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Home > Dean Martin Soundboard
All right go ahead ask him but watch how you ask him in a nice way use a little diplomacy
Captain I think you are wanted down at battalion headquarters
Cut his throat nah he just nicked a little but he bled like a stuck pig
Except one day she started to talk and I found out how dumb she was you know that dame is really 60 cents short
Hey sarge you need me for anything no take two weeks off
How come you didn't shave today no one said I was suppose to I didn't shave yesterday and nobody said nothing
How many times must I tell you that in the army you must go through channels
I'm warning you you're driving me crazy that's no drive that's a short putt
I've got work to do this ain't no poolroom no I could have sworn I just saw an eight ball
If you should ask a harvard lawyer he'll charge you twenty dollars and he'll give you this advice
Now get out on the parade grounds ten times round double time understand then come back here i've got plans for you
Oh fine that's all I need there's got to be an easier way to make a living
Sir would you still like to see the man I spoke to you about the one that caused all the trouble definitely! yes sir
Some day this guy is going to blow his brains out if you ask me he's already done it
This might sound a little hokey but I wrote a song and i'd like to make a record of it just for you
What's the matter with einstein he thinks I bombed pearl harbor
Yeah i'm going to jab his head off where do you want the body sent send it to his parents your body!
You won't come will you holy toledo no!
You'll live that's what i'm afraid of