Ultimate Matt Berry Soundboard Edit

A charming lady.

A gentleman caller.

A girl from a tiny village. On a dirt island in the Mediterranean.

A girl with no surname. No social standing. They actually called her a peasant girl.

A goat.

A good evening.

A sex change operation.

A slice of a fair system, wouldn't you say?

A smart thing to do now would be to get out of town. That's what Lazlo would do.

A super slumber is an act performed by the most desperate of vampire.

A total ban on turtlenecks.

A van. It's not the same, is it? Can you at least make sure it's black?

A. See a picture. Naming the lights above.

Abandon the vessel immediately.

About 10 minutes.

Absolutely anything.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Actually, if you wanna do Nando a favour, you could put that on, head down to massive fitness and get a date with the receptionist called Meg.

After all that nonsense on Staten Island, I cut loose to Pennsylvania because it sounded like Transylvania, and we all know that sounds cool.

Agreed. Thank you.

Ah, but even the most wealthy of vampires, they don't own what I own.

Ah, I see. You want to finish your final human orgasm. Yes?

Ah, that's my first ship. Is a piece of shit.

Ah, there's somebody at the door. There's somebody.

Ah. Here we go.

AHHHHH!

All I know is I haven't had a whistle of wool or tag.

All kinds of effin and jeffin.

All of my knowledge and the best of my abilities will turn you into the most impressive vampire there is.

All right, all right, keep your hair on. I've already arranged for some local vampires to come round for Colin Robinson's birthday.

All right, calm down.

All right, can't complain.

All right, mate.

All right, sailor.

All right, simmer down, Sean. We can't all be pillow experts.

All right, you've made your point. Let's call this a night.

All right.

All right. Is that chicken spell worn off?

All right. Let's get him to a private place where we'll both hypnotize him. You'll forget everything. Good old double hypnosis.

All these years of obsession and hatred.

All this is playing havoc with my guts.

All we need to do is send that to 10 friends or foes by sunrise and the curse will be lifted.

Alright then, Constantine.

Alright, all the best.

Alright, alright my darling.

Alright, alright, you've made your point. Get off me.

Alright, found it.

Alright, I didn't see you. She should be in a bloody cage.

Alright, well, I'll leave you to whatever the hell you were doing.

Alright.

Alright.

Am I a coward? Of course not.

Am I devious? Yes, I think I am.

America's premier nocturnal playground of hedonistic debauchery.

Amongst the broken tulips in the Garden State.

And a new outlet even was too hot, too late.

And as a sign of respect, we have decided to better you betwixt my two favorite vaginas out of my wife. And my mother.

And as limp as a finger.

And by lunchtime I was in the whole House with two prostitutes and three good time boys.

And by that I mean the new.

And cheap repairs to get down to the business of debt.

And consumable with butter.

And enjoy the most magical night of your life.

And eventually I realized, better for the poor bastard to not know at all.

And every human being they knew is dead, and every vampire they knew was scattered to the four winds and started a new life without them.

And from there I was in charge of sloops, battleships, brigantines, the Titanic for two seconds.

And he's become a massive prick.

And here we have the peace dockerty stones, my mother.

And how would you like me to answer that?

And I feel I succeeded.

And I myself did. Contract leprosy, but I was quite lucky because it couldn't be seen. It was only one part of my anatomy.

And I promised I'd never get emotional in front of you chaps, but. I didn't sc**** and murder my way to Pennsylvania to watch those talented athletes get fucked off.

And I wish I'd made love more.

And I won't start now.

And I'll tell you something, Jackie did Homer's life. It ain't so bad.

And I'm here to stop that kind of jive.

And I'm starting to get some pretty primal urges.

And I've heard there's a lot of nudity, and I mean a lot.

And I've not looked back since.

And if anyone else has anything to say, I would say now's the time to say it.

And if she hadn't told me I'd be reading the Bible, I wouldn't fucking agree to it.

And if you don't wear a cap? You look like a fucking knee trembler.

And is bamboozled.

And it was bollocks.

And it's a golden threesome with no holes back. And.

And it's like that Titanic film. Everybody knew what was going to happen in the end, but it was still a tremendous hit.

And let's face it, she's not all that. But this grinning fool is desperate.

And may I say, you are a credit to the women's suffragette movement.

And most birds would be appalled by this display. Yet this slack prick doesn't know up from down.

And now for the grand finale.

And now I will.

And now the 1990s, could it be any sexier?

And one of those is not sitting with you to pilchards making horse noises.

And so it begins.

And so you think this eye child is linked with the big eye that ****d the man in B wing?

And tell me how you do that. You're locked in a fucking cage.

And that would include Canada. What the fuck would anyone want with Canada?

And that you needed me about at all times to take care of you.

And the odds against you being normal afterwards are pretty fucking low.

And the Super slumber consists of a vampire sleeping for over 50 years, 100 years or worst case scenario up to 300 years.

And then about a week later, that developed into pornos.

And then, one night, everything changed.

And those fuckers expelled me from the Sherwood club.

And to an expert in the arcane and black arts.

And tonight.

And we are truly sorry and we're taking this very seriously and these are our serious faces.

And we've got our own champion. He goes by the name of Nandor the relentless.

And what good is some soil from your homeland? When your best friend in the whole world is suffering.

And what I dismissed the rumour, is actually true.

And when I say a lot, I don't just mean a whiff of tit, I mean the full rack.

And when it does, I think she'll be very impressed.

And when we all know you hate the woman, that much is clear.

And which word in particular do you object to your honour?

And who do we have here?

And yet, like nothing I've heard before.

And you get in your car and you drive back to the Amazon.

And you won't remember a thing about.

And you're also very easy on the eye.

And you're familiar. He likes it, don't you, Dustin?

Animals are all around us, extraordinary, inspirational, craftily adapted or credit adapted to their environment and designed for survival.

Anything gets me hard.

Anything I can help with?

Anyway, enough about our balls.

Anyway, how dare you.

Anyway, I've invited Colin Robinson.

Anyway, obviously I invited her in.

Anyway, treachery was afoot and I was expelled from the Sherwood Club of London.

Anyway.

Anyway. One night I was awoken by this. Horrible clawing at the window and I thought, who the hell is that?

Are you fucking deaf?

Are you fucking talking about? He's just a familiar.

Are you joking, ray patches?

Are you keeping well?

Are you kidding?

Are you mental?

Are you OK?

Are you sure you're going to be alright?

Aristotle's book of Poetics 2. Is that code? No.

As a joke, nothing more.

As an advocate of the old ways, can I just apologize for the straight paper? But it should have been human skin, obviously.

As the pages fall from the calendar, we can do nothing but wait.

As we both know my darling from experience.

At 6:55, I hypnotize arterio Rodriguez.

At last.

Aye!

Aye. Hey, this casket close?

Back to Lazlo.

Bad.

Bad.

Bang goes my Hippocratic Oath.

Bang.

Baron, are you there?

Basically, we're fucked.

Bat

Bat!

Be gone.

Be quiet.

Because he's my best friend. He's my pal, he's my homeboy, my rotten soldier. He's my sweet cheese, my good time boy.

Because I killed him.

Because I live on the third floor.

Because I'm playing the keyboard till 2.

Because if I remember correctly, I walked into the John and someone had left a huge floater.

Because my heart was in pain.

Because the temperature is too high.

Because there's only one in the whole world.

Because you let the fire burn down.

Been monkeying around with my precious volume.

Before they meet the one, then if they're lucky, they can go off and fuck millions of others like we do.

Before we go on, Linda, do you need to go to the toilet?

Bet you didn't know that existed.

Better for me to show him a good time during his last months of life.

Between you and either, I wouldn't normally spend this much time with him, but I figured the quicker he gets on with it, the quicker he shut his mouth.

Biggest mistake I ever made.

Birds, however, love to dance.

Blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an axe. And he's second to none.

Bloody hell, we're being enchanted.

Bodyguard break the door down.

Bollocks.

Boring.

Bosses you can my dear, like now.

Boy, Mr Majestic, I fucking told you.

Boy, where's my cup of tea?

Boy, you piece of shit then, you fucking cunt, man.

BU vampire.

Bugger off.

Bullshit.

Bullshit. Please remember that this man is a vampire killer.

Bullshit. You made it up as you were going along.

Burn natelli, the most successful businessman of the year.

But a huge honor all the same.

But as the old saying goes, I didn't come here to make friends. And that's bullshit. That's exactly what I came here to do.

But as you can see, the place is fucking massive.

But hang on, it's night. Shouldn't there be no one in there?

But hear me out. Truth is, I came here to pitch woo but was so nervous I took a calming physic to settle my nerves. That drug turned me into a fucking monster.

But how dare you do that? You will end up like Adriana.

But I also feel this could be the beginning.

But I couldn't give a fuck.

But I digress.

But I enjoy it.

But I think I know why.

But I thought you were dead.

But I'll tell you this, my luck changed the night I met Najib, for she is an exquisite lyricist.

But I'm glad he's in our deck.

But I'm here to help you with that.

But I'm not Lazlo. I'm Jackie Daytona and I made a promise to this town.

But I've mainly defended a lot of horns and horses.

But if we seriously think he's going to quick us, then we should pick him first.

But if you and he wish to be best buddies again, I won't stand in your way.

But it's science.

But remember, no bullshit from thy mouth.

But she's hurt. She may need our help.

But take that up a notch to a 3 way hypnosis.

But that is no longer true where it ever so.

But that'll heal immediately. There we are.

But the truth is, my darling, you don't need anyone to keep you safe.

But there again, he was always saying shit like that.

But this is the original.

But watch this.

But we like it.

But we need to worry about that anymore. We don't know where the hat is. Well, right?

But what I found shocked me.

But what you're failing to understand is the ball lake that we both had trying to get this from inside there to out here.

But where we come from, 2 roughs means you're up for anything.

But with you, it was real. I did it because you're different.

But you have gizmo at your side.

But you need to be careful. That's not even witches trying to pinch your semen.

But.

By joke. I'm 80.

Came through the window and took my life.

Can I just say on behalf of us ohh fuck, it doesn't matter.

Can I take a rain check on that? My guts are playing.

Can we get on with this?

Can we have a closer look?

Carrie's got a gun.

Carry on.

Cat anime tales, Oliver Cromwell's head, my cod piece, bat cod piece.

Centuries ago, I commanded the captain's helm of many an important vessel.

Certainly is.

Champions, choose your weapons.

Check out our website today for details.

Cheers.

Colin Robinson is dying.

Colin Robinson we are in the presence of asylum.

Colin Robinson will be dead by sunrise.

Colin Robinson, when you talk to me. About 19th century naval battles. I was genuinely interested. I didn't let you know that, because then you'd have stopped. Maybe I didn't want you to stop.

Come back. Come back.

Come in. Right up. One human alcohol beer it is.

Come on Joe, drink up. But I want Carol ringing here again.

Come on then, let's go for a ride.

Come on then, Plato, enlighten me.

Come on, Colin Robinson, we're off.

Come on, Liz, I hope you apply some more makeup.

Come on, my darling, let's head for the women's intimate.

Come on.

Come on. We both knew it was on the cards as soon as I realized you were a woman.

Come on. We both knew it was on the cards as soon as I realized you were a woman. I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

Come.

Coming from the starboard bow.

Connie Robinson believes that Plum Island holds the secrets to his energy vampire origin.

Continue with your tail.

Cordless engine frigging smarts as well.

Cordless iron. Friggin' smarts as well

Could this ruin the greatest friendship of my life?

Could you do me a small favour? Fetch me the book which is next to my father's ashes.

Count me in.

Courage and honour.

Cry ohh.

Dag, it's Liz. She's having a vision.

Damn handsome one like that, I might say. You're too kind.

Damn well think so.

Davia. Deep dive Mecca.

Delicious.

Depends what mood he's in.

Did I get you?

Did your mom die when you were young?

Didn't see that coming.

Didn't you hear what she just said? We're gonna rule the fucking place. Rule Britannia.

Dig there.

Digestive my darkest Princess.

Dinner is served.

Disgusting.

Do that now.

Do what?

Do you have a name, my darling?

Do you mean the rumours that I killed my wife?

Do you think I could get to like this? Just the job, good work. Hmm, nice and loose.

Doctor blazes, you're going to be kidding.

Doctor has the matter with you, Dad?

Doctor Sanchez.

Does the pillow come with the pillow case?

Don't ask me where I got them from.

Don't even know I'm doing it. I thought I was helping attach a drip.

Don't fear, my darling.

Don't know what the Hell's got into him.

Don't let him fucking see this.

Don't look my sweet darling. It's too dangerous.

Don't mind if I do.

Don't raise your glass too soon, Ben, cause this has all been one big ruse. It isn't your day at all.

Don't raise your glasses too soon, cause this ruse has also been a ruse.

Don't see a misuse. They're the biggest con of the 20th century.

Don't touch that book, Cosmo. It's too much for your young cock.

Don't worry, I've coordinated a secret escape plan.

Don't worry, my darling, I shall protect.

Don't you dare.

Don't you temper, temper me, boy. Just do your job.

Down with the old ways. Up with the new world.

Drinks on the House.

Drive, my darling. We've got no evidence that it was him.

During The Climax

Egypt's longest penises.

El Craven's worth at NY Connex. Dot com.

Electronically.

Energy vampires, it said, have a life expectancy of exactly 100 years.

Even easier.

Even vampire tricked him steam room.

Everyone come down.

Everyone fucks and sucks thousands of chaps and chap asses.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Exactly. I was misinformed.

Exactly. Who knows, they may even be stolen.

Excelsior.

Face me, old chap.

Fair enough.

Fantastic stuff. All the best my darling 2.

Father, is it really you? Is this really heaven?

Father.

Fear not, Colin Robinson captain never abandons his crew.

Female Sulu being their captain aboard.

Few of my favorite things, as they say.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Fire the nuclear weapons.

Five and nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire the nuclear weapons. Fire about nuclear weapons. Yeah.

For his tummy.

For I am a grifter and this is grifting 101.

For I myself used to be a barrister on the Queens bench.

For I, as many as pseudonym, such as Jeff Goulash, Phillip Switch, or Baz Ravish.

For me. But why the hell would you be here for me? And who the hell are you anyway?

For the Geek Squad. Geek Squad? Not a problem at all.

For the last time, can you turn this TV down?

For this, vampiric Council holds the world's oldest and largest collection of pornography.

For today is an auspicious day for a couple of reasons, one of which we are joined by such esteemed vampires. The other happens to be the 100th birthday of our housemate, our friend, and the energy...

For tonight is the night that I must disappear forever.

Forgive me, my darling.

Forgive us, old chap.

Former Katie Didling wiggling snarly.

Free but compulsory harpsichord concerts every day of the week.

Free hat even better.

From here I can't tell the difference. You both look exactly the same.

From when?

Fuck it.

Fuck me.

Fuck no.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

Fuck sake.

Fuck, we'll get a shovel.

Fuck.

Fucking halfwit.

Fucking hell.

Fucking hell. Well done, Chad.

Fucking knew this would happen.

Fucking swear at me.

Fucking thing just bit me.

Full Blazers.

Full boobies, full boners.

Geek chic. I wanna tear my eyes out.

Get in the hole.

Get lost.

Get over it. Purchase.

Get them out of my sight now, you smart ass.

Get your hand off. My wife's ample but firm backside.

Get your point, stranger.

Give it up, Dad. Dad thinks the potential killer. Look at these lab results.

Gizmo be a good, familiar and fetching broom.

Gizmo he's been causing havoc in the household.

Gizmo likes it, don't you?

Gizmo stopped doing that.

Gizmo's probably cursed.

Go like this. And push you back up.

Go to the meeting. I'll be right there.

God yeah. No taboos left anywhere anymore.

Good evening, Michael.

Good evening, your Excellencies.

Good evening. Good evening.

Good eye.

Good idea.

Good morning.

Good show.

Good to see you.

Good. Fucking kidding.

Goodnight my darling.

Goodnight.

Got nothing to do with the hat. It's the bookshelf which I charged you to fix.

Gotcha.

Great fucking purchase

Great job, dad.

Great joke also.

Great pine.

Great. But you go ahead and we'll wait.

Greenberg.

Grifting happens to be an art form.

Guess who tipped off the natives?

Guillermo is a damn good bodyguard. He will keep you safe.

Guilty as charged.

Had a dream come true? And when you smile for the camera. Now they're going to love it, man.

Hang on a second. You turned yourself into a doll in a place that imprisons dogs.

Happy to help, he says. It also has his phone number. And e-mail address.

Have I got to sit and listen to you two talk about leg warmers all day?

Have No Fear, here I am.

Have we not escaped from this fluorescent mausoleum? We'd be fucking dead.

Have you any idea how difficult it is to make a porno?

Have you chosen your champion?

Having found one that seems gay, he stays close to her side to ensure that no other hopping dog tries to cup off with her.

He could be called Mickey Gilley Akmar.

He doesn't. I haven't had the heart to tell him.

He is got nothing underneath it by the looks of it.

He is proficient in Excel.

He must have noticed me eyeing it because in his dying breath he said take my hat, it's good.

He tricked me with her witchcraft.

He was just joking. It was was it was just an idea that we were kicking upstream.

He was still giving me shit over that hammer.

He will. He's the best damn doctor on the wing. Or any other wing for that matter.

He'll come up Trump's.

He'll just do his mind magic on.

He's as mad as a wax banana.

He's been disappearing to the penny pornos.

He's been down there for hours, desperately trying to find out what he can about the origin of energy vampires.

He's been on the sauce all day.

He's broken the bloody window.

He's called Nando, and this is called let's steal the disco.

He's getting into it. This is going to be spectacular.

He's going ah.

He's gone into the salon.

He's gonna make it just but the chickens off.

He's got that slack jaw, half wit look.

He's just fucking said that.

He's mad.

He's not that clever.

He's only here to steal my hat.

Hehehe

Hell's horses.

Hello my darling.

Hello Steven, this is Clem Fandango. Can you hear me?

Hello there, Sir.

Hello, Elvis.

Hello, this is Inspector Rabbit talking on the stick.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello. How?

Here I am behind the dead chap, 2 fingers in the air, doing the rabbit.

Here is the chimera.

Here she is.

Here we go.

Here's another one that was cruelly stolen from me.

Here's Moe.

Here's to love and making love.

Here's your surprise.

Hey bud, just give Me 2 ticks.

Hey mate.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey, Jim the vampire, you're fired.

Hey, why aren't you taking our clothes off?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

His father was a member of a club called the Sherwood Club of London.

His has grown and he's draining us. He's not only draining us. This is a mega DRAM.

His main crime was that he's dull.

His name was Mike.

His wife will probably kill him.

Hit the double hypnosis commands.

Hmm. Can I speak frankly?

Hold on a second. We were promised nudity, penis and full Bush.

Hold on, hold on. I've got this covered. Shit.

Hold tight.

Hold your horlicks.

Holiday time.

Honestly, Jane, I don't think anybody's going to agree with you about this.

How about I put this toy where the moon don't shine?

How dare you.

How do you think the guy's got a fault through his channel?

How irritating.

How many pillows?

How the fuck was that?

How you diddling JoJo?

How's tricks?

Hug the wall.

Human fall.

I acquired this hat while dreading the blood of a Bavarian hexen Brenner. Or which burner?

I always have.

I always knew we couldn't trust your car.

I always wondered where they hid it away. And it's been right under my nose the entire time.

I am Filtrated the Township posing as your average American Yankee Doodle dandy.

I am just a regular human guy.

I am led to believe that your presence here indicates some kind of unfinished business on this terrestrial planet.

I am the tempo king.

I apologise for the billiard ball to the head.

I backed this chap on a midnight sojourn to the leg district.

I beg your pardon?

I beg your pardon?

I began my seafaring life as a young sailor, scrubbing the poop decks.

I bought these especially for the occasion.

I can feel my powers fading, but. Ohh fucking sparro.

I can't be bothered to hold this anymore. Can you tether it?

I can't even slumber knowing he's downstairs in that basement.

I can't hear you unless you push the button.

I can't. I can't hear you. Press the button.

I certainly did.

I could borrow that and get anything I want.

I could watch him clean all day.

I couldn't believe it myself, but what my own eyes have seen, my own eyes have seen.

I dare you to say that one more time.

I did cut a small hole in the bottom of the coffin, so if he is either accurate or persistent he should be fine.

I did invent the portrait bomb.

I did take a brief sojourn to the Golden State.

I didn't ask.

I didn't become a vampire to end up a pen pushing bureaucrat. I became a vampire to suck blood and to fuck forever.

I didn't catch a word of that, alright.

I do beautiful part of the world.

I don't care.

I don't consider that a curse.

I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a monkeys.

I don't know about you, old chap, but I have a raging hard on.

I don't know if it can do that.

I don't know, maybe I've gone soft in my old age, but I've noticed that he looks a bit lonely. I thought I'd spend some time with him. I mean, you could call it my good deed.

I don't know.

I don't mind saying I need your help, Billy Bass. I'm shit out of ideas.

I don't need cheering.

I don't think I've ever looked in this drawer. Wow, a gum.

I don't think she followed the plots.

I don't think so, my old boy.

I don't use a pillow.

I don't wanna be rude, Colin Robinson, but could you get on with it?

I don't want any trouble.

I don't want you to worry about this one second longer.

I feel a huge injustice has occurred here today and it needs addressing.

I gave it to an acquaintance in the Bronx, where I believe it remains to this day.

I gave you those raccoons as a bloody gift.

I gotta get out.

I had a bad back and I cured it thanks to the techniques outlined in this groundbreaking expose of the massage industry.

I had a mother once.

I had the cleaver in my hand.

I had to sit there for about 7 hours and they still do it now. Why? Because it's hilarious.

I have caused my best human friend Sean to be on the brink of financial ruin and heartache.

I have no reflection in the rear view mirror.

I have recently rediscovered my love for Topiary sculpture.

I haven't got a fucking clue what is.

I haven't seen that yet.

I haven't spent much time with Colin Robinson in the past for the main obvious reason that he's incredibly fucking dull.

I hypnotised this, so you'll start from a clean slate.

I just came to say goodbye.

I just wanted you to know this calendar doesn't make a million pounds. I'm holding you personally responsible.

I knew there was a page or two on energy vampires in Edmond Wheelwrights compendium vampirism.

I know what I'm doing.

I know who you are. Outward appearance may have changed. The pattern remains the same. You get reborn, you try and find her. And I cut your head off.

I know.

I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

I left strict instructions not to be disturbed in case we had sex.

I like the tie-dye. You've been to a concert.

I love you and I love you. I did. I tell you that I love you.

I made a vow never to return to that Cat house ever, ever again.

I made him into a vampire back in the 1970s. He sometimes uses this room which you can see he's doing some recording, so.

I mean, I won't play a bald man, not even on Radio 4, but I'm not gay skeptic. Let's go.

I mean, I've known people who have committed suicide after a poor orgy.

I mean, there's talk we could possibly join forces. Take the lion share of New York City.

I mean, you don't need the two of us, surely?

I must say I'm I'm not sure I fully disapprove of this abduction.

I need 10 minutes to recover.

I need some air.

I need to borrow your credit card and not tell you why.

I need to sort this and I need to sort it now.

I never learned to drive, which is a pity, because that thing cost a fortune.

I now go by the name of Daytona, Jackie Daytona.

I personally use rechargeable batteries.

I played the leading role of the very Randy Vampire.

I pretended I couldn't see it, which will give us the element of surprise.

I probably don't need the script, it's just a word.

I promise, father.

I put my heavy heart to one side for the love of my good lady wife, Najah.

I put some sounds on. There's a bad atmosphere in here.

I really have no idea.

I remember the first time I met Colin Robinson. I thought to myself, how can one man be so fucking dull?

I said I'm sorry.

I said I'm sorry.

I said may I approach the bench?

I said something which you will heartily agree with.

I said. Are you fucking deaf? If you are, then you may be thinking of investing in a digital hearing aid.

I saw this. I'm going to get a drink.

I say an incredible idea.

I say apologies for not making it to Plum Island to find out more about your energy vampire origins.

I say little vampire, I'm very sorry for saying you should be kept in a cage.

I say, has everyone remembered to sign Colin Robinson's birthday card?

I say. Release me.

I seem to remember him having genitals.

I sense there's something else that's bothering you.

I sense you are angry tonight. And with good reason, for we have been imprisoned. Yes, without trial, now is the time to hoist our oars and row towards freedom.

I set lucky bruise ablaze and picked up the insurance money to put the girls volleyball team through to state.

I should be in our bed chamber.

I should cut your head off.

I should say it does.

I stand corrected.

I suggest you fuck off and never darken our doorstep again.

I suppose it won't surprise thee to learn that I've prepared for a night such as this.

I tell you, if what they're saying is true, both my wife and I would be dead by now.

I think I can get you out of this hole.

I think I'm gonna put.

I think it's very funny indeed, Colin.

I think it's worked.

I think she wants us to come inside.

I think someone summoned a breakfast burrito.

I think that's one of the harmonica.

I think the main purpose for the Baron's visit is to find out whether we as vampires have populated America.

I think they've built this around the car.

I think we did.

I think we'll need more than a penny loose. Whereas poor girls, they didn't deserve that.

I think you need to pipe down the old chef.

I too have written something, yes. None. That's it.

I took part in thousands of pornos over the years. If you see them now, they are still very, very erotic.

I tried my luck, but she's clearly not into guys.

I used to be a member of a club, the show would Club of London.

I want my way, and you want yours.

I want to speak to you, you son of a bitch. What? I love you. Who? I do too. Good.

I was a cat.

I was a different person. I was Jackie dead tonight.

I was cast because they thought that I looked like a vampire.

I was doing the bloody disco 100 years before any other fucker.

I was Jack the Ripper.

I was never in any doubt.

I was on board that ship with the catalyst.

I was the most handsome man in our village.

I wasn't really listening, so if you wouldn't mind repeating it.

I went to the Padre to confess. Ended up washing my ass in the front.

I will not be paying for anything today.

I wish I was more attractive like daglas.

I won't be talked into any extended warranty.

I won't tell her so.

I wonder if it's loaded. No.

I wouldn't care. I tell everyone that's where I go. In fact, I've just come back from there.

I wouldn't go that far.

I wouldn't take that personally.

I wrote that song, but I'm a jolly good fellow. That's what it was originally called.

I wrote this melody in 1852. It was called Chuman Irie, an ode to the local fishmongers misses Irene.

I'd agree to meet the devil at an intersection of roadways where we do a deal, where I would become a much better guitarist.

I'd give anything to see her walk through that door right now.

I'd go myself but. I can't be fucked.

I'd like to see the construction of a huge opaque Dome the size of the city covering the city, blocking out all sunlight.

I'd rather not.

I'd say he's been brainwashed.

I'd say surrender, but it's my mother's Volvo we're talking about.

I'd say that you didn't experience true love today.

I'd say we're fucked.

I'll be with you in two seconds. You can scrub my legs.

I'll get him up.

I'll just go back inside and leave you to talking to the air.

I'll keep my peepers peeled for that guy.

I'm about to close friend out. Anything quick I can rustle you?

I'm about to launch a Sputnik.

I'm afraid they'll always be dear ladies, but you're paying for reliability.

I'm bearing up. You know me, Dad.

I'm busy here.

I'm Colin Dent.

I'm coming with you.

I'm coming, father. I'm ready.

I'm Doctor Sanchez. You're a woman.

I'm fine, yes. Yes, I'm fine, yes.

I'm fucking and you've done it again, yeah?

I'm glad to see your foot injury isn't slowing you down.

I'm guessing I've come to the end of the road.

I'm guessing the jig is up.

I'm not coming to the orgy. I'm not in the mood.

I'm not coming.

I'm not going to do this if your man's pissing against the wall.

I'm not going to leave you, Colin Robinson.

I'm not having that.

I'm not paying for shit.

I'm not supposed like somebody fucks a car in it.

I'm not sure that's aged well.

I'm one track lover.

I'm ready.

I'm sad to say that the only secure route to a knighthood in this sorry age is via charity work.

I'm sorry.

I'm very much in the middle for some sexual intercourse.

I've been gone ages and all you can do is hello Lazlo.

I've been robbed, I say. Robbed.

I've been shit on from a great height and it's not the first time.

I've got my Cape caught in the door.

I've gotta be honest, I haven't stepped inside a court for about 300 years.

I've just given the order to fire their nuclear weapons. I've just unleashed Armageddon.

I've known for months.

I've never told anyone that before.

I've no idea what my home phone number is. What is it?

I've tried to finish myself off with these hands, but they're ghost hands and they don't have the necessary stimulus.

If he has not expired or drowned in his own filth during the transatlantic crossing.

If I had given her some, Lucas said. And that seems to have helped. But she said she's having visions. But I've got a real honest show.

If I were to need rest and recuperation from a dear friend's death, that fuckhole would be the last place on Earth that I would choose to go back to.

If she found out, she'd have me for dinner and you for dessert.

If she is sufficiently impressed, she will have fuck with the geezer with the best moves.

If there is a stone, so to speak, in your shoe that needs eliminating.

If this has anything to do with the fact that I won't let anybody touch Colin Robinson's body yet I myself have not been down to the basement to pay my respects, I can answer that there's nothing d...

If we are technically dead like he says, could ghosts of us exist?

If we charge 5 bucks a ticket, imagine the amount of money will raise for these girls.

If we slowed this down, it would stop forever and a day.

If you act like a cheap arsehole, expect the shittiest portion.

If you think he's going to whack us first, yes.

If you've got something to say, then damn well say it.

In Costa Rica lives one of the natural world's biggest glamour boys, the branch Pidgeon.

In New York City.

In the back garden as we speak.

In your own time.

Indeed so.

Indeed, that one.

Indeed.

Is he being sarcastic?

Is he zapping our energy?

Is it pointless? I already know she's got my briefcase.

Is that a friend of yours?

Is that it? Just that one word?

Is that understood?

Is this for real?

Is this the bonus pile or is that?

Is this what you want?

Isn't it splendid?

Isn't it true that you? Used to be a man.

It is a strange and dangerous netherworld we inhabit, and I once thought you too weak and defenseless to navigate it on your own.

It is possible to over hypnotize and I fear that's what we've done with Sean.

It is the instinct to procreate the most powerfully motivates, or protiva hates their existence.

It is you who is outnumbered this time.

It isn't true, you say.

It may have sprang from necessity, but now I feel as though I may never depart.

It needs a cake.

It really is the most desperate measure for any vampire.

It says here some girl called Ariana disobey Bloody Mary and now she's dead. They ripped her guts out, dropped them on the front doorstep of her parents.

It'll be best for everybody if you show yourself now.

It's 100% witch skin.

It's a classic necromancer scam.

It's a contrast, but something I wouldn't say no to.

It's a fucking knife.

It's a pleasure swing. You're fucked, nut, not a sex net.

It's about up a dog county, but it's all I've got.

It's about.

It's all there. Razzle dazzle, man.

It's best just to kind of blend in like like we are now, yes.

It's called a Stutz Lazlo. They only made four. They gave one to Henry Ford and then he gave his one to his hero Mussolini.

It's hard to tell with your mad eyes.