Other Space Episode 1: Into the Great Beyond...Beyond Edit

A tuna fish sandwich on the ground?

About as much as I love being your second in command.

About to exit asteroid field.

According to UMP regulations, I have to fire Karen and

Actions are deemed to place the lives of his crew in jeopardy.

Activate door lock.

Actually they gave second to Karen.

All hands on deck.

All night? That's fine.

All right, all right, excellent.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All unauthorized personnel, please exit.

All we have to eat is fudge.

Also, I had some hot dogs generated for you guys.

And as far as I'm concerned, that's plenty.

And does anybody else feel like their head's about to explode?

And every once in a while they hit each other hard enough

And I'm also lactose intolerant so

And provide data analyses and reference databases.

And she has exceeded our expectations.

And so, I thought you know what if the ship fart sneezed.

And suddenly you're stuck with warehouses full of unsold mugs and t shirts.

And the Nobel prize for excellence in physics and

And then there's Natasha.

And this was a total accident, okay?

And what about the cruiser, Stewart?

And yes, I am here as part of your crew due to nepotism,

And you are gonna be his second in command,

And, and we are in the toilet.

And, okay?

Apparently they need you right now, so stop kissing her, they're saying.

Are my breasts and buttocks to your liking?

Are you disrespecting your captain, Second Officer Newman?

Are you okay?

Are you recording this?

Attitudes change every day.

Aye, aye, Captain.

Because forget what people think back home.

Because I'm in love with you.

Because I'm tired of busting my ass to get things that just fall into

Because no one replaced it.

Because you were opening up yourself!. You son of a bitch.

Bogo Jean.

Brane is short for membrane.

But here's why I'm not gonna do that.

But I take it super seriously.

But not so attractive that you'd fantasize about having sex with me.

But we'll let it go this time.

But, at our price level, he's still the best in the business.

Can I help you?

Captain Michael Newman reporting from Jupiter.

Captain, open the air locks.

Captain?

Captain's just a title, really.

Chad.

Clean start, total do over.

Come on you guys.

Communicate with command vessels.

Congratulations, Stewart.

Congratulations.

Course bearing 12 degrees starboard into quadrant B 48.

Crispin's wharf.

Deal.

Deception, though sometimes necessary, is never cool.

Despite your taste in men.

Despite your taste in men.

Did you also space out how we're supposed to survive a year on this ship

Did you have Sloppy Joes?

Did you hear her?

Didn't I just tell you to calm down?

Do you guys not know the motto?

Don't call me Nibs in front of the crew.

Don't delete yourself.

Don't mom me.

Dude, I didn't do that.

Dust in 50 years of mapping the universe.

Easy on the sirs.

Engine variant down 4.85 millicycles, Captain.

Entrapped, yes.

Escape that hole.

Everyone involved believe it's real.

Everyone's super sad.

Experienced.

Fire the lasers.

First mate Lipinski and I have just landed.

For grandma.

Forget about all the mean things people say about you.

Forget about bad grades and red tape.

Forget what your stupid programming says.

Get away from the button.

Get going.

Get us out of here and on top of everything, you hate me.

Get, get away, get away, aah!

Give it to me.

God, he couldn't even say I love you.

God, I'm gonna look like such an idiot.

Good times.

Good to know.

Good, okay. Thank you, excuse me.

Good.

Greetings sir and

Gross.

He used to call me turkey.

He will show you around your ship.

He's hilarious.

He's the best.

Hell, you're a better Juliet than I could ever be.

Hello captain, I'm Kent Woolworth your new science officer.

Hello? New friends?

Hey guys, how's the vibe out here?

Hey guys.

Hey Michael, did your mother buy that shirt for you?

Hey, guys, who messed with the lights?

Hey, that's mean.

Hey, the cruiser rocks.

Hey, this is my buddy, Art.

Hey, Turkey.

Hey!

Hey! Hi.

His own ship.

Hope that's okay.

How did you think to do that?

How's the crew?

However, my mother needed my sleeping chamber at home as her

Huh?

I actually swallowed mine, sir.

I am officially relieving you of your duties as captain of this ship.

I believe Curly Sue has now joined me in unemployment.

I believe we hit a brane.

I can't believe this.

I can't eat tryptophan.

I can't tell you how excited all of us here on the bridge are to finally

I cleaned it up, I can show you the towel, Captain.

I didn't say it.

I don't know who made me the stupid navigator!

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't think I remember seeing a robot on the crew manifest.

I don't wanna fire any lasers.

I don't wanna go. Did you just burp?

I don't wanna hear about that cleanse.

I even installed an upgraded sensation software so

I forgot to go down and update you on everything that's happened.

I got food here we can all use.

I got you buddy.

I had a model of it when I was a kid, I even had your action figure.

I had to wash my balls.

I have allergies.

I have loved you more than I've ever loved anyone in my whole life.

I haven't pee'd in a decade.

I hope no one swallowed that.

I just tried to stage a coup against you, okay?

I looked out the window.

I love that.

I mean, how hard is that?

I mean, yes sir.

I mean, you guys are the best and I will not let you down.

I studied debate for three and a half years and

I think you're supposed to salute me before you speak to me.

I thought we'd have a little celebratory meal.

I tried to buy as many as I could, I'm sorry.

I wanna have dinner with your parents.

I wanna play board games with you.

I was just in my room feeling the same way, but then I did something crazy.

I was on a roll.

I was programmed to deal blackjack.

I was really good, huh?

I wasn't the top of my class,

I, I just was worried about telling you cause I thought

I'd like everyone's attention.

I'll always be your little helper, Captain Michael.

I'll give them to you for $50.

I'm detecting high levels of personal tension.

I'm gonna make your life a living hell and

I'm not detecting any verbal verification on the bridge captain.

I'm on my way.

I'm programmed to monitor all ship functions,

I'm riding the intergalactic rails like the space hobos of yore.

I'm seeing a lot of stars right in here.

I'm sorr. Hm.

I've had a huge crush on you ever since we started at the academy together.

If you had demanded a newer ship we would have had enough engine power to

Impressive, Lipinski.

In fact, it rots the part of your brain that feels pain.

In your face.

Increase shields, activate projection analysis.

Increase the shields!

Incredible.

Initiating a light ribbing protocol to facilitate camaraderie.

Initiating departure sequence control.

Initiating self deletion protocol in three, two No,

Isn't that gonna be fun?

It doesn't have to be on the ground.

It isn't fake and it looks like it's got a whole lot of adventure to me.

It makes blood come out my ears.

It was installed on May 14th, 2070.

It, did, you know I've been meaning to tell you about that.

It's a superfood.

It's a trap.

It's expensive as hell.

It's funny you know.

It's jellyfish.

It's just a, it's a thing, it's a factor.

It's like a fart sneeze combo.

It's like a fart sneeze combo.

It's more of a toilet, but yes.

It's not my job.

It's not that complicated.

It's probably because that water Michael spilled.

It's time to say something I have been waiting my whole life to say.

Jeez.

Jesus Christ, this tastes like grandma.

Just doing a bit, you know, abusing my power.

Just kidding.

Karen, what happened to us in the time warp was real.

Karen.

Let us sail to the stars!

Let's raise a fork to our new family.

Let's take a walk.

Like turds down a toilet.

Look, with a communicator we can talk every night.

Make me proud Turkey.

May I just say that it's an honor to be serving under you.

May I present Zalian, your engineer.

Maybe you wouldn't like me back, or.

Michael, get up, take Stewart back to his quarters,

Michael, what would you name that planet?

Michael.

Michael.

Michael.

Michael's right.

Might get the public interest in it up again.

Milky way.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mother.

Much to my chagrin.

My mom made you a dress.

My mothers love.

My nails. Stop digging into me.

My name's Natasha.

My preliminary reading is that people are not in fact excited.

Natasha, what just happened?

Negative shields, sir.

Nibs, huh.

Nibs!

Nice body.

No offense, but not cool, General.

No one on Earth has seen any of this.

No one's ever thought to do a clean out burst in all the years we've done

No way.

No, I also signed off on the computer's boob and butt size.

No, no, Natasha, run a diagnostic.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no. Karen, you're gonna kill us all.

No. I don't even really like Ted.

Nobody asked you that.

Nothing's responding.

Of course, it felt real.

Oh come on.

Oh man, I was.

Oh my God no, Tina.

Oh my god, Karen no.

Oh my God, this day is amazing.

Oh my God.

Oh no, I had a C minus average and I cheated a lot.

Oh sorry, Tina, but we all know why you're here.

Oh thank god, so she's getting her own ship.

Oh that's enough.

Oh, don't do it.

Oh, food?

Oh, fudge me.

Oh, greetings Captain.

Oh, how much do I love this guy?

Oh, I don't know, Stewart, maybe hire a real navigator.

Oh, I totally spaced it out.

Oh, it's so gross when you say it.

Oh, it's time.

Oh, Natasha, how old is this food tank?

Oh, nice.

Oh, no, no, no, undo command, I was just kidding.

Oh, no, Zalian.

Oh, no.

Oh, shut up you fudge eating hippie long hair went out in 2083.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, well optimally I'd be attractive enough for

Oh, yeah, compensate 6.9%.

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, yes.

Oh, you.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. None whatsoever.

Oh. Oh, Ted control says they need you.

Oh. Sorry I'm late, everybody.

Okay guys, come on.

Okay I'm gonna stop you right there.

Okay so imagine a toilet.

Okay, activate front view.

Okay, everyone, I know we got off on the wrong foot today but

Okay, I'm still the kid you used to babysit remember?

Okay, that's fine, that's enough, thank you.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay. And let's screw all night.

Okay. Not really though I bruise fast.

Once we're clear, it's hot dog time.

Or how all our families are probably going to think we're dead.

Or how UMP probably thinks that we got vaporized by some asteroid.

Override override override.

Override override.

Override.

Ow, ow, ow.

Ow. Can't you see, I'm dreaming of electric sheep here?

Panicking is not gonna help.

People really should listen to you.

People taking me seriously.

Point is, it's just us out here.

Possibly forever.

Promote Michael to first officer.

Readying lasers, Captain.

Really?

Reporting directly to your younger brother.

Reverse thrusters.

Rocking hot bod goes to Natasha.

Run an escape protocol, Stewart.

Safe and protected.

Same thing.

See?

She is my mother.

She really wants to get back to that stupid Swedish boyfriend of hers.

She's not kidding, my engines didn't accelerate.

She's trying to tone her body so that she can seduce.

Should we compensate, Captain?

Sis, come on.

So Yep.

So that was fake?

So we discovered a tunnel to a new universe?

So we're making her your second in command.

So what happens now?

So you're going to be my third in command.

So your number one fantasy is to find

So, on this, our very first night together,

So, you forgot to bring usable food, but

So?

Solar System One.

Somebody pinch me.

Something is trying to kill us and I have no idea how to

Sometimes, they bump into each other.

Stars, stars, stars.

Start escape protocol 159.

States the captain may be relieved of duty by his second in command if his

Stewart and I just want you guys to stop flipping out here.

Stewart, can I come in?

Stewart, it's over.

Stewart, this is Grandma's dressing.

Stewart, we put you,

Stewart, what are you doing!

Stewart, you are not gonna blow this for me.

Stewart, you didn't check the food tank?

Stewart.

Stewart.

Suppose to relieve you of your duties.

Take us home, Tina.

Tater dog.

Ted?

Tell me about Spider Man.

Ten seconds to impact, there's no time to get around it.

Thank you?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. I'd like to thank Bogo Jean.

Thanks for stopping me from killing us, captain.

Thanks, Stewart.

That could destroy the ship.

That had to feel good.

That our screen kisses will taste and feel just like the real thing.

That was 35 years ago.

That was highly unorthodox.

That we get sucked out into space.

That's an option.

That's only because we haven't had time to gel as a team.

That's right.

The Cruiser?

The drinks are on me.

The idea that this is not real is not real.

The inferior sibling, in charge to see how your sister would handle it.

The only reason you're here is because I think you're highly skilled.

The reason that you succeed is because you are good.

The ship's engineer is supposed to.

The simulation is simulated.

The tear we went through was only open for 10.36 seconds.

Their necks and called them ties?

Then you just wandered in there and got team captain over me.

There's space.

They'd allow you to climb very gentle hills.

They'll give us posthumous medals and then bury empty coffins in our honor.

They're sending us out into the stars, but

They're trying to get us to open airlock so

They're worth 70 on ebay.

Think that's a yes.

This is a special moment you're gonna want to remember.

This is so cool.

This is so exciting, isn't it?

This is the final test we give to all our potential captains.

This isn't school.

This simulation.

This worked out exactly the way we all wanted sir.

Three words, I love you.

Thrust drive up 23%, Captain.

Tina doesn't love me.

Tina just told me that she's in love with me.

Tina, go easy on the gas, please.

Tina, I bet you always wanted to name a solar system.

Tina, of course not.

Tina.

To the bridge.

Tuna fish.

Tunnel implies permanence.

Turkey was Ted's favorite.

Understand?

Unidentified object coming towards us at 1,000 parsecs from C quadrant.

Very well, captain.

Wait, has the public lost interest?

Wait, how did my sister do on the test?

Wanna get married?

Was anyone else just a baby?

Way to go, Nibs.

We all have captain potential if you think about it.

We all went to the academy because we loved outer space.

We are on our way.

We do need a solution, and here it is.

We have to remain calm.

We thought Jupiter was a solid mass.

We wanted adventure.

We were dumb asses, weren't we?

We were just telling Stewart that he's gonna be the captain of

We'll be known as the greatest explorers that ever lived.

We'll get the public back.

We're all terrified of her.

We're caught in a gravitational field.

We're excited on the bridge, right?

We're gonna see things that no one on earth could've ever dreamed of.

We're good in the north and the south?

We're in a whole other space.

We're in this together.

We're really happy you're fighting your obesity.

Well guess what?

Well how do we know why any of us are even here in life?

Well I'm delightful, but I'm not a crew member, and

Well UMP regulations on mutiny are pretty clear.

Well, I guess, we have to turn back and get more food.

Well, I understand.

Well, you know what?

Wh, what's that?

What a mess.

What about Ted?

What are you doing here?

What are you talking about?

What could I have possibly done to keep this from happening?

What do I think captain means?

What does one thing have to do with the other?

What function do you serve?

What happened to my sandwich?

What the hell was that?

What the hell?

What the hell?

What?

What? He's absorbed his share of engine radiation over the years.

What? You can't do that.

What's our speed?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's up?

Who are you?

Who designed it, a 13 year old boy?

Who wants turkey?

Who's trying?

Why am I here?

Why do you have to be such a jerk?

Why don't we have a new food tank?

With me in charge, none of you are ever gonna feel anything but

With no food?

Woolworth, as in Helen Woolworth the chairwoman?

Wow.

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Yeah, okay. That's enough.

Yeah, that's what I figured.

Yeah, we know it, it's just that All right, great, let's do it!

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Can you imagine a guy not wearing collar balls now?

Yeah. Let's hold hands.

Yep.

Yes!

Yes!

Yes! Captain Lipinski, let's open the airlocks and go celebrate.

You and she are the first cadets in ten years to pass simulation A 19.

You can be my second in command anytime.

You don't apologize to me.

You even beat me out for Juliet in drama club.

You got to the anti gravity society even though you never even floated.

You guys think I'm an idiot, don't you?

You know Michael, you're right about a lot of things.

You know sometimes I have these explosive sneezes.

You know there was a time where all men wore long pieces of fabric around

You know, it's just a word.

You know, it's just my way of saying thanks.

You know, you only discover rocks and

You managed to bring along a stowaway?

You mean I'm getting command of the Cruiser?

You mean I'm getting command of the Cruiser?

You played the nurse, that's an important part.

You said that, that would never happen in a million years.

You smell nice.

You to want to perform well in front of me.

You tricked us?

You, you, und,

You'll get used to it.

You're a legend.

You're gonna wish you never set foot in that academy.

You're out of your mind, right?

You're right.

You're right.

You're second in command now.

You're the best babysitter ever!

You're wearing a captain's shirt.

You've been captain for a day and you've already put down a mutiny and

Your brother's a fool.

Your captain just gave you an order.

Your fantasy is literally me getting fired.

Your first decision as captain and you made your crush the navigator?

Your lap.

Your not going to forget about me while I'm gone right?

Zalian Fletcher.

0.15 mega knots increasing by three clicks per second.