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Home > The Happytime Murders
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The Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders

The Happytime Murders is a dark-comedy crime film that was released in 2018. Directed by Brian Henson, the movie features a unique blend of live-action and puppetry that brings an eccentric and twisted world to life. This unconventional film introduces us to a parallel universe where puppets coexist with humans, leading to a hilarious and gritty detective story.

Set in Los Angeles, the story follows Phil Phillips (voiced by Bill Barretta), a washed-up puppet detective turned private eye. When the cast members of a beloved puppet TV show, "The Happytime Gang," start getting brutally murdered one by one, Phil takes on the case. Teaming up with his human ex-partner, Detective Connie Edwards (played by Melissa McCarthy), they embark on a wild and raunchy investigation to catch the serial killer.

The Happytime Murders takes a refreshing approach to puppetry, combining adorable puppet characters with R-rated, adult-oriented humor. The movie pushes boundaries by exploring the darker side of puppet life, delving into themes of discrimination, addiction, and societal prejudice. This genre-bending film creates a unique blend of comedy and crime, appealing to both fans of puppetry and those seeking an unconventional, laughter-filled experience.

The film boasts an impressive cast of actors who lend their voices and performances to these puppet characters, including Maya Rudolph as Bubbles, a perky secretary puppet, Elizabeth Banks as Jenny, a sexy nightclub puppet performer, and Joel McHale as FBI agent Campbell.

In addition to the charismatic cast, The Happytime Murders delights audiences with catchy and well-crafted songs that further immerse us in this bizarre puppet detective world. The film's soundtrack provides a diverse range of musical styles, reflecting the various moods and tones of the story. From jazzy noir tunes to catchy puppet show melodies, the songs enhance the overall experience and add joy to the darkness.

Thanks to the innovative puppetry and outstanding voice performances, this film creates a visually stunning and believable world where puppets are just as complex and flawed as humans. The attention to detail and puppetry artistry bring these characters to life, making audiences quickly forget that they are watching mere fabric and foam on screen. The seamless integration of live-action and puppetry is a testament to the skilled puppeteers and visual effects team behind the scenes.

If you're curious to experience the world of The Happytime Murders for yourself, you can immerse yourself in its soundscape by playing and downloading the soundtrack. With just a few clicks, you can enjoy the catchy tunes and memorable performances that bring this unique movie to life.

The Happytime Murders challenges the conventions of puppetry and brings a fresh perspective to the crime comedy genre. It is a testament to the creativity and versatility of puppetry as an art form, proving that puppets can tell stories that are both comedic and thought-provoking. Whether you're a fan of puppetry, crime movies, or just looking for something completely original, The Happytime Murders is sure to entertain and surprise you.

So, sit back, relax, and let the puppetry genius of The Happytime Murders transport you to a world where puppets solve crimes, sing catchy tunes, and deliver non-stop laughter. Go ahead and play and download these sounds here to experience the whimsical and raucous world of The Happytime Murders.

A dirty sun drenched beauty contest
A felty? No.
A few questions, if you don't mind.
A fresh batch of margaritas, huh?
A little help here! Can you get me some help?
A little.
A puppet song, sweetheart?
A real pinata party, huh?
About the Happytime murders.
Absolutely. Um, it's in the office behind the theater.
Accidentally, uh, burned down the evidence.
Actually her name is Sandra Peterson.
Actually, I don't know what the hell I am anymore.
Actually, not really a friend,
AGENT CAMPBELL: And why would he do that?
AGENT CAMPBELL: Freeze, Philips!
AGENT CAMPBELL: That's it! You're done, Edwards.
Ah, ah, ah! Better tone, same shitty words.
Ah, it's great to see you, Lieutenant.
Ah, shit, shit, shit.
Ah, that looks really painful.
Ah, well, I didn't think I was unkempt.
Ah!
Ahh!
All I'm seeing is that you look like a cloth vagina.
All right, all right, all right. Move.
All right, all right, I'm going hot and loud.
All right, but what are you gonna do to me, huh?
All right, I'll huff...
All right, I'll take the front.
All right, I'm gonna get us in.
All right, I'm sorry.
All right, if it bothers you.
All right, just slow down. Here comes the street up here.
All right, let's go. Wanna help me get the hell out of here?
All right, so you're a psycho.
All right, thanks, Bubbles, you're a real peach.
All right, this nose has been
All right, well... (CLEARS THROAT)
All right.
All right. Let me, uh...
All right. Son of a bitch.
ALL: It's Happytime!
All's I know is, is that he's a real sugar smack,
Also, I have also noted that
Always works on assholes.
Am I a human? Am I a puppet?
Am I right? I mean, that guy knows.
An eight arm reach around, all right?
And a sexy skeleton in my closet.
And again, and again, and again...
And all the other fine ladies here tonight
And as much as I hated to admit it...
And Augustus Bumblypants their start.
And by Titanic, I mean your cock.
And celebrate together.
And Edwards had gone moody as shit,
And fill him back up with rice pilaf.
And guess what I found.
And he could have me all to himself.
And he put in a motion with the mayor's office
And he wanted to run away together.
And he's probably holed up in that sugar den
And he's your typical shyster, meat sack piece of shit.
And how long had you been having this affair?
And I can't do it by myself
And I certainly don't have a crippling addiction to porn.
And I don't wanna have to call a judge on you, you know,
And I live with that guilt every day.
And I made a jacket out of her.
And I needed the money.
And I ruined all of our lives in the process,
And I stopped by the office to check in.
And I wish I would've fucked you, Donnie.
And I'd like to take you out to dinner,
And I'll puff, and I'll blow your fucking door down!
And I'm gonna be there waiting for you, Phil,
And I'm gonna have the best goddamn sleep of my life.
And I'm gonna put you inside a king size pillowcase
And I'm gonna take you down with extreme prejudice.
And I'm really fucking good at it.
And keep a low profile?
And next door neighbors Ezra and Cara.
And no one's...
And nobody even knows where Goofer is.
And now, with $10 million, I can do anything.
And said you murdered her wife, Jenny Peterson.
And sent me to that porno shop.
And some oatmeal.
And taking over their land.
And that's my office there.
And then I'd be rich,
And they get real uppity if I don't keep them in line...
And we have a witness to prove it.
And what do you mean, she didn't exist? Everybody exists.
And who would care about a puppet's share
And you know what? Everybody knows
And you said, "What?"
And you shouldn't be following people, Bubbles.
And, Phil, I talked to the captain,
And, uh...
And? And, "Good afternoon, Detective Edwards."
ANNOUNCER: Returning this fall,
ANNOUNCER: You're watching
Any calls?
Any other way.
Apaches? What? What did you say?
Are dead and you could be next.
Are you a TV star, too?
Are you looking for some rotten cotton?
Are you Officer Shenanigans?
As you can see, she's the kind of girl
Ass Puppet Jamboree.
Asshole says what?
At home with Jenny, Coach Lyle,
At least then we'd know who the killer is.
At that contract for the syndication deal.
At the edge of the Pacific.
At the family picnic
Attaboy!
Augustus Bumblypants or Larry Shenanigans?
Bad dogs! Bad dogs!
BANNING: (SIGHS) Jesus, Phil.
BANNING: I can put a black and white on Jenny,
Be on the lookout for ex puppet cop Phil Philips.
Beat his head in, threw him off the pier.
Because my Aunt Ruby tragically died
Because our vaginas are literally velvet.
Because sure as shit no one else is.
Because there's one thing they have in common
Better get that damn light out of my eye.
Better.
Big enough to take down the Titanic.
Bingo.
Bitches be crazy.
Bite the tip!
Blue male, three and a half feet tall.
Both Philips bros don't need to change the world.
BOTH: The Happytime Gang.
BOY 1: No, you stupid puppet.
Boy, puppets are the worst, huh?
Bring her ass over here.
BRITTENIE: They were such bad, bad, bad dogs.
Bubbles, hey, you know, I was thinking...
Bubbles, secretary.
BUBBLES: Jeez, this must have taken years.
BUBBLES: Oh, hello.
BUBBLES: Oh, my God.
BUBBLES: Purple hair on a puppet, that's very rare.
BUBBLES: Shh!
BUBBLES: What a psycho.
Bumbly would've wanted to die in a porn shop.
Bumblypants was the target there.
But Ezra and Cara live in Lancaster.
But go fuck yourself.
But I had no juice to do it with, and now I do.
But I have a sensitive tummy,
But I like a little cushion for my cushion.
But I tailed her to a rat trap of an apartment in Hollywood.
But I will only give you pain!
But I'm glad you're still here.
But I'm just afraid this asshole
But it was a two hour drive,
But it's $300 a day, plus expenses.
But little puppets have big mouths, right?
But sometimes, you can be a real asshole.
But to a puppet, pure ecstasy.
But we don't allow humans in our game.
But what the hell happened to all your Happytime money?
But you don't actually like him for this, do you?
But you made me realize I like killing.
But you're pretty cute for a fella in a suit.
But you're the best damn cop I've ever seen.
But, what, did I miss another body around here?
By the way, I want a divorce.
By the way, nobody really wears their hat,
By the way, you sleep with your mouth wide open.
Bye bye, asshole.
Bye bye, puppet.
Can I get you a coffee?
Can just walk right into my apartment.
Can stuff!
Can we just stick to what's going on here, please?
Can you roll down the window, for Christ's sake?
Can't you see I'm trying, you know, to...
Carol, we never got to talk, but you seem cool.
Cheesy, creasy, so... (GASPS)
CHUCK: Oh, yeah, she wants me!
Civilian casualty and officer down. Sixth and Grand.
Clean up on Aisle Phil.
Come in. Shut the door.
Come on out, you little psycho.
Come on, guys. You don't really have to cuff him, do you?
Come on, I can tell you've had crabs before.
Come on, Phil, don't do this again.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on. Let's end this thing.
Coming!
Consider yourself suspended.
COP: Freeze, Philips!
COW PUPPET: Oh!
Daddy! Daddy!
DALMATIAN PUPPET: Now a new kind of pleasure.
DALMATIAN PUPPET: You are a disgusting fireman. (GRUNTS)
DALMATIAN PUPPET: You are my slave.
Damn it, Phil, Jesus!
Damn! She got me that way, too.
David Copperfield makes it snow inside.
Decorated officers in this department.
Detective Edwards, look.
Detective Philips?
Did you tell her that I was in Minnesota attending a funeral
Dirty little puppet secret, huh?
Do it, meat sack, take it.
Do you have any coke?
Do you have some sugar for Goofer, friend? (CHUCKLES)
Do you know what they'll do to a puppet ex cop in prison?
Do you remember the first time you ever walked me to my car?
Do you think I could see those?
Do you want me to go for my gun?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Dogs barking, fire hoses.
Don't do this for that purple pubed monster.
Don't fuck this one up, Phil. She's one of the good ones.
Don't fuck this up.
Don't make this harder than it has to be.
Don't tell Officer Shenanigans.
Don't upset the fans.
Don't waste your time, Mr. P.
Don't worry, he retains very little information.
Don't you know that poaching puppets
Down there. What, do you have alligator arms? Get it!
Dr. Trevor, we have a fleshy
DR. TREVOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Driver, can I ask you a quick question?
Drop that gun, Phil, I don't wanna hurt you.
Drop the fucking gun!
Drop your gun, or I'm gonna fucking kill her!
Drop your gun.
Edwards headed out to the beach to look for Goofer,
Edwards, is your history with Philips
Edwards, what do you see?
Edwards, you know I'm innocent.
Edwards, you're off suspension.
EDWARDS: 'Cause she's like a fuckin' spider monkey.
EDWARDS: (CHUCKLES) All right.
EDWARDS: Eat sugar, you fuck! Get away!
EDWARDS: Everybody knows puppets don't shoot puppets.
EDWARDS: God, I hate the beach.
EDWARDS: I didn't know Jenny was even married.
EDWARDS: I'd love to eat it so much,
EDWARDS: I'm talking about Apaches.
EDWARDS: LAPD!
EDWARDS: My lunch.
EDWARDS: Oh, Philips.
EDWARDS: Okay, can we please just be professional
EDWARDS: Ugh. God.
EDWARDS: We've got ourselves a good old fashioned nutjob.
EDWARDS: What, do you rob houses on the weekends?
EDWARDS: Who is that?
Edwards!
Edwards!
Edwards!
Edwards! Drop the weapon!
Edwards! Jesus Christ.
Edwards! You all right?
Edwards?
Edwards.
Edwards.
Edwards...
Enjoy the show.
Every poison has an antidote.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Far be it for me to compliment you,
FEMALE PUPPET: You live your truth, baby.
Figures you'd be in the center of this shitstorm.
Fine. I have a puppet liver.
For 50 cents, Goofer will give you a felty.
For 50 cents, I'll suck your dick. (CHUCKLES)
For their feet is illegal?
For your disparaging remarks?
Freaky deaky.
Freeze, police!
Freeze!
Freeze! You're under arrest for being...
Freeze. It's over, Sandra.
From having a puppet as a partner.
From one sugar fix to the next.
Fuck all of you guys.
Fuck you, Reith. You know what?
Fuck you!
Fuck, why are you so tiny?
Fuck.
Fucking choke on it.
Fucking rabbits.
Get a diaper for your fucking mouth.
Get him out of here.
Get me out of here.
Get nostalgic, and drink till I pass out.
Get off!
Give me the carrot. Give me the carrot.
Give me the key. She's getting away.
Glucose, fructose, corn syrup...
Go arrest 'em.
Go get her.
God damn it. There you go, there you go.
God, it's very hard to pull off all white like that.
God, you're so... You're...
Goddamn son of a bitch.
Gonna be a problem here?
Good night, Bubbles.
Good night, Jenny.
Good night, Phil Philips.
Good night, Phil Philips.
Good to see you, Phil.
Good work, you two. I knew you had it in you.
Good. For puppet poachers, they were real sweethearts.
Goof!
Goofer the handyman,
Goofer, need a drink, buddy?
Goofer's washed up.
Got himself a bit of a criminal record.
Gotta go.
Grade A hyper sucrose.
Guaranteed to bring you good luck.
Had a couple of kids,
Happy ending?
Happytime cast members dead within the week.
Happytime Gang cast members dead in a week.
Have a nice day.
Have I made you uncomfortable?
Have you seen him?
Have you seen this puppet?
He produced The Happytime Gang,
He said he killed them all
He was all right, even after the bleach job.
He was my brother and, deep down,
He's a blue loser puppet with a tiny felt cock.
He's servicing a client right now.
Hell, I poisoned every good puppet's chance
Hell, I still had a hard spot for her.
Hell, who doesn't?
Her ass hot like... Fire.
Her hair red like fire.
Here I am. (CHUCKLES)
Here we go, Puppet Pussy Party.
Here, get yourself out.
Here. Better safe than dead.
Here's to Larry, man.
Here's your Chicks With Big Asses.
Hey, Campbell.
Hey, hey, get your fucking...
Hey, hey, get your hands off of me!
Hey, hey. Give him his eye back.
Hey, hey. Hey, what's gotten into you?
Hey, I didn't murder anybody.
Hey, I said a backpack, you said the cooler. So...
Hey, it's a pair of socks!
Hey, Larry coming to you live with the party cam! Whoo hoo!
Hey, Lyle.
Hey, man. Have you seen this puppet?
Hey, Mr. P.
Hey, Phil, why don't you let
Hey, so does this massage include a happy ending or not?
Hey, stupid. Say, "What."
Hey, uh, listen, I need to ask you
Hey, uh, who are your friends?
Hey, Vin, it's Phil.
Hey, Vinny, I found it.
Hey, wait a minute, now. Put that... No, don't do that.
Hey, you don't come at me like that.
Hey, you forgot your carrot.
Hey, you ready for this?
Hey!
Hey! (LAUGHING)
Hey.
Hey. Hey, hey. You want some sugar?
Hey. Hey...
Hey. Hey...
Hey. I was a cop, and a damn good one.
Hiya, folks!
Hmm.
Hmm. So, Ronovan really doesn't benefit
Hmm. What's your secret?
Hmm. You know, I think he...
Holy shitcakes!
Hope your meeting is as satisfying as mine was.
How about that?
How about you apologize to Roxy
How about you come with us,
How are you, dear? Here's your Zuggler bar.
How can I help you, Miss...?
How does that feel, Roxy?
How else was I supposed to get
How the hell did you get in here?
How you doing? Uh, I'm looking for this guy.
How'd she get the drop on you?
Huh!
Huh.
Huh...!
Hurry back 'cause this hot tub
I am gonna make a killing on those royalty checks.
I blew all that cream on panty pie and poody glitter.
I can't believe you fucking shot me.
I can't help noticing this impressive view.
I can't hold it!
I can't read your lips, you're a fucking puppet.
I can't remember every puppet comes in here
I care about was getting knocked off.
I didn't put it on.
I didn't recognize that it was Larry.
I didn't think you were coming around here no more.
I don't actually have my real asshole anymore either.
I don't know her.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't know if that's PC to say.
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
I don't know what you expect me to do.
I don't know, babe.
I don't like the way it feels.
I don't remember getting married,
I don't take compliments well, but I get them all the time.
I don't think anybody's there.
I don't think so.
I don't want anything hot from you.
I doubt that very much for you.
I gave your brother
I get very hungry for cold foods.
I got cops on me.
I got it from your apartment.
I gotta keep working
I gotta work for that?
I guess she heard about those guys already.
I guess the carpet does match the d****s.
I have my shit held together.
I have puppet servants at home,
I have quite an appetite.
I have something for that.
I hope my fluff sprays all over your cheap suits.
I hope you don't mind me asking,
I just don't like wearing underwear.
I just don't wanna watch
I just don't want to see you get hurt, all right?
I just got a lucky shot off.
I just gotta see him.
I just happen to like the milkshakes here.
I just need five minutes.
I just needed to lay low,
I just never really cared for that word, if you must know.
I just want to know what you know
I just want you to be safe.
I know I didn't have your back before,
I know it's early, but what the heck.
I loved the dumb son of a bitch.
I loved you.
I mean, all those little dummies want to do
I mean, he used to be, you know, a lot bluer.
I mean, let's be honest.
I mean, no offense, I don't wanna start anything,
I messed up, Sandra.
I missed the shot,
I need your help to save him.
I occasionally wear heels.
I peed on that mirror.
I poisoned me and you, I poisoned my career.
I put her in your office.
I received this in the mail today.
I recognize the pole.
I ruined your life once before,
I said "wife" because you said "wife". Are you saying wife?
I said, "Asshole says what?" and you...
I saw you there, remember?
I saw you there, remember?
I sell weed. (CHUCKLES)
I sense that you are searching.
I should've kept my fuzzy blue in my pants.
I sometimes enjoy the company of a lady.
I still feel sick about it every goddamn day.
I still had a soft spot for her.
I think about pilafing all the time.
I think I did.
I think we should just get on the plane and take off.
I think you gotta take the credit for that one.
I think you might have done some irreparable damage.
I think you missed me. (CHUCKLES)
I thought I was gonna lose you.
I used to love watching you dance.
I want an APB out on that sock now!
I want you to take it more seriously.
I wanted to watch you suffer.
I will make you do all sorts of things for me.
I will need a gallon of kombucha
I will pee on you like you're a hydrant.
I won't. I won't.
I would be... so grateful.
I, uh... I had nowhere else to go.
I... I feel better.
I... I used to be.
I'd also like to point out that that makes three
I'll bring it back when I... Jesus fluffing Christ!
I'll call you when I check into a motel. All right?
I'll give you what I call the "Continental Hot Sock."
I'll stalk you later. I want a selfie.
I'll take the back. Meet you in the middle.
I'll tell you what, lock her up.
I'm a bit of a hoarder.
I'm a businessman, going to do my business.
I'm a PI, and my home is on the streets,
I'm a sexual I'mma.
I'm a witness, you asshole.
I'm a woman.
I'm bringing him on as a consultant.
I'm going back to the FBI.
I'm gonna catch the bastards who did these murders.
I'm gonna go home and change.
I'm gonna have to ice my junk.
I'm gonna shred you into little bitty pieces
I'm gonna take two.
I'm hoping you.
I'm hungry.
I'm just gonna sit here alone,
I'm just scratching and clawing
I'm lightheaded, I'm lightheaded.
I'm not buying that anybody lives here.
I'm not buying that two women live here.
I'm not doing it again.
I'm not doing that.
I'm not reinstating him as a police officer.
I'm not talking about pilafing.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm not whispering, I'm not...
I'm sorry I missed that day.
I'm sorry I shot the wrong guy.
I'm sorry you're struggling.
I'm sorry, beautiful ladies.
I'm sorry, bitches.
I'm sorry, I cannot do anything about it.
I'm sorry, I choked.
I'm sorry, Phil.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Too soon.
I'm sticking up for him because my gut
I'm taking off. Do you wanna get a drink?
I'm trying not to think about it.
I'm trying to forget about all that.
I'm... I'm sorry a little girl lost her father.
I've been searching public records on Sandra White
I've got it. I've got it.
I've had this sitting in my desk,
If he did it, I'll bring him in myself.
If he makes any contact, I wanna know immediately.
If it was staring them right in the googly eyes.
If my proclivities were to be exposed,
If we quit holding each other's proverbial dicks and split up.
If we want to get you off the hook for this,
If you're gonna eat it, you don't get it.
Impressive.
In a contract anyway, right?
In a Zamboni incident?
In extreme pressure situations.
In fact, when you're working together,
In front of his daughter,
In more fluff than you can imagine.
In my nose!
In my stuffing filled chest was still a...
Into a chew toy and gets away with it.
Is about to be sold into syndication.
Is brought to you by the letter "P".
Is for anyone to see you here.
Is gonna make me pull a warrant.
Is looking for a bigger piece of the pie.
Is Phil in?
Is sing and dance, am I right? (CHUCKLES)
Is telling me that Philips didn't do this.
Is that the bedroom back there?
Is this the carrot?
Is too hot to handle without you.
Isn't it nice just to relax?
It also proves that Phil is innocent.
It feels like Easter in my pants.
It makes me wish I had a dick for you to suck.
It means he was bluer before. I don't know how else to say...
It means you can hear me.
It means, "If I'mma get next to it, I'mma gonna fuck it."
It says. Look. "Paired with Edwards' phone," or something.
It shows a real lack of creativity, guys.
It took me, like, under a minute.
It was actually very easy. I just picked the lock.
It was the first network show starring puppets
It was the first time we met.
It would be devastating to my family.
It'll put a human in a diabetic coma for a month,
It's a melting pot of people who live together in harmony
It's a shithole on the edge of Chinatown.
It's a term they call "pilafing."
It's a tragedy, what happened.
It's dangerous.
It's déjà fucking vu, Phil.
It's full of puppet fluff.
It's just this doesn't sound like something Phil...
It's like a fucking birth.
It's like Children of the Corn.
It's like stealing somebody's car
It's like we're Apache Comanche together,
It's like, he's not gonna sprout wings and fly after us.
It's my fucking charger
It's none of your business why I can go or not.
It's not too late.
It's not.
It's over and you know it.
It's Sandra White. She's one of my clients.
It's the bathroom.
It's The Happytime Gang Season 4 wrap party.
It's their world, and we just live in it.
It's too early for this crap.
It's unethical.
It's up to him, he's the lieutenant.
It's your car, it's on your radio.
It's, like, two mirrors and a laser, and I can do that.
Jacob, we don't talk to meat sacks.
Jeez, you don't have to deny the puppet part of yourself.
Jenny, Jenny, listen to me, listen to me.
JENNY: It's fine, I know the plan.
JENNY: You want some carrot, huh?
Jesucristo.
Jesus Christ, Phil, you look terrible.
Jesus Christ, Phil.
Jesus Christ!
Jesus Christ! I thought it was your shoe.
Jesus Christ. Shut the curtains, would you?
Jesus Christ... Oh, shit, Lyle!
Jesus, I still can't get that squirting cow out of my head.
Jesus, put it away. I'm gonna get us in.
Jesus... (GRUNTS)
JUNKYARD: Flush to the motherfucking queen.
JUNKYARD: Get me some more lean.
Just answer my question.
Just like when that motherfucker
Just shimmy out like Mommy told you to.
Just so you can put new fucking tires on it.
Just tell me, yes or no, have you seen him?
Just to get to me.
Karen is not a real redhead.
Knock him out with his own balls.
Knock it off, you two!
Knock it off, you two.
LAPD, Robbery Homicide Division.
LAPD!
Larry and Jenny didn't have anything to do with this.
Larry, Jenny everyone in this world
LARRY: (ON TV) Let me see you work it, Bumblypants.
LARRY: Here comes my brother with his partner.
LARRY: Here we go.
LARRY: Hey, Britty!
Larry! Get out of my way. Get out of my way!
Larry... (SIGHS)
Larry's birthday at the, uh...
Last seen fleeing on foot from 1643...
Let's dance.
Let's hit it, let's go.
Let's party all night.
Let's try it again.
Lieutenant Banning, police.
Lieutenant, I think I found the murder weapon.
Lieutenant, this wasn't a robbery. This was a hit.
Lieutenant, uh, the press is here.
Like a date.
Like Manson level good.
Like the laws don't apply to you.
Like this.
Listen to yourself, or is that your liver talking?
Listen, I know that Philips is a pain in the ass,
Listen, I'm sorry about Larry, man.
Listen, um, do you keep a record
Listen, you and I both know that
Literally, any other way than what you just did.
Literally.
Look at this, nothing.
Look at this, Sacramento Red Hot.
Look, Lieutenant, nobody turns my brother
Look, Lieutenant, this makes three
Looking out for the felt
Looks like a pretty classic smash and splash.
Looks like a robbery gone bad to me.
Looks like I'll finally be able to pay off
Looks like someone had themselves
Looks like this mystery
Looks like we beat the rush.
Looks like, uh, Coach Lyle's
Lyle was as straight as an arrow.
Lyle, stay. Don't do that.
LYLE: Half puppet cop?
LYLE: Hate to be the bearer of bad news,
Making sure I was safe.
MALE PUPPET 1: Taxi! Hey, taxi.
MAN 2: Sorry.
Man, I thought he smelled bad alive.
Man, that is the greatest line of all time.
Married? Whose wife? What did you say?
May I say something now?
Maybe, but a crazy bitch would do this. (GRUNTS)
Maybe, but sex is always better with a psycho.
Maybe. (LAUGHING)
Men are so stupid.
Minding his own business.
Mmm mmm!
Mmm. I see.
Months.
More of a disgusting acquaintance.
Most folks will never understand puppets.
Most of all, I wanted to protect my old flame, Jenny.
Move on.
Move out of the way. You're so dramatic.
Mr. Bumblypants,
Mr. Philips, the blackmailer sent another note.
Ms. White.
Murders?
My deal? I'm a Virgo.
My Scientology dues.
Nada.
NARRATOR: So tune in for the entire Happytime Gang,
Neither side wants me, and I don't blame 'em.
Never heard of that before.
Nice. What a delicate little flower you are, huh?
No Bumbly here.
No hard feelings?
No matter how masculine and unkempt they are.
No matter what color or creed.
No matter what they look like on the outside,
No one's coming in with the suit jackets made
No, but Sandra White is in your office.
No, I do not.
No, I don't, I'm your average puppet,
No, I'm good. Thanks, Lawrence.
No, I'm not a monk.
No, it's not.
No, it's Phil Philips, Larry's brother. You remember me.
No, no, no, no, no!
No, no, no, we don't treat humans here.
No, no, you're the masculine, he's the unkempt.
No, this is ridiculous. Come on.
No, whoever killed Larry also took out Mr. Bumblypants.
No, you just wanna use me, like Sandra used you.
No! Daddy!
No! Oh!
No. Excuse me, I don't... No, I don't like pee.

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