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Home > The Santa Clause 2
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The Santa Clause 2

The Santa Clause 2

The Santa Clause 2, directed by Michael Lembeck, is a heartwarming Christmas comedy film released in 2002. This delightful sequel continues the story of Scott Calvin, played by Tim Allen, who has now fully embraced his role as Santa Claus after the events of the first film.

In The Santa Clause 2, Scott faces an unexpected challenge. As he prepares for another Christmas, he discovers a clause in the Santa contract explaining that he must find a Mrs. Claus before Christmas Eve. If he fails to fulfill this requirement, he will stop being Santa Claus forever.

To address this predicament, Scott leaves the North Pole and returns to his hometown to find a suitable wife. However, things become complicated when he realizes that he only has a limited amount of time to complete this task. In the meantime, the magic of Christmas starts to fade, and the lives of everyone at the North Pole are at stake.

The film features a talented cast, including Elizabeth Mitchell as Carol Newman, a principal at Scott's son's school, who catches his attention. Mitchell delivers a charming performance as the potential love interest for Santa Claus. The cast also includes David Krumholtz reprising his role as Bernard the elf, who assists Scott in his quest to find love while keeping the North Pole running smoothly.

Backed by a delightful screenplay, The Santa Clause 2 brings plenty of humor, heartfelt moments, and a sprinkle of holiday magic. It explores themes of love, family, and the importance of keeping the spirit of Christmas alive. It reminds us of the power of belief and the joy of giving.

The film's soundtrack, composed by George S. Clinton, adds to the enchanting atmosphere. With a blend of original scores and Christmas classics, the music captures the essence of the holiday season. From joyful tunes that accompany Santa's journey to emotional melodies that accentuate heartfelt moments, the soundtrack truly enhances the viewing experience.

Fortunately, you can relive the magic of The Santa Clause 2 by playing and downloading the sounds that bring this film to life. The soundtrack is available on various music platforms, allowing you to immerse yourself in the holiday spirit whenever you desire.

So gather your loved ones, cozy up by the fireplace, and enjoy a heartwarming evening with The Santa Clause 2. Let the film take you on a magical journey filled with laughter, love, and the belief in the power of Christmas. With its talented cast, engaging story, and enchanting soundtrack, this film is a perfect addition to any holiday watchlist.

Experience The Santa Clause 2, and let it remind you of the joy and wonder that the holiday season brings. Let it ignite your imagination, warm your heart, and leave you with the belief that anything is possible when you embrace the spirit of Christmas.

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A battle of wits. It's a shame you come unarmed. Excuse me.
A battle of wits. It's a shame you come unarmed. Excuse me.
A beautiful, high quality yet low sulfur variety of coal!
A beautiful, high quality yet low sulfur variety of coal!
A better, stronger version of what you used to be,
A better, stronger version of what you used to be,
A good time for everyone
A good time for everyone
A person just wants something to believe in, you know?
A person just wants something to believe in, you know?
A reindeer in training.
A reindeer in training.
A squirrel?
A squirrel?
A swimming pool?
A swimming pool?
A top rated public school. That takes effort. And money.
A top rated public school. That takes effort. And money.
A top rated public school. That takes effort. And money.
A top rated public school. That takes effort. And money.
A toy like quality to him.
A toy like quality to him.
According to The Santa Handbook.
According to The Santa Handbook.
Actually, Christmas Eve.
Actually, Christmas Eve.
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah!
Ah!
Ah.
Ah.
Alexander, let's think.
Alexander, let's think.
All in favor of a name change for Tooth Fairy?
All in favor of a name change for Tooth Fairy?
All of ya! You little idiots! Back to work!
All of ya! You little idiots! Back to work!
All right, boys!
All right, boys!
All right? Ready? You've got to help me a little here.
All right? Ready? You've got to help me a little here.
All right.
All right.
All right. And all opposed?
All right. And all opposed?
All right. Next item on the agenda. Santa? Status report.
All right. Next item on the agenda. Santa? Status report.
All right. Well, Mrs. Claus, you might want to get some rest.
All right. Well, Mrs. Claus, you might want to get some rest.
ALL: Aw!
ALL: Aw!
ALL: Five golden rings!
ALL: Five golden rings!
ALL: It's naked!
ALL: It's naked!
Almost there, boys. Let's go!
Almost there, boys. Let's go!
Am I wrong? Am I right? Does it matter?
Am I wrong? Am I right? Does it matter?
And a movie and a long winter night.
And a movie and a long winter night.
And a paralyzing fear of intimacy get you down.
And a paralyzing fear of intimacy get you down.
And an added luster to the thickness of his hair.
And an added luster to the thickness of his hair.
And being Santa has made you an even better man.
And being Santa has made you an even better man.
And carrots for the reindeer.
And carrots for the reindeer.
And children everywhere will stop believing,
And children everywhere will stop believing,
And Christmas will be gone.
And Christmas will be gone.
And forget about Santa. I'm done.
And forget about Santa. I'm done.
And he might go all the
And he might go all the
And I don't want those naughty kids to suffer! (LAUGHS)
And I don't want those naughty kids to suffer! (LAUGHS)
And I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
And I promise, it won't hurt a bit.
And I promise, it won't hurt a bit.
And I think I might have forgot we're gonna go see Charlie.
And I think I might have forgot we're gonna go see Charlie.
And I will be, as long as you continue to believe in me.
And I will be, as long as you continue to believe in me.
And I would caution you all not to point or stare
And I would caution you all not to point or stare
And I'm there whenever you need me.
And I'm there whenever you need me.
And if anybody cares, I'm exhausted.
And if anybody cares, I'm exhausted.
And it was Santa's idea to call you the Molarnator.
And it was Santa's idea to call you the Molarnator.
And just to make sure that that happens...
And just to make sure that that happens...
And keep the mittens where I can see them.
And keep the mittens where I can see them.
And look at that face. There you go.
And look at that face. There you go.
And love and wonder.
And love and wonder.
And Mrs. Claus.
And Mrs. Claus.
And now you're going out with Principal Newman!
And now you're going out with Principal Newman!
And now you're going out with Principal Newman!
And now you're going out with Principal Newman!
And now you're making a joke out of it and it's not funny. It hurts.
And now you're making a joke out of it and it's not funny. It hurts.
And occasionally a thin crust pizza
And occasionally a thin crust pizza
And one day, I came home with a bloody nose.
And one day, I came home with a bloody nose.
And one, two! Try to keep up! Let's go. Move it on!
And one, two! Try to keep up! Let's go. Move it on!
And pretty much the last that I have.
And pretty much the last that I have.
And say the word that we've all been longing to hear.
And say the word that we've all been longing to hear.
And sc**** off graffiti at 8:00 a.m.
And sc**** off graffiti at 8:00 a.m.
And see who's still single out there and not too bitter.
And see who's still single out there and not too bitter.
And she has a beautiful smile.
And she has a beautiful smile.
And so it begins.
And so it begins.
And the cot would be mussed and the carrots gnawed.
And the cot would be mussed and the carrots gnawed.
And the last year was...
And the last year was...
And the next year was a little red wagon,
And the next year was a little red wagon,
And the rest would be history, right?
And the rest would be history, right?
And the thought is important to them, too.
And the thought is important to them, too.
And then clean off every mark off every locker in this hallway.
And then clean off every mark off every locker in this hallway.
And there would be incredible presents under the tree.
And there would be incredible presents under the tree.
And why do I have to be the one to tell him?
And why do I have to be the one to tell him?
And you can't be mad at him forever, Charlie.
And you can't be mad at him forever, Charlie.
And you don't even tell me about it.
And you don't even tell me about it.
And you only have 27 days to find a wife or you're out?
And you only have 27 days to find a wife or you're out?
And you still believed in Christmas.
And you still believed in Christmas.
And you will spend your life stabbing trash.
And you will spend your life stabbing trash.
And you're not gonna do it again. Promise me.
And you're not gonna do it again. Promise me.
And, Charlie, we'll talk about the suspension.
And, Charlie, we'll talk about the suspension.
Apparently, it's called the Mrs. Clause.
Apparently, it's called the Mrs. Clause.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Are you telling me that clause says if I don't get married,
Are you telling me that clause says if I don't get married,
Aren't you forgetting something?
Aren't you forgetting something?
Aren't you supposed to get back to work?
Aren't you supposed to get back to work?
As if by magic.
As if by magic.
As promising as this sounds, I don't need help with this area.
As promising as this sounds, I don't need help with this area.
Attention you hooligans behind that snowbank!
Attention you hooligans behind that snowbank!
Back for more action, eh, Scooter?
Back for more action, eh, Scooter?
Back! Back!
Back! Back!
Because I'm the head elf. I don't give bad news.
Because I'm the head elf. I don't give bad news.
Because it is the key to being Santa.
Because it is the key to being Santa.
Before you go, I want you to know that nobody,
Before you go, I want you to know that nobody,
Before you go, take a look at your watch.
Before you go, take a look at your watch.
Before you got up the courage to propose.
Before you got up the courage to propose.
Believe it or not, you have a great capacity for love.
Believe it or not, you have a great capacity for love.
BERNARD: Santa, look forward and put on a smiley face.
BERNARD: Santa, look forward and put on a smiley face.
Bernard?
Bernard?
Besides, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems.
Besides, creating a copy of Santa won't solve our problems.
Besides, Prancer had too many apples. We know what that means.
Besides, Prancer had too many apples. We know what that means.
Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets.
Besides, reindeer are too stupid to make good pets.
Better and fresher somehow than he has in years.
Better and fresher somehow than he has in years.
BOTH: Get on with it!
BOTH: Get on with it!
BOTH: Huh?
BOTH: Huh?
Boy, I'll tell ya, women are hard to figure out.
Boy, I'll tell ya, women are hard to figure out.
Boys, we've got some toys to deliver!
Boys, we've got some toys to deliver!
Boys! One, two, three!
Boys! One, two, three!
Break!
Break!
Brush between meals and don't forget the floss.
Brush between meals and don't forget the floss.
But according to The Santa Handbook,
But according to The Santa Handbook,
But being good just ain't my bag...
But being good just ain't my bag...
But do we still get toys?
But do we still get toys?
But I can guarantee you that this is worth it.
But I can guarantee you that this is worth it.
But I don't want to keep you from your date, so...
But I don't want to keep you from your date, so...
But I get to believe in him forever.
But I get to believe in him forever.
But I have homework, tests to study for.
But I have homework, tests to study for.
But I never told anybody.
But I never told anybody.
But if the only reason for not being with him is
But if the only reason for not being with him is
But if you use up any magic for any reason, the level drops.
But if you use up any magic for any reason, the level drops.
But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook,
But it seems our number two elf, the keeper of the handbook,
But it's a two way street.
But it's a two way street.
But on Christmas, they tried to make the holiday special.
But on Christmas, they tried to make the holiday special.
But otherwise, you're gold.
But otherwise, you're gold.
But there's something about you that I like.
But there's something about you that I like.
But they're just kids! Everybody misbehaves some time.
But they're just kids! Everybody misbehaves some time.
But what am I gonna do?
But what am I gonna do?
But you understand rules, don't you? You're highly decorated.
But you understand rules, don't you? You're highly decorated.
But you've known me your whole life.
But you've known me your whole life.
By cuspids!
By cuspids!
By the powers vested in me by me,
By the powers vested in me by me,
Can he talk?
Can he talk?
Can I have your attention?
Can I have your attention?
Can I help you?
Can I help you?
Can I just... One minute. Take a cocoa break.
Can I just... One minute. Take a cocoa break.
Can we just do what we came here to do?
Can we just do what we came here to do?
Can you turn the light off, please?
Can you turn the light off, please?
Careful with the sweets. He tends to overeat.
Careful with the sweets. He tends to overeat.
Carol,
Carol,
Carol, don't make me leave.
Carol, don't make me leave.
Carol, happy, happy Christmas!
Carol, happy, happy Christmas!
Carol, I...
Carol, I...
CAROL: Are Laura and Neil on their way?
CAROL: Are Laura and Neil on their way?
CAROL: Did you call the office? SCOTT: No.
CAROL: Did you call the office? SCOTT: No.
CAROL: Mind if I ask you something personal?
CAROL: Mind if I ask you something personal?
Charlie, is Uncle Scott Santa Claus?
Charlie, is Uncle Scott Santa Claus?
Charlie, this is really dangerous.
Charlie, this is really dangerous.
Charlie, you promised you weren't gonna do this again.
Charlie, you promised you weren't gonna do this again.
CHARLIE: How could you pick her? SCOTT: I didn't.
CHARLIE: How could you pick her? SCOTT: I didn't.
CHARLIE: You don't care anymore.
CHARLIE: You don't care anymore.
Charlie!
Charlie!
Chet, Chet!
Chet, Chet!
CHET: Oh, Chet...
CHET: Oh, Chet...
Chet! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chet, Chet.
Chet! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chet, Chet.
Christmas Day
Christmas Day
Christmas is getting very complicated.
Christmas is getting very complicated.
Cocoa. You have thought of everything.
Cocoa. You have thought of everything.
Cocoa's superior refreshment! (LAUGHS)
Cocoa's superior refreshment! (LAUGHS)
Come downstairs. I want you to see something.
Come downstairs. I want you to see something.
Come here, big guy.
Come here, big guy.
Come here, you! Come on. (YELLS)
Come here, you! Come on. (YELLS)
Come here! Stop! Slow down when I'm talking to you!
Come here! Stop! Slow down when I'm talking to you!
Come on up and get the rest of your presents.
Come on up and get the rest of your presents.
Come on, open it. Rip it open.
Come on, open it. Rip it open.
Come on, pork chop. Bring it on.
Come on, pork chop. Bring it on.
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Come on! I don't think there's a woman out there
Come on! I don't think there's a woman out there
Come on! It's not like we're pullin' the sleigh. Right?
Come on! It's not like we're pullin' the sleigh. Right?
Come on! We got to get them before they get out the hole.
Come on! We got to get them before they get out the hole.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. We're not gonna save the paper.
Come on. We're not gonna save the paper.
Comet, because I don't want to take Prancer.
Comet, because I don't want to take Prancer.
Comet, please just chill out a little bit, okay?
Comet, please just chill out a little bit, okay?
Comet?
Comet?
Comet.
Comet.
Community service?
Community service?
Consider the amount of gifts he would have to deliver.
Consider the amount of gifts he would have to deliver.
Could I have your attention? Your attention, please!
Could I have your attention? Your attention, please!
Could you possibly fly a little higher? Ow!
Could you possibly fly a little higher? Ow!
Couldn't have been the three gallons of cocoa I had!
Couldn't have been the three gallons of cocoa I had!
Curtis, a friend from Buffalo.
Curtis, a friend from Buffalo.
Curtis, get the door. It's a Tooth Fairy ambush.
Curtis, get the door. It's a Tooth Fairy ambush.
Curtis, in case you haven't noticed, this time of year,
Curtis, in case you haven't noticed, this time of year,
Curtis, what do you say we get you headphones this Christmas?
Curtis, what do you say we get you headphones this Christmas?
Curtis, what is he doing in the naughty and nice center?
Curtis, what is he doing in the naughty and nice center?
Curtis, when are you gonna tell him?
Curtis, when are you gonna tell him?
Curtis, you need to tell him right now!
Curtis, you need to tell him right now!
Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up!
Curtis, you're 900 years old. Grow up!
Cut the chitchat, Chet!
Cut the chitchat, Chet!
Dance like this. All of us!
Dance like this. All of us!
Denver just started a new peewee hockey league.
Denver just started a new peewee hockey league.
Did you send someone to...
Did you send someone to...
Did you... I told you about Baby Doll an hour ago and...
Did you... I told you about Baby Doll an hour ago and...
Didn't like driving 'em in the rain.
Didn't like driving 'em in the rain.
Do it. Now.
Do it. Now.
Do you eat your green vegetables?
Do you eat your green vegetables?
Do you want to go get some noodles?
Do you want to go get some noodles?
Doesn't he look hot, Laura?
Doesn't he look hot, Laura?
Doesn't your mom call you JJ?
Doesn't your mom call you JJ?
Don't be embarrassed. My parents are divorced.
Don't be embarrassed. My parents are divorced.
Don't be home too late.
Don't be home too late.
Don't do that to yourself. You have been a great dad.
Don't do that to yourself. You have been a great dad.
Don't let the facts that you have no time, no prospects
Don't let the facts that you have no time, no prospects
Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa!
Don't listen to him! This guy's not Santa!
Don't mess with me, Santa. I'm pre El Niño.
Don't mess with me, Santa. I'm pre El Niño.
Don't say "hence" anymore, Dad. It's really annoying.
Don't say "hence" anymore, Dad. It's really annoying.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Don't shoot the messenger.
Don't try to make me cry.
Don't try to make me cry.
Drop the snowballs, kick them away from the snowsuits
Drop the snowballs, kick them away from the snowsuits
Easter Bunny?
Easter Bunny?
Eat some roughage, will you?
Eat some roughage, will you?
Eating sugar is bad for you.
Eating sugar is bad for you.
ELF OVER TANNOY: We're at Elfcon 4. All clear.
ELF OVER TANNOY: We're at Elfcon 4. All clear.
ELVES: Whoa! Whoa!
ELVES: Whoa! Whoa!
Even the principal needs a Christmas gift.
Even the principal needs a Christmas gift.
Ever seen a toy do this?
Ever seen a toy do this?
Everybody has fun
Everybody has fun
Everybody loves Christmas
Everybody loves Christmas
Everybody loves Christmas
Everybody loves Christmas
Everybody, you idiots!
Everybody, you idiots!
Everything's going to be fine.
Everything's going to be fine.
Exactly what they deserve.
Exactly what they deserve.
Except for, eventually, I'm going to have to get home.
Except for, eventually, I'm going to have to get home.
Excuse me?
Excuse me?
Excuse me. Is there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture?
Excuse me. Is there a rest stop between here and the end of the lecture?
Faster!
Faster!
Fellow council members,
Fellow council members,
Fill up a stocking
Fill up a stocking
Find out where that music's coming from.
Find out where that music's coming from.
Fire in the hole! Get away!
Fire in the hole! Get away!
Fire!
Fire!
Flatten the hills we go
Flatten the hills we go
Fly back with me to the North Pole to save Christmas!
Fly back with me to the North Pole to save Christmas!
For you not to touch Santa?
For you not to touch Santa?
For you to come back! (LAUGHING)
For you to come back! (LAUGHING)
Forget about Principal Newman, all right?
Forget about Principal Newman, all right?
Forgive me, but I think holiday cheer really matters.
Forgive me, but I think holiday cheer really matters.
From this moment forward, we're not gonna make any more toys.
From this moment forward, we're not gonna make any more toys.
Get me everything.
Get me everything.
Get me some more cocoa! Whoo!
Get me some more cocoa! Whoo!
Get me the naughty nice list. Get me every list!
Get me the naughty nice list. Get me every list!
Get off of me! Now remember, rules are very, very important!
Get off of me! Now remember, rules are very, very important!
Get one more bolt on that flange, and it's ready for Christmas.
Get one more bolt on that flange, and it's ready for Christmas.
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
Get this. You gotta fly both of us back to the North Pole.
Get this. You gotta fly both of us back to the North Pole.
Go ahead. Go play some tinsel football.
Go ahead. Go play some tinsel football.
Go fish.
Go fish.
Go to your homes. Pelt the ones you love.
Go to your homes. Pelt the ones you love.
Go totally yuletide
Go totally yuletide
Good job, Curtis.
Good job, Curtis.
Good morning, Principal Newman.
Good morning, Principal Newman.
Good night, Lucy.
Good night, Lucy.
Good work, guys. Whew!
Good work, guys. Whew!
Good, Carol! This is great sleigh riding conversation!
Good, Carol! This is great sleigh riding conversation!
Good! Movie?
Good! Movie?
Good.
Good.
Good. Okay, we almost got it.
Good. Okay, we almost got it.
Got any twos?
Got any twos?
Got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Grace Kim.
Grace Kim.
Great! You told him! Let's get you dressed for that meeting.
Great! You told him! Let's get you dressed for that meeting.
Grow up.
Grow up.
Guess what?
Guess what?
Guessing is gone. It was wrong what you did.
Guessing is gone. It was wrong what you did.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Hah.
Hah.
Hah.
Hah.
Have a joyous and merry Christmas!
Have a joyous and merry Christmas!
Have a nice long break. Relax, everyone.
Have a nice long break. Relax, everyone.
Have a nice trip.
Have a nice trip.
Have you ever helped anyone? Ever?
Have you ever helped anyone? Ever?
Have you noticed the hallways? Not a decoration, not a twinkle light,
Have you noticed the hallways? Not a decoration, not a twinkle light,
Haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble.
Haven't seen you since the last time Charlie was in trouble.
He has a rubber face and a plastic tushy!
He has a rubber face and a plastic tushy!
He has most of Santa's memories.
He has most of Santa's memories.
He keeps upping the ante. This time he defaced school property.
He keeps upping the ante. This time he defaced school property.
He knows if you've been bad or good
He knows if you've been bad or good
He knows that I've been bad
He knows that I've been bad
He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows when you're awake
He put a cot by the fireplace so Santa could take a nap...
He put a cot by the fireplace so Santa could take a nap...
He said all I have to do to see you is shake it.
He said all I have to do to see you is shake it.
He thinks everybody's naughty and he's gonna give everyone coal!
He thinks everybody's naughty and he's gonna give everyone coal!
He won't do it again. Meeting is adjourned.
He won't do it again. Meeting is adjourned.
He works with toys and these
He works with toys and these
He's a Dane. He was wiping his nose on his sister's shirt.
He's a Dane. He was wiping his nose on his sister's shirt.
He's coming right back.
He's coming right back.
He's headed east toward the main entrance!
He's headed east toward the main entrance!
He's locked up the elves, shut down the workshop,
He's locked up the elves, shut down the workshop,
He's too quick! He spins! He moves! He's on the way!
He's too quick! He spins! He moves! He's on the way!
He's waiting for us in Principal Newman's office.
He's waiting for us in Principal Newman's office.
He's your daddy and you love him.
He's your daddy and you love him.
Hello, Charlie.
Hello, Charlie.
Hello, Charlie.
Hello, Charlie.
Hello, Mr. Calvin. Laura, Neil.
Hello, Mr. Calvin. Laura, Neil.
Hello, Principal Newman.
Hello, Principal Newman.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hence, tagging is serious. Hence, your presence here.
Hence, tagging is serious. Hence, your presence here.
Hence, you've got to be careful where you put it.
Hence, you've got to be careful where you put it.
Here she comes. Duck down!
Here she comes. Duck down!
Here we go. Let's just order a pizza.
Here we go. Let's just order a pizza.
Here!
Here!
Here.
Here.
Hey, Comet. We just...
Hey, Comet. We just...
Hey, guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel.
Hey, guys, Santa wants to see the new tinsel.
Hey, I'm supposed to wear this coat! How about a little elbow?
Hey, I'm supposed to wear this coat! How about a little elbow?
Hey, Joey! How's that static free tinsel coming?
Hey, Joey! How's that static free tinsel coming?
Hey, lady!
Hey, lady!
Hey, Lucy, what have you got there?
Hey, Lucy, what have you got there?
Hey, party animal, you want to play?
Hey, party animal, you want to play?
Hey, who's got the ball? I can see it. Let go of me.
Hey, who's got the ball? I can see it. Let go of me.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! Can't go anywhere without that.
Hey! Can't go anywhere without that.
Hey! Hey! Hey! You! You! Shoo!
Hey! Hey! Hey! You! You! Shoo!
Hi, Santa.
Hi, Santa.
Hi! Merry Christmas!
Hi! Merry Christmas!
Hike!
Hike!
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job!
Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job!
Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job!
Ho, ho, ho! You're doing a wonderful job!
Ho, ho, ho.
Ho, ho, ho.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holiday
Holy Hannah, he's an action hero!
Holy Hannah, he's an action hero!
Honey, I'm home!
Honey, I'm home!
How about a nice chocolatey cocoa?
How about a nice chocolatey cocoa?
How come you have pointy ears?
How come you have pointy ears?
How could this happen? Is this what you were trying to tell me?
How could this happen? Is this what you were trying to tell me?
How did I know I could capture you by holdin' on to a wing?
How did I know I could capture you by holdin' on to a wing?
How did she do that?
How did she do that?
How did you know her name?
How did you know her name?
How do you always know when there's a problem?
How do you always know when there's a problem?
How do you do it? I have trouble with one. You have hundreds.
How do you do it? I have trouble with one. You have hundreds.
How do you do it? I have trouble with one. You have hundreds.
How do you do it? I have trouble with one. You have hundreds.
How to balance work and children.
How to balance work and children.
How'd it go?
How'd it go?
How'd you get up here?
How'd you get up here?
Huh?
Huh?
Hurry, hurry home
Hurry, hurry home
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah!
Hyah! Ho, ho, ho!
Hyah! Ho, ho, ho!
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah!
I also have my Christmas charm bracelet.
I also have my Christmas charm bracelet.
I am Santa Claus. Boo! (LAUGHS)
I am Santa Claus. Boo! (LAUGHS)
I am too.
I am too.
I am... (LAUGHS) The Molarnator!
I am... (LAUGHS) The Molarnator!
I appreciate that.
I appreciate that.
I asked him to stick a straw in his nose and blow bubbles in his milk.
I asked him to stick a straw in his nose and blow bubbles in his milk.
I believed in Santa so much I'd get in fights at school
I believed in Santa so much I'd get in fights at school
I can deal with business up here.
I can deal with business up here.
I can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.
I can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.
I can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.
I can guarantee you'll have a great Christmas.
I can't have the meeting here. I'm gonna have to see Charlie.
I can't have the meeting here. I'm gonna have to see Charlie.
I can't put my finger on it,
I can't put my finger on it,
I can't. I have no magic left. I'm out of magic. Look.
I can't. I have no magic left. I'm out of magic. Look.
I cannot continue being Santa unless I find a Mrs. Claus.
I cannot continue being Santa unless I find a Mrs. Claus.
I care more about you than anybody.
I care more about you than anybody.
I could come up there and take care of this the ugly way.
I could come up there and take care of this the ugly way.
I couldn't talk about it before, but...
I couldn't talk about it before, but...
I didn't check the list twice.
I didn't check the list twice.
I didn't get a toy
I didn't get a toy
I do worry. There's a lot of mistakes. I'll give you a big fat for instance!
I do worry. There's a lot of mistakes. I'll give you a big fat for instance!
I don't get to be Santa anymore?
I don't get to be Santa anymore?
I don't have a mom, so I wouldn't know about that.
I don't have a mom, so I wouldn't know about that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. But Charlie has something he wants to tell you.
I don't know. But Charlie has something he wants to tell you.
I don't know. But they all can do that.
I don't know. But they all can do that.
I don't know. He's so happy right now.
I don't know. He's so happy right now.
I don't need some delinquent kids scratchin' it up.
I don't need some delinquent kids scratchin' it up.
I don't understand that! Kids are misbehaving everywhere.
I don't understand that! Kids are misbehaving everywhere.
I don't want to know.
I don't want to know.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
I feel like some Christmas
I feel like some Christmas
I go down chimneys with burning logs and I still deliver gifts.
I go down chimneys with burning logs and I still deliver gifts.
I got a needlepoint sweater and a minivan.
I got a needlepoint sweater and a minivan.
I got to fly in with the Tooth Fairy.
I got to fly in with the Tooth Fairy.
I gotta be up here and I've also got to take care of Charlie...
I gotta be up here and I've also got to take care of Charlie...
I had a Mustang.
I had a Mustang.
I hate to blow my own horn.
I hate to blow my own horn.
I have a big white beard that's beautiful.
I have a big white beard that's beautiful.
I have to find a wife in...
I have to find a wife in...
I have to get married by Christmas Eve.
I have to get married by Christmas Eve.
I hear that you love this time of year also?
I hear that you love this time of year also?
I hope he doesn't have too many stops to make tonight.
I hope he doesn't have too many stops to make tonight.
I hurt the woman I love.
I hurt the woman I love.
I just can't figure out... How did you do it?
I just can't figure out... How did you do it?
I just couldn't sleep thinking about all those rules.
I just couldn't sleep thinking about all those rules.
I just... I wasn't prepared for a performance, so if I...
I just... I wasn't prepared for a performance, so if I...
I know how hard this is to believe, but connect the dots.
I know how hard this is to believe, but connect the dots.
I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home,
I know I'm asking you to leave everything at home,
I know Santa. Santa is a friend. And you, sir, are no Santa.
I know Santa. Santa is a friend. And you, sir, are no Santa.
I know you can find someone wonderful to spend the rest of your life with.
I know you can find someone wonderful to spend the rest of your life with.
I love you, Charlie. Thank you.
I love you, Charlie. Thank you.
I mean, if I don't get married, I just won't deliver the gifts,
I mean, if I don't get married, I just won't deliver the gifts,
I mean, the idea tonight is to attract a woman.
I mean, the idea tonight is to attract a woman.
I might have to make some changes here.
I might have to make some changes here.
I myself think he looks absolutely terrific!
I myself think he looks absolutely terrific!
I need a little muscle. I need a little nudge.
I need a little muscle. I need a little nudge.
I need the naughty and nice list.
I need the naughty and nice list.
I now pronounce you Santa
I now pronounce you Santa
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
I put myself out and that was not an easy thing to do.
I put myself out and that was not an easy thing to do.
I ruined Christmas.
I ruined Christmas.
I see where this is going. I am not getting in that machine.
I see where this is going. I am not getting in that machine.
I see you when you're sleepin'. I know when you're awake.
I see you when you're sleepin'. I know when you're awake.
I see you've externalized the power source
I see you've externalized the power source
I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay.
I see. Good, good, good. I see it. Okay.
I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans.
I shouldn't have done that.
I shouldn't have done that.
I started worrying about what to wear and what my hair looked like.
I started worrying about what to wear and what my hair looked like.
I think Carol is right about the caroling!
I think Carol is right about the caroling!
I think if anybody can stir up the old mojo, it would be moi.
I think if anybody can stir up the old mojo, it would be moi.
I think it makes you look hot.
I think it makes you look hot.
I think it's what's inside that really counts.
I think it's what's inside that really counts.
I think Santa feels a little buzz!
I think Santa feels a little buzz!
I think they're just decorations for the carolers.
I think they're just decorations for the carolers.
I think you need to know these things.
I think you need to know these things.
I thought I could create another Santa.
I thought I could create another Santa.
I thought only swimmers shaved their legs!
I thought only swimmers shaved their legs!
I told you something personal from my childhood
I told you something personal from my childhood
I used to love Christmas, too.
I used to love Christmas, too.
I used to love this when I was a kid!
I used to love this when I was a kid!
I want a doll house and a swimming pool.
I want a doll house and a swimming pool.
I want everything off of there by tonight.
I want everything off of there by tonight.
I want hot chocolate.
I want hot chocolate.
I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel
I want to be free yeah, to feel the way I feel
I want to show Santa some improvements on the pantograph.
I want to show Santa some improvements on the pantograph.
I want to take a trip with you. When's the last time we had a cruise?
I want to take a trip with you. When's the last time we had a cruise?
I want to talk about it now.
I want to talk about it now.
I want you to take this. Look into this and
I want you to take this. Look into this and
I was devastated.
I was devastated.
I was listening to a tape series on child development last night.
I was listening to a tape series on child development last night.
I was until I got this phone call.
I was until I got this phone call.
I was up late, couldn't sleep.
I was up late, couldn't sleep.
I wear it all year long just to keep the spirit alive.
I wear it all year long just to keep the spirit alive.
I will.
I will.
I wish I could do more, but I gotta go.
I wish I could do more, but I gotta go.
I wondered if...
I wondered if...
I would do what they ask you. Which is what I'm going to tell you!
I would do what they ask you. Which is what I'm going to tell you!
I'd like to again propose a new name for myself.
I'd like to again propose a new name for myself.
I'd like to thank you for being such a gracious host.
I'd like to thank you for being such a gracious host.
I'd worry about your legs in those shorts.
I'd worry about your legs in those shorts.
I'll follow all the rules.
I'll follow all the rules.
I'll ground him for two months.
I'll ground him for two months.
I'll take a look at it over at my desk.
I'll take a look at it over at my desk.
I'll tell you what. If you can promise me you'll be good,
I'll tell you what. If you can promise me you'll be good,
I'm a little tired, Dad. I'll see you in the morning.
I'm a little tired, Dad. I'll see you in the morning.
I'm a puzzle. I'm a Rubik's Cube with pants.
I'm a puzzle. I'm a Rubik's Cube with pants.
I'm as upset about this as you, but isn't there a punishment
I'm as upset about this as you, but isn't there a punishment
I'm feeling much, much better.
I'm feeling much, much better.
I'm gonna go out on an emotional limb.
I'm gonna go out on an emotional limb.
I'm hoping someday to break into the music business.
I'm hoping someday to break into the music business.
I'm impressed. That is a great car. My favorite car.
I'm impressed. That is a great car. My favorite car.
I'm more interested in why this happened in the first place.
I'm more interested in why this happened in the first place.
I'm not gonna lie to all the elves.
I'm not gonna lie to all the elves.
I'm not real good at this.
I'm not real good at this.
I'm not scared. That's not what this is.
I'm not scared. That's not what this is.
I'm not this size much. I'm usually much bigger than this.
I'm not this size much. I'm usually much bigger than this.
I'm not this size much. I'm usually much bigger than this.
I'm not this size much. I'm usually much bigger than this.
I'm off. I may need to borrow a car.
I'm off. I may need to borrow a car.
I'm parked behind Neil. The minivan, I just had it washed.
I'm parked behind Neil. The minivan, I just had it washed.
I'm Santa Claus.
I'm Santa Claus.
I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
I'm sorry, Santa. Please excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. She insisted on talking to you.
I'm sorry. She insisted on talking to you.
I'm struggling with the timing, 'cause it's...
I'm struggling with the timing, 'cause it's...
I'm talking about the packages that (WHISPERS) are backstage.
I'm talking about the packages that (WHISPERS) are backstage.
I'm telling the truth.
I'm telling the truth.
I'm...
I'm...
I've been a naughty boy
I've been a naughty boy
I've been traveling for work.
I've been traveling for work.
I've got a good idea. How about we have some fun?
I've got a good idea. How about we have some fun?
I've got something for you.
I've got something for you.
I've got the ball. What are you gonna do? Who's gonna stop me?
I've got the ball. What are you gonna do? Who's gonna stop me?
I've lost the weight and the beard, but it's me.
I've lost the weight and the beard, but it's me.
I've tripled the RAM and reconfigured the circuitry.
I've tripled the RAM and reconfigured the circuitry.
If anybody can do this, it's you, number one.
If anybody can do this, it's you, number one.
If they did, I would have shot myself, met a nice girl,
If they did, I would have shot myself, met a nice girl,
If this continues, I'll have no other recourse than to suspend...
If this continues, I'll have no other recourse than to suspend...
If you can't support a woman's ambition,
If you can't support a woman's ambition,
If you don't have the ball, get it.
If you don't have the ball, get it.
If you ever get to bed and go to sleep like the other kids.
If you ever get to bed and go to sleep like the other kids.
If you have no feelings for my dad, then fine.
If you have no feelings for my dad, then fine.
If you have the ball, run to the end zone.
If you have the ball, run to the end zone.
If you would... (STAMMERS)
If you would... (STAMMERS)
If you're not willing to dance or laugh or flirt
If you're not willing to dance or laugh or flirt
If you're trying to push me away, it's working.
If you're trying to push me away, it's working.
In a strip mining machine
In a strip mining machine
In Denmark, there's a guy named Sven Halstrom right here.
In Denmark, there's a guy named Sven Halstrom right here.
In my opinion, they should all get coal in their stockings.
In my opinion, they should all get coal in their stockings.
In the history of Christmas!
In the history of Christmas!
In the middle of the chorus!
In the middle of the chorus!
In the past, you have rejected Tooth Man, Tooth Guy and Tooth.
In the past, you have rejected Tooth Man, Tooth Guy and Tooth.
Is Scott here?
Is Scott here?
Is that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer.
Is that Blitzen? Looks like Prancer.
Is that so? Are you absolutely sure about that, Pamela?
Is that so? Are you absolutely sure about that, Pamela?
Is that your idea of a night on the town?
Is that your idea of a night on the town?
Is the cocoa, caroling and fun
Is the cocoa, caroling and fun
Is there a school here?
Is there a school here?
Is there anything else I should know about?
Is there anything else I should know about?
Is there supposed to be a shock?
Is there supposed to be a shock?
It feels like you're trying to get someone's attention.
It feels like you're trying to get someone's attention.
It goes on and on.
It goes on and on.
It has a power reserve that measures how much magic you have left.
It has a power reserve that measures how much magic you have left.
It kind of scared me a little bit.
It kind of scared me a little bit.
It looks like you're going out. Sorry. I should have called.
It looks like you're going out. Sorry. I should have called.
It makes them more creative, more productive and more alert.
It makes them more creative, more productive and more alert.
It most certainly is not! Charlie...
It most certainly is not! Charlie...
It says elves are encouraged to listen to music.
It says elves are encouraged to listen to music.
It says I'm supposed to check it twice.
It says I'm supposed to check it twice.
It was just a Baby Doll. She was pink and soft and beautiful.
It was just a Baby Doll. She was pink and soft and beautiful.
It was the only day that my parents didn't fight.
It was the only day that my parents didn't fight.
It was you. I know it was you.
It was you. I know it was you.
It's a gift.
It's a gift.
It's a gift.
It's a gift.
It's a great party.
It's a great party.
It's all right, everybody. Let's get back to work.
It's all right, everybody. Let's get back to work.
It's an affront to authority and blatant disrespect for property.
It's an affront to authority and blatant disrespect for property.
It's Baby Doll.
It's Baby Doll.
It's because I never ate my green vegetables.
It's because I never ate my green vegetables.
It's been a blue
It's been a blue
It's been a blue
It's been a blue
It's been a blue
It's been a blue
It's been checked. Don't worry.
It's been checked. Don't worry.
It's dark. And it's cold.
It's dark. And it's cold.
It's for the best. If I had spent more time with you,
It's for the best. If I had spent more time with you,
It's four weeks until Christmas.
It's four weeks until Christmas.
It's four weeks until Christmas.
It's four weeks until Christmas.
It's good strategy.
It's good strategy.
It's Indian teas and it's a lot of salves and stuff. It's...
It's Indian teas and it's a lot of salves and stuff. It's...
It's like some kind of magic.
It's like some kind of magic.
It's my favorite time of year and my busiest time of year.
It's my favorite time of year and my busiest time of year.
It's okay. Curtis is a very old friend.
It's okay. Curtis is a very old friend.
It's one of the perks of my seniority.
It's one of the perks of my seniority.
It's perfect, though.
It's perfect, though.
It's perfect!
It's perfect!
It's Scott, isn't it?
It's Scott, isn't it?
It's so cold up here. How can you not be freezing?
It's so cold up here. How can you not be freezing?
It's the Mrs. Clause.
It's the Mrs. Clause.
It's very heavy, very heavy.
It's very heavy, very heavy.
It's what I do.
It's what I do.
It's your big chance. I need a little help.
It's your big chance. I need a little help.
It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up
It's your future, Mr. Picardo. Keep this up
It's...
It's...
John Pierce.
John Pierce.
Keep 'em away from the car. It's new.
Keep 'em away from the car. It's new.
Keep the elves at a distance and say
Keep the elves at a distance and say
Kids are 86% happier since you've taken the job.
Kids are 86% happier since you've taken the job.
Kids get so nutty this time of year.
Kids get so nutty this time of year.
Kinda exciting.
Kinda exciting.
Laura says we have a lot in common.
Laura says we have a lot in common.
Leave my reindeer alone!
Leave my reindeer alone!
Left the business years ago.
Left the business years ago.
Let me get this straight. You were de Santified?
Let me get this straight. You were de Santified?
Let me handle this. You know what you did is wrong. Right?
Let me handle this. You know what you did is wrong. Right?
Let's call yourself the little nudge!
Let's call yourself the little nudge!
Let's get 'em!
Let's get 'em!
Let's go skating!
Let's go skating!
Let's just say I'm not bookin' a church yet.
Let's just say I'm not bookin' a church yet.
Let's see what this baby can do.
Let's see what this baby can do.
Like he got a good night's sleep.
Like he got a good night's sleep.
Like he has time to take a nap!
Like he has time to take a nap!
Like you got a very good night's sleep.
Like you got a very good night's sleep.
Little people. Kids.
Little people. Kids.
Little people. Kids.
Little people. Kids.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Look at that. The snow globe!
Look at that. The snow globe!
Look at this! What's in here?
Look at this! What's in here?
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out!
Look out! You're scaring me!
Look out! You're scaring me!
Look, Charlie!
Look, Charlie!
Look, if we're gonna dance,
Look, if we're gonna dance,
Look, you can't get much better than that.
Look, you can't get much better than that.
Look.
Look.
Look. That guy moved.
Look. That guy moved.
Loser!
Loser!
MAN 1: Nobody needs to know about this.
MAN 1: Nobody needs to know about this.
MAN 2: Maybe we should mention the Smokey Robinson thing, sir.
MAN 2: Maybe we should mention the Smokey Robinson thing, sir.
Man!
Man!
Maybe I'm wrong, but it sure looks like a bag of gifts.
Maybe I'm wrong, but it sure looks like a bag of gifts.
Maybe we'll have to go to the mall and get some ice cream.
Maybe we'll have to go to the mall and get some ice cream.
Maybe you can be.
Maybe you can be.
Maybe your head's crooked.
Maybe your head's crooked.
Meatloaf?
Meatloaf?
Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
Merry Christmas to all! And to all a good night!
Merry Christmas, Comet!
Merry Christmas, Comet!
Merry Christmas, JJ.
Merry Christmas, JJ.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Milk wouldn't do it, cocoa is a little sweet,
Milk wouldn't do it, cocoa is a little sweet,
Mint condition! This is incredible!
Mint condition! This is incredible!
Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look,
Most importantly, he's very happy with his new look,
Most kids stop believing in Santa when they grow up.
Most kids stop believing in Santa when they grow up.
Most people lose sleep over that.
Most people lose sleep over that.
MOTHER NATURE: (FAINTLY) Santa?
MOTHER NATURE: (FAINTLY) Santa?
Movie's okay, but the car was the star. '53 MG TD.
Movie's okay, but the car was the star. '53 MG TD.
Mr. O'Reilly, Mr. Leary.
Mr. O'Reilly, Mr. Leary.
Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
Mr. Picardo, I want you to look into my eyes. What do you see?
My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
My Charlie. My son Charlie? He's on the naughty list?
My dad is the best thing of all and I can't tell anyone.
My dad is the best thing of all and I can't tell anyone.
My dad went through this charade so I'd believe in Santa Claus.
My dad went through this charade so I'd believe in Santa Claus.
My elfin pride blinded me to all reason.
My elfin pride blinded me to all reason.
My friends get to go around saying, "My dad's a plumber."
My friends get to go around saying, "My dad's a plumber."
My kid thinks I betrayed him.
My kid thinks I betrayed him.
My time's up.
My time's up.
My whole life has become about secrets, and I hate it!
My whole life has become about secrets, and I hate it!
Name change for the Tooth Fairy. Yes or no?
Name change for the Tooth Fairy. Yes or no?
Name five.
Name five.
Naughty kids get lumps of coal in their stockings. Right?
Naughty kids get lumps of coal in their stockings. Right?
Neil, are you sure you don't have any other clothes I can borrow?
Neil, are you sure you don't have any other clothes I can borrow?
Nice!
Nice!
Nicely done!
Nicely done!
No can do! It's Christmas Eve! I have coal to deliver!
No can do! It's Christmas Eve! I have coal to deliver!
No kid's gonna put a tooth under a pillow for a man named Roy.
No kid's gonna put a tooth under a pillow for a man named Roy.
No matter how many times you run that play, I never see it comin'.
No matter how many times you run that play, I never see it comin'.
No way.
No way.
No, he...
No, he...
No, I didn't figure on falling in love.
No, I didn't figure on falling in love.
No, I just. I...
No, I just. I...
No, I mean the secret Santa thing.
No, I mean the secret Santa thing.
No, I mean there's another Santa clause.
No, I mean there's another Santa clause.
No, I volunteered to go solo.
No, I volunteered to go solo.
No, I'm not messing with anybody. What I'm saying is,
No, I'm not messing with anybody. What I'm saying is,
No, I'm the rule maker. I like the rules. Santa likes rules.
No, I'm the rule maker. I like the rules. Santa likes rules.
No, it's just there 'cause it looks really cool.
No, it's just there 'cause it looks really cool.
No, it's okay. Come in.
No, it's okay. Come in.
No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business up here.
No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business up here.
No, they're not. They're easy.
No, they're not. They're easy.
No! No! This machine is not the answer.
No! No! This machine is not the answer.
No?
No?
No.
No.
No. But knowing it isn't a burden.
No. But knowing it isn't a burden.
No. I mean, I need you to read it.
No. I mean, I need you to read it.
No. I'm sorry.
No. I'm sorry.
No. That way Santa and his soldiers would be expecting us.
No. That way Santa and his soldiers would be expecting us.
No. Why would you think that?
No. Why would you think that?
Nobody was braver than you were today.
Nobody was braver than you were today.
Nonsense. A lot of people have reindeer.
Nonsense. A lot of people have reindeer.
Noodles and pie? (GIGGLES)
Noodles and pie? (GIGGLES)
Not an expression of the joy kids are supposed to be feeling.
Not an expression of the joy kids are supposed to be feeling.
Not my problem. I have a detention group on Saturday.
Not my problem. I have a detention group on Saturday.
Not now!
Not now!
Not so far! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Not so far! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Nothin' wrong with a straight line, Chet.
Nothin' wrong with a straight line, Chet.
Nothing tropical. You do not want to see this in a Speedo.
Nothing tropical. You do not want to see this in a Speedo.
Now you're acting like a mental patient because you're scared.
Now you're acting like a mental patient because you're scared.
Now, all you have to do is yell down the hall.
Now, all you have to do is yell down the hall.
Now, how about this? The Molarnator.
Now, how about this? The Molarnator.
Now, it's time for the big event.
Now, it's time for the big event.
Now, tell him!
Now, tell him!
Oh oh, wow wow wow!
Oh oh, wow wow wow!
Oh, Charlie.
Oh, Charlie.
Oh, Christmas Day
Oh, Christmas Day
Oh, count the ways
Oh, count the ways
Oh, dear. The de Santification process has begun!
Oh, dear. The de Santification process has begun!
Oh, I haven't seen you in a long time.
Oh, I haven't seen you in a long time.
Oh, it's heavy like a bag of gifts.
Oh, it's heavy like a bag of gifts.
Oh, it's not a date. It's the faculty Christmas party.
Oh, it's not a date. It's the faculty Christmas party.
Oh, my darling
Oh, my darling
Oh, really? This morning he ate a bowl of waxed fruit.
Oh, really? This morning he ate a bowl of waxed fruit.
Oh, Santa, we're in way over our heads here.
Oh, Santa, we're in way over our heads here.
Oh, Scott!
Oh, Scott!
Oh, so sorry! (LAUGHS)
Oh, so sorry! (LAUGHS)
Oh, there's none back there.
Oh, there's none back there.
Oh, well. The town'll break the fall.
Oh, well. The town'll break the fall.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Curtis! What are you doin' here?
Oh! Curtis! What are you doin' here?
Oh! Whoa!
Oh! Whoa!
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. (SCOFFS)
Oh. (SCOFFS)
Oh. I guess I missed that. I'm gonna go check on this group.
Oh. I guess I missed that. I'm gonna go check on this group.
Oh. If you spent more time with your son, there'd be fewer problems.
Oh. If you spent more time with your son, there'd be fewer problems.
Okay, all right. Here's what we need.
Okay, all right. Here's what we need.
Okay, Charlie. I want you to start by cleaning up this wall.
Okay, Charlie. I want you to start by cleaning up this wall.
Okay, elves!
Okay, elves!
Okay, everybody! Outside, now!
Okay, everybody! Outside, now!
Okay, everyone, can I get the room for a minute? Thank you.
Okay, everyone, can I get the room for a minute? Thank you.
Okay, I'll go get the football.
Okay, I'll go get the football.
Okay, now, help me. Can ya move anything?
Okay, now, help me. Can ya move anything?
Okay, okay, I admit it.
Okay, okay, I admit it.
Okay, ready? Go!
Okay, ready? Go!
Okay, then. Well, wish me luck.
Okay, then. Well, wish me luck.
Okay, we have cocoa.
Okay, we have cocoa.
Okay, we need you to study everything that's in that book
Okay, we need you to study everything that's in that book
Okay, you win!
Okay, you win!
Okay? Okay.
Okay? Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Chet, this is it. You ready to rock and roll?
Okay. Chet, this is it. You ready to rock and roll?
Okay. First, welcome to the North Pole. Great to have you here.
Okay. First, welcome to the North Pole. Great to have you here.
Okay. Go ahead.
Okay. Go ahead.
Okay. I'll help you up.
Okay. I'll help you up.
Okay. What I think, folks, is that a lot of you have forgotten
Okay. What I think, folks, is that a lot of you have forgotten
One mistake in 900 years.
One mistake in 900 years.
One year was a rocking horse, and I named it Harvey.
One year was a rocking horse, and I named it Harvey.
One,
One,
One, two,
One, two,
One!
One!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Or pie?
Or pie?
Or risk the buffet, I don't think we have much choice.
Or risk the buffet, I don't think we have much choice.
Or use the word "plastic."
Or use the word "plastic."
Or we go outside and play some football.
Or we go outside and play some football.
Or, as I recall, Roy.
Or, as I recall, Roy.
Ouch! Ow! Oh, oh, oh!
Ouch! Ow! Oh, oh, oh!
Ouch.
Ouch.
Overlooked the single most important detail
Overlooked the single most important detail
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow.
Ow.
People max out their credit cards... It's noisy.
People max out their credit cards... It's noisy.
Perfect job on suspension, you guys. Thinkin' outside the box. I love it.
Perfect job on suspension, you guys. Thinkin' outside the box. I love it.
Piece of cake. Attaboy. There you go.
Piece of cake. Attaboy. There you go.
Please, don't give up hope.
Please, don't give up hope.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Principal Newman?
Principal Newman?
Probably someone who knows his way around eBay.
Probably someone who knows his way around eBay.
Pull.
Pull.
Put a smile on that face, little troll!
Put a smile on that face, little troll!
Quiet!
Quiet!
Racing green, wire wheels. Beautiful.
Racing green, wire wheels. Beautiful.
Ready to go, buddy? You know what we gotta do.
Ready to go, buddy? You know what we gotta do.
Ready, hike!
Ready, hike!
Remember the mistletoe, how it just showed up?
Remember the mistletoe, how it just showed up?
Right away, Santa.
Right away, Santa.
Right! I'll memorize everything in the book.
Right! I'll memorize everything in the book.
Right. "He who wears the coat
Right. "He who wears the coat
Rumblin', stumblin', bumblin'!
Rumblin', stumblin', bumblin'!
Santa Claus left nothing Underneath my tree
Santa Claus left nothing Underneath my tree
Santa shirts, reindeer skirts
Santa shirts, reindeer skirts
Santa was always there for you.
Santa was always there for you.
Santa, I've got her on the locator.
Santa, I've got her on the locator.
Santa, if it gets to zero,
Santa, if it gets to zero,
Santa, if the elves find out we've made a switch... (GASPS)
Santa, if the elves find out we've made a switch... (GASPS)
Santa, look over there. See those elves?
Santa, look over there. See those elves?
Santa, when you said the bigger wheels, is this what you meant?
Santa, when you said the bigger wheels, is this what you meant?
SANTA: Okay, try it now.
SANTA: Okay, try it now.
SANTA: Ow! Ow!
SANTA: Ow! Ow!
SANTA: They pile on! (GROANS)
SANTA: They pile on! (GROANS)
Santa!
Santa!
Santa?
Santa?
Santa? We need to talk.
Santa? We need to talk.
Say "Carol."
Say "Carol."
Say hello to your elves.
Say hello to your elves.
SCOTT: Hey, guys, back up. I've got a special place for him.
SCOTT: Hey, guys, back up. I've got a special place for him.
SCOTT: Hey!
SCOTT: Hey!
Scott!
Scott!
Scott! Hey! You trimmed your beard.
Scott! Hey! You trimmed your beard.
Scott? Hey.
Scott? Hey.
Second of all, no can do.
Second of all, no can do.
Secret Santa Claus?
Secret Santa Claus?
See ya in about eight minutes.
See ya in about eight minutes.
See ya on the other side!
See ya on the other side!
See? Okay. It's not so bad so far.
See? Okay. It's not so bad so far.
Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.
She's afraid these are decorations for the caroling.
She's afraid these are decorations for the caroling.
Should I put it under my pillow?
Should I put it under my pillow?
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Sir, you're gonna want to hear this.
Sir, you're gonna want to hear this.
Six geese a laying!
Six geese a laying!
Slow down.
Slow down.
Snowballs, on three!
Snowballs, on three!
So am I sometimes.
So am I sometimes.
So am I. Charlie, we're all worried about you.
So am I. Charlie, we're all worried about you.
So as far as dating goes,
So as far as dating goes,
So be good for goodness'...
So be good for goodness'...
So before the choir gets out here, I say we rock this house
So before the choir gets out here, I say we rock this house
So I decided to make an army of toy soldiers.
So I decided to make an army of toy soldiers.
So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing...
So that's what the whole noodles and pie thing...
So untie us. Let the elves go and give me back the coat.
So untie us. Let the elves go and give me back the coat.
So we will all get together at the rec center
So we will all get together at the rec center
So what do you do?
So what do you do?
So you're going to drop me off, then come back and pick me up?
So you're going to drop me off, then come back and pick me up?
So, I'm so glad we finally got to do this.
So, I'm so glad we finally got to do this.
So, in case we don't see each other again...
So, in case we don't see each other again...
So, Mr. Andretti, what are you driving?
So, Mr. Andretti, what are you driving?
Some sweater. Like I should talk! (CHUCKLES)
Some sweater. Like I should talk! (CHUCKLES)
Some sweater. Like I should talk! (CHUCKLES)
Some sweater. Like I should talk! (CHUCKLES)
Someone could catch us at any moment.
Someone could catch us at any moment.
Someone tracked down all those wonderful antique toys.
Someone tracked down all those wonderful antique toys.
Something about her makes me want to deface public property.
Something about her makes me want to deface public property.
Sometimes being a despot is a tough business.
Sometimes being a despot is a tough business.
Sometimes you don't need to know all the answers.
Sometimes you don't need to know all the answers.
Son, it's showtime!
Son, it's showtime!
Soon, I'm gonna be seven. And then I can know things.
Soon, I'm gonna be seven. And then I can know things.
Sound military strategy involves taking your enemy by surprise.
Sound military strategy involves taking your enemy by surprise.
Sounds like...
Sounds like...
Speaking of which...
Speaking of which...
Spending any of that money on holiday decorations
Spending any of that money on holiday decorations
Sport, I gotta fly.
Sport, I gotta fly.
Spray on some flocking
Spray on some flocking
Stay away from my lead reindeer!
Stay away from my lead reindeer!
Stay where you are! Don't be afraid!
Stay where you are! Don't be afraid!
Stay.
Stay.
Stop the work, please. Everybody, stop the work.
Stop the work, please. Everybody, stop the work.
Streets are crowded, the malls are jammed,
Streets are crowded, the malls are jammed,
Strong reading from underneath the cap rock, sir!
Strong reading from underneath the cap rock, sir!
Sure.
Sure.
Sweet, just like you.
Sweet, just like you.
Take the hat off.
Take the hat off.
Take us to Elfcon 3.
Take us to Elfcon 3.
Takin' a sleigh ride
Takin' a sleigh ride
Tell me about it! I have 33,000 offspring. All in private school.
Tell me about it! I have 33,000 offspring. All in private school.
Thank you for those kind words, Bernard!
Thank you for those kind words, Bernard!
Thank you very much. (CHUCKLES)
Thank you very much. (CHUCKLES)
Thank you, Santa. Can we vote now on the Molarnator?
Thank you, Santa. Can we vote now on the Molarnator?
Thank you, sweetie.
Thank you, sweetie.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. That's all. Back to work, please.
Thank you. That's all. Back to work, please.
Thanks, Santa. You're the man.
Thanks, Santa. You're the man.
Thanks. Excuse me, pork chop.
Thanks. Excuse me, pork chop.
Thanks. Walk with me.
Thanks. Walk with me.
That doesn't mean takin' him out of school?
That doesn't mean takin' him out of school?
That doesn't want a piece of this.
That doesn't want a piece of this.
That I've changed my look, it'll work.
That I've changed my look, it'll work.
That time ofthe year That holiday cheer
That time ofthe year That holiday cheer
That toy Santa is me.
That toy Santa is me.
That you don't believe in him, you're making a big mistake.
That you don't believe in him, you're making a big mistake.
That's a good gesture. The reindeer love carrots.
That's a good gesture. The reindeer love carrots.
That's a good way to lose an eye! (LAUGHS)
That's a good way to lose an eye! (LAUGHS)
That's a pretty serious commitment issue, isn't it?
That's a pretty serious commitment issue, isn't it?
That's because it's me, Einstein.
That's because it's me, Einstein.
That's delicious! I like cocoa!
That's delicious! I like cocoa!
That's every parent's dilemma,
That's every parent's dilemma,
That's gonna leave a mark. Ooh.
That's gonna leave a mark. Ooh.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good. You just got yourself elected parent rep.
That's good. You just got yourself elected parent rep.
That's gorgeous. A little teddy bear and packages. That's very nice.
That's gorgeous. A little teddy bear and packages. That's very nice.
That's nice. I have a little announcement to make.
That's nice. I have a little announcement to make.
That's not a bad idea.
That's not a bad idea.
That's okay.
That's okay.
That's the rule. I like the rules.
That's the rule. I like the rules.
That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing!
That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing!
That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing!
That's what I was gonna say, that it should be snowing!
That's what I've been saying all along.
That's what I've been saying all along.
That's when my parents decided to tell me to
That's when my parents decided to tell me to
That's why they give me the big belly, so I don't fall over! (CACKLES)
That's why they give me the big belly, so I don't fall over! (CACKLES)
The children of the world don't deserve presents.
The children of the world don't deserve presents.
The de Santification process has already begun.
The de Santification process has already begun.
The de Santification?
The de Santification?
The duplicate will look and think just like you.
The duplicate will look and think just like you.
The elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear
The elves will lose their jobs, the North Pole will disappear
The handbook! Curtis, do you go pee pee with that thing?
The handbook! Curtis, do you go pee pee with that thing?
The Holly Hobbie Oven!
The Holly Hobbie Oven!
The lead. The one in the front, Chet!
The lead. The one in the front, Chet!
The malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses."
The malls are filled with other "Santa Clauses."
The minivan.
The minivan.
The Molarnator at your service!
The Molarnator at your service!
The Molarnator! I like it.
The Molarnator! I like it.
The necklace, it said Pamela on it.
The necklace, it said Pamela on it.
The only thing that's...
The only thing that's...
The suit, the red suit's real. The North Pole is a place.
The suit, the red suit's real. The North Pole is a place.
The toy will be up here melting in front of my fireplace.
The toy will be up here melting in front of my fireplace.
Then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.
Then I don't think there's any reason to continue this date.
Then I wouldn't spend so much time with you,
Then I wouldn't spend so much time with you,
Then let's not let it get to zero!
Then let's not let it get to zero!
Then one day, I looked at her,
Then one day, I looked at her,
There are elves. They make toys. They're beautiful and it's real.
There are elves. They make toys. They're beautiful and it's real.
There are things about me you should know. Personal things.
There are things about me you should know. Personal things.
There aren't any packages backstage.
There aren't any packages backstage.
There she is. Katie. Jerry.
There she is. Katie. Jerry.
There was a first clause, but also a second clause.
There was a first clause, but also a second clause.
There we go. Hi. I'm Scott Calvin and I just thought I'd step up here and...
There we go. Hi. I'm Scott Calvin and I just thought I'd step up here and...
There you are. That's gotta feel good.
There you are. That's gotta feel good.
There's a face only a mom would like.
There's a face only a mom would like.
There's a little speed bump in the road this year.
There's a little speed bump in the road this year.
There's a little trouble at the plant.
There's a little trouble at the plant.
There's a lot of rules they're not following.
There's a lot of rules they're not following.
There's divorced moms at school who'll go out with anybody.
There's divorced moms at school who'll go out with anybody.
There's many things. Look here...
There's many things. Look here...
There's never been a better Santa.
There's never been a better Santa.
There's no packages. It's one stop.
There's no packages. It's one stop.
There's now a more supple veneer to his skin
There's now a more supple veneer to his skin
There's only one Santa.
There's only one Santa.
There's something about you that I like!
There's something about you that I like!
These guys aren't stopping.
These guys aren't stopping.
They don't have a good sense of humor like me.
They don't have a good sense of humor like me.
They love red bell peppers, too.
They love red bell peppers, too.
They swallow them. If they're fresh, they'll eat 'em like that.
They swallow them. If they're fresh, they'll eat 'em like that.
They were at each other all the time.
They were at each other all the time.
They're happy. They're working hard.
They're happy. They're working hard.
They're not delinquents. And don't worry about your car.
They're not delinquents. And don't worry about your car.
They're running rampant with naughtiness.
They're running rampant with naughtiness.
They're running with scissors. They're sticky.
They're running with scissors. They're sticky.
They're students, actually, and yes.
They're students, actually, and yes.
Things have gotten a little too sloppy around here.
Things have gotten a little too sloppy around here.
This book is very interesting reading.
This book is very interesting reading.
This Christmas, we're gonna give those greedy kids
This Christmas, we're gonna give those greedy kids
This from someone in a diaper who shoots people's butts!
This from someone in a diaper who shoots people's butts!
This is a lot of fun!
This is a lot of fun!
This is all my fault.
This is all my fault.
This is great. (LAUGHS)
This is great. (LAUGHS)
This is not a good time, Abby.
This is not a good time, Abby.
This is our big time of year, so things are busy as usual.
This is our big time of year, so things are busy as usual.
This is so beautiful. I remember when Bernard gave this to you.
This is so beautiful. I remember when Bernard gave this to you.
This is Toss Across!
This is Toss Across!
This is what I call community service!
This is what I call community service!
This place is all about magic
This place is all about magic
This place...
This place...
This won't hurt, except for the electric shock through you.
This won't hurt, except for the electric shock through you.
Three!
Three!
Three!
Three!
Three!
Three!
Throw something over it.
Throw something over it.
Tiny hammers.
Tiny hammers.
To make better use of the electromagnetic energy.
To make better use of the electromagnetic energy.
Too much counterweight.
Too much counterweight.
Tooth Fairy, I want to thank you. I'll never forget this.
Tooth Fairy, I want to thank you. I'll never forget this.
TOY SANTA: You idiot! Wait a minute, something's shocking me.
TOY SANTA: You idiot! Wait a minute, something's shocking me.
Trust me! Don't let him ruin Christmas!
Trust me! Don't let him ruin Christmas!
Try to remember what it was like when you were little
Try to remember what it was like when you were little
Try to... This is just too tight.
Try to... This is just too tight.
Two for the Road. Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney.
Two for the Road. Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney.
Two,
Two,
Two!
Two!
Uh oh.
Uh oh.
Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?
Uncle Scott, are you Santa Claus?
Uncle Scott!
Uncle Scott!
Uncle Scott?
Uncle Scott?
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Cupid! Cupid, come over here.
Wait a minute. Cupid! Cupid, come over here.
Wait a minute. I got a joke. This'll cheer you up.
Wait a minute. I got a joke. This'll cheer you up.
Wait a minute. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Wait a minute. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Wait a minute. You tripled the RAM.
Wait a minute. You tripled the RAM.
Wait!
Wait!
Watch him. I'll be right back.
Watch him. I'll be right back.
Watch out! The building! Left, left!
Watch out! The building! Left, left!
Watch this!
Watch this!
Watch this.
Watch this.
Way!
Way!
Way! Whoo!
Way! Whoo!
We don't need to rush things, Scott.
We don't need to rush things, Scott.
We gotta go! When we get back, we start making some more toys.
We gotta go! When we get back, we start making some more toys.
We have a blanket. We have a horse drawn sleigh.
We have a blanket. We have a horse drawn sleigh.
We have a large firm. We work together in...
We have a large firm. We work together in...
We have a partridge in a pear tree.
We have a partridge in a pear tree.
We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead.
We have to focus, all of us, on the goals ahead.
We just used to be friends and hang out at the mall and stuff.
We just used to be friends and hang out at the mall and stuff.
We try to cut most children slack this time of year.
We try to cut most children slack this time of year.
We will make stockings.
We will make stockings.
We work together in Buffalo. So, we're gonna talk business.
We work together in Buffalo. So, we're gonna talk business.
We're really worried about Charlie.
We're really worried about Charlie.
Well, Charlie got himself on the naughty list.
Well, Charlie got himself on the naughty list.
Well, go on now. Kiss her!
Well, go on now. Kiss her!
Well, I could pick you up.
Well, I could pick you up.
Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate.
Well, I think he's learning at an excellent rate.
Well, I think you're very smart.
Well, I think you're very smart.
Well, I've done a pretty rotten job.
Well, I've done a pretty rotten job.
Well, let's try to be specific, shall we?
Well, let's try to be specific, shall we?
Well, most of them live in Finland. I can't pronounce their names.
Well, most of them live in Finland. I can't pronounce their names.
Well, now that we all have an understanding,
Well, now that we all have an understanding,
Well, on behalf of Father Time and the Council of Legendary Figures,
Well, on behalf of Father Time and the Council of Legendary Figures,
Well, please tell me that it's early in his training.
Well, please tell me that it's early in his training.
Well, there is. I...
Well, there is. I...
Well, this time of year, I really shine.
Well, this time of year, I really shine.
Well, to top it off,
Well, to top it off,
Well, you know, Danielle, I may not come out of this alive.
Well, you know, Danielle, I may not come out of this alive.
Well, you...
Well, you...
Well...
Well...
Well... I don't know how you did it.
Well... I don't know how you did it.
What about the elves?
What about the elves?
What about the kids?
What about the kids?
What am I supposed to do? Grow wings?
What am I supposed to do? Grow wings?
What are we going to do? We are worried...
What are we going to do? We are worried...
What are we gonna do now, smarty pants?
What are we gonna do now, smarty pants?
What are ya doin'?
What are ya doin'?
What are you doin' up there? I can't see where I'm driving.
What are you doin' up there? I can't see where I'm driving.
What are you doing with the naughty and nice list?
What are you doing with the naughty and nice list?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you gonna do? We dated for three years
What are you gonna do? We dated for three years
What do you mean it's not straight?
What do you mean it's not straight?
What do you mean, you didn't eat this?
What do you mean, you didn't eat this?
What do you people want? I only carry $20 in change.
What do you people want? I only carry $20 in change.
What do you think, Laura? Honestly, what do you think? Huh?
What do you think, Laura? Honestly, what do you think? Huh?
What happened? Was I asleep again?
What happened? Was I asleep again?
What I mean is I gotta go see Charlie, and I want you to convince the elves
What I mean is I gotta go see Charlie, and I want you to convince the elves
What if I don't want to get married?
What if I don't want to get married?
What is it, Charlie?
What is it, Charlie?
What the heck are we doin' out here?
What the heck are we doin' out here?
What the true spirit of Christmas is all about.
What the true spirit of Christmas is all about.
What the...
What the...
What you did in there tonight for everyone was wonderful.
What you did in there tonight for everyone was wonderful.
What, Charlie?
What, Charlie?
What?
What?
What? The old toaster trick?
What? The old toaster trick?
What? Well, what... You know what?
What? Well, what... You know what?
What? Why would you ask me something like that?
What? Why would you ask me something like that?
What's bothering you?
What's bothering you?
What's the matter with you? I'm gonna have to punish ya.
What's the matter with you? I'm gonna have to punish ya.
What's the most important thing?
What's the most important thing?
When did you become such a cynic?
When did you become such a cynic?
When I get back home, I sleep for a long time.
When I get back home, I sleep for a long time.
When the last Santa fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this.
When the last Santa fell off your roof and you put on his coat, you found this.
When we were kids, we used to do this to get a little extra cash.
When we were kids, we used to do this to get a little extra cash.
When you were little and alone...
When you were little and alone...
When you're with your family, dealing with Charlie, looking for a wife...
When you're with your family, dealing with Charlie, looking for a wife...
Whenever you play the designer bean card, you have bad news.
Whenever you play the designer bean card, you have bad news.
Where did that come from?
Where did that come from?
Where did... Who did this?
Where did... Who did this?
Where do you think you're going?
Where do you think you're going?
Where you going? Whoo!
Where you going? Whoo!
Whew!
Whew!
Whew!
Whew!
Which I made a lemonade stand, which was great.
Which I made a lemonade stand, which was great.
Which is a pretty frightening concept when you think about it.
Which is a pretty frightening concept when you think about it.
Which means a three month honeymoon for us.
Which means a three month honeymoon for us.
Who are you?
Who are you?
Who cares anymore?
Who cares anymore?
Who did?
Who did?
Who you callin' pork chop, meatloaf?
Who you callin' pork chop, meatloaf?
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa! (SCREAMING)
Whoa! (SCREAMING)
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa. Lost some weight there, huh? Slim Fast?
Whoa. Lost some weight there, huh? Slim Fast?
Whoah oh oh!
Whoah oh oh!
Whoah oh oh!
Whoah oh oh!
Whoah oh oh!
Whoah oh oh!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Why can't you fly higher?
Why can't you fly higher?
Why don't you buy yourself a wreath?
Why don't you buy yourself a wreath?
Why don't you just say it? "You were right, Curtis. I was wrong."
Why don't you just say it? "You were right, Curtis. I was wrong."
Why is this such a problem? Come on!
Why is this such a problem? Come on!
Why would he nap? He would probably need some coffee.
Why would he nap? He would probably need some coffee.
Why would you ask such a silly question?
Why would you ask such a silly question?
With a flawless complexion, I might add.
With a flawless complexion, I might add.
With kids who tried to tell me that he didn't exist.
With kids who tried to tell me that he didn't exist.
Without further ado, let us convene the year end conference.
Without further ado, let us convene the year end conference.
Won't you
Won't you
Would it kill you to give a wholehearted compliment?
Would it kill you to give a wholehearted compliment?
Would take away from the things that truly matter.
Would take away from the things that truly matter.
Would you be my wife?
Would you be my wife?
Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?
Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?
Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?
Wouldn't it be easier to go through the workshop?
Wow! Nice fall.
Wow! Nice fall.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, 'cause it's such a big reach for you!
Yeah, 'cause it's such a big reach for you!
Yeah, I can't wait till it's over, though.
Yeah, I can't wait till it's over, though.
Yeah, I'm right here. What's wrong?
Yeah, I'm right here. What's wrong?
Yeah, it does. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, it does. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, sort of like some kind of magic.
Yeah, sort of like some kind of magic.
Yeah, tonight.
Yeah, tonight.
Yeah, we have one, a school, but the elves need a new principal.
Yeah, we have one, a school, but the elves need a new principal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. And I'd wake up, and the cocoa and cookies would be gone,
Yeah. And I'd wake up, and the cocoa and cookies would be gone,
Yeah. And there was cocoa and cookies.
Yeah. And there was cocoa and cookies.
Yeah. No, no, I think that this is gonna work.
Yeah. No, no, I think that this is gonna work.
Yeah. What are you supposed to be?
Yeah. What are you supposed to be?
Yes, but there's another Santa clause.
Yes, but there's another Santa clause.
Yes, I know. Yes, I know.
Yes, I know. Yes, I know.
Yes, I was looking for a wife.
Yes, I was looking for a wife.
Yes, Sigmund. I was afraid I'd mess up the first time.
Yes, Sigmund. I was afraid I'd mess up the first time.
Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas.
Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas.
Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas.
Yes, there you are! Merry Christmas.
Yes!
Yes!
Yes! Come on!
Yes! Come on!
Yes! Sloppiness means mistakes. Mistakes aren't a good thing!
Yes! Sloppiness means mistakes. Mistakes aren't a good thing!
Yes! What's fresh?
Yes! What's fresh?
Yo, Tony! Hey, Brian, stop me!
Yo, Tony! Hey, Brian, stop me!
You and me both, pal. Okay. Let's just get it over with.
You and me both, pal. Okay. Let's just get it over with.
You are a sad, strange little man.
You are a sad, strange little man.
You are Santa! I knew it was you all along.
You are Santa! I knew it was you all along.
You better not cry
You better not cry
You better not cry
You better not cry
You better not pout
You better not pout
You better not pout and I'm telling you why
You better not pout and I'm telling you why
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You can't be two places at once.
You can't be two places at once.
You cost me, Pamela.
You cost me, Pamela.
You could almost say there's a...
You could almost say there's a...
You do look thinner, and...
You do look thinner, and...
You don't know how fast.
You don't know how fast.
You gotta focus, Chet.
You gotta focus, Chet.
You guys aren't elves. You're wizards!
You guys aren't elves. You're wizards!
You hated it?
You hated it?
You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret.
You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret.
You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret.
You have no idea how hard it is, walking around with that secret.
You have not seen cold till you see where my dad lives. It's...
You have not seen cold till you see where my dad lives. It's...
You have snowballed the wrong house.
You have snowballed the wrong house.
You have to push it to start it. Other than that, it's perfect.
You have to push it to start it. Other than that, it's perfect.
You haven't seen anything yet!
You haven't seen anything yet!
You in charge of the gangbangers?
You in charge of the gangbangers?
You keep asking me if there's something bothering me.
You keep asking me if there's something bothering me.
You know I didn't break any of the rules,
You know I didn't break any of the rules,
You know it's almost here
You know it's almost here
You know the stories. If you read...
You know the stories. If you read...
You know what else? Here's a little donation.
You know what else? Here's a little donation.
You know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna look through my phone book
You know what I'm gonna do? I am gonna look through my phone book
You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil.
You know what the problem is? Excuse me, Neil.
You know, I think you're gonna like it.
You know, I think you're gonna like it.
You know, I was exactly your age when I found out my dad was Santa.
You know, I was exactly your age when I found out my dad was Santa.
You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?
You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?
You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?
You look all rosy. Are you feeling better?
You look...
You look...
You love me?
You love me?
You say this is happening all so fast.
You say this is happening all so fast.
You see, tomorrow begins vacation season for me,
You see, tomorrow begins vacation season for me,
You should be proud of your wings.
You should be proud of your wings.
You still have time to find a wife.
You still have time to find a wife.
You take us to Elfcon 1. Let's rig for silent running.
You take us to Elfcon 1. Let's rig for silent running.
You wanna talk some trash? I'll talk trash with ya.
You wanna talk some trash? I'll talk trash with ya.
You want the shoe? Take it off. Go ahead. Go on!
You want the shoe? Take it off. Go ahead. Go on!
You wanted to change your name to Captain Floss or Plaque Man.
You wanted to change your name to Captain Floss or Plaque Man.
You won't be able to return to the Pole.
You won't be able to return to the Pole.
You work far away from home and you sleep a lot.
You work far away from home and you sleep a lot.
You'd spend less time in the spray paint industry.
You'd spend less time in the spray paint industry.
You're doing great. Dial it down on the ho ho ho's,
You're doing great. Dial it down on the ho ho ho's,
You're gettin' it, Chet.
You're gettin' it, Chet.
You're gonna fall, I hope!
You're gonna fall, I hope!
You're good.
You're good.
You're in the spotlight. Get bigger with it.
You're in the spotlight. Get bigger with it.
You've lost weight. Feeling all right?
You've lost weight. Feeling all right?
You've never been to prison and you don't wear socks with sandals.
You've never been to prison and you don't wear socks with sandals.
Your dad is hanging with Principal Newman?
Your dad is hanging with Principal Newman?
Your old man was a high school legend. A double letterman.
Your old man was a high school legend. A double letterman.
Yuk! That's not very nice! And yet, he's on the nice list.
Yuk! That's not very nice! And yet, he's on the nice list.
27 days, 20 hours and 17 minutes.
27 days, 20 hours and 17 minutes.
28 days? So I've gotta find a wife by Christmas.
28 days? So I've gotta find a wife by Christmas.
(BACKFIRING) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(BACKFIRING) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
(BOTH SHRIEKING) Whoa!
(BOTH SHRIEKING) Whoa!
(CAR ALARM BEEPING) Never mind!
(CAR ALARM BEEPING) Never mind!
(CHET HUMMING) Oh, boy.
(CHET HUMMING) Oh, boy.
(CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND) Whoo!
(CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND) Whoo!
(ENTHUSIASTICALLY) Oh! Yeah.
(ENTHUSIASTICALLY) Oh! Yeah.
(HUMMING TUNE) Santa Claus is coming to...
(HUMMING TUNE) Santa Claus is coming to...
(LAUGHS) A laugh! Actual laugh.
(LAUGHS) A laugh! Actual laugh.
(REINDEER SCREAMING) (LOUD THUMP)
(REINDEER SCREAMING) (LOUD THUMP)
(THUMP) CURTIS: Ow!
(THUMP) CURTIS: Ow!
(WHISPERS) Buffalo. Buffalo?
(WHISPERS) Buffalo. Buffalo?
A little altitude, please! What?
A little altitude, please! What?
All right, I'll stay. I'll get my coat.
All right, I'll stay. I'll get my coat.
Almost done. Okay. I'm not leaving.
Almost done. Okay. I'm not leaving.
And a merry Christmas! (CAROL LAUGHS)
And a merry Christmas! (CAROL LAUGHS)
And he said no. Whatever.
And he said no. Whatever.
And I'm not afraid! That's amazing!
And I'm not afraid! That's amazing!
And I'm telling you why Whoo!
And I'm telling you why Whoo!
And Roy. (LAUGHS) Roy! No.
And Roy. (LAUGHS) Roy! No.
And then I wanted to kiss her. (GASPS)
And then I wanted to kiss her. (GASPS)
And you were right. Uncle Scott,
And you were right. Uncle Scott,
Are you an elf? (LAUGHING) Of course not!
Are you an elf? (LAUGHING) Of course not!
Are you gonna be mad forever? Lucy!
Are you gonna be mad forever? Lucy!
Are you gonna make up? I don't know!
Are you gonna make up? I don't know!
Are you okay? Yeah.
Are you okay? Yeah.
Are you with us? I'm sorry, yes. Yes, I am.
Are you with us? I'm sorry, yes. Yes, I am.
Aren't you? Aren't you who?
Aren't you? Aren't you who?
As a singer songwriter. No way!
As a singer songwriter. No way!
Beautiful? Yes.
Beautiful? Yes.
Because they stunk. Today, I'd like to submit
Because they stunk. Today, I'd like to submit
Bernard, I need your help. What do you mean?
Bernard, I need your help. What do you mean?
Better now? It's gettin' there.
Better now? It's gettin' there.
BOTH: Miss Newman. Principal Newman.
BOTH: Miss Newman. Principal Newman.
BOTH: Miss Newman. Principal Newman.
BOTH: Miss Newman. Principal Newman.
BOTH: Santa... I can take it from here.
BOTH: Santa... I can take it from here.
Brought you coffee. Thank you.
Brought you coffee. Thank you.
But first, I'm gonna blitz. Ready, set!
But first, I'm gonna blitz. Ready, set!
But I couldn't tell anybody. I can't tell anybody either?
But I couldn't tell anybody. I can't tell anybody either?
Can you talk to him? I don't think so, Lucy.
Can you talk to him? I don't think so, Lucy.
Captain Floss. Nice!
Captain Floss. Nice!
Careful, it's hot. Of course it is.
Careful, it's hot. Of course it is.
Carl, you need a net. Not me!
Carl, you need a net. Not me!
Carol! Are you all right? Yes!
Carol! Are you all right? Yes!
Carol. Uh huh.
Carol. Uh huh.
Chet, whoa! (MAD CACKLE)
Chet, whoa! (MAD CACKLE)
Chet! Whoo!
Chet! Whoo!
Chet! Chet! (CHET CACKLES WILDLY)
Chet! Chet! (CHET CACKLES WILDLY)
Chet? Yeah. He's still in training.
Chet? Yeah. He's still in training.
Curtis? What?
Curtis? What?
Dad, it doesn't come off. It's not supposed to come off.
Dad, it doesn't come off. It's not supposed to come off.
Dad, we gotta go. Walk me to my sleigh.
Dad, we gotta go. Walk me to my sleigh.
Dad? Hey, sport.
Dad? Hey, sport.
Did they call you? It's not like that.
Did they call you? It's not like that.
Did you have a fight? Sort of.
Did you have a fight? Sort of.
Did you investigate us? (LAUGHS) No, I wouldn't do that.
Did you investigate us? (LAUGHS) No, I wouldn't do that.
Do I make myself clear? Yes.
Do I make myself clear? Yes.
Do you have any twos? Go fish!
Do you have any twos? Go fish!
Do you like Shania Twain? Yeah!
Do you like Shania Twain? Yeah!
Do you want a cookie, Santa? Do I want a cookie?
Do you want a cookie, Santa? Do I want a cookie?
Do you want some cocoa? Yes.
Do you want some cocoa? Yes.
Don't you? No! That's not how it works!
Don't you? No! That's not how it works!
Dr. Miller? Neil.
Dr. Miller? Neil.
Easy, boys, easy. (CHET GROANS)
Easy, boys, easy. (CHET GROANS)
Enough with the questions. You can't stop being Santa.
Enough with the questions. You can't stop being Santa.
Every one? Do as she says, Charlie.
Every one? Do as she says, Charlie.
Get down on one knee. Hmm?
Get down on one knee. Hmm?
Go, go! Hyah, boy! Come on!
Go, go! Hyah, boy! Come on!
Go! Go! Go! (CHET BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Go! Go! Go! (CHET BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning.
Good night, Curtis. Good night, Lucy.
Good night, Curtis. Good night, Lucy.
Good night. Night.
Good night. Night.
Great kid. Good boy.
Great kid. Good boy.
Has he had much flight time? About a minute and a half.
Has he had much flight time? About a minute and a half.
Haven't changed a bit! Gee, thanks.
Haven't changed a bit! Gee, thanks.
He's had a lot of crash time! Curtis!
He's had a lot of crash time! Curtis!
He's just a baby. All right.
He's just a baby. All right.
He's not Santa? BERNARD: He's a toy!
He's not Santa? BERNARD: He's a toy!
He's right. SANTA: This is all I want to do.
He's right. SANTA: This is all I want to do.
Hear, hear. What a lovely place.
Hear, hear. What a lovely place.
Hello, Principal Newman. (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Hello, Principal Newman. (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
Here, why don't you sit down? Oh, thank you.
Here, why don't you sit down? Oh, thank you.
Here! Cory. Cory?
Here! Cory. Cory?
Hi, Charlie. Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Charlie. Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Comet. Hi!
Hi, Comet. Hi!
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Hi.
Hi. Oh. You look...
Hi. Oh. You look...
Hmm. Have you seen that thing? I've seen it.
Hmm. Have you seen that thing? I've seen it.
Ho, ho, ho. Santa?
Ho, ho, ho. Santa?
How come Uncle Scott was sad? What makes you think that?
How come Uncle Scott was sad? What makes you think that?
How does he know where it is? I programed him that way.
How does he know where it is? I programed him that way.
How magical that was? Yes.
How magical that was? Yes.
How much time do I have? 28 days.
How much time do I have? 28 days.
How's that, Curtis? I added a fuzzy logic circuit.
How's that, Curtis? I added a fuzzy logic circuit.
Hyah! (CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND)
Hyah! (CHET MAKES BUGLE SOUND)
I can't figure it out. It's beanbag tic tac toe.
I can't figure it out. It's beanbag tic tac toe.
I can't see that. Better now?
I can't see that. Better now?
I could drive you to your party. That would be great.
I could drive you to your party. That would be great.
I deliver gifts in a sleigh. Incredible.
I deliver gifts in a sleigh. Incredible.
I don't. I work a long way from home.
I don't. I work a long way from home.
I exist. That's not funny.
I exist. That's not funny.
I gotta get married! Yes.
I gotta get married! Yes.
I guess it's over. No! You can't think that way!
I guess it's over. No! You can't think that way!
I guess so. There's no guessing.
I guess so. There's no guessing.
I like this guy. I can barely read this.
I like this guy. I can barely read this.
I lost it! What do you mean, you lost it?
I lost it! What do you mean, you lost it?
I love creative people. Yeah?
I love creative people. Yeah?
I love you, buddy. (WHINES)
I love you, buddy. (WHINES)
I love you. You do?
I love you. You do?
I need you to look at this. All right!
I need you to look at this. All right!
I thought he straightened out. Not that Charlie.
I thought he straightened out. Not that Charlie.
I thought you had Comet. Yeah, we...
I thought you had Comet. Yeah, we...
I was really good this year. (CHUCKLES)
I was really good this year. (CHUCKLES)
I'm a terrible sleigh riding... It's fine conversation.
I'm a terrible sleigh riding... It's fine conversation.
I'm checking it twice. I already told you!
I'm checking it twice. I already told you!
I'm comin' after you, buddy. Seven swans a swimming!
I'm comin' after you, buddy. Seven swans a swimming!
I'm gettin' somethin' on the sonar! MAN: What is it?
I'm gettin' somethin' on the sonar! MAN: What is it?
I'm goin' in. Oh, I can't watch this!
I'm goin' in. Oh, I can't watch this!
I'm more afraid now. Dad, you can't give up.
I'm more afraid now. Dad, you can't give up.
I'm pretty nervous. Oh. Are you? (LAUGHS)
I'm pretty nervous. Oh. Are you? (LAUGHS)
I'm sorry? I'm in charge here.
I'm sorry? I'm in charge here.
I've done some work on it. It's beautiful. It really is.
I've done some work on it. It's beautiful. It really is.
Is he all right? ELF: He's okay, Santa.
Is he all right? ELF: He's okay, Santa.
Is he dating her? No.
Is he dating her? No.
Is she a neighbor? No.
Is she a neighbor? No.
Is that okay? Yeah.
Is that okay? Yeah.
Is there a problem? No, no. I just...
Is there a problem? No, no. I just...
It's at 10. That should be enough.
It's at 10. That should be enough.
It's Charlie. Sheen?
It's Charlie. Sheen?
It's classic acting out. I'm blaming myself for this.
It's classic acting out. I'm blaming myself for this.
It's complicated. Is he a spy?
It's complicated. Is he a spy?
It's good to have fun. Right.
It's good to have fun. Right.
It's incredible! Yes, it is.
It's incredible! Yes, it is.
It's magical. Cut it out.
It's magical. Cut it out.
It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
It's not a problem. Okay.
It's not a problem. Okay.
It's okay. BOY: Let's go!
It's okay. BOY: Let's go!
It's snowing. Oh.
It's snowing. Oh.
It's snowing. Oh.
It's snowing. Oh.
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Knock, knock! Who's there?
Lizzy Garcia. Here.
Lizzy Garcia. Here.
Look alive, everybody! Okay, we're at Elfcon 1.
Look alive, everybody! Okay, we're at Elfcon 1.
Look, it just glistens. Listen to me. I'm back now.
Look, it just glistens. Listen to me. I'm back now.
LUCY: Hi, Mom! Lucy!
LUCY: Hi, Mom! Lucy!
Marie? Here!
Marie? Here!
Me! Sorry, Gordon. Hey!
Me! Sorry, Gordon. Hey!
Merry Christmas, Lucy. Merry Christmas, Santa.
Merry Christmas, Lucy. Merry Christmas, Santa.
Merry Christmas! (QUACKS)
Merry Christmas! (QUACKS)
My dad is Santa. Oh, please. Not you too.
My dad is Santa. Oh, please. Not you too.
Neil, any theories? Well, frankly, I have several.
Neil, any theories? Well, frankly, I have several.
No big deal. I'm not embarrassed.
No big deal. I'm not embarrassed.
No way! Way!
No way! Way!
No, no, no. Please. Don't worry.
No, no, no. Please. Don't worry.
No. No.
No. No.
No. You gotta get married.
No. You gotta get married.
Not bad. Not bad yourself.
Not bad. Not bad yourself.
Now, look at me. Mmm hmm.
Now, look at me. Mmm hmm.
Number two, tell him now. Tell me what, guys? Come clean.
Number two, tell him now. Tell me what, guys? Come clean.
Oh, please! Good heavens!
Oh, please! Good heavens!
Oh! (ELVES EXCLAIMING)
Oh! (ELVES EXCLAIMING)
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh.
Oh. Hi. Hi.
Oh. Hi. Hi.
Oh. What about the jet pack? It burned up on reentry.
Oh. What about the jet pack? It burned up on reentry.
Okay! Yeah! (LAUGHS) Come on.
Okay! Yeah! (LAUGHS) Come on.
Okay. There you go.
Okay. There you go.
Or now? I can't see anything.
Or now? I can't see anything.
Or now? Well...
Or now? Well...
Plaque Man. (SNORTS)
Plaque Man. (SNORTS)
Plenty of women at the mall. Charlie!
Plenty of women at the mall. Charlie!
Possible oil flow? Still analyzing.
Possible oil flow? Still analyzing.
Prancer's not this picky. COMET: Yes, he is.
Prancer's not this picky. COMET: Yes, he is.
Sandman? (SNORING) What...
Sandman? (SNORING) What...
Santa already checked it. No, I didn't.
Santa already checked it. No, I didn't.
Santa, are you all right? Yeah, I got a shock in there.
Santa, are you all right? Yeah, I got a shock in there.
Santa, there's a clause. That would be me.
Santa, there's a clause. That would be me.
SANTA: Bernard. (SIGHS)
SANTA: Bernard. (SIGHS)
Scott, are you all right? Mom!
Scott, are you all right? Mom!
Scott, you're not helping. Ugh!
Scott, you're not helping. Ugh!
See you both there. You say both of us?
See you both there. You say both of us?
So what are you gonna do? I'm going to geometry.
So what are you gonna do? I'm going to geometry.
So what work do you do? I'm in the toy business.
So what work do you do? I'm in the toy business.
So you have a nice guy side. I'm a man of many sides.
So you have a nice guy side. I'm a man of many sides.
Sure, it's straight. Uh uh.
Sure, it's straight. Uh uh.
Sweet kid. Good teeth.
Sweet kid. Good teeth.
Take us to Elfcon 2! Let's go to Elfcon 2.
Take us to Elfcon 2! Let's go to Elfcon 2.
Tell me about it. You too, huh? Girl trouble?
Tell me about it. You too, huh? Girl trouble?
Tell me what's been happenin'. I learned to swim underwater.
Tell me what's been happenin'. I learned to swim underwater.
Thank you for everything. No. Thank you.
Thank you for everything. No. Thank you.
Thank you. Tom Astle.
Thank you. Tom Astle.
That is really gross, man. Shut up.
That is really gross, man. Shut up.
That sounds so creative. I love it.
That sounds so creative. I love it.
That was me. Yeah?
That was me. Yeah?
That's a holiday in December. Oh.
That's a holiday in December. Oh.
That's beautiful. Look at 'em! Yeah.
That's beautiful. Look at 'em! Yeah.
That's weird, isn't it? BOTH: Uh oh.
That's weird, isn't it? BOTH: Uh oh.
The elves'll know. But this would be a special toy!
The elves'll know. But this would be a special toy!
The real Santa. I am the real Santa!
The real Santa. I am the real Santa!
Then I'll fall in love. First of all, they're arrows.
Then I'll fall in love. First of all, they're arrows.
There. Merry Christmas. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots!
There. Merry Christmas. Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots!
There's gotta be a mistake. We don't make mistakes.
There's gotta be a mistake. We don't make mistakes.
These fit yesterday. Hot cocoa for you.
These fit yesterday. Hot cocoa for you.
They're coming right at us! Take us to Elfcon 3!
They're coming right at us! Take us to Elfcon 3!
They're not too girly? Not on you.
They're not too girly? Not on you.
Thick or thin crust? Thin.
Thick or thin crust? Thin.
Think about the little girl. You felt something for me.
Think about the little girl. You felt something for me.
Think what's happened. I know what's going on.
Think what's happened. I know what's going on.
This is all happening so fast. Well, there's no pressure.
This is all happening so fast. Well, there's no pressure.
Thought you liked the sweater. We'll talk later.
Thought you liked the sweater. We'll talk later.
Tooth Fairy. Thank you, Mother Nature.
Tooth Fairy. Thank you, Mother Nature.
Tracy! Yes!
Tracy! Yes!
Uncle Scott! How's my little sweet pea?
Uncle Scott! How's my little sweet pea?
Want some more hot chocolate? Mmm hmm.
Want some more hot chocolate? Mmm hmm.
We should get going. Oh, okay.
We should get going. Oh, okay.
We're both his parents. Where is he?
We're both his parents. Where is he?
We've got 10 minutes. Where is Carol?
We've got 10 minutes. Where is Carol?
Well, there's this one girl. Mmm.
Well, there's this one girl. Mmm.
Well... (LAUGHS)
Well... (LAUGHS)
What about you guys? It's not completely hopeless.
What about you guys? It's not completely hopeless.
What are you doing? Just shoveling.
What are you doing? Just shoveling.
What are you talking about? I look like a limesicle.
What are you talking about? I look like a limesicle.
What business? It's none of your business.
What business? It's none of your business.
What did you have in mind? We could...
What did you have in mind? We could...
What do I do? Slow down.
What do I do? Slow down.
What do you have in mind? Let me show you.
What do you have in mind? Let me show you.
What do you need? Shoot me with a dart.
What do you need? Shoot me with a dart.
What kind of school is this? A public school.
What kind of school is this? A public school.
What kind of school is this? A public school.
What kind of school is this? A public school.
What now? It's just gone.
What now? It's just gone.
What was that? I don't know.
What was that? I don't know.
What? (LAUGHS)
What? (LAUGHS)
What? I check the list twice.
What? I check the list twice.
What? No!
What? No!
What? Oh, my!
What? Oh, my!
What? Otherwise I stop being Santa.
What? Otherwise I stop being Santa.
What? Ow!
What? Ow!
What? These are hard questions.
What? These are hard questions.
What? Talk to me. I don't live a normal life.
What? Talk to me. I don't live a normal life.
What's going on down there? Are you sure about this?
What's going on down there? Are you sure about this?
What's going on? I'm checking the naughty nice list.
What's going on? I'm checking the naughty nice list.
What's the bad news? What do you mean?
What's the bad news? What do you mean?
What's the object of tinsel football? Come on down.
What's the object of tinsel football? Come on down.
What's up? Toy Santa's out of control.
What's up? Toy Santa's out of control.
What's your favorite music? Country western.
What's your favorite music? Country western.
Where are you going? I gotta deliver gifts.
Where are you going? I gotta deliver gifts.
which is always such a pleasure. Oh.
which is always such a pleasure. Oh.
Who is that? It was Chet.
Who is that? It was Chet.
Who's the kid? One of my elves. He's an elf.
Who's the kid? One of my elves. He's an elf.
Whoa! (CRASHING)
Whoa! (CRASHING)
Whoa! (WHISTLES)
Whoa! (WHISTLES)
Whoa. Look at the sweater! Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Whoa. Look at the sweater! Yeah! (LAUGHS)
Why didn't Bernard tell me? He's under house arrest.
Why didn't Bernard tell me? He's under house arrest.
Why don't you talk about your dad? He doesn't like me to.
Why don't you talk about your dad? He doesn't like me to.
Why not? Arrows have no effect on us.
Why not? Arrows have no effect on us.
with a secret Santa! Huh? Oh.
with a secret Santa! Huh? Oh.
Works every time! I can't watch this.
Works every time! I can't watch this.
Would you excuse me? Mmm hmm.
Would you excuse me? Mmm hmm.
Would you get that, honey? Yeah, sure.
Would you get that, honey? Yeah, sure.
Yeah. Why don't you just stay?
Yeah. Why don't you just stay?
Yeah. Yep.
Yeah. Yep.
Yes? I lost another tooth.
Yes? I lost another tooth.
Yes? I lost another tooth.
Yes? I lost another tooth.
Yes. And the sleigh.
Yes. And the sleigh.
Yes. Yes?
Yes. Yes?
Yes. What would be your idea? Pizza and a movie.
Yes. What would be your idea? Pizza and a movie.
You all know Charlie. Oh! I love Charlie!
You all know Charlie. Oh! I love Charlie!
You gotta save Christmas. How am I supposed to save...
You gotta save Christmas. How am I supposed to save...
You just needed a wife. No.
You just needed a wife. No.
You know how I feel. You're misunderstanding.
You know how I feel. You're misunderstanding.
You know that one? I know that song.
You know that one? I know that song.
You like it? The workmanship's fabulous.
You like it? The workmanship's fabulous.
You live a great life here. Just listen to me!
You live a great life here. Just listen to me!
You look really different. The weight.
You look really different. The weight.
You ready, buddy? All right. Let her rip.
You ready, buddy? All right. Let her rip.
You sure? Uh huh.
You sure? Uh huh.
You were great. Sounds like you were, too.
You were great. Sounds like you were, too.
You won't confide in me. You want it? Here it is.
You won't confide in me. You want it? Here it is.
You're suspended. But, Dad!
You're suspended. But, Dad!
Your beard is shorter! Right? ALL: You're right!
Your beard is shorter! Right? ALL: You're right!
'Cause as of late, some of the elves have been acting a bit impish.
'Cause as of late, some of the elves have been acting a bit impish.
'Cause if you do, then we have to.
'Cause if you do, then we have to.
'Cause rules are very important!
'Cause rules are very important!
'Cause you have a reindeer, and only Santa has reindeer.
'Cause you have a reindeer, and only Santa has reindeer.
"Brush your teeth!" "Pick up those clothes!"
"Brush your teeth!" "Pick up those clothes!"
"Holy...
"Holy...
"I'm not gonna stop this car!" "No, we're not there yet!"
"I'm not gonna stop this car!" "No, we're not there yet!"
"Matrimony"?
"Matrimony"?
"My dad's a pilot." "My dad's a dentist." You know what?
"My dad's a pilot." "My dad's a dentist." You know what?
"takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus."
"takes on the responsibilities of Santa Claus."
"The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing...
"The card holder acknowledges a woman of his choosing...
"True love... Not valid in the state of Utah...
"True love... Not valid in the state of Utah...
(AIRPLANE SOARING)
(AIRPLANE SOARING)
(ALARM SOUNDING)
(ALARM SOUNDING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
(ALL MURMURING)
(ALL MURMURING)
(ALL MURMURING)
(ALL MURMURING)
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL YELLING)
(ALL YELLING)
(BANGS GAVEL)
(BANGS GAVEL)
(BEEPING)
(BEEPING)
(BEEPS)
(BEEPS)
(BELL TOLLING)
(BELL TOLLING)
(BLOODCURDLING CRY)
(BLOODCURDLING CRY)
(BOLT TIGHTENING)
(BOLT TIGHTENING)
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH GASP)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
(BOTH SIGHING)
(BOTH SIGHING)
(CACKLES)
(CACKLES)
(CHARLIE SNIFFLES)
(CHARLIE SNIFFLES)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
(CHET BABBLES)
(CHET BABBLES)
(CHET BABBLES)
(CHET BABBLES)
(CHET CACKLES WILDLY)
(CHET CACKLES WILDLY)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYING)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(CHUCKLING)
(CHUCKLING)
(CHUCKLING)
(CHUCKLING)
(CLAMORING)
(CLAMORING)
(CLATTERING)
(CLATTERING)
(COMET GRUMBLES)
(COMET GRUMBLES)
(CRASHING)
(CRASHING)
(DELIGHTED LAUGH)
(DELIGHTED LAUGH)
(DELIGHTED LAUGH)
(DELIGHTED LAUGH)
(DEVICE POWERS UP)
(DEVICE POWERS UP)
(DEVICE POWERS UP)
(DEVICE POWERS UP)
(DOOR BELL RINGING)
(DOOR BELL RINGING)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(ELECTRONIC BEEPING)
(ELECTRONIC WARBLING STOPS)
(ELECTRONIC WARBLING STOPS)
(ELECTRONIC WARBLING)
(ELECTRONIC WARBLING)
(ELVES CHEERING)
(ELVES CHEERING)
(ELVES CHEERING)
(ELVES CHEERING)
(ENGINE POWERS DOWN)
(ENGINE POWERS DOWN)
(ENGINE REVS)
(ENGINE REVS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXHALES)
(EXHALES)
(FARTS)
(FARTS)
(FEEDBACK)
(FEEDBACK)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(FOOTSTEPS)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GABBLES)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GIGGLING)
(GIGGLING)
(GROANING)
(GROANING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(GRUMBLING)
(GRUMBLING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
(GULPING)
(GULPING)
(GURGLING)
(GURGLING)
(HOOVES CLOPPING)
(HOOVES CLOPPING)
(HORN SOUNDS)
(HORN SOUNDS)
(HUMMING)
(HUMMING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(IRRITABLE GRUMBLING)
(IRRITABLE GRUMBLING)
(KLAXON BLARING)
(KLAXON BLARING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS) Hyah!
(LAUGHS) Hyah!
(LAUGHS) No, I'm very busy. I do a lot of other community service.
(LAUGHS) No, I'm very busy. I do a lot of other community service.
(LONG GROAN)
(LONG GROAN)
(MACHINES STOP)
(MACHINES STOP)
(MOUSE SQUEAKING)
(MOUSE SQUEAKING)
(MUMBLES)
(MUMBLES)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(NASALLY) Uh, whoah oh oh
(NASALLY) Uh, whoah oh oh
(OFF KEY) Watchin' the windows fog drinkin' some eggnog
(OFF KEY) Watchin' the windows fog drinkin' some eggnog
(PANTING)
(PANTING)
(PANTING)
(PANTING)
(PLASTICKY SQUEAKING)
(PLASTICKY SQUEAKING)
(PLASTICKY SQUEAKING)
(PLASTICKY SQUEAKING)
(QUACKING)
(QUACKING)
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
(REINDEER BABBLES WITH EXCITEMENT)
(REINDEER BABBLES WITH EXCITEMENT)
(REINDEER HOOVES THUNDERING)
(REINDEER HOOVES THUNDERING)
(REINDEER HOOVES)
(REINDEER HOOVES)
(REINDEER SIGHS HAPPILY)
(REINDEER SIGHS HAPPILY)
(SANTA CHUCKLES)
(SANTA CHUCKLES)
(SCATTING WEDDING SONG)
(SCATTING WEDDING SONG)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SHOUTS) Put up a tree! Sports on TV!
(SHOUTS) Put up a tree! Sports on TV!
(SHRIEKING)
(SHRIEKING)
(SHUSHES)
(SHUSHES)
(SHUSHING)
(SHUSHING)
(SHUSHING) Tooth Fairy, it's me, Santa.
(SHUSHING) Tooth Fairy, it's me, Santa.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS) So I was mistaken when I saw this bag of gifts.
(SIGHS) So I was mistaken when I saw this bag of gifts.
(SILENCE)
(SILENCE)
(SINGING) Dashing through the snow
(SINGING) Dashing through the snow
(SINGING) The best thing about singing at Christmas
(SINGING) The best thing about singing at Christmas
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
(SONG CONTINUES PLAYING)
(SPRAY PAINTING)
(SPRAY PAINTING)
(SQUEAKING)
(SQUEAKING)
(STUTTERING)
(STUTTERING)
(THUDDING)
(THUDDING)
(TOYS SQUEAKING)
(TOYS SQUEAKING)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
(TRIUMPHANT LAUGH)
(TRIUMPHANT LAUGH)
(UPROAR)
(UPROAR)
(VOICE BREAKS) Come here.
(VOICE BREAKS) Come here.
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHIRRING)
(WHISPERING) This way. Come on.
(WHISPERING) This way. Come on.
(WHISPERS) I will.
(WHISPERS) I will.
(WHISPERS) Lucy?
(WHISPERS) Lucy?
(WHISPERS) Lucy.
(WHISPERS) Lucy.
(WHISPERS) Thank you. I've got it from here.
(WHISPERS) Thank you. I've got it from here.
(WHISTLES)
(WHISTLES)
(WHISTLES)
(WHISTLES)
(WHOOSHING)
(WHOOSHING)
(WIND HOWLS)
(WIND HOWLS)
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
(WOMEN LAUGHING)
(YELLING)
(YELLING)
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Napoleon Dynamite Soundboard
Heavy Soundboard: Team Fortress 2
Heavy Soundboard: Team Fortress 2
Big Smoke Sounds: Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas
Big Smoke Sounds: Grand Theft Auto - San Andreas
Funny Sounds Of Germany
Funny Sounds of Germany
Trymacs Streamer Soundboard
Trymacs Streamer Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
C3PO (Star Wars) TTS Computer AI Voice
C3PO (Star Wars) TTS Computer AI Voice
Five Nights At Freddy's Sounds
Five Nights at Freddy's Sounds
Star Trek Ringtones
Star Trek Ringtones
Disney Ringtones
Disney Ringtones
Pikachu Soundboard: Hey You, Pikachu!
Pikachu Soundboard: Hey You, Pikachu!
Yoda Soundboard: Star Wars
Yoda Soundboard: Star Wars
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
TikTok TTS - Official TikTok Lady Text-To-Speech Computer Voice
TikTok TTS - Official TikTok Lady Text-To-Speech Computer Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Stitch (Lelo & Stitch) TTS Computer AI Voice
Stitch (Lelo & Stitch) TTS Computer AI Voice
Family Feud
Family Feud
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Soundboard
Daft Punk - Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Soundboard
⚠️ NSFW
Beavis And Butthead Sounds
Beavis and Butthead Sounds
E-Girl Soundboard
E-Girl Soundboard
Yoda Ringtones
Yoda Ringtones
OME TV VCS Soundboard
OME TV VCS Soundboard
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Adam (ElevenLabs) (aggressive) TTS Computer AI Voice
Adam (ElevenLabs) (aggressive) TTS Computer AI Voice
Battle Droid Sounds: Star Wars
Battle Droid Sounds: Star Wars
Minecraft Giant Sound Effects Soundboard
Minecraft Giant Sound Effects Soundboard
Meme Soundboard 2023
Meme Soundboard 2023
Carl Johnson GTA Soundboard
Carl Johnson GTA Soundboard
Merchant Sounds: Resident Evil 4
Merchant Sounds: Resident Evil 4
Halo Ringtones
Halo Ringtones
Spy Soundboard - Team Fortress 2
Spy Soundboard - Team Fortress 2
Windows 7 Sounds
Windows 7 Sounds