The Mick - Season 1 Edit

A Berlin bailing out a Pemberton, how about that?

A bunch of middle aged slobs

A capful of this thing. Do you want to sit down?

A capful of this thing. Do you want to sit down?

A case involving me.

A cement mixer, Chip, and I've been meaning

A cheaper one. Do you have any idea

A different take on it, you know?

A dragonfly tattoo over his heart,

A farmer, but my gun jammed.

A fresh pot.

A frickin' tarantula almost bit my frickin' arm off!

A future serial killer.

A gentleman never abandons his drink.

A gentleman never abandons his drink.

A glass, have a glass of wine. You know?

A great many things for the landlocked nation of Guatemala.

A huge monster! What do I do?!

A jump start in the bedroom.

A little bit longer, that's all.

A little discipline might knock the weird right out of him.

A little hustle, please. The colonel's waiting

A little more quiet,

A little prince like yourself.

A little self sufficiency.

A little tied up at the moment.

A long, healthy life.

A man with no ties to society

A midnight hankering for some grilled cheese.

A mouse!

A perfectly good chicken go to waste.

A photo op with the hole in one kid?

A postcard from Iraq?

A ring!

A ring!

A round of drinks on Pemberton.

A sheep will never hurt me.

A true time out from you guys.

A valuable life lesson here, all right?

A vasectomy? What the hell are you talking about?

A very bad,

A wolf takes what it needs.

A woman threatened to cut off her own breasts.

A... what?

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! I killed him! Oh, no!

Aah! We're gonna die!

Aah.

Aah...!

Abandoned child in the world.

About Mommy and Daddy.

About something like that.

About the fiasco from the NY Insider column

About your buddy Omicron.

About your surprise, did you bring the surprise?

About yourself and then shoving it

Absolutely not, Alba. I don't punish.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not. I'd never hear the end of it.

Absolutely, no offense taken. I'm the exact same way.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. Plus, I want to rub it in her face

Accepting students right now...

Ach, to you.

Actually, I'm joking about joking.

Actually, it's my room.

Actually, the age of consent

Addict!

After all I've done for you?

After this one till he's 18 will be ruined.

Again, his name is Kingsley.

Again? Oh, man.

Ah, don't sweat it, little man.

Ah, don't worry. She can't hurt you from up there, little buddy.

Ah, he's great.

Ah, he's right, Mick.

Ah, high school's the best.

Ah, I got so excited, I totally forgot to tell you.

Ah, well, you got a scary side, kid.

Ah, what a coincidence... Everyone's got

Ah, you didn't say off the record.

Ah, you know, standard stuff: carrots, hay.

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah! It's not that,

Ah! No!

Ah! Really?

Ah! Really?

Ah! Touchdown!

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah. "Who will love me?

Ah. Chip got a ride home.

Ah. That's it?

Ah. Worm burner.

Ai, that sauna took the wrong Jimmy.

Alba and I, we kind of had

Alba and I, we're gonna run out for a quick beer or six,

Alba and Jimmy, can I talk to the kids alone

Alba doesn't really do that anymore.

Alba is a rich

Alba is not your friend.

Alba, are you gonna help us or not?

Alba, can you please help Yulia to the guest room?

Alba, could I get another piece

Alba, did you know about this?

Alba, don't come at me with that.

Alba, I have this perfect guy,

Alba, listen to me. You got to trust me right now, okay?

Alba, not now, okay? I'm in the middle of something. Hit.

Alba, oh, God, I am never gonna be happy.

Alba, she busted her hump in the kitchen all day.

Alba, this is delicious. Is this eggplant?

Alba, wake up!

Alba, wake up!

Alba, we each need to put something in the bag,

Alba, what are you doing?

Alba, what song are you gonna sing later?

Alba, when you get a chance to party at a place like this,

Alba, where did you get mushrooms?

Alba, you know I don't eat red meat.

Alba, you smoked?

ALBA: Well, I'm just happy

Alba!

Alba!

Alba!

Alba!

Alba! Alba!

Alba? Oh.

Alba? To what do I owe this pleasure?

Alba? Why is your phone on the Guatemala Wikipedia page?

Alba.

Alba.

Alba.

Alba.

Alba. Are you drunk?

Alba. Focus, okay?

Alba. Super not white.

Alba. What's going on?

Alba's Guatemalan.

Alba's really going for it lately, huh?

Alcoholic.

Alfie, Alfie. Save it, all right?

Aliens is a way better movie.

Aliens is a way better movie.

All cozy in my bed.

All I'm saying is, I never yelled a racial slur

All in all, I think that's one for the win column, huh?

All kinds of nasty side effects.

All of it... propaganda being pushed by Big Tooth,

All over their found objects,

All right,

All right,

All right, all right.

All right, all right. Yeah.

All right, and Kai,

All right, and now for the finale of the tour,

All right, are we talking about the same Sabrina?

All right, before the high wears off.

All right, coast is clear.

All right, come on, as if you weren't using me

All right, enough is enough.

All right, enough.

All right, everybody out.

All right, everyone just pull it together! Grow up!

All right, everyone keep their eyes peeled

All right, fine, fine. Ben can return to Lockwood.

All right, fine, geez, we won't kiss.

All right, fine, I'll squish it.

All right, fine.

All right, fine. I'll admit it, at first,

All right, got it, I got it.

All right, guys.

All right, here you go.

All right, huh?

All right, I checked the tree house. He wasn't there. Did you find him?

All right, I was able to scalp

All right, I'll take yours.

All right, let me have it. How bad is it?

All right, let's go, come on.

All right, listen,

All right, listen, I brought you guys here because I,

All right, look, first of all,

All right, mom of the year's got a head start,

All right, next up, Sabrina Pemberton.

All right, no... Please do not feed me to the wolves.

All right, now, just keep these handlebars straight

All right, play it cool. We're going to make her look

All right, prove it.

All right, run away, little muskrat.

All right, so, um, tell me something.

All right, that's different. That's different.

All right, that's different. That's different.

All right, that's on you.

All right, that's... that's not the point, okay?

All right, the point is, uh,

All right, time to stop being prey and start being a predator.

All right, um, how much do you want for being their aunt?

All right, we get it.

All right, we wake up in a few hours...

All right, well, go in there

All right, well, Hamilton wasn't Puerto Rican,

All right, well, just hear me out, okay?

All right, well, the point is,

All right, well, uh...

All right, well, where's Alba? She's got the stuff.

All right, what do we call this...

All right, who wants some pie?

All right, word to Big Bird, bro.

All right, you guys need to leave.

All right, you guys.

All right, you guys.

All right, you know what? I don't want to have

All right, you know, I can explain this.

All right, you listen to me, you son of a bitch...

All right? And to tell you the truth,

All right? Come on. Let's go.

All right? Fine. There.

All right? Hey, you're doing fine.

All right? I don't feel like babysitting.

All right? Let's just talk about this. We're all here.

All right? This is my one shot

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Come with me.

All right. Fine. I'm driving somewhere.

All right. Fine. I'm driving somewhere.

All right. First things first.

All right. Guys, listen.

All right. Guys, listen.

All right. It's time to go, gentlemen.

All right. Now, I want you

All right. Now, just keep your feet on the pedals

All right. Only take a second.

All right. She'll be all right.

All right. So I guess we're done, so...

All right. Some radio?

All right. Take a breath.

All right. This is an important night for me.

All right. Well, I don't know what you want me to do.

All right. Well, I don't know what you want me to do.

All right. Well, uh, look,

All right. Well, uh, look,

All right. Well, wolves don't quit.

All right. What is it?

All right. What the hell.

All righty.

All righty.

All that good stuff.

All that stuff you said was really inspiring.

All the girls at my school are stupid trolls!

All the kids outside, right?

All the other ants would just be running around like kooks.

All the women hate me. You picking up on that?

All you got to do is just close your eyes,

Also focused.

Also, the words "Fernando," "plane," and "go bag."

Also, the words "Fernando," "plane," and "go bag."

Am I grounded, too?

Am I right, Ben?

Am I right?

An awful lot with Omicron... Wouldn't you rather hang

An experienced jockey riding that horse.

An infection like that could leach into

An injury is always the safest bet.

An owl, it's our mascot.

And a babysitting job,

And a whole friggin' house to put it all in.

And a winning ticket for the sixth race.

And all these ants around on the side, those are worker ants.

And also 'cause I don't totally have a firm grasp on it myself.

And an eight ball in the glove box.

And and do it.

And and then I take a nice swing back

And and then I take a nice swing back

And around and around,

And ask for stuff, okay? Deal?

And assault a man.

And bad breath, yellow teeth,

And bad little ants, they get squished.

And because of you, she just blasted it

And betray an innocent boy.

And butt out of mine?

And by the time they're done with you,

And by the way, your principal's a real tool.

And change into our PJs?

And Chip will finally see her

And Chip, such a dashing young gentleman.

And come back decent human beings.

And crapped in your cereal.

And do not come back.

And do what your Aunt Mickey says.

And do whatever you want all day.

And do you hear me complaining about it?

And don't give me one of your sissy taps, either, okay?

And don't ruin them!

And either way, guess what they're gonna find?

And everybody knows that it's what's on the inside

And everyone called you Sabrina Pooperton?

And feed him gummy bears.

And feeding him.

And fleeing the country without saying good bye,

And fortunately, you've got the entire walk home

And Geno's got the raddest freaking dong in school.

And get the best surprise

And get the hell out of our house.

And have humongous boobs.

And have them with your ginseng and milk thistle lozenges?

And he always pooped on the floor.

And he is gonna go live in a group home,

And he is really giving your aunt and I

And he just... never came back.

And he talks like a robot.

And he will be walking through that door in three, two...

And he's certainly not thriving under our supervision.

And he's eating crayons?

And he's leaving in three days.

And he's leaving in three days.

And he's the only one who can fit in the attic.

And her little salty troll. Is Ben in there?

And here he comes in three, two...

And high fructose corn syrup.

And hit up the hookah bars.

And how am I supposed to make anything good

And I am deciding that we're going to the hospital.

And I am so sorry that your parents aren't here,

And I avoid hot and colds. My body is my dentist.

And I basically hate

And I believe in you the most, okay? Really focus.

And I come back to a pyromaniac daughter.

And I did. I brought you here. I didn't realize

And I don't need you and I don't need this robe.

And I eat oysters.

And I feel like I came across kind of naggy.

And I guarantee this is gonna crap

And I just wanted to say that we've all been there,

And I know that you're going through a lot right now,

And I like hanging out with you and stuff.

And I love you.

And I put my name down with the doorwoman.

And I put my name down with the doorwoman.

And I reached for my seven iron and then I switched to a six,

And I rip it, right?

And I say no one gets it.

And I say no one gets it.

And I stole this from your desk.

And I think you're dumb.

And I thought I overshot it, I really did,

And I took full advantage of the free part for you.

And I totally bagged Dylan.

And I want to know every single thing about you,

And I will dispose of them when I am finished with them.

And I will explain the rest later.

And I will ruin him.

And I will sue the whole department.

And I would like to fix this with you guys,

And I would love to just... sit down like a civilized family...

And I'd make a great dad.

And I'll be out of your hair.

And I'll meet you outside.

And I'll meet you outside.

And I'll walk you through it, okay?

And I'm crossing every single item off of this list.

And I'm gonna get a vasectomy.

And I'm like, "That's good.

And I'm like, "That's good.

And I'm really sorry about that.

And I'm sorry, but I've told you a hundred times,

And I'm sure there's nothing to worry about,

And I'm the one that's unfit to be in charge?

And I'm yelling at him to pull over, right?

And I'm yelling at him to pull over, right?

And I've been slacking off.

And if he keeps hanging out with you, that won't happen.

And if I can fight injustice and slam my foot up her ass

And if we need any fun facts about gravel,

And if you can't see that, you can burn in hell.

And if you decide that you don't want me around,

And if you guys are all done

And if you guys are all done

And if you need anything at all,

And instead you buy drinks for hundreds of people?

And intolerable conversation.

And is bringing them home.

And is bringing them home.

And it causes blood clots.

And it is up to him to decide if you live your eternal life

And it rolled right in.

And jamming asses with a strange grown man.

And just keep pedaling once I let you go, okay?

And just like that,

And just not have to deal with anything.

And left them with a total stranger,

And let me tell you something about your kids,

And let them know that you fled the country

And listen, like...

And mad.

And my back is slick with a river of sweat.

And no one would mess with you no more.

And nobody to answer to.

And nobody wants just this.

And not that

And nothing I do is ever good enough.

And now he's a little sticky.

And now I hide the patches in my first aid kit in my room

And now I'd like to say a few words.

And now she can sleep in those scratchy sheets.

And now, that's leaking into our ecosystem.

And once all this is gone, Alba, all that's left is this.

And once our little songbird finds his perfect perch,

And one of 'em drops it.

And over Mickey, too.

And Pamela Pemberton for fraud.

And play poker all night long,

And round and round it goes.

And round and round we'll go in this cruel little game of wits.

And say this was not my idea.

And seal the deal,

And see, it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep, right?

And sells her ovaries.

And she had these huge, crazy, fake boobs.

And she has betrayed Mommy's trust.

And she's currently enjoying

And so finally, the Jew says to the Mormon,

And so I want to take it slow. Okay?

And so I want to take it slow. Okay?

And so it begins.

And so, y you know, this was bound to happen.

And stab him in his face a bunch of times. Sound good?

And Steffi booted my nuts into my throat.

And still be miserable.

And sure as I'm standing here breathing,

And take care of all my downstairs...

And take your frickin' shoes off.

And take your frickin' shoes off.

And tell me which tooth is bothering me.

And that, my friend...

And that's Dylan.

And that's when I found him.

And the detoxifying seaweed.

And the faces of his bastard children

And the games, and all the whatnots

And the more that I think about it, it's not the worst thing

And the next, vile, wretched creatures

And the public school, but it's, like, 40 minutes away.

And the water shot out of his nose!

And then he brought me and my mother back to the States.

And then he slipped in the barf, and then I woke up.

And then I am done.

And then I had to run away when it was time to pay,

And then I just come riding up ripped.

And then I screamed for help, but no one came,

And then I'm going to sue the school for negligence.

And then I'm just gonna slip out of here, unnoticed,

And then it hits me.

And then it hits me.

And then on his shoes

And then the monster ripped my guts out,

And then this ab thing, that is icing on the cake.

And then we came home one day

And then we'll be in business. Nice work!

And then we'll sue their asses for defamation,

And then you're all confused about what happened?

And then...

And then... and then...

And then... and then...

And they just wanted to see

And they're expecting a gunshot victim.

And they're not coming back.

And this is Chip, you already met Chip, right? The other day.

And this is from the gentleman at the bar.

And this is the bedroom.

And this is the bedroom.

And this is the best you can do?

And this perfect little family and I'm not happy.

And this whole art thing is a waste of my time.

And threw you in a cage?

And tickle her ass a little bit,

And to whistle.

And turn yourself in and get our boob back.

And uncut.

And violence won by a landslide.

And wandered into the woods to...

And watch the planes land.

And we are very sorry about that.

And we call it even, huh?

And we do hope you find her.

And we have files in this house to prove it.

And we skip the part where you perform

And we were doing a boob thing.

And we were doing a boob thing.

And we will be back in... what do you think, two hours?

And we will.

And we'll light this place up.

And we'll make a good memory.

And we're fixing up the tree house in the woods.

And we're going to have a baby.

And we're gonna give 'em one.

And we're not stopping.

And we're tossing her in the bushes.

And we've had this amazing week together.

And what am I supposed to do with it?

And what do they hate?

And what do you do? You just swat 'em away!

And when it does,

And when the universe gives you a sign,

And where did Mom and Dad go on their honeymoon?

And where did Mom and Dad go on their honeymoon?

And where might you two be going?

And where's the "S" for "straight"?

And who's Omicron?

And why didn't anyone tell me we have a country club?

And why is he still here?

And why is he wearing my cashmere turtleneck?

And won the tournament,

And you actually stick it up your...

And you also not get hurt.

And you are a moron, Sabrina.

And you are in section 339, row double Q.

And you are, uh...

And you can do whatever this is, for all I care.

And you can't see 'em anymore.

And you can't.

And you do?

And you guys are acting like it's King Arthur's sword.

And you guys are not gonna blow it for me... understood?

And you have to sleep in the yard.

And you know what else you don't have?

And you know what we're gonna do first?

And you need... just... and...

And you need... just... and...

And you put the grinder above your own brother's safety?

And you should see Sabrina. Oh, my... oh, there she is.

And you, eh...

And you, my friend, are a prime target.

And you'll be just fine.

And you'll be sorry.

And you're a good guy, right?

And you're drunk.

And you're interrupting.

And you've been trapped here ever since?

And young and hot.

And young and hot.

And, Ben, I want you to have something.

And, like, ten minutes before they go onstage,

And, like, you're super freakin' chill and, like,

And, uh, if you need me, eh...

And, uh, little Miss Rosemary Kennedy here

And, uh, oh, the population is 12.7 million.

And, uh, that'll be $86.78.

And, uh, we were on the grass

And... and I want to let you know that

And... and I want to let you know that

And... I wanted to sing and show you

And... wreak havoc on my insides.

Animals.

Animals.

Annoying Orange! Annoying Orange!

Another win for Toronto.

Answers.

Antidepressants.

Any chance Mickey's fixing my first one?

Any other fun surprises, by the way?

Anybody there?

Anybody!

Anybody! Help!

Anything anyone wants to do or wear, I'm cool with.

Anything that gets in our way.

Anything you think we could use as a potential lawsuit.

Anything?

Anyway, give me a call.

Anyway, I need you to be brave for me, son.

Anyway, I need you to be brave for me, son.

Anyway, I'm gonna go beast on this Kung Pao

Anyway, uh, thanks for letting me

Anyway, uh, thanks for letting me

Anyway...

Are back, things can finally go back to the way they were.

Are Mommy and Daddy dead, too.

Are they angry 'cause they're bad musicians?

Are we going home now? Ah!

Are we hunting for our food?

Are you blind?!

Are you doing here?

Are you eating out of the toilet?

Are you friggin' serious?!

Are you giving me parenting advice?

Are you gonna break your promise?

Are you gonna help us or not?

Are you insane?

Are you insane? Take him back to school right this second,

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

Are you living in my place?

Are you looking at the tuna fish one?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

Are you ready to roll?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

Are you serious? Do you have any idea

Are you serious? Lesbian Gay

Are you talking about my birth control?

Are you talking about that?

Are you the father?

Are you?

Are you... are you leaving? Leave. Get out of here.

Aren't he and Grandma Tippy, like, 100 years old?

Aren't they... Isn't he cute?

Aren't they... Isn't he cute?

Aren't used to having rules,

Aren't you their money manager?

Around here when you were his age?

Around my house, stinking up the place.

As "Vito's Pizzeria."

As a Jimmy Buffet concert.

As a little girl, so my culture

As far as I'm concerned, you can all get cancer.

As fast as we can.

As if you would've read it.

As long as I'm here, I have two jobs:

As long as I'm here, you and me, we're equals.

As much as anybody else.

As much time on a yacht as I do, you tend to become immune

As much time on a yacht as I do, you tend to become immune

As soon as we can.

As untrustworthy crooks.

As you can see, there are plenty of stories here

As you can see, we are shocked, okay,

Asking me to sanitize Biggie's art, that's racist.

At ease, gentlemen.

At least he's a hot loser.

At least he's alive, sort of. Wake up!

At least I understand the plight of diverse people.

At least I'm, like, coming up with stuff here, you know?

At least one voice of reason in that room.

At least she appreciated a healthy rivalry.

At least she's been here.

At least we found Ben.

At my therapist's office.

At one of our tables.

At the same time, then that's a win.

At you guys, huh?

At your face. You're grossing Mommy out.

Aunt Mackenzie.

Aunt Mickey,

Aunt Mickey, do something! I'm scared!

Aunt Mickey, I had a nightmare.

Aunt Mickey, I really got to go.

Aunt Mickey, I'm hungry.

Aunt Mickey, open up! Quick!

Aunt Mickey, this is awesome.

Aunt Mickey!?

Aunt Mickey?

Aunt Mickey's scaring me.

Auntie loves you all day long.

Aw, come...

Aw, sweet.

Aw, these guys are upset 'cause

Aw.

Awe... some.

Awesome.

Ay, Benny, come on.

Ay, the system where you take someone's kid,

Ay, vamos a limpiar.

Ay. Oh, my mind is in pain.

Ay. What was wrong with your old knees?

Babbling on about how you're the boss.

Babbling on about how you're the boss.

Babe, babe, look at me, okay. Listen to me, I love you.

Babe, do you need anything?

Babe, I am...

Babe, that's so great. I'm really happy for you.

Baby got a big old butt!

Back in the old days, dentists weren't even a thing.

Back off, Alba, okay? I'm doing my plan.

Back off, Alba. You don't get it.

Back off, Alba. You don't get it.

Back off.

Back outside...

Back to you in a minute, you're gonna get it back.

Back's kind of starting to cramp up, too. I got to be honest,

Bad news flying in, see...

Barbers took care of everything above the shoulders.

Barry, you've been overruled.

Battery.

Be a good girl and do as Grandma says.

Be brave.

Be driving the Speedster.

Be smart. Be stealthy.

Be so teeny tiny and delicious.

Be still, Fernando. We shouldn't...

Be too painful."

Beats me, that was your choice.

Because everybody thinks

Because he's not a pirate.

Because he's not a pirate.

Because I am embarrassed.

Because I don't believe in the police.

Because I feel more confident with them, all right?

Because I get it, condoms suck.

Because I own you.

Because I want to.

Because I'm a pig?

Because I'm sure they didn't

Because in over 30 years in this business,

Because in over 30 years in this business,

Because it's a specialized skill.

Because it's my bank.

Because my body developed slow.

Because my number was in their phone.

Because my number was in their phone.

Because of you!

Because she didn't want to fire her.

Because she's busy sitting on it,

Because she's reliable and she's down for anything.

Because that's the last of my chips.

Because the last time we woke him up,

Because their mouth becomes the butt,

Because then I wouldn't...

Because they're different than us.

Because they're disgusting, and they cause

Because we were waiting for that

Because you always say the same stuff

Because you are my new friend.

Because you ate them.