Nacho Libre (2006) Edit

A lie!

A lush garden,

A nice pile drive to the face,

About your salvation and stuff.

Anaconda squeeze.

And a collection of Russian nesting dolls.

And all the children are gone

And already believe that I must have died long ago in the wilderness.

And beneath a man,

And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.

And he owns all of the big arenas.

And I don't belong in here,

And I just thought it would be a good idea if you...

And I said to myself,

And I saw them knock you unconscious, all right?

And I used my strength to rip my blouse?

And I will bring some of my friends to beat you up,

And I will have my glory day in the hot sun.

And I will win

And if I die in the ring, know that I always loved you as a brother in God.

And if you guys have a problem with that,

And my father, a deacon from Mexico.

And that is a crazy lady.

And that you want me to be a wrestling servant of you.

And the free creams and lotions,

And then I disappear!

And then made me such a stinky warrior?

And then swallow the yolk.

And then they died.

And there's no food for tomorrow's breakfast.

And they don't think I know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do.

And they need you, Nacho.

And with it,

And you gave them permission to hurt me like this.

And you got something none of these guys have.

Anyways,

Are you leaving us?

Aren't you tired of getting dirt kicked in your face?

Be grateful, Juan Pablo.

Be patient, Brother.

Because I never got around to it, okay?

Because I only believe in science.

Because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor.

Because our Heavenly Father will be in the ring with me.

Because those men fight for vanity,

Break it up! Break it up! Break it up!

Breakfast.

Buenos dias, Sister.

But beneath the clothes, we find a man.

But going pro is not that easy. It's political, obviously.

But I can't even beat a couple of guys in the street.

But I couldn't have anybody see my face, Steven, come on.

But I have given up wrestling.

But I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world.

But is it always a sin to fight?

But it turns out he's a real douche.

But know that I am leaving all my monies to the orphans.

But Ramses is not dancing He does not dance at the parties

But these are my recreation clothes.

But they are pros. They only hang out with each other.

But they don't give me money for fresh ingredients.

But they got married instead.

But to tell you the truth,

But tonight,

But we lost.

But we will let you win.

But why?

But you are tall and fast like a gazelle. You can do it.

But you are wrong, I'm still alive.

But you cannot do it.

But, Sister,

By the eagle,

Can I come in?

Chancho, I need to borrow some sweats.

Chancho!

Chancho!

Chancho! Put him down!

Children, today I want to tell you a story about Isabel.

Come again?

Come back next week, and I will get another fight for you.

Come here, soldier.

Come here.

Come on, Esqueleto!

Cooking duty. Dead guy duty.

Crack open one of them,

Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength.

Definitely.

Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?

Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?

Do you remember that one time

Don't worry, I'll take care of it.

Don't worry. I won't tell nobody.

Don't you see?

Don't you want a little taste of the glory?

Eagle eggs?

Eagle powers, come to me!

Earth to Steven.

Encarnacion

Encarnacion

Encarnacion

Encarnacion

Enjoy.

ENTER TODAY

Every day.

Everybody is a luchador, mi amigo.

Everyone calls you guero.

Everyone is dancing

Everything you just said is my favorite thing to do

Excuse me, Ignacio.

Feel it.

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Find the egg,

Flame, flame, flame!

Flame! Flame!

For false pride.

For God has blessed us with a new teacher.

For money,

For you.

For you.

Forget it.

Get off me!

Get that corn out of my face!

Give me a second.

Go away!

Go lay down.

Go now,

Go on. I made them.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Go.

God be with you, Ignacio.

Good luck.

Good toast.

GRAND PRIZE $200

Happy party

Have I focused too much on my boots and all my fame and my stretchy pants?

Have you ever had feelings for a nun?

He got injured.

He had a wonderful woman,

He had a wonderful woman,

He is not a man of God.

He know wheres to find eagle eggs.

He's a water gypsy.

He's good.

He's having a party tomorrow night.

He's not gonna be able to fight tonight.

He's Ramses' manager

He's the best.

Hello!

Helps me to carry on

Here is your big duty, huh?

Here we have the corn. The best in the city. It's delicious.

Hey, let go my blouse.

Hey, we're not allowed to watch that.

Hey!

Hey! Can't you see this woman's a nun?

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Listen to me! Hey!

Hey! We did it!

Hey. How you doing?

Hey. Take it easy.

Hey. What about me?

Hi.

High five.

High five.

Hiking.

His eagle eggs possess magical powers.

His eyes are number one.

His hair. We bet his hair.

His legs are number one.

His muscles are number one.

His name is Senor Ramon.

Holy Father, please receive this man to your kingdom.

How come we can't ever have just, like, a salad?

How come you have not been baptized?

How did you find me here?

How did you get up here so fast?

How's it going?

Hug, hug, big kiss,

Hug, hug, kiss, kiss,

Huh?

I am Nacho, the luchador.

I am singing

I am singing at the party

I am!

I ate some bugs I ate some grass

I can't wrestle him.

I did it!

I don't believe in God, I believe in science.

I don't belong out there

I don't know why you always have to be judging me

I don't see them.

I don't think I can lift you.

I don't want to get paid to lose.

I felt something deep inside me,

I forgive you.

I get to lay in a bed by myself all of my life.

I get to wake up every morning at 5:00 a. m. and make some soup.

I got no groceries for breakfast because of you!

I hate all the orphans in the whole world.

I hate that place.

I have an idea.

I have some news.

I hope to see you again, little Chancho.

I just need to borrow some sweats.

I just wish I could take off this robe so she could see how strong I am.

I knew it.

I know it is fun to wrestle.

I know you don't like wrestling,

I know.

I like serving the Lord.

I like them.

I like your cow.

I looked like a fool last night! What took you so long?

I love you.

I mean, we're gonna be pros.

I mean, yes,

I need professional help.

I saw you from the village.

I smell cookies.

I think I know someone who can help you.

I think that me and my friend are ready to go pro.

I think your food is good.

I used my hand To wipe my tears

I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him.

I wanna be a great fighter,

I want to win!

I was trying to...

I was wondering if the children could get a

I was wondering if you would like to join me

I will buy the orphans a big bus

I will fight the seven strongest men in town,

I will know that you bless my mission

I wrote a song for Encarnacion

I'll take the Pony.

I'm a friar.

I'm a little concerned right now.

I'm Ignacio.

I'm not for that world.

I'm not listening to you.

I'm not listening to you. You're crazy.

I'm serious!

I'm sick of hearing about your stupid orphans.

I'm talking to you. I will come.

I've been gone because I had a lot of church y opportunities lately,

I've never felt before.

If we win, we get 200 pesos!

If you fight for something noble,

Ignacio, I was in the kitchen

Ignacio, I've been looking for you.

Ignacio, they are wrestling in a sacred place.

Ignacio, you have a responsibility to these children.

Ignacio.

Ignacio.

In a frilly shirt and slacks?

In front of 5,000 people.

In my mind.

In my quarters this night for some toast.

In order for you to become empowered

In your room.

Is if I can eat this yolk,

It sucks to be me right now!

It was her lucky machete. You can have it.

It was stinky.

It's fantastic.

It's for fun.

It's money. What did you think?

It's my turn to sing at the party

It's no use.

It's pretty dang exciting, huh?

It's the best. I love it.

It's very late, Ignacio.

Kind of.

Leftovers.

Let's talk to these guys about the Gospel.

Like maybe you are a floozy.

Like what? Where were you last night?

Listen to me!

Listen,

Listen, I don't like the way those guys just looked at you.

Listen, I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies,

Listen, the kids are orphans.

Little hug, kiss, kiss, little kiss.

Look alive!

Lucha libre, it's a sin.

May he rest in peace.

May I have his autograph?

May I have his autograph?

Maybe I am not meant for these duties.

Maybe in the next life.

Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty.

Maybe the world,

Maybe we should pray.

Maybe you have seen me on TV.

Maybe you want me to fight and give everything I win

Me? No, come on. Don't be crazy.

Move!

Mucho take it easy. I need your help.

My area, amigo.

My favorite animal is puppies.

My favorite color is light tan.

My mother gave it to me before she died.

My mother was a Lutheran missionary from Scandinavia

My moves will become the best in the whole world.

Nacho, I'm telling you. This is for reals.

Nacho, you are a great fighter.

Nacho!

Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho.

NEW WRESTLERS TOURNAMENT

NEW WRESTLERS TOURNAMENT

Nipple twist!

No problem. We are dancing.

No way.

No, Chancho, I would never leave you.

No, he's not.

No, no, no No, no, no way, Jose

No, no, no, no! No, no!

No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

No, people might get the wrong idea about you.

No!

No! No, no, no! No, no, no!

No.

Not anymore.

Of Guadalupe.

Of the Immaculate Heart Sisters Lady Mountains

Okay, if I win tonight at the Battle Jam,

Okay, my friend, this one's yours.

Okay, new game.

Okay, orphans, listen to me. Listen to Ignacio.

Okay?

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. Let me see what I can do.

Okay. Vertebrae kick!

One for you.

One for you.

One for you.

Only then will God bless you in battle.

Or a punch to the face,

Or for someone who needs your help,

Orphans, smile and be happy,

Outside of the orphanage.

Over there in the tree is a chipmunk nest.

P.S. If we didn't end up taking our vows of celibacy,

People cheer for him, but he is a false idol.

People were throwing daisies at him and giving him goodies.

Play volleyball.

Please!

Please?

Please?

Praise the Lord!

Precious Father,

Probably to die.

Ramses

Ramses is number one He knows the secrets of desire

Ramses is the number one.

Ramses is the number one.

Ramses is the one He puts the people all on fire

Ramses, would you like to fight this man in the ring?

Ramses!

Ramses! Ramses!

Ramses! Ramses! Ramses! Ramses!

Ramses.

Ramses.

Ramses...

Read some books!

Really good.

Release! Release!

Roll, you fool!

Save me a piece of that corn for later.

Save me a piece of that corn.

Secret tunnels.

See what it tastes like?

See you.

Semental! Semental! Semental! Semental!

Senor Ramon.

She hails from the Oaxaca Parish Convent

Signature from you and maybe a picture.

Silencio bruised his bunions.

Silencio isn't going to be able to fight Ramses.

Sing something for Ramses!

Sing!

Sister Encarnacion.

Sister.

So anyways, let's get down to the nitty gritty.

So I'm going into the wilderness,

So now you got a little taste of what I do.

So that Sister and I may talk of holy things.

So they can have better foods and a better life.

So where are you taking me?

So you want to make a name for yourself, horseface?

So you've never wrestled?

So,

So, what you cooking?

So, what you're saying to me

So, you enjoy yourself here at the Brotherhood?

Some say wrestlers make bad lovers.

Somebody stole them.

Something good inside me

Sometimes I would like that kind of respect.

Sometimes you wear stretchy pants

Sorry.

Steven!

Surprise.

Tag me!

Tag. Tag! Tag!

Take her on a date tonight

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Take out the legs!

Taste it. Yes! I'm going to pull you.

Tell me,

Thank you for coming here today.

Thank you, Brother.

That didn't hurt!

That is where I get the day old chips, over in a secret place.

That party was lame.

That they save themselves for the ring.

That we are ready for the big leagues.

The brothers make me cook stew and stuff all day,

The children, I love the children. They are my heart.

The childrens need a real hero.

The great Ramses.

The orphans, they need me, and I have forsaken them.

The people, they like you guys.

The shoe!

The winner will fight Ramses in exhibition

Then I'll get kicked out of the monastery.

Then we must go pro!

Then we'd break our vows together

Then you will be a pro.

There are no spices. Where are the chips?

There is a man sick with influenza. I need for you to pay him a visit, huh?

There is no flavor.

There is no place for me in this world, Chanchito.

There is this nun.

There were two bums,

They are just ninos trying to release their wiggles.

They are my PJs.

They are ready for you now.

They are swollen really hard.

They gave me no eagle powers!

They gave me no nutrients!

They like you. You are the best.

They may have the appearance of riches,

They scalped my hairs, okay?

They should be coming by.

They tried to convert each other,

This is the worst lunch I ever had.

This man lived a good life.

This one yours.

This party's gonna be crazy.

This, too, shall pass.

Those eggs were a lie, Steven.

Those guys were a couple of wussies, huh?

Timber!

To go on field trips to parks and places like that.

To kiss your mouth I'd break my vow

To the little ones who have nothing

Today is especially delicious.

Today, I have the chance of a lifetime, but first I need a man.

Today, I saw a man in town.

Tonight I'll be fighting the greatest wrestler who ever lived,

Tonight,

Tonight,

Unless you want to

Wait a second.

We all get a piece.

We are going up against Satan's Cavemen.

We are wrestlers, too. We are invited.

We could maybe get married and have a family with some ninos.

We find his nucleus.

We must learn their ways.

We need to get in with him and his buddies.

We need to go and show him we mean business,

We never win because you are fat.

Well,

Well, bring her to our next wrestling match.

Well, Sister, I saw a bum here today.

Well, to tell you the truth, he was a luchador.

Well, where are they?

Well, where have you been?

Well, win the Battle Jam this week and you can fight him yourself.

Well, you can just fight me.

Well, you might need this.

What is this?

What the...

What?

What?

What?

What? What are you doing?

What's this?

Whatever.

When everyone was shouting my name

When the fantasy has ended

Where are you going?

Where is he?

Where is your robe, Ignacio?

While I was in the wilderness

Who is this Encarnacion?

Who was this man?

Who?

Why have you given me this desire to wrestle

Win the Battle Jam next week.

Wrestling is ungodly, Ignacio.

Yeah, maybe that.

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

Yes, it's terrible. Terrible.

Yes, it's true!

Yes!

Yes!

You are a man of the cloth.

You are too fat.

You can take the Stallion.

You can't win them all.

You could become the greatest fighter who ever lived.

You ever seen these moves? Huh?

You get to fight Ramses.

You gotta be kidding me.

You have not been baptized?

You messed with the wrong guy this time.

You must climb that cliff,

You must pray for forgiveness.

You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win.

You ready?

You ready?

You see these moves? Huh?

You think you gonna... Huh?

You went to watch a wrestling match?

You were second place.

You're crazy!

Your skills plus my skills in the ring, tag team.

Amen. Amen.

But the sister and I... You are always complaining

But when? Good night.

Fight! Fight! Put him down, Chancho! Stop it!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Please, stop it!

Give me a boost. Okay.

Go get it! Hey, that's my ball!

How come? How come you think?

How do you know him? He's the best.

I look hideous. Come on, baby.

Nucleus? Yes.

Say it again to my face. I hate them!

Shall I sing it for you? Sure.

Summon your eagle powers. What do you think I am doing?

The Lord? No.

They look expensive. Thank you.

What did you just say? I hate orphans.

Where have you been? I've been here.

Who are you? I am Esqueleto, the luchador.

Yes! Yes!

You are useless, Ignacio. Silence, Brothers.