Preacher - Season 1 Edit

A baby seat?

A beloved cultural figure like that

A big ol' West Texas hello.

A c c cow in a maze.

A girl doesn't always need some stupid guy helping her.

A machine gonna let people drink saltwater.

A man's heart plans his way...

A massive security breach.

A plot subtracted is a hectare added

A power.

A prophet!

A Starbucks in the lobby?

A woman needs to know how to be strong and stand on her own.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Aah! Ohh!

Absolutely.

Afraid of the cross?

Afraid the police won't be much help here.

After 40 long nights on that ark,

After everything that family's gone through.

After today, I'm never gonna be the same.

Ah?

Ah.

Ahem.

Air conditioner, um, odd jobs.

Air conditioner's still broken.

All need to move into the future,

All of it it is.

All right, 2.47 acres of feedlot space

All right, all right.

All right, all right.

All right, more units, more positions.

All right, my pretties.

All right, question two...

All right, well, come on, then, will ya?

All right?

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Well, go on, then. Ask me.

All that's left to do now is dig a wee spot of sod,

All the don't wanna in the world is not gonna change this,

All them years I was a knocker,

All things bein' equal, I'd rather have single malt.

All those things, you know, we weren't doing before, but...

Alls that's left to do is go over there and get him,

Always a strong suit.

Always been fond of Walter.

Am I not just that? [Laughs]

An ancient contract 'neath these new landscapes and particulars,

And a pair of frickin' Birkenstocks

And as long as you don't act on those urges.

And be honest.

And come off to these parts.

And eat him alive.

And give Annville's adorable, politically correct new mascot

And go ahead and finish the goddamn job!

And God asked unto him, he said,

And gone, Right, angels,

And he says, Hey, man, she don't want me lookin',

And he warns Rasta,

And he'll get what he deserves.

And he's gonna say yes.

And here are your oven mitts back.

And his name is the word of God!

And honestly, boys, I don't know how you keep finding me.

And I couldn't stop him.

And I don't give a shit what he thinks.

And I know...

And I think that The Big Lebowski's overrated.

And I... I can't have any trouble.

And I... I need you to visit the Loaches.

And I'll do somethin' desperate, I swear to God.

And I'm currently on the run

And I'm just waiting for this asshole to ditch his job

And if I said exactly when, I'd be a liar...

And in need of a savior?

And is seated at the right hand of the Father?

And it's only a matter of time

And made payable to the righteous.

And maybe I'll do some of those things to your daddy.

And my point is if he gets the homework done quickly,

And no means no.

And Noah said unto God,

And not expect it to go over like shit on cold biscuit.

And not just the kind of I took half a sheet of LSD

And now he's acting like he's not.

And one day we deliver a Komodo dragon to the buyer,

And screw his brains out.

And she knows that.

And sits there waitin' for you when you wake up.

And so on and so forth and et cetera.

And some of you might be askin' what the heck football has to do

And sooner or later,

And speech is shallow as time.

And stop actin' like a bunch of...

And that player looked at him, and he did.

And the black beauties. We've been patient.

And the casserole.

And the like.

And then... and then turn the... the tub on.

And there before me was a white horse

And there's one more coming. He's in the bathroom.

And they're realizin'...

And this is Jerry Cutler, President of Green Acres.

And violence... makes violence.

And we told you this repeatedly.

And we'll be back very soon, so...

And what is it, then?

And when I does, somethin' will happen.

And whoever's messin' with the sign outside...

And you, Mr. Mayor, you really raked me over the coals.

And you, you finally found him and he still won't go?

And you're all alone.

And you've been using it... a lot.

And your boyfriend said no to this?

And, I mean, this is the time

And, over and over,

And, uh... now it's my time.

And, um, I think Mr. Quincannon, too.

And... and...

Any how...

Any more questions

Any more trouble.

Any sod eyed muppet with a bloody backpack

Anyone were listenin', I would.

Anyway, no regrets so far.

Anyway...

Anyway...

Apart from that, turnout not too bad, huh?

Apothecary: You have yourself a good morning, now.

Are we going steady now?

Are you insane?!

As a bonus, there's an old feller passed out in the back.

As follower of the Holy Spirit?

As in the sky above?

Ask if he's seen any injuns, Pa.

At least when you're gone, I can feed it to my dogs.

Aw, Christ.

Aw, man.

Awesome!

Barrel of bonkers from Bangor, Maine,

Be here.

Be honest with her, Ted.

Be honest with her.

Be one of the good guys.

Because in exchange for this map,

Because now it's high time to make amends.

Before you were a preacher...

Bein' as they are these days,

Believe me.

Besides, you said so yourself...

Betsy: A 66?

Betsy: Donnie!

Betsy: Feeling better?

Betsy: Money's always tight, but I'll see what I can do.

Bill: This is a recurring issue for us.

Billy: [Echoing] Mom, no.

Billy: Mom, no.

Bites me...

Blows his brains out.

Boring's not the worst thing a person can be, Cassidy.

Both of you.

Boy: Awesome!

Brings 25, 30 units online.

Broken down piece of junk.

Buenas tardes.

Busiest I've seen it in a long time.

But Bad Boy doesn't like it.

But could you pray with Tracy first?

But for Coach Tom Landry...

But fun, huh?

But funny, right?

But his power...

But I do know that I'm too old to be playing games, so...

But I do know that you're going to be sorry you did.

But I got my own job to do,

But I guessed.

But I heard Donnie there...

But I just... I've got to be careful.

But I will call you later.

But I'm 10. I'm in charge.

But I'm doin' it without you.

But I'm done cryin' about it.

But I've never, not one time,

But it won't burn me face off.

But its terms are everlasting

But just at the last second, at the very last second,

But my friends all call me Tulip.

But now we're out of time.

But Rasta's got some balls,

But someday...

But the Lord directs his steps.

But there's... there's nothing I can do, Bets.

But this country... mm.

But unfortunately, that's all they are.

But we are not afraid.

But we're ranking the gospels.

But with the crowds and all, I...

But yet you refuse to release that rooster from your grasp?

But you drink blood?

But you've been real quiet, haven't you?

But, no, I I think that kind of discourse is healthy.

But, now, that's no excuse,

But, this being a small town,

But, uh, weather broke

But, um, yesterday there was a case and a half communion wine

But, yeah, this is a good day.

But... someday the light of the Lord

But... yeah, I'm available.

Butchers...

Call.

Callin' all the shots around here,

Calm down! I brought him here!

Can be fun. I get... I get it.

Can be.

Can I borrow a room tonight?

Can I have a word with you, Preacher?

Can we finish this later?

Can you pass me the red tape, please?

Can't act on the urges.

Can't forget her, you know?

Carlos.

Cassidy. Wh What does he even do in here?

Cassidy's sort of... of disgusting, rude, childish thing

Cathy. Bill.

Chrissakes.

Client of Dany wants it.

Clive?

Coffee machine descaler, and a bit of shite I found

Comanche warrior.

Comanche warrior.

Come back to us.

Come on out, now.

Come on, boys.

Come on, Donnie. Come on.

Come on, Jesse. I already got the map.

Come on, just a little closer.

Come on, son. Let's leave them be

Come on, then.

Come on, yeah, huh?

Come on.

Come. Sit with us.

Comes with a $5 bottle of whiskey.

Coming to kill you?

Confidential, that's right.

Considerin' I just read

Crazy, eh? It's quite the moment for...

Cut his freakin' balls off,

Cut the crap.

Cut up my food?

Dany's client's gonna give us some information.

Day after day pain.

Definitely.

Degenerational turpitude.

Did you know Mr. Quincannon was at church on Sunday?

Did you know Quincannon was gonna be there?

Dinner's gettin' cold.

Dinner's just on.

Do I get all your money or just some of it?

Do not wind me up, asshole.

Do you agree? Yes or no?

Do you believe that Jesus Christ suffered death,

Do you know what? He has a plan for me, too.

Do you promise to live

Do you remember Russell in accounting,

Doctors say she can still hear,

Does he know you work at the whorehouse?

Doesn't give her the right to tell me how to bring up my kid...

Doesn't make sense.

Doesn't make sense.

Doesn't mean I can't still, [Clears throat] you know...

Don't be like that.

Don't come out till the noises stop.

Don't know where there's a hardware store nearby,

Don't laugh.

Don't make me teach you, then.

Don't spill it! Don't spill it!

Don't tell me you're here

Don't worry.

Don't worry. We'll be back soon.

Don't you want to call the police, then?

Don't you worry about Preacher.

Don't.

Donnie, come on, man, what are you doing?

Donnie. Come on!

Donnie's fine.

Donnie's up in Pecos

Door's open.

Down at the bullfight last night kind of sorry, neither.

Dripping out the back of the air conditioning unit.

Drivin' us batty.

DT's so bad he can't button his shirt.

Eugene told me that h he left you some messages?

Eugene wanted to see me?

Eugene, get outta that car!

Eugene!

Even better.

Every morning, every afternoon,

Exactly, yeah. She's intruding.

Exactly?

Excuse me?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Fight like a lion to keep it alive.

Flavour Station.

Fold.

For a Mexican cartel down in Miami...

For goodness' sake.

For instance... Me and this bad boy,

For me and this town.

Forget her.

Forget her.

Forget her.

Forget who?

Forgive me, O Lord, but I cannot stop stroking my cock.

From a group of vampire hunting religious vigilantes

From your place later.

Get away from him now,

Get him off!

Get him to come help.

Get me out of here right now.

Get me out of here.

Get off... Get off your backside.

Get outta here.

Get who?

Gettysburg.

Giggling with her friends.

Girls.

Give me that map!

Go easy tonight.

Go to hell, abomination.

God, you ask a lot of questions.

God!

Good mornin'.

Good morning, ladies.

Good.

Got to bundle up... sleeves, hat, shades, and that.

Got wasted so bad he drove through a parking lot

Got you a present.

Got your attention, didn't I?

Guys, I've never met you before in my life.

Guys, I've seen a lot of weird stuff in my life.

Hard day at the office, dear? Huh?

Have it ready for you tomorrow.

He beats me.

He betrayed you,

He could have the church.

He doesn't live here. I don't live here.

He doesn't work at the whorehouse.

He doesn't work, he sleeps all day.

He gets extra screen time.

He has a plan for you, does He?

He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood,

He looked down at that player and he looked up,

He made me do things,

He made me put a gun in my mouth,

He relies on you.

He said to serve God, Donnie,

He said...

He scalded me with the tea kettle.

He screwed us.

He sins worse, and he's got it comin'.

He was askin' about you,

He wronged you,

He, um...

He...

He'd a said.

He's at his job. At the whorehouse?

He's denying who he is, and that's my problem.

He's ever come up with.

He's gonna fight back.

He's mean to your mom.

He's still here?

He's took time out of his busy schedule,

He's walking the earth with a face like an arsehole.

Heard of God fittin' himself into a can of Old Timer.

Heaven...

Hello, Pedro the Prairie Dog!

Hello.

Hello. It's me.

Hello. It's me... Fiore.

Hello. It's me... Fiore.

Help how?

Help out with your daddy.

Help us out and break the tie?

Here's my plan for Jesse Custer.

Hey, Dany.

Hey, Eugene.

Hey, guys.

Hey, mister! Hey! Howdy, cowboy!

Hey, mister.

Hey, Mos.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey! Take it to the back.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. I remember you now.

Hey. No thanks.

His plan for me is to let you know

Hm?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Hon...

Honest?

How am I ever gonna compete with all this excitement?

How are our collection numbers?

How are you tonight?

How could I lose?

How dare you show your face here?

How did you wankers find me, then?

How does he hurt you?

How far do I go?

How hurt you want him?

How'd you wankers find me, then?

How's everything else?

How's he doin' these days?

How's he doin'?

How's that workin' out for you?

Hugo: Who's back there?

Huh...

Hurts me all the time.

I ain't gonna shoot you.

I am 119 year old vampire from Dublin City.

I am the chosen one.

I appreciate you checkin' in.

I bet him if he wasn't a Christian by the end of the service,

I can tell by the face you're making,

I can't just go wandering out.

I can't say how...

I can't!

I did it to myself.

I do.

I don't hate you, Tulip.

I don't hate you.

I don't know about that.

I don't know what it looked like.

I don't know what to call it,

I don't know why or what her problem is

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't like him.

I don't understand.

I don't work at the whorehouse.

I don't... I don't really know what...

I don't... I don't want that.

I don't... I don't... I don't have any. Yeah.

I figured you might want to talk to her.

I fold.

I got a real problem could use some help.

I got defensive, I pulled my pants down, and...

I got eyes, Gary.

I hate it.

I have a boyfriend.

I have a gift.

I have changed.

I have no money.

I have no transport.

I have. I've fallen hard.

I hear you pretty much suck at it.

I I don't know how he does it,

I I... Like, it's the same old story.

I I'll give them a call today.

I I've fallen for yeh, Tulip.

I imagine that's a key demographic for you.

I imagine there's worse things that could happen.

I imagine they'll be singing songs about it.

I just Abe Lincoln ed that squirrel!

I just did.

I just lost an argument with some kobe sliders.

I know it's early, but...

I know that deep down, you're a bad, bad man.

I know what you did to Donnie Schenck.

I know you're scared.

I know, but he sins, too.

I know.

I know.

I like having you around.

I like it.

I like it.

I like Swiss cheese.

I like The Big Lebowski.

I like the carrot, not the stick.

I love Chinese food.

I make it my business to know who's who and what's what.

I mean, cutting your own heart out,

I mean, doing it in front of your own mom...

I mean, I just had to come out of that thing, you know?

I mean, I'm not responsible for the fact

I mean, just because I made what I now realize

I mean, more than my fair share.

I mean, some folks say too quiet, but not me.

I mean, what does it matter to her

I mean, who can blame him?

I mean, you're not allowed to.

I mean... he is, but you know, mostly...

I meant to reach out after church Sunday,

I messed up the middle bit. [Sighs]

I must confess to a portion of unease on it.

I need a new briefcase anyway.

I need a room.

I need a word with him.

I never seen a man more in love with killing than you.

I promise, Daddy.

I put the gun in my mouth, and... and he made me do it.

I reacted.

I really thought that T.J. was south of Vegas.

I said I'm not doin' it.

I said no.

I say let's just let that continue.

I say no screen time unless the homework's done first.

I say, No way. Gotta be John.

I sleep here sometimes. I hang at the whorehouse.

I tend to agree with you.

I think boring's the worst.

I think the gospel you like

I think the key here is [Echoing] be patient.

I think you're wrong.

I thought you were this other guy.

I told it it can't come in.

I told them.

I told you never come back.

I told you to forget her.

I told you you come back here, I'd kill you!

I took the scenic route

I understand.

I understand...

I want to go.

I want you to hurt him.

I was hoping to talk to you about something.

I was just a foolish old man who didn't want to face reality.

I was just a...

I was with the 8th Ohio.

I wasn't thinking anything.

I will listen to a formal complaint.

I will.

I won't, baby.

I wouldn't know how.

I... am the prophet.

I... I cocked the trigger, and I I was gonna pull it,

I... I d do. I do, totally.

I... I was this close to doing something the other day.

I... I...

I... I... everything I said to you in there,

I... I'm in the middle of South West Nowhere here,

I... I'm repenting.

I... I'm sick, you know? I'm addicted.

I... Yeah.

I'd like to pray with her.

I'd like to try somethin'.

I'd pray.

I'd steer clear of the head a day or three there, gents.

I'll ask him.

I'll find that. Yeah.

I'll go start the cappuccino.

I'll kill you, you murderer!

I'll kill you!

I'll listen to a formal complaint

I'll make a pot of coffee.

I'll need to defend myself.

I'll see what I can do.

I'll talk to him.

I'm a right handed Sagittarius.

I'm a soul saving preacher now,

I'm changed.

I'm fine, Mama.

I'm fine.

I'm going to Houston to meet Dany for the exchange,

I'm gonna ask you to do this job.

I'm gonna go in there, take him into a bathroom stall,

I'm gonna try harder.

I'm happy to hear it.

I'm jokin' about.

I'm just another shit faced Irishman, am I not?

I'm just finishin' up.

I'm not doing jobs anymore.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm runnin' dangerously low on drugs.

I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry, Jesse.

I'm sorry, too.

I'm starting to feel me toes again here.

I'm sure He does.

I'm sure it's the job to end all jobs, Tulip.

I'm sure that's the least of what you done.

I'm waitin' on a part for that.

I'm worried about the van, not Cassidy.

I'm... I'm happy to have you here.

I'mma shoot the lizard in the face.

I've asked around, and, you're right, they're highly regarded.

I've been shortsighted.

I've been thinking and, uh...

I've been wonderin' who taught you how to fight like that.

I've just been going around to parishioners and askin'.

I've never seen the Pacific Ocean.

If Donnie ever hurt you, as a for instance...

If they find out that we're down here without permission?

If things weren't fine...

If you don't get outta bed right this second,

If you don't mind...

If you really want to help,

If you want to be there, you should be.

If you're lucky enough to fall in love,

Imagine a couple punches just gonna make him mad.

In private?

In the end, the change in us always comes from God.

In the supply closet, and today...

Indeed it is.

Indeed.

Injun scalps ain't near so greasy.

Into a petting zoo.

Into one other's eyes, and he frowned.

Is gonna go on about that donkey show, man.

Is he coming home soon? I'd love to meet him.

Is it Dave? Look, Dave. Listen to me now.

Is that what you want, kid?

Is there a direction you might point me in?

Is there another?

Is this an ear?

Is worth more than all the words in the world.

Isn't that funny there?

It ain't.

It can be scary sometimes.

It lives in there.

It made me in my mind!

It makes nothing much at all.

It smells like somethin' died in here.

It was childish.

It was my fault, not his.

It.

It...

It'd be a hell of a partnership.

It'd be a hell of a partnership.

It'd be nice to get the air conditionin' fixed.

It'll make everything go easier.

It's a 2,000 year old symbol

It's a new direction for you and your company,

It's a promise.

It's a wild world out there.

It's about my dad.

It's all we can do.

It's always my fault,

It's fine, Eugene.

It's God.

It's good to be back, right?

It's good. [Clears throat]

It's her favorite. Or, at least, it was.

It's here.

It's his dinner.

It's just near the bank on the left.

It's just that me Granny B. back in Dublin,

It's kind of your job, ain't it?

It's me you're lookin' for, right?

It's more than just trees and rivers.

It's moved into my chest.

It's my church now.

It's my fault. Lack of vision on my part.

It's my lunch.

It's no trouble.

It's not me.

It's not the...?

It's okay. [Sighs]

It's okay. I promise.

It's Preacher.

It's the only way we're gonna get him

It's too late, Eugene.

It's too potent for ya. Leave it out.

It's up to you.

It's... oh, it's bad news.

Jerry Cutler, nice to meet you.

Jesse Custer's church?

Jesse, this isn't just any old gig.

Jesse: Daddy.

Jesse: So, you feel that she's intruding?

Jesse: This is it.

Jesse: Unfortunately, church finances

Jesse.

Jesus Christ!

Jesus is Lord.

Jesus is my savior.

Jesus take your wheel?

Just be patient.

Just go to bed, Eugene.

Just keep trying.

Just kidding.

Just like a tornado, okay?

Just massive security breach, but everything's under control,

Just run around, do whatever whenever you want.

Just sitting behind me with her little backpack on,

Just to review and make sure we understand...

Just up late talkin'.

Just wanted to let everyone know we're on top of the situation.

Just, you know, administration wise.

Keep it away from the windows. People are eating.

Keep to your affairs.

Killed two kids and a billy goat.

Lacey, let's go.

Last time I checked, that's a pass.

Let me just get this straight.

Let me see that.

Let's find you a shirt, Walter.

Let's get started.

Let's go!

Like a big screw stuck itself in your chest.

Like a said, nothin' keeping you here.

Like big ropes pulling me.

Like I'm making her wear a colostomy bag.

Like, I said, Padre...

Linus t the bus driver,

Listen to me now... it's downright naughty.

Listen, I'm really glad you all are here.

Listen, listen, boys.

Listen, speaking of, you seem to be the one

Listen... hamster del culo.

Little piece of shawarma I had earlier.

Long time ago, I slipped into despair and I lost my way.

Look at this church!

Look at this.

Look, Cass, I...

Look, I don't know exactly what's happenin' here,

Look, I don't... I don't give a damn one way or the other.

Look, I... I understand that

Look, I'm just sayin',

Look, it's... it's not my fault.

Look, listen.

Look, y you... can't do this.

Lord knows he's needed it.

Loser is... all right.

Loser.

Lost a lot of horses, too.

Macready: I know you.