, you know, just a thing.

Thing? What thing?

This is Allison and her wand made from a sequoia.

This is the single biggest donation that we've ever had.

This is unreal.

This one is nice.

This wasn't drinks at a bar, Carl. This was my engagement party.

This'll cheer you up. I'm having a little get together at my place.

To say

Totally unrelated. It has nothing to do with Stephanie.

Tried to fight for you on the phone there.

Uh huh. Are you sure? Because... Okay. Yep. Whatever you say.

Uh...

Um... Oh...

Very cool, Norm.

Wait. I've got it.

Was I chewing gum before?

Wasn't a good anything.

Way to stick in there.

We are all living it. Or are we?

We are Sparta!

We got a fainter down in Head Removal.

We had this big fight and he stormed off.

We hit a couple raves last night. It was totally off the hook.

We just wanna ask you a few questions.

We knew another Karl we weren't too crazy about, didn't we, Tweed?

We should do this every weekend. We could see the whole world.

We shouldn't just jump into that without thinking.

We'll have the employment contract to you by the end of the day.

We're all going out tonight.

We're doing a week in Tahiti. Ted's father owns a little piece of property there.

We've never done this before.

Well, and your boss, but more your buddy than your boss, right?

Well, clearly we should go there.

Well, do you need a ride?

Well, I was wondering if you could help me put up some shelves.

Well, I'm just... I'm not in a serious thing, but I am dating.

Well, I've won some competitions. Watch this.

Well, maybe at first it is, but that's just to open you up to it...

Well, maybe you need to start being the right guy.

Well, thanks, Carl.

Well, these things have a way of working themselves out.

Well, they were quite attracted to the me walking option, you know, for a moment.

Well, we had a nice run.

Well, whoever said it, it made me very uncomfortable.

Well?

WES: Carl.

Wes? Can you hear me?

Wesley T. Parker. Vice President, Brea Federal Savings.

What an asshole.

What are you doing?

What are you saying?

What can I do for you?

What did he call me?

What do you say, Carl?

What do you think?

What has it been, six months?

What if I...

What the hell are you looking at?

What the hell you doing in there?

What up, my brizzo?

What was that?

What, do you live here now?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? God, no. Oh, I totally lost my phone.

What? Hello? Hello?

What? What are you talking about?

What's even more unusual are the amounts.

What's going on, Norm?

What's going on?

What's your name?

When I asked you if you wanted to move in...

When you say yes to things, you embrace the possible.

When you were driving out of your way...

When's the last time you did anything fun? You always make excuses.

Where you going, man?

Which ones?

Who are you, man?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who are you?

Who do you think I am? I'm scared of a lot of things.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa. Yep, I got it.

Whore no more

Why did you purchase these plane tickets at the last minute?

Why did you purchase these plane tickets at the last minute?

Why don't you stop smothering me? Seriously. It's way too much too soon.

Why don't you take a stroll through the hills...

Why don't you take this rock...

Why not? That'd be great. Yeah, I'd love that.

Why not? You do it with everything. You say yes to whatever comes your way.

WOMAN [ON TV]: Welcome to yes. We are about to begin.

WOMAN 1: Yes, yes, yes! WOMAN 2: Yes. Yes!

WOMAN 2: Don't do it.

WOMAN 3: It can't be that bad.

WOMAN 4: I know it's not what I think it is. MAN 2: Just stop.

WOMAN: Oh, it's a good one.

WOMAN: Where are you traveling today? Los Angeles.

Would I like to increase the size of my penis?

Would you be the man for me?

Would you like to carry a 20 pound container of gas up a giant hill to your car?

Would you like to come over for a little breakfast?

Wow, that's amazing...

Wow. Okay.

Wow. Really? You've been thinking that?

Wow. That didn't sound quite right. Oh, well.

Wow. That's rough. I'm sorry.

Yeah, but he's got a thing.

Yeah, bye.

Yeah, exactly. It's like you said: I wasn't open to stuff, and now I am...

Yeah, hold on a sec, I can't hear myself think.

Yeah, how do you fight what you can't see?

Yeah, I did. You never answer when I don't.

Yeah, I do. Say yes to everything. Real tough to grasp.

Yeah, I noticed that.

Yeah, I'd love to.

Yeah, I'm good, unless you wanna stick around and make out.

Yeah, Rooney?

Yeah, that's a good point. Hold that thought. Allison!

Yeah, that's a thing. There's a thing, and there's no time.

Yeah, we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight, all right. Okay?

Yeah, we're just gonna pick a place. Kind of an eenie, meenie, minie thing.

Yeah, we've got, well, drinks, you know...

Yeah, why not?

Yeah, you were.

Yeah? Oh, I hear you, player.

Yeah? Same story you were singing about last night?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah. And I'm getting some exercise, which is cool.

Yeah. Apparently he was the most popular homeless man on the planet.

Yeah. Carl's pretty short already, but...

Yeah. Fisher. Fishman.

Yeah. He'll be dead before they get here. Somebody needs to talk him down.

Yeah. I asked Carl and he had to say yes.

Yeah. I just kind of went with my gut on it, Norm.

Yeah. Strong lyrics. You just make that stuff up?

Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Well, I got a friend I want you to meet.

Yes, Carl. I have to go.

Yes, I did. That was my idea.

Yes, I would like to learn Korean.

Yes, nice to meet you. Thanks for coming. Come in.

Yes, we were.

Yes, yes, I do.

Yes, yes, yes.

Yes, you can.

Yes!

Yes.

Yes. Since that's my only fucking option.

Yes. You won't regret this, Carl.

You all right?

You and I could get a Red Bull. We could share.

You are so handsome.

You can call me at 10:59

You can weigh them individually and make decisions on a case by case basis...

You can't audit life, my friend. Now get on up here.

You could cut ties with all the lies That you've been living in

You could cut ties with all the lies You've been living in

You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have anything close to a girlfriend.

You don't think I'm scared of anything?

You gave a man money to start a fertilizer business.

You gobble up all of life's energies, and you excrete the waste.

You got a whole lot there. Can I have it all?

You got anything with a flat front?

You got it, Norm.

You gotta squeeze every drop of juice out of this experience.

You have given out...

You have got to start saying yes, my man, and I mean to everything.

You just don't know how to use it, that's all.

You just got here, too, Carl.

You just lay back and I will take care of everything.

You know that when you're a kid...

You know what, buddy? You missed my engagement party tonight.

You know you and I are a lot alike?

You know you don't belong

You know, a sexual release?

You know, but maybe it's supposed to be.

You know, I have to go to work, but thanks.

You know, I've never let anyone drive my scooter before.

You know, listen.

You know, taking her day by day.

You know, who cares? The world's a playground.

You make up excuses to the people around you...

You may be my last loan.

You might notice the front bumper missing. Not to worry.

You might wanna get out of the way.

You must be running this place by now.

You must be Tillie.

You paused.

You pick the day. Any day you want, we'll go out, swashbuckle.

You really have to be careful. Okay? These things have a lot of...

You said that.

You said, Who are you?

You said, Who are you?

You say no to life, and therefore you're not living.

You spoke at the same time I did just then.

You think? Seems pretty airtight to me.

You wanna get dinner tomorrow night?

You want a drink?

You want some, huh, more?

You wanted to say no but you couldn't. You had to say yes.

You were being difficult, embarrassing me in front of my crowd.

You were feeling it. You were in the loan zone, remember?

You were married for six months. Some immigration thing?

You were the complete opposite of me. You did things and had friends...

You weren't scared of anything.

You wouldn't be on a date with a strange woman.

You'll be making a promise to yourself.

You're a complete...

You're a soldier on the front line of finance.

You're dead, Carl.

You're hilarious. Oh, that's great.

You're officially flying by yourself.

You're right.

You're so full of shit.

You're stuck in the same dead end job. You have been for years.

You're welcome, but it was Carl that made it all happen.

You're with Norman.

Your instinct is gonna be to brake with your chin or your forehead.

Your loss. Hey, man, wanna rock out tonight?

Allison? ALLISON: Yeah?

And Lee, he's a male nurse. PETER: I know Lee.

Are there more beers in the fridge? Sorry, last one.

Are you aligned with the North Koreans? No. What?

Are you kidding? It's not how it sounds.

Are you stalking me? No. I would never do that.

But then I threw that off the table. Good move.

But you want to. Oh, yeah.

Buttercup Girls. Buttercup Girls.

Can I call you Soo? Yes.

Can I have my helmet back now? I'm still wearing it, aren't I?

Can I use your phone? Go, man, go.

Carl Allen has reported for duty. I'm not a soldier, Norman.

Carl, this is everybody. Hey, everybody.

Carl, what are you doing? Let's go. All right. I can't please everyone.

Carl. Allison.

Carl. Hey, Nick.

Carl. Yeah, it's me.

Come on up, future yes man. CARL: That's okay, I'm just auditing.

Come on, Carl, run. Thanks.

Come on, you gotta have creepy fans. I don't think so.

Come on. Hey. Can I have one minute?

Come on. Look out. Oh, hey.

Could that, like, be my nickname? Yeah. I guess.

Do you hate America? No. Of course not.

Do you hate your country, Mr. Allen? CARL: What?

Do you know what that means? Fired?

Do you love me? Definitely.

Do you mind, Reggie? Seriously, dude.

Do you wanna move... Yes.

Do you wanna throw that rock at the bank? Yes.

Do you want to make a covenant? Ugh...

Do you? Uh huh.

Don't worry. I got your back. You don't have anybody's.

Even if you don't like it? No, of course not.

For what, bombs? No.

Friday. I'm out of town.

Get away from me. Okay.

Get in there, play the zone. Come on.

Good dip, huh, H.P.? CARL: Mm.

He keeps talking this covenant nonsense. It's not nonsense.

He's really been drinking. CARL: Seriously, man.

He's really into it. You say yes to everything?

Hello? Carl, it's your buddy Norman.

Hello? Hi, Carl.

Here it is. Yeah. There it is.

Hey, great gig or whatever, you know. Thanks.

Hey, guys. Hey.

Hey, honey. LUC Y: Hey.

Hey, I'm part of this too. No.

Hey, you're getting better. Yeah, not bad, huh?

Hey. Good to have you with us. WOMAN: Yes.

Hi. You must be Norman.

Hi. Did you just take my picture? Maybe.

How many people can this place even hold? Like 17,000.

How you doing? Can't complain.

How you holding up? I'm okay, Car.

How's Stephanie? Good.

I can't see. I'm blind. Me too. Isn't it great? Whoo!

I can't think of any. Pete, l...

I guess they're in Nebraska. Wow.

I haven't fighted in a fight since grade 7. I know.

I know you wanna see my band. No.

I love it. Yeah?

I never really thought of them as... Hang on, hang on, hang on, just a second.

I said, I'm cool. TERRENCE: Before that.

I think I'd... Red Bull.

I think we both grew from it. Call me. You asshole.

I think you and I need to step outside. No. God, no.

I was. I was watching you.

I would never do that. I would if I could, so why wouldn't you?

I'd really... Red Bull.

I'll just get it here. Yeah, or that.

I'll see you later, Tillie. That was wonderful, Carl.

I'll work on that. Yeah, just trim the fat.

I'm engaged. Oh, yeah.

I'm more of a four wheel kind of guy. Really?

I'm not gonna say that word. Okay, maybe's fine. Maybe's good.

I'm not sure I want that. Yeah, but you need it.

I've certainly heard a lot about you. Isn't that nice?

In my circles. I made it up. Well, it's catching on.

Interesting. CARL: Look at this.

It comes from personal experience. Cool.

It happens with age. Don't worry about it.

It's a funny hat and or wig party. Oh, man.

It's all I can think about. Really?

It's Burns. Burns?

It's so crazy. Yeah.

Just shoot me. I know. Right in the face.

Lee? Hey.

Lee. What are you doing here? I'm a nurse, remember?

Lf I can explain... Yeah, certainly. WES: Sit down.

Looks like she's with someone there too. They seem to be thriving. Good for her.

Lucy. Faranoush, Lucy. Lucy, Faranoush. Hello.

Make me believe it. Yes, yes, yes.

Maybe we should just go somewhere else. It's okay. I'll talk to her.

Maybe. Come on.

Missed it. I was gonna fist you. Here's some fist.

Mm hm. I'm so sorry, man. I totally gapped it.

My boyfriend, Ted. Hey.

My man. Hello? Don't do it. I'm coming.

No offense, Faranoush. None taken.

No, I didn't pause. You paused.

No, I'm not doing bridal bingo. Come on.

No, no, I'm just hanging here. Okay, okay. Just checking in.

No, thanks. Then ask me if I want to.

No, thanks. I'm cool. I'm sorry? What was that you said?

No. How did you know that?

No. Two years.

No. CROWD: No man. No man.

No. No. Carl, you're gonna stay. What?

None. And your credit...

Norman, this is Soo Mi. Hi there.

Not this time. I think it's over. Yeah?

Oh, come on. But thanks for the offer and the image.

Oh, darn, I forgot to go to the bank. Oh, that's okay.

Oh, good job. AGENT 1: Let's go, funny guy.

Oh, I just love good food. So do I.

Oh, it's you. Let me guess, no? Yep.

Oh, John Goodman. No, it's Alec Baldwin.

Oh, my God. Come on. PETE: Right?

Oh, Stephanie. What's wrong? Can you come over?

Oh, that's an interesting one. Yep. And it's half price, so...

Oh, wow, Mickey Rourke. No. It's Bono.

Oh! Hi, Tillie. Morning, Carl.

Okay, that'd be fu... Red Bull.

Okay. Excuse me. Could l...

Okay. Lee? What do you need?

Okay. Okay.

Okay. What do mean, Okay?

Okay. You got it.

Okay. Tillie, there you are. Hi, Carl.

Open bar. What's the problem? I'm serious. Stephanie's at the bar.

Over here. CARL: Please don't. Jesus.

Pass those out, will you? Sure.

Persian wifefinder. FARANOUSH: Hi there. I am Faranoush.

Pete? Hey. Where you been? You not been getting my calls?

Problem solved. Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

Reggie, come on. Dude.

Riffing? Well, I had to say something.

Rooney. Stephanie, guys.

Rooney. ROONEY: Congrats.

Say it a million times. MAN 4: Yes.

Say it again. Yes!

See what I mean? Yeah. Nice ride.

Shower. Shit. It's on.

Sir, stop right there. Eat me.

Sir, you need to get back to your room. No, I don't.

So are you gonna do it? I don't know. Maybe.

So bad. Oh, God, me too.

So I have to go, but... Oh, really?

So the whole yes thing is all bullshit? No.

So where you headed? I'm meeting my girlfriend here.

Some cereal, a little yogurt? Yeah, no.

Sometimes. Oh, good. What a relief.

Sorry, pal. Can't help you. Oh, come on. Can't you give me a break?

Sounds wild. Wanna know my secret?

Stay with me tonight. Oh, Steph...

Stop. Stopping.

Ted and I are taking a little boat ride. Oh, that's great.

Terrence, don't freak out. What the fuck?

Thanks. Pace yourselves.

Thanks. Sure.

Thanks. Well, gracias, amigo.

That makes perfect sense. I told you. I said that.

That must feel good. Oh, truly, truly.

That sounds like a lot of fun. Can you imagine?

That sounds... Red Bull.

That was really wonderful. Thank you.

That's Bert. He's in fertilizer. Hey, B.

That's early. Yeah, but it makes for amazing pictures.

That's not entirely true. How do I know if anything you did...

That's not me. It's not?

That's not right, is it? Carl, I need you for a second.

That's so true. Yeah.

That's the best wedding shower ever, man. Man, you deserve it.

The Stephanie? Yes, my ex wife. She's at the bar.

Thousand? Of course, thousand.

Torque.

Try to resist that. CARL: Right.

Very first phone call ever. Pretty cool.

Wait a second. Wait a second, wait a second.

Wait right there. You got it.

Wait. Fishwall? Fishwall?

Wanna see a... Oh, sorry. You know what? I'd love to.

Wasn't a good friend. Nope.

We are Munchausen by Proxy. You're kidding me.

We can't do this. Why? You scared?

We don't have that much of a following. What are you talking about?

We don't know where we're going. Really?

We know what you're planning. This is insane. Do you think I'm a terrorist?

We know what you're planning. This is insane. Do you think I'm a terrorist?

We're gonna make a covenant, Carl. MAN 1: Yes.

Well, thanks again for the ride. No problem.

Well, thanks for coming, guys. So nice to meet you.

Well, you do have to. Yeah.

Well, you're doing it. Yeah?

Well, you're okay with that, right, buddy? Yes. Yes, I am.

What are you doing here? I know. Is this crazy or what?

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture. Smile.

What are you gonna do? I don't know.

What are you, nuts? Go to the seminar, Carl.

What do I do here? Oh, you don't have to do anything, Carl.

What do I think? Uh... Yeah. Oh, God. You paused.

What do you know about that? Pretty sexy.

What does that even mean? I don't know.

What time is it? It's 5:40 in the morning.

What? I love doing it.

What? I think you have the wrong guy.

What? What did you say?

What? All right. Carl.

What's wrong? I just really need to talk to you.

Whew. That was close. What the hell, Carl?

Who among you is new? NICK: He is. This guy right here. He's new.

Would you like a release? I'm sorry?

Would you mind helping me? Absolutely, yeah. No problem.

Yeah, but you are, Car. Yeah.

Yeah, put in a good word for us. That would be great.

Yeah, the whole cake thing. Yeah.

Yeah, we'll figure it out. What's there to figure out?

Yeah? I don't know, Carl. I'm so confused.

Yeah? Lincoln.

Yeah? She's still not calling you back? No.

Yeah. And you know what I did?

Yeah. I have no other options left.

Yeah. It's not gonna happen.

Yeah. I stood by and let it happen. Norm.

Yeah. Tap it. Thanks for walking me through that.

Yes, but you don't understand. Yes? Who is that?

Yes? No, I meant yes to your no.

Yes. And not because I have to. Great.

Yes. CROWD: Yes!

Yes. CROWD: Yes.

Yes. Oh, come on. Why did you learn Korean?

You all right? Yeah. Yeah.

You called me Norm. Yeah.

You did get my text, right? What? Text? What?

You didn't say it like that. Not with an accent.

You didn't say it like that. Not with an accent.

You didn't say that. PETE: I did.

You don't know what day it is. When is it?

You don't still work at the bank, do you? Yeah.

You don't wanna work here, Carl. Yeah, I do.

You know what I did? What's that?

You made it, man. Did you wanna...

You mind coming with us, please? I'm sorry?

You okay? Yeah, I'm good.

You only get married once. I certainly wouldn't do it again.

You seem a little hyper. Had a couple Red Bulls.

You think her name's Lucy Fishwall? No? That's wrong?

You were married? CARL: Yes.

You're leaving? Yeah, unfortunately.

You're making up nicknames. Okay.

... but just wanted to make sure Lucy's shower is still on for tomorrow night.

... for your University of Nebraska Cornhuskers.

... than bad food any old day of the week.

...561.

...a.k.a. What normal people do.

...and get killed by the Manson family? Don't mind if I do.

...and good people, just like you two.

...and I know it's crazy, especially for me...

...and I need you to tell the managers. Shutting down branches?

...and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...

...and nobody's offered to throw me a bridal shower.

...and our good friend here, Carl, will be taking care of it.

...and sang in rock bands and made life happen.

...and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.

...and things are changing for me. It's like the era of yes has begun.

...and to yourself.

...and you got a lawsuit on your hands.

...because his mouth is moving in sync with what you're saying.

...because it will RSVP yes.

...because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs.

...because she deserves that.

...because we have an announcement to make.

...because you got the wrong attitude right out of the gate.

...because you said yes without thinking, not because of a covenant you made?

...but because you know in your heart that you want to.

...but I know there's a thing. A thing.

...but I'm sorry. I should have been there. I mean, really.

...but maybe that bad stuff will lead to something good.

...but maybe when we get back we should move in together.

...but my designs are gonna revolutionize the roller industry.

...but only if you really want to.

...but somewhere along the way, everyone forgets it.

...but you just yell embarrassing facts about the bride, okay?

...chips, dips...

...every time an opportunity presents itself...

...for no other reason than you genuinely wanted to.

...for people who want to both exercise and practice photography.

...how I wanted to take a fun filled vacation to Lincoln, Nebraska.

...how I wanted to take a fun filled vacation to Lincoln, Nebraska.

...I can't believe it. It's kind of ridiculous.

...I can't.

...I get to take that pretty girl of yours to a ball...

...is to Lincoln, Nebraska.

...it's all because he must say yes to any opportunity.

...just living his life in this closed off little box.

...let's talk money. Dollars and cents, Wes.

...like an adult, you were gonna weigh the options.

...more than 98 percent of them are following through with payments.

...no matter what it is...

...not because a covenant tells you to...

...regardless of what I was gonna say. Hm.

...so you can't call AAA when you run out of gas?

...sooner or later, they'd find out I'm not enough.

...taken while running, but...

...Terrence will come to the molehill.

...that requires him to say yes to any request that's presented.

...that took a lot for me to do that, and I meant it.

...the flying lessons, the spontaneous trip taking...

...the other word?

...then everything gets mixed into the batch.

...things can get a little dicey.

...throw it at that bank and shatter the window?

...to ask if he could work, and know what he said?

...to discuss the Church of Jesus Christ. Yeah, come on in.

...to drop off a homeless guy who wore out your battery so you couldn't call AAA?

...to get you started.

...was because you wanted to or because you were following some damn program?

...we're actually making a lot of money. Carl, these micro Ioans, not bad.

...weighed over 10 and a half pounds.

...what with Big 5 and Sport Chalet...

...whichever, or I walk.

...who goes to a lot of the same stores I do.

...whose head doesn't get severed and my beak ends up in the bucket?

...you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate.

...you didn't wanna go jogging with me, you didn't wanna travel with me?

...you do the jogging photography, what else?

...you will say yes.

(CROWD Yes!) Yes!

(CROWD Yes!) Yes.

[ALARM RINGING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

[ALL SPEAKING KOREAN]

[ALLISON LAUGHING]

[ALLISON LAUGHING]

[ALLISON LAUGHING]

[ALLISON LAUGHING]

[ALLISON LAUGHS]

[APPLAUSE]

[BARKING]

[BARKING]

[BOTH CHEERING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

[CAMERAS CLICKING]

[CAR STALLING]

[CARL & ALLISON LAUGHING]

[CARL GRO ANING]

[CARL LAUGHING]

[CARL LAUGHING]

[CARL SCREAMING]

[CARL SINGING CAN'T BUY ME LO VE]

[CARL SPEAKING FRENCH]

[CHUCKLES]

[CO YOTE HOWLING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CROWD GASPING]

[CROWD GASPING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

[DING]

[DOG GROWLING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[GASPING]

[GRO ANING]

[GRO ANING]

[HOBO LAUGHING]

[HONKING & TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HORN HONKING]

[HUMMING]

[IN DEEP TONE] Bonjour.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] First, we have to establish the ground rules.

[INHALES]

[INSTANT MESSENGER CHIMES]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

[MAKES CHEERING SOUND]

[MAN GRUNTING & SCREAMING ON TV]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

[MEOWING]

[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

[MOUTHING NONSENSE]

[MOUTHING]

[NICK LAUGHING]

[NICK WHISTLING]

[NORMAN SOBBING]

[OWL HOOTING]

[PEOPLE GASPING]

[PHONE BLEEPING]

[PHONE BLEEPING]

[PHONE BLEEPING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PHONE RINGS]

[PLAYING THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER]

[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SINGING CAN'T BUY ME LO VE]

[SINGING CAN'T BUY ME LO VE]

[SINGING CAN'T BUY ME LO VE]

[SINGING] Don't call me past 11 p.m. It won't happen again

[SINGING] I should have been the one To break up with you

[SINGING] I wish you would step back From that ledge, my friend

[SINGING] I would understand

[SINGING] The angry boy a bit too insane

[SLURRING WORDS] Boy, you guys are really into this yes thing.

[SNIFFING]

[SOO MI SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKING KOREAN]

[SPEAKS KOREAN]

[TECHNO MUSIC BLARING FROM STEREO]

[TECHNO MUSIC BLARING]

[TECHNO MUSIC BLARING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[TIRES SCREECHING & HORN HONKING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TUNING GUITAR]

[UP TEMPO MUSIC BLARING]

[WHISPERING] Just don't break my teeth off on the curb, okay?

[WHISPERING] Should you talk about Allison in front of Faranoush?