Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014) - Season 3 Edit

A different time.

A presenter at the Hip Hop Awards.

A swirl with evil and death, which is coming for you!

ABNER: No, not again!

Actually, it's my birthday.

Ah, no, I'll get the door too.

Ah!

All right.

Allan, I'll take care of this. You go back to the party.

Allergies, is what it is.

And all the shit we're gonna need for the next month or so.

And at any moment, she will come in here and kill

And he was just still, you know?

And he's gonna let us stay with him.

And his (BEEP) Star Wars bed.

And hurry it up, or there's gonna be hell to pay.

And I am trapped between this world and the next,

And I didn't know if you needed the pigeon for technical reasons,

And I guess I must have just backhanded him a little bit,

And I had about forgot about him when, out of nowhere,

And I'm embarrassed of him, all right?

And I'm hosting a brunch

And I'm sorry I made you explain it so many times.

And it worked, it got my attention.

And it's from Victor to Cathy.

And it's you, Bill Van Bibber.

And now I'm sayin' it.

And of course, the lady can have my bed.

And struck him with lightning.

And the Chief of Staff, Andrew Card, met us at the door.

And the only hope, the only possible hope,

And then God came down from heaven

And then she'll cook them in a pot, and feed them to me!

And then, before you know it, mystery solved.

And there is no way to stop it.

And they need their president to show a steady hand.

And they suggested that refrigerated packaging,

And they'll be like, "Do you validate for parking?"

And they're gonna be on their own boat tomorrow keepin' an eye on you.

And this is my great great... Oh, my God,

And this is my tallest cousin.

And this unfathomable evil happens over and over again for eternity,

And though we can't bring him back, we have something for you

And throw it in.

And we just don't have many pigeons,

And we just drove around in silence for a while.

And we'll be like, "It'll just be a moment."

And we'll be like, "Yes, we do let me stamp your ticket."

And we'll call it even.

And what was I reading?

And when people come over, we'll be like,

And with it, I summoned you here!

And you must pass through quickly. Now! Now! Now!

And you're not even a cosmetologist.

ANNOUNCER: It's that time of year again,

Are these the remarks for the President?

Are you depressed?

Are you kiddin' me?

Are you okay?

Are you ready to see your renovated home?

Are you sure?

Are you talking about Daniel? No, he's a friend.

Aren't playing that day.

As long as my Iowa State Cyclones

Aw, no! Mr. Tyson, this is Ed Beaver.

Bear Nation, Bear Pride!

Because he's a (BEEP) nerd.

Because I don't know how it works,

Because the witch has power over time!

Because they can get ants or maggots or something like that.

Because this country bumpkin is goin' to the big city

Because this look like the apartment of a very depressed person.

Before they go?

Bill Van Bibber, you just about scared the wizards outta me.

Bill, language. There are children right behind you.

BILL: Well, Lufkin is a small town,

Birdy!

Bitch.

Bursting force from the fabric of the cosmos.

But as you know, Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

But don't you also (BEEP) him sometimes?

But his little neck must have just broken.

But I don't think he'll fit.

But I grew to love this country and I stopped

But I guess we're gonna have to stay with my brother.

But I'll kick myself if I didn't ask.

But if you're gonna do that, you might as well just burn him.

But it could be even closer to 18 months

But now that everybody knows my secret shame,

But something's wrong.

But that's just what friends do.

But the salmons aren't salmon.

But then you've got to throw in the silverware.

But when we saw your place,

But you use it to cheat, and it's over.

But, uh, it's someone else, though.

But, you know, you had stated in your commercial

By the way, Cicely Tyson, award winning actress,

Cal Bears baby, Cal Bears, there we go baby, in your face!

Can I help you?

Can me and my mystery team live with you

Can you believe it?

Can't we just live with you, please?

Channel 755.

Cheater, cheater!

Come on, everybody.

Come on, team! To the Mystery Mobile!

Conversation flowing, socializing...

Coverage begins Thursday

Cyclones baby, we're the Iowa State Cyclones.

Cyclones!

Dad, is that you and George Bush?

Dad, now what are we gonna do?

Dad, wait, isn't this your wallet?

Dad, where are we gonna go?

Dad, you hit somebody!

Damn, it's cold as (BEEP), man.

Damn! I didn't wanna have to do this.

Deezy, what are you doing here?

DEEZY: Of course, man.

DEEZY: What up, Mike? Where you guys at?

Deezy...

Definitely not contagious.

Did anyone ever put these forks

Did he ask you to give this to me?

Did I get your name right?

Didn't you watch the last episode of season two?

Do you know her?

Do you think I could get a picture...

Does anybody need me to validate their parking

Does she still live here?

Don't delay. Offer ends soon.

Don't get knocked down by your mysteries,

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry how much you get high.

Dressing on the side, fatty.

Eating all the salmon,

EMCEE: And now, for our final weigh in.

EMCEE: Five pounds, one ounce!

Even though you asked me if you could make me a drink?

Everybody but Deezy.

Everyone, this is my brother, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Everything was different back then.

Excuse me?

Fair weather fan, always have been.

Far out, man.

Find a quiet place in the lake,

Fine. That one.

Five pounds, nine ounces!

Five pounds, seven ounces!

Five pounds, three ounces!

For a little while, please?

For some fellow stargazers tomorrow.

For today's episode we didn't think

Four, five.

Fred Gandy, you saved my life.

Fred Gandy, your four day total

Fred Gandy?

Fred Gandy?

FRED: I said put that down.

FRED: My Lord!

FRED: Yes!

Fred?

From the engine purring.

Furly will come right quick if he smells tuna.

Furly will get out. He's fast.

Furly! Cut this (BEEP)!

Furly?

Furly?

Furly?