Men in Black II (2002) Edit

A box stacker who's not stacking boxes. He's leaving clues.

A code 101 lockdown!

A group of Zarthans made the journey,

A little thick in the body, but pretty.

A neuralyz...

A quasi government agency, the Men in Black,

A source of power so awesome, it alone

A two headed guy and a woman. Caucasian?

Aah! Whoo!

About to lay the smackdown on your candy ass.

Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me.

After you flash me,

Again.

Agent Jay? All right, all right.

Agent Kay.

Ah!

Ah.

Ah. Him, right there. It's fine. Everything's straight. It's safe.

Ah. Paw Paw's coming to visit me. Hello, Paw Paw.

Alien on alien.

Alien prisoners released, armed and ready for your orders.

Aliens travel billions of light years just to check out our...

All hail Jay! All hail Jay!

All hail Jay! All hail Jay!

All hail Kay! All hail Kay!

All is lost! All is lost!

All packages must be properly wrapped.

All right, Serleena.

All right, there was a killing earlier. 177 Spring.

All right.

All right.

All right. You pointing at something.

All those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another.

Alley oop.

Allowing the Zarthans to escape

Alone. A talking dog might be a bit much for her now.

Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence,

American Samoa? Amish quilts. No.

An hour ago, a man I've known my whole life vanished

Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.

Anchovy filets in virgin olive oil.

And a two headed guy with the IQ of a cannoli.

And for making that many copies. Surrender!

And have cookies and candy and stuff.

And it was raining.

And please check the expiration date on the unipod worm tranquilizers.

And plus, you can't count Elle.

And so, never knowing what happened,

And that she would destroy any planet that stood in her way.

And you get all the garbage you want.

Any fruits or vegetables? Yeah, two heads of cabbage.

Are you allergic to shellfish? Jeebs!

Are you gonna slow me down?

Are you one of Newton's friends from therapy?

At hyper speed, you have to use the navigational stalk.

Attach a de atomizer so it doesn't sound like a cannon.

Bad. Very bad.

Be kind! Rewind!

Because of a woman with things coming out her fingers

Because you don't listen. You're ignorant.

Bee, Dee, when you use a fission carbonizer,

Ben was an alien. So were his killers.

Ben, I don't know what to say.

Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here. I assume the perp was over here.

Ben.

Ben... You deserve it.

Bend him! Bend him.

Bitch.

Black, two sugars, if you're going. An honor.

Boo.

Bottom of my heart, I'm really sorry. I hope it won't affect our friendship.

Boy, move.

Boys.

Bring him in.

Bring him in.

Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement.

Bring your head in this window before I roll it up in there.

Brown paper and triple twist twine are the preferred media.

But he kept getting pulled over. Yep.

But I can offer you some Berlin airlift stamps. No. Opera legends? No.

But if I say so myself, I find it slimming.

But the Zarthans had a great treasure, the Light of Zartha.

But they could not intervene.

But they had no choice.

But you won't see me.

By a secret society of protectors...

Can you tell us anything about the account?

Can't help you. Heh.

Can't say I do. I'm good with faces.

Can't. Dead?

Check his visa.

Check.

Clear!

Come on, man! Damn!

Coming through. MiB brass. Look sharp.

Communicator, Jay.

Computer, Internet.

Computer, surveillance MiB.

Cool.

Cool.

Could mean victory and restoration for the Zarthans

Cracked your head. Slammed you across the room.

Crowded.

Cut out the meat and dairy.

Damn!

Damn!

Damn.

Dedication's one thing, but this job will eat you up and spit you out.

Deneuralyzer.

Dental?

Did I leave anything here? Yes. The timekeeper.

Did y'all...? MiB is a mess. Let's go, kid.

Did you peep that drop top thing out front?

Did you tell the girl you love her? She's a witness to a crime. That's it.

Didn't I teach you anything, kid? Pineal eye!

Didn't you ever have a Game Boy? What is a Game Boy?

Didn't you, Kay?

Do not come back for me.

Do not come back for me. What do you mean?

Do not come back for me. What do you mean?

Do you remember me?

Does that come standard? It came with a black dude,

Don't fall asleep.

Don't got it.

Don't mention it.

Don't touch that!

Don't worry, folks. I used to live here. Came to pick up a few things.

Don't you ever go home? Nope.

Drop that weapon! No, no, no!

Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it.

Education. I want to learn how to be an underwear model.

Eight.

Emergency drill. For your safety. Do you believe these putzes?

Episode 27, Light of Zartha.

Even if I did, if it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off.

Everybody in the car. Everybody.

Everybody out before I knock heads. Put the hammer down on this thing.

Exactly. Serleena broke into MiB in order to lure me back.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. My buddy's kind of shy, but he thinks you are hot.

Excuse my partner. He's new and he's...

Fastest way back to MiB, you take this right on 39th.

Feb 1. Five months, three days.

Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. Then he's no good to us.

Fifteen seconds to launch.

Find Kay? Neuralyzed.

Four minutes to launch.

Four minutes to launch.

Frank, just cool out, dog.

Frank, where are you?

Frank!

Frank? Frank? Okay, here we go, automatic pilot.

Frank? Yeah?

Fresh out.

From one of their files that doesn't exist.

From one of their files that doesn't exist.

Full perimeter wipe down, right here, right now.

Funny.

Gatbot, I got a little something special for you.

Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question:

Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place. Seen any aliens lately?

Get a couple fission carbonizers and get our headquarters back.

Get a mop and escort all civilian personnel from this site immediately.

Get back in the subway! Now!

Get him armed and up to speed and over to deneuralyzation.

Get him off me!

Get married. Have a bunch of kids.

Get to the launch pad. The bracelet shows the departure point.

Girl. Saw everything.

Give it a minute.

Give me Jay. We'll call it even. Groovy.

Give me the bracelet. I'm going with you.

Give twice as much as ye receive on our most sacred of days.

Go for the mosh tendrils!

Go out only at night.

Go!

Go. He's fine. He does this all the time.

God bless you. Thank you.

Godspeed.

Good to see you too, whoever you are.

Good to see you, Kay.

Good work in the subway.

Good work, partner. Yeah.

Good work.

Got it, Jay.

Got it.

Got it.

Got it. Hey!

Got kids? No.

Gray, with tentacles that she used to rip...

Greetings, Kay.

Guess.

Had this been an emergency, you'd have been eaten.

Half the time you were on your back. Look, that's how I fight.

Harvey, get over here!

Harvey!

Harvey!

Harvey. Harvey!

Harvey. Heel, heel!

Have him escorted to the Chambers Street station.

Have you removed all your jewelry?

Have you used this before?

He runs a pizza parlor on Spring Street.

He said third planet. It's here, you idiot.

He was crying in the middle of the diner.

He was... Here.

He's a dog. I don't even like him. No, the girl. You're sweet on her.

He's like... He like...

Headquarters has been breached. We need to peel caps and split wigs.

Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives.

Heh. I think I'd remember that.

Hell, no.

Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us. I knew this hot young thing.

Hello, Jay. Long time.

Help! Heart attack!

Here is one of their stories that "never happened"

Here it is. Ta da.

Hey Hey.

Hey, get some booties on them things. You're crapping up the floor.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, honey, how you doing?

Hey, how long we been partners?

Hey, Jay, wait up.

Hey, Kay.

Hey, let me buy you a piece of pie. Really?

Hey, Mom?

Hey, pretty lady.

Hey, shut up!

Hey, what the...?

Hey, what's happening, fellas? MiB is code 101.

Hey, you're not alone in the universe.

Hey! Frank.

Hey! No biting.

Hm, looks like Spielberg's work.

Hm.

Hmm. MiB is locked down.

Hold on to that for one second.

Hoo ah.

Hoo eeh.

Hopefully, you enjoyed our smaller, energy efficient subway cars.

How a man gonna bash through...? That's the problem with New Yorkers.

How about we do the good cop, dumb dog thing, and you just shut up?

How you doing? I'm good, man.

How'd it go?

How'd you know his head grows back?

How's it hanging?

However, in an act of galactic bravery, the Men in Black subdued Serleena,

I am so sorry.

I ask you nice, "Move to the next car." You just sit there like...

I brought them from Grand Central.

I cannot emphasize enough how much we need you on that transport.

I could use a steering wheel here! This is what we got.

I did miss this city.

I didn't do anything.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I don't know what's in there, so step back.

I don't know why they did it, but I promise I'm gonna find out.

I don't know.

I don't mean to bother you... You're Agent Kay!

I don't want to see you making my mistakes.

I drive the new hotness.

I got a Kylothian class C in my park. Are you sure this Light isn't here?

I got y'all, it's cool. Check this out.

I gotta go. What about the flashy thing?

I guess we have till midnight, that's 59 minutes to figure it out.

I hate that.

I hope I'm not slowing you down.

I just thought we was bonding.

I know the code, but she might be important to me.

I know what I saw. Tell me what I'm supposed to believe.

I know, by the book.

I lose, you lose. I win, everything keeps spinning.

I need a cleanup crew at 81st and Central Park West.

I need a spacecraft that can travel 300 times the speed of light.

I need an assistant. It's not field work, but you get dental.

I never got the updated software. Still working off the 6.0.

I never worked in a funeral home. Something I can do for you, slick?

I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now.

I remember Jeff when he was yea high.

I said, "Bitch, if you don't want me to kick your

I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars.

I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion.

I say we do the good cop, bad cop thing.

I see you neuralyzed another partner.

I should have vaporized you before. You really did love Lauranna.

I should take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass?

I shouldn't have.

I take that back. He look like crap.

I think Earth might be in a bad way. You're the only one that could save it.

I think you know what I mean, Mrs. Vigushin. Heh, heh.

I understand you're scared. I'm a little scared too.

I used it to make some hot air popcorn. That's about it.

I wanna have your baby.

I want him in pieces.

I want one of those.

I wanted to go to Cambodia. You can get a lobster dinner for a dollar.

I was in the Bowery, and I meet this Great Dane.

I was talking, Kay! Aah!

I won't answer any more questions. I want to know what happened here.

I'd be like, "No."

I'll be his partner.

I'll be in the gym if you need me.

I'll call you back. I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...

I'll contact the witness. We'll talk to her.

I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy invertebrate.

I'll give you whatever you want.

I'll see you.

I'm a Libra. You're Zarthan.

I'm a member of a secret organization that monitors alien activity on Earth.

I'm about to attack one of the most feared aliens

I'm Agent Eff, Jay's new partner. Who are you eyeballing, huh?

I'm Agent Jay.

I'm back. You got some dust on your coat.

I'm Captain Larry Bridgewater. I decide what happens.

I'm gonna need them together on this one.

I'm in a jam, so I'll make this simple.

I'm just touched you remembered me. Makes me fuzzy all over.

I'm not scared. Me neither.

I'm sorry, got a world to save here.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to... Kill me.

I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back.

I've dated worse.

Idiots.

If I could have your attention while we go over the safety procedures.

If I don't bring Kay back to MiB, Serleena's gonna kick my ass.

If it does, I've brought back Kay, who, for fun, blows my head oh'.

If not, people are waiting for their TV Guides.

If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, he's dead.

If the joker that had got deneuralyzed hadn't created the situation...

If we extend protection for the Light beyond Earth,

If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village.

If you want it, go get it.

If, during the ride, you become disoriented,

In a Chia Pet.

In case I was deneuralyzed because my replacement couldn't handle it.

In order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian, Serleena.

In order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies.

In order to move tranquilly into your future!

In the locker, we'll find another clue. That's the plan.

Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth.

Into a trap.

Is it glowing?

Is that decaf? Sorry.

Is this card valid?

Ish?

It grows back?

It is not automatic piloting. He doesn't operate at hyper speed.

It rains because you're sad, baby.

It self destructs, annihilating your little planet.

It was night.

It's about time you guys got here. That lady is causing all kinds of hell.

It's all about to make sense, kid.

It's an arrow.

It's as if I gave the order to you. Ask the agent.

It's kind of sad. We need to let them out.

It's nice.

It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer similar to the gum in baseball cards.

It's not skin. It's protoplasma polymer similar to the gum in baseball cards.

It's not the Light. It tells us the departure point.

It's often something small.

It's on Earth, and I know who's gonna tell me where it is.

It's only a 600 foot worm.

Jarra Jr. is going, going,

Jarra, good to see you.

Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly,

Jay, ain't seen you in a while.

Jay, I'm... I'm sorry.

Jay!

Jay!

Jay? Frank. You were the best darn partner a Remoolian could ever have.

Jay? You're slowing me down, slick.

Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you!

Jeff. Hang on!

Jeffrey!

Joints look like they pick up cable.

Just a little flash and everything goes back the way it was.

Just about everybody who works in a post office is an alien.

Kay, for real, man. Open the damn locker.

Kay, he's a ball chinnian. Oh.

Kay, my partner. Laura, the witness.

Kay, please. If Serleena takes the Light, it's the end of our world.

Kay, Wait! Kay!

Kay, you remember anything? Goodbye.

Kay!

Kay! He's back! The light giver!

Kay?

Kay.

Kay. C. Express mail, two day air.

Keep an eye on her. I'll keep both on her.

Kevin. Heh. Wow.

Kevin. That's funny. You don't have a "Kevin"...

Kid, I'll get you trained yet.

Kind of.

Kitchen! Oh.

Know what you're doing?

Known as the Men in Black.

Large adult entertainment section in the back.

Larry? That's my man, Jeff.

Launch terminated.

Laura, it's me. Jay, we're playing Twister.

Laura, you are the Light.

Laura! It's your destiny!

Laura's very important to me.

Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black to help her hide the Light on Earth.

Led by the Keeper of the Light...

Left to illuminate our streets and hearts.

Let me ask you a question. Why did you join MiB?

Let me down, ma'am. I want to report a robbery...

Let's go?

Let's go. And wipe your nose, idiot.

Light of Zartha, something like that.

Like you did with Lauranna? I put the entire planet in danger.

Like you don't know who you are.

Like you know more about out there than you do down here.

Limber. Go to subcontrol panel 7 R Delta.

Listen, partner. I may look like a dog, but I only play one here on Earth.

Lockdown.

Lockdown. Code 101.

Look, you've been out for five years. That's a long time.

Look. Here's an idea. Let's stop chasing butt backwards clues,

Look. See those guys in black suits?

Low bridge! What's going on, man?

Lower your weapon. No.

Magneto energy will surge through your brain,

Main hall, egg display.

May I have your attention, please?

Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee?

Maybe landed in Chicago. Ha ha ha.

Memory's shot. But we'll find him. Don't put anything in our ears.

MiB code 773/I 1 clearly states that all civilian personnel...

MiB headquarters. Some dumb two headed guy.

MiB is code 101. Yeah, who did it?

Might I suggest a bigger gun?

Mmm. Oh. Good pie. Yeah.

Modified to hyper speed! Seat belts.

Move your bum ass out of your mom's house.

Must be hard.

Must be very lonely.

My business is banging, dog.

My communicator, in case you need it.

My money? It's missionary.

Mysteries in History, with your host, Peter Graves.

Name and planet of origin?

Never forget a pretty whatever you are.

Never get tired of that one.

Never is.

Never stood half a chance.

Newton? Newton, is that you?

Newton. There's a rat in the toilet.

Nice move. Okay. Um...

Nice place.

Nice sled, very swank.

Nice to see you again, Kay.

Nice to see you again, Kay.

No one knows he exists.

No problem!

No problem. Hoo ah.

No smoking.

No wonder Zed brought me back. He did it because you messed up.

No, I was going to, uh... I interrogated her.

No, no, I'm fine. It's my fault. Uh... Uh...

No, no, no! Sit down!

No, no, wait!

No, thanks, we're cool.

No!

No! Ha ha.

No.

No.

No.

No. I can help.

No. No advice.

No. No way. You have a planet to save.

Noise.

Nope!

Nope. Never seen him before in my life.

Not active. Civilian. What?

Not ready.

Not that I've had problems with the ladies.

Nothing fancy, no heroics. By the book.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Now it's the scum's turn.

Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not.

Now y'all running'?

Now, where is he? Where is who?

Now.

Now.

Oh, boy.

Oh, good and gentle townfolk of Locker C 18,

Oh, jeez.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, merciful Jay, the keeper of... Come on.

Oh, that way. Away from the bullets.

Oh, that's feeling better.

Oh. And there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black.

Oh. They were telling me about Oprah, from Chicago.

Oh. Uh...

Oh. You like jokes, huh?

Oi.

Okay, all right. He's pointing...

Okay, homey, I keep it downstairs next to the snow blowers.

Okay, I'll tell you what.

Okay, straight down.

Okay, that should do it.

Okay, whoa. He's retired, right?

Okay! Let's make it happen, cap'n!

Okay? Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Just a question.

Okay. What's that thing?

Old and busted, new hotness.

Old busted hotness.

Once we have the Light, Zartha will be ours.

Once you go worm, that's what you'll yearn.

Ooh. Ha ha.

Ooh. Hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy?

Or complete annihilation, if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians.

Ouch.

Our hearts tell us there is something else out there.

Over here.

Over our dead titanium bodies!

Pass it on to others! So that they too may be enlightened!

Passports. No rush. How they hanging, Jay?

Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see what's going on in the garden.

People of Truro, may I kindly have your attention?

Perfect.

Perfect. It's an old friend.

Photo pointing to a key in a pizzeria which opens a locker at Grand Central.

Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool. What you...?

Please, shut up, Charlie.

Pleasure.

Positive. I gave the order. My best agent carried it out.

Postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts, and I'm ordering you to leave.

Princess Lauranna.

Prisoners of MiB, the scum of the universe.

Pull yourselves together.

Quit touching my butt! I thought it was your face.

Ready, guys?

Real nice. Okay, that's the last time I help out a friend.

Reason for visit?

Reconcile your past,

Remove the arm. Okay.

Revoke Jeff's movement privileges.

Right here. Right.

Right here. Thirty... Thirty... Right!

Right over there!

Right, then! Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Right.

Running out of time, Kay. Where is the Light?

Scrad?

Second, take her to Cambodia. Get her lobster. Pay more than a dollar.

See you.

Serleena has the bracelet. Why take Laura?

Serleena, released from her captors, vowed that the Light would be hers,

Serleena!

Serleena.

Serleena. Old girlfriend? She wishes.

Seven.

She also wants me.

She has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on.

She wanted to go back to the morgue. I helped her.

She'll put a little fontina cheese on.

She's taking it well.

Shut down power. Shut down power. Buttons, buttons. I'm guessing, uh...

Shut off power so they can't take off. Can't. Too scared.

Silly little planet. I could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands.

Six years in the Marines. I like the action. Protect the planet.

Skinny Zone Diet ass, turn around and exit the planet."

Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the Weather Channel.

Sniff around.

So feisty.

So feisty. Look, we both need the same thing.

So Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter.

So they might hide the Light on another planet.

So you got your memory back. Yeah.

So, what's it like on the outside? Not doing this every day?

Some hot looking biker chick. Want me to tail her?

Sorry you made the trip for nothing.

Sorry, fellas. Station closed.

Sort of. He works at the post office.

Spinach? Mushroom.

Started at noon. Nine hours.

Stay where you are. I'll be in touch. Stay where I am. Easy for you to say.

Stay.

Still a rookie.

Still sulking?

Still think I'm paranoid? Yeah.

Still working on the alien affirmative action program.

Straight to the point.

Subway may not be the best place

Supposedly carries out operations here on Earth

Sure thing. Just going for the look.

Sure. How do you take it? Black? Couple cubes of kiss my ass?

Sweet dreams...

Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. Kaluth system.

Take a deep breath. Everything is all right.

Take Tee with you and make a report.

Talk to me. It's Kylothian, class C.

Tee, when was the last time we just looked at the stars?

Teeth.

Tell it to the hand. Stressful is what we got back at MiB.

Tell me something we don't know. Yeah, tell me something... Achoo!

Tell me what you saw.

Thank you for participating.

Thank you for your time.

Thanks for bringing me back. No problem.

Thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night.

Thanks.

That bracelet will go nuclear and destroy Earth.

That in the wrong hands it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha.

That is a hell of a fish.

That is very bad news.

That? Yep.

That'd be my fault. I'm very sorry. Please don't neuralyze me, sir.

That's banging. Who are you, stranger?

That's just nasty.

That's just not appealing to me, man. Seriously.

That's not good.

That's not what you promised me.

That's what they tell me. This is an honor. Agent Gee.

That's why she left you, Kay. That's why your wife left you.

That's why you didn't neuralyze her. You got emotionally involved.

The airlines black out holidays. It's a conspiracy, I'm sure, I mean...

The astronaut.

The building gets pressurized. Nothing in, nothing out. I knew that.

The Cephalopods have been making counterfeits at Kinko's on Canal.

The deneuralyzer.

The deneuralyzer.

The Drolacks are gone and the treaty is signed.

The Earth's very existence may rest on what Kay knows.

The great Kay's a neutral.

The last suit you'll ever wear.

The leader of your people. Their spirit and their hope.

The Light of Zartha? Never heard of it.

The Light will leave the third planet and be back home.

The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room.

The most feared human in the universe.

The most respected agent in MiB history.

The people of Earth were once again saved

The people of Earth were saved by a secret society of protectors

The perps were looking for the Light of...

The Postal Service hasn't kept up with today's youth,

The power is within you to save a planet.

The tablet! The tablet! The tablet! The tablet!

The total annihilation of Zartha. All because you went mushy.

The watch? A reminder.

The worm guys.

The Zarthans came to Earth to hide the Light from Serleena.

The Zarthans' princess, Lauranna, beseeched the Men in Black,

The...

Their agent Jay caught me siphoning ozone to sell on the black market.

There is a free mental health clinic on the corner of Lilac and East Valley.

There was no coma. It was a cover.

There.

There's nothing we can do about it.

These guys really need Kay. He's a neutral.

They got the bracelet.

They kept asking Ben about a light.

They need to know the world is bigger than that.

They said you were dead. We're double parked.

They told me I've got real potential. Hmm?

They work here. We got it covered. Zed, what you got?

They'll say, "imagine that. Big shot like her used to work here."

They're good at this. They don't have spines.

They're like mini bagels, with pizza stuff on them.

They're the Backstreet Boys of the universe. They throw snowballs?

They're touchy about global warming.

They're worms.

Things have changed. We used to neuralyze witnesses.

Third Rock from the Sun. I never got that till now.

Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia,

Thirty seconds to launch.

This bracelet is what everybody's been after?

This is a test. I can do this.

This is not good. This is not good.

This makes no sense. It's not on Earth.

Thousands of people in New York and New Jersey saw our little event.

Three minutes to launch.

Titanium case. Waterproof to over 300 meters.

To facilitate your shipping needs,

To get... Deneuralyzed.

To hide the Light from Serleena.

To lose her. Shh.

To us. To the stuff... Me and you, man, the stuff we're doing.

To us. Well, for help. To help us later.

Too bad you wiped out his memory of it.

Transit authority. Move to the forward car.

Trapped like rats

Twenty five years, and you're still such a looker.

Twister!

Two days ago, I was running a post office. You are who you are.

Two minutes to launch.

Two minutes.

Two slices of pepperoni and information about the Light of Zartha.

Uh huh. Down to one now, Jarra!

Uh, let's play this one by ear.

Uh, Tee. Jeff, uh...

Uh... I'll flash you some other time.

Uh... Uh...

Um, he's...

Um... Tee. Right.

Unh! Aah! Ha ha.

Unh! Zed?

Unh. That's gonna leave a scar.

Unlocking information that could hold the key to Earth's very survival.

Wait, don't bend him.

Wait, Kay, no. I know what I'm doing.

Wait, no. Whoa, whoa. I remember that.

Wait! No! Aah!

Wake up, champ!

Want them?

Was he 5'7", thinning hair? You knew him?

Watch your step. You will have a nice evening.

We are who we are,

We couldn't find it, but we found a guy who might know where it is.

We don't do that. Right. I ordered it off the planet.

We got 39 minutes. You guys, um,

We got a bug in the electrical system.

We gotta figure out where it goes. I know where.

We have a breach. Cordon off this area.

We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world.

We need a plan. Where we going? Scene of the crime?

We need the deneuralyzer.

We need wig splitting weapons. Got them.

We put Earth in jeopardy. We must remain neutral.

We sent samples to Em for analysis. Hey, Jay, zero percent body fat.

We took care of this a long time ago. Obviously not.

We were framed. Zed's wormophobic.

We were wondering why you're here. The man's talking to you.

We're headed to the worm guys. We found the Light.

We're not going back to MiB.

We're taking fire. Kay pushed the red button.

We're the Men in Black. We have a situation. We need your help.

We've all been there. The girl is gone and it hurts. Wanna talk'?

Welcome back, Agent Kay.

Well, let's see what you got here, chief.

Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back.

Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back.

Well, they got good pie.

Well, Zed...

What about the Light's secret? If it's not off Earth by midnight,

What are you gonna do to stop me? Not me. Him.

What are you talking about?

What did you mean, leave you? Well, he took your gun.

What do we got?

What do we got? There's residue on the wall.

What do you make of that? Found it in my pocket. Weird, huh?

What do you want me to do?

What happened... What happened with Tee...

What is wrong with you?

What part is she supposed to feel all right about?

What the hell are you doing here, worm boy?

What the hell is going on? Don't know.

What time? Lunch.

What was the last thing you ate? Calzone.

What you got for me?

What you remember is you used to drive that old, busted jawn.

What?

What?

What?

What? If we don't get there in 11 minutes,

What? Still sitting shiva? Want my advice?

What? What, I'm the Light?

What?!

What's it been? Five years? And 42 days.

What's that supposed to mean? Nothing, sir.

What's that?

What's the book say? We're off book. I say split some wigs.

What's up with anal probing?

What's up, Jay?

What's with the video card? Don't know.

Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets, right here.

Whatever, man.

Whatever. Wipe your mouth. Hey, babe.

When our bodies were in the positions of the Kamasutra...

When we're kids, before we're taught how to think,

When you get down to... Whoa.

When you get sad, it rains. Lots of people get sad when it rains.

When you look at the stars, you get a feeling,

Where do we shut off the power?

Where is the Light?

Which could be the next 28 minutes, so get to loving and cherishing.

Which is why we can't bust in there.

Which one of y'all is Neeble? Yo, mama!

Whoa! Who are you and how'd you get in?

Whoa. No. Not yet. MiB code 773 clearly says...

Whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth.

Whoo! Heh. Flushed. Heh.

Why didn't you say I love you?

Why didn't you say it was you?

Why didn't you tell me?

Why do I have a dead Tricrainasloph going through passport control?

Why do you think you're so comfortable here?

Why don't you go grab us some coffee?

Why don't you sit here? Like you got a shot.

Why put them in my locker?

Wind blew the door open.

With four worms and a mailman. Let's make it hot.

Worm guys, give me some cover fire.

Would you have let her go?

Would you like some mini pizz...?

Would you like some mini pizza?

Wow, look who's back.

Yaah.

Yada, yada. You're attracted. She's not my species, and I'm attracted.

Yah!

Yeah, and you look like crap.

Yeah, every Saturday night, you'd be like, "Flush me, Jay. Flush me."

Yeah, man, back when you was an agent, you loved getting flushed.

Yeah, you knew. Front and center, worms!

Yeah, you too.

Yeah, you're smiling. Is that the only deneuralyzer?

Years from now, you know what people'll say?

Yes, ma'am, I am. Look here, please.

Yes, Mom, I'm up here with some friends.

Yo! People! We got a bug in the electrical system!

You can't quit on me.

You count every one when you're locked away.

You don't look too good.

You don't remember. We worked together.

You don't want the Light on Earth any more than I do.

You ever heard of James Edwards? No.

You getting big, Jeff. Boy, what you been eating?

You got it, partner. Total silence.

You got it.

You gotta check out the website. It's Jeebsie dot...

You guys want some mini pizzas? They're good.

You have got to stop neuralyzing MiB personnel.

You hid the Light on Earth. I'll find it.

You idiots see anything?

You interrogate the witness and I growl. Grrr!

You know our arrangements. Stay in the E, F and R subway lines

You know what? Move. Move. Okay.

You left yourself clues?

You like egg salad?

You making a scene.

You meet a girl. She's into it. The best line you come up with is:

You need a partner. I had one. Job got too tough.

You need a partner. I'm cool.

You need pie.

You need professional help. He's getting it. It's not working.

You neuralyzed memory of the Light but left yourself clues.

You never checked out a tape.

You never sent it off the planet.

You okay?

You ready, kid? Kid?

You reserved one once, but you never picked it up.

You shouldn't have tried to steal our ozone. Be there in one minute.

You silly little man.

You taste good.

You took me here so I wouldn't make a scene.

You wanna go to Cambodia? Yeah.

You want it, it'll cost you 50 mill. Here's how it'll work. First...

You want to know who you really are, take a ride with me.

You want to look like me when you hit 50...

You were an agent of an organization that monitors aliens on Earth.

You were in a tight spot. I handled it.

You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives.

You win.

You're acting like a rookie . Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.

You're back. No.

You're barking at the moon, moron.

You're between me and my memories. Do you have this deneuralyzer or not?

You're breaking up Zed? Hello?

You're gonna neuralyze me. No, I'm not.

You're just as beautiful as your mother.

You're kidding. The meter's running, Jeebs.

You're mistaken. I work at a pizzeria.

You're nothing special.

You're the boss. Scene of the crime. That's a left.

You're too late. Tomorrow at midnight,

You're welcome.

You've got till midnight.

You've lost, you insignificant speck.

You've wasted 25 years of my time, and for what?

Your attitude makes for a stressful environment.

Your brain needs to reboot.

Your brain's working on old software.

Your flight's been canceled.

Your mentor, the guy who taught you everything you know.

Your ship is ready. Good. Send it to Kyloth now.

Yummy. Someone I need to eat.

Zartha. Yeah, what is it?

Zed! Ah...

Zed? Is that you? I could be Agent Em.

Zed? Look at you.

Zed. Hello?

Zip.

3 minutes to launch. Jay!

1978. Devastating war of Zartha had raged on for 50 years.

1978. The leaders of Zartha flee their planet

...Kind of stupid. Whoa!

Are you wearing a bracelet? Yeah.

Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring

Billions of frequent flier miles. Try and use them.

Hey, guys, wait up! Let me grab my drink!

I don't know what you mean. Listen, Zarthan.

I need your help. This is Laura. Laura!

I'm fine. I'll be there in a minute. No, he won't.

I've been looking everywhere for this. Merciful one! The clock tower!

Jay, where are you? We got flushed.

Jay. Hmm.

Kay! You're back!

Let's go. Boy, you like 40 years old.

Next. Excuse me.

Rectum. Damn near killed him!

The greatest agent in MiB history! Frank! Stop talking.

Then neuralyzed her? What?

This card hasn't been used in years. I've been away on business.

This is it. Hm.

Twenty Rugrats stamps. Elizabeth.

Wait! The commandments! The tablet!

Where is it? We're neutral, remember?

Where's Kay? He's not here! He went...

Where's the Light? Here's the deal.

Whoever you are, don't hurt me. Where's the Light, Ben?

Worms! Sorry.

Yeah, I'll take a... My man? Good to see you, Kay.

...big boy.

"Employee" is spelled wrong? Eh, they charge by the letter.

"Wanna come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"

"We've seen it all. A 600 foot worm! Save us, Mr. Black Man!"