Mean Girls (2004) Edit

A condom?

A hundred and twenty calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is that?

A lot.

A piece for Gretchen Wieners, a partial Spring Fling Queen.

A piece for Janis Ian.

A stressful, surreal blur.

Aaron had dumped Regina, and she was unknowingly

Aaron Samuels was going to be in my touse at my party.

Aaron, wait! Just...

Aaron!

About the things that were bothering us.

About you, you'd want me to tell you, right?

Above the auditorium!

After 87 minutes of very competitive play, we have a tie.

After Christmas break, we tried every Thursday

All he cares about is school and his mom and his friends.

All I had to do was wait for one we could use.

All junior girls report to the gymnasium immediately! Immediately!

All of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird,

All right, chlamydia. K L A...

All right, do we have all of our nominees

All right, let's talk about your homework.

All right, let's talk about your homework.

All right, settle down.

All the drama from last year just wasn't important anymore.

All this cranberry juice is making me break out.

All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

All you sucker MCs Ain't got nothing on me

Although...

An "ex wife".

And a new queen bee to serve.

And a piece for Regina George.

And all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.

And beg for candy.

And Cady Heron.

And Dawn agrees with me.

And Emma Gerber, I mean, that hairdo must have taken hours,

And entering "Girl World".

And everybody just knew stuff about you.

And evil takes a human form in Regina George.

And evil takes a human form in Regina George.

And finally, please welcome to the stage

And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows:

And finally, the nominees for Spring Fling Queen are as follows:

And from North Shore, Miss Cady Heron.

And from young ladies.

And Girl World had a lot of rules.

And Gretchen found herself a new clique

And he told her she was pretty.

And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life.

And I don't think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel,

And I had to pretend like I didn't even like them,

And I never told anybody that, because...

And I want my pink shirt back!

And I was in no position to pass up friends.

And I would love to have a girl on the team,

And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

And I'll see you guys tomorrow.

And I'm sorry for repeating it now.

And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace...

And in Girl World, all the figthing had to be sneaky.

And it seemed like every clique had its own problems.

And it was so sad.

And it wasn't going away.

And me?

And no other girls can say anything about it.

And now I guess she's on crack.

And now I'm gonna push you

And now your body's just running on water.

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt achion rifle

And people who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.

And realized they were just talking about you?

And right now you're getting on my last nerve. Switch.

And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier.

And she made this T shirt that says "I heart Aaron"

And since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee,

And so did Sun Jin Dinh.

And some for everybody else.

And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop, because some of us

And talk to him.

And that I wasn't allowed to wear them anymore.

And that little one? That's Gretchen Wieners.

And that's how Regina George died.

And that's not Regina's fault.

And that's when I realized, making fun of Caroline Krafft

And the crazy thing is is that it should be Karen,

And the final nominee...

And the homosexuals.

And the other 20 percent of the time,

And the other half only like me

And then convinced him to break up with her.

And then everybody would see what an ax wound she really is.

And then just sit around and soak up each other's awesomeness?

And then scam on some poor, innocent girl right in front of us three days later.

And then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her.

And then she would come to my house after

And then we wrote comments.

And then you cross multiply and get the value of X.

And then you have to tell me all the horrible things that Regina says.

And then you have your first cousins,

And then... Oh, yeah, Cady... You know my friend Cady.

And there's a 30 percent chance that it's already raining.

And they have this Burn Book where they write mean things

And think about him.

And this time when Aaron saw me,

And this time, I want you to raise your hand if you have ever

And three times the smaller is 71. What are...?

And we can get twice as much funding if we've got a girl.

And we gave her these candy bar things

And we turned her best friends against her.

And we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said.

And we'd all eat it and be happy.

And when did it become OK for one person

And when I think about how many people wanted this

And when nobody votes for her, she's gonna have a total meltdown.

And whomsoever is elected Spring Fling King and Queen

And with Regina's blessing, I started talking to Aaron more and more.

And you are... a zombie bride.

And you better be one of them, byotch.

And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week.

And you can't sit with us.

And you know she cheats on Aaron?

And you know why?

And you look really pretty.

And...

Anything else?

Anyway, I gotta go. I'm going to bed.

Anyway...

Anyways, now I'm failing. Isn't that funny?

Are just victims in this situation.

Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?

As am I.

Asian nerds,

At a store called 1 3 5.

At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.

At your age, you're gonna be having a lot of urges.

Automatically becomes head of the Student Activities Committee.

Awesome. You went with the leather sleeves.

Baseball team?

Because I didn't join those stupid Mathletes!

Because I know you're smarter than this.

Because I told my friend Janis I'd go to her art show.

Because I use super jumbo tampons.

Because I'm a pusher. I push people.

Because I'm not messing around here.

Because I'm the only person that knows about her nose job.

Because it's the same in every country.

Because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.

Because Regina wanted me to give you this.

Because she told me.

Because she's a life ruiner.

Because she's running for Spring Fling Queen.

Because that's not what Rome is about!

Because the next time you see her She'll be like

Because they think I pushed somebody in front of a bus.

Because we start in a couple weeks

Because we'd like to get jackets.

Because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch!

Because you got everybody there.

Because you were her property...

Before she could actually buy it.

Boo. You whore.

Brutus is just as cute as Caesar.

Burnouts,

But as my own personal form of punishment,

But being Plastic, she needed our advice

But don't think that I'm not taking this book seriously.

But forget what you heard I'm like James Bond the Third

But he was just interested in getting her back.

But I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide set vagina.

But I can't help it that I'm popular.

But I couldn't stop. It just kept coming up like word vomit.

But I wanted things to move faster.

But I'm always on your left.

But I'm grounded.

But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia. And die.

But let me just tell you something about Aaron:

But once the water's gone, then you'll be all muscle.

But overall, the plan was going pretty well.

But people forget about her because she's such a slut.

But really, she's hooking up with Shane Oman in the projection room

But she saved this Kleenex you used

But she's my friend, and I made her a promise.

But that's just a rumor. Some people swear they saw me

But that's only because I was acting like a bitch.

But the whole dance will be backwards.

But then my mom got offered tenure at Northwestern University.

But this one hit me like a big, yellow school bus.

But this was Girl World.

But we don't have anything planned for tonight.

But why would she send you a candy cane?

But you all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores.

But you don't have to dumb yourself down to get guys to like you.

But you're, like, really pretty.

But, you know, this usually happens when the kid is 5.

By eigtht period, I was so happy to get to math class.

By the watering hole. when the animals are in heat.

Bye, Jason.

Cady Heron.

Cady, all I've been eating are these K‰lteen bars. They suck.

Cady, do you even know who sings this?

Cady, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know,

Cady, I know that having a boyfriend

Cady, she's not pretty.

Cady, there are two kinds of evil people.

Cady, this is your night. Don't let the haters

Cady, will you please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back.

Cady, you don't have to punish yourself forever.

Cady.

Cady.

Cady's blushing. Oh, my God.

Called The Spring Fling.

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier.

Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter.

Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school?

Can someone zip me up?

Can you answer a few questions?

Can you do it?

Can't. I'm doing major Plastic sabotage tonight.

Captain of the North Shore Mathletes.

Coach Carr has fled school property.

Coach Carr makes us eat those when we wanna move up a weight class.

Coach Carr, step away from the underage girls.

Coach Carr?

Coach Carr.

Come on, Cady.

Come on, she's never gonna find out. It'll be like our little secret.

Congratulations on winning State.

Contestant Krafft.

Cool Asians,

Could you give us some privacy for, like, one second?

Curfew, 1 a.m. It is now 1:10.

Damian sat next to her in English last year.

Damian, you put me in there too? That's not part of the plan.

Damian, you've truly out gayed yourself.

Damn, Africa, what happened?

Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you.

Damn.

Dancing and prancing In Jingle Bell Square

Desperate wannabes,

Did he say why?

Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music,

Did you just say "thang"?

Did you tell Mr. Duvall who else did it?

Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or Ecstasy tablets?

Didn't anybody tell you?

Do not hang out with her.

Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!

Do we have a Cady Heron here?

Do you even go to this school?

Do you guys know where Room G 14 is?

Do you guys need anything? Some snacks?

Do you have anything else you wanna say?

Do you think Regina would mind?

Do you think that's enough?

Do you wanna have sex with him?

Do you want a bit? If you're gonna drink, I'd rather you do it in the house.

Does it bother you that they still use your original choreography?

Does that mean I'm morally obligated to burn that lady's outfit?

Doesn't she look great, honey?

Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus,

Don't forget to vote for Spring Fling King and Queen, people.

Don't have sex in the missionary position,

Don't have sex in the missionary position,

Don't have sex standing up.

Don't have sex. Because you will get pregnant and die.

Don't invite Gretchen. She's driving me nuts.

Don't worry. I'll never tell Regina what you said.

Down at P. J. Calamity's.

Dude, put on "The Ramayana Monkey Chant".

Each team is given the opportunity to choose their opponent.

Eating 5,000 calories a day.

Equals the difference between...

Every day for the rest of the week.

Every day is so wonderful

Every year, the seniors throw this dance for the underclassmen

Everybody in the English speaking world knows that song.

Everything had to be perfect.

Excellent. Great turnout this year.

Except for the fact that both my parents are research zoologists

Explain how you forgot to invite us to your party?

Express your anger in a healthy way.

Failing?

Fat whore.

Finally, Girl World was at peace.

Find an odd three digit number whose digits add up to 12.

First you bloat, and then you drop 10 pounds like that:

For extra credit, please let me know.

For king and queen on the stage?

Forty eight into 120?

Four for you, Glenn Cocco. You go, Glenn Cocco.

From Marymount, Miss Caroline Krafft.

From my grades to my lines You can't touch Kevin G

Future co chair of the Student Activities Board

Get in, loser. We're going shopping.

Get out.

Girls who don't eat anything,

Give me it.

Glenn Cocco?

Go.

God, Karen, you are so stupid!

God! I am so sorry, Regina.

God! See, at least me and Regina George know we're mean.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Good Lord.

Good. OK, who's next?

Great, great. Let me give you my card.

Great. All my friends hate me, and now my mom hates me.

Great. Here's where it is.

Gretchen and Karen followed me around all afternoon.

Gretchen thinks you're mad at her

Gretchen told me that you like Aaron Samuels.

Gretchen Wieners had cracked.

Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business.

Gretchen Wieners.

Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen.

Gretchen, switch sides with Cady.

Grool.

Grounded.

Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs.

Guys, why did we think we could do this? We're amateurs.

Happy holidays, everybody.

Have ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?

Have you ever had it happen 60 times in a row?

Have you seen Jason?

Having lunch with The Plastics was like leaving the actual world

He broke up with Regina and guess what.

He farts a lot.

He said some guy on the baseball team.

He's just using her to make you mad.

He's such a little skeez. Give me your phone.

He's your cousin.

Hell, no! I did not leave the Southside for this!

Hello, sweetheart.

Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.

Her name is Cady. Cady Heron.

Her outfit looked like it was picked out by a blind Sunday school teacher.

Here we go. The winner of the Spring Fling King,

Here. This map is gonna be your guide to North Shore.

Here. You can have this. It won a prize.

Hey, Africa. You staying for the Mathletes meeting?

Hey, baby.

Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore.

Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.

Hey, do you have a pencil I can borrow?

Hey, everybody.

Hey, guys, what's up? I didn't know you worked here.

Hey, guys.

Hey, I called you last night. How come you didn't call me back?

Hey, I pulled these two off each other.

Hey, I'm having an art show.

Hey, I'm totally lost. Can you help me?

Hey, Mrs. George. This is Cady.

Hey, put on 98.8.

Hey, you guys. Happy hour is from 4 to 6!

Hey!

Hey! Hey! Settle down! All right, hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. How was your first day?

Hey. How was your second day?

Hey. I'm having a small get together at my house tomorrow night.

Hey. We're doing a lunchtime survey of new students.

Hi.

Hi. This is Karen Smith. It's 68 degrees,

Hon, slow down.

How bad's it gonna be tomorrow?

How could Janis hate Regina?

How do I even begin to explain Regina George?

How do you like me now?

How do you spell your name again, Cady?

How much trouble did you get in for telling the truth?

I am beautiful in every single way

I am?

I can do it.

I can put my whole fist in my mouth.

I can try and get out of it.

I can't believe you think I like attention!

I can't believe you think I like attention!

I can't go out.

I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all carb diet.

I can't spy on her anymore. It's weird.

I could tear my heartbeat in my ears.

I couldn't apologize to Ms. Norbury

I couldn't help myself. It was so easy.

I didn't put you in there.

I don't care how long it takes, I will keep you here all night.

I don't get this. Do you get any of this?

I don't know if anyone told you about me.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

I don't know, I mean, she's so weird.

I don't know, maybe we mainstream schooled you too soon.

I don't know.

I don't know. Now that's she's getting fatter,

I don't play it like Staggy You'll know it was me

I don't think so.

I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but I only date women of color.

I feel that.

I figured out how you're gonna earn that extra credit.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I found it in the girls' bathroom. It's so mean, Mr. Duvall.

I gave him everything. I was half a virgin when I met him.

I got in trouble for the most random things.

I got parents calling me on the phone asking, "Did someone get shot?"

I guess I'll never know what I missed on that first day of health class.

I guess it's natural for parents to cry on their kid's first day of school.

I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you.

I had a lot of friends in Africa.

I had gone from home schooled jungle freak to shiny Plastic

I had never lived in a world where adults didn't trust me,

I had survived my first three way calling attack.

I had survived my first three way calling attack.

I had this lump in my throat like after you dry swallow a big pill.

I hate her! I mean, she's totally failing me on purpose

I hate this song.

I hated Regina. I hated her!

I have a fifth sense.

I have a nephew named Anfernee,

I have really bad breath in the morning.

I have this theory that if you cut all her hair off, she'd look like a British man.

I have to admit, I was mildly horrified

I have to go to Regina's to practise for the talent show.

I have to pee.

I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.

I hear Regina George is dating Aaron Samuels again.

I hear she does car commercials. In Japan.

I hope that nobody else ever does see it.

I invited her tonight.

I just think that it would be, like, a fun little experiment

I just wanted a reason to talk to you.

I just wanted a reason to talk to you.

I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school.

I knew exactly what Ms. Norbury was talking about.

I knew how this would be settled in the animal world.

I know it may look like I'd become a bitch,

I know it's wrong to skip class, but Janis said we were friends.

I know this song!

I know what you're thinking. "Home schooled kids are freaks."

I know, Aaron. But after the allegations against Coach Carr

I know, I know.

I know, right?

I know, right?

I know, right?

I love that shirt on you.

I love your work!

I mean, A sub N equals N plus one over four.

I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party.

I mean, I don't care, do whatever you want.

I mean, I know he was sad, but how much time did he need?

I mean, I think everybody looks like royalty tonight.

I mean, I'm good at math. I understand math.

I mean, is something bothering her?

I mean, it's just plastic. Could really just...

I mean, no offense,

I mean, not just you. Like, any of us.

I mean, right? She was a lesbian.

I mean, that sounds bad, but whatever.

I mean, that's just, like, the rules of feminism.

I mean, why would Regina send you guys candy canes and not me?

I mean, yes, I've seen it before, but it's not mine.

I mean, you're gorgeous.

I meant to say "cool" and then I started to say "great".

I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.

I ought to cancel your Spring Fling.

I pretended to be bad at math so that you'd help me.

I pushed myself into working three jobs.

I really wanna lose 3 pounds.

I saw Cady Heron wearing Army pants and flip flops,

I spent about 80 percent of my time talking about Regina.

I started with Regina,

I still wanted her to like me.

I think I'm joining the Mathletes.

I think so.

I think that's in the back building.

I think they're all pretty pleased with themselves.

I thought I was gonna hurl.

I thought she dumped him for Shane Oman.

I told you, I saw the whole thing.

I used to think there was just fat and skinny.

I want my pink shirt back!

I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl

I was a woman possessed.

I was definitely sending her one.

I was gonna use three candy canes to crack Gretchen Wieners.

I was like, "Janis, I can't invite you, because I think you're a lesbian."

I was praying for someone else to bring her up

I was so nervous. They made us do limits.

I was still allowed to look at him.

I wasted too much time being pissed off at Regina.

I will keep you here until 4.

I wish that I could bake a cake made out of rainbows and smiles,

I would be sitting over there with the art freaks.

I would never lie to you.

I would say, yeah, I care.

I wouldn't be caught in some ridiculous costume.

I wrote it.

I, like, invented her, you know what I mean?

I'd never seen anybody so glamorous.

I'll be careful.

I'll be the wart hog.

I'll tutor you, if you ever wanna get together after school or something.

I'm 16 and until today, I was home schooled.

I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?

I'm a Mathlete So nerd is inferred

I'm a new student here. My name is Cady Heron.

I'm actually really good at math. You're kind of bad at math.

I'm almost done, I swear.

I'm always on your left.

I'm divorced. I'm broke from getting divorced.

I'm gonna make you girls a "hump day" treat.

I'm gonna vote for Regina George because she got hit by that bus.

I'm just being friendly.

I'm kind of psychic.

I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.

I'm OK. Sorry.

I'm OK. Sorry.

I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent calories from fat.

I'm pitching tomorrow.

I'm really disappointed in you, Cady.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sick.

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I can explain.

I've been looking for you everywhere.

I've been really busy with choir.

I've ever met.

I've only had one other crush in my life.

If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would always be on the cover.

If that's what you mean.

If the limit never approaches anything...

If you were to hang out with them and then tell us everything that they say.

In case you're wondering, The Plastics broke up.

In Girl World, Halloween is the one nigth a year

In January, Regina had put a Spring Fling dress on hold

In the event of a tie, we move into a sudden death round.

In the fr...

In the name of all that is holy, will you look at Karen Smith's gym clothes?

In the regular world, Halloween is when children dress up in costumes

In this Burn Book.

Is an attitude makeover.

Is an attitude makeover.

Is butter a carb?

Is everything all right in here?

Is that all the work is right and just the answers are wrong.

Is that the summation?

Is there alcohol in this?

Is this true?

It burns carbs. It just burns up all your carbs.

It didn't work out.

It explains it all on the label.

It just makes it OK for guys to call you sluts and whores.

It was awesome.

It was my mom's in the '80s.

It was my parents' room, but I made them trade me.

It was not enough.

It was so retarded.

It was time to turn our attention to the army of skanks.

It'll be our little secret.

It's 40 percent.

It's a factorial, so you multiply each one by N.

It's all in, like, Swedish or something.

It's been a month, and all we've done is make Regina's face smell like a foot.

It's Cady.

It's Cady. C A D Y.

It's called the South Beach Fat Flush,

It's cranberry juice cocktail. It's all sugar.

It's like I can't trust anyone anymore.

It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.

It's not a self esteem problem.

It's not going to happen.

It's not ours, it's Regina's.

It's not you. I'm bad luck.

It's our Burn Book.

It's raining.

It's raining.

It's Regina.

It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever.

Janis, I cannot stop this car. I have a curfew.

Janis! Janis! Janis! Janis!

Jason is here with Taylor Wedell.

Jason, why are you such a skeez?

Jason?

Jason.

Jason. You do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen

Jingle around the clock

Jingle bell time Is a swell time

Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock

Jingle bell, jingle bell Jingle bell rock

Jingle bells chime In jingle bell time

Jingle bells swing And jingle bells ring

Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes.

Just don't do it, promise?

Just focus on your studies for a little while.

Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.

Just that you sell drugs.

Just want you to know, if you need anything, don't be shy, OK?

Just, you know, so the team could meet a girl.

K.G. And the Power of Three.

Karen used her special talents to do the morning weather announcements.

Karen, stop it.

Kind of seems like you get it.

Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana.

Laura, I don't hate you because you're fat.

Lebanese.

Let me hear you make some noise.

Let me help you down there.

Let me know. Oh, God love you.

Let me tell you something about Janis Ian.

Let's hear it for Damian.

Let's start over here.

Let's start the competition. Here is the first question.

Lights, please. OK. See you guys tomorrow.

Like Aaron Samuels, for example.

Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle,

Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.

Limits. That was the week Aaron got his hair cut.

Limits. Why couldn't I remember anything about limits?

Look at Jessica Lopez. That dress is amazing.

Look how red she is.

Look, I know she can be really mean sometimes, but...

Look, she's not gonna get away with this again, OK?

Look, there's good and bad to everybody. Right?

Look. I'm a queen.

Looks like he's headed for the projection room

Love it. Can I get you something to drink?

Love you.

Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?

Make sure you check out her mom's boob job.

Man candy, stage right.

Man, look, I... I can't do this.

Marymount, you sons of bitches. You no good sons of bitches.

Mathletes? You hate math.

May I please speak to Taylor Wedell?

May seem like the most important thing in the world right now,

Maybe she feels weird around me

Maybe she forgot about you.

Maybe some other time, when my shirt isn't see through.

Maybe we're not in that book, because everybody likes us.

Maybe you should come back and be home schooled again for a while.

Me too.

Meanwhile, I was finding any excuse I could to talk to Aaron.

Might translate into

Miss Smith, this is no time to be laughing.

Miss Smith?

Miss Wieners, why would Regina refer to herself as a "fugly slut"?

Mix and mingle in a jingling beat

Mom, believe me. I'm your daughter.

Mom, can you pick me up? I'm scared.

Mom.

Mom.

Mother...

Mr. Duvall, this is ridiculous. Ms. Norbury does not sell drugs.

Mr. Duvall.

Ms. Norbury had us confront each other directly

Ms. Norbury had us write out apologies

Ms. Norbury has been accused of selling drugs.

Ms. Norbury?

Ms. Norbury.

My breasts can always tell when it's gonna rain.

My carpal tunnel came back.

My nail beds suck.

My nana takes her wig off when she's drunk.

My purse!

My stomach felt like it was going to fall out my butt.

My T shirt's stuck to my sweater, isn't it?

My tribal vases. Why were they under the sink?

Never in my 14 years as an educator have I seen such behavior.

Nice job, Cady.

Nice try. Have a seat.

Ninety four.

No food in class!

No, actually, I'm just here because I bartend a couple nights a week

No, because I'm trying this new thing

No, don't tell me to shut up.

No, I can't answer any more questions

No, I'm totally kidding. But she did get hurt.

No, it's just gonna be a few cool people,

No, no. Let's stay here.

No, no. Let's stay here.

No, we just have to regroup. Think outside our box.

No!

No! Do you know what everyone says about you?

No.

No.

No. He cannot blow you off like that.

No. I am, actually.

No. I don't send them, I just get them.

No. I have to go to Madison with my parents.

No. I just have a lot of feelings.

No. Not on purpose. Just, you know...

No. Only thing worse than going back will be not going back.

No. That's OK.

No. You do not push and sh...

No. You guys are friends.

Not your best.

Nothing in math class could mess me up.

Nothing you want to apologize for?

Now the jingle top has begun

Now, Cady, if we want this to work,

Now, close your eyes again.

Now, how do you overthrow a dictator?

Now, if you break any of these rules, you can't sit with us at lunch.

Now, look. This isn't about hating her, OK?

Now, we are in a sudden death. If Miss Heron can answer

Now, what the young ladies in this grade need

Now, what we're gonna try to do is fix the way you young ladies

Of really expensive white gold hoops.

Of two negative integers is a positive number.

Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us

Oh, and we only wear jeans or track pants on Fridays.

Oh, boy. OK, who's next? Who's next? Keep it going.

Oh, crap! My hair!

Oh, God, and we gave you foot cream instead of face wash.

Oh, God, busted.

Oh, God, he looked so cute. OK, focus, Cady.

Oh, God, honey, no. What kind of mother do you think I am?

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?

Oh, I got busy. Sorry.

Oh, I have to go to Madison with my parents.

Oh, I planned this one on my own.

Oh, I will.

Oh, man, that is bleak.

Oh, my God, I love your bracelet. Where did you get it?

Oh, my God, I remember this.

Oh, my God, I'm not mad at her. I'm worried about her.

Oh, my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Oh, my God, she's so annoying.

Oh, my God, that was one time!

Oh, my God, that's me.

Oh, my God, that's Ms. Norbury.

Oh, my God, there's Jason!

Oh, my God, what are you talking about?

Oh, my God! Oh, jeez. OK, walk it off. Walk it off.

Oh, my God! OK, you have to do it, OK?

Oh, my God. Don't tell her I told you that.

Oh, my God. It's her dream come true, diving into a big pile of girls.

Oh, no, no, listen to me. You're not listening to me...

Oh, no, trust me. I know exactly how to play it.

Oh, no, you can't like Aaron Samuels.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. Bye, Aaron. You're gonna hate me forever.

Oh, no. Maybe that was only OK when Janis said it.

Oh, Regina gave me some perfume.

Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood.

Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood.

Oh, yeah. I need you to sign my calculus test.

Oh, you'll get socialized, all right. A little slice like you.

OK, back to Caesar.

OK, Brutus is just as smart as Caesar.

OK, calm down, Miss George.

OK, everybody up.

OK, everybody up.

OK, fine. Do you have anything pink?

OK, go home.

OK, good. I just wanted to say that you're all winners.

OK, I lied. But I had to go home and work on my costume.

OK, if you even knew how mean she really is.

OK, irregardless. Ex boyfriends are just off limits to friends.

OK, let's rock this bitch.

OK, like, if I was wearing jeans today,

OK, listen. I mean, I did lie to you once,

OK, love you. See you tomorrow.

OK, so think it over.

OK, so we're all here because of this book, right?

OK, that was so fetch.

OK, yeah, I've got an apology.

OK, you should just know that we don't do this a lot,

OK? Lady to lady.

OK? You ready?

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. Call me.

OK. Can I have the lavatory pass?

OK. Everybody close your eyes.

OK. Good day, everybody.

OK. Good.

OK. Hold on. I'm on the other line with Gretchen.

OK. So, what we could do today is a couple exercises to help you

OK. That hurt.

OK. What is it?

OK. You are...

OK. You have really good eyebrows.

On behalf of the senior class, I'd like to present you with two gift certificates...

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

On Wednesdays, we wear pink.

Once Gretchen thought Regina was mad at her,

One for you. And none for Gretchen Wieners. Bye.

One gift certificate to the Walker Brothers Pancake House.

One time, she met John Stamos on a plane.

One time, she punched me in the face.

Open them.

Open your eyes.

Or that we're weirdly religious or something.

Our first act calls himself a star on the rise.

Our new state champions,

People looked at you all the time,

People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar.

People who do evil stuff,

Preps, JV jocks,

Pretending like nothing was wrong turned out to be surprisingly easy.

Push her in front of the bus. That was an even worse rumor.

Put it in your pocket, I don't want you to lose it.

Really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year.

Really, I don't know why I did it.

Really? How do you know?

Really? That's amazing.

Really? You would do that? I mean, nothing embarrassing, though, right?

Regina George is an evil dictator.

Regina George is flawless.

Regina George is flawless.

Regina George.

Regina had moved on.

Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me, and now she was.

Regina says everyone hates you because you're such a slut.

Regina seems sweet.

Regina seems sweet.

Regina took Aaron back.

Regina was dangling Aaron in front of me on purpose.

Regina would be nothing without her high status man candy...

Regina,

Regina, please! Regina, stop!

Regina, wait! I didn't mean for that to happen.

Regina, wait. Talk to me.

Regina, you're wearing sweatpants.

Regina!

Regina.

Regina. You seem to really hate her.

Regina's just...

Regina's like the Barbie doll I never had.

Relate to each other.

Remember when we saw those lions fighting over the wart hog carcass?

Right. Hold on.

Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys.

Right. Well... grool.

Said anything about a friend behind her back.

Santa's Helpers doing "Jingle Bell Rock".

Say something bad about you behind your back.

School used to be like a shark tank, but now I could just float.

See you tonight.

See, Gretch? I told you she's not mad at you.

See, this is the color I want.

See, we cut out girls' pictures from the yearbook,

See? That is the thing with you Plastics.

Seriously, most people just take the crown and go.

Seriously, sit down.

Seth Mosakowski.

Sexually active band geeks,

Shaken not stirred I'm Kevin Gnapoor

Shaking that thing.

Share it.

Sharon, I think you're doing a great job.

She asked me how to spell "orange".

She doesn't even go here!

She doesn't even like you that much.

She fractured her spine, and she still looks like a rock star.

She has two Fendi purses and a silver Lexus.

She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet.

She just moved here all the way from Africa.

She just, you know, came up to me and started talking to me about crack.

She knows everything about everyone.

She made out with Regina's boyfriend

She might even be hotter than Regina George.

She pushed her in front of the bus.

She ruins people's lives.

She said she works three jobs.

She tells everybody. It's kind of cute, actually.

She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me?

She took him back.

She wants to hang out with me tonight, but she told me not to tell you.

She was like, "I'm a pusher, Cady. I'm a pusher."

She was so queer.

She'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?"

She's a scum sucking road whore! She ruined my life!

She's afraid of you.

She's cheating on you!

She's fabulous, but she's evil.

She's got pretty big jugs.

She's like a little girl. She, like, writes all over her notebook,

She's like a Martian.

She's not going out with anyone.

She's not home yet. Who's calling?

She's not interested.

She's so pathetic.

She's supposed to be grounded, but he let her out.

She's the queen bee.

She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Strudel.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Shut up.

Slut faced ho bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that.

Slut faced ho bag. But in reality, she is so much more than that.

Slut!

So are we still in a fight?

So are you gonna send any candy canes?

So cute.

So don't bring some other guy with you.

So have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?

So I bought Army pants and flip flops.

So I could talk about her more.

So I followed my instincts.

So I guess you picked today.

So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina,

So I have this friend who is a new student this year.

So I showed up like this.

So it was goodbye Africa and hello high school.

So just promise me you won't make fun of her.

So that Man could fight the dinosaurs.

So that's not good.

So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her.

So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend,

So then, for my birthday party, which was an all girls pool party,

So we'll see you tomorrow.

So who has a lady problem that they'd like to talk about?

So why are you still messing with Regina, Cady? I'll tell you why.

So why didn't you just talk to me?

So why don't you take a night off from your double life.

So you better send me one, byotch.

So you could use me for your eighth grade revenge.

So you don't think anyone will vote for her?

So you need a ride to my art show this weekend?

So you should think about joining.

So you've actually never been to a real school before?

So, what did you get for this one?

So, you guys, what is the 411?

So...

Some girls say they saw her head go all the way around.

Somebody told him about Shane Oman.

Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin

Somehow, the word had gotten out about my small get together.

Something to help them with their self esteem?

Sorry. We only carry sizes 1, 3 and 5.

Ste knew it was better to be in The Plastics, hating life

Ste was such a good...

Stop you from doing your thang.

Suck on that!

Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass.

Taylor Zimmerman? Two for you.

Tell me what?

Than to not be in at all.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for getting me to come out tonight.

Thanks, Damian.

Thanks, Damian.

Thanks, K.G.

Thanks, Ms. Norbury. And if there's anything I can do

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Thanks. I... I get it now.

That answer is incorrect.

That book was written by a bunch of stupid girls

That Cady girl is hot.

That flier admits one person only,

That is correct. Question number two.

That is so fetch.

That is the ugliest F ing skirt I've ever seen.

That my sister named him Anfernee.

That new girl moved here from Africa.

That one there, that's Karen Smith.

That was something.

That was the best it ever went!

That we have a new student joining us.

That would make her gain weight,

That's a scary mask, bro.

That's all right. Gething hit by a bus is pretty good punishment.

That's beautiful. This girl is deep.

That's crazy. Why would I break up with you?

That's funny. Put that in there.

That's good. Very good.

That's not legal in the U.S. yet.

That's not right, is it?

That's only OK when I say it.

That's probably true. How many of you

That's Regina's ex boyfriend.

That's right.

That's right. That's good.

That's the jingle bell

That's the jingle bell rock

That's what I had to do. Suck all the poison out of my life.

That's what I'm talking about!

That's why her hair is so big. It's full of secrets.

That's why you wanted to join the Mathletes.

The digits are all different, and the difference between the first two digits

The first day of school was a blur.

The G is silent when I sneak in your door

The limit does not exist.

The more flowers you get.

The more Gretchen tried to win Regina back.

The only guy that ever calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa.

The school board felt that it was best that we investigate every claim made

The smaller, and the sum of four times the larger

The Spring Fling Queen is always pretty.

The star. Those other two are just her little workers.

The two were seen canoodling at Chris Eisel's Halloween party.

The weird thing about hanging out with Regina

The word vomit. I didn't mean to say it, but...

Then there was Ms. Norbury,

There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits.

There are no rules in this house. I'm not like a regular mom.

There has to be something you can say to these young ladies.

There she is.

There's been some girl on girl crime here.

These A holes will represent you for a full calendar year.

These sweatpants are all that fits me right now.

They do it every year.

They make you gain weight like crazy.

They say that you're a home schooled jungle freak,

They were real that day I wore a vest.

They're hard as rocks.

They're OK.

They're OK.

They're these weird nutrition bars my mom uses to lose weight.

They're these weird Swedish nutrition bars.

They've been inseparable ever since.

They've gone wild. The girls have gone wild.

This girl is the nastiest skank bitch

This is all your water weight.

This is Damian. He's almost too gay to function.

This is how we have to handle it. To say that someone...

This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe.

This is your lunch, OK?

This is your room?

This isn't even cranberry juice.

This problem correctly, we have a winner.

This was it.

Three, please.

To all the people whose feelings that got hurt by the Burn Book,

To be the boss of everybody?

To find out that everyone hates me? I don't care.

To go riding in a one torse sleigh

To help Aaron catch Regina in the act.

To make you like her.

To most hated person in the world to actual human being.

To pay for her pathetic divorce.

To people that we'd hurt in our lives.

To rock the nigth away

Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr?

Trang Pak?

Turned out to be extremely true,

Twice the larger of two numbers is three more than five times

Two weeks later, we spoke again.

Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule.

Unfriendly black hotties,

Until I have a parent or lawyer present.

Varsity jocks,

Vintage. So adorable.

Wait. Jason's not going out with Taylor.

Wait. Sit down.

Wait. What?

Wait. You're failing on purpose? That's stupid.

Wanna see?

Was I the new queen bee?

Was that I could hate her, and at the same time,

Watch out, please! New meat coming through!

Watch where you're going, fat ass!

We can't keep them past 4.

We crack Gretchen, and then we crack the lock

We define the sum of the infinite geometric series...

We gotta crack Gretchen Wieners.

We have tickets for this thing.

We participate in math challenges against other high schools in the state,

We pick the girl too.

We should totally just stab Caesar!"

We're gonna get to the bottom of this right now.

We're having a Halloween party at my friend Chris' tonight.

We're your friends.

We've had these tickets for months.

Welcome back, nerd.

Welcome to the Illinois High School Mathletes State Championship.

Welcome to the North Shore High School winter talent show.

Welcome.

Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100,

Well, because I couldn't. Because of Regina.

Well, half the people in this room are mad at me.

Well, I don't know who wrote this book,

Well, I have to learn it.

Well, I just wanted to let everyone know

Well, I mean, her parents totally don't sleep in the same bed anymore,

Well, I mean, you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first

Well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it.

Well, she's not mad at you.

Well, the first time I did it, I got a zero.

Well, the K‰lteen bars have burned up all your carbs,

Well, then I guess we're OK.

Well, there's this guy in my calculus class...

Well, they can tell when it's raining.

Well, this has been sufficiently awkward.

Well, unless someone wants to come forward and say, "I made it all up",

Well, welcome, Cady.

Well, you wanna watch a movie tonight?

Well, you're a good tutor.

What a brigth time It's the rigth time

What are K‰lteen bars?

What are you doing?

What are you doing? You broke up with me.

What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams?

What do they call it?

What does that even mean?

What is happening to the world?

What is that smell?

What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What...?

What's going on? Where's Ms. Norbury?

What's so great about Caesar?

What's that say? "Kaitlyn Caussin is a..."?

What's up?

What's up? Gretchen came to talk to me.

Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want.

Whatever. I mean, I could talk to him for you if you want.

Whatever. I'm getting cheese fries.

Whatever. Those rules aren't real.

When a girl can dress like a total slut

When Aaron didn't immediately ask me to be his girlfriend.

When actually, everybody hates you.

When he broke up with her last summer.

When she came back in the fall for high school,

When we were 13, she made people sign this petition

When you get bit by a snake,

Where did you get it?

Where I don't talk about people behind their backs.

Where is Cady?

Where they were always yelling at me.

Where? Oh, there he is.

Where's the back building?

While the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet?

Who are you?

Who here has ever been called a slut?

Who is?

Who make up rumors because they're bored

Who was living proof that no good deed goes unpunished.

Who was living proof that the more people are scared of you,

Who wouldn't write that?

Who?

Who's a less hot version of me.

Who's next?

Who's next?

Why are my tribal vases under the sink?

Why are you dressed so scary?

Why are you eating a K‰lteen bar?

Why didn't they just keep home schooling you?

Why do you wear your hair like that? You hair looks so sexy pushed back.

Why don't I know you?

Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant

Why would someone write that? That's just so mean.

Why would we get you into trouble?

With all the little birdies and the little monkeys."

With their own lame lives.

Without getting blamed for the whole Burn Book.

Won't we get in some sort of trouble for this?

Would be too pleased to hear about this.

Would you just do it? Please?

Would you like us to assign someone to butter your muffin?

Wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest.

Wrong.

Wrong. He was so wrong.

X Y L O C A R P. Xylocarp.

Yeah, and then she was devastated

Yeah, and then she was devastated

Yeah, but he's my first cousin.

Yeah, I can't do this.

Yeah, I know. You told me that one before.

Yeah, I'm gonna call you Cady.

Yeah, like negative four and negative six.

Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling.

Yeah, Regina has been acting kind of weird lately.

Yeah, she's trying to make it look like we wrote it, but really, she wrote it.

Yeah, sure, no problem.

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, they're the same thing.

Yeah, you have to check it because sometimes the product

Yeah, you know, there's some weird ingredient in them

Yeah! Take your top off!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. He's almost too gay to function.

Yeah. So don't try to act so innocent.

Yeah. Two years ago, she told me that hoop earrings were her thing

Yes, words can't bring me down

Yes, words can't bring me down

Yes! Yes!

Yes?

Yes.

Yes. Every Thursday he thinks she's doing SAT prep.

Yes. No.

Yo, yo, yo

You are gonna have to keep hanging out with them like nothing is wrong.

You are just like a clone of Regina.

You better get your story straight, Miss Heron,

You can ask one of the big kids where to do that.

You can take that fake apology and shove it right up your hairy...

You can tell me. Hold on.

You can tell me. It was a really bitchy thing for her to do.

You can walk home, bitches.

You can't join Mathletes. It's social suicide.

You can't wear a tank top two days in a row,

You could try Sears.

You cut off her resources.

You didn't hear it from me.

You didn't write that whole book yourself.

You don't wanna sit there. Kristen Hadley's boyfriend is gonna sit there.

You girls keep me young. Oh, I love you so much.

You got your freshmen, ROTC guys,

You gotta steal that book.

You guys know that song?

You know I couldn't invite you. I had to pretend to be Plastic.

You know Swedish?

You know that I'm not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right?

You know what? It's not my fault you're in love with me or something!

You know what's weird about your quizzes, Cady,

You know who's looking fine tonight?

You know, I bet she sells drugs on the side

You know, I think I need a tutor.

You know, I've never been to one of these things before.

You know, it's not really required of you to make a speech.

You let it out, honey.

You like that? Yeah! Get some! Get some!

You look...

You love him. And he totally complimented you.

You made it.

You mean I'm really nominated?

You need the lavatory pass.

You Puerto Rican?

You remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you, just in case.

You smell like a baby prostitute.

You think that everybody is in love with you,

You try to act like you're so innocent. Like, "Oh, I used to live in Africa

You wanna come?

You wanna do something fun?

You wanna go to Taco Bell?

You were supposed to call me last night.

You were supposed to wear a costume.

You're a lion.

You're a successful, intelligent, caring, graceful woman.

You're already out.

You're fat because I hate you.

You're gonna want to take off your clothes and touch each other.

You're grounded.

You're not a wart hog,

You're not stupid, Karen.

You're Plastic. Cold, shiny, hard Plastic.

You're so hot.

You're so skinny.

You're supposed to suck the poison out.

You're taking 12th grade calculus?

You're the one who made me like this

You've been acting really stuck up ever since you switched to shortfielder.

Your face smells like peppermint.

Your hair looks sexy pushed back.

Your house is really nice.

Your mom does not hate you.

Your nana and I have that in common.

"Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin." Still half true.

"Janis Ian, dyke"? That's original.

"Trang Pak is a grotsky little byotch." Still true.

about all the girls in our grade. What does it say about me?

Africa, you did the damn thing. Thanks.

All right, let's reconvene tonight. I can't.

All right. It's all you. OK.

Amen. Amen.

And he's with Taylor Wedell. I heard they're going out.

And thank you, Mr. Duvall. Well, thank you.

Ashton Kutcher. Is that a band?

Because that vest was disgusting. You can't sit with us!

But I wasn't lost. Yeah.

Bye. Bye.

Cady, what do you say? He was...

Candy cane grams! OK, hurry up.

Correct. Shoot. I was really rusty.

Could you go fix your hair? OK.

Dawn? Don't drag me into this,

Did you write this? No, I swear!

Do I know you? Deek! What up, dog?

Do you feel nauseous at all? No.

Does that mean anything to you? No.

Don't, Karen... Hey, Seth!

Ephedrine? No.

Everything. Did you see nipple?

Fine, I'll go. Shut up.

Fine. Were people nice?

Fine. Were people nice?

God, my hips are huge! Oh, please. I hate my calves.

God, no. Oh, OK, good.

Have you been drinking? No.

Have you ever seen this before? No.

Have you guys seen Aaron yet? No.

Hello? Hello.

Hello? I know your secret.

Hello? If someone said something bad

Her property? No. Shut up. Not her property...

Here you go. Thank you.

Hey, Aar... Hey, you're the Africa girl, right?

Hey, get out of here! Oh, my God, Danny DeVito.

Hey, good job, Africa. Thanks.

Hey, what's up? Hey. Didn't think you'd make it.

Hey! Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. Why were you talking to Janis Ian?

Hi. Welcome to our home.

His name's Aaron Samuels. No!

Hold on. Are you OK?

Hold on. OK, hurry up.

How would you know? I know,

How'd you do? Not so good.

How's your stomach now? It's fine.

I didn't say anything. Home schooled.

I don't steal. That is for your feet.

I haven't looked at that in forever. Come check it out, Cady.

I love you. I know, I know.

I think I'm gonna do it. Great.

I wanna lose 3 pounds. You're crazy.

I want you to see it. Coolness.

I wasn't... God, you know what?

I win. Yes, you do.

I'm from Michigan. Great.

I'm Janis. Hi, I'm Cady.

I'm just done with my quiz. Wait. I'll grade it right now.

I'm starving. Man, I hate those things.

if it looks good on you. I wouldn't?

Is Regina going? No. Do you think I'm an idiot?

Is that bad? But if you like him...

It only counts if you saw a nipple. That's true, dude.

It won't close. It's a 5.

It's adorable. Oh, it's so fetch.

It's Cady. Oh, Cady, here you go.

It's not fair to Regina. Why do you like her?

It's pronounced like Katie. My apologies.

Kevin G! Thank you, Kevin, that's enough.

Like a drug pusher? Probably.

Little harsh, Gretch. Whatever. She has a right to know.

Make me look good out there. OK.

My hairline is so weird. My pores are huge.

My mom taught me at home... No, no.

My what? Is he bothering you?

New clothes? Thanks.

Nice to meet you. Nice wig, Janis.

No, I know. OK, so you're not mad at Regina?

No, thank you. Good. So it's settled.

No, thank you. OK.

No! No, no. No, no.

No. Because if you are,

No. Did you make any friends?

No. What are marijuana tablets?

No. What are we supposed to do?

No. What if it was someone

North Shore, who do you select? The girl, dude. The girl.

North Shore? Fourteen and five.

Now, here's what we're gonna do... Ron, come quick!

Oh, come on. Well, who can blame her?

Oh, I don't know... Oh, my God, I love your bracelet.

Oh, it's OK... Coolness.

Oh, my God, she's so annoying. I know. Just get rid of her.

Oh, no, Cady. Why would she do that?

Oh, no, I'm not going. What?

Oh, no. Look,

Oh, yeah. So...

Oh, you'd be perfect for it. Yeah, definitely.

OK, you did not just say that. What? He's a good kisser.

OK. Is your muffin buttered?

Phentermine. No.

Please stop talking. OK.

Say "crack" again. Crack.

saying that Janis was... Damian! Please!

Shane Oman. Yes!

She's just more up front about it. Oh, no. It was coming up.

So how do you like North Shore? It's good.

So? So that's against the rules

Thank you. So you agree.

Thanks, sucker. Yo, peace.

Thanks. Move.

that Janis was... Damian! Shall we not?

That was awesome. Lip gloss.

The limit is negative one. Oh, crap. I lost.

the North Shore Mathletes. Yeah!

The Spice Girls? I love her.

Then why do you like her? Why do you?

then you have your second cousins... No, honey.

Then you told somebody! She told!

We're doing a dance to this song... "Jingle Bell Rock."

We're gonna do something. We are?

Wedell on South Boulevard. Caller ID.

Well, my question is, why? Regina started this rumor

What are you talking about? You're a regulation hottie.

What are you? I'm a mouse.

What are you? I'm a mouse.

What do we even talk about? Hair products.

What do you mean? It's like I have ESPN or something.

What is "fetch"? Oh, it's, like, slang. From England.

What is this?! Actual vomit.

What? I used to be home schooled.

What? I'd rather see you out there

What? Own it.

What? What?

What? You think you're really pretty.

What?! Oh, no she did not!

What's going on? Have a seat, Miss Heron.

What's it made of? Your mom's chest hair!

What's up? Can I help you?

Where are you going? Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

Where are you, Cady? That's me.

Where did you get it? Oh, my mom made it for me.

Who are The Plastics? They're teen royalty.

Who cares? I care.

Who does she think she is? You're right, hon.

Who is it? It's a senior?

Who is that? I think that's that kid Damian.

Who's this? Gretchen.

Why do you hate her? What do you mean?

Why? I'm failing.

Why? You don't want me to tell you.

Will this minimize my pores? No. Cady,

Wrong. But then when I checked it, I got...

Yeah, I like math. Why?

Yeah, that's in the back building. Yeah, we'll take you there.

Yeah. Fantastic.

Yeah. I'm Kevin Gnapoor,

Yeah. It's gorgeous.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. No.

You know that girl Cady? Yeah, she's cool.

You little bitch! You're a bitch!

You nervous? Yes.

You shopping? No, I'm just here with my boyfriend.

You totally have a crush on that guy. No, I don't.

You're not in it. Those bitches.

... is Cady Heron.

...and ignorant band of loyal followers.

...how was your summer? I got divorced.

...I'm sorry.

...I'm such a good friend.

...if you need anything or if you wanna talk to somebody...

...one. There you go.

...technically good physique...

...why is everybody stressing over this thing?

"Alyssa, I'm sorry I called you a gap toothed bitch."

"Amber D'Alessio." She made out with a hot dog.

"And I'm sorry I told everyone about it."

"Dawn Schweitzer has a huge ass"? Who would write that?

"Gretchen,

"How would I know", right?

"I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea"

"It's not your fault you're so gap toothed."

"Janis Ian, dyke."

"Made out with a hot dog"?

"Mrs. Aaron Samuels."

"Thanks for being such a great friend. Love, Regina."

"Trang Pak made out with Coach Carr"?

"Why is he so huge and obnoxious?"

"Why, Man, he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus"