Goon: Last of the Enforcers (2017) Sport Edit

A championship in his first season starts off

A dick explodes, a baby is made, and a father is born.

A document, I go hmm hmm,

A fucking beast for Reading.

A fucking lesson you'll never forget. Got it?

A long time. That's right.

A lot of cars in our driveway.

A lot of p's. What's he doing?

A lot of shit affects both of us. Ahem!

A shot blocked by Laflamme. Attaboy, Flamer!

Aaaah!

Aaaargh!

About my fucking mom, which, you know...

About skating, Doug? You see what I do in there.

About you guys? I care! I fucking care!

After fucking game.

Ah, fuck it, I want both of them.

Ah, I can't say I'm not sad to see you go,

AH, SHIT!

Ah, this sport is everything to you, right?

Ain't done yet. Thank you very much. You're the fucking man, Ross!

All over the floor! Oh! Fuck!

Alright, here we go. What the fuck did I just say?

Alright, shut the fuck up.

Alright? "Wake 'em the fuck up." Yes, sir.

Alright.

Alright.

Alright. Twenty minutes.

Always driving away the ones you love.

And a career is evolution.

And Anders' old team, the Reading Wolfdogs.

And Cain and Glatt each serving suspensions,

And do you think I want to be fucking...

And even more awkward Cain family Boxing Day. I mean,

And everyone else you're still fucking here.

And gentlemen, the Bruised and Battered Competition

And get a fucking dye job, you old man. Fuck you!

And he cuts it to the length that I want him to cut it in.

And he wants to plays hockey? He was fucking

And here comes Doug Glatt. Hortense calls him back. Glatt, come back here!

And here comes Laflamme dancing up the centre ice.

And I am so excited about this restaurant. Me and the baby

And I cannot think of a better leadership tandem...

And I see all of you cheering me on, I know my time

And I'll fucking kill both of you! And you!

And if you could just remain seated,

And if you wanna do something, then...

And it better not have come out of that fucking sturgeon.

And it's tied 3 3. Great goal

And its backup enforcers. You know, you got Gretzky and McSorley.

And kill penalties and block shots

And like three or four states. Stand up.

And maybe there... there is a time for everybody...

And put up the points as well. Anders and Xavier Laflamme

And somehow, Halifax have been able to keep

And that left hand's never gonna be as strong as your right,

And that ugly piece of shit gets out of that fucking box,

And that's when I got bit by the selling insurance bug.

And the fucking pussy ripping open.

And the Highlanders continue to be their own worst enemies

And there's all these documents?

And these guys are being left to their own devices.

And time after time after time, he's proven he's not the fucking guy.

And we both gave shit up. This is what growing up is.

And we have a baby coming.

And we'll give him a shot, see if he's got what it takes.

And we're gonna burn their fucking flesh off,

And when we're done with that,

And with just 10 games left in the season,

And you can provide that. Let's go! Come on, come on!

And you fell asleep and pissed yourself.

And you need to know

And you two, you're like

And you're more than that.

And... and not fight.

Anders Cain and... Uh oh!

Anders Cain as captain. There you go.

Anders Cain wants it badly; he shoved

Anders Cain who's coming off that career high

Anders is the prototypical

Anders now finds himself up against his own father's team

Anders, that's enough!

Animals eat pieces of dog shit. I'm not a fucking animal, man!

Any more tricks up his sleeve.

Anything about documents.

Anyway, Halifax's woeful losing streak extends

Apparently bleed a lot. That's fucking right!

Are getting first shift tonight. Belchy,

Are gonna eat the shit out of some pad Thai.

Are on the ENHL tonight as the Reading Wolfdogs

Are we these people now? This is... this is who we are?

Are you just gonna throw that away?

Around now to Totan. Here we go!

As Laflamme moves through the neutral zone, gives it across the line.

As they remain on the playoff bubble.

As they trail the Wolfdogs 3 to 2. A win tonight

At the blue line. Now, Carlson,

At the Highlanders' home barn, the Halifax Metro Centre.

At the tip of the spear. You need a cap.

Aw, f... Fuck sake!

Ay, ay, ay, ay... Ohhh!

Back home you'd like to give a shout out to?

Bareknuckle prizefighting, too. Jesus!

Be giving you shit?

Be nice.

Because I got a pair of balls, not two pieces of pussy.

Because it's not fun. At all.

Been hearing that shit for a decade now.

Before I actually knew you. I mean,

Being like force fed fucking junky piss.

Best wishes. Doug Glatt.

Breathe hard? Dougie, you're on.

Breathe, Eva. Breathe.

But don't get me wrong, I love her to bits,

But I can't be scared shitless every time you go out there.

But I just kind of want to go home now.

But I love you and...

But if you change your mind, just know

But Laflamme holds up, jams out. He scores!

But leads the League in penalty minutes.

But make no mistake, that is a man.

But perhaps after tonight, there should be.

But remember, once a Highlander...

But so long as Sherilyn owns it, it's a bed and it's free,

But that bed pan fills up fucking fast.

But the fucking very moment I fell in love with you,

But the real story here is the physical play.

But then she's not the only dude I'm fucking.

But trust me, it will fuck somebody up.

But we saw what he did to him; so what's that dressing room

But when I step out on this ice

But you and your son, not exactly Walter and Wayne.

But you have to do one thing for me.

But, tell you what, motherfucker can still bang.

Cain decks one, decks two.

Cain gets it over to Totan. Get on the puck!

Cain just keeps pouncing.

Cain takes a good look up the ice.

Can the Highlanders find a way to turn things around?

Can't storm the front of the net. Flips it back.

Captain speaking! Captain time!

Carlson looking back, takes the puck

Cheap shot!

Come on, boys! This is not how we kill a fucking penalty!

Come on, get 'em in ya! Mmm.

Come on, let's get after it, boys!

Comes down to this one game.

Cut!

Dammmmn.

Dammmmn.

Deal with 'em. Belchy!

Deep into the corner.

Deep into the Wolfdogs' territory. The puck goes

Disgusting!

Do it.

Do what you gotta do, but keep it clean, OK?

Doctor said

Does everything it needs to do.

Doesn't try to end careers.

Dogging the team. This coming just weeks after controversial

Doing what he does best. His tilt with Ross Rhea still

Don't look at them, you dumb fuck; look at me.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. What poor bastard

Dope, right? Dougie?

Double penetration.

Doug Glatt, like a huge ******* freight train

Doug, do you wanna

Doug!

Doug! Doug! Doug! You fucking son,

Doug! Doug! Doug! Doug!

Doug.

Dougie, my new thing; I'm all about going

Dougie. We're gonna see if he's fit enough to play. Right?

Down at the other end is Laflamme hovering

Down here with us wearing our jerseys.

Down your throat. Yeah, bring it on!

Dropping fucking hot meatball loads from my asshole.

Easy, big fella. Alright, here we go.

Eat up minutes, grind the shit out of them,

Eva's cousin, he's got a job opportunity at an insurance company.

Every fucking last one of us

Everything at us now, but the kitchen sink.

Evgeni Yakovlena!

Evolution.

Evolve or go extinct.

Faceoff alongside Ross Rhea. Former combatants.

Favourite part of the practice for me:

Fighting over life jackets. Pierce Brosnan was screaming.

Finds Stevenson. Stevenson dumps it

Five seconds left.

Five seconds to go on the St. John's power play,

Flamer, Dougie, Rhea off the hop.

For a second, you Ruski fucking pricks. The best revenge

For an interesting locker room dynamic

For Anders Cain.

For Fan Appreciation Night. Doug! Doug!

For Halifax GM and Highlanders' hall of famer

For organizing the fuck out of this!

For retired fourth liners with only one rule:

For the Highlanders tonight. Their entire season

From Reading, number 13, Anders Cain.

Fuck are you doing here?

Fuck hockey league Chernobyl disaster

Fuck yeah.

Fuck you, Glatt!

Fuck you! Hey!

Fuck, what would a leader do? What would a fucking leader do

Fuck! And down goes Cain

Fuck! No! No more fucking candies!

Fuck. I wanna win.

Fucked up the first part of this season. Find a way to be relevant!

Fucking boys of the light brigade, and you're gonna need someone

Fucking door to door selling fucking china deluxe.

Fucking Isis.

Fucking kids these days with their fucking...

Fucking mother Russia's herpes, man!

Fucking right! Good luck, bud.

Fucks, you turn that fucking puck over one more time,

Game...

Game... after fucking game.

Gatorade! Where's the puck?

Gatorade! Where's the puck?

Generally, it's polite to ask. Go watch some curling

Get set to take on the Halifax...

Get your ass back to the bench. Gonna kill this thing.

Getting ready to go. Anders Cain, no help

Give it to another guy! It's how insurance works!

Give it to him, Johnny!

Give me the good stuff. Give me the... No, no.

Glatt fires a left. He fires a right.

Go in and say a quick hello? Well, I'll be honest.

God dammit!

God, Jesus! Are you OK? Yeah.

God!

Gonna look like with him and Glatt in it?

Good for you.

Good hustle, eh? Good hustle, heart;

Got a little heat going down, right?

Got injured. Right arm.

Got you, buddy.

Great save by Nikola! Rossy, watch Flamer's back.

Had a massive heart attack. Yep,

Halifax and Reading still tied at a goal apiece.

Hangout allegedly involving the Highlanders themselves

Hate this sport.

Have a little rust.

Having fun, singing,

He beat me.

He doesn't want to fucking play. Let's go.

He fucking gets it. Fuck!

He goes straight toward Totan.

He knows what's at stake. We go all in for Anders...

He pretty much ended Dougie's fucking hockey career.

He scores!

He scores! NOOOO!

He smiles! He fucking gets it!

He takes it in behind. Here comes Owens.

He was faster...

He was unlike anybody I've ever fought before.

He was wearing my C. Are you fucking kidding me?!

He's already proving to be a difference maker

He's bloodied! He may well be unconscious.

He's destroying this team. What's that?

He's got a cannon, he winds it up.

He's got Stevenson on his wagon.

He's so mad! Highlanders win

He's, he's staying. No, he's gone. Shit.

Hear, hear.

Here at Cornwallis Insurance. Hmm! You seen the commercials?

Here once again is Laflamme. Against the...

Here's Cain and Stevenson going at the goal!

Here's Laflamme taking the puck. He moves up the left wing.

Hey, Andrew.

Hey, stay there, I'll come to you.

Hey, triceratops.

Hey! God dammit!

Highlanders

Highlanders need you.

Highlanders!

Highlanders!

Highlanders!

Highlanders! There's only

Highlanders! Highlanders!

Highlanders! Highlanders!

Highlanders! Highlanders! Alright, boys!

Highlanders! My line starts.

Highlanders. Highlanders.

Highlanders. Highlanders.

Highlanders. Highlanders.

Highlanders. Highlanders.

Highlanders. Highlanders. Stay in school. Highlanders.

His crowd and his team.

His own teammate aside. Now, the captain waits.

Hmm! Hmm hmm! Thanks, Mom.

Hmm.

Hockey fighting competition Bruised and Battered held its most recent event

Hockey Fighting Competition. Proudly banned in 11 states,

How many times do I have to tell ya? Just the left.

Hyrum's gonna be watching. You could show him

I I... I had shit that I liked doing too.

I already ate and I'm already drunk, so the bar seems to make sense.

I always think you're gonna fucking prank me or whatever,

I am a sick man. Anyway, I'm lying on my death bed,

I beat the shit out of Doug Glatt.

I can do this all night, boys. Ross! Ross! Ross!

I can do this. Prostate.

I could never hate you.

I don't know who he is.

I don't. This isn't who I am.

I fucking destroyed him.

I fucking loved it, obviously.

I get to bring a thermos to work,

I got some people I want to thank too. You fucking people!

I had no response to that.

I have to make responsible decisions.

I hope one day I could be the captain of your dreams.

I just don't think that the insurance bug has truly laid

I just... I think that Doug's...

I know it's hard for you.

I know many of you... are veterans,

I love this fucking game.

I love you too, Doug.

I love you, Eva.

I love you.

I loved watching you play,

I mean, Canada probably, but...

I mean, I know you miss it.

I mean, like, pretty much the whole day.

I mean, who said you had to sell insurance?

I mean, you have a fucking baby growing in your belly. I get it!

I messed up, Pat.

I NEED MY FUCKING BUS PASS!

I needed you and you were here.

I never told you that.

I owe ya.

I remember that summer like it was yesterday.

I saw him at the shit show the other night. He looked mean.

I shouldn't have done that because we're a team.

I tell you what, I'm into new shit now. But lately,

I think we should leave.

I told you I'm coming to you. I'm Doug Glatt. I said I was coming to you.

I unstitched it from Cain's jersey.

I used to think I was done.

I wanna... Your contract's been terminated.

I want you all to watch Doug out there tonight.

I want you to rough up a few Reading cunts right now. The boys need some inspiration,

I was meeting all these people who do insurance.

I... I gave up stuff I liked doing too.

I'll always have yours.

I'll munch a box or two. I mean...

I'll munch a box. That's not an animal; I got all kinds of tricks.

I'll support you,

I'll tear your fucking head off for a pure meat stick.

I'm a real person! I got real fucking emotions. I don't eat... Fuck you!

I'm fine. Fucking fine!

I'm giving you the C. Yeah. You're gonna prove me right.

I'm glad you came back, Doug! Come on!

I'm going to an insurance festival. Huh?

I'm here to tell youall of that gets you nothing.

I'm high as fucking balls.

I'm not as fast as I used to be.

I'm Patrick... Hoolahan.

I'm so fucking excited to tell you this.

I'm so happy to be back here and have a chance to...

I'm trying, but you gotta meet me halfway,

I'm with you.

I've been better.

I've got some changes here.

I've never been a captain before.

If I'm being honest, there was a while there where I never thought it was gonna happen,

If it makes you feel any better, I go all kinds of ways.

If not, you go extinct.

In our first ever Battle Royale!

In the ear! Ow! Alright, no.

In the neutral zone. Cain works it up, Laflamme well ahead. No, no, no!

In the second period. Again, they have to win.

In the very first game of the season.

In this game here tonight. Now, he goes to the penalty box.

In what could be just another example of violence

Into his father's lodge accommodations.

Into the Wolfdogs' zone. Now, it's in at the centre ice.

Is entering the fray. He's making a beeline

Is everyone OK in there?

Is focus. They're gonna try and taunt us. Don't look for shit!

Is in danger of coming to an end

Is living well. I'm not stooping to your fucking level.

Is more beautiful than when she's giving birth.

Is proud to bring you tonight's special event.

Is the shit that needs you to be out there.

It got scary.

It was fucking yesterday that I was...

It was fucking yesterday that I was...

It was misdirected, but I saw compete.

It's a fucking a lot and...

It's a new dawn for the Halifax Highlanders.

It's a real thing.

It's crazy, but we're doing it.

It's fucking bullshit. He's a fucking lunatic!

It's making everything red. Go, boys!

It's my favourite dinosaur.

It's not fucking soccer, Dougie.

It's OK.

It's over.

It's so nice.

It's sports at a desk, you lunatics. Look at this motherfucking desk.

It's that simple.

It's the same shit, Doug.

It's up to me.

It's yours now. You've earned it.

Jean Pierre Finch. Yo.

Jesus Christ! Goddammit!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Just big old balls.

Just like that, down goes Davinski.

Just making decisions for ourselves anymore.

Just... it was different

Laflamme makes a move. Dipsy doodle!

Laflamme makes it 1 nothing for the Halifax Highlanders. Alright.

Laflamme pushes back at Cain and Ross Rhea... Keep your hands to yourself!

Laflamme spins. He shoots. He hit the post!

Laflamme trying to go to the outside as the penalties expire.

Laflamme! He was flattened. That angers Glatt.

Lead Newark 1 nothing thanks to a goal by Anders Cain.

Lead these guys.

Left my fucking bus pass in there.

Legs and Gino on the backend.

Let me go. Let me go. I'm the ref, let me go!

Let me tell you about fucking good times.

Let's do this! Come on!

Like a team. Neither of us are

Like fucking flamethrowers!

Like fucking sunflower seeds? Well, this barn's sunflower seeds are fucking winners.

Listen, Dougie, there's something you might wanna know.

Long after he has any reason to. Open that up.

Look at this fucking thing, right? You know, you fucking...

Look up there, Doug.

Look up there, Doug.

Look, I know you sacrificed things.

Made it to us. This lockout means there's gonna be a whole bunch

Make them fuck up.

Make yourself fucking relevant! Because from this point on...

Many are blaming the hot and cold play of Anders Cain,

Many of you are old friends, many of you have never worn another sweater;

Masturbate that penis.

Maybe we bring him back to practice, eh?

Maybe you shouldn't watch the next one.

Mazel tov, kiddo.

Me, right fucking in front of you!

Meaner.

Meet the Highlanders in person tonight at the Corktown Pub

Might as well get "shittered" at my place of work.

Mm hmm. Doug,

Modern era tough guy, able to drop the gloves

Moves in on the back... He scores!

My beer is back.

My team needs me to do. We're just gonna keep fucking bleeding out here...

Never felt that before.

Next Bruised and Battered is gonna be at the Metro Centre.

No butt, just vagina.

No hockey.

No offence, Hyrum, OK?

No one wants to skate anymore. Is that it? Do you want to sit here?

No?

No. Me and... Me and Doug.

Nobody's allergic to eggs. Oh, Christ,

Not exactly playing hockey, is it?

Not now, kiddo. Not now.

Not that you... Oh, OK.

Not to mention, he almost singlehandedly eviscerated us.

Now it's knocked back to the blue line.

Now Laflamme is rammed on the corner. He's run into and decked!

Now Laflamme sees Walters' coming. And Walters sucker punched him.

Now we're talking. Fucking right.

Now with it is Stevenson. Stevenson moves down

Now you're my husband, and...

Now, Laflamme goes after the puck in the corner.

Number 1 on the Hockeyfights.com all time best list.

Of big dicks swinging away down to our league. Play is gonna get faster,

Of some sort of psycho athletic fugue state.

Of the Halifax Highlanders. Bounces off a check.

Of us.

Off your fucking phone, Laflamme! Get off!

Oh boy! Everyone, check your asses for monkeys!

Oh God, it smells so much like piss.

Oh no, I was wrong. They're starting early today.

Oh, excuse me, I didn't... I'm sorry. Sorry. No. Fuck.

Oh, for fuck sake!

Oh, fuck! Ow!

Oh, it... Aw, It was so fun.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my uncles are dead! Anders Cain looks in front, turns.

Oh, that tastes like burps.

Oh, why have we taken the long way? It's not...

Oh!

Oh!

Oh! And he misses completely! Fuck! Shit!

Ohh! Glatt absolutely levels Michael Murphy. Sorry, Mikey.

Ohhhh!

OK, boys. We kind of fucked up the start of this thing, eh?

OK, I'm sorry. I fuck... I fucked up.

OK? OK.

OK? Just... So will you take that for me, would you?

OK? We're gonna play some shutdown hockey.

OK. And Anders Cain.

On a new Jumbotron and right now,

On Fan Appreciation Night.

On my grandmother's grave?

On the ice. Halifax with the heat on.

On the inside.

One more bad hit, and then you're done?

One night, me and my friends, my great friends,

One, two, three,

Ooh! Yeah. I'm good, Ray.

Or I'm gonna find some other fucking guy who will. Fine.

Out of your vagina blows hard.

Over in the neutral zone one more time, and I'll teach you

Part of what made me dig you in the first place.

Pearl fucking necklace. Golden showers,

Penalties the way other teams change lines.

Perhaps the new captain would like to say a few words to his team.

Phone calls to make and receive and...

Players you can build a team around, starting with Anders.

Plus there's a Harvey's close by, which is good.

Produce, you will be rewarded. Don't, you'll be sent packing. Hey!

PSfucking pushing a baby

Puke time, suicides.

Pulls up the right wing. Both running on goal!

Put it right back in your chest.

Re signing with the Wolfdogs.

Remember how I keep saying that work is fun

Remember that one time I thought you had a watch?

Rhea is down, folks. He's bleeding.

Rhea!

Right now? Alright! Alright! Listen up!

Ross Rhea? Nice hit, eh?

Ross! Ross!

Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross! Ross!

Rotate. Alright, now, do that left across.

Season last year80 points.

Season opening loss to Reading, which saw

Seconds left and nothing is settled.

See you out there, bud. Hmm.

See, Doug... I just do

See? He gets it. He fucking gets it!

Sexy, roguish new face of our parent company's effort

She looks like a beautiful, tiny mushroom person.

She'll pass.

Shit show's moving.

Shouldn't have come back, Doug.

Shouldn't have come back...

Since he came back two weeks ago.

Smaller hands. Who wouldn't?

So does Ross Rhea. Fuck you, Cain!

So he can tell me I got post concussion syndrome?

So it's safe. You know, it's really safe.

So now, we got a few lads who are on their wages up for the big show

So we're gonna take that heat into Reading,

So what are you doing with the hockey bag?

So what I mean is

So you evolve,

So...

Something for the baby. Oh! Oh! Heehee!

Sometimes, I put hamburgers in there.

SportsDesk, it's not delivery; it's SportsDesk.

SportsDesk, we'll take as long as it takes.

SportsDesk, we're all pink on the inside. Oh, Jesus Christ.

SportsDesk: we know exactly what the fuck

St. John still with a man advantage. Laflamme getting up,

Starting the other way, the Reading Wolfdogs

Stevenson scores!

Straight to gay town, man.

Sturgeon, man. Jesus Christ! I tell ya, man,

Takes it into the corner He circles.

Teach me to skate better. What the fuck do I know

Team is more than just hockey, you know?

Tell you, man, knowing you and playing with you is like

Ten fighters, one rink, one fight

Than a nun's cunt in there. There's no chatter;

Than Xavier Laflamme with the A,

Thank God Eva wasn't watching when he beat me.

Thank you guys so much.

Thank you. Attaboy, Dougie.

Thanks to that deal I cut with her.

Thanks to the unquenchable thirst of a man

Thanks, kid.

That Anders Cain has been released from his contract.

That comes from such a violent act. The blood

That he eats hot dogs. What the fuck happened?!

That household is a fucking disaster.

That I should never play hockey again. Tabarnak!

That summer,

That was a fucking shit show, eh?

That's not just road hockey; that... that is a thing.

That's official. Here you go, Dougie.

That's the best you can do?

That's what I thought. Alright, we're fucking going.

That's what I'm talking about! Sports!

That's what it takes to win. You guys

That's what we're gonna fucking do. Anybody here

That's when the hand job start.

That's when the handjobs start.

That's you. How does that feel?

That's your career fucked for good.

The baby... Uh, the baby's coming.

The bitch shipped them to Canada and fucking made me

The boys feel like they're on the chopping block.

The champion in so many eyes!

The currently suspended Anders Cain, this should make

The dream alive. They're gonna be throwing

The family we're gonna have, more.

The fuck out of my face.

The Halifax Highlanders are going to the playoffs.

The Highlanders are fighting for their postseason lives

The Highlanders are still here!

The Highlanders keep finding ways to lose too.

The Highlanders seem to have found a way to rescue defeat

The Highlanders win!

The hits are gonna get harder, crowd's gonna get "crowdier."

The puck is gliding across the blue line.

The same shit that brought you here

The shape your shoulder's in, you tweak it,

The Thug can do his part to get them back to the playoffs.

The Thug drop his gloves after all.

The Thug is in trouble, folks!

The W. That said,

The weirdest fucking job ever!

The Wolfdogs are down.

Their entire season hangs on this one last game,

Their first game. It's OK. OK?

Their season with must win games at home against the Lovell Kings

Then captain Doug Glatt hospitalized following

Then go and be a Highlander again.

There was all these monkeys playing around, laughing,

There you go! That's the one I'm looking for.

There's a ceiling on your skating,

There's a restaurant nearby that sells hotdogs.

There's all these documents, you know?

There's your audition, boy.

They better not. Fuck this!

They brought me here to win. My dad brought me here to win.

They brought me here to win. My dad brought me here to win.

They call the Thug.

They did it! The Highlanders win!

They got you matched up with tonight?

They need you too.

They're crazy! There's blood everywhere!

They're normally strangers. Dougie!

They've been in a rut since their disastrous

This Anders Cain.

This could only mean one thing.

This doesn't look good.

This game tied at zero. Now, Laflamme steps out

This guy. Come on, come on! Come on! Aah! Get out of there! Quit! Quit that!

This is

This is a big day. First off, we're gonna welcome back

This is big shit, Doug.

This is bullshit.

This is it!

This lockout is already providing the League. What a great lockout.

This season's everything. The world is watching.

This window to piss on. God, it's like crack to them.

Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug! Thug!

To a guy who says we're a team, but he's always gone,

To be seen. You can't blame them.

To be trying a hail Mary move by bringing back a man

To organize a little something for the two of you? Ohhh,

To Pentecostal summer camp with my cousin's boyfriend.

To rebrand SportsDesk for a new generation.

To replace Anders as the Highlanders round out

To the Halifax Metro Centre in his first game back since

To the penalty box. Come on, Pat!

To the penalty box. FUCK YOU!

To the St. John's Shamrocks.

To watch a lot of hockey 'til it got too exciting for the old ticker.

To... be back here?

Together.

Tonight, we need to play fucking hard! Right, boys?

Trying to bang it by Belchior. Runs into him,

Turns out we "wuz" the jokers.

Two penis, one hole.

Ugh!

Ugh! Ah!

Until they cart

Uppercut.

Used to be a jail. Prisoners killed themselves.

Was it scary?

Watch him do whatever the fuck it takes to get us

Watching you beat the piss out of guys

We are going after the biggest names on this side of the Atlantic,

We both agreed to do this,

We could just eat those instead. Hotdogs? Yeah.

We fucking hate you!

We go in there, get it out of our system, and you go right home, eh?

We made you captain... Because you leave it all out there on the fucking ice.

We needed this, man. You two fucking buffoons are standing there

We power fuck your mother.

We thought he was gone.

We're doing this. It's...

We're doing... James.

We're gonna do this night after night.

We're gonna have a family, and I swear...

We're gonna work some of that rust off right fucking now.

We're on a very busy night in here.

We've got...

Wearing little monkey sailor hats,

Weirdos how we play hockey... I swear!

Welcome to the Highlanders.

Well, that's, like, only half true,

Went for hamburgers downtown.

What about all our adventures?

What about Doug? Doug, Doug?!

What are you doing?

What did you do, man? You had a fucking jackoff selfie

What do you say?

What the fuck? What? Is everyone in the city Chinese?

What they want us to do. I'm doing whatever

What what what what? What? What? Now? Wait, what? What?

What with Ira being the way he is and all.

What would be a career ending tilt with Anders Cain.

What?

What? Yeah, I'll take a fucking candy. I love fucking candy!

What... No.

What's in front? Awaiting there is Glatt,

Whatever my team needs me to do.

When your friends are huge ******* guys named Doug Glatt.

Which keeps my food hot and cold.

Which should be a doozy as it marks Cain's return

Who couldn't be here tonight. She's my teammate and can't be here right now. My wife Eva.

Who ran into and decked Cain. Flamer's loaded for bear.

Who sits 31st in scoring,

Whose side are you on?

Will break your heart and shove it down

With a bang as the Highlanders open the scoring.

With an opportunity for the go ahead goal.

With Glatt on top. What am I looking at?

With the Big League officially shut down thanks to the lockout, all eyes

With two must win games left to play,

With your face.

With your giant dicks. I mean, that's a fucking

Work up. Got a melon.

Worrying about you? You think I wanna

Would see them just one spot outside playoffs' contention.

Xavier Laflamme blocking a shot?

Xavier... you've been

Yeah, kabooya, he scores!

Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe, maybe I never did.

Yeah, that ought to hold. Jesus Christ!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, there's so many documents and...