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Home > Howard the Duck (1986)
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Howard the Duck (1986)

Howard the Duck (1986)

Howard the Duck is a cult classic film from 1986 that combines sci-fi, comedy, and adventure. Directed by Willard Huyck, the movie stars Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, and Jeffrey Jones. The story follows Howard, a sarcastic anthropomorphic duck who is accidentally transported to Earth and finds himself in a series of absurd situations. Although the film was not well-received upon its release, it has gained a dedicated following over the years. You can play and download the sounds of this unique film here.

A house in the suburbs?
A thing... Hansen?
A truck? I knew that.
A world almost exactly like ours...
Across a sea of stars! Look up in the sky!
Alien specimens are arriving in laboratory in three minutes.
All I know is I need that laser machine to get me home.
Alright, get the mechanical. We're gonna release the big wave 0.
Alright!
Alright.
An evil unlike any you can imagine is about to engulf the Earth.
And as duck climbed up the evolutionary ladder...
And B: How I'm gonna get back?
And he can destroy you and the Earth, everything.
And I brought a pizza.
And I decided to educate myself in the real world, on the streets.
And I'm obviously in some sort of terrible nightmare.
And since you are supposed to be the water expert I asked for...
And that's because B, I've already got a theory.
And, Jenning caught the full force of the blast this time.
And, you're no longer their manager!
Antibiotics?
Anyway, Howard, I was talking to some astrolo physicists.
Are we like all in the same discussion here?
Are you all right?
At least I thought it was a little kid.
Be gentle.
Because Cora Mae always places her interviewee.
Because there are papers to be written, there's research to be done...
Because, right now...
Beer? Right, beer, right.
Before I get really mad!
Better watch out, he's a master of quack foo!
Bev, get dressed. Aren't you gonna see me off?
Bev, let's be realistic.
Bev? I'm not a real sentimental guy.
Beverly, listen, I never bad mouthed others...
Big, big, baby.
Big, big, big...
Boy!
Boy...!
But if every hunter could blast 15 of those **** in the sky...
But if that's the way you want it, then so long, ducky!
But is this gonna delay my take off?
But, he would have to leave tonight while the alignment still exists.
But, Howard...
Bye.
Bye...
Can I bite your nose off with my super bill?
Can I give you a hand with that?
Can you bend this?
Can't you take a joke? Geez, you broke my head.
Can't you understand? I'm telling you I saw something!
Carry on, Dr. Chapin.
Carter showed me something here once that might do it, if we can find it!
Ciao for now, Howie.
Cigarette lighter? That's really disgusting!
Come on in.
Come on, Bev, run!
Come on, give us a break! Don't close your eyes.
Come on, Howard, I was just kidding.
Come on, let's watch David Letterman.
Come on, Philsey, move! Let's crank her up!
Come on!
Come on.
Come on.
Coming through!
Countless worlds upon worlds. Worlds without end.
Cro Magnon Duck, who ultimately evolves into Howard.
Cue and ready. Cue and go!
Cut it out, Howard.
Damn!
Dark Overlord, I want you!
Death from the sky to all duck hunters!
Desperate ducks commit desperate acts!
Did you finish cleaning up the specimen lab?
Did you lose something?
Do it!
Do you wish to bring the laser to full power?
Do you wish to bring the laser to full power?
Doc, you're in shock from the explosion.
Don't flutter off in a huff! Beverly, listen...
Don't you think that would be a little conspicuous?
Don't, don't listen to them, Howard. I have got you booked on A.M. Cleveland.
Down here, doll.
Dr. Jenning is in charge of the Astro Physics Lab at Dyna Technics.
Dr. Jenning, I repeat:
Duck kabob!
Ducky, I can't believe this!
Eat claw, duck!
Every duck's got his limit, and you scum have pushed me over the line.
Every school duck knows this stuff!
Excuse me. Getting off. My stop.
Extremely dangerous.
Fire!
Fly, Howard! Find your instincts. Trust your birdness. Fly!
Fooled you, didn't I?
Four minutes to arrival.
Geez, Howard, it sort of sounds like you sold out.
Geez, I thought I lost you.
Geez, you must be K.C.!
Geez! All this smoke, it's murder on the sinuses.
Geez! It looks like an airplane.
Geez... You're all hairless apes? That's really disgusting.
Get a rock or something and break this window.
Get me down from here! I've done enough flying. Philsey!
Get them out of here! Head for the emergency exits!
Get them!
Gimme that code key. That's my ticket home!
Give her the keys to the cuffs, flatfoot!
Go ahead, say something, dummy!
Go!
Go! Go!
God, I can't believe this.
God... Listen, everybody, this is it! I've just seen it!
Goddamnit, Hansen, get in here and get this friggen duck suit off this nut!
Good boy, stay back! Stay back. Oh, boy!
Good night.
Good point.
Goodbye, Duck World. Get outta there. Run!
Gosh!
Got a place to stay tonight?
Goudall the gorillas. I had a duck.
Guess I slipped.
Hands off my feathers! Put me down! Put me down right now!
He begins to develop. Beverly?
He had nothing to do with it. Howard, Howard is just an innocent...
He won't even give us the money he owes us.
He's a duck terrorist! He hijacked the plane!
He's armed. That means he's got a weapon, right?
He's gonna bring down another Dark Overlord.
He's gonna bring down more of his buddies. He's got big plans.
He's my boyfriend!
He's taking her back to that science lab.
Help me! Help! Somebody help me! Please, help me!
Help! Somebody help me, please! Help!
Here. Why not take a shot of New Shorts Blaster?
Here's another one already lift.
Here's couple number three, our lovely Latin dance team...
Hey Phil, don't talk to him like that. He's just as smart as you are.
Hey, another car. No big deal!
Hey, boy!
Hey, buddy, what's the rush?
Hey, come on!
Hey, is he like one of those TV Evangelists or something?
Hey, over here.
Hey, Ricky's back with you again for lots more Dance Frenzy excitement!
Hey, we've got a saying on my planet.
Hey, what about me?
Hey!
Hey! Shorty!
Hey! That costume don't fool me. No kids allowed.
Hey...
Hi, honey, this is your mother. Listen, I know you're very busy...
Hi, sorry I missed the show. I came to watch you undress, though.
Hi, there. How are you? Good to see you.
How about hitting my living room? Talk about an invasion of privacy.
How am I supposed to run a class...
How the hell am I gonna explain a manhunt for a duck?
Howard may be a duck but you people are animals!
Howard, I didn't buy that theory either, so I did some research...
Howard, I got arrested at the plant. I'm gonna have a criminal record.
Howard, I was just kinda wondering...
Howard, Jim here. We still set for racquet ball on Saturday?
Howard, quit holding out. I want you to concentrate...
Howard, that's it. Maybe that's why you're here.
Howard, this door doesn't have any handles...
Howard, you have to get into firing range without him seeing you!
Howard!
Howard!
Howard! Here!
Howard! Howard!
Howard?
Howard?
Howard?
Howard.
Howard...!
However, part way through the experiment, there was a deviation and...
I also got him to agree that it was time for him to step aside as your manager.
I am not Howard anymore.
I am now one of the Dark Overlords of the universe.
I can explain how you got here.
I can't believe this planet! Fried eggs. Yuck!
I can't swim!
I could have been a contender.
I don't know who's more desperate for dates, you or me.
I don't know.
I don't need any more of your sympathy, your charity!
I don't understand anything you're talking about.
I feel much better.
I got a feeling you're gonna take to this job like a duck to water.
I got no intention of being stranded here.
I gotta get back.
I guess you must be the girls' manager. And if you are...
I had a group in high school. Howard and the Heartbreakers.
I have developed a greater appreciation...
I heard something about that on the news.
I hurt! Need energy.
I just can't resist your intense animal magnetism.
I just have one giant question. Where am I?
I just wanna know: A: What I'm doing here?
I know it's a drag...
I know my rights. Where's my baseball cap?
I mean, I've never even had any pets or anything, you know?
I mean, my apartment's zillions of miles from here.
I mean, my apartment's zillions of miles from here.
I need a beer bad. Gotta find a waitress.
I need this like I need another tail!
I no longer need human food.
I quit!
I said out of the way!
I suggest you find a new manager.
I think he needs come coffee. Come on.
I think you're all gonna find this very interesting.
I told you, bird brain, I am not Jenning any more!
I wanna know what they're doing with Howard...
I want the girls' money.
I want you to look into the future and tell me what you see.
I was barking up the wrong tree. I knew that.
I will now bring down the other Dark Overlords.
I wrote that.
I'd like a word with those so called scientists out there!
I'd love to, but we got this damn contract with this sleazoid.
I'll figure out a way to help Howard, I swear.
I'll give you a hint, doll. What's white, ovoid...
I'll quack foo him!
I'm a dead duck.
I'm a lab assistant.
I'm about to meet secretly with my colleague, and he's bringing The Feather.
I'm afraid I'm about to become something else.
I'm crazy and my prices are insane!
I'm dead.
I'm doing fine, thank you very much.
I'm gonna find your ass a job.
I'm gonna get you, you dumb duck!
I'm gonna go talk to the scientists out there.
I'm gonna have to see a psychiatrist...
I'm gonna invite her up to my place tonight for a little career manipulation.
I'm in love.
I'm letting the girls out of their contract, okay?
I'm not talking about your clothes, I'm talking about your face.
I'm probably finished, too.
I'm running out of sticks to throw at people! Sucks!
I'm sorry, we don't allow pets on the premises.
I've been doing too much toot. Shoot! Fly away!
I've got rights, you know? I'm suing.
I've got to think about practical matters: Food, shelter... a job.
I've gotta get back to my own kind.
If I could just get my career back on course...
If we did, we could establish a continuing link between our planets.
If you can't take the heat, get out of that kitchen!
If you could tune back into reality for a second.
In addition, you've won a new car!
In fact, I think I got just the position for you!
In these galaxies every possible reality exits.
Is he alright? Where is he?
Is it still working, Jenning? Jenning!
Is that kind of precise, descriptive techniques they're teaching Rookies nowadays? A thing?
Is that... is that it? That's unbelievable!
Is this like stick shift or automatic?
It feels like something inside me gnawing at my guts!
It is the code key. It will activate the laser spectra scope...
It lies beyond the planets. It is a region of demons...
It must be mating season.
It was just a routine procedure meant to measure...
It won't start!
It's a bird! It's a plane!
It's guaranteed to wipe out feather fungus...
It's Howard, thank you, and I'm taking a break.
It's just that I've never been around a...
It's just that you're so incredibly soft and cuddly.
It's like I'm transforming inside.
It's replicating and superseding all my internal organs!
It's sort of a disaster area.
It's too late. The end of the world is coming...
It's... It's nothing! It's nothing, never mind.
Jenning kidnapped Beverly.
Jenning, slow down! Steer, you big yo yo! Steer!
Jenning! Jenning, don't just sit there! This is serious!
Jenning! They're seasoning me! Wait, you better let me up.
Jimmy, do you like see what I see?
Jock itch again? I've got just the thing.
Just a super jock dance. Charles and Madge!
Just an innocent duck?
Just came by to tell you:
Just one good night kiss, sweet ducky?
Just saw your show!
Kirby, you got a "thing" in here, huh?
Last month I got what they call a "promising job".
Leave him alone! He was just in an industrial accident.
Let go on me!
Let me just pay the check and I'm out of here.
Let me try the door first.
Let the female creature go!
Let's cut him into little pieces and see what color his organs are.
Let's go.
Let's just face it.
Let's move it out! Come on!
Lieutenant, a car crashed out the back gate.
Like taking over Earth. Philsey, we gotta get out of here.
Lily had the dolphins. Cousteau, the whales.
Listen to me, small visitor.
Listen to me, small visitor.
Listen, an evil has landed. The world is in great danger.
Listen, I think we could all use a cup of coffee.
Listen, I'm sorry we fought. You're the only friend I've got here.
Listen, okay. Everybody in here is a witness.
Listen, okay. Everybody in here is a witness.
Listen, would you like something to eat or drink?
Listen... You got someplace to go?
Look out, Darwin! Look out, Einstein! Hello, Nobel Prize!
Look out!
Look what they're doing to Howard!
Look, maybe you are trapped in a world you never made...
Look, they're laughing at you and they've got Mr. Code Key.
Look, why don't you just sit down...
Look, you guys, could you really send him back?
Look!
Look! I warned you! Here he comes!
Lucky for the people eating.
Maybe it's not a man you should be looking for.
Maybe you're here for some greater purpose.
Maybe you're just the kind of bizarro influence we need.
Maybe. But sometimes I still get this feeling...
Me Phil, you Howard. We be friends.
Me Phil, you Howard. We be friends.
Me too. On my shorts?
Milk? I could put it in a bowl.
Mutants. You, too.
My eyes! My eyes!
My God, Larry, what if we brought down something else this time?
My God.
My little airbrushed beauty.
Never heard of a duck that couldn't swim.
Nice place. Do you pay to live here?
No earring in your other ear? I'll just make the hole myself.
No handle...
No one laughs at a master of Quack Foo!
No, I bet you were born from a very hard boiled egg, ducky.
No, I didn't mean that you...
No, it doesn't.
No, no, no, no. I'm asking, what is this place?
No, no, no, wait, wait. I got a better idea! Wait, wait!
No, please, man, no. Man, please! Don't!
No!
No!
No! Beverly!
Not so tight. What are you doing? Falling in love?
Now you do know why you were sent to me?
Now, I want you both to imagine somewhere in the universe...
Now, if there's some kind of monster in here... Howard this is crazy!
Now, is this gonna be easy...
Now, wait a minute. If we could generate...
Now, you and baby face are gonna beat it, right, Mr. Zitz?
Of all the alleys in the world I could have fallen into that night...
Oh God!
Oh Great Duck in Heaven, this is the end of Howard.
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh my God!
Oh no, not again!
Oh no...
Oh no...
Oh well, The lights up there are Ninth Street and the bus stops at the corner of Powell.
Oh well, the planet's called Earth, I think.
Oh yeah, by the way, I forgot.
Oh, after you.
Oh, Fred, I love you so much.
Oh, geez...
Oh, heavy, Howard, very heavy. Maybe you should be our manager.
Oh, my God, he needs help.
Oh, no, no, we have fights in here all the time.
Oh, no! White line, wrong way.
Okay, alright.
Okay, duck, out! You're gone! You're history!
Okay, I know where it is. It's on the right or the left or the...
Okay. Okay, fine. I mean, I just found something...
Okay...
Okay... Give me a beat!
Okey dokey.
On my planet we never say die, we say...
One away!
One million kilowatts...
One minute to arrival.
Only two things touch my feathers, this "Oil of Night Fowl" and him.
Our nuclear reactor is pumping out one million kilowatts of power.
Over here on the double. Okay. I want this guy.
Pardon me, Your Aloneness...
Phil, no duck is an island and if fate sent me here to save Earth...
Phil, no duck is an island and if fate sent me here to save Earth...
Phil!
Phil!
Philsey, Beverly, anybody! Help!
Philsey, get her down from there!
Philsey, help! Philsey, help me!
Philsey, I did a loop the loop. I'm getting good at this! I'm...
Philsey, where we goin'?
Philsey, you saved my life!
Philsey!
Philsey!
Philsey!
Philsey! It's me.
Piece of cake. A: I'm just the guy to help...
Planet? No, no, that's a city.
Plastic surgeon, making big bucks, doing big jobs, tail tucks.
Please insert code key. Authorized personnel only.
Please select your target and enter target coordinates.
Please, initiate spectra scope extension.
Police brutality!
Prepare for a take off.
Pull it up, Howard, were running outta land!
Richard, come with me.
Right.
Rotor is wasted. Basically, we're dying here, Howard.
Run, Howard! He's in a bad mood!
Run!
Run! Run! Run!
See, the band's called Cherry Bomb, and...
Shut it down! Shut it down! What the hell is wrong with you?
Shut up and save me!
Shut up and save me!
Shut up, fool! Get him out of here!
Slice salami!
Slow down!
Slow down.
Slow down. Slow down here.
Smog inspection!
So long, copper!
So long, sucker!
So, I wrote songs at night and did construction work by day.
So, Philsey, you are a scientist or a janitor?
So, what do you do back home? You got a job? You go to school?
So...
Some kid upchucked all over the fern fossils.
Somebody's weekend hobby's gonna get us back to that lab.
Sounds like a brunch of bull puckie to me!
Space rabies!
Stay away from me!
Sure I am. I just hope they let you take a carry on bag.
Talk about a rotten day...
Talk about bad breath!
Target is now locked. Target is now locked.
Tell him I'll meet him at the lab right away. You and Blumburtt can bring Howard.
Tell me if I'm warm on any of these, Phil.
Tell your goons to stay back! I'm warning you!
Thank God you're back.
Thank you, Dr. Jenning.
Thank you! Thank you! We love ya!
Thank you. Hello Dr. Jenning.
Thank you. Laser spectra scope is now targeting the Nexus of Sominus.
Thanks... but once was plenty.
That way. Stay low!
That'll wipe that snarl right off your face, little whatever you is.
That's a perfect weird name for this planet.
That's disgusting.
That's it. No more Mr. Nice Duck!
That's really profound, Howard. Could you find the tool box?
That's the grossest! I'm gonna puke!
The Cosmos.
The Dark Overlords cannot exist on this planet...
The duck got away.
The eggs! Get them out of here!
The explosion must have released it and it's loose!
The laser spectra scope malfunctioned again.
The machine, Howard. You've got to destroy it! Blast it!
The only melt downs around here are the cheese sandwiches in the toaster oven.
The planet's... You don't know the planet?
The transformation is complete. I am now someone else.
Then all you have to do is hit the reverse lever to send me back home. Right?
Then I flashed on reality, right! Bam! Halloween's not till next month.
Theoretically yes. Unfortunately it's never been tested.
There goes Howard! We've gotta help Howard, Phill!
There it is. The neutron disintegrator.
There was a tremendous explosion and then...
There was this big guy and this girl and this little kid.
There's gonna be more violence! I hate violence!
There's more coming down.
There's no buttons. No velcro, sir.
They just spotted the duck and the kid.
They seem like such a hassle. You know, feeding them...
They wonder why I'm asking for an early retirement.
They're probably gonna blame me.
Thing.
This does not hold well.
This duck has come to America with Duck A Roni.
This guy here is doing the talking and this here's the dummy.
This guy's delirious. He's not making any sense.
This is a smog device inspection.
This is it! I'm out of here!
This is not what you think. We're just very good friends.
This is obviously no place for an intelligent, sensitive duck.
This relationship... it defies all the laws of nature.
This way is too depressing.
This will mean the extinction of all existing life forms.
Those experiments were unauthorized.
Tonight the laser beam hit the Nexus of Sominus.
Tonight, the laser beam released me...
Tora, tora, tora!
Touching, isn't he?
Try telling that to your insurance company.
Turn it! Charge!
Turn me into a Dark Overlord. I'll still spit in your wormy face!
Undoubtedly on of Earth's greatest minds here.
Urban jungle! Geez!
Vengeance is mine! Yeah!
Very nicely done.
Wait, that's it. We're about to see...
Watch out!
Watsabe misua!
We can get the cover of Science Digest. We, we...
We can't afford to wait.
We had an appointment. We got here as fast as we could.
We lost control again and there was another explosion.
We love you!
We tested them, and they're both from the same fowl.
We weren't aware that the rest of you, Howard...
We'll go home, ducky.
We're all music lovers, huh? God...
We're not here to make you famous, Blumburtt.
We've been through hell!
We've been working on some new songs, you know.
We've heard so much about you. Of course, we didn't believe it.
Welcome to Dyna Technics. Authorized personnel only.
Well, Bob, it's time to dust off those decoys and practice that squawking...
Well, dude, you've got another think coming!
Well, get down to the Marine Lift Exhibit with a mop.
Well, he and Ronette have sort of got back together.
Well, I wanna know why they're harassing Howard.
Well, it will be. We can put it together in no time.
Well, screw them. I got dibs on the laser first.
Well, then I suggest we get Beverly and get the hell outta here!
Well, we hadn't considered reversing the process.
Well, you better come over tonight...
What a dive.
What am I gonna do with you... ducky?
What are these alarms?
What are you doing here tonight? You got no ID.
What do you mean, okay? It was a joke.
What feather?
What happened?
What is that? A suburb of Cleveland?
What is this?
What is, what was and what will be start here with the words...
What?
What's he doing here?
What's wrong with me? There's the back gate.
When Bodacious Beverly stops holding on to me.
When the beam hit, you must have been caught up in a massive...
Where's the SPCA when you need them?
Who did they interview this month?
Whoa... These Washington guys take a real beating on these junkets.
Whoops...
Why are we stopping?
Why did it have to be yours?
Why don't we just have three specials and three beers?
Why? Listen, if you got blasted millions of miles through space...
Will you watch the road, damn it?
Wow. That sounds great. You know, I write songs too.
Yeah, I know why you want a tool box. You got a screw loose.
Yeah, Jenning!
Yeah, my parents wanted me to be a doctor.
Yeah, same to you!
Yeah, well, I didn't buy it at first either.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. But, I do keep wondering...
Yeah. We brought Howard down the first time, but what if...
Yeah...
Yes, now on that night we were initiating our first...
Yes, now on that night we were initiating our first...
Yes. Soon the Dark Overlords will engulf the Earth.
Yikes!
Yikes!
You are about to make history a second time, my little friend.
You are about to witness the end of the old world...
You don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you Mister...
You don't make me proud to be a human!
You filthy scum bucket!
You gotta go in there and beat them up.
You heard him! Cut me loose!
You jackass, he's a ventriloquist.
You know, different strokes and all that?
You know, honestly, congressman...
You know, hostility is like psychic boomerang.
You know, Howard, we could hold out for a PBS special.
You know, this is beginning to seriously undermine my self esteem.
You little creep! Get away from my cart, you filthy degenerate!
You little pond hopper.
You may fire when ready.
You mean I'm finally gonna breeze this fly trap?
You mean the reflex mode might provoke a total reversal?
You might not wanna hear what I'll say, Bozo!
You ordered the specials, what's wrong?
You perverts!
You said to follow my instincts. This is my nesting instinct.
You see what I mean? I'm a freak. An outcast.
You take the money! Take it! It's yours! Take it!
You take the money! Take it! It's yours! Take it!
You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, ducky?
You think that by looking controversial...
You were obviously right.
You, creep, get out of here!
You, Howard.
You'll never get away with this!
You're three feet taller that I am.
You've been sent to me because I'm famous for finding jobs...
You've got a foot, don't you? So step on it.
Your career? What about my life?
Your dad's sort of in his own space. What do you think he'd like to eat?
Your kid's costume is really radical. I'll bet he's crazy about...
... a strong enough hyper charge... You can't do that.
... and always reminds me of my birthday? I don't know.
... and Jenning just... just disappeared. Excuse me.
... and must've remained frozen in ice. Go away!
... and read my mind. Right. You're thinking:
... and send me back home. Listen, Howard...
... became really embarrassing... Can it stop Jenning?
... every day for the rest of my life. Relax, we're almost there.
... freaking out all over the place. What about me?
... full scale test of the Laser Spectra scope. This was shot during the experiment.
... in even the most active crotches. Shorts Blaster.
... it'll be the answer to all your problems. Matches? No, you don't!
... or is this gonna be trouble? Hey Ritchie...
... power! Yes, sir.
... primitive Somoans. Leave me alone!
... since you fell into it, ducky. Yeah, well, I'm glad somebody's happy.
... so that it hit your planet instead. Hit my planet?
... thing? No, duck!
... unless they grow inside a human body. God, no!
... was not a monkey but a duck! Some theory...
... we say kill! Now, wait a minute.
... you're a dead man, Ginger! What are you talking about?
A talking duck? Yeah. That's it.
Alright, get him! Hey, hey, let me go! You big oafs!
Alright, now it's my turn! Hey, come on, duck! Take your best shot!
And a big lock. Rats!
And I need... Shut off the engine! It is off! Somebody's pushing!
And you're imagining things. Watch where you're going, damn it!
And? And...?
And? And...?
Any questions? Yeah. Where are my pants?
Are they after you? Does "shoot to kill" sound serious?
Are you okay, Howard? Yes.
Are you okay? Ah, it's just my pride.
Are you okay? Yeah, sure. Terrific.
Bring me the code key, Howard. Right! The code key!
Bug off! Lord, what is that?
But that's not all. Nice...
But you haven't even tasted it yet. What do you think?
Butt Out, four eyes. Yeah.
Call the police! Not the police!
Christ, it touched me! What the hell is it?
Cleveland? Cleveland? Uh huh...
Come back here, you hairless ape! You'll have time to thank me later!
Come here. Get over here, Doc.
Come on, Kid. Wait a minute, that's my date!
Come on, let's hear for them, folks. What's the matter, George?
Come on, push forward on the throttle! Okay, yeah.
Come on! Ten seconds and counting to arrival.
Come on! What the hell are you doing?
Come on. Howard! Here we go!
Coming! Coming! Howard, why are you so pissed off?
Dark Overlord of the universe? That must be quite a responsibility.
Do you wish to active the laser? Yes.
Don't shed any tears over me, toots! You can wallow in your own self pity!
Dr. Jenning? Howard, it's not...
Enough of this crap! You, out of here!
Excuse me, are you in charge here? Yeah. Why?
Excuse me? I said, "beat it".
Excuse me. Can I help with that? No!
Fire... Oh, geez, that's all I need.
Forget it. No more jobs here. I think you'd be a great manager.
Freeze! I can't believe that you're just sitting here.
Get out of here, geek! We're gonna be famous.
Get out of the way! It's still hot!
Get out of the way. Hey, look the talking duck.
Get to it. Right.
Going somewhere? Yeah, without you!
Good shot! Good shot! Another hungry customer!
Good, there's no cops. I don't have a gate key.
Great, thanks. Beverly, we love your music.
Guess. I was worried about you.
Guys? He stuck his tongue in a cigarette lighter!
Guys? What?
Hate to eat and run. Hello there.
He must have ate the chili. Release the small water fowl!
He started the activation sequence. He's gonna bring down more of them.
He's my favorite duck. You hardly know him.
He's starting the spectra scope. Geez...
Headed towards Highway 5. Alright, get out an all points.
Here she comes. Wow!
Hey, honey! You! Yeah, I'm coming.
Hey! Sorry.
Hi. Hi, Beverly.
Hitchhike? Cab? What is that?
How we getting out of here? Come on.
How, is another matter. Yeah, right. We gotta get some help.
Howard, Howard, Howard, Howard! Thank you!
Howard, Howard... What?
Howard, this isn't working. Tell me about it.
Howard, where you going? To this lab of theirs.
Howard! Jenning!
Howard! You're alright?
Howard... It's alright, toots.
Hurry up! The neutron disintegrator...
Hurry! Where's that button?
I am not amused! I'm gonna barbecue your bill, bird.
I can't swim! Whoops, kid, guess I slipped.
I could use some help here, buddy! Come on, let's get out of here!
I don't need anybody! Yeah, right.
I don't think it's feasible. Me, either.
I got it at a swap meet. Cute.
I had a little talk with your manager Ginger? You talked to that slime?
I hope you're getting all this. Howard, what I'm getting is...
I missed you. Well, sex appeal...
I see myself walking out that door! Yeah, me too.
I wanna see your license, Jack! I have no license, I am not Jack.
I wasn't trying anything! Honest! Step on him!
I went to med school for a while. You went to med school?
I'll get the car. Alright.
I'll put you in a bowl. What?
I'm bailing out! No, you're not!
I'm gonna miss you a lot, ducky. Bev...
I'm gonna suggest it to the girls. I've given up trying to assimilate.
I'm into cannibalism or something? Hey.
I'm stranded here, ship wrecked! Look at this wonderful exhibit.
Is Beverly in? Wow!
It hurts like hell... He's dead.
It just might be possible. It won't work.
It's a duck hunt. Hansen, please, don't start. Please?
It's coming! It's coming! I was just resting.
It's fate. No, it's not!
It's Howard, thank you. Right, Howard.
It's not what? The evil's not inside me any more.
It's so life like and realistic. Bug off.
It's south southwest, Howard! What?
Jenning! It's inside my body.
Just bring the beer! Howard? Howard!
Just don't show him to anybody else! Yeah, they look hungry.
Larry, where's Dr. Jenning? Carter, come here. Let me show you this.
Let her rip! Bombs away!
Lieutenant, what's the charge, sir? Illegal alien.
Lieutenant? Lieutenant, there's no zipper.
Lieutenant? What?
Like I'm doing this on purpose? Give me the code key!
Little tune I never finished. You play pretty good.
Look at his hand! It's nothing. Look at his face!
Make myself at home? I wish. Listen.
Mallard in the side pocket. Adios, quack man.
Maybe we all should get out of here. You got a car, doc?
Meet Howard. Wow! Hi, oh, Howie.
More cops. Come on, hurry! What?
Move the table out of the way! I can't, it's stuck!
Move, we're going! You will get the check?
My feathers? Howard, Howard, don't go beserk!
My powers are growing. Watch out!
No, it's a duck! Phil, you gotta help us!
No, no, no, wait! You can't leave. Yeah, why not?
Not that one! Philsey, what's going on?
Nothing human will remain here. Nothing duck's remaining here either!
Now I'm really depressed. Highly intelligent, perhaps even...
Now who? Look, tell him to go away.
Now, on the night of September 18th. That's the night Howard landed.
Now's our chance. Yeah, come on. This way.
Obviously, why? No reason, just wondered.
Oh, a cigar! Alright, that's how it starts.
Oh, boy! Howard?
Oh, geez! Chicken fry!
Oh, goody. Phil's a scientist. He can help.
Oh, great, like a sex change or something. Something's growing inside me.
Oh, nuts, I dropped my cigar. What?
Okay, why not? And make yourself at home.
One, two... Wait a minute! Jenning!
Over here! Ten, nine, eight...
Phil? I'm sorry. The door was open.
Phil? No sex now, I'm working.
Radical. In the lab that night...
Real charming. Just go away, okay? We're talking to you, big rock star!
Release that rope there! Gotcha!
Ritchie, is that a real disease? I don't know, Ging.
Ritchie? Would you... What is that? Oh, look, Ginger...
Rock? Window.
Shopping malls? No, tribes.
Shot? Reaction of the local hunters...
Show, show him the evidence. What evidence?
Shut up! Bastards!
So take a hike, Cowboy! You...
Some cosmic cause. Are you nuts?
Some guys got it... and some guys don't. Howard...
Something's happened. What's happened?
Stay back, Ritchie! I bite your face...
Stuff him! Any last words?
Terrific, Howard. It still won't start!
Thanks. You're not really a...
That also means he's dangerous. Moi?
That's terrific! Just perfect. Yep, I'm out of here.
The chair started shaking. It was just a big truck going by.
The code key! It's not nice to fool with the Dark Overlord.
The duck's a lunatic! What?
The money! Sure. Sure, here!
The others? Now he's got a whole gang.
There's no guard. We should go back then, huh?
They're about to take off. What do you mean, "take off"?
They're gonna cook me! Take that!
This is humiliating. I just don't want people...
Those guys are a bunch of fools. Obviously the wrong crowd.
Three two, thank you. You heard me.
Try the seat belt, Howard. Seat belt?
Two minutes to arrival. Belt, butt, trigger!
Typical hairless ape. Howard, look, come on.
Waste it, man, waste it! No!
Watch out! Jump, Howard!
We gotta get Beverly outta there. Hey, take it easy, Conan.
We gotta get Beverly outta there. Hey, take it easy, Conan.
Well, these guys concluded... No!
Wet stuff ahead! Watch out!
What are we gonna do? Nice ducky.
What are you talking... If it matches...
What are you, crazy? Howard...
What do you mean, "lost control"? Some unknown force...
What for? I got your money from him.
What for? To hop back on board that laser thing.
What happened? I dropped out.
What kind of... Listen, it doesn't matter.
What theory? Well, this is, of course...
What took you so long? Nothing. Just got arrested...
What? ... shall we say, super powers?
What? Drive.
What? Why? He's some kind of monster.
What's a pizza? It's a circular Italian food object.
What's that? I just can't seem to find the right man.
What's this do? No, Howard, that's the accelerator!
What's this? It's a purse.
What's this? Rock 'n' Roll!
What's this? The key to your duck mobile? Gimme that or you're gonna be sorry.
Where? Behind the warehouse next door.
Who the hell are they? This is my friend Carter...
Yeah, I'll bet. When? When?
Yeah, stuffed you'd make a great exhibit. Howard! Howard, wait!
Yeah? Doing what? Advertising copywriter.
Yeah. Sir.
Yeah. I think he's for real. If your goons are finished!
Yeah... Or something.
Yeah... Wait a minute. Oh, I gotta make a call.
Yes, big deal! Big... What?
You deal with this. Wait a second, you can't...
You did it! Hey! Get me down from here!
You don't wanna get my friend angry! Oh yeah? Why?
You know, I got a feeling my life's really gonna change...
You'll never get home. Thirty seconds to arrival.
...a duck?
...and for our lucky field reporter, Steve Cannelli.
...and his darling wife, Madge, is a blackjack dealer.
...and it's agonizing death in 15 seconds. Bite, bite, bite!
...and living happy on the public dough.
...and the birth of the new.
...and this is Dr. Walter Jenning. And I told them all about you, Howard.
...and were given an I.Q. test by a janitor, you'd be pissed off too!
...and Whamo! They are talking.
...back to the power source here on earth.
...because duck hunting season has officially opened.
...but I got problems of my own. My whole career is falling apart.
...but I hope you're happier there.
...but I think you better take a look at this other... this other thing first.
...but we seem to have a plugged up airjet in number five.
...but you saved it, didn't you?
...but you're gonna have to order some food if you wanna sit here, so...
...can you burn a hole through this with some kind of eye laser?
...does everybody in your planet look like you?
...ended up on another planet...
...energy inversion, which literally dragged you through space...
...except that the progenitor of the dominant species...
...for little slackers like you. That's right.
...for the female version of the human anatomy.
...from that region of demons and pulled me down into that lab.
...from Wedford Falls. Charles is a Machinist First Class in the Navy...
...had landed in that alley just two miles away.
...has been enthusiastic.
...he said adios to his wings. His mental capacity increases.
...how about the specials on the menu?
...Howard the Duck!"
...I don't belong here. You know I've gotta go.
...I don't like the way you're talking about Beverly.
...I have disguised my true form...
...I must have blacked out. Then suddenly I find myself out here.
...I warned you when you got into rock management...
...I've got some important matters to clean up here, but I'll call you tonight.
...in the scientific fraternity, but you bring in an alien in a bag to most guys...
...or the guys back home are never gonna believe me.
...seven, six, five, four...
...shot at, handcuffed... I got thrown out of an airplane!
...tell it to go away. I'm not up all my barnyard languages.
...that there are no accidents in the universe.
...that this man is very, very sick.
...that you arrived here in a space craft millions of years ago...
...the density of the gases that surround the Alpha Centauri.
...the evolutionary ladder showing how man progressed...
...then Howard the Duck is ready to fight!
...there's some kind of special destiny waiting for me.
...they're not gonna be able to find work!
...this three mile island China syndrome meltdown stuff, that's all history.
...to which we Dark Overlords were exiled eons ago.
...was re directing the laser beam from its original target...
...we lost control of the laser spectra scope.
...we saw a single feather fall.
...we've been playing these grungy mong holes waiting for our big break.
...when I use it tonight to bring down the other Dark Overlords.
...which would be considered hideous and revolting here.
...with the new job but please try and call us.
...you are going to fix it!
...you'd be dealing with entertainment types.
"Grow up, Howard". I guess I finally did.
"They know I'm a phony. They know I'm a yo yo."
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