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Home > The Tender Bar
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The Tender Bar

The Tender Bar

The Tender Bar is a captivating and heartwarming coming-of-age story that focuses on the journey of a young man named J.R. Moehringer. Originally a memoir by Moehringer, this tale was adapted into a film in 2021 by the talented director George Clooney.

The movie revolves around J.R. Moehringer's childhood, growing up in Long Island in the 1970s. Played by the brilliant actor Tye Sheridan, J.R. is a curious and adventurous young boy who seeks solace and guidance from the patrons of a local bar called The Dickens. The bar becomes his surrogate family and a haven where J.R. explores life's complicated lessons.

At the heart of The Tender Bar is Uncle Charlie, portrayed by the incomparable Ben Affleck. Uncle Charlie, a charismatic and larger-than-life figure, takes J.R. under his wing and becomes the father figure he never had. Affleck's portrayal is both tender and powerful, providing a captivating on-screen presence that captures the essence of Uncle Charlie's impact on J.R.'s life.

Other notable characters in The Tender Bar include J.R.'s mother, Dorothy Moehringer, played by Lily Rabe, who portrays the strong and resilient single mother who works tirelessly to provide for her son. Raúl Castillo brings to life J.R.'s biological father, a complex character who struggles with his own demons and regrets.

As J.R. embarks on his journey to find his place in the world, he encounters various individuals who shape his perspective on life. Alongside Sheridan's superb portrayal of J.R., The Tender Bar boasts a talented ensemble cast, including Christopher Lloyd as J.R.'s loving grandfather, Peter, and Max Martini as Uncle Charlie's best friend, Mitch.

The Tender Bar explores themes of identity, family, and the search for belonging. The relationships J.R. forms at The Dickens bar teach him life lessons and provide him with a support system that guides him through the challenges of adolescence. The movie beautifully captures the sense of camaraderie and the profound impact a chosen family can have on one's life.

Enhancing the narrative of The Tender Bar is a stunning musical score composed by Daniel Pemberton. Pemberton's compositions perfectly capture the emotions and atmosphere of the film, adding depth and resonance to key moments. Whether it's the soaring melodies during moments of triumph or the hauntingly melancholic tones during introspective scenes, Pemberton's score complements the storytelling and elevates the viewing experience.

If you are intrigued by the music of The Tender Bar, you are in luck! You can easily play and download the soundtrack from your favorite online music platforms. Immerse yourself in the soul-stirring melodies that echo the spirit of J.R.'s journey and let the music transport you to the heartfelt world of The Tender Bar.

In conclusion, The Tender Bar is a poignant and captivating film that tells the story of a young man’s coming-of-age journey, his search for belonging, and the powerful influence of chosen family. With a stellar cast led by Tye Sheridan and Ben Affleck, this movie explores themes of identity and the transformative power of relationships. As you watch, be sure to immerse yourself in the beauty of the musical score composed by Daniel Pemberton, adding an extra layer of emotion to the heartfelt narrative. Don't miss this incredible film and make sure to check out the soundtrack to savor The Tender Bar experience.

A bar on Long Island.
A book. With a book, you'll go years
A doctor at school says I have no identity.
A father son breakfast might be tough.
A little while later, after being arrested while on air
A lot of people don't.
A vote's taken and, um, I can't tell you who voted how or why
A, it's in remission.
Ability as a concept, turned into a mechanical, empirical construct.
About me?
About what?
According to the laws of the sovereign state of New York,
Actually, he owes me this fucking car.
Adam, excellent.
Ah, this guy's got nothing.
Ah, we all make mistakes.
Ah.
Ah.
All I really remember about him is that fucking voice.
All props to the 82nd, but your little fucking airdrop on Grenada is not a war.
All right, all right, all right. Ready?
All right, and I want you to do things that you do with your dad, all right?
All right, answer me this.
All right, fuck this.
All right, give me a hand.
All right, guys, put invitations on my desk.
All right, here you go. Nice grip.
All right, one more.
All right, shut the fuck up.
All right, so she gets agita, whatever that is.
All right, so she gets that and she needs her space
All right, so you're gonna make your own invitations.
All right?
All right? Got that?
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All those assholes are now characters.
Also, the Gatsby thing, you know?
Always take philosophy, okay?
And after college at Harvard or Yale!
And after failing to pay our rent for five months,
And an occasional nervous breakdown.
And bring the kid in here and you're traumatizing him.
And do you know why?
And don't play sports.
And fixed it up for all you little assholes.
And Harry S Truman did not use a dot after his...
And he's doing this he's farting and saying he didn't do it,
And her time and all that, right?
And I say you got it.
And I talk to them about canceling their whole life and getting term,
And I will pick you up at your grandfather's at30.
And I work at a family business.
And I'm gonna always tell you the truth.
And I'm sitting here with somebody who actually is a psychologist
And I'm so down here.
And I'm telling you, JR, I promise you, whether you write at The Times,
And if it's gonna have any structure...
And if they don't, you get the fuck out of there.
And in his case, this was 20 years ago.
And is going to have it out.
And it becomes very obvious very fast.
And just my luck, publishing was headed toward memoir.
And one of the things she always loved to do was ride around
And over all these years,
And said he put a contract on my mother's life.
And she's a secretary.
And so are his friends legally men.
And sometimes that's all there is.
And spend all their money and throw back
And tell her that you've improved your position,
And that is why you
And that semester just flew by for both of us.
And that was it dumped in Connecticut.
And that was it.
And that's why he lives at home.
And the continual questions about it have left him without identity.
And The Exorcist scared the fuck out of me, by the way.
And The Times uses them anyway.
And then I loaned the guy 30 bucks, which...
And they're gonna be opening for The Who for three days
And this is great.
And watch Don't Look Now with Donald Sutherland.
And we're gonna make invitations.
And were descended from the lucky.
And when my byline appears every day.
And when you're 11 years old, you want an Uncle Charlie.
And wonder what life must be like in them.
And write me a ten page paper.
And yet you all end up back here.
And you can enjoy a cocktail with your old man.
And you cast it in this very negative light
And you come from a long line of fuckups.
And you know what might happen?
And you rip his fucking lungs out.
And you sit there looking for errors in baseline perception.
And you still won't have the background Sidney's looking for
And you take care of, if you have one, your woman.
And you'll be mainly blossoming as a barfly.
And you'll be registered to win $500.
And you'll find in life that most of them are not.
And you're gonna read to them from your schoolwork,
And, above all, delusion,
And, uh, how's your mother?
And, uh, I've been here and there...
And... probably not gonna get a whole lot better,
And... you made the list.
Any questions? Yes.
Anything else?
Anyway, long story short, I picked Venice.
Anywhere is the same as prison.
Apricots.
Aquinas.
Are you any good at writing?
Are you in psychotherapy? I should think you would be.
Are you in search for your father?
Are you reading this paper?
Aristotle. I think.
As for you, keep listening to the radio.
As God is my witness,
As if you would always know your father instantly.
As kidnapping comes with responsibilities.
As you know, the editors have had a chance
As you make your way through the text.
At Grandpa's, like everybody.
At Kathy's.
At least that's my experience.
At Madison Square Garden, starting...
Aw, you must be the apple of your mother's eye.
Aw.
Back 'em up on me, too, Charlie.
Be a full house.
Be a good son.
Be good to your mother.
Be nice to her.
Because everything I see is unattainable.
Because he's a selfish old prick who resents taking care of his family.
Because she didn't have a good son.
Because she's dumped you like nine times.
Because she's getting married on Memorial Day.
Because that will take away all the power and the majesty
Before you realize that that doesn't mean anything, either.
Being somebody.
Besides being a lawyer and suing my father.
Bet you write like nuns fuck.
Brothers are partners.
Bucolic. Fulcrum. Inimical.
But above all, it's where Uncle Charlie lived.
But here is this the furniture is held together with duct tape,
But I cannot figure out what the fuck they are saying in Henry V.
But I loved it.
But I never let you win.
But I think Yale mostly took care of her anxieties.
But I wondered if it was like a thing you would always know,
But I'm wondering if this is JR.
But I've only seen him a couple of times.
But in America, have a car.
But in Paradise Lost.
But it is not easy.
But it took place in Venice.
But men get really fucked up.
But that didn't mean some dime store fifth grade shrink could go toe to toe.
But the Mets drink at The Dickens.
But then they blame you for dispensing it once they get it.
But there was something about her, something different,
But Uncle Charlie thought this was a less serious threat,
But we have to be conscious of the trend, right?
But you commit. You make a decision.
But you got to have a drink your drink.
But you have a relationship.
But you're a writer the minute you say you are.
But, um, the end result is
But... big decision, Chief.
Calm down. I didn't say you were good.
Came on the train didn't have a car.
Can I just not come to the breakfast?
Can people read those books?
Can they read...
Can you fucking come to me with this shit, please?
Can't have any kind of fucking rapprochements
Change a tire, jump a car, take care of your mother, don't drink your stashies.
Charles Dickens. You know who that is?
Charlie, back 'em up on me.
Charlie!
Chaz says you're insecure at Yale.
College ain't for everybody.
Come here. Come with me.
Come on, Chaz, back 'em up on me.
Come on, get it by him. Get it by him.
Come on.
Comes into the bar.
Dad owns the firm.
Dad?
Deal with it.
Depending on the economy.
Did you go and...
DJ (over radio): There's your Golden Earring,
Do I remind you of him?
Do not tell her you want her back. Did you say that?
Do puzzles, you don't get Alzheimer's.
Do very well in school.
Do well in school, and you get to see Italy.
Do well in school.
Do you have plans in your head to make something of yourself,
Do you want some water?
Do you want to meet Brian?
Do you?
Doesn't mean he's gonna show up.
Doesn't stand for anything. His name is JR.
Don't accept it.
Don't be like one of these assholes here who acts like
Don't be trying to be a fucking tough guy, all right?
Don't carry your money like a drunk. Oh, and, uh...
Don't come back!
Don't look at me like that.
Don't look for your father to save you.
Don't say I never gave you nothing.
Don't tell anybody I'm a good grandfather.
Don't they know the way the world is today?
Double Scotch, whatever the well is,
Edited and translated by me.
EE Cummings uh, no, uh, periods.
Even if she stabs you with scissors.
Ever since I was a kid, I've just...
Every great writer, every great book.
Every time you walk in the door forever.
Everybody alive is lucky
Everybody needs to know the cesspool isn't taking it.
Falling in love is a blessing. Try to enjoy it.
Fastball is in there for a strike, and it's two and two.
Fasten your fucking seat belt.
Father based?
Fill yourself up.
First movie was The Exorcist.
First thing he did when he got out of the hospital was light a cigarette.
Five.
For being a shitty father, I'll give you the first shot.
For nonpayment of child support,
For the time being, in this class, though I beat against barbarous current,
Four gin martinis, up with a twist.
Fregosi is the hitter facing the right hander Jenkins.
From that moment on, I wanted to be a writer.
Fuck you, Charlie.
Fuck you, you stupid son of a bitch. Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Fuck you! Learn how to fucking drive, you twat.
Fuck you.
Fuck you. First one is mine.
Geez, Mom.
Get one.
Get that before your grandmother does.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get your drink. You get your butts.
Girls become wives and mothers. That was his point of view.
Give me my 30 bucks or get the fuck out of the car.
Give me the fucking phone.
Go and sweep her away?
Go around to the bar. Get me a pack of cigarettes.
Go get a ball.
Go.
Goddamn, you look like you had some kind of a breakthrough.
Good day with the kid?
Good night, JR.
Good night.
Good to see you, young man.
Good. Be out of here in a few days.
Goodness. Evidently, tonight, you guys are backed up on Chief and Joey D.
Got it.
Got your pack of butts, right?
GRANDPA (singing along):
Grandpa needs a pack of Old Golds.
Grandpa resents taking care of his family.
Grandpa.
Great. Thank you.
Handily contained for you in one book,
Handmade invitations for the father and son breakfast.
Have you applied to newspapers?
Have you ever been there?
Haven't got any.
He also threatened to kidnap me,
He has dubiety about his identity, possibly.
He has no identity, which causes rage.
He knows Greek and Latin.
He played Top 40 hits, and he'd talk about the musicians.
He runs a bar.
He said to be ready at 30.
He shows up.
He was always on the radio, in New York.
He was Johnny Ace or Johnny Michaels on the radio.
He was right, of course.
He was self taught.
He's a prodigy, that kid.
He's in North Carolina doing a talk show.
He's just a guy on the radio.
He's just an asshole who happens to be on the radio.
He's not in the radio.
He's not my father.
He's on the radio.
He's the likeliest to be able to leave my house
He's throwing down.
Heard it here first.
Hello?
Hello?
Help me pitch?
Here comes the pitch.
Here it is.
Here we go.
Here you go, kid.
Here you go.
Here.
Here's the thing.
Hey, asshole.
Hey, Bobo, get me a size 13, will you?
Hey, Charlie, back him up on me.
Hey, Charlie. How's it hanging?
Hey, Dad.
Hey, don't be a fucking... You know what?
Hey, get that kid a drink on me.
Hey, I got an announcement.
Hey, I'm glad you made it.
Hey, now, eat your cereal.
Hey, uh...
Hey, your mom tells me you listen to your old man on the radio a lot.
Hey!
Hey! (clears throat)
Hey! The fuck are you guys doing here?
Hey.
Hey. He's looking for you.
Hey. JR.
Hey. Whose kid is that?
Hi, honey.
Hi, sir.
Hi.
His mother's a secretary. She's busy. She's not here, so I came.
Hiya.
Hmm. I never thought about it like that.
Hmm. Okay.
Hmm...
Hold on a sec. Let me get those.
Home never meant the same thing to my mother as it did to me.
How are you supposed to be a student at Yale?
How are you? He wants to know.
How did you get sick?
How do you get to go places?
How how was the party?
How is your Uncle Charlie?
How long were you in Vietnam?
How sure are you about your identity? Hmm?
How would you like to see a ball game with your old man?
How?
How's your mom doing with the cancer?
However, if it is a memoir,
However, the Church is on her last legs.
Huh? What?
I already did.
I also don't want to talk to you about all those.
I also like to read.
I always love to see you on this train.
I am gonna be late!
I am.
I am. I am gonna die.
I can enjoy a cocktail.
I can't explain it, really, why I kept going back.
I cannot offer you a position as a reporter.
I cooked a chicken, got some vegetables.
I could use a little help in here.
I couldn't have picked him out of a crowd.
I didn't do that.
I didn't know what he looked like.
I didn't need Sidney.
I don't even have any shit to get together.
I don't have a father complex.
I don't have a father.
I don't have more.
I don't know what it is, but if you don't have it immediately...
I don't know where Alex is.
I don't know, my feet are getting bigger, apparently.
I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe.
I don't like male jewelry, but I thought,
I don't see much of him.
I don't think I told you over the phone
I don't think you should dwell on it.
I don't want to be a junior.
I don't want to have the same name.
I doubt it.
I fear that sometimes the question is too little asked.
I get to go bowling 'cause I did the Wordy Gurdy.
I go fucking bowling every fucking Wednesday! Fuck you!
I got a great job.
I got into Yale to be a lawyer.
I got to go.
I got you, uh, something.
I guess you think you're a man now, huh?
I had four, but Mrs. Cafferty took a fall
I had to sneak, 'cause after he left us,
I hadn't been to New York City to see his face on billboards and buses.
I have stuff in the Yale paper.
I have yet to see since.
I hope so, 'cause she's sad.
I I I didn't make it, as you know.
I just don't have one.
I just don't want a relationship.
I knew that my first great love probably wouldn't be my last.
I know a lot of guys that think they're writers,
I like it.
I like to read.
I live with him.
I love that.
I love to read everything I could get my hands on.
I love you anyway.
I make an excellent gin martini.
I make the rules.
I mean, I can do Wordy Gurdy all day long,
I mean, I I know you think this is supposed to change everything, but...
I mean, I just failed an English exam, but a house is a dwelling
I mean, I just feel like Sidney's so up here
I mean, I'm good at sports, too, but...
I mean, the set of pipes.
I mean, what can't she go to?
I mean, what do you study at Yale?
I mean...
I mean... no.
I need to go to Sidney's for Christmas.
I never gambled. That was my problem.
I only met him once, and I was pretty young,
I promise.
I quit drinking.
I remember you.
I said shut the fuck up!
I said you can ride the fucking bike.
I said, you know, you could be.
I saw you in the yard playing sports.
I still teach Western literature,
I swear to God, I have no idea how
I think a Yale man should drink gin myself,
I think I should take you to the train.
I think I'm okay.
I think I'm seeing someone else.
I think I've always studied people.
I think she's been paddling both of ours for a very long time.
I think The Times is probably out of my league.
I think you should go back to sleep, wake up in 20 years,
I thought you were gonna be a writer.
I told her not a dime.
I want to back up Bobo.
I want to be a writer.
I want you to succeed.
I was dumb.
I was expecting a kind of Brideshead Revisited thing.
I was gonna hold on to it for a minute, but I'll give it to you now.
I was kind of into the "clean break" idea.
I was ready at30 so as not to fuck up.
I was trying to fucking help you pitch.
I was young.
I wasn't naive.
I will have a job writing a novel.
I will.
I won't get in.
I wonder,
I would really like to meet your Uncle Charlie.
I... I got an interview at Yale.
I... To be honest, I'm not 100% sure we should go memoir.
I'd really like for you to meet my Uncle Charlie.
I'd spend the next two years just focusing on making something of myself.
I'll get a couple tickets. (clears throat)
I'll see you back at the house.
I'll see you downstairs.
I'll see you on the flip side.
I'll take care of you.
I'll take that as a compliment.
I'll tell you when I know you better.
I'll walk you.
I'm a broadcast professional.
I'm a writer.
I'm a... I'm a copyboy.
I'm allowing myself a cocktail from time to time.
I'm at the bar a lot.
I'm calling for you.
I'm curious because you seem very interested
I'm feeling weird.
I'm getting agita.
I'm going to be a writer.
I'm going to Manhattan.
I'm gonna be a novelist.
I'm good at school.
I'm I'm not here. Whoever...
I'm just a poor boy who wants a rich girl.
I'm just here on a lucky break. It's just a lucky break.
I'm letting myself have a cocktail from time to time.
I'm Lucky Sperm Club, and no one's ever noticed that I'm an idiot.
I'm named after my father.
I'm never gonna let you win, ever.
I'm never gonna train you out of it, am I?
I'm not going to law school.
I'm not sick.
I'm not the maid.
I'm seeing someone.
I'm sorry I brought you for Christmas.
I'm sorry. You don't have to be such a dick about it.
I'm still short 30 bucks.
I'm working on my novel.
I'm worried about you.
I'm writing fiction, I think.
I've done some research,
I've heard it from someone else.
If she loved you, she'd take you poor.
If someone abandons you, what does that tell you?
If you also have a car.
If you didn't believe his concrete proof, the Church would cut your nuts off.
If you drink, you keep your shit together.
If you get your heart broken, you'll live.
If you go to Yale but you don't have any balls,
If you have a father complex, it's kind of a red flag.
If you read enough books, maybe, if you're lucky,
If you take a leak, take it outside.
If your shit's not together, you don't drink.
Important thing is you never, ever drink that money, right?
In a house with her parents, who are both kind of nuts.
In fact, fuck Sidney.
In his father and his absence,
In my official capacity, I have to say, is the only thing
In order to hit on his mother?
In retrospect, what you do next is gonna be important.
In the purple.
In the text, it declares you officially a lawyer.
In the Yale class of 1986."
In which everything derives from two epic poems,
Incidentally, where is the old man?
Infield playing in.
Insurance is taken.
Is agita the root of agitation?
Is that good?
Is that Uncle Charlie?
Is the desire to see the face of God the Father.
Is there trauma?
Is this for Sidney?
Is this seat taken?
Is, you know, "Fonda's Hondas."
It is my belief that the uncertainty about the meaning of his name
It makes Mom sad having to keep going to Grandpa's house.
It may be possible to kill me,
It means the people who think they're rich.
It might be malignant, hmm?
It was 1973,
It was about this same period that he called up drunk
It was for Mom, but you got her pregnant.
It was Jesus who came down and made him late for work
It was possible.
It was time.
It's a complicated thing.
It's a hospitality business.
It's a house bike. I took that bike out of the dump
It's a man's car.
It's a puzzle.
It's a signal that you're reaching the end.
It's a Yale ring.
It's all good.
It's also luck. Everybody's lucky.
It's America. Pick something.
It's better than not gambling.
It's Christmas in Connecticut, with a Volvo.
It's either all in or nothing.
It's for you.
It's gonna cost $11,000.
It's hard to know where to begin.
It's hard to tell people about your father, JR, because...
It's in Westhampton. I got a desk.
It's just not romantic or sexual.
It's not correct.
It's not for you to help me pitch.
It's not gonna fucking kill anybody.
It's not his fucking bike anyway.
It's not my place to judge what she's looking for, but...
It's not the worst thing if the man puts the woman on a slight pedestal.
It's our first night at Yale.
It's people. I like to have people.
It's Saturday morning.
It's the foundation of English law. You should know it.
It's time. Wesley has a place.
It's very complicated.
It's Yiddish for "nerves."
It's your bike anyway.
It's your mom.
It's... my life's been hell.
Italy. Jesus, Venice. You ever been to Venice?
Jenkins sets, looks in and delivers.
Jesuitical.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ.
Jesus, fuck.
Jesus. (laughs)
Jesus. How old were you?
Jimmy, Jim.
Jimmy? Jim's good.
JR those are his initials?
JR got a job at The Times.
JR is a writer.
JR, come in.
JR, open it!
JR, say hi to your father.
JR, this girl has abandoned you how many times?
Junior, JR.
Junior.
Just not romantic or sexual.
Kid, I'm just trying to keep you out of the ruling classes. That's all.
Know what I mean?
Know what you also do?
Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome
Laid your line of bullshit on the subject to him right to his face.
Leave some for Charlie. Your grandpa already ate. I love you.
Let me show you something, okay?
Let me tell Brian that.
Let me tell you something.
Let's get fucked up.
Let's go back and get graduated.
Let's go.
Life's hard enough without puzzles.
Lighten up on your drinking.
Like Dad?
Like everything is...
Like, uh... "Jane's vehicles"
Limited edition brass belt buckle,
Listen to me. Your mom is gonna be okay.
Locked in a downward spiral since the Carter administration.
Look who it is. Sit down there.
Look, I'm not a genius. It's an obvious question.
Looking at houses like this one
Lose the drawings. Just get rid of 'em.
Lot of people do. (chuckles)
Luck, asshole it's why we're all here.
Lucky bastard.
Ma, I have to ask you something.
Make up for your disappointments?
Mama shellacs 'em and puts 'em up.
Man, you can't shut your daddy up.
Many.
Marches to his own drummer, but that's what I like about him.
Maybe in the future of transportation
Maybe the police can make him go?
Maybe this is a weird time for me to tell you that I'm not a psychologist.
Maybe you can tell me what this is all about.
Maybe you forgot.
Maybe you said that.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe... maybe this is the point where
Mets or Yankees?
Mets play the Braves tomorrow night.
Mine.
Minion. Eclectic.
Mmm.
Mom can use some money.
Mom says he might have lost his mind.
Mom wants me to.
Morning, sport.
Most illogical city I have ever seen in my life.
MRS. I understand you have an absconded father
My brother had a hard on for Julie Christie.
My congratulations on your fine work.
My father was a radio DJ in New York.
My Iliad is just getting better and better as the evening progresses.
My mom and I had to move back home to my grandpa's house.
My old man said, "Pick a city."
My old man's in a radio.
My senior year was gonna be epic.
My sister's.
Nah, it's "Junior."
Nah. No.
Needed to believe there was a God, so he offered the world concrete proof.
Neither am I.
Neither of us know how.
Never keep somebody away from their cigarettes.
Never mind.
Never order a well Scotch.
Never order it neat.
Never under any circumstances hit a woman,
Nice to meet you.
No chemo, no radiation.
No fruit. Okay.
No money, no idea what it is I want to do.
No psychotherapy, no.
No, he's my Uncle Charlie.
No, honey.
No, I mean, can I read them?
No, I think so.
No, it's "Junior."
No, let JR open it.
No, right, but on what subject?
No, so he can help you with your fines about the septic tank.
No, you have so much to offer her.
No, you're not. You're a copyboy.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. Men who want things are.
No. Thank you.
Nobody gives you a diploma.
None.
Not because Homer makes you think you suck.
Not in my Yale essay.
Not in your own worst impulses
Not one bit of it makes any sense.
Not yet.
Nothing in my mom's life came easy.
Nothing is face value, and you're the smartest guy in the room,
Now I can tell her.
Now they're moving to Colorado.
Now, as some of you hopefully may know,
Now, I don't want to talk to you unless you read all those.
Now, I know there are a lot of rug rats running around,
Now, tell me, when was the last time you made a good confession?
Now, what you do is you read all of those.
Of her finding this out for herself.
Of Satan.
Of you and everything else, and that is why you can't write.
Oh, come here and give your old man a hug.
Oh, come on, don't fuck with me.
Oh, for fuck's sake. Give it to me.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, here we go.
Oh, I knew it! I knew it.
Oh, I love scones, sir.
Oh, it's 60 grand.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no, I'm promoted when I become a full fledged reporter
Oh, one more thing very important.
Oh, that's it kid's earned his stripes.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah. We all have our jobs.
Oh, you're backed up on Bobo.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh. Did he pass on?
Oh. I knew it.
Oh. No, he's not dead.
Oh. No, thank you.
Oh. Well, what does JR stand for?
Okay, so what are you doing?
Okay, that's enough.
Okay, two rules.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. You sure you're all right?
Old Hammerhead with vanilla Coke for 30 years.
On his own abilities. Hmm?
On that day, driving to Manhattan
Once you understand that, you can operate in America.
Once.
One swinging dick to another. I'll give you that one.
One year, seven months, five days.
Open it.
Or among your friends
Or in Holland or whatever, things are different,
Or it's the contraction for "junior."
Orders a well Scotch neat.
Other than an emotional mess.
Our ancestors were all either fast, smart
Our educational system, and indeed
Our society as a whole,
Ovid's Metamorphos...
People have been saying that. Yeah.
Perceptive about what?
Period.
Phil, you ever fucked in a Volvo?
Platitude. Duplicity. Sanctimonious."
Please do.
Poor old guy's probably climbing the walls.
Probably lower upper middle class.
Probably not.
Provisional. Strident.
Publishing is going more towards memoir.
Publishing is heading towards memoir.
Pure gold.
Putting the rest into an IRA that builds tax free.
Quang Tri, '67 to '69.
Read Orwell on the lower upper middle classes.
Really?
Regardless of the system in place,
Remember me?
Right now.
Right?
Right?
Right.
Ruthie's back there, too.
Saturday morning, we're gonna cook them breakfast,
Saying "apricots" for no reason.
See how he's putting his money in his pocket like that?
See that? Look at... look at this guy right there.
See this? This little compartment in your wallet, right?
See ya.
See you soon, Junior.
See, I realized that, um, I'm not an alcoholic, so...
See, the thing about women...
Seeking rapprochements with your mother.
Seems like your mother's got you paddling hers a little bit.
Selling insurance.
She blame me?
She dwells in Manhasset,
She just had my number.
She just needs time, you know?
She says I listen too much or try to find you.
She sounds like a very intelligent woman, if a trifle optimistic.
She taught me about love,
She was trying to see if you had your shit together.
She wasn't that bad.
She's a lucky girl.
She's clever. She's perceptive.
She's good.
She's lower upper middle.
She's not really rich.
She's really tired after work.
She's the new poontang. (chuckles)
She's the one with the most invested.
SIDNEY (laughs): We can be friends.
Sidney tells me you're both architects.
Sidney will still never call you out of the blue to get you back.
Sidney!
Sidney.
SIDNEY' Do you like scones, JR?
Since the Musketeers actually did this together...
Since you can call him Phil, I suppose you can call me Mrs. Lawson.
Size 12?
Smaller newspaper, perhaps, you know?
So both you assholes just graduated?
So do not write to her
So everybody gets to know each other better.
So how'd you end up in Venice?
So I have a question for you.
So it might be wise for you, in order to avoid tears and disappointment
So let's say... let's say you closed the circle with one parent, right?
So take note of these and other examples of its use
So they cut it out, along with her thyroid.
So when I could, I'd sneak away and listen to him on the radio.
So you can be independent, and then somebody might want you.
So you can sue your father for child support.
So you got promoted?
So you think you're in love?
So you went to war?
So you're willing to traumatize a little kid
So, how many pages do you have?
So, how much do they get for a Yale education these days?
So, my brother used to make me go with him
So, my parents...
So, Sidney saw you in your reduced condition.
So, this thing about the radio.
So, uh, how's your Iliad?
So, what are you doing?
So, what do you want to be, JR?
So, what does JR stand for?
So, without further ado, let's bring them in.
So, Yale interview?
So, your first byline presents a, uh, problem.
So... (sighs)
Socrates says you learn more from a bad book than a good one.
Some editors voice support, some do not.
Some of them are happy, probably.
Some people build houses. We build dwellings.
Somebody Sidney would want back.
Somebody who's not *******.
Someplace where you can, uh, learn and grow.
Something that gave me hope.
Something's wrong with my brain today.
Sometimes they don't think about the cause and effect of things.
Sooner or later, it's gonna...
Sorry about your father.
Sorry to make you wait.
Sounds easier than it was.
Speaking of old dogs...
Spent all of last summer in Europe.
Standard pattern, obvious to all.
Stare up at the building, like, in the rain and shit?
Stashies in my wallet, Uncle Charlie's car
Still got the clap, asshole?
Stinky.
Studied hard. I got good grades.
Sure, how else do you think people become priests?
Surprisingly. (chuckles)
Symbolically, you just married your mother.
Take 'em in the poker room. Read 'em all.
Take care.
Talk a lot of shit and believe anything.
Talk to your father?
Teach you how to change a tire, jump a car.
Tell everybody how good you could've been.
Tell him the Mets play the Braves tomorrow night.
Tell your cousin
Tell your mother not to spend that all in one place.
Thank you for taking me.
Thank you, Michael, Stephen.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thanks for making the trip.
That everything?
That goes there.
That goes there.
That he's a junior because there is no senior in his life.
That I was letting myself have a cocktail from time to time, huh?
That may never have occurred to him until you just
That movie made a man out of me.
That sounds appealing.
That would be pathological, JR.
That you couldn't do, and make you feel like shit,
That's a relief.
That's all I have to say.
That's because you're probably being a pussy.
That's been done.
That's how most jobs work.
That's it. Male sciences. Right.
That's keeping your money like a drunk.
That's like a hundred bucks, five, whatever,
That's Pablo Cruise with "Love Will Find a Way"...
That's right, buddy, if this is JR...
That's right.
That's the first thing I had to do.
That's the management.
That's the moment I knew I was a writer.
That's the thing to remember about a kid.
That's Tom Seaver's autograph right there.
That's true.
That's what he did with going to college.
That's what I think.
That's where you keep your stashies.
That's why I'm going to the interview.
The "poyims" 3,000 years old...
The absent father. You know that one?
The actual rich, you never see.
The biopsy proved the tumor was malignant,
The boy won't tell me what his name stands for.
The cab is a boat. The garbage truck is a boat.
The Dickens.
The editors feel they need to see more before they make a decision.
The feeling is that you lack, uh, experience, you know?
The first half of the Iliad.
The first half of the Iliad.
The fuck you telling the kid that for?
The game is five card stud.
The Iliad and the Odyssey are the two seedlings,
The Iliad and the Odyssey are universal.
The Iliad and the Odyssey,
The Iliad is an ancient Greek epic poem in dactylic hexameter...
The kid always thinks he fucked up.
The magazine called Dwellings.
The party started a long time before I met you.
The secret is a few drops of Scotch.
The thing is, that day, I felt like I had.
The Voice fled the state.
Then how are you supposed to become a writer?
Then you guys are backed up on Joey D.
There wasn't a thing Sidney wouldn't do or try.
There's no periods after a last name.
There's some lasagna in the fridge.
There's there's... there's something.
They already heard you.
They also run the magazine Dwellings.
They are stories about going home.
They called him The Voice.
They give you a book with a list of phone numbers and addresses,
They give you this half assed clue, and the answers rhyme.
They hide so people won't kill them.
They just cut it out, and the cancer was gone.
They pay you a base salary, and then you get a percentage of what you sell.
They said it was minor.
They want freedom,
They want to meet you.
They'll all say that you never had a chance.
They're not called dots.
They're the ones who really suck.
Thinking things are more than what they are.
This incident itself is dramatic.
This is batting practice, okay?
This is bullshit.
This is great, JR.
This is me.
This is my son, JR.
This is Saturday morning in the life of men.
This is the male sciences, all right?
This is The Voice at 97.1 on your dial.
This is the way it is.
This is when you bet it all.
This is when you push.
This is your thing?
This one's bullshit. "Richard's ingredients"?
This seat taken?
This was gonna be my year.
Though most of them are about, uh, people in bars on Long Island, uh...
Though you will, in each case
Three people come to my mass.
Three weeks turns into three months.
Three, shut the fuck up.
Times style is Times style, and you are J period R period Maguire.
To carefully review your work, and, um, it's terrific.
To concentrate on in this world
To her, it meant failure, the place you ended up
To me, Grandpa's house was a revolving door of cousins and aunts,
To see who loses their spot in the bowling league.
To the Yale class of 1986.
Today, my nephew is officially a man.
Today, we're gonna take a break from our studies,
Too late, Chief. Too late.
Train me out of what?
Truly, some of your pieces have been outstanding.
Turn it over.
Uh, a paper on what?
Uh, all right, well, I'm on the air in 15 and change.
Uh, as I get older...
Uh, but I did want to tell you that, uh...
Uh, i initials cannot be used without periods.
Uh, I was worried.
Uh, no... no surprise there.
Uh, rocks, splash of water, no fruit.
Uh, someone said he was having, uh, tantrums.
Uh, well, I'm not sure.
Uh, yeah. (chuckles)
Uh...
Um, as you know, um,
Um, not great.
Um, that's why I wish I had better news.
Um, that's...
Uncle Charlie never had the money to go to college.
Uncle Charlie says the Yankees are assholes,
Uncle Charlie says to go all in.
Uncle Charlie's a gambler.
Unfortunately, his mother doesn't have a nickel.
Unless it's a cave, and a dwelling is a house...
Unless you can take me.
Unless you want me to think it.
Usual fucking bullshit. My mother wants me to be a lawyer.
Very impressive. No identity, hence identity crisis.
Very pleased to meet you, JR.
Very slight.
Walking home.
Was destroyed in the 19th century by the German influence.
Was Yale out of your league?
We all go to Grandpa's.
We all like your clips from New Haven.
We both know you're calling his mother up and asking her out on dates.
We can handle that. We can handle anything.
We don't want ya.
We got a lot to catch up on, you and me.
We're all here on a lucky break, douchebag.
We're going home.
We're going home. Again.
We're gonna go, uh, have dinner.
We're the Two Musketeers, right?
Well, because I'm not a psychologist
Well, for the past year year and a half, frankly
Well, hey, it's the same as prison.
Well, I don't even know what to have.
Well, I see y'all started the party without me.
Well, I think your grandfather is a good man.
Well, I will tell you what, sport.
Well, I'm not calling for your mother, kiddo.
Well, if you're gonna be a writer, you got to get a job.
Well, if you're made to read the greatest things ever written,
Well, it's kind of a last straw kind of thing, you know?
Well, let's just say Mom took a pair of scissors to every picture he was in.
Well, there's a very big difference if it is being concealed from him
Well, there's that, too. Sometimes your own drummer is a bad idea.
Well, they didn't offer me that position.
Well, we're hungry now.
Well, we're seniors.
Well, welcome to our shores, Jim.
Well, what's your main theme? Since it isn't really that one.
Well, when you suck at writing, that's when you become a journalist.
Well, why don't you take him, you son of a bitch?
Well, you know he's gonna be back in here saying weird shit. Here you go.
Well, you never see the real rich. They're invisible.
Well, you want to get in.
Wesley, you were a full ticket guy?
What about Dad?
What about that one?
What about The Voice?
What about these rejects?
What are you doing hanging out with these bums?
What are you gonna do without the bad guy in your life?
What are you gonna do?
What are you reading this weekend?
What are you, fucking inert?
What are you, soft?
What did I tell you about the male sciences?
What do I want? I want to be a writer, but I suck.
What do you do with these after you're done?
What do you need me to do?
What do you need?
What do you say? The top ten.
What do you study?
What do you want from me?
What does your mother do, JR?
What else? Hold doors.
What fucking difference does it make?
What if I can't?
What is it, JR?
What kind of fucking day could you possibly have had?
What law schools are you looking at?
What time do you want to eat?
What was the fucking problem?
What year... was the Magna Carta signed?
What, are you fucking stupid? You want to die?
What, she's rich?
What?
What?
What?
What? That's not why I want you to be a lawyer.
What? Thomas Aquinas.
What's a "poyim"?
What's all your stuff doing here?
What's for supper?
What's going on? What's up?
What's he do?
What's that line about old dogs and new tricks?
What's the difference except the word?
What's the JR stand for?
What's the name of this place?
What's Wordy Gurdy?
What's your main trouble?
Whatever you assholes choose now is what I'm gonna pour
Whatever you like.
When all the things she was counting on fell through.
When the committee meets to consider a trainee,
When you got nothing.
When you set out to be a lawyer, you go to law school.
When you were looking for me on the radio dial.
Where are you working now?
Where we going?
Where you gonna live?
Where you headed?
Where'd you learn that word?
Where's this fucking chicken?
Where's your phone?
Whether you write this book,
Which is that women decide if they want something or if they don't,
Which sister? The hot one or the crazy one?
Who earns 30 bucks a day.
Who maybe knows I'm not a psychologist.
Who needs a scissor? Who needs, like, a colored pencil or something?
Who was the guy pitched a no hitter on acid?
Who's nothing more to you than a voice on the radio.
Who's Richard? Nixon?
Whoa.
Why a writer?
Why do you say that?
Why does Grandpa say we should all clear out?
Why don't you come and meet him?
Why not? Why not?
Why won't Sidney ever call me, genius who knows everything?
Why?
Why'd you marry him?
With a full complement of laughter and tears
With any kind of chick if you don't have a fucking car.
With love and understanding, that is why I have no education,
With your grandfather's money?
Women with father complexes tend to eat a lot,
Wordy Gurdy has me stumped.
Work, apartment, boyfriend, not always in that order.
Would you like it if I was at The Times?
Writing for the paper, working at the bar.
Yeah, because it does. It's The New York fucking Times.
Yeah, but isn't this gambling?
Yeah, he's wealthy.
Yeah, hope so.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, I think you're missing a central fact,
Yeah, I'm fine.
Yeah, if if you do very well in school...
Yeah, pretty much. (chuckles softly)
Yeah, she does.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah, this isn't home.
Yeah, well, your uncle is talking about gambling,
Yeah, you can come with me.
Yeah, you know, it's all she ever wanted.
Yeah, you think The Times means something.
Yeah?
Yeah? Who says?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. How's yours?
Yeah. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I'm not sure what that is yet.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. You look perfect.
Yes or no?
Yes, well, we all have to paddle our own canoe, JR.
Yes, you can read 'em. You can read as many as you like.
Yes, you will.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Can I tell him who's calling?
You always do well in that class, 'cause there's no right answer.
You always remember fucking up, so you don't want to.
You are a stingy, crazy, old bastard.
You are going to Harvard or Yale.
You are going to Harvard or Yale.
You are going to law school.
You are going to Yale.
You are not stingy with money.
You beat me, you know you beat me fair and square,
You can have any name you want.
You can inflate this.
You can take fucking Drano. You know what I'm saying?
You can't shut me up.
You can't win if you don't play.
You contacted The New York Times?
You could become a writer.
You didn't just come down here to come here.
You do see a pattern, right?
You do that.
You don't have a fucking dime.
You don't look like a lawyer.
You don't wanna.
You ever fucked in a Volvo?
You fucking call it a day or run for president, and that's it.
You gentlemen ready to order?
You get a diploma for your effort.
You get your drink.
You gonna get my cigarettes?
You got a byline in The New York Times.
You got nothing. Come on, Chaz.
You got to be able to do without people, and they got to know it.
You got to be fucking kidding me.
You got to have "it."
You guys never gave me a car.
You have fun.
You have to have a job.
You have to prove it, at least to yourself.
You have yours. Knock yourself out.
You kidding me?
You know I got it from your sister.
You know this.
You know what I'm saying? It's about being a man.
You know what, I'm gonna call your mother.
You know, find some other activities that you like.
You know, I got a feeling that, uh, you had a reason to come down here.
You know, I think you think I want something that I'm not thinking.
You know, I'd say she's all right.
You know, like, uh, what do you like to do the most?
You know, like...
You know, Phil, I study people.
You know, that's it.
You know, Uncle Charlie is, like, your old man, basically.
You know, when the mood strikes me,
You know, you really had me going.
You know, you're becoming like your mother about Yale.
You like living at your grandfather's house?
You little fuckers will never know such things.
You little punk.
You may be a beneficiary of this system.
You mind if your mama believes in you?
You must be young JR.
You need to find the main guy, who's a problem,
You okay?
You old enough to drive this thing?
You out sucking cock to pay for your goddamn chicken?
You pass the bar.
You see, you're believing in society's bullshit interpretation
You shit or wind your watch.
You sure there's gas in it?
You sure this looks okay?
You take care of your mother.
You tell me something really important.
You think your father is in the radio.
You two look so handsome.
You understand?
You want to be a disc jockey when you grow up?
You want to know what I think?
You want to see more?
You want to study together tomorrow?
You want to take me on?
You weren't trying to shut me up
You will be making the acquaintance
You will start by reading half the Iliad
You, of all people.
You're gonna bring 'em home to your fathers after school.
You're gonna look for your father in the radio.
You're in my class.
You're not gonna believe it.
You're not gonna see, uh, Pat again, all right?
You're not very good.
You're set.
You've told me, yes, and the stashies in your wallet...
Your aunt, of all people, came through.
Your father came to Manhasset once... (clears throat)
Your father graduated from Dartmouth.
Your father has never taken care of anybody at all.
Your grandfather has a photographic memory.
Your mother has a tumor on her thyroid
Your mother must be thrilled.
Your mother's gonna come to you and try to give you money.
Your mother's settled, you know?
Your old man's in a radio?
Your uncle's girlfriend.
11 months, 12 days.
Ah. She goes out with Stinky. Stinky?
All right, here we go. Come on, come on, Goose.
Better treat her with respect. Steering wheel is on the left.
Dock Ellis. You can take acid,
That's right. At this point, Chief,
...I'm your father. Mom's not here.
"Terrific Gary." "Super Cooper."
(bell jingling) Everybody,
(breath shuddering)
(children laughing)
(crickets chirping) (dog barking in distance)
(door closes)
(door opens) You got your I.D.'s, right?
(engine shuts off) (door opens)
(heavy, indistinct chatter) (typewriter keys clacking)
(keys jingling)
(knocking) There's a call for you.
(laughing): You're a copyboy? I I get sandwiches. I...
(light laughter) No.
(Mom laughs) Police can't make him pay support.
(passes gas) Ah. I didn't do that.
(passes gas) I didn't do that.
(phone rings) New York Times.
(phone rings) New York Times.
(phones ringing) (heavy, indistinct chatter)
(phones ringing) (heavy, indistinct chatter)
(phones ringing) (heavy, indistinct chatter)
(radio clatters) (broadcast cuts out)
(scoffs) Because he is stingy
(scoffs) Because she doesn't love you, man.
(sighs) Mom can't go to something. Oh.
(song stops) (bowling pins crashing)
And away we go. (engine starts)
And for you? I'm fine.
Aw. Thanks, Chief.
Bitch. I see things are going well.
Bobo, you're backed up on the kid. This kid's all right.
Bulwark against tyranny. King John.
But she was checking up on you. Yeah.
But... Women decide.
Bye, now. Bye.
Call me Phil. Thanks, Phil.
Can I come? Nope.
Can we just go to your place? No.
Check the top? Yeah.
Everybody will want one. (laughs)
Exactly. Yes. Here you go.
Fuck you. Fuck you...
Go. Go, go, go, go. (engine starts)
Good luck. (sighs)
Guy thinks he's Elvis Presley, you know? Kid's not a kid.
Harvard or Yale. This from a woman
Have a car. Yeah.
He's gonna have what I'm having. You got it.
Hello? Hey.
Hey, I'm Jimmy. JR.
Hey, Johnny. Hey.
Hey.
Hey. Hi.
Hey. Hmm?
Hi. Hey.
Hi. How are you? Uh, is Stinky in there?
Hi. Are you JR? Yes.
How do I look? You look fantastic.
How's it going? Hey.
I can't open it. I can't open it. Just open it.
I don't even know where he is. The Voice...
I don't give a shit. He doesn't give a shit.
I don't know. I don't fucking know.
I don't. I don't have anything. Hey. Hey, hey, listen.
I got a barbecue meeting with a sponsor. (music stops)
I just need a minute. Okay.
I know, but... When you met, who decided?
I thought you were... You you want one?
I write. A book?
I'm gonna be a lawyer. Jesus. Why?
I'm here. I understand it's a big deal. Do you?
I'm not a fuckup. Yeah, you are.
I'm Wesley. I'm Jimmy.
If you're tricking me, I'll kill you. Read it.
Is that so? Yeah.
It's un fucking believable. (door opens)
Jackie Robinson. No shit.
Jackie Robinson. Really?
JR. JR. What does that stand for?
Just let him... I paid the application fee.
Just open it. Ma, you open it.
Lucky Sperm Club. Lucky Sperm Club.
My Iliad's fine. Yeah?
My mom, she... Your mom wants you happy.
Need a doctor? No.
No, it's not. (door opens)
No, no, it doesn't. Well, what does mean something?
No? No.
No. So you're just a fuckup.
No. That's a call right there.
Oh, no. Great.
Oh! Oh!
Oh. (laughs) (JR chuckles)
Okay, and do you know why? Why?
Okay, go. (door closes)
Okay. Okay.
Okay. Wish me luck.
Open it. I want to open it alone.
Put all your shit in it. I don't have any of that.
Really? Sure. Ball game with your old man.
Remember that? Yeah.
Right? Have a job. Right.
Scram! (laughter)
She did. There you go, numb nuts.
Shut the fuck up. What did you say to me?
Sidney. Hey.
Somebody's got to sell insurance, right? Yeah.
Survey says... 1215.
Swing and a miss! Strike three. (car door closes)
Take it easy, kid. (door opens)
Thank you. Mm hmm.
That is... Right here? Yeah, one... the piece has to go here.
That's it. He's going to Yale, not Rahway.
That's my boy. I don't know what that means.
That's Venice. I know.
The law is fucked! Get these assholes a drink on me.
The moral of the story is... Right, right. The moral of the story is
The owner? (chuckles)
This kid's a prodigy. Gonna have to cut cards
This piece has to go here. Nice.
This taken? JR andNo.
Uh huh, well... Ah, you know, genetics is tough.
Uh oh. (laughs)
Uh, somewhere south. Mm.
Use your glove. (laughter)
Wake the fuck up. (song stops)
We didn't airdrop on Grenada. How long were you in the Army?
What about Human Learning and Memory? (mutters)
What are you gonna do? Come on, Chaz. Come on.
What are you worried about? I don't wanna.
What can I get for you? Um...
What do you want? Wow. Uh...
What? What?
What? It's okay. I don't have lipstick. I mean...
Where are you? (click, dial tone)
Where do you think you're going? It's fucking Wednesday!
Where's my 30 bucks? It's up my ass. Come get it.
Who else is coming? Pat.
Who is that? Who?
Who's he? She.
Whoa. Take it easy. All right, all right, all right.
Wow. Oh, come on. Don't fuck with me.
Yeah, it is. No.
Yeah. He graduated from Yale.
Yeah. Never do that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe.
Yeah. Yeah. You have clips?
Yes, about you. (chuckles)
You are stingy with love. (passes gas)
You became one of them. Oh, shut up, you old turd!
You being careful? Jesus, Mom. Fuck.
You change stations a lot. (chuckles)
You ever been to Westport? No.
You got to be fucking kidding me. Whoa.
You know what, don't touch me! (thudding)
Your clips are good, Mr. Maguire. They are?
Your house cost $7,000. My house cost $7,000.
...falling into place.
...grand style of Western classical poetry.
...if...
...no one...
…top ten songs this week, you'll win a Q97
...you know what you have to do.
...you never get it.
'Cause it looks like we forgot.
'Nam, Second Division.
"Dear Mr. Maguire..."
"I'm also pleased to notify you that your financial need has been met."
"It is a great pleasure to inform you
"Laconic. Edict. Admonish.
"Lower middle upper."
"Nixon's fixin's."
"Passing on" means dead.
"that the Admissions Committee has voted to offer you a place
("50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon playing)
("A Long Time Ago" by Jim Croce playing)
("Dancing in the Moonlight" by King Harvest playing)
("Different Drum" by Stone Poneys playing)
("Do It Again" by Steely Dan playing)
("Dynaflow" by Parish Hall playing)
("Good Time Charlie's Got the Blues" by Danny O'Keefe playing)
("Good Times" by Chic playing)
("I Thought I Was a Child" by Jackson Browne playing)
("It's Your Thing" by The Isley Brothers playing)
("Lonely Girl" by The Expressions playing)
("Love Will Find a Way" by Pablo Cruise playing over radio)
("Magic" by Pilot playing)
("Modern Life" by Devo playing)
("My Opening Farewell" by Jackson Browne playing)
("Rock Your Baby" by George McCrae playing)
("Shotgun" by Jr. Walker & The All Stars playing)
("Turn Back the Hands of Time" by Tyrone Davis playing)
("Two of a Kind" by Bobby Darin & Johnny Mercer playing)
(applause)
(bird cawing)
(birds chirping)
(both chuckle)
(both chuckle)
(both laughing)
(brakes squeaking)
(chatter continues indistinctly)
(chatter stops)
(cheering)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly)
(chuckles softly) Not if I don't have a job.
(chuckles, mutters) What the fuck is this?
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles)
(chuckles) All right.
(chuckles) Oh, you're gonna take him?
(chuckles) Right.
(chuckles) So, Sidney...
(chuckles) That's true.
(chuckles) Yeah.
(chuckling): No, I'm not.
(clears throat) Anyway, your mother already told him to fuck off.
(clock ticking)
(creaking)
(crickets chirping)
(dog barking in distance)
(dog barking in distance)
(dog barking in distance)
(door closes)
(door closes)
(door opens)
(door slides open)
(engine shuts off)
(engine shuts off)
(engine starts)
(fading):
(footsteps ascending stairs)
(groans softly)
(grunts)
(horns honking)
(indistinct chatter continues)
(indistinct chatter)
(indistinct chatter)
(indistinct chatter)
(indistinct chatter)
(indistinct shouting)
(indistinct sportscast playing)
(indistinct, overlapping chatter)
(inhales sharply)
(Jimmy chuckles)
(jingle playing over radio)
(JR breathing deeply)
(JR chuckles)
(JR chuckles)
(JR chuckles)
(JR sighs) Morning.
(keys jingle, lock clicks)
(knocking)
(laughing)
(laughing): Uh...
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs)
(laughs) …apologizing
(laughter, indistinct chatter over TV)
(light laughter)
(lighter flicks)
(mailbox door opens, closes)
(moaning continues)
(Mom groans)
(Mom scoffs)
(Mom sighs)
(Mom sniffles)
(Mom sniffling, sobbing softly)
(mouth full): Well, Sidney tells me... Excuse me.
(music ends)
(music playing faintly over radio)
(others cheering)
(over radio):
(overlapping chatter)
(panting, grunting)
(passes gas)
(phone ringing)
(phones ringing)
(radio shuts off)
(railway crossing bells clanging)
(school bell ringing)
(scoffs) I don't know about that.
(Sidney laughing)
(Sidney laughs)
(Sidney moaning loudly in other room)
(sighing): Oh, Jesus, mother of God.
(sighs, chuckles softly)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs)
(sighs) Gin makes me crazy.
(sighs) How can I help?
(sighs) Not exactly the first inkblot on her ledger.
(sighs) So, uh, I don't know if I told you on the phone, but, um...
(sighs) The Family Gazette.
(sighs) This is it.
(sighs) Tomorrow is another day.
(sighs): Oh, God.
(softly): Oh.
(song continues over radio)
(song fades)
(song fades)
(song stops)
(song stops)
(stifled sobs)
(takes deep breath)
(takes deep breath)
(taking deep breaths)
(The Voice clears throat)
(The Voice clears throat)
(The Voice exhales sharply)
(typewriter bell dings)
(typewriter bell dings)
(typewriter keys clacking)
(typewriter keys clacking)
(typewriter keys clacking)
(typewriter keys clacking)
(Valentin Haussmann's "Polnischer Tanz, Deutscher Tanz" playing)
(vehicle approaches, brakes squeak)
(vehicle approaching)
(vehicle approaching)
$60,000. My house cost $12,000.
60? JR got grants and scholarships.

Viral
Funny