Juno (2007) Edit

A 64 ounce blue Slushee in ten minutes.

A baby's not going to fix everything, besides I don't know

A couple CDs of this weird music.

A couple hours?!

A hotel?

A hundred things of tic tacs in my mailbox?

A legitimate lawyer

A more decisive palette.

A piece of furniture in your weird life.

A tough, tough thing to do.

A traditional closed adoption

About her friggin' boyfriend's pie balls.

Acting like a total a hole.

Actually, she's working late tonight.

Actually...

Ah...

Ah...

All babies

All babies want to get borned.

All babies want to get borned.

All babies want to get borned.

All babies want to...

All I see is pork swords.

All right, all right.

All right, go!

All right, I'm old enough to know when someone's

All right, people,

All right, we have to get you healthy.

All right? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

All right. Bye bye.

All that's missing is your bastard.

All...

Almost there.

Amanda, I told you to go

And a bottle of snow peak peach flavored Boone's.

And a selfless thing for us.

And an arm.

And and the Blair Witch Project was coming on Starz.

And and... what, 30, er, odd weeks,

And be really, really mad and not let you graduate

And despite the fact that your little girlfriend

And don't skip the hairy details.

And dove into the fountain at Ridgedale mall,

And give it to someone that, like, totally needs it.

And give it to you now, I totally would.

And Goth makeup...

And Greece and China apparently.

And hardcore.

And he plays the guitar.

And help out with the science fair...

And her whole house smells like soup.

And I already found the perfect couple.

And I am for shiz up the spout.

And I busted that thing right onstage. It cost me $800

And I didn't want him to get all worried about me.

And I didn't want to, like, marry you?

And I don't contribute.

And I don't feel like talking about it in my fragile state.

And I doubt that she gave you the stink eye.

And I got to go pronto.

And I haven't taken a dump since... Wednesday.

And I know people are supposed to fall in love

And I said I'd keep them updated, so I did.

And I think June bug was a dummy about it, Mac.

And I think we both ought to stick to what we know.

And I thought that it was going to take months, if at all,

And I was gonna go meet with them next weekend.

And I... it's just that I'm not ready to be a mom.

And I'm gonna punch that Bleeker kid in the wiener

And I'm like, "Thanks a heap, coyote ugly.

And I'm sorry I was such a huge bitch to you.

And if so, we should watch it.

And if you told me,

And if you're in love once, you can be in love again

And iguanas and used fitness equipment and stuff.

And it has fingernails!

And no red M&Ms... I hope you're ready.

And pay for that pee stick when you're done.

And rub all this nasty cocoa butter stuff on myself

And she just, like, ripped off her clothes

And she lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona

And she was like, "Oh, hi. Babies have fingernails."

And she was supposed to be, like, really beautiful, but really mean.

And shoot them out at sporting events.

And shove a baby out of your vag for someone else.

And stay with Vanessa?

And surrender any bombs.

And that they're going to Benihana

And that's why he got that look on his face.

And then but, "Oh, no, we should make out instead," la, la, la.

And then go to Vijay's parents' cabin,

And then he burnt me

And then prom and then Vijay's parents' cabin.

And then the friggin' receptionist

And then to the right and to the...

And then, out of nowhere, there it was...

And then, two weeks later, she's on that couch.

And there were these horrible magazines

And there's the feet.

And they have

And they were beautiful even in black and white.

And this, of course, is Juno.

And this... this married couple

And Vanessa's going to be so happy.

And was like, "Bligh, I'm a kraken from the sea!"

And watch lesser people scream.

And we got escorted off the premises.

And we're going to doughnut that flick

And what does it even matter if he's married?

And what happens if you crack the neck?

And you don't even have to be there

And you don't even have to try.

And you know, Paulie is actually great

And you were like, "I haven't seen this since it came out."

And you're acting shockingly cavalier.

And you're gonna have to, like... tell people

And you're not like everyone else.

And your chest is gonna milktate.

And your herb infused juices?

And, besides, they already have three kids.

And, I mean, we could...

And, uh, I don't have the best track record in the world,

And, uh, I mean, you can never have too many of your favorite

And, um, I'm proud to say, we're very happy.

And, you know, we should let it get a...

Anything but this.

Anyway, dude, I'm telling you I'm pregnant,

Apparently. I'm due on May fourth.

Are going to go to Benihana and then go to the prom

Are Mark and Vanessa your friends at school?

Are you going to build a crib out of sticks and spit?

Are you having boy trouble?

Are you honestly and truly going to prom with Katrina De Voort?

Are you jealous?

Are you kidding?

Are you looking for any other type of compensation?

Argento? He's... he's all right.

As boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss.

As he, or she, grows up.

As I got that ultrasound goo off my pelvis.

As she can before the...

As soon as you you're old enough to go, it's so not cool anymore.

At least while my kid's in there.

At this point.

Aw, you... you can't waste those...

Back for another test?

Because at least you don't have to have

Because there was a lot of stuff on TV,

Because you're allergic to their saliva.

Before it gets worse.

Before they reproduce,

Behold, good sir, your future child.

Bleeker decided he didn't want to see the baby.

Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once,

Bleeker's mom was possibly attractive once,

Boring.

Boy, I thought you were the kind of girl

Boy, you really...

Breath and push.

Breathe! Breathe!

Bren, use a dick!

But after Franklin, not Ted.

But he figured it out anyway.

But I guess normalcy isn't really our style.

But I kind of want it to be a surprise.

But I won't be home late.

But I'm going to stop wearing underpants.

But I'm guessing it looks, probably,

But if you go upstairs

But it's breakfast for supper.

But it's Mott The Hoople, so it's still totally rad...

But Keith's hot.

But Lewis is completely demented.

But now he's just your average H VAC specialist.

But now she looks like a hobbit.

But then you're gonna get, like, huge.

But you're old.

But, you know, boys have endured way worse things for nookie.

By a couple of baby starved wing nuts.

Can I take your coat or your hat?

Can I, uh...

Can we make out now?

Can you hear me, baby?

Can you just hold on for a second?

Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?

Can't wait to see what you've got to teach me.

Can't we just, like, kick this old school?

Charisma.

Chick drummer, freaky dude not unlike the White Stripes.

Come here.

Come on in.

Commercials.

Could do that, and let me tell you,

Could I use the facilities first?

Could... could I feel it?

Couldn't do it, Leah.

Cynthia Vogel. Great dance partner.

Dad, either I just peed my pants or, um...

Dad, I think I'm just gonna like... shove out for a sec,

Dad!

Damn skippy, you're not.

Dances are for nerds and squares.

Demanding dessert colored walls.

Did you by any chance barf in my urn?

Did you have a big lunch?

Did you hear that Bleek is going to prom with Katrina De Voort?

Did you hit someone with the Previa?

Did you say you had something to show me?

Did you say you had something to show me?

Did your wife send you up here to spy on me?

Didn't. It's a three way tie between

Different.

Do not call Mr. Connors Keith.

Do you have any bones that need collecting?

Do you know what I mean?

Does it feel like there's something between us?

Don't concentrate so hard.

Don't listen to him.

Don't mock me.

Don't think it's yours just 'cause you marked it

Don't you usually get all that stuff at like a baby shower?

Dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar.

Dude, I think it's best to just tell them.

Dude, I think it's best to just tell them.

Dude, I'm I'm just... I'm ill equipped.

Dude, she's, like, really pretty.

Dude, that thing is freaky looking.

Dude, what are you doing here?

Dude! You got to keep your voice down, okay?

Especially if you're adopting.

Even though it's all, like, 10,000 leagues under the sea.

Ever since then, it's been, like, a ticking clock.

Every guy wants to be a father,

Every time I see you.

Every Valentine's Day.

Everything else just sounds kind of like...

Ew, he's all beardy.

Exactly. Right?

Except for maybe mercy.

Excuse me?

Excuse me?

Excuse me.

Excuse me... I am a sacred vessel,

Fall out! Fall out!

Fine. Call me when you learn how to love someone

Fingernails? Really?

Fingernails.

First things first.

For being so selfless.

For three pregnancy tests?

For Worth's class yet?

For you, Juno, and in a couple years, when you move out,

For your nails, so that's a plus.

Franklin... he was the hot one with the polio?

From one lawn to the other or the one where I downed

From visiting my brother in Mankato.

Gave me the stink eye in art class yesterday...

Geez, Bleek.

Gerta Rauss.

Get a little... get a little cuter.

Get a whiff of those sparklin' top notes.

Girls who, like, play the cello and read McSweeney's

Girls with horn rimmed glasses, and vegan footwear,

Give it up for adoption.

Give me the tape.

Go, Carol.

God appreciates your miracle!

God, Bren, when do I get the friggin' spinal tap thing?!

God, spermie, must you always feed?

God, that little pink plus sign is so unholy.

God, that little pink plus sign is so unholy.

God, that's cool.

God, trust me, you don't.

Good mood, bad mood...

Good, Amanda, I'll be sure to do that.

Good. Call me when you get off the rag.

Got it all planned.

Got mutant sperms; knocked you up twice.

Great.

Great. Everything's stupendous, you know.

Grow up.

Guy just doesn't look right to me.

Handsome, what have you.

Have found true love with each other." Aw.

Have the thing, squeeze it on out and hand it over?

Have you considered that?

Have you ever been to a dance before?

Have you ever felt like you were just born to do something?

Have you found a place to stay yet?

Have you guys thought of any names for the baby yet?

Have you seen the ads for the Titanium Power men's deodorant?

He and my mom got divorced when I was, like, five

He didn't feel like ours.

He had a big meet against Manteno

He is the cheese to my macaroni.

He likes old horror movies

He looks proud.

He shouldn't toy with her emotions like that,

He told me that Katrina's house smells like soup.

He was totally cool with it.

He's going to get there.

He's just being a guy.

He's just got cold feet.

He's the ultimate master of horror.

Heating and air conditioning.

Hello?

Help us complete the circle of love."

Her hands...

Here you go, sir.

Here.

Here's to dovetailing interests.

Hey, big puffy version of June bug.

Hey, Bleek.

Hey, could we give my kid the damn spinal tap already?!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, did you put, like,

Hey, don't forget your bag.

Hey, I'm here for the big show.

Hey, June bug, you know, when this is all over

Hey, Juno.

Hey, look at that.

Hey, man.

Hey, man.

Hey, Paul, are you coming downstairs to eat?

Hey, Su Chin.

Hey, Vijay. How's it going?

Hey, what's up?

Hey, yeah, um,

Hey, you know,

Hey!

Hey.

Hey.

Hi, baby.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi. Mark Loring. I'm the husband.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

His mouth tasted really tangy and delicious.

His name is Mark and, um...

Hmm?

Hmm?

Hold on. What's the matter?

Hon, did you get expelled?

Honestly, who do they think they're fooling?

Honey, had you considered

Honey...

Hot.

How about this one?

How about you, Mark? Are you, uh...

How are you?

How did you even generate enough pee

How do I look?

How do you know that I'm so poisonous, you know?

How do you think of me?

How many months has it been now?

How pregnancy, it can often lead to an infant.

How sure would you say you are?

How to feel about the situation

How you doing?

Huh?

Huh. Oh, God.

I I want things to be perfect.

I actually have something for you. Come here.

I already told you, nothing happened.

I am definitely making you some CDs,

I am not ready to be a Pop Pop.

I bought another Sonic Youth album and it sucks!

I called Gerta Rouse and she said that

I can have friends that are married.

I can just totally picture you dancing

I can think of so many cooler things to do that night.

I can't believe what an idiot I am.

I can't feel anything.

I can't stand in front of the microwave,

I can't wait to meet you.

I can't.

I danced to this at my senior prom.

I decided not to call Bleeker

I didn't do anything.

I didn't even know you were sexually active.

I didn't think he had it in him.

I disagree.

I do.

I don't know, maybe I should I should paint a larger swatch

I don't know.

I don't know. I drank, like, ten tons of SunnyD.

I don't know. It's not seasoned yet.

I don't like Katrina.

I don't really know too much about it.

I don't really know what kind of girl I am.

I don't think people know...

I don't want them to be shitty and broken

I don't want you to get ripped off

I doubt anyone's going to throw us a shower.

I ended up staying for a couple hours.

I even saw its phalanges today.

I felt him!

I flagged the daddy chapters. They're...

I found it in Japan when I was there with my band.

I got 'em! You got Liberty Bell?!

I got it. I got it.

I guess Bleeker went live that night we did it, I guess,

I guess do whatever you think you should do, you know?

I have a son.

I have heartburn that is radiating my kneecaps,

I have no choice.

I have Pellegrino or vitamin water or...

I have sacrificed a lot

I have to actually wear a frickin' bra now

I have to wait for it to get worse?

I heard he asked her.

I heard that was you.

I I need an abortion.

I just drove to St. Cloud to show Mark and Vanessa the ultrasound.

I just see a lot of teenage mothers come through here.

I just want someone a little more edgier.

I just want the baby to be with people who are gonna love it

I just wanted to call and say hi.

I just, like, I don't want to give the baby

I just... I need to know that it's possible

I just... I want...

I know enough.

I know it wasn't, like, your idea.

I know we're prepared.

I know, but...

I know, right?

I know.

I know.

I know.

I love it!

I love Woody Allen.

I mean, despite the fact that well, I'm in a fat suit

I mean, gunk,

I mean, have you ever smelled her?

I mean, I drink tons of booze,

I mean, I I'm in high school.

I mean, I miss like... just hanging out with you

I mean, maybe LB did it.

I mean, once Tino gets the new drumhead,

I mean, that must be, like, a bitch to...

I mean, the sex,

I mean, they wouldn't even be holding hands.

I mean, what would the Melvins say?

I mean, you know, I got stuff in boxes.

I mean, you know, you broke my heart.

I mean... you guys are supposed to take care of this, you know?

I might go to Bren's dumb Unitarian Church.

I need you to fill these out, both sides,

I never realize how much I like being home

I never said I'd be a good father.

I put my hands down here.

I see them all the time in the PennySaver.

I should be really cheesed off.

I still... I have your virginity.

I swiped it from Miss Ransick's lawn.

I think he was always hers.

I think I can smell your hair a burnin'.

I think I'm in love with you.

I think it looks like my friend Paulie.

I think it's 'cause my heart starts pounding

I think it's too early to paint.

I think kids get bored and they have intercourse.

I think pregnancy's beautiful.

I think that's a great idea.

I think the first one was defective.

I think we should be cool, you know?

I think you definitely bring something to the table.

I think you're beautiful.

I thought you said you didn't care what he did.

I tried to work on it a little last night,

I tried to work on it a little last night,

I try really hard, actually.

I want a parakeet.

I want to be a mommy so badly.

I was born to be a mother.

I was gonna go to Gettysburg with Bleeker anyway.

I was just shopping, you know, with my girlfriends, and...

I was there, like, four years ago for a birthday party.

I was thinking I could, like, have this baby

I was thinking I'd just nip it in the bud

I was thinking more like... graphic designer, mid 30s,

I wish my fun bags would get bigger.

I work mostly from home. I'm a composer.

I would never barf in your urn, Brenda.

I, uh, I think I'm pretty much set

I... But maybe I could, you know, drop by later.

I... I have something really cool to show you guys.

I... I just like being

I... I should be royally ticked off at you, you know.

I... I'm just calling to procure a hasty abortion.

I'll be right back.

I'll have a little trip down Mexico way.

I'll have a Maker's Mark, please. Up.

I'll just, like, ruin everything.

I'll make a note of it.

I'll save you a seat.

I'll see you at school, all right?

I'll sit down.

I'll tell her.

I'm a junior.

I'm a planet.

I'm a suicide risk.

I'm an ultrasound technician, ma'am.

I'm giving you and Vanessa the gift of life...

I'm glad you're here.

I'm going to get Weimaraners.

I'm going to say I'm about 104% sure.

I'm gonna kick your little monkey butt.

I'm gonna say it's been about, um...

I'm gonna start looking like a pretty big dork soon.

I'm gonna...

I'm in a great mood.

I'm just allergic to fine home furnishings.

I'm just having a ginseng cooler.

I'm just saying that this is...

I'm just wondering if...

I'm just, like, losing my faith with humanity.

I'm leaving Vanessa.

I'm never going to be a mother.

I'm not crying,

I'm not... I'm not asking for anything.

I'm off pills.

I'm on my hamburger phone.

I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant.

I'm ready.

I'm really good at defusing mom type rage.

I'm really good at defusing mom type rage.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm staying pregnant, Leah.

I'm supposed to be running.

I'm supposed to come get you at 4:00.

I'm thinking if this is the right thing.

I'm thinking more custard.

I'm Vanessa. You must be Juno.

I'm your...

I'm, I'm sure you two will have, like, a real bitchin' time.

I've actually heard that

I've been listening to that

I've been thinking.

I've been thinking...

I've been with your stepmother for ten years now,

I've ever seen.

I've taken, like, three pregnancy tests,

If I have to wait for you to become Kurt Cobain,

If I'm even ready to be a father.

If you have any questions, call me at my office.

In chair.

In like St. Cloud, they're... they're going to be the parents.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person

In the event of my expulsion.

In the front of my jeans.

In this garbage dump of a situation.

In this real tight band when I lived in Chicago, and this

In your whole house for your... for your stuff?

Incidentally, they do incredible things

Instead of cheat at your brother's college

Into, like, the perfect cheerleaders, you know?

Is he also bald and amorphous?

Is she all right?

Is something wrong with the baby?

Is that a Les Paul?

Is that a Les Paul?

Is the best flavor of Boone's.

Is this a pregnant superhero?

Is this for real? Like, for real for real?

Is trying to get me to take these condoms

Is Vanessa here?

Is Vanessa here?

Is Vanessa, like, mad at you because of me or something?

Is your nipples real brown?

Isn't that great?

Isn't that right, Bleek?

Isn't that what you girls call it... skanky?

Isn't that, like, a little... gay?

It can feel pain.

It does?

It doesn't work that way, kiddo.

It ended with a chair.

It means they'd send annual updates, photos,

It reminds me of you.

It smelled like a dentist's office in there.

It was crazy actually.

It'd be pretty easy

It's a Pilates machine.

It's a wise choice.

It's all the rage right now, supposedly.

It's amazing that there's actually saps

It's an option.

It's beautiful.

It's called "nesting."

It's called a "collaborative divorce."

It's called a spinal block,

It's crazy, but I'm a legend, you know.

It's for exercising.

It's for me.

It's just noise.

It's just noise.

It's just some stuff I picked up for the baby.

It's just, I know Bleek doesn't like Katrina, you know.

It's like never ending, pretty much, you know.

It's me.

It's me.

It's not moving for me.

It's okay, you know... it's okay.

It's probably got something to do

It's probably just a food baby.

It's probably tougher than you can understand right now.

It's really complicated, okay?

It's really easy to tell.

It's the right size and everything.

It's your favorite, Paul.

It's, like, critically important.

It's, uh, Vanessa, right? Is that...

It's... it's Paulie Bleeker.

It's... it's, like, totally legit.

It's... no, it's actually,

Jocks like him always want freaky girls...

June bug, that is

Junk, huh?

Juno MacGuff called while you were out running today.

Juno MacGuff.

Juno wanted a little closer look at Kimber.

Juno was nice enough to bring that over for us today.

Juno,

Juno, I'm coming with you to meet this... adoption couple.

Juno, you can't just drop in on them like that.

Juno, you're totally not even listening to me.

Juno!

Juno?

Juno? What's going on?

Juno. Wow! I didn't expect to see you here.

Just 'cause they help out women now.

Just a little hormonal.

Just because you had four Smirnoff Ices

Just came up to get something.

Just do not divorce your wife.

Just listen.

Just look these over.

Just one of her many genetic gifts.

Just tell it to me straight, Bren.

Just to get it fixed.

Just with this light.

Just wondering if it's...

Just wondering if we're ready.

Just, um...

Katrina?!

Katrina's not my girlfriend, all right?

Keep it in the oven.

Keep us updated on any doctor's appointments

Keith's been grading me, like, so hard lately.

Kicking... kicking away.

Kind of looks like it's waving, you know.

Kudos.

Legal counsel?

Let Juno know how the baby is doing.

Let's talk about how we're gonna do this thing.

Liberty Bell, if you put

Like a new mom.

Like a sea monkey right now,

Like a total dork.

Like Diana Ross.

Like free iPods.

Like Gene Simmons or Mother Teresa.

Like I'd marry you? You'd be the meanest wife ever,

Like in the good old days, when it was quick and dirty.

Like it's saying...

Like Johann Brahms or...?

Like Leah, who, incidentally, is into teachers.

Like my friend, Leah, who's been with the same guy,

Like the baby's going to come storming in here

Like the city in Alaska.

Like this ever since I got back

Like what?

Like what? Be a rock star?

Like you're the one who has to get huge

Like, four different times.

Like, it would be friggin' sweet if no one hit me.

Like, what if these adoptive parents

Like, you know what, Bleek? I might pumice my feet.

Like... Would you say you're 80% sure,

Listen, Brenda...

Listen, I talked

Look, I just drank my weight in SunnyD

Look, I'll have the baby,

Look...

Looking forward to being a dad?

Mac, you know that nice urn by the front door,

Mac. Come on.

Madison?

Magnificent.

Mall madness, huh?

Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption.

Mark is a married man.

Maybe Gerta could take us through

Maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know,

Maybe they'll do a far shittier job of raising a kid

Me and some guys are going to go to the movies after school,

Me neither.

Me, too!

Mind you, that's just, like, a guesstimation.

Mine, too.

Minus or plus?

Mm hmm.

Mm hmm.

Mm. "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple

Mmm! Uh huh. Mmm hmm.

Mmm. Betcha.

Morning.

Most Fruitful Yuki.

Mr. MacGuff, hi.

Must be, like, a pity date or something.

Must have looked at your face.

My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse.

My dad used to be in the army,

My girlfriends tell me

My mom is inside.

My mom uses colorsafe bleach.

My stepmom verbally abused the ultrasound tech

My stepmom, Bren, makes me eat super healthy, you know?

Nah. I mean, I'm already pregnant,

Neither did I really.

Nesting?

Next time I see him.

Next to the exotic birds.

Nice legs.

Nice to meet you both.

No matter what kind of pickle you're in.

No shit?

No, I can call myself.

No, I don't want to, you know, sell the thing.

No, I don't, I mean,

No, I don't, Juno.

No, I heard you.

No, I mean, in your pregnancy.

No, I'll handle this.

No, I'll handle this.

No, I'm... I'm off sex right now.

No, it... it was not a big deal.

No, it's Morgan Freeman.

No, it's not a hotel, it's a loft.

No, it's not.

No, Josh, because I don't take orders,

No, no, Juno...

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. They're the adoptive parents.

No, no, you know what, Mark...

No, not yet.

No, seriously, if I could just have the thing,

No, thanks.

No, the school would most likely contact you

No, there it is.

No, this is not a food baby, all right?

No, way, no, he doesn't like Katrina.

No, you can't have any.

No, you definitely... can't do that.

No?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No. He's the dad.

No. I guess not.

No. I mean, for real.

No. More commercial stuff.

No. No, no. The act was premeditated.

No... you see, my dad went through this huge obsession

Not jealous, don't care.

Not looking.

Not much. I just... wanted to come say hey.

Not the whole, like, let's get pregnant thing.

Not to interrupt the jam session, but...

Nothing.

Now you're acting like you're the one

Now, this is where I keep all my old comics,

Nuh uh!

Obviously we

Obviously.

Of the PennySaver Lorings?

Of you dating in your condition.

Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus

Oh, and then Su Chin was there. Yeah.

Oh, and we need to schedule a doctor's appointment.

Oh, and you know what?

Oh, bag.

Oh, but I do need your help with something.

Oh, come on! I mean, it's like...

Oh, come on.

Oh, coming in on that snooze button.

Oh, dream big.

Oh, go fly a kite!

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, how about some tuneage?

Oh, I could so go for, like, a huge cookie right now

Oh, I couldn't copy your work.

Oh, I'm not that young. Okay, I'm 16.

Oh, it kind of does.

Oh, it... sounds awesome, but I got my ultrasound.

Oh, it's beautiful!

Oh, it's honing in on eight.

Oh, just out dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

Oh, Liberty Bell. Oh, sweetie, sweetie, sweetie!

Oh, my God, it's like Lipton Landing.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, no, thank you. Thank you.

Oh, please.

Oh, right.

Oh, right. I hear these are quite the time suck.

Oh, shit!

Oh, shit! Uh, excuse me!

Oh, that's hilarious.

Oh, they just... you know, they wanted to know about the stuff

Oh, well, I'll sell you some of my Adderall, if you...

Oh, what're you talk...

Oh, wicked pic in the PennySaver, by the way.

Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the Carpenters.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That supposed to make me feel... happy?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was me.

Oh, you think you're so special

Oh, you're lucky it's not you.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Hi, Juno.

Oh. Oh, my God, it totally does.

Oh. Well, thank goodness for that.

Oh. Wow.

Oh...

Oh... were we together?

Okay, take care.

Okay? And I know that you weren't bored that day,

Okay? We're talking about buckets of goo.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Cool.

Okay...

On school nights, you know.

On your terms.

One calorie breath mints.

One more Bac O on that potato,

One night we opened up for the Melvins,

Only the one in my pants.

Ooh, Juno.

Ooh, what, 'cause I got bored and had sex with you

Ooh, yum.

Ooh. Do you hear that?

Oprima el n�mero dos.

Or 90% sure or...?

Or a couple nice lesbos.

Or go to Cabo for spring break.

Or is this some sort of permanent state ofbeing?

Or just try it on a different wall...

Or maybe they'll, like, totally shit

Or ultrasounds or anything of that nature,

Or you can wait a few more months.

Or, like, stage parents?

Or?!

Orange juice with...

Orange tic tacs are Bleeker's one and only vice.

Other than... I mean, it has fingernails,

Our first family photo right in the middle.

Out of the way! Out of the way!

Over to your house.

Ow, ow, fuckity, ow!

Owns a nail salon

Paulie Bleeker has just broken a district record...

Paulie Bleeker?

Phuket, Thailand.

Please put your hands where I can see them

Please! Dario Argento is so the ultimate master of horror.

Precious in comparison.

Probably not, but...

Quite frankly, this looks a little stupid.

Raise my sperm count.

Raise my sperm count.

Really seem to be getting, uh, pregnant er these days.

Really weird CD that you made me.

Really?

Right next to, like, terriers

Right up there.

Right, Juno?

Right?

Right? Seriously.

Right.

Right. Go learn something.

Right. I wanted to pick something that was gender neutral

Right. This is no laughing matter.

Scared shitless.

Scratch your vag on the way out

See ya.

See ya.

Send it your way, like Moses in the reeds?

Send it your way, like Moses in the reeds?

Seriously.

She can represent both of us.

She doesn't know that we're sexually active.

She gave you your own room in... in... in...

She had this, like, crazy freak out

She hates when I sit around and I watch movies

She smells like soup.

She thinks I'm using a fake name,

She's assaulting me.

She's completely obsessed with dogs,

She's denying me fresh baked goodness.

She's just...

She's kidding.

She's not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.

She's totally going to, like, steal that little kid for her collection.

She's trying to accrue as much time off

Shirt's working hard.

Shit. Yes.

Should everyone just have a mysterious name like Juno?

Should I come, you think?

Should've seen this octopus furnace at work.

Silencio, old man!

Smell like pie.

So find your partners and break into groups of four.

So guess what?

So I can't really look at bright lights today.

So I remain unconvinced.

So I'm not really sure how I'm gonna spit this out.

So I'm not really sure how I'm gonna spit this out.

So we have custard and cheesecake.

So what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?

So what was it like humping Bleek's bony bod?

So who's ready

So you can just copy my answers if you...

So you might end up with one of those scary neuter babies

So you were bored?

So you're cool with that then?

So you're into your second trimester.

So, are you going to go to Havenbrook or Women Now?

So, did you... did you write that paper

So, I just thought I'd...

So, it was cool. He's kind of cool.

So, Juno, first off, how far along are you?

So, Juno, how was your little maneuver last night?

So, like... I don't know, my skin won't explode.

So, um,

So, when did you decide

So...

Some of us are.

Somebody else is gonna find a precious blessing from Jesus

Sorry, how long have I been what?

Sorry. I didn't expect to see you up here.

Stop it. For God's sake, stop it.

Stop surfing porn and get back to work.

Stuff in there this morning.

Super classy, not like those people

Sure. The downstairs bathroom's being retiled,

Sweet angel?

Sweet. Yeah, uh,

Take a look.

Take some of these.

Technically, that would be kicking it Old Testament.

Tell me about it. I used to play

Th this, this... this is how we did it in '88.

Than going to prom with you.

Than my dumb ass stepdaughter ever would.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child

Thanks for making the call, I guess.

Thanks, Dad.

Thanks?

That ain't no Etch A Sketch.

That cry at this.

That I can't take off and despite the fact

That I was searching for on the first take.

That I, like, deactivate someday?

That is Herschell Gordon Lewis.

That it feels a little like bad timing.

That look like g**** suckers.

That pretty much everyone's making fun of me behind my back

That suits you.

That the first couple of months are the hardest.

That two people can stay happy together forever.

That was kind of the emotion

That was magical.

That was my first instinct, too, or a DWI.

That was once, and she did not die, if you recall.

That you were going to, uh, do Bleeker?

That you're pregnant.

That you're pregnant.

That, like, elastic band, you know,

That's a relief.

That's all I could ask for.

That's amazing.

That's appealing to you?

That's born without junk.

That's great. That's marvelous.

That's gruesome. Do you think the baby could all like

That's her.

That's how this blessed miracle came to be?

That's just her face.

That's just... the way her face looks, you know.

That's my opinion.

That's my stepmom, Bren.

That's one big, fat sack of... no!

That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

That's what happens when our moms and teachers get pregnant.

That's what you think.

That's... that's not what it's about, it...

The baby starts kicking super hard.

The baby? I don't really know much about it

The baby's great.

The books all say the same thing.

The day I got pregnant,

The doctor can.

The doctor said you're not dilated enough.

The evidence under your sweater.

The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me.

The one I got up in Stillwater?

The one where I move an entire living room set

The plus sign looks more like a division symbol,

The preliminary documents that you've drawn up.

The prep questions for this lab last night.

The right person is still gonna think the sun shines out your ass.

The right person's still gonna think

The snow peak peach flavor

The Stooges, Patti Smith and the Runaways.

The volcano goes off... I don't know.

The Wizard of Gore?

There are boundaries.

There he was.

There is no way that they're having sex.

There was some blue shit...

There we go.

There you go.

There's a hand.

There's fake brains coming out the yin yang.

There's just some things that I still want to do.

There's your baby.

They call me the cautionary whale.

They could be utterly negligent.

They haven't had, you know,

They just won't admit it because they're supposed to be

They pretty much just put them in those T shirt guns

They sound like a freakin' cult is what they sound like.

They were Mark and Vanessa Loring,

They're boysenberry.

They're gonna pay for the medical expenses and everything.

They're not bad, though.

They've been trying to have a kid for, like, five years.

Third test today, mama bear.

This cactus gram stings even worse than your abandonment. "

This is even better than Suspiria.

This is Gerta Rauss, our, um, attorney.

This is my favorite song.

This is one doodle that can't be undid, home skillet.

This is something I've been wanting to do for a long time.

This is something that's never going to happen.

This is Sonic Youth doing "Superstar" by the Carpenters.

This looks like a bill from Jun...

This song is older than I am, if you can believe it.

This wall is going to need something.

This? This is what my life has become.

Those doughnut holes there.

Though, I should... I should probably bounce.

Thundercats are go!

To a family that describes themselves as "wholesome."

To Dad and Bren and they said they wouldn't narc you out to your folks, so...

To give Liberty Bell her breathing meds.

To prove your point.

To raise a baby in.

To tell him that I was having the baby.

To the infirmary and lie down.

To the raw power of Iggy and The Stooges,

Tony Little "Gazelles" off the TV.

Took me yesterday to the doctor, and they said I was 12 weeks.

Tore up from the floor up?

Turn out to be, like, evil molesters?

Two months and four days since the sex.

Two people can stay together for good.

Typically, yeah, yeah.

Ugh, I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active."

Ugly, pretty...

Uh huh, I'm really convinced.

Uh, Bleeker home?

Uh, hi.

Uh, how about this?

Uh, I'm more concerned about when they have to put

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Uh, sort of, yes.

Uh, wait,

Uh... nope.

Uh... Whoa!

Uh... yeah.

Um, a bunch of us from the team

Um, I did

Um, Juno, do you want to plug in the Bunsen burner?

Um, okay, this one is actually kind of slow,

Um, well, actually my stepmom

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um...

Um... I can't.

Um... I rock a Harmony.

Unfortunately, yes.

Unfortunately, yes.

Unless I've been somewhere really different for a while.

Until college on the tic tac front.

Vanessa and I aren't in love anymore.

Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff.

Vanessa likes Madison for a girl.

Vanessa Loring.

Vanessa, what, what brings you to the mall today?

Vanessa's wanted a baby ever since we got married.

Very hot.

Wait a minute.

Wait a second. Why aren't you at work?

Wait, hold on.

Wait, Juno,

Wait, wait, let me get your bag.

Want to get borned.

Wants to coach the soccer team

We actually hung out this afternoon.

We can just pretend that this never happened.

We could always get back together, too.

We definitely want it to have some junk. Please.

We don't even have a dog.

We found them in the PennySaver

We need to know about every score and every sore.

We should get the band back together.

We still have a lot of stuff to go over and do.

We still have...

We we we're getting a stretch limo.

We went through a situation before

We would really appreciate if you would just, you know,

We, uh, we watched The Wizard of Gore

We're best friends.

We're doing chromatography lab today.

We're gonna have a baby! Yeah! Here we go!

We're just, like, ready to rock.

We're ready. We've read the books.

We've have a nursery

We've taken all the classes.

Welcome to Women Now, where women are trusted friends.

Well, aren't you the cool guy.

Well, Bren took Liberty Bell to her tot ice skating class.

Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God

Well, how are you feeling?

Well, I imagine you've got a collection of punk chestnuts

Well, I mean, the guy... he's awesome.

Well, I still have your underwear.

Well, I thought I'd get some drinks.

Well, I was just asking.

Well, I... I stole a squirt of your wife's perfume.

Well, I'm a nail technician,

Well, I'm gonna set up the apparatus.

Well, I'm sorry I had sex with you.

Well, it can only go one of two ways.

Well, it's cute.

Well, it's good seeing you, Su Chin.

Well, it's not easy, that's for sure.

Well, like...

Well, no, I want Mark and Vanessa to be surprised,

Well, share the love, sweetie.

Well, then... we all agree?

Well, there you have it.

Well, there's nothing like experimenting.

Well, well, if it isn't MacGuff the crime dog.

Well, well, if it isn't MacGuff the crime dog.

Well, what have you done, June bug?

Well, you are kind of convex, you know.

Well, you could have mailed it to them.

Well, you know where the lavatory is.

Well, you know, I was just...

Well, you know, they're your fave,

Well, you should read the book.

Well, you should try talking to it,

Well, you were in love when you married her.

Well, you're doing a beautiful

Well, Yuki is a real bad ass.

Well... consider it your musical education.

Were there.

What a trip, huh?

What about Katrina De Voort?

What about the parking stickers?

What are you going over there in the first place?

What are you saying?

What are you?

What can I do for you?

What did you do?

What do you make with it?

What do you mean, don't I just

What do you play?

What does it even mean?

What does that even mean?

What does that mean?

What is it with you rich people

What isn't set?

What should we do... about...?

What to Expect says that readying the baby's room

What would anyone like?

What would be a good time for you, Mark?

What, are you ashamed that we did it?

What, do you need a large amount of money?

What?

What?

What?

What?

What? I don't know.

What? I'm not made of stone.

What? No.

What? Why?

What?!

What?! Honest to blog?

What... what did you say your favorite band was?

What'd I tell you?

What's another ten pounds?

What's eating you?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's that?

What's the matter?

What's the prognosis, fertile Myrtle?

When I see them all running like that

When will you guys learn that tots can't ice skate?

When you're used to listening

Where is everybody?

Where it didn't work out.

Where the hell have you been, June bug?

Where you been?

Which maneuver, sir?

Who has to go through this.

Who is the father, Juno?

Who is the kid?

Who loves you for exactly what you are.

Who'd you dance with?

Who's been doing their geometry homework for once?

Whoa uh!

Whoa, Mark, is this the baby's room?

Whoa, whoa. No, no, no, no, no.

Whoa!

Whoa! Check out Baby Big Head!

Whoa.

Whoa. So... so when was that? Was that, like...?

Whose idea was it?

Whose idea was it?

Why are you crying?

Why can't I just have the friggin' thing now?

Why is everyone always staring at me?

Why would you drive an hour out to East Jesus Nowhere?

Why wouldn't they throw you a baby shower?

Why?

Why?

Wicked tiger.

Will you please just do me a solid

With Roman and Greek mythology.

With those 44 packs they come in.

With water stains.

With, like, a lamb kebab simultaneously.

Wizard.

Would be best for all involved.

Would compensate you for all your medical expenses.

Would you like a free condom?

Would you like one?

Would you like to know the sex?

Would you like to meet your son?

Would you look at that?

Would you shut up?

Wow, can you narrow that down for me?

Wow, pretentious much?

Wow, what are they like?

Wow, what kind of swag did you score?

Wow, your shorts are, like, especially gold today.

Wow. It's incredible.

Wow. She's got you on a long leash there, Mark.

Y... okay, yeah, now I can...

Yeah, 'cause Bleek trusts me, you know.

Yeah, and I think I've found that person.

Yeah, but I was hoping she was expelled or into hard drugs.

Yeah, but I'm gonna

Yeah, but maybe they'll, like, canonize me

Yeah, cold feet.

Yeah, I came as soon

Yeah, I did ask her if she wanted to go.

Yeah, I have a menstrual migraine,

Yeah, I I know, um... no, I'm going to go to Women Now

Yeah, it's just, like, really awkward to talk on.

Yeah, like... people in love.

Yeah, maybe your little boyfriend's

Yeah, my wife ordered one of those, uh...

Yeah, sure you have... your dear old D A D.

Yeah, we were once, you know... that... that time.

Yeah, we're ready.

Yeah, well, thanks.

Yeah, what... You you just take Soupy Sales to prom.

Yeah, what's the verdict?

Yeah, yeah, and it, there's this couple

Yeah, yeah, Wizard, I mean, you know, just,

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. All that.

Yeah. I mean, that would be... that would be awesome.

Yeah. Um... hey, Gerta's downstairs.

Yeah. What is your job title exactly?

Yeah. Yeah, it's Bleeker's.

Yeah. Yeah. No. I... I like you guys. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, its parts.

Yeah. You want to come on in?

Yep.

Yes, it is.

Yes.

Yo, yo, yo giddy, yo.

You are something else.

You copy my work every week.

You could go into early labor sucking face like that.

You could totally go out with Katrina De Voort.

You couldn't understand the magic.

You don't deserve it.

You don't know anything about me.

You don't know squat about the dynamics of marriage.

You don't make anything.

You don't need to worry about a thing.

You don't say.

You don't stare at my stomach all the time.

You don't think that I'm going to flake out on you?

You don't understand.

You found us in the PennySaver?

You have decent taste in slasher movies.

You have no reason to be mad at me.

You haven't heard the Carpenters like this.

You just, you just take Katrina the douche packer to prom.

You just...

You know how I feel about her.

You know I'll always be there to love you and support you

You know it wasn't his idea.

You know the fat one that was in The Goonies?

You know,

You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies

You know, and while Mark and I were waiting for Vanessa,

You know, Bleek, I was thinking...

You know, from the guy with the ponytail?

You know, heavy lifting can really only help you

You know, heavy lifting can really only help you

You know, I always loved Gibson more than Fender. Like, just...

You know, I set up this whole private adoption,

You know, I'm underground.

You know, like, a woman with a bum ovary

You know, like, I I stick the baby in a basket

You know, pretty solid.

You know, they're just like greedy little bitches.

You know, we put the ad in the paper

You know, why are you over here?

You know, with a cool Asian girlfriend who, like,

You know. I mean...

You know...

You know... the alternative?

You look at my face, and every time I see you,

You mean, as friends?

You mean, like couples?

You need prenatal vitamins.

You never listen.

You okay?

You should feel happy, homes.

You should grow a mustache.

You should have gone to China.

You should look at adoption ads.

You should see how weird I look naked.

You shouldn't be carrying...

You sound, like, totally shocked or something.

You still going to think I'm cute when I'm huge?

You think this is my fault?

You think you're really going to do this, then?

You want to come?

You want to know how your kid's a cookin'. I get it.

You were talking about me, right?

You weren't even alive!

You weren't there.

You're a little Viking.

You're being really immature.

You're crazy.

You're gay?

You're getting huge.

You're golden, man.

You're looking a little morose, honey.

You're mad. Why are you mad?

You're not gonna be a Pop Pop.

You're one of those guys?

You're playing music.

You're pregnant?

You're quite the sellout, Mark.

You're so young.

You're thinking about adoption?

You're, like, naturally smart,

Your baby probably has a beating heart, you know.

Your book feel apart.

Your Eggo is prego, no doubt about it.

Your guitar is named Kimber?

Your mom must be pretty stoked that you're not taking me.

Your parents are probably wondering where you are.

Your shirt is stupid.

Yum! This pretzel tastes like a friggin' donut.

93. Best time for rock n roll.

♪ I'll tell you that I love you ♪ Aah!

♪ It sounds so sweet and clear... ♪ Yeah. Yeah, I like this.

Aah! ♪And I'll tear your world apart ♪

Ah! Oh!

allegedly. Nails? Really.

Come on! Tic tac ahoy!

Did you hear? Juno MacGuff's pregnant. Yeah.

Do you have the admittance form? Got 'em!

Don't do that. What?

He's... he's going to get there. It happened so fast.

Hells, yeah! Yeah.

Hey, seriously... Hey, Mark, where are you?!

Hi. Hi, Juno.

Hi. Wow. Hi.

Hopefully, we'll hear from you soon. Thank you.

Huh. And I want to show you one.

I don't know any guy with a yellow bedroom. It's for babies.

I got a bunch... All right, don't look. N�mero trois.

I got some stuff... Hey, Vanessa.

I know what junk is. Yeah, right.

I thought you'd be cool with this. Cool?

if it's not too much... No. Right. For sure.

in, uh... Okay.

Is it mahogany? Yeah.

Is this my fault? No.

It's my pleasure. I'm going to the infirmary.

Juno, hey. Hey, Bleek.

Juno. What's going on? Oh, nothing.

Like our moms and teachers. Yeah.

Like this? Just like this.

Mac MacGuff. Nice to meet you. Hi.

No, Dad, it's not... I mean, that's pretty skanky.

No. No?

No. Oh, please, just ignore her.

not from you and not from any man. You've been acting

Oh, my God. What?

Oh! Oh!

Oh! It's you. Sorry.

Oh. Yeah.

Oh... It's your baby.

Please, Juno. Please! No. Definitely no. There's no sex.

Right? That's great.

She let me put my hands all over her butt. Hot.

Skivvy? Please stop.

So he decided to name me after Zeus' wife. I got it.

So, it's... Really?

Thank you. All right. You take care.

Thank you. Yeah.

that is completely... Vanessa.

That's good. Keep pushing.

Tuneage? Yeah.

What are you doing here? What's wrong? I went to the doctor today.

What is the matter? Wh... di... I...

What? You know, I've just...

What?! Getting a place in the city.

What?! Punk, volume number one!

when it comes out all covered in, um... Viscera.

Why? Well, I don't know,

Yeah. That's cool. My ax is named Roosevelt,

Yeesh. That sounds great.

Yes. No.

You do? Yeah.

You got it? Got it.

You, too. Please drive carefully.

You're just not trying hard enough. I'm such an idiot.

'77! Are you...?

'cause all those things would be exponentially cooler

'Cause being pregnant makes me pee like Seabiscuit.

'Cause I called for Becky last year.

'Cause I got to be honest, I don't really much approve

'Cause my barf reflex is really heightened these days.

'cause she seems pretty nice.

'cause she took too many behavioral meds at once.

'Cause they were talking about, in health class,

'cause we don't have any children.

'cause you get to play picture pages up there?

'Cause you know you need a note from your parents

'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met,

'cause, like, supposedly they can hear you

"A woman becomes a mother when she gets pregnant.

"Educated, successful couple seeking

"Hey, Vanessa, will you be my mom?"

"infant to join our family of five.

"It's cute"?

"You will be compensated.

♪ ...he didn't want a ride ♪

♪ ...How much... ♪

♪ ...I love you ♪

♪ ...really want to ♪

♪ ...that I recommended, even if he didn't... ♪

♪ 'Cause he gets up in the morning ♪

♪ 'Cause his world is built on punctuality ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't have my fangs ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't have my mouth again ♪

♪ 'Cause I have lost my fangs ♪

♪ 'Cause I like to be gone most of the time ♪

♪ 'Cause I like to be gone most of the time... ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm made out of glue ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm made out of glue ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what they expect ♪

♪ A fish that has a secret wish ♪

♪ A fish that has a secret wish ♪

♪ A little bowl of brunch? ♪

♪ A trail for the devil to erase... ♪

♪ A wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it ♪

♪ Achieve my dreams ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you be my bride? ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you be my bride? ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you be my bride? ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you stay with me? ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you stay with me? ♪

♪ All I want is you, will you stay with me? ♪

♪ All I'd want is you to be my sweet honeybee ♪

♪ All I'd want is you to be my sweet honeybee ♪

♪ All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves ♪

♪ All I'd want is you to shade me and be my leaves ♪

♪ Amputees with stamp collections ♪

♪ And a full time friend ♪

♪ And convicts with perfect diction ♪

♪ And even then we'll start again ♪

♪ And even then we'll start again ♪

♪ And even then we'll start again ♪

♪ And he comes back home at 5:30 ♪

♪ And he goes to work at 9:00 ♪

♪ And he's, oh, so fine ♪

♪ And he's, oh, so good ♪

♪ And he's, oh, so healthy in his body and his mind ♪

♪ And I ate some garlic ♪

♪ And I have a thing for... ♪

♪ And I never met a Toby that I didn't like ♪

♪ And I never met a Toby that I didn't like... ♪

♪ And I sing with my best friend the king ♪

♪ And I want to play the guitar ♪

♪ And I'll show you how much my shit stinks ♪

♪ And I'm in love with how you feel ♪

♪ And I'm looking in the city but the musical ♪

♪ And I'm looking in the city for the pretty girls ♪

♪ And if I was a tree growing tall and green ♪

♪ And if I was a tree growing tall and green ♪

♪ And if you were a kiss, I know I'd be a hug ♪

♪ And if you were an ocean, I'd learn to float ♪

♪ And in the sea there is a fish ♪

♪ And just pretend that nothing ever happened ♪

♪ And just pretend that nothing ever happened ♪

♪ And just pretend that nothing ever happened ♪

♪ And let you say good bye ♪

♪ And more worth fighting for ♪

♪ And the head said that you always ♪

♪ And the rumor is you never go with boys and you are tight... ♪

♪ And we'll sail around the world ♪

♪ And we'll set something ablaze ♪

♪ And you are so bold ♪

♪ And you like to be home most of the time ♪

♪ And you're so smart ♪

♪ And... if you can't, if you can't decide ♪

♪ Anything that you might do ♪

♪ Anything that you might do ♪

♪ At the thought I was foolish and proud ♪

♪ Because your thoughts and words are powerful ♪

♪ Between a little breakfast and lunch ♪

♪ Broken hearts hurt but they make us strong and ♪

♪ But my 4th quarter pipe dreams are seeming more ♪

♪ But my guitar is out of tune ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ But you... ♪

♪ Carry the news ♪

♪ Carry the news ♪

♪ Come with me ♪

♪ Come with me ♪

♪ Dearest, though you're the nearest to my heart ♪

♪ Do it for the living and do it for the dead ♪

♪ Do it for the monsters under your bed ♪

♪ Do it for the teenagers and do it for your mom ♪

♪ Do you remember when we met ♪

♪ Do, do do do, do do do, do do, do do ♪

♪ Do, do do do, do do do, do do, do do ♪

♪ Do, do do do, do do do, do do, do do ♪

♪ Doing the best things so conservatively ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't look at me ♪

♪ Don't play with me ♪

♪ Don't you remember you told me you love me, baby... ♪

♪ Elope with me, Miss Private ♪

♪ Even if he didn't, I wouldn't be offended ♪

♪ Ever say we'll part ♪

♪ For careers, you say you want to be remembered for your art ♪

♪ For some silly reason ♪

♪ Get more snatch by the baa atch ♪

♪ He's a well respected man about town ♪

♪ Here is the church and here is the steeple ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea ♪

♪ Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea ♪

♪ How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take? ♪

♪ How much... ♪

♪ How much... ♪

♪ How's it gonna be? ♪

♪ I am a vampire ♪

♪ I am a vampire, I am a vampire ♪

♪ I am a vampire, I am a vampire ♪

♪ I am a vampire, I am a vampire ♪

♪ I am a vampire, I am a vampire ♪

♪ I cried ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see ♪

♪ I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else ♪

♪ I had a dream that I had to drive to Madison ♪

♪ I have lost my fangs ♪

♪ I have lost my fangs ♪

♪ I have lost my mouth again ♪

♪ I kiss you all starry eyed ♪

♪ I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train ♪

♪ I knew you were my pet ♪

♪ I like boys that like their mothers ♪

♪ I like boys with strong convictions ♪

♪ I loved ♪

♪ I took a wrong turn and ended up in Michigan... ♪

♪ I took the Polaroid down in my room ♪

♪ I took the Polaroid down in my room ♪

♪ I wanna tell you ♪

♪ I wanna tell you... ♪

♪ I want more fans, you want more stage ♪

♪ I will be your Ferdinand and you my wayward girl ♪

♪ I wish to be a big cactus with a pink flower on it... ♪

♪ I'll drop kick Russell Stover ♪

♪ I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with ♪

♪ I'm going to treat you right ♪

♪ I'm gonna do, too ♪

♪ I'm gonna do, too... ♪

♪ I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend ♪

♪ I'm pretty sure you have a new girlfriend ♪

♪ If I stay in one place, I lose my mind ♪

♪ If I was a flower growing wild and free ♪

♪ If I was a flower growing wild and free ♪

♪ If you were a castle, I'd be your moat ♪

♪ If you were a river and the mountains tall ♪

♪ If you were a wink, I'd be a nod ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ In anyone else ♪

♪ It just makes me sad whenever I see it ♪

♪ It just makes me sad whenever I see it ♪

♪ It never fails ♪

♪ It was the world to me ♪

♪ It's not as if I don't like you ♪

♪ It's not as if I don't like you ♪

♪ Joey never met a bike that he didn't want to ride ♪

♪ Just as long as you were with me when the cold winds blow ♪

♪ Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart... ♪

♪ Just pretend I didn't tear your world apart... ♪

♪ Knowing that you got to go to school ♪

♪ Loose lips might sink ships but loose gooses take trips ♪

♪ Making life size models... ♪

♪ Mm mm ♪

♪ Mm mm! ♪ I just did.

♪ Mm mm... ♪

♪ Monday morning wake up ♪

♪ Move into the Starting Over house ♪

♪ My body swings from side to side ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ My love ♪

♪ My war paint is Sharpie ink ♪

♪ Oh, elope with me in private ♪

♪ On the sleeve of how it used to be ♪

♪ On the sleeve of how it used to be ♪

♪ Once ♪

♪ Once ♪

♪ Over rooftops and then dive deep into the sea ♪

♪ Please don't ever ♪

♪ Really high into the sky ♪

♪ Really, really want to, and I do, too ♪

♪ Shysters live from scheme to scheme ♪

♪ Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging ♪

♪ Singing, screaming, kissing, tugging ♪

♪ So I cry and I'm very angry ♪

♪ So I eat popcorn and I brood and wait ♪

♪ So I get one and I slept ♪

♪ So I'm no more sad and ache ♪

♪ So I'm sad and I feel lonely ♪

♪ So they jab you with a fork ♪

♪ So why can't you forgive me? ♪

♪ Spelled out on a double word and triple letter score and ♪

♪ Stand up ♪

♪ Start in lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor ♪

♪ Take me by the hand and stand by my side ♪

♪ Tech TV hottie, do it for Scotty ♪

♪ That's the day ♪

♪ The cat wished that it was a bee ♪

♪ The flower said, "I wish I was a tree" ♪

♪ The monkey on your back is the latest trend ♪

♪ The monkey on your back is the latest trend ♪

♪ The rumble of your water would be my call ♪

♪ The sea of love ♪

♪ The turtle wished that it could fly ♪

♪ Then I'll tear your world apart ♪

♪ These trying times without losing our minds ♪

♪ They think we're disposable ♪

♪ Throughout the school for being strange ♪

♪ Titanium Power r r r ♪

♪ To deliver a painting ♪

♪ To San Francisco double Dutch disco ♪

♪ To the sea ♪

♪ To the sea... ♪

♪ Underdogs with good intentions ♪

♪ We both have shiny happy fits of rage ♪

♪ We sure are cute for two ugly people ♪

♪ We sure are cute for two ugly people... ♪

♪ We won't stop until somebody calls the cops ♪

♪ We won't stop until somebody calls the cops ♪

♪ We won't stop until somebody calls the cops ♪

♪ We won't stop until somebody calls the cops ♪

♪ We're just dancing, we're just hugging ♪

♪ We're not lovers ♪

♪ Well both my thumbs opposable ♪

♪ Where are you? ♪

♪ While we strive to figure out a way we can survive ♪

♪ Why don't you microwave yourself ♪

♪ Yeah, I'm going to treat you right ♪

♪ Yes, together, yeah ♪

♪ You drop the tray and go berserk... ♪

♪ You know Matt Rouse and Jest are watching me ♪

♪ You scold ♪

♪ You're a part time lover ♪

♪ You're a part time lover and a full time friend ♪

♪ You're always trying to keep it real ♪

♪ You're so nice ♪

♪ You're so nice and you're so smart ♪

♪ You're such a good friend I have to break your heart ♪

♪ You're such a good friend, I have to break your heart ♪

♪ Your guitar ♪

♪ Your obsession gets you known ♪