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Team America: World Police (2004) Team America: World Police is a satirical action-comedy film released in 2004. Created by

Team America: World Police (2004)

Team America: World Police is a satirical action-comedy film released in 2004. Created by the talented duo Trey Parker and Matt Stone, known for their hit TV show South Park, this movie satirizes American action films and political interventionism. The plot follows the all-marionette super-spy team known as Team America as they battle terrorist threats and a diabolical dictator. Only this time, the heroes are wooden puppets controlled by the filmmakers' deft hands, resulting in hilarity and absurdity. The film is filled with political satire and clever humor, offering a critique on American foreign policy and celebrity activism.

Although no specific song or band is mentioned, the film does feature several catchy and comedic musical numbers. If you want to capture the essence of this film, you can play and download these sounds here. So, sit back and enjoy the wild ride that is Team America: World Police.

Team America: World Police (2004) Team America World Police Movie Team America Soldier : Team Fortress 2 Team America: World Police Team America World Police Team America Nigel Mansell The A-Team Season 1 Formation Parks and Recreation (2009) Season 4 Hawaii Five-0 Season 1 Superstore Season 2 Arrow Season 1 Krispy Kreme (the Rapper) Captain America: The First Avenger (2011… Captain America: Civil War (2016) Good Morning America America SFX Library Kim Wilde Kids In America Avengers: Endgame Superstore (2015) Season 1 Phone Hang Ups Kevin Magnussen Football Ninpuu Sentai Hurricanger Avengers Assemble
A bond that cannot be broken.
A bond that cannot be broken.
A rittle ronery.
A rittle ronery.
A rittle ronery.
A rittle ronery.
About the Chechnyans being in charge.
About the Chechnyans being in charge.
Act your way past those guards and see what you can find out.
Act your way past those guards and see what you can find out.
After blowing up half of Cairo.
After blowing up half of Cairo.
After the show, I was asked if I wanted to go meet
After the show, I was asked if I wanted to go meet
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS
Alec Baldwin is head of the Film Actors Guild.
Alec Baldwin is head of the Film Actors Guild.
Alec Baldwin is rallying all the members of the Film Actors Guild.
Alec Baldwin is rallying all the members of the Film Actors Guild.
All American actor who graduated Iowa University summa cum laude
All American actor who graduated Iowa University summa cum laude
All around the world, there will be massive exprosions.
All around the world, there will be massive exprosions.
All because of me.
All because of me.
All compretery unaware that the world is about to change forever.
All compretery unaware that the world is about to change forever.
All covered in shit.
All covered in shit.
All I ask Is that you're a woman
All I ask Is that you're a woman
All I ask Is that you're a woman
All I ask Is that you're a woman
All I can think about is your smile.
All I can think about is your smile.
All right, Gary, you follow me. The rest of the team,
All right, Gary, you follow me. The rest of the team,
All right, good job, Sarah. Now, everyone make for the tavern.
All right, good job, Sarah. Now, everyone make for the tavern.
All right, I'll trust you.
All right, I'll trust you.
All right, listen carefully. The WMDs are located
All right, listen carefully. The WMDs are located
All right, team, let's move to the inner city. Keep it quiet.
All right, team, let's move to the inner city. Keep it quiet.
All right, team, we've only got one shot at this, so listen up.
All right, team, we've only got one shot at this, so listen up.
All right, team. We're nearing Derka Derkastan.
All right, team. We're nearing Derka Derkastan.
All right, that does it. Get out of here, you drunk lowlife.
All right, that does it. Get out of here, you drunk lowlife.
All right, that's the tavern with the blue door.
All right, that's the tavern with the blue door.
All right, you guys, I hate to break up this little party,
All right, you guys, I hate to break up this little party,
All right. Come on, team, we gotta find that stage.
All right. Come on, team, we gotta find that stage.
All right. Thanks.
All right. Thanks.
All right. We fucking did it.
All right. We fucking did it.
All that matters, Gary, is what you have here.
All that matters, Gary, is what you have here.
All that Team America does is create new enemies.
All that Team America does is create new enemies.
All you in the audience should go to your homes now.
All you in the audience should go to your homes now.
Already expected to attend are Helen Hunt,
Already expected to attend are Helen Hunt,
Amazing.
Amazing.
America.
America.
America.
America.
America.
America.
America... Fuck
America... Fuck
An actor convincing enough to make the terrorists think he's one of them.
An actor convincing enough to make the terrorists think he's one of them.
An actor with a double major in theater and world languages?
An actor with a double major in theater and world languages?
An attack in Panama today has left thousands dead.
An attack in Panama today has left thousands dead.
And a damn fine cop. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
And a damn fine cop. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
And all I'm trying to say.
And all I'm trying to say.
And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything.
And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything.
And as the leaders of your countries, you have the power
And as the leaders of your countries, you have the power
And every single minute of every single day,
And every single minute of every single day,
And everything around him before he can set them off.
And everything around him before he can set them off.
And fends only for themselves.
And fends only for themselves.
And finally, we have our psychology expert. Where's Lisa?
And finally, we have our psychology expert. Where's Lisa?
And get on the ground. You're under arrest.
And get on the ground. You're under arrest.
And get the fuck out of here.
And get the fuck out of here.
And he wants us to be the keynote speakers.
And he wants us to be the keynote speakers.
And I am the greatest terrorist ever to have rived.
And I am the greatest terrorist ever to have rived.
And I miss you
And I miss you
And I miss you.
And I miss you.
And I miss you.
And I miss you.
And if we don't all chip in.
And if we don't all chip in.
And if we don't all chip in.
And if we don't all chip in.
And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass
And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass
And if you don't believe it, then you better kill me now,
And if you don't believe it, then you better kill me now,
And if you don't throw in your buck o five, who will?
And if you don't throw in your buck o five, who will?
And if you don't throw in your buck o five, who will?
And if you don't throw in your buck o five, who will?
And if you even try to touch Kim Jong II,
And if you even try to touch Kim Jong II,
And intelligence tells us they plan to use them.
And intelligence tells us they plan to use them.
And it takes a pussy to show them that.
And it takes a pussy to show them that.
And just what does this have to do with me?
And just what does this have to do with me?
And Kim Jong II is an asshole.
And Kim Jong II is an asshole.
And laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
And laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
And now Gyron is smeared With Barmack porren.
And now Gyron is smeared With Barmack porren.
And now some Hollywood celebrities are lashing out.
And now some Hollywood celebrities are lashing out.
And now the tables are turned, and I don't know if I can trust you.
And now the tables are turned, and I don't know if I can trust you.
And now we present to you the very best in North Korean music.
And now we present to you the very best in North Korean music.
And now you see, the new world is inevitabre.
And now you see, the new world is inevitabre.
And now, radies and gentlemen, Mr Arec Barrwin.
And now, radies and gentlemen, Mr Arec Barrwin.
And once he's on the inside, cover his back.
And once he's on the inside, cover his back.
And only one emptiness will do.
And only one emptiness will do.
And put that cock right in his mouth.
And put that cock right in his mouth.
And rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced
And rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced
And show us a passage of time.
And show us a passage of time.
And so
And so
And so this is the end of our story.
And so this is the end of our story.
And something even better happened.
And something even better happened.
And that shitty movie, too.
And that shitty movie, too.
And that shitty movie, too.
And that shitty movie, too.
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies.
And the Film Actors Guild are pussies.
And the idiots in charge are making it worse.
And the idiots in charge are making it worse.
And then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
And then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.
And then Team America goes out, and the corporations sit there in their...
And then Team America goes out, and the corporations sit there in their...
And they hate everything about you.
And they hate everything about you.
And they make money.
And they make money.
And this is Sarah,
And this is Sarah,
And training new terrorists for the attack.
And training new terrorists for the attack.
And until then
And until then
And wait for the goddamn signal this time. Goodbye.
And wait for the goddamn signal this time. Goodbye.
And we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are.
And we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are.
And while all the world's most important people are distracted here,
And while all the world's most important people are distracted here,
And with every shot Show a little improvement.
And with every shot Show a little improvement.
And with every shot Show a little improvement.
And with every shot Show a little improvement.
And without an actor, they were like pigs to the slaughter.
And without an actor, they were like pigs to the slaughter.
And would you start to feel bad?
And would you start to feel bad?
And you've got to reach your prime.
And you've got to reach your prime.
And your guards won't let me into certain areas.
And your guards won't let me into certain areas.
Anybody know of any terrorist attacks coming up soon?
Anybody know of any terrorist attacks coming up soon?
Are being organized for one massive worldwide attack.
Are being organized for one massive worldwide attack.
As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers
As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers
As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone.
As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone.
Assholes who just wanna shit on everything.
Assholes who just wanna shit on everything.
At 7:15 this morning, the terrorists carried out their attack.
At 7:15 this morning, the terrorists carried out their attack.
Attention. Attention, everyone.
Attention. Attention, everyone.
Basically, all the worst parts of the Bible.
Basically, all the worst parts of the Bible.
Baxter will take you wherever you wanna go. Just remember,
Baxter will take you wherever you wanna go. Just remember,
Baxter, I think we can valmorphanize safely now.
Baxter, I think we can valmorphanize safely now.
Because I wouldn't go along with their plans.
Because I wouldn't go along with their plans.
Because I'll put a jihad on you, too.
Because I'll put a jihad on you, too.
Because I've just been contacted by a very important political leader
Because I've just been contacted by a very important political leader
Because like it or not, you're the one with the power to do something.
Because like it or not, you're the one with the power to do something.
Because my acting saved the entire world.
Because my acting saved the entire world.
Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes.
Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes.
Because pussies get fucked by dicks.
Because pussies get fucked by dicks.
Because then there will be barance.
Because then there will be barance.
Because they destroyed our lives.
Because they destroyed our lives.
Because you're the one with the power to...
Because you're the one with the power to...
Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place.
Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place.
Bonjour, everyone. Don't worry. Everything is bon.
Bonjour, everyone. Don't worry. Everything is bon.
Bring her upstairs.
Bring her upstairs.
Bring in the submarines.
Bring in the submarines.
Bring it down! Bring it all down!
Bring it down! Bring it all down!
Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched.
Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched.
But also with Barmacks Who are giant bees.
But also with Barmacks Who are giant bees.
But dicks also fuck assholes,
But dicks also fuck assholes,
But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck.
But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck.
But he's the best martial arts expert Detroit has to offer.
But he's the best martial arts expert Detroit has to offer.
But I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole,
But I do know that if you don't let us fuck this asshole,
But I have to control them
But I have to control them
But it all went wrong And now I must decree.
But it all went wrong And now I must decree.
But it was too late.
But it was too late.
But Kim Jong II is a lot worse.
But Kim Jong II is a lot worse.
But nobody ristens No one understands.
But nobody ristens No one understands.
But nobody ristens No one understands.
But nobody ristens No one understands.
But now somebody has supplied the terrorists with WMDs.
But now somebody has supplied the terrorists with WMDs.
But only if you
But only if you
But some people out there want you dead.
But some people out there want you dead.
But sometimes pussies get so full of shit
But sometimes pussies get so full of shit
But the only thing that can fuck an asshole
But the only thing that can fuck an asshole
But then you got your assholes, Chuck.
But then you got your assholes, Chuck.
But there's still a lot of bad guys out there.
But there's still a lot of bad guys out there.
But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control.
But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control.
But where's the team?
But where's the team?
But you are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
But you are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
But you see, peace always finds a way.
But you see, peace always finds a way.
But you're still the only hope to stop these newer terrorists.
But you're still the only hope to stop these newer terrorists.
But you've let me down before.
But you've let me down before.
By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild,
By following the rules of the Film Actors Guild,
By the fiery, black liquid death.
By the fiery, black liquid death.
By the time my show is over, it will be far too rate.
By the time my show is over, it will be far too rate.
Cairo. That's in Egypt.
Cairo. That's in Egypt.
Carson.
Carson.
Children are walking to school, friends are sitting in movie theatres.
Children are walking to school, friends are sitting in movie theatres.
Come on, everybody We got quilting to do.
Come on, everybody We got quilting to do.
Come on, Gary, act. You have the power.
Come on, Gary, act. You have the power.
Come on, Gary, hurry. You've got to act fast.
Come on, Gary, hurry. You've got to act fast.
Come on, let's go. We're running out of time.
Come on, let's go. We're running out of time.
Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me.
Come on, stop trying to hit me and hit me.
Come on.
Come on.
Come. They're onto us!
Come. They're onto us!
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Coming again to save The motherfucking day, yeah.
Congratulations, Gary. You've done an amazing thing.
Congratulations, Gary. You've done an amazing thing.
Congraturations, Team America, you have stopped nothing.
Congraturations, Team America, you have stopped nothing.
Copy, Sarah. You get Gary, we'll go after the terrorists.
Copy, Sarah. You get Gary, we'll go after the terrorists.
Dear God.
Dear God.
Dicks, pussies and assholes.
Dicks, pussies and assholes.
Die! Infidels!
Die! Infidels!
Do something, Arec Barrwin!
Do something, Arec Barrwin!
Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am, Hans Brix?
Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am, Hans Brix?
Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?
Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that?
Dog eats dog, as everyone attacks everyone
Dog eats dog, as everyone attacks everyone
Don't fucking move!
Don't fucking move!
Don't fucking move! You were all going to be treated
Don't fucking move! You were all going to be treated
Don't let them get away.
Don't let them get away.
Don't mind Chris. He may be lacking courtesy,
Don't mind Chris. He may be lacking courtesy,
Don't move, protester, or I'll blow your commie brains out.
Don't move, protester, or I'll blow your commie brains out.
Don't worry, fellas, I've got my pass right here.
Don't worry, fellas, I've got my pass right here.
Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do?
Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do?
Drop your weapons.
Drop your weapons.
Easy, easy. You gotta calm down there, Chuck.
Easy, easy. You gotta calm down there, Chuck.
Even while the world around you spirals downward.
Even while the world around you spirals downward.
Every actor, grab a gun and keep Team America
Every actor, grab a gun and keep Team America
Every country will be a Third World country.
Every country will be a Third World country.
Everyone has AIDS My grandma and my dog Ole Blue.
Everyone has AIDS My grandma and my dog Ole Blue.
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS.
Everyone has AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS, AIDS.
Everyone has AIDS.
Everyone has AIDS.
Everyone has AIDS.
Everyone has AIDS.
Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help,
Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help,
Exactly right, Joe.
Exactly right, Joe.
Fear not, Muslim friends. We're here to find terrorists.
Fear not, Muslim friends. We're here to find terrorists.
Feel rike a bird in a cage.
Feel rike a bird in a cage.
Find someone else who will love you. Find someone else and be happy.
Find someone else who will love you. Find someone else and be happy.
For a massive international peace conference.
For a massive international peace conference.
For Team America's actions in Cairo.
For Team America's actions in Cairo.
For the truth is that Team America fights for the billion dollar corporations.
For the truth is that Team America fights for the billion dollar corporations.
Freedom costs a buck o five.
Freedom costs a buck o five.
Freedom costs a buck o five.
Freedom costs a buck o five.
Freedom is the only way Yeah.
Freedom is the only way Yeah.
Freedom is the only way, yeah.
Freedom is the only way, yeah.
Freedom is the only way, yeah.
Freedom is the only way, yeah.
Freedom isn't free.
Freedom isn't free.
Freedom isn't free.
Freedom isn't free.
From just a beginner to a pro.
From just a beginner to a pro.
From reaching this ceremony at all costs.
From reaching this ceremony at all costs.
From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. has gathered,
From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. has gathered,
Fuck him. We don't need an actor.
Fuck him. We don't need an actor.
Fuck off, Team America!
Fuck off, Team America!
Fuck, yeah.
Fuck, yeah.
Gary has already proven to me
Gary has already proven to me
Gary isn't in the tavern. I think he may be with...
Gary isn't in the tavern. I think he may be with...
Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
Gary stopped the terrorists in Cairo.
Gary, Chris, come in.
Gary, Chris, come in.
Gary, I'm afraid there's no time.
Gary, I'm afraid there's no time.
Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown
Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown
Gary, no.
Gary, no.
Gary, this is Joe, all star quarterback from the University of Nebraska.
Gary, this is Joe, all star quarterback from the University of Nebraska.
Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did.
Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.
Gary, you must use your acting
Gary, you must use your acting
Gary!
Gary!
Gary!
Gary!
Gary! Help me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
Gary! Help me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
Gary? You okay?
Gary? You okay?
Gary. Help me! Help me!
Gary. Help me! Help me!
Gary. Hey, hold on a second.
Gary. Hey, hold on a second.
Gary. Oh, no. Help me! Help me!
Gary. Oh, no. Help me! Help me!
George Clooney, Liv Tyler, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon,
George Clooney, Liv Tyler, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon,
Get away from I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
Get away from I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
Get off of me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
Get off of me! Get this thing off of me! Gary!
Get out of here, I said.
Get out of here, I said.
Go faster, you idiot.
Go faster, you idiot.
Go get them, cowboy.
Go get them, cowboy.
God damn it, Gary.
God damn it, Gary.
God damn it, open your fucking ears.
God damn it, open your fucking ears.
God, I'm so confused.
God, I'm so confused.
Good going, F.A.G.
Good going, F.A.G.
Goodbye, Team America.
Goodbye, Team America.
Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.
Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.
Greetings, Mr Johnston.
Greetings, Mr Johnston.
Grobal stabirity unravels.
Grobal stabirity unravels.
Guys, are you all right? Where's Lisa?
Guys, are you all right? Where's Lisa?
Guys, guys, guys!
Guys, guys, guys!
Hakmed.
Hakmed.
Hang on, team. Someone has broken into the hangar.
Hang on, team. Someone has broken into the hangar.
Hans Brix? Oh, no.
Hans Brix? Oh, no.
Hans, you're breaking my barrs here. Hans, you're breaking my barrs.
Hans, you're breaking my barrs here. Hans, you're breaking my barrs.
Have Sarah and Joe lock on to our...
Have Sarah and Joe lock on to our...
Having so little faith in humanity must make you a very lonely man.
Having so little faith in humanity must make you a very lonely man.
He asks what part of the deal you did not understand.
He asks what part of the deal you did not understand.
He proved it last night by sucking my cock.
He proved it last night by sucking my cock.
He says perhaps his translator did not make it clear to you.
He says perhaps his translator did not make it clear to you.
He was terrible in that film
He was terrible in that film
He was terrible in that film
He was terrible in that film
He was the jock, and I was the little performer.
He was the jock, and I was the little performer.
He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees
He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees
He's a man who knows
He's a man who knows
He's a natural born leader.
He's a natural born leader.
He's my hero.
He's my hero.
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now.
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now.
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now.
He's way better than Ben Affleck And now.
Hello, young man. Congratulations on a terrific performance.
Hello, young man. Congratulations on a terrific performance.
Hello? Anybody?
Hello? Anybody?
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here, let me loose. I'll show you where the theater is.
Here, let me loose. I'll show you where the theater is.
Here, Spottswoode's monitoring from the base.
Here, Spottswoode's monitoring from the base.
Here, you'd better have this.
Here, you'd better have this.
Herro?
Herro?
Hey, Baxter.
Hey, Baxter.
Hey, guys, I think we should pull over.
Hey, guys, I think we should pull over.
Hey, have you ever thought of telling Sarah how you feel?
Hey, have you ever thought of telling Sarah how you feel?
Hey, hold on a second, are you from Hollywood?
Hey, hold on a second, are you from Hollywood?
Hey, Sarah, do you mind if I dance with you?
Hey, Sarah, do you mind if I dance with you?
Hey, terrorist.
Hey, terrorist.
Hey, that's here.
Hey, that's here.
Hey, weren't you the actor in that Broadway show?
Hey, weren't you the actor in that Broadway show?
Hey, yeah, it is you. Do that scene where everyone gets AIDS.
Hey, yeah, it is you. Do that scene where everyone gets AIDS.
Hey, you don't need to see my credentials.
Hey, you don't need to see my credentials.
Hope it's as good as they say it is.
Hope it's as good as they say it is.
How do you make yourself so somber and emotional
How do you make yourself so somber and emotional
How is it my responsibility to do something?
How is it my responsibility to do something?
How we gonna do that?
How we gonna do that?
How you rike that, you fucking cocksucker?
How you rike that, you fucking cocksucker?
Hundreds of people turned out at Mount Rushmore today to protest.
Hundreds of people turned out at Mount Rushmore today to protest.
Hurry, friend. We must make our escape.
Hurry, friend. We must make our escape.
I am not. The others tied me up
I am not. The others tied me up
I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up.
I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up.
I am still in the process of recruiting
I am still in the process of recruiting
I believe you can do this, Gary.
I believe you can do this, Gary.
I can't fight terrorists. I don't know anything about guns or jets.
I can't fight terrorists. I don't know anything about guns or jets.
I cannot berieve that I actually have a Chechnyan standing here
I cannot berieve that I actually have a Chechnyan standing here
I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed
I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed
I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help.
I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help.
I couldn't wait to see it.
I couldn't wait to see it.
I don't act any more. I gave that up.
I don't act any more. I gave that up.
I don't have any weapons of mass destruction, okay, Hans?
I don't have any weapons of mass destruction, okay, Hans?
I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world,
I don't know much in this crazy, crazy world,
I don't know nothing about fancy cars and fancy restaurants.
I don't know nothing about fancy cars and fancy restaurants.
I don't know. But I think I see it, too.
I don't know. But I think I see it, too.
I don't need one heartbeat I need two.
I don't need one heartbeat I need two.
I don't want the guilt, I don't want the shame
I don't want the guilt, I don't want the shame
I fell in.
I fell in.
I got him, Carson. He's heading for the Louvre.
I got him, Carson. He's heading for the Louvre.
I got my reasons.
I got my reasons.
I got something for you.
I got something for you.
I got you, Sarah.
I got you, Sarah.
I guess you're with me, cockfag.
I guess you're with me, cockfag.
I had to come back.
I had to come back.
I hate to break this to you, Gary,
I hate to break this to you, Gary,
I have an incredible offer for you, Gary. If you're interested, follow me this way.
I have an incredible offer for you, Gary. If you're interested, follow me this way.
I have worked ten years on this pran.
I have worked ten years on this pran.
I heard there might be a large terrorist attack.
I heard there might be a large terrorist attack.
I just don't know how you do it, Gary.
I just don't know how you do it, Gary.
I know about Carson.
I know about Carson.
I know how it feels.
I know how it feels.
I know I walked out, but I'd do anything to take it back.
I know I walked out, but I'd do anything to take it back.
I know you all don't like Team America a whole lot right now,
I know you all don't like Team America a whole lot right now,
I know. And so are the triggers to WMDs poised all around the globe.
I know. And so are the triggers to WMDs poised all around the globe.
I left them at home and I'm running late.
I left them at home and I'm running late.
I like balls.
I like balls.
I lost her.
I lost her.
I love your balls.
I love your balls.
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark.
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark.
I need this, I need love I need you
I need this, I need love I need you
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school.
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school.
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school.
I need you like Ben Affleck Needs acting school.
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part.
I need you like Cuba Gooding Needed a bigger part.
I promise. I will never die.
I promise. I will never die.
I remember the first time we met.
I remember the first time we met.
I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
I said I'd never die. But now I'm dead inside.
I said I'd never die. But now I'm dead inside.
I sense that I'm becoming attracted to Gary.
I sense that I'm becoming attracted to Gary.
I sense that you're slightly confused right now.
I sense that you're slightly confused right now.
I swear they won't reach this stage.
I swear they won't reach this stage.
I think I can finally let it go.
I think I can finally let it go.
I think I know just what we need.
I think I know just what we need.
I think it's better than all right. It's great!
I think it's better than all right. It's great!
I told you.
I told you.
I treasure yours, Lisa.
I treasure yours, Lisa.
I tried to leave, but Rumpleteazer held me down and...
I tried to leave, but Rumpleteazer held me down and...
I wanna take a detour.
I wanna take a detour.
I want to believe in you, Gary, I really do.
I want to believe in you, Gary, I really do.
I was 19 years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
I was 19 years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
I was doing a lot of thinking on the ride over here.
I was doing a lot of thinking on the ride over here.
I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit.
I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit.
I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village
I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village
I was just thinking.
I was just thinking.
I was just wondering if I can let go of an old, painful memory.
I was just wondering if I can let go of an old, painful memory.
I was ****d by Mr Mistoffelees.
I was ****d by Mr Mistoffelees.
I was sent from planet Gyron To conquer the Earth
I was sent from planet Gyron To conquer the Earth
I was thinking that I want you to marry me.
I was thinking that I want you to marry me.
I will detonate the WMDs
I will detonate the WMDs
I will return!
I will return!
I work rearry hard And make up great prans.
I work rearry hard And make up great prans.
I work rearry hard And make up great prans.
I work rearry hard And make up great prans.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. has intercepted communications
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. has intercepted communications
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. tells us the attack is imminent.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. tells us the attack is imminent.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., initiate detonation sequence on the ships.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., initiate detonation sequence on the ships.
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., what the hell happened?
I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., what the hell happened?
I'd like to buy you a beer.
I'd like to buy you a beer.
I'll give you all the time I can.
I'll give you all the time I can.
I'll just be ronery.
I'll just be ronery.
I'll make sure nobody's watching.
I'll make sure nobody's watching.
I'll make them see Everyone has AIDS.
I'll make them see Everyone has AIDS.
I'll never act again.
I'll never act again.
I'm afraid it could be 9/11 times 1,000.
I'm afraid it could be 9/11 times 1,000.
I'm afraid your world is over.
I'm afraid your world is over.
I'm clearing your minds of all anxiety.
I'm clearing your minds of all anxiety.
I'm completely lost. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm completely lost. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm glad you all agree.
I'm glad you all agree.
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
I'm gonna have to breach.
I'm gonna have to breach.
I'm not going anywhere with this fucking traitor.
I'm not going anywhere with this fucking traitor.
I'm not going to fuck your mouth, and my time is extremely valuable.
I'm not going to fuck your mouth, and my time is extremely valuable.
I'm on it. Just hang on, Sarah.
I'm on it. Just hang on, Sarah.
I'm pranning the attack.
I'm pranning the attack.
I'm ronery.
I'm ronery.
I'm ronery.
I'm ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm so ronery.
I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I am.
I'm sorry I'm not the man you think I am.
I'm sorry I've been so hard on you.
I'm sorry I've been so hard on you.
I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you.
I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you.
I'm sorry, Lisa. I didn't mean to bring up...
I'm sorry, Lisa. I didn't mean to bring up...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm supposed to leave the fate of the world in your hands?
I'm supposed to leave the fate of the world in your hands?
I'm using it to blow up North Korea.
I'm using it to blow up North Korea.
I've got Korean aircraft at one o'clock.
I've got Korean aircraft at one o'clock.
I've got one on my tail!
I've got one on my tail!
I've gotta bail out.
I've gotta bail out.
I've heard a lot about your acting, Mr Johnston.
I've heard a lot about your acting, Mr Johnston.
I've intercepted communications that several terrorist groups
I've intercepted communications that several terrorist groups
I've just got one piece of bad news for you, Robbins.
I've just got one piece of bad news for you, Robbins.
If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice?
If asked to make the ultimate sacrifice?
If I mess up here,
If I mess up here,
If I mess up here,
If I mess up here,
If there's still a world left when this is all over,
If there's still a world left when this is all over,
If violence is all those bastards understand, then violence they'll get.
If violence is all those bastards understand, then violence they'll get.
If we focus our acting on global politics,
If we focus our acting on global politics,
If you did that, I would make love to you right now.
If you did that, I would make love to you right now.
If you fade out It seems like more time has passed.
If you fade out It seems like more time has passed.
If you tell me what it is, maybe I could help out.
If you tell me what it is, maybe I could help out.
If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom?
If you were asked to give up your dreams for freedom?
If you were asked to give up Your dreams for freedom?
If you were asked to give up Your dreams for freedom?
If you're going to storm Kim Jong II's palace single handed,
If you're going to storm Kim Jong II's palace single handed,
If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us the information we need
If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us the information we need
In a different way.
In a different way.
In a secret bunker 20 yards east of this building.
In a secret bunker 20 yards east of this building.
In anything, if you want to go.
In anything, if you want to go.
In anything, if you want to go.
In anything, if you want to go.
In five minutes.
In five minutes.
In San Francisco.
In San Francisco.
In the box to your reft is the mastermind of this spectacurar show,
In the box to your reft is the mastermind of this spectacurar show,
In the meantime, the world wants to deal with dangerous individuals
In the meantime, the world wants to deal with dangerous individuals
In the midst of the chaos,
In the midst of the chaos,
In their BLACK HAWK helicopters.
In their BLACK HAWK helicopters.
In their corporation buildings, and, see, they're all corporation y,
In their corporation buildings, and, see, they're all corporation y,
Is a dick with some balls.
Is a dick with some balls.
Is also jumping on the Fuck Team America bandwagon.
Is also jumping on the Fuck Team America bandwagon.
Is an international criminal. We're here to arrest him.
Is an international criminal. We're here to arrest him.
Is it anything that you wanna talk about?
Is it anything that you wanna talk about?
Is Pearl Harbor sucked.
Is Pearl Harbor sucked.
Isn't that right, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?
Isn't that right, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?
It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. was wrong
It appears now that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. was wrong
It is a very precise and a compricated pran.
It is a very precise and a compricated pran.
It was on that day I put a jihad on them.
It was on that day I put a jihad on them.
It will be years before the terrorists have the resources to attack again.
It will be years before the terrorists have the resources to attack again.
It would be 9/11 times 100.
It would be 9/11 times 100.
It's all right. We'll kill these guys, then we'll find out what she wants.
It's all right. We'll kill these guys, then we'll find out what she wants.
It's just... Things are really complicated, Gary.
It's just... Things are really complicated, Gary.
It's me. It's me.
It's me. It's me.
It's not that hard, really. I just think about the saddest moment in my life.
It's not that hard, really. I just think about the saddest moment in my life.
It's not who you are, Gary, it's what you stand for.
It's not who you are, Gary, it's what you stand for.
It's okay, Sarah. I treasure your friendship.
It's okay, Sarah. I treasure your friendship.
It's only been a short time, but I think that I'm completely in love...
It's only been a short time, but I think that I'm completely in love...
It's the eye of the needle, Gary, and we must both pass through it.
It's the eye of the needle, Gary, and we must both pass through it.
It's too painful to see them die.
It's too painful to see them die.
It's too soon to be having feelings for you.
It's too soon to be having feelings for you.
It's uncanny.
It's uncanny.
It's what they would want me to do, Gary.
It's what they would want me to do, Gary.
Jackson!
Jackson!
Jesus titty fucking Christ.
Jesus titty fucking Christ.
Jesus titty fucking...
Jesus titty fucking...
Jesus, I've done it again.
Jesus, I've done it again.
Joe has feelings for you?
Joe has feelings for you?
Joe to Sarah. Looks like we may need to order up a wedding cake.
Joe to Sarah. Looks like we may need to order up a wedding cake.
Joe, do you think it's okay for team members to date?
Joe, do you think it's okay for team members to date?
Joe? But you're like a brother to me.
Joe? But you're like a brother to me.
Just a little bit more Than I miss you.
Just a little bit more Than I miss you.
Just give me a chance.
Just give me a chance.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Just think about it, okay? Here, take this.
Just think about it, okay? Here, take this.
Just try to be still.
Just try to be still.
Kill her.
Kill her.
Kill them.
Kill them.
Kim Jong II? Why is he helping terrorists?
Kim Jong II? Why is he helping terrorists?
Last week in Paris, we caught four terrorists
Last week in Paris, we caught four terrorists
Last year I went to Iraq.
Last year I went to Iraq.
Lead the fight And charge the brigades.
Lead the fight And charge the brigades.
Leave her alone, you son of a bitch!
Leave her alone, you son of a bitch!
Leave that to us.
Leave that to us.
Let me explain to you how this works.
Let me explain to you how this works.
Let me go.
Let me go.
Let me see your whole palace, or else.
Let me see your whole palace, or else.
Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you.
Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you.
Let's get ready.
Let's get ready.
Let's go police the world.
Let's go police the world.
Let's go, bitch. I've done action films.
Let's go, bitch. I've done action films.
Let's not talk.
Let's not talk.
Lisa can't help it if Gary has feelings for her.
Lisa can't help it if Gary has feelings for her.
Lisa, I treasure your friendship!
Lisa, I treasure your friendship!
Lisa, I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I...
Lisa, I'm crazy about you. Will you please forgive me if I...
Lisa, you have to live on.
Lisa, you have to live on.
Lisa!
Lisa!
Lisa. Lisa, are you here?
Lisa. Lisa, are you here?
Look out, it's Ethan Hawke and Janeane Garofalo.
Look out, it's Ethan Hawke and Janeane Garofalo.
Look out!
Look out!
Look out! We've got terrorist aircraft.
Look out! We've got terrorist aircraft.
Look, I wanna make things right.
Look, I wanna make things right.
Look, this is my serious face.
Look, this is my serious face.
Looks like George Clooney and Liv Tyler, 20 yards.
Looks like George Clooney and Liv Tyler, 20 yards.
Looks like he's saying, Kiss me. Kiss me.
Looks like he's saying, Kiss me. Kiss me.
Man. Gary is such a great guy.
Man. Gary is such a great guy.
Matt Damon!
Matt Damon!
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
Missed. Wide right.
Missed. Wide right.
Missile lock. I've got missile lock.
Missile lock. I've got missile lock.
Motherfucker.
Motherfucker.
Moved by Baldwin's impassioned speech,
Moved by Baldwin's impassioned speech,
Mr II, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today,
Mr II, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today,
My acting
My acting
My acting?
My acting?
My acting? My acting just got a thousand people killed.
My acting? My acting just got a thousand people killed.
My advice is not to get involved with a team member, Sarah.
My advice is not to get involved with a team member, Sarah.
My fellow actors, we live in a dark time.
My fellow actors, we live in a dark time.
My God, his acting is better than ever.
My God, his acting is better than ever.
My God, that's... I don't even know what that is.
My God, that's... I don't even know what that is.
My name is Hakmed. I'm a terrorist.
My name is Hakmed. I'm a terrorist.
My only bright star.
My only bright star.
My only true pal.
My only true pal.
My uncle and my cousin And her best friend.
My uncle and my cousin And her best friend.
Namely, us.
Namely, us.
Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
Nine hundred and eleven thousand.
No, I think I'd rather team up with you, Joe.
No, I think I'd rather team up with you, Joe.
No, no, no. Wait, wait, hold on.
No, no, no. Wait, wait, hold on.
No, of course not, Joe.
No, of course not, Joe.
No, there's a hefty fucking fee.
No, there's a hefty fucking fee.
No, there's a hefty fucking fee.
No, there's a hefty fucking fee.
No, you just didn't care if you did.
No, you just didn't care if you did.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No.
No.
No. Blame Team America.
No. Blame Team America.
No. He can't be dead.
No. He can't be dead.
No. It would be a suicide mission.
No. It would be a suicide mission.
No. We can't look weak and powerless.
No. We can't look weak and powerless.
No. You think so small.
No. You think so small.
Nobody does.
Nobody does.
Nothing to it.
Nothing to it.
Now that the world is going to be run peacefully,
Now that the world is going to be run peacefully,
Now we've got to get Lisa and stop Kim Jong II.
Now we've got to get Lisa and stop Kim Jong II.
Now you've gone away.
Now you've gone away.
Now, come on, Sarah, that isn't fair.
Now, come on, Sarah, that isn't fair.
Now, isn't that a shame.
Now, isn't that a shame.
Now, let's go get cleaned up.
Now, let's go get cleaned up.
Now, suck my cock.
Now, suck my cock.
Now, take your weapons of mass destruction
Now, take your weapons of mass destruction
Now, team, your mission will be to get Gary into that tavern.
Now, team, your mission will be to get Gary into that tavern.
Of course, Derka Derkastan.
Of course, Derka Derkastan.
Oh, Carson. Carson...
Oh, Carson. Carson...
Oh, come on, Sarah. You mean you never realized
Oh, come on, Sarah. You mean you never realized
Oh, God, no.
Oh, God, no.
Oh, good. I'm so glad you think so.
Oh, good. I'm so glad you think so.
Oh, herro, great to see you again, Hans.
Oh, herro, great to see you again, Hans.
Oh, herro.
Oh, herro.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, I get it.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, my God. What the hell happened?
Oh, my God. What the hell happened?
Oh, no, we aren't. We're dicks!
Oh, no, we aren't. We're dicks!
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, no, you're not.
Oh, thank you. I don't believe we've met, Mr...?
Oh, thank you. I don't believe we've met, Mr...?
Oh, yeah? About what?
Oh, yeah? About what?
Okay, a limousine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Okay, a limousine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Okay, go.
Okay, go.
Okay, have a nice day.
Okay, have a nice day.
Okay, I'll show you, Hans. You ready?
Okay, I'll show you, Hans. You ready?
Okay, let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
On screen.
On screen.
One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say,
One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say,
One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla, who tossed him to another.
One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla, who tossed him to another.
One of the terrorists is trying to tell us something.
One of the terrorists is trying to tell us something.
Only a woman Can brighten up my day.
Only a woman Can brighten up my day.
Only a woman Can touch me the right way, yeah.
Only a woman Can touch me the right way, yeah.
Only a woman Is allowed to touch me there.
Only a woman Is allowed to touch me there.
Only if you could promise me you'll never die.
Only if you could promise me you'll never die.
Onstage, if I mess up a line, it could mean a bad review.
Onstage, if I mess up a line, it could mean a bad review.
Or else we will be very, very angry with you.
Or else we will be very, very angry with you.
Or else what?
Or else what?
Or should I say,
Or should I say,
Our dear leader, Kim Jong II, says the weapons of mass destruction
Our dear leader, Kim Jong II, says the weapons of mass destruction
Our only hope is to have somebody act like a terrorist
Our only hope is to have somebody act like a terrorist
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Pearl Harbor sucked.
Perhaps they'll stop in and say herro.
Perhaps they'll stop in and say herro.
Perhaps we can be ready sooner.
Perhaps we can be ready sooner.
Please, Gary, step into my car.
Please, Gary, step into my car.
Please, Gary, step into my car.
Please, Gary, step into my car.
Please, how can I make you trust me?
Please, how can I make you trust me?
Please, Mr Sheen, Mr Robbins,
Please, Mr Sheen, Mr Robbins,
Please, Spottswoode, you have to believe in me.
Please, Spottswoode, you have to believe in me.
Poor rittle me
Poor rittle me
Poor rittle me
Poor rittle me
Poor rittle me.
Poor rittle me.
Pranet Gyron is inhabited With Zypods rike me.
Pranet Gyron is inhabited With Zypods rike me.
Protesting is not enough.
Protesting is not enough.
Pull over, let them pass us, and when they turn around, we charge them.
Pull over, let them pass us, and when they turn around, we charge them.
Pull over? Yes, of course.
Pull over? Yes, of course.
Pull yourself together, Gary. We need you now more than ever.
Pull yourself together, Gary. We need you now more than ever.
Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way.
Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way.
Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time
Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just wanna fuck all the time
Put down the gas can now.
Put down the gas can now.
Put down your weapons now!
Put down your weapons now!
Radies and gentlemen.
Radies and gentlemen.
Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Remember, if you think they're onto you, give us the signal.
Remember, if you think they're onto you, give us the signal.
Remember, there is no I in Team America.
Remember, there is no I in Team America.
Remind everyone Of what's going on.
Remind everyone Of what's going on.
Remind everyone Of what's going on.
Remind everyone Of what's going on.
Right here.
Right here.
Right now famiries are gathering in parks,
Right now famiries are gathering in parks,
Right this way, you maverick renegade.
Right this way, you maverick renegade.
Right.
Right.
Rook how much they rove my show. The entire audience is so captivated.
Rook how much they rove my show. The entire audience is so captivated.
Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg.
Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg.
Samuel Jackson.
Samuel Jackson.
Sarah, before we die, I want to finally tell you that I love you.
Sarah, before we die, I want to finally tell you that I love you.
Sarah, he's got the bomb. You got a fix?
Sarah, he's got the bomb. You got a fix?
Sarah, really?
Sarah, really?
Sarah, that isn't going to work. You don't really have mental powers.
Sarah, that isn't going to work. You don't really have mental powers.
Sarah, you and Gary go that way. Chris and I will go right.
Sarah, you and Gary go that way. Chris and I will go right.
Sarah, you did it!
Sarah, you did it!
Sarah, you know I didn't mean to hurt you.
Sarah, you know I didn't mean to hurt you.
Sarah's a professional at skin grafting and laser valmoriphication.
Sarah's a professional at skin grafting and laser valmoriphication.
Say hello to our new partner.
Say hello to our new partner.
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry.
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry.
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry.
Seems rike no one Takes me seriousry.
Shit, they got by me.
Shit, they got by me.
Shit. I've got five terrorists going southeast on Baka laka daka Street.
Shit. I've got five terrorists going southeast on Baka laka daka Street.
Shoot them down. Rike dogs.
Shoot them down. Rike dogs.
Show a lot of things Happening at once.
Show a lot of things Happening at once.
Show a lot of things Happening at once.
Show a lot of things Happening at once.
Show us what you're doing, Kim Jong II.
Show us what you're doing, Kim Jong II.
Shut up. We have explicit instructions to watch you.
Shut up. We have explicit instructions to watch you.
Sir, I am intercepting communications about the terrorists' identities.
Sir, I am intercepting communications about the terrorists' identities.
Sit up and take a look, Gary.
Sit up and take a look, Gary.
Sitting on my rittle throne
Sitting on my rittle throne
Sitting on my rittle throne
Sitting on my rittle throne
Smartass motherfucker.
Smartass motherfucker.
So lick my butt And suck on my balls.
So lick my butt And suck on my balls.
So lick my butt And suck on my balls.
So lick my butt And suck on my balls.
So now you see why we need you.
So now you see why we need you.
So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while
So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while
So ronery and sadry arone.
So ronery and sadry arone.
So ronery and sadry arone.
So ronery and sadry arone.
So ronery.
So ronery.
So rong, earthrings!
So rong, earthrings!
So that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?
So that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?
So that when you pee, it shoots out in all different directions. You got it?
So that when you pee, it shoots out in all different directions. You got it?
So this terrorist is shooting at us from the back of his jeep, and he...
So this terrorist is shooting at us from the back of his jeep, and he...
So we wanted a new home And that's what Earth was for.
So we wanted a new home And that's what Earth was for.
So you're the bastard planning 9/11 times 1,000.
So you're the bastard planning 9/11 times 1,000.
So... So, what, you're just gonna shut down?
So... So, what, you're just gonna shut down?
Some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled.
Some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled.
Somebody has to stop this!
Somebody has to stop this!
Sometimes believing is all we have.
Sometimes believing is all we have.
Sometimes believing is all we have.
Sometimes believing is all we have.
Sorry to interrupt the show, everyone, but Kim Jong II
Sorry to interrupt the show, everyone, but Kim Jong II
Sorry, babe. Looks like this was a one way ticket.
Sorry, babe. Looks like this was a one way ticket.
Sorry, Team America, but you see, we must live in a time of peace.
Sorry, Team America, but you see, we must live in a time of peace.
Spottswoode, it's Lisa. Gary found the WMDs and the terrorists are down.
Spottswoode, it's Lisa. Gary found the WMDs and the terrorists are down.
Spottswoode? He's alive?
Spottswoode? He's alive?
Stand a rittle to your reft.
Stand a rittle to your reft.
Still, I'd love to show her a full moon night on the cornfields.
Still, I'd love to show her a full moon night on the cornfields.
Stop it, Chris. I sense that you're making him feel intimidated.
Stop it, Chris. I sense that you're making him feel intimidated.
Stop it! Stop it, you're killing him!
Stop it! Stop it, you're killing him!
Stop that man.
Stop that man.
Surprise, cockfags!
Surprise, cockfags!
Taking credit were terrorists from Derka Derkastan.
Taking credit were terrorists from Derka Derkastan.
Team America has once again pissed off the entire world
Team America has once again pissed off the entire world
Team America, the blood of the victims of Panama is on your hands.
Team America, the blood of the victims of Panama is on your hands.
Team, if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction,
Team, if the Derka Derkastanis have weapons of mass destruction,
Team, there's no time. You have to convince that audience
Team, there's no time. You have to convince that audience
Team, you've got to hurry.
Team, you've got to hurry.
Ten minutes, Mr Baldwin.
Ten minutes, Mr Baldwin.
Terring me when he's gonna take a derivery.
Terring me when he's gonna take a derivery.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorists, your game is through.
Terrorize this.
Terrorize this.
Terrorize this.
Terrorize this.
Thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.
Thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.
That doesn't matter. If you want to help people,
That doesn't matter. If you want to help people,
That handles dangerous people with talk and reasoning.
That handles dangerous people with talk and reasoning.
That he is 100% committed to the team.
That he is 100% committed to the team.
That terrorists from different countries are gathering at a tavern here, in Cairo.
That terrorists from different countries are gathering at a tavern here, in Cairo.
That they become assholes themselves.
That they become assholes themselves.
That was bad, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
That was bad, I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.
That was the greatest acting I've ever seen.
That was the greatest acting I've ever seen.
That what the world needs is compassion, not violence.
That what the world needs is compassion, not violence.
That when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact.
That when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact.
That's all I ever am. Like a brother. It isn't fair.
That's all I ever am. Like a brother. It isn't fair.
That's all right. I feel a little bit like dying.
That's all right. I feel a little bit like dying.
That's all spying is, acting. And they say you're the best.
That's all spying is, acting. And they say you're the best.
That's right, actor. Just stay the fuck away from me.
That's right, actor. Just stay the fuck away from me.
That's right. All right, good luck.
That's right. All right, good luck.
That's supposed to be Carson's replacement, a fucking actor?
That's supposed to be Carson's replacement, a fucking actor?
That's when I trigger all the WMDs to go off at the same time.
That's when I trigger all the WMDs to go off at the same time.
That's why I brew your head off And your children are all bawring.
That's why I brew your head off And your children are all bawring.
That's why they call it acting. Come on, we gotta find Lisa.
That's why they call it acting. Come on, we gotta find Lisa.
That's why you don't trust actors.
That's why you don't trust actors.
The film actors are on their way.
The film actors are on their way.
The Film Actors Guild believes
The Film Actors Guild believes
The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.
The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.
The gorillas just went wild.
The gorillas just went wild.
The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah.
The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah.
The most important people from every country
The most important people from every country
The most sophisticated computer in the world.
The most sophisticated computer in the world.
The multitarented Kim Jong II.
The multitarented Kim Jong II.
The name is Spottswoode.
The name is Spottswoode.
The next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll drill two holes through your dick
The next time you pull a stunt like that, I'll drill two holes through your dick
The only thing standing in their way is us.
The only thing standing in their way is us.
The people will break out into panic and rioting all over the Earth.
The people will break out into panic and rioting all over the Earth.
The person who supplied them with WMDs?
The person who supplied them with WMDs?
The single greatest actor of all time.
The single greatest actor of all time.
The terrorists are planning new ways
The terrorists are planning new ways
The terrorists are planning something very big.
The terrorists are planning something very big.
The terrorists claim that the attack was a retaliation
The terrorists claim that the attack was a retaliation
The terrorists know to be in position by the time Arec Barrwin takes the stage.
The terrorists know to be in position by the time Arec Barrwin takes the stage.
The time has come for us to start using our acting talents
The time has come for us to start using our acting talents
The top empath from Berkeley's School for the Clairvoyant
The top empath from Berkeley's School for the Clairvoyant
The war is out there, man. Out there. Now, pull it together.
The war is out there, man. Out there. Now, pull it together.
The world can become a better place
The world can become a better place
The Zypods and the Barmacks Are at constant war.
The Zypods and the Barmacks Are at constant war.
The... Global warming and... Corporate America...
The... Global warming and... Corporate America...
Their computers are down. Attack!
Their computers are down. Attack!
Their own way.
Their own way.
Their reckless disregard in Cairo brought on this violence today.
Their reckless disregard in Cairo brought on this violence today.
Then forget all these assholes. We got work to do.
Then forget all these assholes. We got work to do.
Then if I go down on you, I get a movie part.
Then if I go down on you, I get a movie part.
Then what about all the things you promised last night?
Then what about all the things you promised last night?
Then you show credentials.
Then you show credentials.
There will be music, dancing and, of course,
There will be music, dancing and, of course,
There you go, Hans Brix.
There you go, Hans Brix.
There's just one problem. I don't look Middle Eastern.
There's just one problem. I don't look Middle Eastern.
There's no chance we can ever be together?
There's no chance we can ever be together?
There's no one Just me onry.
There's no one Just me onry.
There's no one Just me onry.
There's no one Just me onry.
There's nobody I can rerate to.
There's nobody I can rerate to.
There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong II.
There's nobody left to stop Kim Jong II.
There's only five of them, team. This should be easy.
There's only five of them, team. This should be easy.
They are just as bad as the enemies they fight.
They are just as bad as the enemies they fight.
They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies
They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies
They have been taken prisoner by Kim Jong II in North Korea.
They have been taken prisoner by Kim Jong II in North Korea.
They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll
They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll
They would happily give their lives for the good of the world,
They would happily give their lives for the good of the world,
This audience and I will rise up against you.
This audience and I will rise up against you.
This is a peace conference.
This is a peace conference.
This is crazy. I'm an actor, not a spy.
This is crazy. I'm an actor, not a spy.
This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust.
This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust.
To a faburous show. But now party's over.
To a faburous show. But now party's over.
To find out any information you can from the terrorists.
To find out any information you can from the terrorists.
To get to those blueberries.
To get to those blueberries.
To kill you and everyone else who lives in a free country.
To kill you and everyone else who lives in a free country.
To lay everything on the line.
To lay everything on the line.
To make everybody cry like that?
To make everybody cry like that?
To stop this whole thing from happening.
To stop this whole thing from happening.
To the International World Peace Ceremony.
To the International World Peace Ceremony.
To throw away all your inhibitions and give 100%.
To throw away all your inhibitions and give 100%.
Tom, it looks like filmmaker Michael Moore
Tom, it looks like filmmaker Michael Moore
Top gun actor.
Top gun actor.
Us actors really are.
Us actors really are.
Usually a case of malignant narcissism brought on during childhood.
Usually a case of malignant narcissism brought on during childhood.
Very impressive, warmongers.
Very impressive, warmongers.
Wait. Hold on.
Wait. Hold on.
Wait. Hold on.
Wait. Hold on.
We are not your enemy, furry ones. You will not attack us.
We are not your enemy, furry ones. You will not attack us.
We better warn everyone. They'll be headed here.
We better warn everyone. They'll be headed here.
We can change everything and stuff.
We can change everything and stuff.
We can take out the Derka Derkastanis the old fashioned way.
We can take out the Derka Derkastanis the old fashioned way.
We gotta split up.
We gotta split up.
We have to find out who did this and take them down. Fast.
We have to find out who did this and take them down. Fast.
We have to make you a complete soldier in very little time.
We have to make you a complete soldier in very little time.
We have to stop the ceremony. Kim Jong II is mad.
We have to stop the ceremony. Kim Jong II is mad.
We must go back to that first night we met, that first issue of trust.
We must go back to that first night we met, that first issue of trust.
We must take radical action against the fascists in our own country.
We must take radical action against the fascists in our own country.
We need you to act like a Middle Eastern terrorist right away.
We need you to act like a Middle Eastern terrorist right away.
We should all drive hybrid cars.
We should all drive hybrid cars.
We stopped the terrorists.
We stopped the terrorists.
We take weapons later.
We take weapons later.
We were angry about Cairo.
We were angry about Cairo.
We will disguise you as a terrorist and take you deep into the Middle East.
We will disguise you as a terrorist and take you deep into the Middle East.
We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong II.
We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong II.
We'll never pay that bill.
We'll never pay that bill.
We're all dead.
We're all dead.
We're going to take their lives and our own.
We're going to take their lives and our own.
We're gonna be unstoppable with you on the team, Gary.
We're gonna be unstoppable with you on the team, Gary.
We're gonna break down These barricades.
We're gonna break down These barricades.
We're gonna break down These barricades.
We're gonna break down These barricades.
We're gonna what?
We're gonna what?
We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks.
We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks.
We've all done action films.
We've all done action films.
We've been doing our best to keep the world safe, Gary.
We've been doing our best to keep the world safe, Gary.
Welcome to Team Base.
Welcome to Team Base.
Well, being a dick ain't so bad.
Well, being a dick ain't so bad.
Well, fuck you. You want inspection?
Well, fuck you. You want inspection?
Well, I don't want the fucking power!
Well, I don't want the fucking power!
Well, I'm gonna march on Washington.
Well, I'm gonna march on Washington.
Well, inspect that, you buttfucking piece of shit.
Well, inspect that, you buttfucking piece of shit.
Well, you'll probably want to take your own life.
Well, you'll probably want to take your own life.
Well, your rittle dream will soon be over.
Well, your rittle dream will soon be over.
What do you know about pain and sadness?
What do you know about pain and sadness?
What do you know?
What do you know?
What if he's not the great actor Spottswoode says he is?
What if he's not the great actor Spottswoode says he is?
What makes you think we'll take you back, douchebag?
What makes you think we'll take you back, douchebag?
What the heck do you care? You walked out on her.
What the heck do you care? You walked out on her.
What the hell are you doing here?
What the hell are you doing here?
What the world needs is an international advisory committee
What the world needs is an international advisory committee
What would a girl like Sarah want with a simple Nebraska boy like me?
What would a girl like Sarah want with a simple Nebraska boy like me?
What would you do if asked To make the ultimate sacrifice?
What would you do if asked To make the ultimate sacrifice?
What would you do.
What would you do.
What would you do.
What would you do.
What would you do.
What would you do.
What you gonna do When we come for you now?
What you gonna do When we come for you now?
What, you think I'm just a petty arms dearer?
What, you think I'm just a petty arms dearer?
What? Come on, Martin!
What? Come on, Martin!
What? You fools. They'll ruin everything.
What? You fools. They'll ruin everything.
When he made Pearl Harbor
When he made Pearl Harbor
When I change the world Maybe they'll notice me.
When I change the world Maybe they'll notice me.
When you see Arec Barrwin,
When you see Arec Barrwin,
Who gave up everything they had?
Who gave up everything they had?
Who is bringing all the world leaders together
Who is bringing all the world leaders together
Who is to blame for these attacks in Panama?
Who is to blame for these attacks in Panama?
Who the hell you?
Who the hell you?
Who truly understands global politics.
Who truly understands global politics.
Who wants to help them carry out the attack.
Who wants to help them carry out the attack.
Why aren't more people interrigent? Rike me?
Why aren't more people interrigent? Rike me?
Why does Michael Bay Get to keep on making movies?
Why does Michael Bay Get to keep on making movies?
Why don't you trust actors, Chris?
Why don't you trust actors, Chris?
Why don't you trust actors, Chris?
Why don't you trust actors, Chris?
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Why me? Why am I the only one?
Why me? Why am I the only one?
Why? What did I do to them? I'm just a Broadway actor.
Why? What did I do to them? I'm just a Broadway actor.
Why? What reason do you have to believe?
Why? What reason do you have to believe?
Will perform oral sex on me.
Will perform oral sex on me.
With a double major in theater and world languages.
With a double major in theater and world languages.
With nobody to guide them,
With nobody to guide them,
Without thinking it through.
Without thinking it through.
Without you, the team is doomed.
Without you, the team is doomed.
World Police. Get down on the ground!
World Police. Get down on the ground!
Yeah, a rittle ronery.
Yeah, a rittle ronery.
Yeah, I'll bet you do.
Yeah, I'll bet you do.
Yeah, it looks clear.
Yeah, it looks clear.
Yeah, no, I know. It's terrible, terrible.
Yeah, no, I know. It's terrible, terrible.
Yeah, there's a lot of that going around lately.
Yeah, there's a lot of that going around lately.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Do you think it's all right?
Yeah. Do you think it's all right?
Yes, 91,100.
Yes, 91,100.
Yes, Arec Barrwin. Too bad there won't be a world reft.
Yes, Arec Barrwin. Too bad there won't be a world reft.
Yes, let's get Gary valmorphanized so he can use his acting.
Yes, let's get Gary valmorphanized so he can use his acting.
Yes, perhaps you can.
Yes, perhaps you can.
Yes, the ticking crock.
Yes, the ticking crock.
Yes, we can use our powers to change the world.
Yes, we can use our powers to change the world.
You all right, Gary?
You all right, Gary?
You are dedicated.
You are dedicated.
You are the rast of a dying breed, the frag waving American.
You are the rast of a dying breed, the frag waving American.
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
You are worthress, Arec Barrwin.
You berieve in true rove and happy endings
You berieve in true rove and happy endings
You came so close to stopping peace.
You came so close to stopping peace.
You can help us by guarding it and making...
You can help us by guarding it and making...
You can't out act me, boy. Don't even try.
You can't out act me, boy. Don't even try.
You deserve...
You deserve...
You don't understand what Kim Jong II is doing.
You don't understand what Kim Jong II is doing.
You failed in every way And now my stock in you has farren.
You failed in every way And now my stock in you has farren.
You fucked up my whole pran.
You fucked up my whole pran.
You gave up on life, didn't you?
You gave up on life, didn't you?
You had me at dicks fuck assholes.
You had me at dicks fuck assholes.
You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong II.
You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong II.
You have to stop it.
You have to stop it.
You heartless bastard. Why would you do such a thing?
You heartless bastard. Why would you do such a thing?
You in the robes. Put down the weapon of mass destruction
You in the robes. Put down the weapon of mass destruction
You know I can't promise that.
You know I can't promise that.
You like Gary?
You like Gary?
You lose.
You lose.
You might have all the others fooled, but not me.
You might have all the others fooled, but not me.
You really made the world a better place, didn't you, F.A.G.?
You really made the world a better place, didn't you, F.A.G.?
You remember the signal?
You remember the signal?
You requested are ready for you to take.
You requested are ready for you to take.
You said you'd never leave.
You said you'd never leave.
You see, I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony.
You see, I'm about to have an eraborate peace ceremony.
You see? All I do is hurt people.
You see? All I do is hurt people.
You see? No Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to save the day.
You see? No Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to save the day.
You shall die a peasant's death!
You shall die a peasant's death!
You shall have a front row seat.
You shall have a front row seat.
You slept with Gary?
You slept with Gary?
You stupid, naive Team Americans.
You stupid, naive Team Americans.
You walked out, Gary. The team went on a mission without you.
You walked out, Gary. The team went on a mission without you.
You were a simple Broadway actor afraid to get in my limo
You were a simple Broadway actor afraid to get in my limo
You will see the true ugriness of human nature.
You will see the true ugriness of human nature.
You?
You?
You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit.
You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit.
You'll kill them all.
You'll kill them all.
You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for nine hours.
You'll never keep the world leaders distracted here for nine hours.
You're gonna knock them dead, Alec.
You're gonna knock them dead, Alec.
You're not in a position to kill anyone, my red, white and brue friend.
You're not in a position to kill anyone, my red, white and brue friend.
You're saying if I do that, you'll let me help the team?
You're saying if I do that, you'll let me help the team?
You're the finest actor I've ever met.
You're the finest actor I've ever met.
You've been at the top of every acting class since you were a child.
You've been at the top of every acting class since you were a child.
Your acting was reckless and it put us all in danger.
Your acting was reckless and it put us all in danger.
Your captors are behind you, Shebas. Show your anger to them.
Your captors are behind you, Shebas. Show your anger to them.
Your career is starring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin.
Your career is starring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin.
Your countries need you. But the world will be safe,
Your countries need you. But the world will be safe,
Your garbage needs some hauring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin.
Your garbage needs some hauring And you're worthress, Arec Barrwin.
Your skills are fading with age, Miss Sarandon.
Your skills are fading with age, Miss Sarandon.
9/11 times 100? Jesus, that's...
9/11 times 100? Jesus, that's...
Actors, ho! Helen Hunt.
Actors, ho! Helen Hunt.
Alec Baldwin? Gary?
Alec Baldwin? Gary?
Alec, we have a problem. Team America escaped.
Alec, we have a problem. Team America escaped.
All right, Gary! Told you he was top gun.
All right, Gary! Told you he was top gun.
All right, Sarah. Yeah, all right, team!
All right, Sarah. Yeah, all right, team!
All right, you're alive! Great to hear your voices again.
All right, you're alive! Great to hear your voices again.
All right. No, Chris, stay away from her.
All right. No, Chris, stay away from her.
America. Fuck, yeah
America. Fuck, yeah
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
America. Fuck, yeah.
Baseball. Fuck, yeah.
Baseball. Fuck, yeah.
Baxter? Hey, Team America.
Baxter? Hey, Team America.
Clear. Clear.
Clear. Clear.
Danny Glover! Come on, Penn.
Danny Glover! Come on, Penn.
Dead? They're called terrorists, Gary.
Dead? They're called terrorists, Gary.
Don't joke about that. Who's joking?
Don't joke about that. Who's joking?
Don't you see? No. I thought you weren't gay.
Don't you see? No. I thought you weren't gay.
Even Rocky had a montage. Montage.
Even Rocky had a montage. Montage.
Even Rocky had a montage. Montage.
Even Rocky had a montage. Montage.
Feel so cold. You have to hang on, Carson.
Feel so cold. You have to hang on, Carson.
Five minutes, Mr Baldwin. Thank you.
Five minutes, Mr Baldwin. Thank you.
For I am the great Kim Jong II. Lisa.
For I am the great Kim Jong II. Lisa.
Gary, how did you manage this? Spottswoode helped me.
Gary, how did you manage this? Spottswoode helped me.
Gary, you've got to take the stage. No. I can't upstage Alec Baldwin.
Gary, you've got to take the stage. No. I can't upstage Alec Baldwin.
Girl, we want a montage. Montage.
Girl, we want a montage. Montage.
Going down. God damn it,
Going down. God damn it,
Great job, Gary. Thanks. You, too, Steve.
Great job, Gary. Thanks. You, too, Steve.
Hang on, Joe. Die, infidels.
Hang on, Joe. Die, infidels.
He finally popped the question? Lisa, you're an amazing woman.
He finally popped the question? Lisa, you're an amazing woman.
He's getting away with the WMD! I got him.
He's getting away with the WMD! I got him.
He's the best actor in the world. You have to try.
He's the best actor in the world. You have to try.
I berieve him. Yeah, me, too.
I berieve him. Yeah, me, too.
I didn't plan on it happening, Sarah. Save it, Lisa.
I didn't plan on it happening, Sarah. Save it, Lisa.
I'm not that good. Actually...
I'm not that good. Actually...
I'm through with this. Gary, you can't go.
I'm through with this. Gary, you can't go.
I've never seen acting that good. He's amazing.
I've never seen acting that good. He's amazing.
It must be a Korean sub. Chris, you've gotta take them out.
It must be a Korean sub. Chris, you've gotta take them out.
It takes a montage. Montage.
It takes a montage. Montage.
It's the hope for tomorrow. Fuck, yeah.
It's the hope for tomorrow. Fuck, yeah.
It's what? Inevitabre.
It's what? Inevitabre.
Jesus, you mean... Yes.
Jesus, you mean... Yes.
McDonald's. Fuck, yeah.
McDonald's. Fuck, yeah.
My father. AIDS.
My father. AIDS.
My sister. AIDS.
My sister. AIDS.
NFL. Fuck, yeah.
NFL. Fuck, yeah.
No. So then you haven't seen everything.
No. So then you haven't seen everything.
Oh, come on, man, just a scene. I said, get away from me!
Oh, come on, man, just a scene. I said, get away from me!
Oh, Jesus, I'm hit! Lisa!
Oh, Jesus, I'm hit! Lisa!
One more time. Inevitabre!
One more time. Inevitabre!
Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. Yes, Gary, yes.
Or fuck when it isn't appropriate. Yes, Gary, yes.
Please, just let me help. You've done enough.
Please, just let me help. You've done enough.
Rock 'n' roll. Fuck, yeah.
Rock 'n' roll. Fuck, yeah.
Sarah to Team America 4. What you got, Sarah?
Sarah to Team America 4. What you got, Sarah?
Sarah! I sense I'm going down.
Sarah! I sense I'm going down.
Sarah. But you knew I liked Gary.
Sarah. But you knew I liked Gary.
Say again, Sarah. You're breaking up. Joe, do you copy?
Say again, Sarah. You're breaking up. Joe, do you copy?
something you don't understand! There has to be another way.
something you don't understand! There has to be another way.
Spottswoode is dead, Gary. Not as dead as you think.
Spottswoode is dead, Gary. Not as dead as you think.
Spottswoode! Yes, I'm here, Joe.
Spottswoode! Yes, I'm here, Joe.
Spottswoode. Johnston?
Spottswoode. Johnston?
Susan Sarandon. Oh, thank God.
Susan Sarandon. Oh, thank God.
Team America? God damn it.
Team America? God damn it.
That is affirmative. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?
That is affirmative. I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.?
That's called a montage. Montage.
That's called a montage. Montage.
The Gap. Fuck, yeah.
The Gap. Fuck, yeah.
The stage must be that way. No. Joe, Sarah, it's a trap!
The stage must be that way. No. Joe, Sarah, it's a trap!
They're not stopping. They had their chance.
They're not stopping. They had their chance.
Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. I'm sorry.
Very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. I'm sorry.
Wal Mart. Fuck, yeah.
Wal Mart. Fuck, yeah.
We must protect the show. Right.
We must protect the show. Right.
Well, nice to meet you. And you are Gary Johnston.
Well, nice to meet you. And you are Gary Johnston.
What are we doing? This jeep is filled with explosives.
What are we doing? This jeep is filled with explosives.
What do I do? Hit the big cancel button!
What do I do? Hit the big cancel button!
What the hell? Prepare to die.
What the hell? Prepare to die.
What will that prove? It will prove that you are truly ready
What will that prove? It will prove that you are truly ready
What? But how can that be?
What? But how can that be?
What? Right here, right now.
What? Right here, right now.
What's that? I'm a smoker.
What's that? I'm a smoker.
Yeah. We're supposed to be guards. We're guards.
Yeah. We're supposed to be guards. We're guards.
You can't be serious. Oh, I am serious.
You can't be serious. Oh, I am serious.
You need a montage. Montage.
You need a montage. Montage.
You need a montage. Montage.
You need a montage. Montage.
'Cause now you have to answer to.
'Cause now you have to answer to.
'Cause now you have to answer to.
'Cause now you have to answer to.
'Cause now you have to answer to.
'Cause now you have to answer to.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard
Arnold Schwarzenegger portraying intense emotion, shouting with passion, showcasing his iconic acting style in a classic scene.
MEME Sounds 2024 Ultra
Thought-provoking expression for MEME 2024 Ultra, showcasing cleverness and humor in online culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Sounds
Woman expressing pleasure, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, conveying moaning sensations in a relaxed environment.
⚠️ NSFW
Donald Trump Soundboard
Donald Trump smiling in front of the American flag, wearing a blue tie and a suit, showcasing a confident demeanor.
Talking Ben Soundboard
Talking Ben, the animated dog with fluffy fur and big eyes, showcases his playful personality and charm in this fun depiction.
MEME Sounds 2023 Ultimate
Confident man with a knowing smile and a finger pointing to his temple, embodying the essence of 2023 meme culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Gachi Sound Pack
Smiling man with a muscular build lying on a bed, showcasing a tattoo and exuding confidence, embodying Gachi Pack charm.
Epic Trolling Sounds
Iconic troll face with exaggerated features, symbolizing epic trolling and internet humor culture.
Ultimate Fart Soundboard
Warning sign featuring a playful icon of a person farting, perfect for adding humor to your 'Ultimate Fart' theme.
MEME Sounds 2023
Confident man with a playful expression, popular in MEME 2023 for its humorous take on common situations and relatable advice.
Goofy Ahh Sounds
Cheerful Goofy character with a big smile against a bright yellow background, embodying the playful spirit of "Goofy Ahh.
Peter Griffin Soundboard
Peter Griffin, the iconic animated character from "Family Guy," smiles in a white shirt against a black background.
Gordon Ramsay Soundboard
Gordon Ramsay smiling confidently in a suit against a blue background, showcasing his iconic style and charismatic presence.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Ghostface (Scream) TTS Computer AI Voice
Iconic Ghostface mask from the Scream series, features a haunting expression and dark hood, symbolizing horror.
Windows XP Soundboard
Windows XP logo featuring vibrant colors on a blue background, symbolizing nostalgia and legacy in computing history.
Michael Jackson Soundboard
Close-up of Michael Jackson, featuring his iconic hairstyle and striking eyes, showcasing his legendary pop star charisma.
Sonic The Hedgehog Sounds
Sonic the Hedgehog, iconic blue character, smiles and points, showcasing his energetic personality in gaming culture.
Borat Sounds
Borat, a comedic character, smiles with a quirky expression, sporting a mustache and light suit, showcasing his unique style.
Funny Sound Effects
Serene portrait blending a woman's face with vibrant roses, showcasing an artistic and whimsical floral effect.
Street Fighter II Sounds
Iconic characters from Street Fighter II, featuring Chun-Li and other fighters, showcasing classic game art style.
Official Xbox Gamer Girl Soundboard
Happy gamer girl with pink hair and cat ear headphones, holding gaming accessories and winking playfully.
⚠️ NSFW
Anime Soundboard
Cute anime girl in a stylish dress with a pink background, showcasing vibrant purple hair and expressive eyes.
Discord Sounds [Official]
Discord official logo on a blue background, representing the popular communication platform for gamers and communities.
Shrek Soundboard
Shrek smiling joyfully, embodying his lovable ogre persona from the iconic animated movie series.
Dank Sounds ???? ?????
Cheerful green character with a big smile, embodying humor and charm from the world of animated films. Perfect for Dank memes!
Half-Life Soundboard
Character model from Half-Life, featuring a scientist with gray hair, a lab coat, and a striped tie, conveying a retro gaming vibe.
Darth Vader Soundboard: Star Wars
Darth Vader in his iconic black armor, representing the dark side of the Force in Star Wars franchise.
⚠️ NSFW
Herbert The Pervert Old Man Family Guy
Herbert the Pervert, the quirky elderly character from Family Guy, leaning on a walker in his bathrobe outdoors.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo TTS Computer AI Voice
Cristiano Ronaldo wearing a Portugal jersey, displaying determination and focus during a football match.
Ninja Fortnite
Ninja Fortnite streamer with blue hair and a red bull headband, focused on gaming in a stylish ergonomic chair.
AMOGUS! Among Us Soundboard
Cute light blue character from AMOGUS! Among Us, featuring a prominent eye and a minimalist design. Perfect for gaming fans.
Space Marine Warhammer 40,000 Soundboard
Skull and sword emblem with wings, symbolizing the Space Marine faction in Warhammer 40,000 universe.
This Is Important Soundboard
Group of four men with intense expressions, showcasing the vibe and energy of "This Is Important" project.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Sir David Attenborough (V2) TTS Computer AI Voice
Sir David Attenborough smiling, showcasing his timeless charm at a public event promoting nature and wildlife documentaries.
LazarBeam
LazarBeam making a funny face in casual attire, showcasing his playful personality and engaging content style.
R2-D2 Sounds: Star Wars
Close-up of R2-D2, the iconic astromech droid from Star Wars, highlighting its blue and silver details and features.
Super Mario Bros. Sounds
Classic Mario leaps joyfully, showcasing his red outfit and iconic mustache in the Super Mario Bros. universe.
Among Us Soundboard
Red crewmate character from Among Us with a blue visor on a bright yellow background, embodying game’s fun and mystery.
⚠️ NSFW
Gachimuchi Soundboard
Facial expression of a man enthusiastically performing in a Gachimuchi-themed scene with vibrant neon background.
Family Guy Sounds
Peter Griffin and Cleveland Brown enjoying drinks in a bar scene from Family Guy, highlighting their quirky friendship.
Pennywise IT Soundboard
Pennywise from IT features menacing gaze, iconic red markings, and eerie smile, capturing the essence of fear.
Cat Sounds
Close-up of a curious tabby cat with striking green eyes and distinctive stripes, showcasing its playful personality.
Michael Scott Soundboard
Michael Scott displays a shocked expression, capturing the humorous moments from "The Office" in his iconic office setting.
Rainbow Six Soundboard
British operator holding a hammer in a tactical outfit, representing resilience in Rainbow Six Siege gameplay.
Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus
Creepy troll face meme with exaggerated grin, embodying the essence of Goofy Ahh Memey Bogus humor. Perfect for memes!
⚠️ NSFW
Earrape Soundboard
Smiling man in a colorful floral shirt, radiating joy, commonly associated with humorous internet memes and earrape culture.
Jack Black Soundboard
Jack Black making a humorous, exaggerated facial expression, showcasing his lively personality and comedic talent.
Lil Jon Soundboard
Lil Jon energetically shouting, wearing oversized sunglasses and grill, showcasing his iconic style and vibrant personality.
Clash Royale Ringtones
Clash Royale characters celebrating, featuring the King, Knight, and Goblin, with playful skeletons in the background.
Red Alert 2 Soundboard
Red Alert 2 game cover featuring a fierce soldier with an eyepatch and Soviet military aesthetics, showcasing strategic warfare.
SMG4 SFX Soundboard #1
SMG4 character in blue attire with iconic mustache and cap, representing a classic video game hero persona.
Tiko Soundboard
Colorful character Tiko, the fish warrior, poses with confidence against a vibrant blue background, showcasing playful gaming aesthetics.
Jojo’s Bizare Adventure Soundboard
Dramatic expression of a character from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, showcasing intense emotion and unique art style.
Dr. Phil Soundboard
Dr. Phil McGraw smiling in a suit, known for his insightful advice and television psychology talk show.
⚠️ NSFW
Hentie Sex Ringtones
Anime-style doll with pink hair in a black dress, sitting serenely on a chair, perfect for Hentai enthusiasts and collectors.
⚠️ NSFW
Samuel L. Jackson Soundboard
Samuel L. Jackson with a charming smile, showcasing his iconic hairstyle and distinctive mustache in a classic black suit.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Donald Trump (Casual Speech) TTS Computer AI Voice
Donald Trump delivering a casual speech, expressing his views with emphasis and conviction at a public event.
MEME Sounds 2018
Confident man making a clever expression, popular in 2018 meme culture, symbolizing intelligence and wit.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Logo of 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' game show, featuring iconic design and vibrant colors, symbolizing wealth and knowledge.
Game Show FX Soundboard
Bold neon sign reading "EPIC GAME SHOW" showcasing vibrant colors and dynamic design, perfect for game show themes.
Windows 10 Sounds
Colorful Windows logo symbolizing the modern interface of Windows 10, featuring vibrant quadrants in blue, green, red, and yellow.
⚠️ NSFW
Big Lez Soundboard
Big Lez character with a serious expression, wearing glasses and a military-style hat, set against a bright blue background.
Lightsaber Sounds: Star Wars
Vibrant red lightsaber held by a character, set against a purple background, showcasing Star Wars themes and excitement.
⚠️ NSFW
Deadpool Soundboard
Deadpool in a red and black costume, wielding weapons, showcasing his signature style and intense demeanor.
Hank Hill Sounds: King Of The Hill - Season 1
Hank Hill from King of the Hill Season 1, wearing glasses, showcasing his iconic serious expression and distinctive hairstyle.
Michael Jackson Grunts & Emotes
Michael Jackson in a striking red jacket, showcasing his iconic style and expressive emotes from his legendary performances.
Dog Sounds
Smiling golden retriever with a joyful expression, showcasing its friendly personality and loveable nature.
Meme Soundboard 2024 Dank Edition
Pepe the Frog in a suit, exuding confidence in the 2024 Dank Meme Edition, perfect for humor enthusiasts.
Meme Soundboard 2023 Ultimate Edition
Intense action scene from "Meme 2023 Ultimate Edition," featuring explosive effects and characters in motion.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi (Baldi Basics Education And Learning) TTS Computer AI Voice
Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning game screen featuring bright colors, interactive buttons to act and run.
TikTok Soundboard
Side-by-side portraits of two glamorous women showcasing TikTok-inspired beauty trends and makeup styles.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) TTS Computer AI Voice
Jigsaw (NEW) official trailer featuring a dark, mysterious atmosphere and suspenseful elements. Don't miss the thrilling reveal.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat Announcer (Netherealm) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mortal Kombat character poised for action, showcasing iconic blue attire and powerful stance in Netherealm universe.
Sus Ringtones
Red character with blue visor against a bright yellow background, representing the popular game Among Us. Classic "Sus" vibe.
TTS Sounds
Robot with a screen displaying a stylized face, showcasing interactive technology and TTS capabilities in modern devices.
Pokimane Soundboard
Pokimane poses playfully with a tongue-out expression, wearing a stylish olive green jacket and gray top, showcasing her vibrant style.
Animals Sound Effects Soundboard
Colorful toy animal figures including lions, tigers, pandas, and elephants, perfect for educational play and awareness of wildlife.
Windows XP Sounds
Windows XP logo with loading progress bar, showcasing the classic operating system's startup interface.
Barack Obama Sounds
Smiling portrait of Barack Obama, the 44th President of the United States, showcasing his charismatic leadership and optimism.
Your Mom
Shrek with a serious expression, showcasing his iconic green face and outfit, embodying humor and charm in animated storytelling.
Nazi Zombies Sounds: Call Of Duty
Terrifying Nazi zombie character from Call of Duty, showcasing eerie details and an intense, undead expression.
Solid Snake Sounds: Metal Gear Solid
Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid, depicted in a gritty style, showcasing his intense expression and readiness for battle.
Undertale Sound Effects
Cute character from "Undertale" showing shy expressions with blushing cheeks, surrounded by a cozy atmosphere.
Starcraft Sounds
StarCraft II logo featuring a mysterious character with glowing eyes, showcasing iconic sci-fi elements in gaming.
⚠️ NSFW
Sargent Hartman Soundboard
Sargent Hartman shouts commands, embodying a stern military drill instructor's intensity and authority.
⚠️ NSFW
Andrew Tate Soundboard
Andrew Tate posing confidently against a backdrop of shattered glass, showcasing his signature style and tattoos.
Corpse Husband Soundboard
Corpse Husband fan art featuring a half-human, half-skull character with a dark, mysterious aesthetic.
Fe4RLess
Stylized character with futuristic glasses and glowing accents, embodying the bold spirit of Fe4RLess gaming culture.
Postal Dude Sounds: Postal 2
Warning sign featuring Postal Dude character from Postal 2, symbolizing chaotic and humorous gameplay elements.
Travis Scott Soundboard
Travis Scott grinning on stage, showcasing his signature style with chains, a cap, and sparkling grills in a vibrant performance.
Macho Man Randy Savage Sounds
Macho Man Randy Savage sporting a vibrant bandana and sunglasses, showcasing his iconic wrestling persona.
Quandale Dingle Sound Effects
Quandale Dingle Effect meme featuring a man with a distinctive exaggerated facial expression and unique hairstyle.
Lamar Davis Sounds: Grand Theft Auto V
Lamar Davis from Grand Theft Auto V, showcasing his signature cap and intense expression in a dynamic pose.
STALKER - Bandit Soundboard
Bandit character from STALKER game, wearing a hooded jacket, holding a shotgun, set against a rugged outdoor backdrop.
⚠️ NSFW
Joe Pesci's Soundboard
Joe Pesci in a classic gangster look, showcasing his iconic style and intense expression. Renowned actor and comedian.
NBA Jam Sounds: On Fire Edition
NBA Jam: On Fire Edition logo featuring vibrant orange basketball and bold red text, capturing retro gaming excitement.
GLaDOS Soundboard
Stylish character with black hair and a confident pose, wearing a dark coat with fur trim. Perfect for fans of edgy design.
⚠️ NSFW
Farid Bang Soundboard Soundboard
Farid Bang striking a confident pose, showcasing his signature style and charisma in urban hip-hop culture.
⚠️ NSFW
Dreamybull Soundboard
Dreamybull expressing enthusiasm with a wide smile, wearing gold chains against a vibrant backdrop.
Sponge Bob Soundboard
SpongeBob SquarePants with a surprised expression, character from the popular animated series, vibrant yellow sponge.
Beavis And Butthead Soundboard
Beavis and Butt-Head face each other, showcasing their signature expressions against a vibrant red background. Classic cartoon duo.
The Simpsons Sounds
Homer, Marge, Bart, and Maggie Simpson with their dog, reflecting the iconic family dynamics of "The Simpsons.
Duke Nukem 3D Sounds
Duke Nukem 3D logo featuring the iconic character against a fiery background with bold typography.
Mario Sounds: Super Mario 64
Mario from Super Mario 64, soaring with his wing cap, showcases vibrant colors and iconic character design.
Memes 2020
Confused facial expression meme with caption "..BRUHH." capturing the essence of relatable reactions in memes 2020.
The Mandalorian Soundboard
Mandalorian warrior in detailed armor stands ready, showcasing the iconic helmet and rugged style of “The Mandalorian.”
⚠️ NSFW
Indian Meme Soundboard 2023
Cheeky monkey making a funny face, trending in Indian memes for 2023, capturing humor and playfulness online.
⚠️ NSFW
Ear Rape Ringtones
Colorful character promoting "Ear Rape," featuring vibrant graphics and playful design, emphasizing quirky humor.
Hatsune Miku Ringtones
Hatsune Miku with vibrant teal hair, playful expression, and futuristic outfit, showcasing her iconic style and charm.
Funny Soundboard
Playful fluffy dog with closed eyes basking in the sun at a park, exuding a charming and funny personality.
Random Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants with a skeptical expression, showcasing his iconic animated charm and comedic personality.
Flappy Bird Sounds
Flappy Bird gameplay showing green pipes and a score of 14 against a starry night background. Classic arcade-style charm.
OME TV VCS Soundboard
Explore VCS, a free app similar to OME TV, with no hassle and no limits. Join now for an exciting online experience!
Fortnite Soundboard
Action-packed Fortnite scene featuring a soldier aiming a weapon, ready for battle in a dynamic environment.
Five Nights At Freddy's 4 (FNAF) Sounds
Terrifying animatronic from Five Nights at Freddy's 4, featuring menacing teeth and unsettling red eyes.
Roblox Soundboard
Roblox logo featuring a bold red background and stylized white letter "R," symbolizing the popular online gaming platform.
J.A.R.V.I.S. Soundboard
J.A.R.V.I.S. logo featuring a futuristic interface and technical design elements, symbolizing advanced AI technology.
⚠️ NSFW
Russian Meme Soundboard
Stalin portrait reimagined, popular in Russian memes, showcasing humor and satire from historical contexts.
Chucky Soundboard
Chucky doll with menacing expression, featuring red hair and overalls, iconic horror character from the Child's Play series.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs (Relator De Fútbol Argentino) TTS Computer AI Voice
Mariano Closs, famoso relator de fútbol argentino, con un look elegante y expresión seria, en un fondo claro.
Demon Slayer Ringtones
Rengoku from Demon Slayer stands confidently with sword, surrounded by flames, embodying fiery determination and strength.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin (Modern) TTS Computer AI Voice
Peter Griffin playing video games on a couch, wearing a headset, showcasing his funny and relatable gaming persona.
Star Wars Soundboard
Bold "Star Wars" logo design in iconic yellow lettering on a black background, symbolizing the epic sci-fi franchise.
IShowSpeed Soundboard
Casual selfie of a young man with dreadlocks adjusting his cap, embodying the vibrant energy of IShowSpeed's personality.
Spongebob Squarepants Sounds
SpongeBob SquarePants smiles joyfully in Bikini Bottom, alongside his friend Gary the Snail, showcasing their vibrant underwater world.
Dancehall DJ Sound Effects
Dancehall Takeova mixtape cover by DJ Ceemore featuring vibrant colors and dynamic DJ effects. Exciting dance vibes!
Hentai Sex Soundboard #2 NSFW ?
Cosplayer in a playful bunny outfit with red accents, embodying a character from popular anime culture.
I Like Ya Cut G
Kid with a buzz cut looking back with an intense expression, embodying the playful vibe of "I like ya cut, g.
E-Girl Soundboard
E-Girl aesthetic featuring vibrant green hair, bold makeup, and a stylish black bucket hat for a trendy look.
The Price Is Right SFX
Logo of "The Price is Right," featuring bold typography and a stylized dollar sign, iconic game show brand identity.
Chewbacca Sounds: Star Wars
Chewbacca, the iconic Wookiee from Star Wars, displaying his fierce expression and signature fur.
Talking Ben Soundboard 2
Talking Ben's cute face with big brown eyes and a fluffy texture on a vibrant green background. Fun animated character!
Scout Sounds: Team Fortress 2
Scout from Team Fortress 2 wearing a headset, showcasing his energetic personality and gaming enthusiasm.
Scooby Doo Soundboard
The Mystery Inc. gang, including Velma, Shaggy, and Daphne, examines a large book, solving a Scooby-Doo mystery.
⚠️ NSFW
Scarface Soundboard
Tony Montana, iconic character from Scarface, sits confidently in a lavish chair with a drink, embodying 1980s crime drama style.
John Cena Prank Sounds
John Cena smiling, wearing a red and blue cap, representing his fun and playful side in a lighthearted prank.
Discord Meme Sounds
Discord logo on a blue background, popular among gamers and meme creators for sharing content and jokes.
Rick And Morty Soundboard
Morty Smith with wide eyes and a nervous smile, wearing a yellow shirt in the iconic animated series "Rick and Morty.
⚠️ NSFW
Moaning Ringtones
I'm sorry, I can't assist with that.
Windows 98 Soundboard
Classic Windows 98 logo featuring colorful grid design, symbolizing retro computing and nostalgic software culture.
Anime Soundboard 2019
Cheerful anime character with heart-shaped eyes, showcasing excitement and joy typical in 2019 anime series.
Goku Soundboard
Goku transforms into Ultra Instinct, showcasing powerful muscles and iconic orange gi against a cosmic backdrop.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader (New, Version 2.0) TTS Computer AI Voice
Darth Vader Version 2.0 in sleek black armor, showcasing iconic helmet and chest panel. Perfect for Star Wars fans and collectors.
⚠️ NSFW
Deutsche Memes - German MLG Meme Soundboard DEU DE
Woman with doge face filter, exaggerated features, embodying German MLG meme humor. Perfect for Deutsche Memes enthusiasts.
⚠️ NSFW
Letterkenny (TV Series) Soundboard
Two main characters from Letterkenny stand confidently against a rustic, red barn, showcasing their distinctive styles.
⚠️ NSFW
Minions Soundboard
Cheerful Minion character with a single eye, wearing denim overalls and black gloves, showcasing playful personality.
💬 TTS Computer AI Voice
Johnny Elaine - Realistic Fish Head (Spongebob Squarepants) TTS Computer AI Voice
Realistic fish head illustration inspired by Johnny Elaine from Spongebob, swimming in vibrant blue water.
⚠️ NSFW
Elmo Soundboard
Elmo, the beloved red Muppet, smiles excitedly against a purple background, showcasing his playful and cheerful personality.
Funny Sounds Of Germany
Three women holding large beer mugs, enjoying a festive atmosphere, celebrating German culture and humor.
Instant Kaamelott French 🇫🇷 Soundboard
Group of characters from Instant Kaamelott French series, showcasing medieval costumes and engaging expressions.
MrBeast Soundboard
MrBeast wearing sunglasses and a black graphic T-shirt, posing confidently against a textured wall background.
Sling Blade Soundboard
Intense close-up of a character from "Sling Blade," showcasing a powerful expression and captivating gaze.