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Home > Alan Partridge Super Soundboard
A bit of a maverick
A ha
A trapped boy
Access to Dixons
Actually, being your age and everything, there's probably no need for them
Afraid so
Ah come on
Ah ha
Ah ha 2
Ah ha 3
Ah ha 4
Ah ha 5
Ahhh (end of episode sigh)
Alan Attack. Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach.
Alan, I want you back on the telly
Alan's Deep Bath - Brought to you by Dettol
Alan's Funny Stories
Alans deep bath brought to you by dettol (2)
Alright Chris
And a broken home is not an excuse for evil
And from 1993, manufacturers have been legally obliged to label them 'Crab Flavoured Sticks'
And I'll be Alan Partridge!
And I'm an innocent bystander
And now it's time for Alan's Fact of the Day
And then I'll put you across my knee and smack your bare bottom
And then make a program about it
Annie Lennox
Another one of those, same time tomorrow
Another series you shit
Any messages?
Are you the crank caller?
Arm wrestling
Around the world bullnose
As I see it, God created Adam and Eve
Aye, you know, vandals
Back of the net
Back of the net
Bang and Olufsen
Bang out of order
Bank holiday
Bank holiday2
Bash your arse
Battery for an Ericsson?
Beauty sleep forty winks
Because he was depressed
Because of a threat of a court injunction
Best friends
Best full English breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding
Best valentines in eight years
Better idea, why don't you shove it up your arse?
Big eared boys
Big girls bras
Bird noise
Bit of a job for you
Blew his head off with a gun?
Bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre
Bollocks, you don't know Bono
Boys are back in the barracks
But my wife's vegetarian
Call her a fat cow then hang up
Camp hello Alan
Can I have a sniff?
Can we talk about me
Can you make pornography come on my telly please.
Catch the train to London, stopping at rejection, disappointment, backstabbing central, and shattered dreams parkway
Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here
Chinese Way, Level 42
Clean license
Cock a doodle who
Cock a doodle who
Cooking in prison
Crab sticks do not actually contain any crab
Danny Francetti's Jazz Box
Did he leave a message?
Do you deny that
Do you do that with your boyfriend?
Do you er
Do you like me doing that
Do you like me doing that?
Do you like mini kievs?
Do you like my cones?
Do you like owls?
Do you mind if I bring my guitar?
Do you mind if I talk?
Do you really?
Do you see upset zombies
Doesn't matter, she can have fish
Dosser and dwad
Dunno what you're talking about
Eeeeeey Lynn
Email of the evening
Er, there's a market...
Fascinating creatures though
Fat spotty behind in a dead man's chair
Few too many blacks
Film extravaganza
Fingerprint a sausage
First class
Flying AIDS
Forget it
Four British Isles breakfasts
Frank Sinatra
Funny stories
Get rid of it
Gill sleeping with me
Go to London, I guarantee you'll either be mugged, or not appreciated
Good onion idea
Ha ha ha, unbelieveable
Haha oh no haha
Has this kitchen been distressed?
Have I got a pierced navel?
Have you ever been to the Far East, Michael?
He didn't create Adam and Steve
He got scared and ran away
He is not Bono #bono
He was in the army and I think he saw people being blown up
Hello Alan, didn't know you'd moved in
Hello chris are you dead
Hello partridge
Hello, Dante Fires, just through there. Oooo you're going to have a good time
Hello, have you got a brain or is your head just full of s...
Hello, I've just swallowed a load of anthrax, and I'd like to let off like mad in the club bar. Can I come in?
Hello, is that Currys?
Hot topic
Hot topic short
How do you, can I...
How old are you?
Hrgggh, sex
I ate a scotch egg
I believe we've established that #already established that
I can't breathe, I can't breathe
I can't talk, I've got a fat back
I didn't quite kill him, that was the tragedy, I had to go back and kill him with a jack
I didn't want to be sick in the road
I don't find them attractive, it's just confusing
I dont find attractive
I got really drunk last night, I was sick everywhere
I have popped out again
I know you're a DJ, but I've heard your show
I like your thong
I love 'em
I love you, in a way
I saw the Golden Temple man, beautiful it was
I think it's the best idea in the world
I think that's a great idea
I thought it would have broken down by now, but I think I'm slightly constipated
I was drunk
I was in the army when I was 1
I wasn't trying to steal a traffic cone
I'd love to
I'd love to have it off with her
I'll be honest, I'm dead against it
I'll be honest, I'm pretty curious
I'll get him later
I'll have a pint of bitter!
I'll level with you, I'm really scared
I'm 43 you cheeky git!
I'm afraid I have no sheaths
I'm going to go home and just probably go straight to bed, and keep out of trouble
I'm having a barbeque, fancy coming over?
I'm joined by Alice, who's not going to shrink me into a little bottle, she's going to tell me about Hamleton's Holiday Breaks
I'm leaving you, you cow!
I've got a broad taste, from the Brit pop bands like UB40, Def Leppard, right back to classic rock like Wings
I've got a girlfriend
I've seen some terrible things mind
If they had themselves proper jobs..
Ignorant and offensive
Im confused
In fact, I think I'll go
In my underpants
Inner city sumo
It's a buildup of fatty deposits just above the belt line
It's brilliant
It's er, it's mine
It's hotter than the sun
It's hotter than the sun
It's surprising really, considering the circumstances
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park!
Jurassic Park! [Laughter]
Just the one, from Bill Oddie
King Road
Kiss my face2
Kissing me or cock
Knowing M.E., Knowing You
Kommen sie bitte, und listen to Kraftwek
Kurt Cobain
Lady shapes