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Home > The Odd Couple - Season...
Warning: This soundboard may contain objectionable content, and is Not Safe For Work (NSFW)
A couple of good spots have opened up, uh...
A little bit of food on your mouth.
A real man always takes his mama's calls
About breaking up with my first girlfriend,
Ah, yes, Dani, very nice. I like this one
All right,
All right, Felix, we can play basketball
All right, this time I'm ready for you
All right, what the hell?
All right, you can play.
Although, my first love is portraiture,
And a little nudge from their friend Felix
And at this rate, it will reach my heart in 36 hours, so...
And away from all these idiots
And don't worry, I will do my best to look surprised.
And get on with my life.
And give your kidneys permission to dance.
And I certainly don't need a lecture.
And I have just the thing.
And I think you do, too, if you could look down deep,
And I will get you pliers
And me, but you'll see that when you read the card.
And nice to know you've hit rock bottom
And now we will gracefully press on through,
And now, I make fast food look good
And Oscar Madison.
And she's never missed a Knicks home game.
And some very positive comments.
And that is gross!
And then when she finally saw it, it was all smudged,
And then you can just give me a 20
And told you the truth years ago,
And tomorrow,
And watch The Notebook tomorrow,
And we'll have a lot more because we're free
And we're going to a movie, but it doesn't start for an hour,
And yell, "Clear!" and just go to town
And you gave me that
And you're wrong about me. I do care about him
And your soul.
Annie, these things happen.
Any other symptoms I should know about?
Anyway, I'm out there gliding along,
Are you calling a paralyzed person a broken pie?
Are you kidding me?
As far as we know.
Baseball is only a small part of who you are.
Be right back.
Because his visits paid for my bathroom remodel,
Because that's what I do.
Because this
Because... that's also my thing
Better go
Blink if you're being coerced.
Both your physical and your emotional strength,
Boy, I hope people don't talk
But fair warning,
But good news:
But I can't help myself.
But I'm in the Sportscasters Hall of Fame.
But it gets better, buddy, trust me.
But it turns out, she also liked my poetry.
But it's due tomorrow, and you barely even started.
But maybe over the weekend we could have dinner.
But she doesn't, right?
But the pain comes in waves.
But working out of a single guy's spare bedroom..
But you are the winner.
But you were so good together.
By me.
Can we have that drink some other time?
Can you plug up my ear again?
Can't I just get from point "A" to point "B"
Come on, guys, this is Felix, and he needs us
Come on, Roy, let's watch the game at my place.
Cool. The girls used to do that, too
Damn it!
Damn it!
Damn my ability to read people!
DANI: I did it, Felix.
Didn't you see the sock on my doorknob?
Dinner and a show.
Do you not see the ad for teenage pregnancy up there?
Don't be a sore loser.
Don't feel obligated to buy anything.
Don't touch me!
Don't we need a picture of me for the book flap?
Dr. McManus is the last top tier doctor that will see me.
Emily, you're in charge of all unwanted hair.
Even on the orders I'm getting right
Even though we haven't been talking,
Ew! Ew! Ew! It's moving! Ew! Ew!
Ew! Open the door!
Exactly what they need..
Face it, Oscar... I'm the better athlete
Fair enough.
Feels like we lost that one.
Felix, are you okay?
Felix, do you ever think this little moratorium
Felix, you're being ridiculous.
Fellow man."
Fever, respiratory symptoms.
Finally someone noticed
For a lawyer.
For all his frequent... traveling.
Frank, think of me when you pass that stone.
Gaby, you look radiant
Gazpacho time!
Give it time.
Goes by Rhonda now.
Good day!
Great. I haven't started it yet,
Ha ha
Happens every day.
Have fun humiliating yourself!
He just passed the video of the Shar Pei on the trampoline.
He just sent me a weird text
He tried that guest panel thing years ago.
He's gonna keep talking as long
He's the reason we're fighting so much.
Here's another person
Here's some snacks.
Hey, guys, wait! Actually..
Hey, I I came up with a great name for the book.
Hey, I love your earrings
Hey. Hey, sorry I'm late.
Hi, Mom.
Hmm, technically, I am many kinds of photographer.
Hold your applause until...
How Adam Sandler got in the body of that Saint Bernard
How are you?
How did you stop worrying about polio?
How do you know my cholesterol is high?
How sleeping with you might've been a bad idea.
I came to stop this.
I can.
I can't
I can't keep wasting time.
I chop this table into firewood.
I do.
I don't know.
I don't know. For some reason, she was under the impression
I don't know. It just seems so weird
I don't think so
I feel like we should have hidden before we froze.
I feel like you have the chance
I figured you got shot by a jealous husband
I know what you were doing last night,
I know you don't care that I'm sick,
I know.
I may have given him a few pointers
I mean, you could have your pick of any guy,
I must be allergic to something.
I need to be able to see the pad.
I plan on doing lots of hands on adjustments.
I shall find you the perfect match
I think there is the slightest chance
I told you guys to keep it down!
I was mortified. One minute, they're at
I was pausing for effect.
I was trying to be thoughtful
I will oblige you
I wish he'd asked me 20 minutes ago
I'd like to change my answer
I'd love to, Oscar!
I'd never leave the apartment.
I'll bet you we like all the same things
I'll leave my time sheet on your desk.
I'll tell you the same thing I'd say
I'll tell you what happened.
I'm about to become the spokesman
I'm doing work in 8 B.
I'm enjoying the moment
I'm for anything that gets us
I'm getting a sinking feeling
I'm glad you ran into me.
I'm her boss. She's my assistant
I'm Jim.
I'm just here for the free WI FI.
I'm moving back to Cleveland.
I'm not free tomorrow night,
I'm not gonna do that
I'm not leaving till they close
I'm not nervous. You're the one who's nervous
I'm off to bed.
I'm shocked.
I'm sorry, buddy.
I'm taking her to a Knicks game.
I'm trying to engineer a relationship for Dani
I've dropped enough hints,
I've got a great guy on West 58th.
If he loses his confidence.
If he sees me, he'll tell Ashley.
If I could make a tiny suggestion.
If I had not given Oscar's name to the IRS,
If you put stickers on the window, the birds won't do that
If you say "paddle boating" again,
If you think that sound stops when he falls asleep,
In fact, you've inspired me.
Is a perfect example
Is a sentence no guy likes to hear ever
Is gonna be like college all over again
Is it okay to mix rum and anti anxiety medication?
Is peeing in the shower!
Is that what that mat is for?
Is that your tie tack?
Is the man you're embarrassed to wake up with in the morning,
It doesn't shy away from attention, but it knows
It kicks you in the teeth!
It looked so exciting
It would just fall down to the ground.
It's "busting..."
It's okay, sir. I'm sure there's nothing to be nervous about.
It's pleasant, or is it safe?
It's taken me three days to put this damn chair together,
January first, truth, truth, truth.
Join me, fellow travelers,
Just all in the wrists
Just say "too much." Don't fancy pants me.
Keep digging. You'll find it.
Label says they're expired, but don't worry...
Learning through failure!
Let's get you in your nest. Come on.
Like a hipster you want to punch in the face
Look at her,
Look who I found.
Look, I'm just saying,
Look, Oscar, I really do like you...
M! P...