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Home > Man on the Moon (1999)
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Man on the Moon (1999)

Man on the Moon (1999)

Man on the Moon is a captivating 1999 biographical comedy-drama film that delves into the extraordinary life of the enigmatic entertainer Andy Kaufman. Directed by Milos Forman, this thought-provoking movie takes the audience on a rollercoaster ride through the unconventional and unconventional career of Kaufman.

Leading the cast is the immensely talented Jim Carrey, who flawlessly brings Andy Kaufman to life on the big screen. Carrey's remarkable portrayal of Kaufman earned him critical acclaim and showcased his incredible range as an actor. The film also stars Danny DeVito as Kaufman's long-time manager George Shapiro, along with Courtney Love as Kaufman's love interest, Lynne Margulies. The incredible supporting cast includes Paul Giamatti, Bob Zmuda, and Christopher Lloyd, among others.

Andy Kaufman was not just a typical comedian; he was a performance artist who pushed the boundaries of comedy and challenged societal norms. Man on the Moon captures the essence of Kaufman's unique comedic style while shedding light on his personal struggles and insecurities. The film showcases his controversial stints on the hit television show Saturday Night Live, his memorable role as the lovable foreign character Latka Gravas on the sitcom Taxi, and his legendary wrestling match against Jerry "The King" Lawler.

The soundtrack of Man on the Moon is a testament to Kaufman's diverse tastes in music. With songs ranging from the iconic "Man on the Moon" by R.E.M. to the catchy "Mighty Mouse Theme" by The Sandpipers, the soundtrack perfectly complements the film's eccentric and compelling narrative. Whether you're a fan of classic rock, catchy pop tunes, or introspective melodies, this soundtrack offers a little something for everyone.

For fans of the film, playing and downloading these sounds is now easier than ever. With just a few clicks, you can enjoy the captivating musical experience that accompanies Man on the Moon. Immerse yourself in the iconic sounds of R.E.M.'s hauntingly beautiful track or feel nostalgic as you rediscover The Sandpipers' upbeat melody. The soundtrack is a perfect addition to any music collection and a great way to reminisce about this cinematic masterpiece.

Man on the Moon is a timeless film that celebrates the unconventional and challenges the status quo. With an incredible cast, superb direction, and a soundtrack that perfectly embodies the essence of Andy Kaufman, this movie continues to inspire and captivate audiences to this day. So, get ready to dive into the fascinating world of Andy Kaufman and experience the magic of Man on the Moon – a film that will leave you entertained, enlightened, and yearning for more.

Note: You can play and download the sounds from the Man on the Moon soundtrack here.

A a are changed around and mixed up...
A And sitcoms are the lowest form of entertainment.
A And the freeway,
A big, elaborate joke that's only funny to two people in the universe
A cyst or some kind of boil...
A great deal more than that."
A miracle.
A thinkin' how you did me wrong
A very reliable source told me Andy Kaufman has lung cancer.
Aaaah!
Aaaah!
Aah aah aah aah ahh!
Aah.
Abi dabi dabu eh
Abu dabi Abi dabu ah
Abu dabi Abi dabu ah
Abu dabi Abi dabu ah
Actually, Bud, you're wrong.
Actually, the movie is really great.
Again, Kaufman showing a total lack of respect.
Ah, now you are all wet, huh?
Ah!
Ah.
Ahem. I'm actually British.
All is merry and bright
All of the baloney.
All of the most important things in my life...
All right, all right!
All right, you are out of here!
All right!
All right!
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right. Be my guest. Book him.
All right. How much longer's left on my contract?
All right. Which one?
All the sights that I have seen
All you have to do is wet this bar of soap...
Although I've got to leave
An audience is made of people, people who live and breathe.
An idea for a TV show.
An international singing sensation!
And also made me the victim of not a few veteran bores."
And Andy Kaufman is Tony Clifton.
And another pink one.
And don't even want to try.
And good bye.
And I certainly don't appreciate a jerk like you trying to make fun of people from the South!
And I don't appreciate some jerk like you trying to make fun of it.
And I don't like dumb, stupid crackers...
And I hope, for Kaufman's sake, he's ready.
And I learned to get along
And I love you. I really do.
And I understood that he meant...
And I would like to thank you for coming to my movie.
And I'll announce that I'll marry the first woman who beats me.
And I'm gonna get a team of lawyers to sue you...
And if I'm the new Fonz,
And if you ever need representation, we should talk.
And it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
And it was a shining moment for behavioral science.
And it's wonderful, wonderful...
And look into the moon
And look into the stars
And my concern is I don't know where to book you.
And now
And now
And now for lesson two!
And now he's coming back to the table.
And now I would like to do for you...
And now I'm back
And now we'll place the blue crystal.
And now, as a special treat on our first show,
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a treat for staying late,
And one fine morning,
And rub it on your body,
And she allowed me to keep my headphones.
And she took the kids.
And soon that disgusting, filthy dirt will come off!
And spread to his left arm.
And sway back and forth in rhythm to the music.
And tell me this is true.
And that's my father's old car.
And that's the way it goes
And the bird goes
And the crummy news?
And the lion goes
And the river so full of song. River so full of song
And then I'll take the special around.
And then this morning I got up and I noticed that I have, um,
And they put him on the lunch boxes.
And they sing Oh, ain't you glad you're single
And they wanna turn him...
And this is a class act.
And this is for my grand father!
And this is for my mother, and this is for my father!
And this is Melonia. How's my little produce department?
And though I dabble in clowning, I do find it so boorish,
And we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously.
And we sort of got into a fight over it.
And wipe your hands with it...
And yet if I
And you Shapiro!
And you don't know why it's there, but it's there.
And you get back in the business of making people laugh.
And you're gonna be the Fonzie.
And your children and your children's children.
And, uh, Taxi must guarantee...
And, um, I used to do impressions of him,
And... the bathrooms...
Andy is sick.
Andy Kaufman and Howdy Doody present...
Andy Kaufman and the wrestling match
Andy Kaufman!
Andy Kaufman!
Andy needs to relax. This is your job.
Andy, I got something better.
Andy, it's fine. This is what the show is all about.
Andy, look in my eye...
Andy, Merv does not get hate mail.
Andy, please, let's go home!
Andy, stop! Andy!
Andy, uh, the reason I'm calling you like this...
Andy, you don't understand.
Andy, you have to look inside and ask this question.
Andy, you know that's not what I meant.
Andy, you know, Tony doesn't have that kind of money.
Andy! Andy!
Andy! Ohh!
Andy?
Andy? You guys wanna see Andy tonight?
Andy.
Andy.
Andy.
Andy. Andy.
Andy...
Andy's studio friends, they probably run this place.
Andy's up in his room?
Answers
Answers
Answers from the great
Answers from the great
Anyone? Please?
Are pulling on the reins
Are we losing touch
Are we, uh Is everything Are you okay? Huh?
Are you having a good day?
Are you listening to me?
Are... so... colorful
As I go ridin' merrily along
As long as I know how to love
As worn by Andy Kaufman.
Asking ourselves, "Is this real?"
At 191 pounds,
At 236 pounds,
At this point the audience expects me to completely shock them all the time.
Attacking.
Attacking.
Baby, blue, blue blue suede shoes, honey
Baby.
Back in Great Neck, Long Island.
Bam!
Be afraid
Be lonely
Be quiet when a man is talking!
Because I'm gonna do it again and again...
Because Memphis is the wrestling capital of the world.
Because we found one of the old original hobby horses from your movie.
Because we have with us...
Because we've all been insulted by this hideous Andy Kaufman from Hollywood, California.
Bed?
Before we begin this event,
Bells are ringing Children singing
Big freaking deal! Tell me something I don't know, toadstool!
Blue, blue blue suede shoes
Blue, blue blue suede shoes, baby
Bo o ob! Bo o ob!
Bob and I...
Bob! Bo o ob!
Bonus.
Borne back ceaselessly...
Boy, it sure
Budd, what's the story with this guy?
Bullshit, bullshit, my line.
Business may pick up here.
But But it's only gonna be for 30 seconds.
But But...
But But that's Tony down there. It's not Andy.
But do jokes about the traffic, do impressions,
But he'd always been unusually communicative in a reserved way,
But he's also ordained in holistic medicine.
But I didn't because I'm not that kind of guy.
But I don't think you two guys should ever work together again.
But I have my own sports show.
But I think you're very interesting,
But it's funny.
But it's gonna cost a fortune.
But others disagree.
But she don't know how to cook.
But short of faking my own death or setting the theater on fire,
But then I spent so many nights
But wasn't it funny?
But we better warn Andy first.
But we don't want to upset the folks at home,
But what if I... hurt somebody's feelings?
But what you can't do is throw coffee.
But what's the point? What is the point?
But when it comes to wrestling
But why doesn't the other one just learn how to drive?
But you might also be brilliant.
But you, you are a m ing hole!
But you're just poor white trash,
But, um, it's not a gag, Bob.
But... it is so stupid.
Ca wa wa wa wa wa wa wantare
Ca wa wa wa wa wantare whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Calm down, George. That's not gonna help anything.
Came up...
Can I help you with something?
Can you call us an ambulance?
Carl was the last one to sneak to the bathroom to get a little high,
Carnegie Hall!
Caspiar, huh?
Chick, pick, wick, lick!
Come on up here.
Come on, Kaufman!
Come on, Latka!
Come on! You wanna take me?
Come on.
Come on. Everybody.
Come out wrestling when you hear the bell.
Come to Hollywood and help me destroy a TV show?
Coming back from commercial, and
Coming in the ring, pushing me around!
Crashing to the ground
Crashing to the ground
Created and Encoded by Gaz of www.YIFY TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet.
Cut it out!
Dad?
Diane, this is George.
Dick!
Did Did he get hurt?
Did you come down here to wrestle or act like an ass?
Did you see that?
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Did your doctor say it's okay...
Do I wanna go to Memphis and get married?
Do not twist my noodle, toy poodle!
Do not write this down, okay?
Do this.
Do you think so?
Do you think you could grace us with a couple of steps from "Jingle, Jangle, Jingle"?
Do you wanna bet?
Do you want me to come over, we'll talk about it?
Don't
Don't believe everything you hear, George.
Don't ever treat me like that again.
Don't hurt him!
Don't make me laugh, George.
Don't turn around now
Don't worry, folks! There's enough milk and cookies for everyone!
Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you proud.
Don't you touch me! You're a nut!
Don't you worry about that, George.
Don't,
Dramatic]
Dreaming of you
Due to Mr. Clifton's vocal constraints, out of respect for him,
During the commercials,
Eeee
Eeee
Eeee eee
Eleanor Cody Gould.
Even if you don't like the person sitting next to you. Okay?
Ever, the real me.
Every heart should be
Every show is worse than the last one.
Everybody has secretly brought along a joint.
Everybody sing, "The world is such a wonderful place."
Everybody's gonna be talking about how sick I am,
Everything okay... Carl?
Excellent choice.
Excuse me! Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Faker!
Faster!
Faster! Come on!
Faster! Come on!
Faster! Faster!
First come, first served!
First I was afraid
Five hundred.
Follow the bouncing ball.
For Christ's sake, you're not gonna hurt anybody's feelings.
For Christ's sakes, we're the number one network. Can't we afford a decent TV?
For its healing powers.
For milk and cookies!
For sure they're gonna fire me, so if you want to see me again you'll have to come to Memphis
For the boys and girls again
For this friendly, friendly world.
For, um
Forget it. Forget it!
Forty million people are watching your ass every week, Kaufman.
Four guest appearances for Tony Clifton.
Four years and seven months.
Foxy Jackson and Andy Kaufman right here, one on one!
Foxy Jackson's gonna take Kaufman to the woodshed, folks.
Foxy's about to take Kaufman right out of his shorts!
French fries and a porterhouse steak.
From outer space
From your eyes
From... uh
Fuck you! I'm not goin'!
Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave.
Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler?
Funny.
Gee, restaurants are amazing, aren't they?
George, this is gonna kill Tony.
George, what am I supposed to do?
George.
George...
Get him off of her. Come on!
Get out of here, little drummer boy!
Go back to the kitchen where you belong before you get hurt.
Go on now, go Walk out the door
Go.
Goddamn! I paid ten bucks for that cigar!
Good bye
Good bye, everybody! Thank you! Good night!
Good bye.
Good night!
Gorsky.
Gosh, uh Gee, Lynne, I mean
Ha!
Hah!
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah Hallelujah
Hang your stocking and say your prayers
Have you ever been with another woman?
Have, uh, g grown apart, uh
Having you
He asks that if you please extinguish...
He gets the situation well in hand
He just talks tough, but I owe him.
He once faked a lion escaping from the Chicago Zoo.
He plans these things. He takes over and hires actors.
He stormed out, and a lot of other people left in the middle of your act.
He wants us scratching our heads,
He'll do it.
He's an absolute embarrassment to humanity, this man from Hollywood.
He's an actor.
He's gonna apologize to Jerry Lawler and repent for all his bad guy shenanigans.
He's got a bag that's filled with toys
He's hurt bad.
He's just engaging the audience. He's riling them up.
He's the King.
He's the Southern heavyweight champion. He'll kill you.
He's up in San Francisco doin' a concert.
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle
Hello, I am Jimmy Carter,
Hello.
Hello. George Shapiro here.
Her cooking is so bad.
Here comes Santa Claus Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus!
Here is Andy Kaufman!
Hey, Andy are you goofing on Elvis
Hey, Andy.
Hey, baby
Hey, come back! Give me the camera! Come here!
Hey, excuse me. Are you Andy Kaufman?
Hey, George. How are you? I'm Bob.
Hey, George. I'm not sure we can do anything for you.
Hey, give me that! This is Zmuda! He's one of 'em!
Hey, hey, hey. I just wanted to thank you for doing such a great job.
Hey, hot shot. How you doin'?
Hey, I really enjoyed your set.
Hey, Kaufman,
Hey, no choke holds! I told you!
Hey, that's Andy Kaufman.
Hey, um,
Hey, wanna go to Memphis and get married?
Hey, well But why can't I make a gag out of this?
Hey!
Hey! Stop it! Stop it!
Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hey.
Hi, Andy.
Hi, Eleanor. It's great to have you here. It's a real honor.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi. Right this way, please.
Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk.
How 'bout me and you dolls go out and get some real food?
How are you all doin'? Where you from? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How can I help you?
How dare you make light of this?
How is this gonna make you the biggest star in the world?
How you doin'? You enjoyin' the show?
Huh?
I
I I can't play stoned.
I I feel... stupid.
I I I love my wife,
I am a national TV star,
I am Andy...
I am going to grace you with a reading...
I am gonna sue you, Lawler!
I am not Andy.
I am not fooling.
I am the champion! No woman can beat
I am the winner!
I apologize for all the wrestling I've ever done.
I apologize. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I brought a real wrestler.
I brought you some Haagen Dazs.
I can do it!
I can't believe that I believed
I can't forget you
I can't play stoned.
I choose you
I decided to cut out...
I demand silence when I am talking!
I did it! This is for real!
I did not agree to wrestle you! I did not agree!
I did that to get rid of those folks who just... wouldn't understand me...
I didn't even know what television was.
I didn't mean to startle you. I really liked what you did out there.
I do a clean show here.
I do not appreciate, uh, racial slurs!
I do not wrestle men!
I don't deserve Haagen Dazs.
I don't do drugs, and I don't enjoy making light of them.
I don't even know what's funny. I'm a song and dance man.
I don't give a fuck who that is. I'm gonna fire him.
I don't know what else to do.
I don't know whether Andy works on the show anymore.
I don't know who you talked to. I didn't talk to anybody.
I don't know, Andy. I think I have to let you go.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. Why did they go to England?
I don't think that Kaufman is prepared for Foxy Jackson.
I don't understand this act.
I don't understand why you're laughing. I'm not joking.
I don't wanna have anything to do with this. Nothing.
I don't want to tell them.
I feel like I'm being surrounded by negative energy.
I found out today that Taxi has been canceled.
I get that all the time.
I go to the retreat every year.
I got 20 bucks says you work for me now!
I got cancer. I got lung cancer.
I got spurs that jingle j angle j ingle
I got the chicken wings from Kentucky Fried
I got the wings
I got the wings of a dove
I got you the script three days ago, and you haven't said a damn word until today.
I had a really good flight, and the stewardess was very, very nice.
I had it taped down and everything.
I hate to break it to you, but the problem here is you don't have the build for it.
I have never been so emotional...
I have to ask your permission to fire Tony.
I hope I didn't offend you.
I hope you don't take everything I did in there seriously.
I hope you're not upset.
I I don't care.
I I recognize him from The In Laws.
I I wanna generate my my own material.
I It took me an hour and a half to get here.
I It's apparently not working.
I just I think of the world as, as an illusion,
I just walked in to find you here
I just want to say a couple of things to you disgusting people!
I just want to say, until we meet again...
I know I'll stay "aleeve"
I know I'm not supposed to say those things on television.
I know the college kids really like Andy Kaufman.
I know Tony better than you do, and even if he has to work another ten years to pay it off,
I know. I'll tell you what.
I know. I've seen this! I know this.
I love you
I love you
I mean, it's just...
I mean, maybe I could go on the show and I could say...
I mean, this is not healthy. You should be outside playing sports.
I mean, what are you gonna do
I need this place like I need a shotgun blast to the face!
I never agreed to this! I will not do this!
I play big showrooms in Vegas.
I prefer the fine arts, henceforth, today...
I really want one.
I reviewed that script last night and I was not satisfied.
I said, break it up, Kaufman!
I should've asked you for the key
I started using Suave
I stayed up all night with these sweet ladies right here.
I tell you what.
I think he's from Lithuania.
I think them dumb Polacks been ridiculed enough.
I thought it was cooking. There was a man over here that was really upset.
I wanna be the biggest star in the world.
I wanna go back to work.
I wanna reach the top.
I want it to be everything that's joyful in the world piled one on top of the other,
I want no kicking, biting, scratching, head butts. Do you understand?
I want real gut reactions.
I want the audience to have gone through an experience.
I want the hummingbirds
I want this show to build and build.
I was in the hospital three days, in traction.
I was just playing bad guy wrestler, you know. It's just a role. It's not me.
I was just so impressed with your wrestling moves.
I was promised creative control.
I was putrefied
I was the one who just said I didn't believe him.
I watch the stars fall silent
I will "sur veev"
I will "sur veev"
I will "sur veev"
I will have both!
I will have this fraulein und the one with the big strudels.
I will shut my mouth and pay her $500.
I will survive!
I will survive! I will survive!
I will survive! I will survive! I will survive!
I wish that you could see
I would like to do for you...
I would like to start...
I would like to take everybody in this entire audience out...
I would like to use the phone!
I wouldn't have traded it for anything.
I, I think you can use some of those words on television,
I, uh
I, um, only got 28%.
I'll always be stayin'
I'll call my secretary.
I'll get it.
I'll get up in the ring...
I'll see you backstage, baldy.
I'll see you next week, though.
I'll show it to people and see if anybody wants to buy it.
I'll tell you something else.
I'm I'm a badperson.
I'm a lucky guy.
I'm always
I'm always dreaming
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
I'm breaking through I'm bending spoons
I'm going to reveal for the very first time,
I'm going to the Philippines.
I'm gonna say the animal, and then you tell me what it says.
I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got, I swear to God.
I'm gonna tell you something, Kaufman we've had enough of your crap!
I'm here, aren't I?
I'm inclined to reserve all judgments,
I'm Jerry Lawler, the king of Memphis wrestling!
I'm keepin' flowers in full bloom
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great
I'm looking for answers from the great
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond
I'm not gonna allow you to make fools out of all these people.
I'm not sure how Andy's gonna take this.
I'm pushin' an elephant up the stairs
I'm pushing an elephant up the stairs
I'm serious. I could really use the money right now.
I'm sick and I'm trying to get better, but everybody's looking at me funny.
I'm sorry for all the grief I've ever given.
I'm sorry, George. We just thought it was funny.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Hey. Hey.
I'm sorry. I I just... can't do it.
I'm the king I'm the king
I'm the king of Memphis, Tennessee
I'm tossin' up punch lines that were never there
I'm tossing up punch lines that were never there
I'm worried about Andy.
I'm... Fonzie?
I've been hearing fabulous things about the special.
I've got all my life to live I've got all my love to give
I've got some freaky rare kind.
I've got the brains!
I've got to be
I've got to be me
I've gotta be me
I've just...
I've wrestled women bigger than him, and I've mopped the floor with them.
If if I gave you both...
If I find out that you're behind this, I'll kill you, Zmuda!
If I'd have known for just one second
If the thoughts of this world come into your head, don't be upset by them.
If there is a woman here tonight who can come up here and prove me wrong,
If there is one woman here tonight who thinks she can defeat me,
If they want to see the pile driver.
If you believe
If you believe
If you believe
If you believed
If you believed
If you believed
If you book Tony, do not expect to get Andy.
If you don't attend the retreat.
If you pass up this opportunity,
If you were a man, you'd apologize to me right now.
In all my life.
In fact,
In that case, it has been an honor. "Good bee"!
In the air
In the history of Memphis, Tennessee,
In this friendly friendly world
In this friendly friendly world
In this sketch, two married couples are out to dinner.
In your entire lives combined!
Into a lovable, goofy mechanic...
Into the past."
Is it an act? Is it an act?
Is there
Is there a doctor in the house? Stop the music!
Is there a secret to being funny?
Is this for real?
Is too much traffic.
It 's a dollar...
It 's a good deal.
It 's Fridays!
It 's the end
It all takes place in a taxi stand.
It appears that you are.
It is a very small island in the Caspian Sea.
It is over! It is over! That is it!
It it was so much traffic.
It makes Tony real, gives him three dimensions.
It seems you just don't respect anything.
It stands out in my memory from Gatsby's other parties that summer."
It sunk.
It was rigged and I demand a recount.
It would mean my very life
It'll be a Saturday morning kind of thing...
It'll be great. People will think their TV is broken.
It's a cover up!
It's a practical joke.
It's a show biz hospital.
It's been good
It's called large celled carcinoma.
It's dead people laughing. Did you know that? Those people are dead!
It's gonna be a pile driver!
It's good for his career, George.
It's good, old fashioned entertainment, George. Everyone loves a villain.
It's guest hosting the TV show Fridays.
It's hysterical. It gets very funny.
It's incredible, isn't it?
It's just about that time
It's just filled with colorful characters,
It's just part of the show.
It's just that we feel that, well, you and the program...
It's just your stress unraveling itself.
It's kind of a big day.
It's like ballet. Whoa!
It's like the old days of the carnival barker...
It's live, they'll give you carte blanche...
It's my buddy's first time with a prostitute.
It's my special! I have creative control. Now roll it!
It's not a great TV show, but it'll be good for you.
It's okay! It's okay!
It's probably gonna be worth a lot 'cause it was actually up my nose.
It's really great to be here.
It's show business. Show business. Show business.
It's terrible. I I do not even like it.
It's the Rockettes!
It's what I need. It's what I need to do the show.
Jerked them around so much.
Jerry "The King" Lawler!
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jesus Christ, Carol, he's got lung cancer.
Jesus Christ. Close the goddamn door. Close it!
Jump in bed Cover up your head
Just a little friendly conversation, George.
Just one more song For you
Just slowly come back to the mantra.
Kaufman and Marguiles Center for Sexual Research.
Kaufman in trouble!
Kaufman!
Kaufman!
Kaufman?
Kaufman's crappin' on my act!
Kaufman's due a trip to the old woodshed here.
Kaufman's hangin' on the ropes like a little baby.
Kept thinkin' I could never live
Kid Genius told me to mess with the vertical hold.
Kids love this stuff.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Entertainment,
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tony Clifton!
Ladies and gentlemen, since you're such a...
Ladies and gentlemen, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir!
Ladies and gentlemen, uh,
Latka! Latka! Latka!
Latka.
Lawler is gonna settle a score for each and every one of us,
Lawler seems to be willing to offer a free hold of some kind.
Lawler, I did not agree to this. This is against the rules!
Let Kaufman get in there, and let's see what kind of man he is.
Let me ask you, folks What kind of man would wrestle a woman anyway?
Let me book you some colleges now,
Let me tell you something, Kaufman.
Let's do what we came here to do. Let's wrestle right now!
Let's go, cat!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Let's go! Bring the audience in!
Let's see if you can handle Foxy Jackson!
Like the one I just did and the one I'm doing now.
Like, "Why did the Siamese twins go to England?"
Listen, I got this job that I want you to take.
Look out! Look out!
Look, I listen. Listen to me.
Look, I'm gonna put my foot down. No more playing alone.
Look, I've been in this business for 20 years!
Look, it pains me to say this,
Look, this is really, um, great
Look, uh,
Look, uh, I'm probably out of my mind,
Look.
Looks like somethin' my dog puked up.
Lung cancer.
Lynne? Come on. Hey. Hey, hey.
Lynne. We got Lynne as a volunteer.
Mach schnell, mach schnell!
Man on the moon
Man on the moon
Man on the moon
Man, look, it's credibility.
Man] We want the truth, boy!
Marie
Maybe I can pick on someone a little smaller than me.
Maybe some blue material.
Me too. And
Merry Christmas!
Merv Griffin got 2,000 pieces of hate mail.
Mighty Mouse will join the fight
Mm hmm, and his name is Colin.
Mom, it 's Cedars Sinai.
Monopoly, Twenty one Checkers and Chess
Mopping the floors,
Mott the Hoople and the game of Life
Mr. Bear is saying that Mrs. Cat made his head fall off.
Mr. Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess
Mr. Kaufman requires an undisturbed 90 minutes of meditation prior to filming.
Mr. Kaufman will only appear in half the episodes of Taxi.
Mr. Trouble never hangs around
Musical guest Andy Kaufman!
My father gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.
My father said I could've hired a lawyer and sued you for everything you've got.
My father said Lassie bit me, so I said she did too.
My heart is radiating pure energy.
My wife take my wife. Please take her.
Named
Never met you
Never!
No matter what I do
No more Kaufman stories. He's burned us too many times.
No one's ever done it. I'm not like everyone else.
No to the whole thing. It doesn't sound good to me.
No wonder my happy heart sings
No, but he will.
No, I am from Caspiar.
No, no, Latka! Listen to me. Listen to me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's bullshit.
No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no.
No, no, no, th that's part of the show.
No, no, no, that's good. We can make that play.
No, no, no. L Look, Gene, let me be really clear about this.
No, no, please keep it down. We've got a long way to go.
No, no. Drop it now, Andy!
No, no. Women are superior to men in many ways.
No, that's I don't wanna do that. That's a bummer.
No, these these things happen all the time at the networks, only they cut away.
No, you die, and then, uh, you come back to life.
No!
No!
No.
No. I am only fooling.
No. I'd rather work here than at ABC.
Nobody cares where you're from!
Nobody promised you creative control.
Not to mention that my wife left me,
Now close your eyes.
Now get in the ring. I'll give you a free headlock. Okay? Come on!
Now go, cat, go Now, don't you
Now I I would like to
Now Mama Rivoli's is proud to present...
Now slowly open your eyes.
Now the King is asking this crowd...
Now the movie is much shorter.
Now there goes the King.
Now those big white cells are attacking the cancer cells.
Now, Andy, did you hear about this one
Now, I can't afford to blow this whole episode, so...
Now, I never thought I'd see the day that
Now, let's go do wn andmeet some ofthe audience.
Now, okay, you know,
Now?
Now.
O kay!
Of all the queens that ever lived
Of course it 's real. We 're in a hospital.
Of one of the greatest novels ever written,
Of you
Oh You jerk!
Oh no, not I, I will "sur vivvy"
Oh, blue, blue blue suede shoes
Oh, come on. That's just not right.
Oh, good grief!
Oh, he doesn't always call himself that.
Oh, I know, Andy,
Oh, I'm sorry. Uh
Oh, look at how cute he is, huh? Isn't this great?
Oh, my!
Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, my.
Oh, no. Zmuda, I'm gonna kill you.
Oh, pardon me. That's your ass.
Oh, please. He's definitely not dying.
Oh, really? You wanna book Tony Clifton at Harrah's Tahoe.
Oh, Rose
Oh, Rose Marie
Oh, the King just threw Kaufman down like a rag doll!
Oh, wait, no. You gotta pay first.
Oh, we busted through. Come on, girls.
Oh, well we were dancin'
Oh, whether I find a place in this world
Oh, whether I'm right
Oh, why does Andy do that? Why? Why?
Oh, yeah? I don't care!
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
Oh, yes we drive a taxi
Oh, you wanna "rassle" me?
Oh!
Oh! Andy!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Look at you.
Oh. Mmm. Ohhh!
Ohh!
Ohh! Ha ha!
Ohhhhhhhhhh
Okay, and we'll really We'll just drag it out. All right?
Okay, bullshit, bullshit, my line.
Okay, but please, let him down gently.
Okay, guys, let's do our dirt!
Okay, that's it. Go to commercial now.
Okay!
Okay! Great! Good night!
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. All right.
Okay. Let's try two of those.
On the back of my neck.
On the sea or on the land
On your special, you can fuck with their heads.
One thing I do not like...
One, two, three
One! Two!
Only positive energy allowed beyond this point.
Oooh!
Or are you just addicted to causing trouble?
Or at least the same sort of people, the same profusion of "
Or never belong
Or we could skip the meal and go right to the "montage a trois."
Or whether I'm wrong
Or you can get in the ring with a man and wrestle for real!
Our house is not a television station.
Our story begins...
Over my shoulder a piano falls
Oww!
Oww!
Party time for Latka?
Personally, I don't think that doctor guy was very convincing.
Philosophically.
Please remember
Please welcome, from Taxi, the Improv's own Mr. Andy Kaufman!
Please,
Please, Andy, enough with the wrestling.
Please?
Please.
Praise the Lord!
Put it right there.
Putting Andy back on Saturday Night Live.
Read the cue cards.
Really good one!
Record!
Reeking, seeking, creaking. Freaking!
Right here
Right here!
Right there, okay? Awww!
Right, I wanted to talk to you about, uh,
Right. Everything's a joke to this guy. Just like that thing.
Roar!
Say it again.
Say it with me.
Scrubbing the carrots, making the babies,
Security, get in here!
Security!
See, I don't want to go for cheap laughs.
See?
Settle down.
Sh
She saw it And it's not true.
She's 94 years young.
She's alive! Hallelujah!
She's nothing more than Andy Kaufman's girlfriend.
She's trained, and she's ready!
Should lose you
Shut the hell up, all of ya!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Shut up!
Silence.
Since you've all been such good boys and girls,
Sir, there 's a problem down on the Kaufman special.
Sit down and enjoy that, okay?
So help me. Where do you see yourself?
So I guess that's too lofty a concept for you.
So I understand you're from Lithuania.
So I was thinking, since I'm still kind of a quasi celebrity,
So near
So now Andy is going to tell them that it was all just a prank.
So thankful
So the other one could drive.
So though we are in danger we never despair
So we beat on, boats against the current,
So we can go to court,
So we're leaving the decision up to you.
So what do you have here?
So you just pretend to be an asshole?
So, all my friends good bye
So, I guess Jerry just, um,
So, Mr. Besserman, same spot tomorrow?
So...
So... American.
Some of us at Saturday Night Live...
Sometimes he's Tony, and he wears a tux.
Sometimes I get lost.
Sometimes I wish that I'd
Son, this has got to stop.
Special audience
Stay!
Step on my blue suede shoes
Stepping inside a squared circle.
Stick a a needle in your eye!
Strangers sitting around, stuffing dead animals into their faces.
Stretch our arms out further,
Stupid jokes and canned laughter!
Sure.
Sweetest dreams of you
Take off that apron.
Talking about the terrible things
Taxi's been canceled.
Tell Kaufman this network will never air this program.
Tell me, are you locked in the punch
Tell you what I think maybe I'll get a lawyer here.
Ten.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. Goodnight!
Thank you, Andy. I'm delighted to be here. It's overwhelming to me.
Thank you.
Thank you. I do all my own stunts.
Thank you...
Thank you...
Thankful for this friendly, friendly
Thankful for this friendly, friendly world.
Thanks for coming on my show.
Thanks for having me on your show, Andy.
Thanks for having me on your show, Andy.
Thanks, Andy. I love you too.
Thanks.
That big mouth son of a gun has got a free headlock!
That is not an audience. That is plaster.
That kid is totally meshuga.
That lucky little lady...
That maybe I could charge people to touch it.
That means that Mighty Mouse is on his way
That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way
That means we're a success.
That should, uh, let him blow off steam and relieve the stress.
That this whole fight episode was staged.
That year by year recedes before us.
That's That's what negotiations are all about.
That's because I've only done it once. They'll get used to it.
That's better.
That's funny,
That's funny.
That's funny.
That's hilarious! That is hilarious!
That's illegal.
That's just the kind of thing you two would work out to fuck me up.
That's my father.
That's my little brother Michael.
That's my little sister Carol.
That's not true! That's not true!
That's okay. Not a problem.
That's ridiculous. You don't even smoke.
That's right.
That's right.
That's smart.
That's the one I have to do? Okay, let me see.
That's what I'm good at.
The
The audience or yourself?
The cancer started in Andy's lungs...
The cheers turned to jeers.
The dancing bears
The Elvis Presley.
The end.
The Fonzie, the crazy, breakout character...
The Giant's flavor tight pouch Lets you
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.
The green light, the orgiastic future...
The holder of the world intergender championship,
The imitations.
The King folded him up like an accordion that time.
The King took matters into his own hands!
The last surviving cowgirl from that 1931 film.
The most popular athlete...
The next time you make an appearance, women are gonna picket.
The only reason why I did Taxi the only reason
The people at ABC told me to explain to you...
The Philippines? What's in the Philippines?
The president of the United States.
The referee assigned to this bout
The sky is the limit, man.
The viewer must be able to see the program.
The winner and undisputed intergender wrestling champion of the world,
Then ABC is just gonna have to... give me what I want!
Then we could pretend it's a porterhouse steak, Andy.
Then we'll run off and get married on the David Letterman show.
Then you can get up, we'll wrestle, I'll let you win
Then you get killed, and I did the booking.
Then, then help me. Help me, okay? Guide me.
There 's nothing up his sleeve
There 's nothing up his sleeve
There 's nothing up his sleeve
There are buses outside! Everybody follow me!
There is an artiste on stage.
There is nothing up my sleeve
There isn't a real you.
There it is!
There's a drug in those cookies.
There's a new planet in the solar system
There's not a camera in that wall.
These guys are brilliant. I wanna be a bad guy wrestler in the worst way.
These guys are huge.
They are going to lynch him.
They detest you.
They didn't know what hit them! Oh!
They don't want you back.
They have it all over men.
They love me, they hate me, they walk out. It's all great.
They put a man on the moon
They put a man on the moon
They put a man on the moon
They said yes. You're gettin' everything. Everything!
They say he's just not funny anymore.
They turned on you.
They would kick your ass.
They'll bang on the television, but they won't be able to fix it!
They'll deny it up and down, but believe me, it's true.
They'll get out of their chairs, walk over to the TV,
They're They're all professionals. All right?
They're askin' for it.
They're just not becoming of an individual of spiritual enlightenment.
Think Andy Kaufman's a comic genius.
This I'm sick of this shit, Lawler.
This cannot leave this room.
This is This is classy.
This is a bar of soap.
This is artsy fartsy shit. I mean, what
This is assault and battery,
This is bad.
This is big.
This is dead air.
This is great business.
This is great!
This is not funny.
This is not good. His stress level is affecting his work.
This is ridiculous.
This is Saturday Night Live, the hippest audience in television.
This is serious. I went to the hospital.
This is the magical part of the show. The show's not all like this.
This is the new Taxi theme song.
This is toilet paper!
This is Tony Clifton, a name to respect, a name to fear!
This is too much, man.
This is, uh,
This is, uh, my writer and old friend Bob Zmuda.
This one, I guess.
This was fantastic, George.
This woman is a fake!
This... is the end of the movie.
Three hundred dollars,
Three! That is it!
Time out!
To dump him
To go back to work?
To keep Andy, call 1 900 555 7618.
To make it real, some of you down there knew what was going on and some of you didn't.
To me, this was a shining moment for wrestling.
To rule me
To say
To star on a prime time network sitcom!
To the jailhouse rock
To touch my celebrity cyst.
To wander along with you
To wander through
To wander through
Today's special guest, Mr. Bear.
Tomorrow
Tomorrow we will run faster,
Tonight I had to come...
Tony Clifton is Andy Kaufman.
Tony Clifton is gonna go on Taxi next week.
Tony Clifton!
Tony Clifton.
Total lack of respect from Mr. Hollywood
Trust us.
Twist the knobs, call the TV store.
Ugh.
Uh
Uh oh. Oh, look out, Kaufman!
Uh, but we
Uh, dramatic purposes.
Uh, I have cancer.
Uh, I just get caught up, that's all.
Uh, I particularly suggest the lotus root.
Uh, I would like to thank you, Your Holiness.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Uh, Mr. Kaufman gets his own network special.
Uh, okay, positive, positive. Okay
Uh... yeah! Is this George Shapiro ?
Uhh! Ah!
Um
Um, a large tub of popcorn, please. Extra butter.
Um, but y y you, uh,
Um, no. I'm sorta busy right now.
Um, took it personally.
Um...
Until the audience can't stand it and they turn into children right in front of me.
Until the audience realized that Tony wasn't you.
Upbeat]
Upbeat]
Very difficult for me to say.
Very high vibrations,
Very lucrative opportunity...
Vo...
Vo...
W Would Andy like to tell us...
Wait up.
Wait. Uh I'm sorry.
Was so that I could have my own special.
We are so very fortunate tonight,
We can sell that, Andy.
We don't want the viewers to get out of their chairs.
We feel that it's best...
We got 40 actors tearin' through the zoo, they're all screamin'.
We got the room all worked up, like punk rock.
We had a deal.
We have to let him go.
We just don't wish your presence here.
We should all treat each other like brothers and sisters.
We were dancin'
We work in a creative business. There's no telling what people are gonna like or dislike.
We'll have a garage sale. No, I'm over and out.
We'll just have to go down and tell him.
We'll see about that, Suzy Q
We're gonna We're gonna start by singing some songs.
We're gonna have a great show tonight.
We're just listening for his call
We've gone to commercial!
We've initiated an aggressive radiation program.
Welcome back to Saturday Night Live.
Welcome to the Follies "Bree gere."
Well
Well, Andy, the wrestling, the sexist remarks, the foul language,
Well, everybody else gets this place cookin'.
Well, here we go. The King is ready.
Well, I've always wanted to play Carnegie Hall.
Well, it's one for the money two for the show three to get ready
Well, Kaufman wins it, but he doesn't look like a winner right now.
Well, let me tell you something, baby.
Well, let me tell you something, Mr. Lawler I am gonna make you scream for mercy!
Well, like, in the kitchen and stuff, yeah.
Well, people love comedians.
Well, we could put all of this together in a soup.
Well, you can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
Weren't you the one that tried to hurt me with "good bye"
What a beautiful sight
What a crock.
What am I, Harry Houdini, huh?
What are you doing?
What are you talkin' about? Andy comes here almost every weekend.
What do you mean, it's part of the show?
What do you say?
What do you want?
What does he think he's doing?
What kind of guy are you?
What the hell are you talkin' about, George?
What the hell's goin' on?
What you saw was real!
What, did we hit a little speed bump?
What?
What?
What?
What? Well, there you go.
What's wrong with this guy?
When he hears this mighty sound
When he'd get the crowd all riled up.
When I say "okay," you say "Okay!" Okay?
When I'm famous, I'm gonna sell these,
When you've got someone you love
Where I can goof off with the kids.
Where's it say Kaufman's in the act?
Whereas I am getting stronger and stronger.
Whew.
Whew. Maybe that one isn't for you.
Who all the kids imitate,
Who are you trying to entertain?
Who did that?
Who the hell are you?
Who the hell is Tony Clifton?
Who, Andy?
Who? Who?
Whoa ohh!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa! Somebody's wearin' a lot of perfume around here!
Whoa! The little lady is upset!
Whoo!
Whoop de doo, whoop de di!
Whoops! Hey, look out! I think you sat in some cottage cheese.
Why are you laughing? I don't understand. I'm not being funny now.
Why did you call me? You are the last person I expected to call me.
Why don't you go on, get out of here!
Why don't you just take off, Kaufman!
Why he called us out at 4:00 in the morning?
Why is he saying these things?
Why Memphis?
Why should any heart
Why should any heart
Why?
Will
Will get to marry me!
Willing to try to do it or die
Wish that I could do
With a
With each day so full of joy
With each night so full of dreams
With that sad look upon your face
With the the Jimmy Carter.
With the sky so full of stars
Without the business, there's no show.
Without you by my side
World
Would anybody like to pay a dollar to touch my cyst?
Would you rather I kept reading, or do you prefer to hear the phonograph record?
Would you, um,
Wow.
Wow. You're still here.
Wrestling's a very serious sport to me,
Y You get better, you get worse.
Y You You
Yaah! Hah! Aah!
Yaki di shika tala ga bola ga deba ga dili ga bohhhhhhhhhhhh
Yea!
Yeah
Yeah, but, uh, I mean, you said some pretty inflammatory things.
Yeah, gee,
Yeah, I know all the tricks. How are you doin'?
Yeah, Kaufman doesn't want any part of Lawler.
Yeah, look at Kaufman.
Yeah, sure, George, yeah, and we happen to think that it's hilarious.
Yeah, uh
Yeah, we all agree, uh, completely about the wrestling.
Yeah, we have to do this. He's just a terrible actor.
Yeah, yeah, well, I'll take my chances, all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you are.
Yeah, you can stay away from Andy Kaufman, if you know what's good for you.
Yeah, you're impressed with something.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah! Come on!
Yeah! Whoa!
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. That's true.
Yeah. Uh, Andy, uh, I got some crummy news.
Yep, it's a friendly world.
Yes, because you have not given them any clues that this is a parody.
Yes, it was funny for a little while,
Yes, sir, when there is a wrong to right
Yes.
You You don't even pay me.
You and you.
You are a complicated person.
You are getting a once in a lifetime,
You are out! You are down!
You are really, really good at it. You are.
You aren't a bad person.
You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes
You can have this one.
You can hear the ovation, or lack of one, for Andy Kaufman.
You can say, "Santa, what am I getting for Christmas this year?"
You didn't have to do that.
You don't have to be sorry, Jerry.
You don't know the real me.
You don't think I can beat him?
You feel stupid? What about us?
You get in the kitchen, 'cause I'm gonna make you do my dishes!
You get two Andy Kaufmans for the price of one.
You give 'em Mighty Mouse. You give 'em Elvis.
You have all just participated in a happening.
You havin' a You enjoyin' that pasta carbonara?
You hungry?
You just
You know what? I'm not a prop.
You know, Howdy, I've been watching you since I was a little boy.
You know, you show a lot of promise.
You know?
You look like you could use a little drink up there.
You look thin!
You make one more sound, I'll come down there and put your frickin' head in the soup!
You make them love you now, and then later on,
You pulled her hair! You won't be getting a second warning!
You see?
You see? I am from Hollywood!
You see? You see this?
You should feel rested, relaxed and alert.
You signed for five years, so...
You tryin' to do some Polish humor?
You wanna "rassle" me Memphis style?
You wanna play Arizona State?
You wanna see some humor? Here's some humor right here.
You wanna wrestle?
You will never, never see another one like it again.
You'd be back to bother me
You're You're terrific.
You're doing sing alongs for six year olds and puppets that aren't funny.
You're firing me?
You're insane!
You're just the best.
You're like some stupid kid who comes home from school
You're not a stand up, and, uh,
You're not gettin' in!
You're not welcome anymore
You're so proud.
You're surrounded by what you create.
You've got a deal with ABC. You've gotta honor it.
You've got to let me attend these classes. It's what keeps me balanced.
Your act doesn't exactly translate itself to film, so
Your love has given me wings
Your name's not Gorsky.
Your smoking material, your cigars and cigarettes.
Yuck.
Andy!
Uh, we need a doctor.
"Take my wife, please"? At least it's a joke. Try some jokes.
a habit that has opened up many curious natures to me...
A ki chay wah A ki chay wah
A sitcom? Yeah.
Aaah! No matter what I do
Abu day Abu day
Ah, I'm sorry. They're a bunch of assholes. Yeah.
and again and again and again and again
And he says "Cancer." No, that
And here is your gift voucher to Red Lobster. Thank you so much.
And I grew strong Mid tempo Disco]
And it's gotta stop. Andy.
And that's my mom. Janice?
And the bird goes Tweet.
And the cat goes Meow! Meow!
And the cat goes Meow.
And the dog goes Ruff.
And the pig goes Oink.
And your Turtle Wax. I don't want Turtle Wax.
Andy is very sincere. Right.
Andy, there's been some trouble with Tony. Oh, no.
Andy, this is every comedian's dream! I'm not a comedian.
Andy, you got a little something Hmm?
Andy. Andy. What's up?
Anybody got a flashlight and a couple of shovels?
Are you positive? Yeah!
Attacking. Attacking.
Bob, Bob, Bob. Okay?
Bob. Bob, I'm I'm What, George?
Break it up! A nut!
But I have some terms. Oh, sure.
Can I squeeze your nuts? Thanks. Ohh!
Closed the place down. "There's a fuckin' lion, man! A lion!"
Come on, sit down. Um, oh.
Come on! Keep it clear. Keep it clear.
Crankshaft! Who is this?
Cut to commercial. You see?
Did he hurt someone else? No, no. It's not that.
Do Latka! Yeah, Latka!
Drink of water? Aspirin? Nope.
Ed Weinberger. Take a hike! Okay, all right, huh?
Excuse me! You're never gonna work at ABC again!
F. Scott Fitzgerald's best work. A classic.
First warning! For what?
Five. Twenty.
Give me the book. What book? No, I'm not going to give you the book.
Give me the camera! What?
Go home! Volare
Gorsky? That Polish? Yeah.
Great. Andy, you're the king of negative energy.
Have you told your family? No. No.
He is a professional. It's up to you to pin me.
He is there on the land, on the sea
He's a loon! He hates you. No, no, no.
He's very creative. Yes.
He's waited for this his whole life. There'll be other shots.
Hello, Andy. Hi. Hello ?
Hello. Andy, I'm gonna put you on the speaker.
Hello. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Here comes Santa Claus Boys and girls, you're not gonna believe this!
Here I come to save the day
Here I come to save the day
Hey, Andy! Hi. Be careful, please.
Hey, George. Hey, Lorne.
Hi, Andy. Hey.
Hi, Andy. How are you?
Hi. Now you can't even tell the difference.
Hi. How are you doin' today? Fine.
His costume had the wrong shoes. Didn't even have doctor shoes.
His finest piece of work. I don't care.
Ho ho ho Green Giant What's in Memphis?
How are you? Peachy.
I am the brains behind this operation. Dream on.
I can't believe that the King is gonna go through with this.
I can't sell booze It's not about comedy. It's not about art.
I don't know if that's a neck brace or a flea collar. That's not true.
I don't know no Andy Kaufman! Okay.
I got her! Get off of her!
I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle
I hate sitcoms, George. I've never liked them. Hold on.
I I gave them The Great Gatsby. Yes.
I make more money in one day than you do... Kaufman!
I mean, the wrestling stuff is Yeah, yeah.
I might even have Santa Claus. Oh, yeah.
I really appreciate it. Don't patronize me.
I saw that. What?
I'll patch you through. I'll wait.
I'm fine. Good.
I'm gonna quit. What?
I'm here with Ed over at Taxi. Hi, Ed.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I can't hear you. Record!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Hey.
I'm trying to reach Andy up in San Francisco. Okay.
I've got to be Don't leave, Andy! Come back!
Is he joking? And now,
Is something wrong? No, everything's okay. Fine.
It is an honor, sir. Caspiar, huh?
It was so good. I have to do Taxi, though, right?
It's about booze. I can't sell booze when you're singing "Pop Goes the Weasel."
It's terrible. No.
Jai Guru Dev. Jai Guru Dev.
Just the factsy, Maxie. Hi.
Just, I think it's worn The wres
Kaufman is a lying bastard. He is a psychopath!
Kaufman! Oooh.
Kick his butt! Mr. Hollywood.
Lassie never bit you, and you know it. Case dismissed!
Latka! haven't had the advantages that you've had.'
Latka! Latka! Excuse me for one second.
Live from the Los Angeles Basin, Janice, it 's on!
Lynne, sweetheart, pay attention. You're pathetic!
Ma'am, here is your complimentary photo of Merv. Thank you.
May I borrow this for a second? Oh, no.
Mr. Kaufman? Hmm? Oh.
Must be that time of the month, huh?
No, that's, uh Shut up!
No! Do it, man!
No. Andy, it's nothing like No.
No. No to which part?
Not on the lot, sir. How 'bout a bathroom? I may have shit my pants.
Not until you take off those overalls. This is a good party.
Oh, come on! No, no. No, no.
Oh, good. It's a lie!
Oh, I don't think Okay, hit it!
Oh, my God. Let's get somethin' straight, people.
Oh, that's terrific! Yep. Mm hmm.
Oh, the cow goes Moo.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Ohh! Come on! Ohh!
Ohh! Whee ooh!
Okay Oh, no. Wait.
Okay, Andy. Ten seconds, huh? Ten seconds, okay.
Okay, here's the man. Tony Clifton. Taxi, laxy.
Okay? Okay.
Okay? Okay.
Okay. George is expecting you.
Okay. Here. Put that on your face.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Okay. I'll do it. Ah.
One, two Can you believe it?
Playing records? But it's totally original.
Right down Santa Claus lane Oh, my gosh!
Right now, roll it! No.
Santa and snow and Yeah.
See if we can eradicate the affected cells. Dr. Sullivan, line one.
Show me. Show him.
Shut up! Boo!
So did you have a nice flight? I I did.
Some fan threw something. Who did that?
Ten seconds is all I really wanted. Ten seconds is perfect.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Thanks for coming out. Oh, thank you, George.
Thanks for seeing me on such short notice. Oh, please.
That is That is in terrible taste.
That is not true! Oh, yeah, that's true. This is all a setup.
That is so moving. You're as real as anyone else on the show.
That was a great show. Yeah, good show for you. Um, George.
That'll keep you going on a hot day. Can we get to work?
That's all that matters. I'm running a business here.
That's an automatic disqualification right there. Lawler, you
That's just my name. Shut up!
That's the script I was given? Yeah.
The world is such a wonderful place
Then nothing is cool Nothing
Then nothing is cool Nothing
Then nothing is cool Nothing
There's no show for you. Wh What do you want me to do?
These guys have seen your foreign man character. Yeah?
They say he's not following the technical requirements. Technical?
They're both red. Yeah.
This Clifton called me. He did?
This is part of the show? Yes.
Those are my terms. Th This is ridiculous.
Tweet, tweet. Tweet, tweet!
Uh, no. No?
Wait, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
We're not worrying at all
Well
Well, who's gonna pay for it, Andy? Tony Clifton.
What about that poor schlub you humiliated? Hey, man, excellent show.
What are we doin', huh? Here's your script, uh, Tony.
What are you doing? I'm writing out my terms.
What do What do we do now? Now you pick.
What do they know? Absolutely nothing! And that's the beauty.
What's up, Mr. Bear? Andy?
What's your problem? To me
Whatever you want. Bonus! Thank you very much.
When it comes to cooking, cleaning, washing potatoes,
Who cares? I have the brains!
Who's Tony Clifton? He's a Vegas lounge singer.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Uh oh, Kaufman got nailed with something.
Whoo! I'll take you on, you sissy.
Why don't we So I made a few changes.
Why? He's gonna play fair? lam not concerned with him.
Would you come on? Okay.
Wow, they're Which one? Either one.
Yaken bu day Yaken bu day
Yeah Oh, ho!
Yeah, speaking. Speaking!
Yeah, well I was not satisfied.
Yeah. Huh?
Yeah. There you go.
Yeah. What's your name?
Yes, I understand. Very good. Could we please shake hands.
Yes, you did! Come on.
You can't be over and out. I'll show you over and out.
You cannot touch me! I will sue you! Hey, Kaufman!
You do? Yeah.
You gotta do Taxi. Okay.
You guys ever go to Vegas, Yeah, yeah.
You had a huge boner on national television. Oh, man!
You have to take him away from all of this. My job.
You know, you're not over and out. I am over and out.
You must have talked to someone else! I was talkin' to Andy Kaufman!
You said live? Live.
You wanna tour the clubs? No. No clubs.
You want some popcorn? Um, no, thank you.
You want to perform, you have got to have an audience. They're right there!
You'll let me win? I'll let you win. I'll let you.
...dropped to the canvas
...lare
...lare, whoa
'Cause I've always gotta be one step ahead of them.
'Cause if these negative vibes get out,
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight
'Cause we know that where there's danger he is there
'Cause...
'Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,' he told me,
"George Shapiro." Mr. Shapiro.
"His presence gave the evening it's quality of oppressiveness.
"I paid a lot of money for that TV!"
"In consequence,
"In my younger and more vulnerable years,
"Jingle, Jangle, Jingle"]
"Look, Dad, I got an 'F.'"
"March And Fanfare"] And introducing,
"Philosophically"? What's "philosophically"?
"Soap."
"Sur veev"
"The Animal Song"!
"They were the same people,
"Yes, it was funny, Andy. It was."

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