Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014) - Season 3 Edit

A different time.

A presenter at the Hip Hop Awards.

A swirl with evil and death, which is coming for you!

ABNER: No, not again!

Actually, it's my birthday.

Ah, no, I'll get the door too.

Ah!

All right.

Allan, I'll take care of this. You go back to the party.

Allergies, is what it is.

And all the shit we're gonna need for the next month or so.

And at any moment, she will come in here and kill

And he was just still, you know?

And he's gonna let us stay with him.

And his (BEEP) Star Wars bed.

And hurry it up, or there's gonna be hell to pay.

And I am trapped between this world and the next,

And I didn't know if you needed the pigeon for technical reasons,

And I guess I must have just backhanded him a little bit,

And I had about forgot about him when, out of nowhere,

And I'm embarrassed of him, all right?

And I'm hosting a brunch

And I'm sorry I made you explain it so many times.

And it worked, it got my attention.

And it's from Victor to Cathy.

And it's you, Bill Van Bibber.

And now I'm sayin' it.

And of course, the lady can have my bed.

And struck him with lightning.

And the Chief of Staff, Andrew Card, met us at the door.

And the only hope, the only possible hope,

And then God came down from heaven

And then she'll cook them in a pot, and feed them to me!

And then, before you know it, mystery solved.

And there is no way to stop it.

And they need their president to show a steady hand.

And they suggested that refrigerated packaging,

And they'll be like, "Do you validate for parking?"

And they're gonna be on their own boat tomorrow keepin' an eye on you.

And this is my great great... Oh, my God,

And this is my tallest cousin.

And this unfathomable evil happens over and over again for eternity,

And though we can't bring him back, we have something for you

And throw it in.

And we just don't have many pigeons,

And we just drove around in silence for a while.

And we'll be like, "It'll just be a moment."

And we'll be like, "Yes, we do let me stamp your ticket."

And we'll call it even.

And what was I reading?

And when people come over, we'll be like,

And with it, I summoned you here!

And you must pass through quickly. Now! Now! Now!

And you're not even a cosmetologist.

ANNOUNCER: It's that time of year again,

Are these the remarks for the President?

Are you depressed?

Are you kiddin' me?

Are you okay?

Are you ready to see your renovated home?

Are you sure?

Are you talking about Daniel? No, he's a friend.

Aren't playing that day.

As long as my Iowa State Cyclones

Aw, no! Mr. Tyson, this is Ed Beaver.

Bear Nation, Bear Pride!

Because he's a (BEEP) nerd.

Because I don't know how it works,

Because the witch has power over time!

Because they can get ants or maggots or something like that.

Because this country bumpkin is goin' to the big city

Because this look like the apartment of a very depressed person.

Before they go?

Bill Van Bibber, you just about scared the wizards outta me.

Bill, language. There are children right behind you.

BILL: Well, Lufkin is a small town,

Birdy!

Bitch.

Bursting force from the fabric of the cosmos.

But as you know, Thanksgiving is just around the corner.

But don't you also (BEEP) him sometimes?

But his little neck must have just broken.

But I don't think he'll fit.

But I grew to love this country and I stopped

But I guess we're gonna have to stay with my brother.

But I'll kick myself if I didn't ask.

But if you're gonna do that, you might as well just burn him.

But it could be even closer to 18 months

But now that everybody knows my secret shame,

But something's wrong.

But that's just what friends do.

But the salmons aren't salmon.

But then you've got to throw in the silverware.

But when we saw your place,

But you use it to cheat, and it's over.

But, uh, it's someone else, though.

But, you know, you had stated in your commercial

By the way, Cicely Tyson, award winning actress,

Cal Bears baby, Cal Bears, there we go baby, in your face!

Can I help you?

Can me and my mystery team live with you

Can you believe it?

Can't we just live with you, please?

Channel 755.

Cheater, cheater!

Come on, everybody.

Come on, team! To the Mystery Mobile!

Conversation flowing, socializing...

Coverage begins Thursday

Cyclones baby, we're the Iowa State Cyclones.

Cyclones!

Dad, is that you and George Bush?

Dad, now what are we gonna do?

Dad, wait, isn't this your wallet?

Dad, where are we gonna go?

Dad, you hit somebody!

Damn, it's cold as (BEEP), man.

Damn! I didn't wanna have to do this.

Deezy, what are you doing here?

DEEZY: Of course, man.

DEEZY: What up, Mike? Where you guys at?

Deezy...

Definitely not contagious.

Did anyone ever put these forks

Did he ask you to give this to me?

Did I get your name right?

Didn't you watch the last episode of season two?

Do you know her?

Do you think I could get a picture...

Does anybody need me to validate their parking

Does she still live here?

Don't delay. Offer ends soon.

Don't get knocked down by your mysteries,

Don't worry about it.

Don't worry how much you get high.

Dressing on the side, fatty.

Eating all the salmon,

EMCEE: And now, for our final weigh in.

EMCEE: Five pounds, one ounce!

Even though you asked me if you could make me a drink?

Everybody but Deezy.

Everyone, this is my brother, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Everything was different back then.

Excuse me?

Fair weather fan, always have been.

Far out, man.

Find a quiet place in the lake,

Fine. That one.

Five pounds, nine ounces!

Five pounds, seven ounces!

Five pounds, three ounces!

For a little while, please?

For some fellow stargazers tomorrow.

For today's episode we didn't think

Four, five.

Fred Gandy, you saved my life.

Fred Gandy, your four day total

Fred Gandy?

Fred Gandy?

FRED: I said put that down.

FRED: My Lord!

FRED: Yes!

Fred?

From the engine purring.

Furly will come right quick if he smells tuna.

Furly will get out. He's fast.

Furly! Cut this (BEEP)!

Furly?

Furly?

Furly?

Furly? Oh, thank God.

Get knocked up, by me, solving your mysteries.

Get up off the canvas and get back into the ring of your life.

Get your ass outta here, Fred.

Give me a "I," give me a "O," give me a "State."

Go! Go, go, go, go, go!

Golden Bears! Golden Bears! Golden Bears!

Gotta give everybody sheets.

Groovy.

Handsome, debonair, didactyl. My third cousin.

Happy birthday, Mother.

Having all those people at our place.

He flapped up in the front seat and I damn near crashed my car.

He knows why.

He must've saved all the love letters

He owned the house before us.

He saved all these love letters you wrote him.

He was my contact.

He's a big, fat cheater.

He's a turkey farmer.

He's my ride or die.

He's seven foot.

Hello, we're looking for a Cathy Walker.

Here on third down.

Here you go, ghost.

Hey, Fred, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Hey, hey, hey, it's your day

Hey, how much for that stationary bike?

Hey, I bet you were surprised to find out

Hey, let me ask you something.

Hey, let me buzz you in.

Hey, weren't you rooting for Iowa State, like, 10 minutes ago?

Hi, I'm Mike Tyson, former heavyweight champion of the world.

His name is Beaver?

His wife ever wrote him.

Hmm. Then just give me that VCR.

Hmm. What do we do with him?

Hmm...

Hold your GD horses, you bunch of (BLEEP) assholes.

How could you?

How did you find me?

How much for the desk?

Huh, what's that?

Huh! I don't remember that.

Huh? I don't know. You'll have to ask your father.

I (BLEEP) the days up.

I added a half bath, and I was even able to convert the garage

I always have.

I am trash talking you, Marquess.

I bet if we'd got that out of our system,

I can conduct a lot of my business from home.

I can feel the fog lifting already.

I can't imagine anyone doing anything like that.

I changed the cathedral windows to bay windows.

I didn't think I was going to be having company over.

I didn't write any of these.

I didn't write this.

I don' know what you're talking about, I don't...

I don't care about that anymore.

I don't get it. What's the mystery?

I don't know what that thing does,

I don't know when they air.

I don't know who the (BLEEP) that is.

I don't remember even hanging this picture.

I don't think it's a mystery.

I felt bad about it.

I got it, Michael.

I guess I'm just not a mystery solver.

I guess we could always cut him up into little pieces,

I guess we'll sleep in the van.

I have. I did a little coke.

I haven't heard that name in almost 30 years.

I just put him on the seat there in the back

I keep those in the bathroom.

I knew that was how that would work.

I knew you were up to somethin'. I knew it.

I know it. I feel it in my bones.

I know it's an uncomfortable question, ma'am,

I love you too, Bill.

I love you, Fred.

I mean, I don't even know when I live them.

I mean, Pigeon, I'm sorry, but you could've actually waited

I need you to take that sword,

I really do. Maybe not.

I really think they'll go all the way this year,

I remember it like it was yesterday. (CHUCKLES)

I remember it like it was yesterday...

I remember it was a controversial referendum

I should just go back to the apartment and get a can of tuna.

I spent $200 of my own money on this giant (BLEEP) scrim.

I spent the Cold War living here

I think it's holding on Iowa State.

I think they're biting.

I think this one's coming back.

I think we should frost this little tip right here,

I think... (SNIFFS)

I wanna get some casting in before the tournament starts tomorrow,

I was a spy for the Soviet Union.

I was able to give you an open concept living room.

I was her. Come inside.

I was trying to be supportive.

I was, but they're losing.

I will open a passage between Heaven and Hell,

I wonder if he's got any extra toothbrushes.

I would have thought, "Different last name,

I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you, Fred.

I'll call my agent.

I'll tell you what, throw in the necklace

I'm afraid Victor passed away.

I'm coming, Furly!

I'm definitely gonna cook more now.

I'm going to offer the witch a deal.

I'm gonna call someone. I'm gonna call someone. You're fine.

I'm gonna solve this mystery.

I'm gonna take it outside. Okay, Deezy?

I'm in the middle of writing an important essay

I'm just getting over a cold.

I'm just kidding. I can shit wherever I want.

I'm on it. But, sir, there's something I need to talk to you about.

I'm on the sixth floor, right next to the elevator.

I'm quakin' in my boots, Agatha Christie.

I'm serious, I'm (BLEEP) panickin'!

I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.

I'm sorry, Mr. Tyson, but that seat is typically reserved for the President.

I've been battling.

If any of them was that good, they'd be in the pros.

If that asshole's not gonna let us sleep in his house,

If you need me to solve your mystery,

In Deezy's semen caked sheets.

In light of the recent tragic events...

In the second to last episode.

In which I explore how our own universe

In your face, Marquess!

In your face!

Instead of bringing us here, why didn't you just use the portal to leave?

Into the dance studio you've always wanted!

Is a Sam Rayburn Reservoir record of 76 pounds, five ounces!

Is Henderson, Nevada.

Is simply one of the countless bubbles

Is that the police?

Is that you enter this dimension at once!

Isn't this a motley crew?

Isn't this our house?

It all makes sense now. All of it.

It doesn't matter what you want 'cause I'm the one with the sword.

It is all around you, the death, and the evil,

It might not be perfect.

It says, "Yard Sale."

It seems like it comes sooner and sooner every year.

It sounds like you're upstairs! But maybe also the basement?

It was a demon. He was on top of our house.

It's 1:00 in the morning

It's a Bermuda rock slide.

It's a private call and no one should hear it.

It's a straight up advertisement.

It's an honor to meet you, Mr. President, even though I didn't vote for you.

It's as simple as one, two, three, four.

It's as simple as one, two, three...

It's basically a Mexican rock slide, but instead of tequila,

It's breaking up. (CLEARS THROAT)

It's Deezy. I mean, shit, it's not Deezy.

It's five o'clock somewhere.

It's go... Well.

It's not Monday It's not Tuesday It's not Wednesday

It's not unusual for me to go three, four days

It's okay, Yung. It's all part of the haggle.

It's still (BEEP) freezing. Maybe I'll shut the door.

It's very full, so here.

Jesus Christ, I'm right here.

Jesus Christ.

Just do what I say!

Just like you said, okay?

Keep the audience interested.

Leave me my Madeline, my little ones, and take you!

Legal reasons, so we had a backup plan.

Let me just, um... Oh... No, okay...

Let me, uh, know if you guys need any help.

Let's get one quick photo. Mr. Tyson, could you come stand with the President?

Let's give it up for Fred Gandy!

Let's go, let's go buy some shit.

Let's see what you got in there, Fred.

Life's too short to root for a loser.

Like a big (BEEP) dork.

Like a geek.

Lindsay, I just got a great idea.

Listen man, we're coming over to your place, man.

Listen to this.

Love letters that contained secret coded information.

MAN 1: Oh, hey there, Fred! MAN 2: Hey, Fred!

MAN 1: That is...

MAN 2: (ON TV) ...got hair coming out of the back of his helmet.

MAN 3: God bless you!

MAN: (ON TV) And he explodes through the hole!

MAN: (ON TV) And the question here is,

MARQUESS: (EXCLAIMS) I changed... Uh! Oh, my God...

MARQUESS: Michael! YUNG HEE: Dad, stop!

MARQUESS: Oh, my God.

MARQUESS: Oh, so it works when Michael does it, but not...

MARQUESS: Okay!

MARQUESS: You have to turn around!

Married for 43 years.

Maybe five. Twelve tops.

Maybe he talks about Cathy's (BLEEP).

Maybe I just need a little white noise

Maybe then there can be some kind of closure

Maybe Three Wiener Cove.

Maybe we'll finally have that game night we've been talking about.

McAfee! We need to find time for the President to go over the troop assessment

Michael, it's a little early for a crotch chop.

Michael, what are you doing?

Michael, who is this?

Michael! We don't have a basement.

Mike Tyson Mystery Team,

Mike, Pigeon.

MIKE: Hey! Do you have a mystery that you're needing to solve?

MIKE: It was 2001.

MIKE: Oh, we getting the (BLEEP) out of here.

MIKE: Oh, yeah, that was from my very first mystery.

MIKE: Whoa, Marquess! My Cal Bears are all over

Mike's brother, the famous cosmetologist,

My great great aunt.

My great great great great grandfather,

My heart hurts.

My heart!

My husband would've wanted it that way.

My name is Abner Callmouth Griegs.

My real name is Katia Petrova.

My sweet Madeline and my poor little ones.

My what?

My what? No.

My whole life has been a lie.

Nah, I don't care about college football.

Neil deGrasse Tyson is your brother?

Neil Patrick Harris.

Neil?

Never mentions her (BLEEP). I don't want these.

Next to a dumpster behind the 76 station and I got him in my car.

No car seat or anything?

No one's going to catch him, touchdown, Iowa State!

No way, Jose. $30.

No way! I think I told the guy I did not want the insurance.

No, he isn't.

No, I was just letting everyone know that I'm not interested in any of this.

No, I'm good.

No, it's Deezy. He wants to know if I want to be

No, that's... It's gonna be fine.

No! Call someone.

No.

No.

No. I've never heard of anyone named Cathy Walker.

No. It's just not a good time.

No. We can't go to a hotel. My wallet was in the house.

Nobody wants you here.

Not at all.

Not now, God damn it!

Nothing happened. I'm (BLEEP) killing all of you.

Now, let's get Mr. Beaver and Mr. Tyson out of here, please.

Now, put that... Hold on.

Now, this carpet's real soft.

Now, this is a very, very important decision, little boy.

Now, what is your purse doin' in this aisle.

Now, where's my stamp?

Now, who do I know that lives in Henderson?

Of course, Mike. My door is always open.

Of how he done caught all them fish what was in his bag?

Oh (BEEP), we had it the whole time.

Oh shit. Close the door, Mike.

Oh, (BEEP)!

Oh, (BLEEP) you, Fred. Just (BLEEP) yourself.

Oh, (BLEEP)! Oh, (BLEEP)!

Oh, damn!

Oh, did he pass away? I'm so sorry.

Oh, excuse me, everyone. My phone is ringing.

Oh, finally! Someone gives a (BLEEP).

Oh, for Godsakes, I've had to go to the bathroom for 20 minutes.

Oh, Fred...

Oh, God, Fred.

Oh, God, I can't hold it. I have to go so bad. Oh, God...

Oh, hi, Fred! So good to see you.

Oh, I love it, Marquess. Stainless steel appliances!

Oh, I thought you had it.

Oh, I... I thought we were doing a flashback. We're not doing a flashback?

Oh, little boy,

Oh, man, holding.

Oh, man, you guys must have been right around the corner.

Oh, Marquess! That was on my wish list.

Oh, Marquess. What about your boyfriend?

Oh, my God, you're such a (BEEP) nerd.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, I can't hold it any longer!

Oh, oh! Here's one of you. At the beach!

Oh, ooh, let's go.

Oh, shit. Pigeon is dead?

Oh, that was Victor's desk.

Oh, that's 'cause I never left the house today.

Oh, that's because you were just a little girl.

Oh, that's that woman's husband who died.

Oh, this isn't for sale. I couldn't part with this.

Oh, Tyson Beckford,

Oh, wait! I think I do know this dude.

Oh, whose birthday is it?

Oh, yeah, my girl, the Iowa State Cyclone!

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it.

Oh, yeah. Sheets.

Oh, you... You want me to pause the game?

Oh! (GASPS)

Oh! It looks like we've got our first mystery.

Oh! Let me get you guys set up.

Oh! Well, then who's this?

Oh! You guys need towels.

Oh. Just great. There goes my (BLEEP) reveal.

Oh. Okay.

Okay, cool. See you in around about five.

Okay, have any of you been drinking

Okay, my God! Pigeon!

Okay, well...

Okay!

On a Sunday morning?

On multiple universes,

On the other side of that door is a witch,

Once again, I'm sorry to disturb you, Neil Patrick Harris.

Only when he's too drunk to drive home,

Ooh, McAfee, you just got Carded. Andrew Carded!

Ooh, ooh. I'm sorry. Mr. Beaver, here you go.

Ooh, that's a good idea. Which one, honey? Which turkey you wanna save?

Ooh! Definitely upstairs. That one gave it away.

Open your (BLEEP) eyes. You know what? I need a drink.

Or flush him down the toilet.

Or maybe not. Maybe it would have been awful.

Or paperwork, or what have you,

Or some extra clothing.

Or taking drugs of any kind?

Or that one. Or that... Or any one, they're all the (BLEEP) same.

Or the multiverse,

Or two years, you know? Please?

Pardon me?

Passing information to the KGB.

Perhaps you'd be more comfortable over here.

Pigeon, do you know who the (BLEEP) this is?

Pigeon, no! We are not going to open it.

PIGEON: Hey!

PIGEON: I mean, what the (BLEEP)?

PIGEON: Sleep in the van...

PIGEON: That's your big reveal? It looks the same.

PIGEON: Well, at least you know Deezy's not stealing your money.

PIGEON: You care to (BLEEP) explain this, Marquess?

Please, everyone, sit down.

Please, Marquess, hurry!

Probably, for just, um, like, three, four months.

Read the mystery, honey.

Really? Is that why you have no furniture?

Right here on the Outdoor Sporting Lifestyle Network,

Right next to Yung, playing in the sand.

Right where the three wieners come together.

Right, but doesn't he sleep in your room sometimes?

Right, Furly? He's like a brother to me.

Run into the portal, or you'll all die!

Say, you ever solve that old mystery

Seatbelt, Marquess.

She uses a portal of her making, but I discovered how to use her portal.

Shut your mouth and listen to me.

Simply write down your mystery on a small piece of paper,

Sir, did you get all that?

Sit wherever you like. Everybody, Fred's here!

Six pounds, three ounces!

Sleep in his (BEEP) Star Trek sheets, all right,

Slow down, Furly.

So can we stay with you again?

So I had gone to Dallas and I captured one.

So I went into the box and ship place

So I'm pickin' up a chef's salad to eat on the boat.

So that there'd be no spoilage.

So you better watch the (BLEEP) out.

So, can we, uh, can we stay with you or not?

So, get muddling!

So, just find a place and claim it.

So, now I'm a Cal Bear guy.

So, that was it?

So, we're just going to leave the desk here?

So, what are you waiting for?

So, what did you mean when you said you were Cathy Walker?

So, where are we going? A hotel?

So, where were we? We...

So, you want us to pick a (BLEEP) turkey?

So, you're not going to make me a drink,

So! Are you guys ready to see the big reveal?

Son of a...

Spanish Inquisition much?

Still I got a little cough but it's... It's loose.

Sweet, sweet slumber, here I come.

Thank God.

Thank you.

Thank you. No, I don't.

Thanks again for picking me up.

Thanks for coming.

That is a (BLEEP) seagull!

That my brother was Neil deGrasse Tyson.

That poor woman would want these.

That was it.

That was taken in the Oval Office.

That wasn't the last episode. We went to that farm.

That we hope, at the very least, will bring you comfort.

That's my boy.

That's on the left tackle, senior Ken Ewadatatupu.

That's really my bad.

The astrophysicist?

The Beau Brummell of his time.

The entire nation thanks you for your help in this matter, Michael.

The Lady of the Lake.

The least he can do is let us sleep in his garage.

The music, the hairstyles. It was all so...

The nation is in a very fragile state,

The night is young. Possibilities are endless.

The only place that has Sunday morning pickup

The President feels like he needs to get this one right.

The President grants one turkey a presidential pardon.

The President needs our help. That's out of sight!

The Sam Rayburn Reservoir Professional Bass Fishing Invitational.

The State Department needs to sign off on this.

The way people talked.

Then attach that paper to a pigeon,

Then I will read your paper,

Then let that pigeon fly to my house,

Then this sword is Excalibur.

Then where am I?

Then where are we going to stay?

Then why are you in your pajamas?

There's no time! You'll all die, do you hear me?

There's no way you caught all those giant fish without doin' something sneaky,

There's only one big, fat fisherman I see,

These things will find a new home.

They said would bankrupt the city.

They're going down.

They're love letters to Victor.

They're the Iowa State Cyclone salmon!

They've been sputtering a little bit.

This didn't happen.

This is Bill Van Bibber, and I'm on the south side of the lake,

This is gonna be so great, Furly.

This is the big (BEEP) nerd you're ashamed of?

This is the Mike Tyson Mystery Team,

This is, um, Tyson Chandler.

This island... Oh, my God.

This little depression I've been...

This was my grandmother's silverware.

This!

To find himself a pigeon.

To send you a pigeon with a note,

To take the drink yourself.

To the mystery mobile!

To the mystery mobile.

To this awful situation.

Truly, I am. I mean, if I had just slowed down for a second,

Tyson chicken.

Ugh. Is this a sport?

Ugh. Rude.

Uh, does $50 sound fair?

Uh, let me just get these out your way.

Uh, the recycling bin was full, so, uh...

Um...

Under cover as an American.

Up near Big Beaver Hall.

Victor must've loved you a great deal.

Victor was the love of my life.

Victor, you son of a bitch!

Victor.

Wait a second. I can't speak to a (BEEP) cat.

Wait a second. So, I was just in the front seat?

Wait! Why wouldn't you just leave here in it? In the portal?

Wait. What are you doing with Mike?

We arrived at the White House,

We communicated only by mail.

We could use Happy Birthday for, you know,

We didn't have one before, and I truly think it's what makes a house a home.

We found this in his desk.

We found this.

We gotta live with you till we get a new house.

We haven't spoken in over a decade.

We know how much you miss your husband,

We need to find this Cathy and give it to her. Maybe...

We should have (BLEEP) each other.

We should just go there. (BEEP) it.

We thought we could do better, but we can't.

We were hibernating, but now we are awake!

We were soulmates.

We would have been closer.

We... We, we, we...

We'll follow you back to your place.

We're about to have cake.

We're going with the cream colored one, Mr. President.

We've been through a lot together.

Welcome to the castle.

Well, congratu (BLEEP) lations.

Well, every year, in a ceremony on the on the White House lawn,

Well, everyone seems to think it's Fred Gandy what's gonna come away with it.

Well, I guess I'll go jack off on the hand stitched throw pillows.

Well, I thought it.

Well, I'm gonna take the sword to some quiet place in the lake,

Well, I'm just so pleased

Well, it wasn't that long ago.

Well, it's a bunch of old letters.

Well, sometimes, you know, you gotta, um, embellish, you know?

Well, they take a long time, I have to muddle hibiscus.

Well, we don't want you here.

Well, we were

Well, well, well.

Well, who's this?

Well, why do you want me to do that?

Well, would you like me to say it again?

Well... Stay on your own boat.

Were you getting ready for bed?

What are you doin'?

What are you doing here?

What do I have to be depressed about?

What do we do?

What does that even mean?

What is that you've got there?

What is that? That's a garbage truck.

What kind of maniac would be drivin' a boat flat out in this kind of fog?

What the (BEEP) does that mean?

What the (BEEP)? It's us, fool.

What the (BLEEP) is that?

What the (BLEEP) is this?

What will the Iowa State Cyclones do

What, I...

What?

What?

What? Come on, man, it's 6:45.

What? Depressed?

What? Huh? Oh, well, come on.

What? I didn't change anything in here.

What? No, it doesn't. Are you blind?

What? That's how I remember it. It was a long time ago.

What? You have a brother?

What? You offered.

Where are you guys?

Where you at, little guy?

While you're waiting.

Who gives a shit whose birthday it is?

Who's Cathy?

Whoo!

Whoo! This is gonna be good.

Why did you two stop talking?

Why do...

Why don't we let Yung pick?

Why don't you hit those S's a little harder there, Bill.

Why don't you just take a seat on this stationary bike

Why the hell wouldn't I, Lindsay?

Why would I want you to be on my boat?

Why would you ask that?

With Secretary Rumsfeld.

With the money from the fire insurance,

Without seeing another human being face to face.

Yay, yay, yay It's your birthday

Yeah, but he's not the only famous Tyson in our family.

Yeah, I feel a little tug there.

Yeah, I said, "Ooh," 'cause I'm comin' to get you.

Yeah, now we have a reception area.

Yeah, that's right, I said it.

Yeah, the house burned down

Yeah, uh huh. Uh huh. I hear you.

Yeah, uh, can mine not have semen on it?

Yeah, well, I know. I was just being polite.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are good.

Yeah. (SIGHS) Hey, Neil.

Yeah. I never wanted you guys to meet him

Yes, Mother.

Yes, uh...

Yes!

Yes. This is my favorite new addition. The wall of family photos!

Yesterday, yesterday...

Yesterday.

Yo, it's us.

You can just drop me off anywhere'd be good.

You don't know any of these (BLEEP) people.

You expect me to say yes?

You just talked to us.

You know what I should have done?