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Home > Talladega Nights: The Ballad of...
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Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby is a comedy film released in 2006. Directed by Adam McKay, the movie stars Will Ferrell as the titular character, Ricky Bobby, a hilarious and over-the-top NASCAR driver with dreams of greatness. Ricky Bobby is idolized by fans and has a loyal teammate, Cal Naughton Jr. played by John C. Reilly. However, their friendship is tested when a French Formula One driver played by Sacha Baron Cohen challenges Ricky's dominance on the track.

The film delves into the world of professional racing, exploring the competitive spirit, self-discovery, and family dynamics of its characters. With its mix of outrageous humor, slapstick comedy, and clever satire, Talladega Nights provides plenty of laughs and memorable moments.

For fans of the movie and its soundtrack, you can play and download sounds related to Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby here.

A car. lt handled reaI good.
A little planning can go a long way.
A lot of big stories and some big questions here at Talladega.
A single plop.
Abracadabra, homes.
Absolutely, ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby.
Ain't nothing more damn frightening than driving with a cougar in the car.
All right, baby. Come on, now.
All right, fellas, let's go.
All right, Girard, I found you. Now let's see where this goes.
All right, go get them.
All right, I tell you what we gotta do. Since we got no corporate money...
All right, let's have a look.
All right, Professor Dickweed. What's the plan?
All right, we got it, we got it. Hold it right there.
All right, you let go of me, you Formula One jazz nutjob!
All right? Tomorrow, I'm coming for you.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. You got me. That's an awesome nickname.
All those races I won, that was for you, you know that?
All three people, all great champions, all loved.
Also wanna thank you for my best friend, CaI Naughton Jr...
Also, due to a binding endorsement contract...
Also, I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car.
Am I on fire? I'm on fire.
Anarchy!
And across from Monsieur Def...
And at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy.
And at the opposite end of the grid, Darrell, Ricky Bobby.
And check out his crew chief over there.
And death was coming for him, and he stood there...
And down, and down, and
And for that, I thank you.
And here you sit, thinking.
And I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore.
And I never did change my pee pants all day.
And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls.
And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at.
And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk.
And if you do not obey Granny Law...
And it scares the living shit out of us.
And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it.
And it's bad. I don't wanna give it to everyone else.
And it's not if it happens, it's where and when.
And knew that no matter what happened...
And most importantly, we thank you...
And Mr. Dennit told me that it's my time now.
And next to him is hip hop artist, poet and my brother in law, Mos Def.
And nobody can hang with my stuff.
And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker.
And remember, I'm saying, ''with all due respect.''
And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
And so then I got a marketing job with NASCAR.
And the 26 car just ran Naughton into the wall.
And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver...
And then something happened. There was a fire.
And then you showed up.
And then, when that fear rises up in your belly, you use it...
And we just came up with a new nickname.
And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos.
And you always have to prove yourself. Wh ?
And you know what else? You never let me win one time.
And you will probably lose.
And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?
And your sponsors weren't doing very much, so...
And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby...
And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell...
Answer me this: When you're in spa mode...
Are we about to get it on?
Are you asking me for a divorce?
Are you faking it? Fake it!
Are you in the hot tub?
Are you kidding me? Mama, why did you go do that?
Are you pressing the buttons in the back panel or in the kitchen?
As a sign of humility, if you kiss me on the lips now...
As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is, of course...
As the laps wind down, Jamie McMurray is the leader.
As William Blake wrote, ''The cut worm forgives the plow.''
As you know, Bill, he's been doing that all year.
As you wish.
Attaboy. All right, son.
Available at Wal Mart.
Baby, he's not gonna come to the wedding.
Baby, photo op, photo op. Come on.
Baby, stop.
Baby, that is reaI good talk. Like we practiced last night.
Baby, this is Ted Beamen from Halliburton.
Baby! That's my baby!
Baby.
Baby...
Be good to hold them down by your side.
Be thoughtful, Glenn.
Bean buffet in front of it. lt was awesome.
Beaten reaI bad, cowboy.
Because a man takes what he wants, he takes it all.
Because although today I am friendly...
Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party.
Because I like to party.
Because I think you wish you thought of it.
Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Because I'm done. I'm done with the racing, with driving.
Because I'm your daddy, that's why.
Because of gayness.
Because she's gotta run wild. You can't keep something like that back.
Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars...
Been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel, feeding it old pizza.
Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world class horses...
Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a....
Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a....
Bobby and Girard are dueling each other for the lead.
Bobby working really hard to pass the Wonder Bread car.
Bobby's boxed in. There's nowhere to go there.
Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it.
Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the Feds...
Boy, that Halliburton. Halliburton's taken off, haven't they?
Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?
Boys, how was schooI today?
Break it, Pepe Le Pew.
But how did he get down to his underwear that fast?
But I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled.
But I just wanted you to know that.
But I will give you this.
But I'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now.
But if you're scared...
But maybe, just maybe...
But my mama say he's out racing cars...
But other than that, it went fine.
But something looks wrong. I mean, he's running around like he's on fire.
But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since...
But what about you?
But with advances in modern science and my high level of income...
But you have forced me to do this.
But you're a grown man. You're delivering pizzas on a bike.
By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie.
CaI blew out his engine. You have no backup. Back off!
CaI Naughton from Dennit Racing just helped a rivaI driver pass a teammate.
CaI Naughton in second. Ricky Bobby in third.
CaI Naughton Jr.!
Cal, you could say that 1 0,000 times and it still wouldn't be enough.
Can feel the motor...
Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate?
Can you not see why I'm stuck on the anger bridge?
Can you speak up, Ricky?
Check it, it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it.
Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew.
Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey.
Chip, you brought this on.
Come back to the friendship shore.
Come here. You make me hot. Come here.
Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.
Come on, Dad. He's just a stupid cowboy.
Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt!
Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?
Come on, John, pay attention.
Come on, man, that was last week.
Come on, man, wake up.
Come on, man!
Come on, number one.
Come on, son. You can do it. Come on.
Come on, what kind of dude wears a thong?
Come on. Get in this house.
Come on. We were doing good there, man.
Come on. You know what? Screw you, man.
Coming up next, it's lce Dancing to the Hits of Motown.
Cops are coming.
Dad, where are you going?
Dad, you made that grace your bitch.
Dad!
Damn it!
Damn it. Come on, man.
Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest to take out CaI Naughton right now.
Dear 8 pound, 6 ounce, newborn infant Jesus...
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
Dear tiny infant Jesus, we
DelightfuI to meet you, Mr. Robert. I thought you were dead.
Dennit Racing lncorporated has decided to field an additionaI car.
Dick Berggren in Las Vegas, Victory Lane, for Fox Television.
Did you eat peanut butter or something?
Did you hear what he just said?
Did you just say ''party''?
Did you say ''fire''?
Did you say ''fire''?
Didn't Ricky Bobby used to drive for you?
Do you ? Do you know how crazy that sounds?
Do you know why I came to America, Ricky Bobby?
Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again?
Doc, give it to me straight.
Does it matter?
Doesn't the bear symbolize the old South...
Don't do it.
Don't listen to him. And remember one thing, he's the competition.
Don't listen to these people, Ricky. You're a winner.
Don't look at me. Get it off the trailer!
Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
Don't stop.
Don't throw out your best friend because of your anger.
Don't you get it? You don't drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart.
Don't you put that eviI on me, Ricky Bobby!
Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed!
Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run.
Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky.
Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen!
Drive.
Either close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy.
Either way this goes, could we get some after we're done?
Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric.
Even with a healthy arm, you don't have a chance against Jean Girard.
Even you too, Glenn.
Every week, we should come back to this Applebee's...
Everybody got problems.
Everyone, turn away.
Everyone's reaI friendly.
Everything cooI that Susan said, you wrecked it.
Everything ended up fine.
Excuse me, coming through.
Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby.
Excuse me, guys. Nice job.
Face it, we suck.
Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking about this new driver, Jean Girard.
Fine. I'll do it.
First off, my sons no longer act...
First or last, baby, you know it!
First, a very brief explanation.
Folks, I'm here with one of the great NBA superstars...
For best movie ever made.
For he was lost, but now he is found. Amen.
For this to happen.... Am I dead, man?
Frenchy can drive.
Game over. Come on, reset.
Get down, you little pancake.
Get her a gigolo.
Get in here, boys. Come on.
Get out.
Get this highway clean, come on.
Gets it in the paint. Get her done!
Give me that thing.
Glenn is dead, Ricky.
Glenn is dead, Ricky.
Glenn, shut up.
Go on and get some, boys.
Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!
Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!
Go, baby, go. Wait, what are you doing?
Go, baby! There you are.
Go, Ricky! Go!
God needs the devil.
God, a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now.
God, he's just following me wherever I go.
Golly, this is a hard decision.
Good call. Here, that's worth a nickel.
Good for you, Ricky Bobby.
Good luck to you, son.
Good night, guys. I'm losing a lot of blood.
Goodbye, buddy.
Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City.
Got those two tickets for my speciaI friend?
Gotcha.
Gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode.
Great. Hey, how's your mama's hip?
Greatest country on the planet.
Gretchen, my friend, got her period. I'm so jealous, God.
Guy's dangerous, Ricky. He's like a cobra. Back off!
Guys, let's go win ourselves a race, all right?
Hakuna matata, bitches.
Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes...
He comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum.
He did it!
He is a doer. And that's what you need to do.
He is dominating NAS CAR.
He said to take Ricky Bobby out of the race or you're fired, buddy.
He sold the windshield!
He still works there and he was crazy.
He was so scared, because you know how little he is.
He's a world class trainer of German shepherds.
He's airborne!
He's amazing.
He's fine. He just can't controI the muscles.
He's gone from 26th to 1 8th place.
He's gonna try the outside move again. I don't know if it's gonna work.
He's in his underwear again. Go get him, fellas.
He's jumping on Ricky, trying to put the nonexistent fire out.
He's just taking a nap.
He's made that car three lanes wide, but he's still fast.
He's suffering from catatonic shock.
He's telling you the truth, man. It's all in your head.
He's too good, Ricky. Lay off!
Hell, you can even be fifth.
Hell, you know what, get my car off the trailer, guys.
Hell, you're just a bag of bones.
Hello, Ricky Bobby.
Hello.
Help me, Allah!
Help me, Jesus! Help me, ******* God!
Help me, Oprah Winfrey!
Help me, Tom Cruise!
Here I come. Slingshot engaged.
Here we go, boys.
Here we go.
Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it...
Hey, boys, I wanna see some napkins in the lap.
Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add to your tremendous moraI confusion...
Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming. Thanks, baby.
Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up?
Hey, Carley.
Hey, Carley.
Hey, come on, man. I'm on a bike. Relax.
Hey, come on. It's 2:30 in the morning.
Hey, Dad!
Hey, Derek, it's Ricky.
Hey, driver! Drive these.
Hey, excuse me, Ricky.
Hey, fellas! These are really good. You should try one.
Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up, make it snappy. Let's go.
Hey, guys.
Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice looking bike, boy.
Hey, it's me, America.
Hey, listen to me. lf you're calm, that wondrous big cat will be calm too.
Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it.
Hey, man, you know what I was thinking?
Hey, man. How's it going? You wanna come over and party?
Hey, man. We missed you at the wedding.
Hey, man. You can walk! You can walk!
Hey, Ricky, let me ask you a question.
Hey, Ricky, nice of you to stop by for a visit.
Hey, Ricky.
Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire?
Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal.
Hey, Ricky. Ricky!
Hey, screw you, man! I got nothing because of you!
Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal.
Hey, sorry, man.
Hey, stop yelling at me, okay? I'm your dad. You're 7 years old.
Hey, turn that crap off. What's going on?
Hey, turn that off!
Hey, what happened to the family portrait?
Hey, what the hell, man. Hey, Glenn. Glenn!
Hey, you know, sweetie...
Hey!
Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to.
Hey. This is just between you and me, okay?
Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze? Which one of you is Breeze?
Hi, Bill Weber, along with Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.
Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan.
His injuries are minor, but right now he can't deaI with the trauma of the wreck.
His paralysis is entirely psychosomatic.
Hold it right there, Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner.
Hold my hand, baby.
Hold on, man. Hold....
Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see what this thing's got under the hood.
Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick. What are you talking about?
Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable.
Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up Bridgette Wilson Sampras' skirt.
How have you been? What have you been doing?
How he gets into those straightaways.
How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her?
How much you selling that weed for, old man?
How the hell did he even find me?
How you doing?
How you doing?
How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place?
How'd you get on a video game so fast?
Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.
Hump me!
Hundred and five miles an hour, you believe that?
Hungry for both steak and shrimp?
I ain't backing off. I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is.
I almost didn't recognize you with the sunglasses. What are you up to?
I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit.
I am being so incredibly rude, Monsieur Bobby.
I am French.
I am not gonna let you die here...
I am on fire. I am on fire.
I am so excited.
I am so paralyzed!
I am so sorry. I thought you asked for onions
I am the greatest one in the whole world.
I believe you have some tickets waiting for me. My name's Reese Bobby.
I bought myself a hundred thousand dollar...
I called him.
I came here for you to beat me.
I can walk!
I can't believe it!
I can't believe it! Oh, my God!
I can't believe it. I can't believe it!
I can't believe it. if it isn't Mike Honcho himself.
I can't believe this.
I can't get around him, man.
I can't hold my tongue.
I can't sleep in here, man. I'm scared.
I can't understand a word you've said the whole time.
I did a full spread for PlaygirI magazine.
I did just like you told me: ''lf you ain't first, you're last.''
I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby...
I don't have a car no more. Can you come get me?
I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this.
I don't know what organ or bone people have...
I don't know why I'm talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you?
I don't know, but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time.
I don't need to hear about doing a toilet.
I don't wanna be raining on your parade, but I gotta tell you...
I dropped them off at Sunday school at my church about 1 0 minutes ago.
I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something.
I feel like I'm in Highlander.
I felt like I was on a spaceship and....
I filled up three. Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail.
I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad!
I get emotionaI because you guys are working so hard.
I give you one option, Monsieur Bobby.
I got a better idea.
I got a chubby right now...
I got a message for all of them. Ready? Shake and Bake!
I got a offer to do PlaygirI magazine...
I got a pretzel in my head.
I got you, Pepe Le Bitch.
I got you! I got you, man! I'll help you!
I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows.
I gotta tell you, this is about a damn perfect evening right now.
I hate myself for being so jealous, but I am.
I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
I have kept my mouth shut for a really, really long time.
I have not finished.
I hope that both of you have sons.
I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake.
I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some Russian guy.
I just wanna say thanks, doc, for taking care of our boy here.
I just want to take time to say thank you for my family...
I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing.
I keep snapping back into it. It's like a trick you're pulling on me.
I know I screwed up raising you as a boy...
I know it's a technicality, but I tell you what...
I know you, son. I know you well.
I know, but one is a safety knife. One is a safety.
I know. I've been calling them all day trying to get you...
I like hearing that.
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off eviI samurai.
I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T shirt...
I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger.
I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater...
I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings.
I lost my license.
I love seeing some French guy break my record...
I love that.
I love you guys!
I love you too. Come on.
I love you, Cal!
I mean spread, man. I pulled my butt apart and stuff...
I mean, forget all these other guys.
I mean, he died last night in my arms...
I mean, he's been blowing me off for 25 years...
I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
I mean, I'm just I'm happy for you.
I mean, it's not like you're finishing 1 8th.
I mean, that's just life.
I mean, the same reason anyone comes to America.
I mean, you walk in that door...
I missed you dudes.
I missed you, Mama Speed. Ricky Bobby's back.
I need you all to step away...
I owe you an apology.
I painted the car, l.... We had sex.
I play for keeps!
I pray you know that pain and that hurt.
I really I didn't want it to be this way.
I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you.
I remember your daddy used to love it.
I said, ''Washington, D.C.''
I see Terry. He's having a chicken sandwich.
I sound like a massive prick.
I sure as hell am, Chip. I love the way they're talking to you.
I think what you are hearing is my accent.
I think your house is haunted.
I thought we had a good thing going. Shake and Bake.
I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge.
I wanna go fast.
I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him.
I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu we're coming for him.
I want this music out of my head.
I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow.
I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts.
I was gone three hours. Dennit just fired me from the team.
I was just telling you that because
I was thinking, though, one time...
I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.
I wet my bed untiI I was 1 9. There's no shame in that.
I will battle you with the entirety of my heart.
I will let you go, Ricky...
I will never shake your hand, ever.
I will not have my grandbabies acting like shiftless, wild hobos.
I win the races and I get the money.
I wish I could crawI into one of those right now.
I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering.
I wish you could've seen him.
I wish you'd help me just a little.
I work too hard for your bull, Chip.
I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast.
I would love to. No!
I'll cut right here. Stretch it out.
I'll drive 1 00 miles an hour to your house.
I'll get you. Which one of your cars do you miss the most? I'll bring that one.
I'll hold your hair.
I'll just bury it down inside.
I'll put you in a microwave.
I'll see you out there.
I'll tell you the truth. I'm a little confused by your tactics.
I'll tell you what, though, guys, that was a hell of a race today.
I'm 1 0 years old, but I'll beat your ass.
I'm 55 years old and all I got to my name is a car...
I'm all about getting to the front tonight, Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it!
I'm also thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack.
I'm choking on my own spit.
I'm concerned. He might have had a stroke.
I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it.
I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel.
I'm getting bored. You wanna come over and play G.l. Joes?
I'm going fast again!
I'm gonna get in and drive that car. I'm gonna do it calm.
I'm gonna put an end to this right now.
I'm gonna scissor kick you in the back of the head.
I'm gonna settle this thing. Let's just get ourselves...
I'm gonna start this car up.
I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here...
I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky.
I'm just gonna get in there. I'm just gonna grab the handle.
I'm just having a hard time, man. I'm just calling up for some support.
I'm just kidding you, man. I don't wanna win.
I'm just so proud of you. You remind me of me...
I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out.
I'm not even sure he realizes how much damage he's doing to his car.
I'm not going back to being poor and dancing at the Wizard's Den.
I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good.
I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one.
I'm not sure what to do with my hands.
I'm on fire.
I'm proud of you!
I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket.
I'm Reese Bobby.
I'm Ricky Bobby.
I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner...
I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get speciaI powers.
I'm sitting here in this enormous haunted mansion, can't sleep.
I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants.
I'm taking care of your house good.
I'm talking about sitting down, enjoying a gourmet meal...
I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name, man.
I've decided I can love you again. You're a winner.
I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy.
I've never seen him make that noise. Ever.
I've sent in my application to The ReaI World...
It's a baby boy.
It's a hot one here in Talladega...
It's affecting more and more cats every year.
It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman.
It's all right. It's all right, you're not on fire!
It's all right. It's gonna be okay.
It's all right. You're safe.
It's coming out. It's coming out.
It's embarrassing.
It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up.
It's just Jean and Ricky.
It's like Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken.
It's like, you know....
It's making me a little itchy.
It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on:
It's not the best car, but it'll move.
It's odd and off putting to pray to a baby.
It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck. Ricky can handle it.
It's okay, Susie. I appreciate it, guys.
It's one of the hardest things to do in racing.
It's open.
It's painful, and I love you!
It's parked out there. And then the next thing I gotta do...
It's shadow time, buddy.
It's the beginning of a new age.
It's time to be mature about this and just face facts.
It's time to go home to Jesus.
Jean Girard is my new boy at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us...
Jean's days are filled with sun drenched walks...
Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz. Get off my ass.
Jenga!
John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
Junior, driving has got nothing to do with interviews.
Just keep a camera on him all night long.
Just kind of friendly, like, ''Hey...
Just like Carley's tatas.
Just say, ''I love crepes.''
Just take out a plug of meat. Just like a deer.
Just trying to help out...
Just wondering if you can ditch school...
Keep it up, baby.
Kids move back in?
Know what ? I mean, do you know what that means?
Ladies and gentlemen, NASCAR fans...
Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair, drop the kids off with their aunt...
Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is the finaI lap.
Let me eat this, then I gotta make a phone call...
Let me introduce you to my lunch guests.
Let me tell you, hold on. Shake and Bake.
Let us pray.
Let's dig in!
Let's find out a little bit more about him from our reporter, Davey Wesling.
Let's get out there and win a race.
Let's take a quick commerciaI break and we'll be right back.
Lf I was right, why'd you throw another bucket on me?
Lf things go right, they could have us owning half the cars in NASCAR.
Lf we don't get that car back on the track...
Lf you ain't first, you're last. You know what I'm talking about?
Lf you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow...
Lf you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you.
Lf you wreck that car, that's 200 grand out of your pocket...
Like a dirty old bum.
Like a muscular t****ze artist.
Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy.
Like a spider monkey! Go on.
Like Carley and your dad and your sponsors.
Like the frightened baby chipmunk...
Listen, leaving your big old corpse behind...
Listen, Ricky.
Listen, you better be carefuI because tomorrow you're going to get beaten.
Little known jack man Ricky Bobby places third in the Dennit machine.
Ln a car. Car handle really good. Yeah.
Ln the song ''The Gambler,'' you sang:
Look at Don Shula, legendary coach.
Look at Girard in the 55.
Look at Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls.
Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record...
Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna try to win the race in reverse.
Look how bad he is in that interview.
Look, I don't know why I'm talking to you, okay? What is it?
Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me?
Look, I need to talk to you.
Look, there's nothing to be scared of. It's a new house...
Look. Here, help's coming.
Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine. So let's get the car off the trailer.
Love that money!
Ls he ever gonna be able to walk again?
Ls it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you?
Ls Ricky passing me in my subconscious?
Ls this some kind of joke? You guys putting me on?
Ls your name, by chance, Ricky Bobby?
Lsn't that cute? With a little pot of gold.
Lt certainly does look delicious.
Lt comes from my heart, that's why.
Lt doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby. I'm not gonna lie to you.
Lt doesn't matter, Lucius. We're in last place. Relax.
Lt happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay?
Lt is a sign of friendship in many countries.
Lt is who you were born to be.
Lt looks like neither Girard or Bobby will finish this race.
Lt looks like the NASCAR has gone French.
Lt was a cruel charade.
Lt was completely illegaI and in no way will count, but that was something.
Lt was shit.
Lt was. That was really good.
Lt would be a great time to go to commerciaI break.
Lucius, I got CaI Naughton dead ahead of me.
Lucius, what's he doing? He's everywhere at once.
Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them.
Ma'am, your husband's not dying.
Mama, we got nowhere to go. Carley and CaI took everything.
Man, he wants this win bad!
Man, he's scary good.
Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months?
Maybe don't touch it.
McCreedy's. They'll find the hole and build the box.
Me and Ricky, since we were little kids, man.
Me and your mama did it in a Rustler Steak House bathroom when I was 1 7.
Middle. I'll go up to the middle. Let's play some defense!
Mister, these tickets have been waiting for you for a long time.
Monsieur Bobby, by defeating me today...
Monsieur Girard, Ricky Bobby is here to see you.
Motherfucker, what makes you think I care?
Mr. Bobby, come on down here.
Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here.
Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.
Mr. Bobby's very competitive. lf he wants to race, he should race.
Mr. CaI Naughton Jr.
Mr. Dennit, with all due respect
My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog threw up somebody's finger.
My mama got problems. She just lost her leg.
My name is Jean Girard...
Nancy's sure she's going to get it soon too. And if I'm last....''
Nice jack work, Ricky.
Nice work, guys.
Ninety eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives.
No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop, okay?
No one seems to have the edge.
No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now.
No, I don't care what the doctor said, we gotta tell him now.
No, I know, I know. I'm just excited, man!
No, I'm not. Come on. It's gonna be awkward.
No, like, for instance, if I say peanut butter and....
No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years.
No, no, no, my friend. This way also closed. Not this way.
No, no, Ricky. No blindfold.
No, not at all. lt means it's all in his mind.
No, once was good. Once was good.
No, she's gonna be 88 and....
No!
No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crepes.
No! I honestly did not know that!
No. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that.
No. Never again.
Not a lot of room. He's in the wall!
Not even close.
Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity.
Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity.
Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the stands with a country music legend.
Now there's some stock I'd like to get my hands on.
Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam.
Now you're about to get Tasered.
Now, I am declaring Granny Law.
Now, I don't know who he conned into letting him start this race.
Now, I suggest you and your wife, Mrs. Jim Beam...
Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast? Anybody?
Now, that's a teammate right there.
Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see.
Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes...
Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes...
Now, where you going?
Now, you show me the DNA test...
Now, you watch yourself.
Oh, baby. Mama loves you so much.
Oh, come on.
Oh, God, help me!
Oh, God! Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!
Oh, God.
Oh, God. So fast.
Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son...
Oh, hey, Ricky.
Oh, I gave that up. Yeah, I gave that up...
Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.
Oh, I love when them cars whiz by.
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone had told you. He's fine.
Oh, Lord.
Oh, man, I'm flying.
Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy. I mean, this is borderline reckless.
Oh, man.
Oh, my God, they're racing each other on foot.
Oh, my God! Help me! I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
Oh, my God! Ricky!
Oh, no, no, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, Ricky Bobby.

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