Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay Edit

A bunch of dumb rednecks?

A day hasn't gone by where I haven't thought of Tashonda.

A good friend is hard to come by.

A jar with hair in it.

A lot of people think the war on terror is a war that can't be won, right?

A three is all that's good and right

A way to get out of this, I'm gonna change, OK?

Actually, it's Brooks Brothers.

Actually, Mr. President, there is one thing.

Actually, my dad taught it to me in sixth grade.

After all the shit that we have been through in the last few days...

After you try and blow up a plane filled with Americans!

Ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked!

All I saw was the creature's hand.

All right, all right, all right.

All right, all right, let's all calm down.

All right, cockmeat sandwich time. You know the drill.

All right, guys. Jet's all fueled. You should be home in no time.

All right, hold on. First we gotta do something for my buddy here.

All right, I'm back. Next.

All right, let 'em in.

All right, what do we do? What do we do?

All right, y'all! Come on over here and we'll sit around the campfire.

All right.

All right.

All right. This is gonna sound crazy, but, basically...

All right. Well, that makes you a fucking hypocriticizer too.

Almost gone, witness.

Amsterdam is a very small place. It's not gonna be...

And as long as I have my freedom of speech, no one's gonna shut me up.

And ask if they have a Maria staying there?

And even if we were, that doesn't make us terrorists.

And four large orders of fries?

And he's getting married to Kumar's ex girlfriend.

And I can't promise you that I'm gonna mature overnight.

And I promise you, if we figure out...

And I schtupped Cindy Kim.

And I'd be more than happy to call the ACLU or the government...

And I'll never try and make you into something that you're not.

And I'm happy for you and Vanessa.

And I'm offended.

And if they don't cooperate, he could be sentenced to death.

And in less than eight hours, we're gonna be in Amsterdam.

And it's not like we got Gregory Hines out there.

And it's not that I don't want to be a doctor, but like...

And let me do my job.

And love for me has been renewed

And my favorite book is A Moveab/e Feast.

And Neil Patrick Harris isn't around to see it, man.

And now we're trying to get to Texas...

And now, how about you focus?

And second of all...

And some disinfectant powder, OK, it works sort of like a deodorizer...

And started realizing what your government is doing to the world...

And tell us what you want us to do.

And then we escaped and snuck into America with a bunch of Cubans...

And this is Kumar Patel.

And toys for tots.

And we figured that maybe your Colton could help us out.

And we're not dating anymore.

And we're not gonna find you, huh?

And with a wave of magic wands

And you're gonna jam out with your clam out.

And, like, 12 cans of Mace.

And, like, stole that monkey and put it in Andy Rosenberg's dorm room?

Another square root of a three

Anton is like totally gay.

Anyway, last day of shooting, I told her.

Anyway, we were on a parachute and we sort of landed on your ranch.

Are all these planes yours?

Are they still behind us?

Are you boys in some kind of trouble?

Are you fucking kidding me?

Are you gonna tell me why you're here?

Are you kidding? Me?

Are you sure you speak Korean, Jack?

Are you talking on a cellphone when the government is looking for us?

As 1.7321

As soon as possible.

Ask the Lees what they know about their son's terrorist activity.

Asshole, get out of here right now.

Asshole!

Assholes like us wouldn't exist.

At the Wal Mart the other day.

Bang bang, Roldy.

Because he knows it'll make me happy...

Because I do...

Because I'm a minority.

Because of you, my best girl quit.

Beecher, give me a copy of the Bill of Rights.

Beecher, what are you doing?

Been through a lot of shit, figured we might need it.

Besides, I bring you new customers.

Best s'mores we've had in a long time...

Better than you! Let me think.

Big Bob's taking care of them.

Bigger. Bigger. Bigger. Bigger.

Boner achieved!

Born in '04.

Boy, you're scaring me.

Bring it.

Bump your titty on her titty.

But don't worry. I'll make sure my dad takes care of everything.

But first... y'all got to get in the spirit of the party.

But fuck you.

But I'm pleading the Fifth until I speak to my lawyer.

But I'm pretty sure he said something about going on the offensive.

But it was agony pretending his puny, little penis satisfied me.

But it's cool. He doesn't know how to say "I'm sorry. "

But that don't mean we ought to be judged.

But the Klan really knows how to party.

But the other night, I ended up at that Asian party...

But there is no way in hell...

But they... It's not even clear that they should have been there in the first place.

But we are going to Amsterdam. Come on.

But we're almost there, man.

But what I can promise you is that...

But why would they be there?

But you don't want to bother them when they're doing their whole...

But your part in Starship Troopers truly, truly changed my life.

But, listen, to be honest, after all the shit that we've been through...

But, no offense to the rest of you ladies, I am gonna be taking you two.

But, you know, if you get stressed out, just do what I do.

Buy a device called TiVo, OK?

By not bringing drugs on an airplane?

Bye, Vanessa. Hope you feel better.

Bye.

Called every hotel in the city. I walked all around.

Can you move it around in a circle?

Can you not wait till we get to Amsterdam?

Can you use tongue?

Can't shake. I've just got... deer head all over me.

Colton is the only guy that can help us out at this point.

Colton! Colton Graham can help us out.

Colton! How are you, buddy?

Colton's practically planning the whole wedding all by himself.

Come here.

Come on, boys, let's chase them back to the border!

Come on, come on! Come on!

Come on, don't be embarrassed. You know, a lot of girls find intelligence sexy.

Come on, dude, say something.

Come on, man.

Come on, man. I was having a really hot dream.

Come on, man. Wait till we get back to Jersey.

Come on, Rold. You and me?

Come on!

Come on.

Come on. Let's get the hell back to Jersey.

Come over here.

Come with me, I'll show you to your bed.

Come with me.

Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry.

Congratulations, you guys.

Cool.

Couldn't you have sex with whoever you wanted?

Count of three?

Creeps me out just bein' around you fags.

Daddy.

Damn it. Make sure the press doesn't get wind of this.

Dangling in front of her throat.

Dead. Or alive.

Derek, can I get another water?

Did you go?

Did you guys?

Did you see that unicorn?

Do we have the right to make a phone call?

Do you get it?

Do you have a masters in romantic Korean literature?

Do you have a problem with the way I'm running the show, Beecher?

Do you know if they know anybody in Florida?

Do you want her to get ****d and murdered?

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, buddy.

Don't make me come down there and whip your Cyclops ass!

Don't need the public thinking we're some two bit operation.

Don't worry about him. I have an idea.

Don't worry, Chestnut. I took complete care of 'em.

Don't worry, in a little bit, I'm sure it'll hit you too.

Don't worry, man, she'll be psyched to see you.

Don't worry.

Don't worry. I got rid of 'em. It was just my neighbors.

Don't worry. It'll help you relax.

Don't you be cussin' when we got company over.

Don't you dare say a fucking word about my angel!

Door, door.

Dr. John Beecher, Vice Chairman of the NSA.

Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!

Dude, calm down, OK?

Dude, honestly...

Dude, I can't believe they're getting married.

Dude, I don't want a fucking hit!

Dude, I know I'm not calling Neil's parents.

Dude, I told you.

Dude, I was able to perform an appendectomy at age 14.

Dude, I'm not scared 'cause they're black.

Dude, I've got it!

Dude, it was just Goldstein. I had something important to tell him.

Dude, relax. I have a med school interview in ten minutes.

Dude, that is a fucking long story.

Dude, they set up a fucking roadblock! They're gonna find us.

Dude, this is weed.

Dude, we're not driving through this basketball game.

Dude, you took Neil's Mace?

Dude!

Dude? Dude?

Dude.

Dude.

Dude. Dude, this chick's giving me such a boner, it's awesome.

Dude. Oh, my Go... I just realized something.

Electronic devices right over there.

Enjoy.

Enough, Fox! I've had enough of your crap!

Even look at the credit card bills?

Even though I love havin' sex with some hot, random trim...

Ever hear of a cockmeat sandwich?

Every time I go on the online, it says, "Searching for server. "

Every time I see a bag of Hershey's Kisses, my balls get so wet.

Everybody relax. Just calm down. Everything is under control.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Exactly.

Excuse me, please. Will you turn that off? This is a library.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Explain why you're putting me through...

Explain?

Faster, Weedy.

Fellas, this is my wife Raylene.

Find out if they have any relatives in the country.

First of all, look at this beautiful Alabama landscape, OK?

Five, right?

For giving the United States a taste of their own medicine.

For High Times magazine.

For nine could thwart this evil trick With just some quick arithmetic

Freedom means nothing if you're a slave to regular programming...

Fuc...

Fuck that. Listen, guys, guys, guys. I am the fucking President, all right?

Fuck yeah, dude.

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

Fuck, fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck! G. Bay?

Fuck! How do we get there? We can't go to the airport. They're looking for us.

Fucking assholes.

Fucking dick.

Fucking... sometimes I wonder if he's just encouraging me...

Gary and Kumar!

Ge...

Gentlemen, start your engines.

George? We're gonna be late for that wedding.

Get in here.

Get off my set!

Get up. Get up!

Getting plowed by a bunch of European dudes.

Giving him what he deserves.

Go back to bed, please, dude.

Go! Move, move, move!

God damn it.

God, his dick smells like shit, dude.

God, it's been forever. What are you guys doing?

God, you...

God!

God.

Good enough for me.

Good, you brought the keg. Lug that thing over.

Got it, sir.

Great.

Great. Now let's get those pants off.

Gross! You fucking pissed on me!

Guess what?

Guy crashed into a bunch of wine bottles.

Guys, I didn't mean it like that. I was just...

Guys, we're just gonna get out of here.

Guys.

Had I known that the monkey had AIDS, I never would have done that.

Happened on the set of C/ara's Heart.

Harold and Kumar.

Harold and Kumar.

Harold Lee, I would like to introduce you to an invention of mine.

Harold, what are you doing here?

Harold. Harold.

Harold...

Has quietly come waltzing by

Have you forgotten what happened the last time you were here?

He handicapped or something?

He is a douchebag. What were you thinking?

He likes you.

He never once apologized for getting me into all this trouble.

He said he got a bomb!

He told me you got a job working for the government.

He totally would have been able to bail us out.

He's actually pretty funny.

He's black. He's not a racist.

He's gone.

He's here! I knew he'd come.

He's supposed to be in medical school.

Hebe!

Heck. I'm in the government and I don't even trust it.

Hell no!

Hello, ba...

Hello, Maria. My name is Kumar.

Hello?

Hello? Come, come?

Hello.

Help! Help! Help!

Her skin was so soft, her lips were so sweet.

Here we go again with Jan Sapperstein.

Here.

Here. Hide in that.

Here's to you, Tashonda.

Hey, baby.

Hey, baby.

Hey, Burl...

Hey, chill, we still have two days to fuck up the wedding.

Hey, Colton, I can't believe you're doing this for us...

Hey, dude, there's a lighter here with a clown on it.

Hey, flag down this car.

Hey, hey.

Hey, honey. What's up?

Hey, I paid her good money.

Hey, I ran into Todd, at Whitaker's, of course.

Hey, Jon, are you gonna let him do that?

Hey, listen, you're not gonna believe this...

Hey, look, dude.

Hey, look, look!

Hey, look, man, we're in Alabama.

Hey, love.

Hey, she actually fell and broke her heel here.

Hey, this wasn't supposed to be a trip through the South, OK?

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Hey, who you calling Matthew Perry, bitch?

Hey, you don't happen to have a Baby Ruth on you, do you?

Hey, you really got some major connections to the top.

Hey! Hey, what are you doing?

Hey! Hey.

Hey! I'm talking to you. Get back here!

Hey.

Hey.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. She's not some skank, man.

Hi, I'm a friend of Colton's.

Highly... boobies. Yeah.

His timing, it's priceless.

Hit 'em. Yeah.

Hold up a second.

Hold your horses, peckerwood.

Holy fucking shit, that was awesome.

Holy shit, dude.

Holy shit, we actually made it.

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit!

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Honey, I'm home.

Honey, something's wrong with that DSL.

Hope you boys like extra mayo.

How about you answer that question? I'm gonna go check this out.

How about you take off your clothes and make out with each other?

How about...

How does everybody know about this except for me?

How much?

How the fuck am I supposed to do that?

How?

How'd you come up with that?

I already told you that they took off runnin'!

I am in a great amount of pain!

I am not Arab! I am Indian!

I asked you specifically to stay in the car.

I assume Secretary Whitmore's coming?

I bet it sucks dick.

I bet. I bet you've been missing the thundercock too, haven't you, baby?

I came way too far.

I can promise you that I will always love you.

I can't believe you can even think about playing games at a time like this, man.

I can't believe... I cannot believe you're willing to fuck that up!

I can't fucking believe this.

I deserve an Oscar for that performance.

I did knee an Indian guy in the balls.

I didn't think I could take on that kind of responsibility.

I didn't understand what you said.

I didn't want to wait ten days to see you...

I don't care. It tried to fucking bite me.

I don't even know what I was thinking.

I don't even know what that is.

I don't even know...

I don't give a rat's ass what that bitch got.

I don't have a reason to lie to you, man.

I don't know about you guys, I'm sick of all the hype over topless.

I don't know how to say this any other way, man, but we're fugitives.

I don't know if we can trust our government anymore.

I don't know what I was thinking dating that douchebag Colton.

I don't know what the hell is going on here...

I don't know what you're saying, buddy...

I don't need your friends to tell me what to do anymore.

I don't think so. Dude, the Klan is fucking slow.

I don't wanna die!

I don't want to hear the excuses!

I donate blood.

I fear that I will always be A lonely number like root three

I found something in your purse.

I fucked up and I always fuck up. I am a fuck up.

I fucked up, OK?

I got one too!

I got this one!

I got to ask you a question before this all goes down.

I gotta go drain the main vein.

I guess that makes sense, yeah.

I had catering get an extra case of Coors Light...

I have a lost love story of my own.

I have no idea what I'm doing.

I haven't seen you guys since graduation.

I hope you like donuts.

I just can't find her anywhere.

I just can't wait to get back, man.

I just had the most fucked up nightmare.

I just hate that fucking asshole, OK?

I just want to let you know...

I kind of always, you know, sort of assumed...

I kind of like the first way better.

I knew they'd trip up.

I know I'll never see the sun

I know, man.

I know, right? All right, boys.

I know. They're gonna be...

I like to do all three.

I lit a lot of these candles.

I love that show.

I love you too, Mr. Patrick Harris.

I love you, dude.

I love you.

I loved her so much.

I loved you, man.

I mean, I don't need them to tell me how to do what I have to do.

I mean, I'm supposed to be with my Maria right now in Amsterdam, OK?

I mean, that's assuming we get those Stargazer lilies for the bouquets.

I never should have left her.

I own that place now, Colton.

I promise you that.

I said...

I think I can handle a couple mushrooms.

I think I'm OK. Yeah.

I think it still has cheese on it.

I thought I told you to stay in the car, man.

I thought it'd be kinda cool to bring somebody else in bed with us.

I thought we were friends, man. How could you betray me like this?

I thought you were going to Amsterdam.

I thought you were joking...

I told you I wanted a Gucci one.

I told you our friendship was at stake.

I took a Korean guy's toothbrush and I rubbed it all over my dick.

I totally forgot what I was going to say.

I touched your breast.

I tripped a beaner while I was walking down the stairs...

I was actually being a productive member of society.

I was gonna get one of them new portable satellite radios.

I will go inside alone and, if we're lucky, Colton will help us out.

I wish instead I were a nine

I wish you'd a told me you was bringing guests home.

I...

I'd rate pissin' right up there with comin' and shittin'.

I'da straightened up in here.

I'll get my dick wet.

I'll never forget her. Her name was Tashonda.

I'll take care of this myself.

I'll tell ya, Travis...

I'm a pretty good translator.

I'm an innocent man.

I'm awesome.

I'm calling you Matthew Perry, you Matthew Perry looking bitch!

I'm going to a whorehouse and I'm gonna get my fuck on.

I'm gonna take a little detour on the way, all right?

I'm gonna talk to her.

I'm here to save lives.

I'm in charge while he's gone.

I'm in here.

I'm just saying that I can handle my own shit, all right?

I'm just saying that...

I'm Kumar.

I'm not joining the mile high club with you.

I'm not saying I wouldn't lynch the guy, but...

I'm not stoppin' until you crack!

I'm scared because they're scary.

I'm serious about that Kool Aid.

I'm so confused. What's...

I'm sorry, bro.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Turb...

I'm sorry. So, wait a second. So you're not with this dude?

I'm sorry. You want rights now.

I'm sure you get this all the time...

I'm taking a glorious pee pee.

I'm taking a whole week off from work here, man.

I'm taking the most incredible dump of all time, man.

I'm telling you, Jorge...

I've been thinking about you this whole time.

I've looked through the files on Harold Lee and Kumar Patel.

I've never felt this way about anyone before, really.

If he can't be a good friend to me, I'm not gonna be a good friend to him.

If we get out of this...

If you could just step aside, please? Just over here.

If you ever need anything, I'm your man.

If you guys need anything else, just let me know, all right?

If you like weed so much, why don't you just legalize it?

If you two don't want to get your dicks wet, that's fine with me.

If you want to know the secret of being, you will come with us.

In case the President comes.

In room films or a magazine.

In the meantime, you are going to the doctor.

Inside this mechanism, I have actually made a little tiny, tiny fan...

Is for some peace and...

Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock?

Is that g**** soda?

Is this ignorant?

Isn't that a KKK bonfire?

Isn't this issue of more importance than an ice fishing trip?

Isn't yours getting married or something?

It better be good. Here.

It helps me relax?

It is an honor to meet you, sir.

It may be. But I'm gonna wait till you get out of the shower.

It means we're gonna fuck you so hard...

It must have been either al Qaeda or North Korea who broke 'em up.

It smells like burnt asshole.

It was such a big mistake.

It was.

It will be a cold day in hell before I let you hijack this plane.

It'll be about Kumar and Harold.

It's 'cause of assholes like you that we're even in this fucking place...

It's 'cause you had something... That's good, that's OK.

It's a baby deer.

It's about seven dollars?

It's all over now.

It's already dead. You need a hand, dude?

It's fucking disaster after fucking disaster.

It's fucking working!

It's going to be a perfect day.

It's gonna be a bumpy fuckin' ride.

It's gonna be exactly like Euro Trip, only it's not gonna suck.

It's gonna be magical.

It's his favorite beer.

It's illegal.

It's just it's Kumar's fault.

It's just this fucking calculus final is killing me.

It's like I'm a whole new Harold. Better, faster, stronger.

It's like right now...

It's like...

It's marijuana! Marijuana!

It's my ball!

It's not all your fault.

It's not even funny. Hurry up, dude, hurry up.

It's not fucking funny, Kumar. It's not fucking funny!

It's not just gonna be about Kumar all the time.

It's not like you would understand, so...

It's not my fault she didn't lube up.

It's obvious these kids are innocent. But you're too dumb to realize that.

It's OK, guys.

It's OK, man.

It's probably just some Amsterdam fling, all right?

It's the best way.

It's the dawn of a new day.

It's the weed capital of the world!

It's total gibberish.

It's tough love.

It's when a girl gives you head while you're sitting on the toilet takin' a shit.

It's your solution to everything, you know that?

Its horn was so shiny.

Jesus Christ, there's a fucking monster!

Jesus, dude. Here, you really need a hit of this.

Jesus, every time the two of us try to get anywhere...

Jesus, I'm sorry, man.

Jesus!

Jesus. OK.

Just a minute.

Just a random security check.

Just because it was born with horrible deformities.

Just chill, OK? We'll be out of this situation.

Just do it!

Just have some coffee. Yeah?

Just let me...

Just want to make sure everything works out smoothly.

Kenny, come on, man. Hurry the fuck up.

Kenny. Travis.

Ku!

Kumar, just do what the guy says.

Kumar!

Kumar?

Kumar.

Kumar.

Kumar.

Kumar. Kumar.

Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for interrupting this beautiful ceremony.

Ladies and Roldy, how would you like to get really fucking high...

Lee and Patel are on their way to Texas as we speak.

Lee and Patel made a phone call to you.

Let me be clear.

Let me help you.

Let me in.

Let's do it.

Let's do that.

Let's get out of here.

Let's go to work. Hey, listen, guys, enjoy.

Let's go, come on!

Let's just say my ex girlfriend's getting married.

Lie to your ex girlfriend about how you got crabs?

Like the government's never screwed us over before. You know what?

Line up in the chutes, girls.

Listen, about our situation...

Listen, I was wrong about you, dude. You're not a douchebag.

Listen, no matter what, don't let the creature know that it's ugly, OK?

Listen, Roldy filled me in on the situation.

Listen. I'm really sorry to bother you with this.

Longhorns coming through.

Look at their faces!

Look at this. Look at this.

Look how cute this deer is, dude. Not like those asshole deer in New Jersey.

Look on the bright side. There's a sink. There's a toilet.

Look, Chief. I'm not here to argue seblantics with you, OK?

Look, don't insult us, all right?

Look, excuse me...

Look, I can't promise you the kind of lifestyle that Colton could.

Look, I know things can be hectic with the wedding.

Look, I know, I'm sorry. I hate it when people disturb me here too.

Look, I'm not even gonna be showing this to my professor, all right?

Look, look, look.

Look, we have been American citizens for over 40 years.

Look, were you able to work everything out with Kumar and Harold?

Looks like I got a little more pull with the President than you, bitch.

Looks like you boys picked the wrong side, huh?

Lynch 'em!

Man, I've never used a sick day before.

Man, somebody call the police. We need to report this.

Man, South Florida here we are.

Man, that was so fuckin' extreme.

Man. I can't believe we're going back.

Maria, Maria, Maria, Maria.

Maria's gonna think I'm a stalker, man. I'm following her to Amsterdam.

Marijuana is illegal, Vanessa.

Match that of Lee and Patel.

May I remind you that we both just ate 30 burgers...

Maybe he's got some family contact info in here.

Maybe we should get the fuck out of here.

Maybe we shouldn't.

Meet the smokeless bong.

Mexicans!

Motherfucker!

Mr. Gold stein.

Mr. Rosenberg.

My dad's all up in my shit too, about this whole...

My friend, two words. Starship fuckin' Troopers.

My God.

My grandpappy bought this land in 1902.

My idiot friend here brought marijuana...

My name is Harold Lee, sir...

My wrist is swelling, man!

Nail on the head.

Negative. He's on an ice fishing trip in Glacier Bay.

Neil Patrick Harris.

Neil, can you just focus on driving? You've had... Focus on the road.

Neil!

Neil?

Neil.

Nice pubes.

Nice.

No doubt. If anyone could clear your names, it's him.

No problem.

No worries.

No, common mistake. Poon handler.

No, fuck it.

No, he didn't mean that.

No, I wish Neil Patrick Harris were still alive, that guy fucking loves him.

No, I won't. Not like Vanessa.

No, I'm sorry. That dickweed is not helping us.

No, Kumar. Kumar!

No, no, no, dude, don't go in there.

No, no, no, it's not a bomb. It's just a bong.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.

No, no, no, no!

No, people, it's a water pipe for tobacco.

No, that's...

No, there's nobody here who is Matthew Perry. No one!

No, we're here to see Raza.

No, we're whores.

No, you see, you have the wrong idea.

No, you will remain in this car.

No!

No?

No. Although that would be incredible. He's my hero.

No. I'm sick of listening to this dirt farmer. What's the upshot?

No. No, we did not eat the cockmeat sandwich. We escaped, thank God.

No. No. No.

No. OK.

No. This is typical government bullshit, sir. I...

No. We... are getting married.

No. We're not... here to complain about the noise.

No. Why do you need a Baby Ruth?

Nonsense. Don't be silly. You're our guests.

North Korea and al Qaeda workin' together.

Not a fuckin' chance.

Not anymore. But the wedding is at his family's estate in Hewitt, Texas.

Nothing is more important than finding a way to get to Texas.

Now back off...

Now do you see why I hate Colton Graham?

Now do you see why I hate you?

Now here's the truly genius part.

Now tell us everything you know about their terrorist plot.

Now why don't you tell me what really happened?

Now, frankly, I find this very offensive.

Now, I thought that part of your life was in the past.

Now!

Now. Now I want each one of y'all to tell me...

Of course not.

Of course, we're gonna have to get high first.

Of course, you're a model. You're very hot. You're a model.

Oh, boy.

Oh, my God, there she is.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Holy shit!

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Are you OK?

Oh, psyched? You think she's gonna be psyched?

Oh, shit. Shit.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

OK, fine. Fine.

OK, first of all, that was Goldstein's idea...

OK, OK. Harold and Kumar.

OK, that's what I figured. It's just your ATFL. I don't think you tore it, though.

OK, then, Beech. How do you propose we find the terrorists, huh?

OK, well, we've got to find a way to get out of this.

OK.

OK. Follow me.

OK. It's sweet.

OK. No, I'll give you a call. All right.

OK. OK.

OK. OK. Good.

OK. So, now how do we get to Raza's?

OK. That's cool.

OK. This isn't creepy.

OK. You don't speak to me, ever.

On the night before your wedding day.

One who possesses the face of a date rapist.

One.