Kung Fu Panda (2008) Edit

A big fat panda who treats it like a joke.

A real warrior never quits.

A real warrior never quits.

A splinter.

About what?

Absolutely not.

According to legend,

Actually, when I was young and crazy,

After you, panda.

Agreed.

All right! Yeah, let's go!

All right.

All right. All right.

All right. You're awesome. Last thing I'm gonna say. Bye bye.

All we can do is resume our training and trust that in time,

Almost there.

Although the future is a little bit frightening.

Although the future is a little bit frightening.

Although the future is a little bit frightening.

Although the future is a little bit frightening.

Although the future is a little bit frightening.

And believe me, citizens, you have not seen anything yet.

And finally Master Tigress!

And he's stuck with you.

And I can control...

And I was saying you got no sense of humor.

And it was my pride...

And may have also stopped his heart.

And now he has a chance to make things right.

And then he turned bad, and now he's in jail.

And this ridiculous belly.

And utter disregard for personal hygiene.

And when the boy showed talent in kung fu...

And you are the only one who can stop him.

And you have done a perfect spilt.

Are they gonna watch, or should I wait till they get back to work?

Are you kidding? If they can't?!

Are your students ready?

Because it was a stupid dream.

Because when you're facing the 10,000 demons of Demon Mountain,

Before Tai Lung.

Before what?

Behold the Dragon Scroll.

Big fan!

Blank. I don't...

Bowed in respect to this great master.

Bring it up!

Buddy, I am the Dragon Warrior.

But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!

But hanging out would have to wait.

But he didn't teach you everything.

But he will.

But how could he?

But how? How?

But I can change you!

But I don't understand. You finally had the noodle dream!

But I'll fix it. Do you have some...

But if you allow it to settle...

But if you insist...

But no matter what you do

But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.

But Oogway saw darkness in his heart and refused.

But sometimes you've got to go And be your own hero.

But that was before.

But there are things we can control.

But today is a gift.

But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do?

But who will stop Tai Lung?

But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power?

But you will have the one thing that no one else does.

But, Dad, didn't you ever want to do something else?

But, Shifu, he'll kill you.

But, yes, you have done...

Can we please go now?

Can you imagine me making tofu?

Careful! That soup is sharp.

Citizens of the Valley of Peace,

Citizens of the Valley of Peace,

Come back!

Come here. The secret ingredient is...

Come on.

Come on. Come on!

Come, little one. Let's find your mama.

Coming!

Crossbows! At the ready!

Crossbows?

Dad, Dad, Dad, it was just a dream.

Developed by Master Wuxi in the Third Dynasty.

Did I scare him off?

Did I step on the wittle kitty's tail?

Do you have a ladder, or a trampoline, or?

Don't cry.

Don't get him mad.

Don't have to. To make something special, you just believe it's special.

Don't stand that close. I can smell your breath.

Don't tell Monkey.

Don't tempt me.

Don't worry, Master. I will never quit!

Done well? Done well?

Dragon Warrior has taken the scroll halfway across China by now.

Dragon Warrior! Dragon Warrior!

Dragon Warrior! Dragon Warrior!

Dragon Warrior...

Ears. It's not working for you? I thought they were pretty good.

Enjoy.

Enough talk. Let's fight!

Escape from Chorh Gom prison is impossible!

Evacuate the valley. You must protect the villagers from Tai Lung's rage.

Even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are you...

Even Mantis has those... thingies.

Everybody is kung fu fighting.

Everybody is kung fu fighting.

Everybody is kung fu fighting.

Everyone! Get to the Jade Palace! One of the Five is gonna get the Dragon Scroll!

Excellent.

Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry.

Finally, a worthy opponent.

Finally!

Finally! Oh, yes.

Fire crossbows!

Fire!

Fly back there and tell them...

Fly to Chorh Gom prison and tell them

For everyone to escape.

From the beginning, you've tried to get rid of me.

From the first moment, I've been...

Go ahead, panda. Show us what you can do.

Go!

Good to be back.

Good to have you back, son.

Good.

Good.

Great.

Guys, guys, I know about Tai Lung.

Guys? Guys?! They're dead!

Have you finished sight seeing?

He believed in him. He told him he was destined for greatness.

He could have killed you.

He is so mighty!

He traveled the land in search of worthy foes.

He tried to take the scroll by force.

He wanted the Dragon Scroll.

He was a student. The first ever to master the thousand scrolls of kung fu.

He was so deadly in fact,

He wasn't meant to be here! It was an accident.

He wasn稚 just a student.

He'll destroy everything and everyone.

He'll...

He'll...

He's gotten stronger.

He's not going to quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

He's not going to quit, is he?

He's quit.

He's too fast!

Hello.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, tough guy, did you hear?

Hey!

Hey! Get out of the way!

Hey! Open the door!

Hi! Good morning, Master!

Hi. You're up.

Him? He's a panda.

Hit it.

Honestly, sometimes I can't believe I'm actually your son.

How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs.

How did I do?

How do you get 5,000... Master Shifu!

How do you know you're not looking at her?

How interesting.

How is Shifu ever going to turn me into the Dragon Warrior?

How?

How?

How's it going?

How's that?

I am very proud to have been your master.

I can turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!

I can't wait to get started.

I cannot make it blossom when it suits me,

I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five.

I could use some good news right now.

I don't have... I just...

I don't know if I can do all of those moves.

I don't know, Dad.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know. I guess that...

I don't know. I was getting a cookie.

I don't understand.

I figured it out. Skadoosh.

I have come home, Master.

I have had a vision.

I have had a vision.

I have... I have always been proud of you.

I have... It's... It's very bad news.

I heard how he fell out of the sky in a ball of fire.

I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.

I know Master Shifu is trying to inspire me and all...

I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you!

I know you're trying to be all mystical and kung fuey...

I know, is here.

I know!

I know. I know. You're right.

I lied. I don't dream about noodles, Dad.

I love kung fu!

I loved you too much to see what you were becoming...

I mean, I didn't actually say that...

I mean, I'm not like the Five.

I mean, you don't belong in the Jade Palace.

I need your help, Master.

I now see that the way to get through to you...

I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu.

I promise you, you're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?

I rotted in jail for 20 years because of your weakness!

I said you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.

I sense the Dragon Warrior is among us.

I stayed because every time you threw a brick at my head

I stayed because I thought, if anyone could change me...

I think there's been a slight mistake. Everyone seems to think that I'm...

I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu.

I thought I'd warm up a little.

I thought you might be Monkey. He hides his almond cookies on the top shelf.

I thought you said acupuncture would make me feel better.

I told you that dream was a sign.

I understand. You eat when you are upset.

I want my scroll!

I was beginning to think I'd been forgotten.

I was just...

I would rather die.

I'll give you a message for your Master Shifu.

I'll tell him that.

I'll tell Shifu he has nothing to worry about.

I'm coming at you with crazy feet.

I'm coming! Wait, wait!

I'm feeling a little nauseous!

I'm glad Shifu sent you.

I'm going to see the Dragon Warrior!

I'm gonna need a lot more than dew and universe juice.

I'm gonna pee.

I'm gonna... stop Tai Lung.

I'm good. I've seen enough.

I'm not a big fat panda.

I'm not dying, you idiot!

I'm over here.

I'm pretty scared.

I'm sorry, brother. I thought you said you were ready.

I'm sorry.

I'm the big fat panda.

I'm...

I've been taking it easy on you, panda. But no more.

I've done awesome!

I've had a long and rather disappointing day, so...

If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.

If you are willing to guide it.

If you can.

Illusion?

In the history of China. In the history of sucking!

Inner peace.

Inner peace.

Inner peace.

Inner...

Inner...

Inner...

Is that what this is? Sorry. I thought it was just a regular peach tree.

Isn't it, Master Oogway?

It is an historic day.

It is his!

It is my great honor to present to you... Tigress!

It is now.

It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months

It is time for you to continue your journey without me.

It is time.

It is yours.

It just wasn't meant to be.

It mattered not how many foes he faced.

It takes years to develop one's flexibility!

It was never enough for Tai Lung.

It was never my decision to make!

It's impossible to open.

It's just not easy finding the right nerve points under all this...

It's just you.

It's just... Man, I'm such a big fan!

It's Master Oogway. He wants to see you.

It's nothing to worry about. It's perfectly safe.

It's nothing!

It's OK. I didn't get it the first time, either.

It's Shifu!

It's the book of your life that you're writing.

It's the book of your life that you're writing.

It's the book of your life that you're writing.

It's the book of your life that you're writing.

It's very impressive.

It's very impressive.

Just like that?

Kablooey!

Legend tells of a legendary warrior...

Let me in!

Let the tournament begin!

Let the tournament begin!

Let us begin.

Let's get started.

Let's go, Po.

Listen to me, all of you.

Listen, Oogway said I was...

Look at that.

Look at this place.

Look, it's the Dragon Warrior.

Look, you don't belong here.

Look!

Mantis!

Master Flying Rhino's armor, with authentic battle damage!

Master Oogway will now choose the Dragon Warrior!

Master Oogway will stop him, like he did before.

Master Oogway, wait.

Master Oogway, you summoned me? Is something wrong?

Master Oogway's choosing the Dragon Warrior! Today!

Master Shifu!

Master Tigress! Face Iron Ox and his Blades of Death.

Master Tigress! I didn't mean to wake you.

Master, are you pointing at me?

Master, let us stop Tai Lung. This is what you've trained us for.

Master, your vision. Your vision was right.

Master!

Master! Master!

Master?

Master.

Master.

Master.

Maybe it's just because You keep on looking at me.

Maybe it's just because You keep on looking at me.

Maybe on three. One, two...

Mine is here, and yours is...

Monkey! Mantis! Orange! Viper! Tigress!

My old friend,

My patience is wearing thin.

My son, finally having the noodle dream!

My tenders.

My time has come.

My whole life I dreamed of...

Nah. This is one of my... Yeah, I'm stuck.

Never be the Dragon Warrior unless you lose 500 pounds and brush your teeth!

Never.

Never.

No need to explain.

No sit ups? No ten mile hike?

No, he doesn't.

No, I mean, how did you get up there?

No, I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room.

No, it was the dream.

No, it's at tables 2, 5, 7, and 12.

No, Master, I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung.

No, no, wait!

No, they're breathing. They're asleep? But their eyes are open.

No, you just need to believe.

No!

No!

No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung.

No! Master! No, no, no, don't die, Shifu, please!

No! We all have our place in this world.

No.

No. I'll bring me back a souvenir.

No. I'm gonna use this.

No. If the panda has not quit by morning

No. Oogway was wiser than us all.

No. There is no such thing as level zero.

Noodles, don't noodles.

Nope.

Not anymore.

Not only do you have to fight But you have got to win.

Not yet we're not. Now!

Not your fault?!

Nothing is impossible.

Nothing!

Nothing.

Now what would it take to break? I believe that you can bend.

Now what would it take to break? I believe that you can bend.

Now, wait a minute. That's uncalled for.

Obeying your master is not weakness!

Of course I'm not the Dragon Warrior. Who am I kidding?

Of course it's Shifu. What do you think I'm doing?

Of my Secret Ingredient Soup.

Oh, come on! Face it, he picked me by accident.

Oh, great, 'cause I am hungry.

Oh, happy day!

Oh, my.

Oh, no! No, no, wait!

Oh, OK, well...

Oh, OK.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you know this hold?

Oh, Zeng.

OK, here goes.

OK, here goes.

OK, OK, take it easy.

OK, yeah. I mean, I just ate. So I'm still digesting.

OK!

OK.

OK.

OK.

OK. All right. Good night.

OK. Come on, baby. Come on now.

OK. Right, right.

OK. So, like...

OK. Sorry.

On nothing but the dew of ginkgo leaf and the energy of the universe.

One must first master the highest level of kung fu.

One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

One thousand guards and one prisoner.

One way in, one way out.

One would think Master Oogway would choose someone who knew kung fu.

Oogway cannot!

Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you,

Oogway痴 giving someone the Dragon Scroll, and it's not gonna be you.

Or even see his toes.

Or I could come at you snickety snake.

Or said I smelled, it hurt, but it could never hurt more

Orange, height. Viper, subtlety. Mantis...

Orange, light the way.

Order up! Hope you like it.

Our battle will be legendary!

Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.

Out it!

Outnumbered a thousand to one, but you didn't stop. You just...

Panda!

Panda...

Perhaps that is my fault.

Po, I'm sorry if things didn't work out.

Po!

Po!

Po! Get up!

Po! Let's go! You're late for work.

Po.

Po. What are you doing up there?

Probably.

Promise me you will believe.

Promise me, Shifu.

Put that down!

Quit, don't quit.

Read it and become...

Read it, Po, and fulfill your destiny.

Really? So how did you get out of there alive?

Really? That's cool.

Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking.

Shifu does. I'm just the messenger.

Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before.

Shifu taught you well.

Shifu, are you OK?!

Shifu.

So for our next shop, it's time to face it...

So where is this Po?

So why are you so upset?

So you could come back and strike fear into our hearts. But it won't work.

So you're the legendary Dragon Warrior?

So, how does this work?

So, I should stop talking?

So, nothing's wrong?

So, that is how it's going to be.

So, you want to get to sleep.

Some day, huh?

Someone like me?

Someone... broke that.

Something besides noodles?

Sorry doesn't make the noodles.

Sorry doesn't make the noodles.

Sorry, Dad.

Sorry, I should have come to you first.

Sorry, Po.

Sorry. A thousand pardons.

Sorry. A thousand pardons.

Sorry. Suck it up!

Stairs.

Step forth.

Stop it!

Stop it. Stop!

Stuck? Nah. What? Stuck?

Sure you were.

Tai Lung does not leave that prison!

Tai Lung has broken out of prison. He's on his way.

Tai Lung is free! I must warn Shifu.

Tai Lung will return.

Take us down.

Tell me how proud you are, Shifu!

Tell me!

Tell me!

Than it did every day of my life just being me.

Thank you, Po.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks, Dad.

That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen.

That his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness.

That hurts.

That is bad news...

That is how it must be.

That is impossible! He is in prison.

That is it!

That is no illusion, Master.

That is why it is called the present.

That kung fu stuff is hard work, right? Are your biceps sore?

That scroll is mine!

That seed will grow to be a peach tree.

That seemed a little awkward.

That was awesome! Let's go again!

That was just an accident!

That's good.

That's my boy!

That's my boy! That big lovely kung fu warrior is my son!

That's what I thought.

The Dragon Scroll.

The Dragon Warrior fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!

The Dragon Warrior.

The Furious Five,

The Furious Five!

The Furious Five!

The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!

The hardest part is cleaning up afterwards.

The Invisible Trident of Destiny!

The journey's a lonely one So much more than we know.

The journey's a lonely one So much more than we know.

The Mark of a true hero is humility.

The only souvenirs we collect here are bloody knuckles and broken bones.

The panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours,

The panda? Master, that panda is not the Dragon Warrior.

The Pool of...

The poor guy's gonna get himself killed.

The power of the Dragon Scroll is mine!

The scroll has given him power!

The secret ingredient of my Secret Ingredient Soup.

The Sword of Heroes!

The Thousand Tongues of Fire.

The true Dragon Warrior will be revealed.

The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!

The whole valley will be there, and you'll sell noodles to all of them.

The Wuxi Finger Hold. Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!

Then he swallowed. And then he spoke.

Then I am your master!

Then I will finally have paid for my mistake.

Then why didn't you quit?! You knew I wanted you gone, yet you stayed.

Then you know what happens when I flex my pinky.

Then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant!

There are no accidents.

There are no accidents.

There are no accidents.

There is no charge for awesomeness.

There is no secret ingredient.

There is now a level zero.

There was once a time when Master Shifu actually used to smile.

There's a saying:

There's only one thing that matters and that's...

They were no match for his bodacity!

They're five masters. I'm just one me.

This battle is between you and me.

This is a sign, Po.

This is no longer your home. And I am no longer your master.

This is the birthplace...

This is the greatest day in kung fu history! Just go!

This is what you trained me for.

This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries...

This is your room.

This will be easier than I thought.

Those are hard!

Those are sensitive in the flabby parts.

Thrice.

Tigress, you need more ferocity! Monkey, greater speed.

Tigress, you've got to try this.

Tigress!

To become the Dragon Warrior?

To believe in it.

To nurture it.

To take his strength and use it against him...

To the Jade Palace.

To train the true Dragon Warrior.

To your battle stations! Go! Go! Go!

Tofu.

Tomorrow is a mystery,

Totally.

Trust me, it will.

Try my Dad's Secret Ingredient Soup. He actually knows the secret ingredient.

Until you let go of the illusion of control.

Upset? I'm not upset. What makes you think I'm upset.

Viper, gather the Southern farmers. Mantis, the north.

Viper! Orange! Monkey! Mantis!

Wait a second!

Wait, wait. It's just plain old noodle soup?

Wait! My fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve.

Wait. No. Oh, peeky hole.

Wait. What happens when I read it?

Want to get something to eat?

Warriors, prepare!

Watch it!

We are noodle folk. Broth runs deep through our veins.

We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

We got big things tomorrow.

We must do something! We can't let him march on the valley, take his revenge!

We should hang out.

We use that for training children and propping the door open when it's hot.

We were no match for his nerve attach.

We'll have a kitchen you can actually stand up in.

We're dead. So very, very dead.

We're not really supposed to talk about him.

We're not trying to stop you.

We've got to get them out safely.

We've waited 1,000 years for this! Take the bowl!

Well done, students... if you were trying to disappoint me.

Well, I didn't say that.

Well, I mean, it's not like you were going anywhere.

Well, I'm not a master, but...

Well, if he's going to stay here, he should know.

Well, if we don't try, we'll never know, will we?

What are you doing here?!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?!

What are you pointing?

What are you? Wait!

What did you do?!

What do we do now, with the panda gone? Who will be the Dragon Warrior?

What do you mean? This is amazing!

What does it look like I'm doing?! Stop!

What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it!

What level is that?

What was I?

What was Master Oogway thinking?

What was that?

What were you dreaming about?

What you got? You got nothing, 'cause I got it right here.

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? I eat when I'm upset, OK?

What? You're serious? And I have to?

What?!

What?!

What's he gonna do about it? I've got him completely immobilized.

When he walks, the very ground shakes!

When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see.

When you concentrate...

When you focus on kung fu,

When you have been trained, you may eat.

Where is it?!

Where'd he go?

Where's the Dragon Warrior?

Who am I to judge a warrior based on his size? Look at me.

Who are you?

Who denied me my destiny?!

Who drove me to train until my bones cracked?!

Who filled my head with dreams?!

Who? Tai Lung? Stronger?

Whomever I choose will not only bring peace to the valley...

Why didn't he?

Why didn't you?

Why is that so hard to see?

Why must something be wrong for me to want to see my old friend?

Work hard, panda, and maybe someday...

Would whoever is making that flapping sound quiet down?!

Would you hit it!

Wow. It is as Oogway foretold.

Yeah, I should probably get to sleep now.

Yeah, I stayed.

Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.

Yeah, so I'm like, "Fine, you may be a wolf,"

Yeah, the Furious Five!

Yeah, we're clear. We're so clear.

Yeah! Excellent.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Glad I had it.

Yeah. What else would I be dreaming about?

Yes, and one I feared I would not live to see.

Yes, except that prisoner...

Yes, I know. You've said that already.

Yes, look at you! This fat butt! Flabby arms!

Yes, Master Oogway.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes.

Yes. And see light in the deepest cave.

Yes. Look at this tree, Shifu.

Yesterday is history,

Yet you are ten feet off the ground.

You actually thought you could learn to do a full split in one night?

You always knew.

You are a natural.

You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient

You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until...

You are the Dragon Warrior.

You are too concerned with what was and what will be.

You can defeat him, panda!

You can't leave me!

You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits.

You could be a work of art If you just go all the way.

You did?

You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?

You don't believe that. You never believed that.

You don't know how long I've been waiting for this moment.

You doubt my prison security?!

You dragged me...

You guys were amazing at the Battle of Weeping River.

You have brought peace...

You heard me. Nothing!

You knew I was the Dragon Warrior.

You like that?

You may be the scariest bandit in Haijin Province...

You must believe.

You must continue your journey without me.

You picking on my friends? Get ready to feel thunder.

You really believe I'm ready?

You think I'm a fool?

You think this is funny?

You want it? Come and get it.

You were about to point at Tigress and that thing fell in front of her!

You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!

You were saying?

You were saying?

You will be gone by morning.

You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior.

You will feel the universe in motion around you.

You?

You...

You...

You'll be later for work!

You're a diamond in the rough A brilliant ball of Clay.

You're a diamond in the rough A brilliant ball of Clay.

You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have

You're a panda. What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?

You're alive.

You're bigger than your action figures. Except, you, Mantis. You're the same.

You're bluffing. You're bluffing. Shifu didn't teach you that.

You're forgetting your noodle cart.

You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.

You're stuck.

You've only seen praying mantis.

Your destiny still awaits.

Your mind becomes fast as lightning.

Your mind becomes fast as lightning.

Your mind becomes fast as lightning.

Your mind becomes fast as lightning.

Your mind becomes fast as lightning.

Your mind is like this water, my friend.

Your next opponent will be me.

Zeng!

Am I?! Are you?!

And attractive. How can we repay you?

Can we run now? Yes.

Do a quadruple back flip? Focus.

Fat? Fur. I was going to say fur.

Focus. Oh, yeah, yeah.