Army of Darkness (1992) Soundboard Edit

A man's body is his own personal property don't let anybody try and take that away from me

A pox on your throat! Thou art a murderer!

A pox on your throat! thou art a murderer! a black murderer!

A scout approaches!

Advance you demons! advance!

After that i'm history

Again!

Again.

All right who wants some who's next huh how about it who wants some huh who wants to have a little

All right you primitive screwheads listen up

All together now!

Alright alright

Alright!

Alright! you're pissin' me off you ugly son of a bitch!

An army of the dead gather in the wilderness and they approach the castle

And halt! company halt! company halt!

And then it came for me

And while my people fight for their very souls against it you henry the red wage war on us

Archers to the back!

Are all men from the future loudmouthed braggarts

Arise

Arrows!

Arrows! bows! load! draw!

Ash help me!

Ash to price check four

Aw well well that's just what we call pillow talk baby that's all

Aye and fought valiantly

Aye my liege

Aye sire

Back stabber!

Battle stations! get those rocks up mister on the double!

Bloody hell!

Blows blood and death!

Bound in human flesh and inked in blood this ancient sumerian text contained bizarre burial rites funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages

Bring on the wench!

Buckle up bonehead 'cause you're goin' for a ride

But know this no matter how this battle fares I was wrong to think you a coward

But last night he fell in battle to Duke Henry's men

But last night he fell in battle to duke henry's men

But that didn't stop it it came back big time

But the men are afraid!

But what of the things we've shared what of all the sweet words that you spoke in private

Buttress the door now!

By god let's give 'em what for

Catapults

Catapults! south!

Charlatan!

Close as I can figure it the year is 1300 ad and i'm being dragged to my death

Come on

Come on boy!

Come on guys!

Come on men! move it! turn it around! that's it heave ho!

Come on pick it up have a taste of this

Come on that's it

Come on you bony devils! hurry up or i'll send you to the glue factory!

Come on you miserable hotheads! lower! heave!

Come on, boy!

Come on!

Come on! come on! tilt! tilt! tilt!

Come on! I got plenty for everybody!

Come to it! come! come on fellas! push!

Come to papa!

Company halt!

Coward!

Crazy bitch get off me! you're tearing my eyes out! you witch!

Cripes I don't belong here

Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war!

Cry havoc!

Damn him!

Damn you damn you!

Damn you!

Damn you!

Damn you! (2)

Death to the mortals!

Defend the necronomicon lads or perish in the devil's fire!

Did you speak the exact words

Dig damn you!

Dig faster!

Don't touch me you foul thing!

Don't touch that please! your primitive intellect wouldn't understand alloys and compositions and things with molecular structures and

Don't you like the pit isn't the pit wonderful

Draw lads for lord and castle!

Dung eating fool! thou hast doomed us all!

Easy big fella! easy!

Elmer!

Everything's cool

Excellent

Excellent (2)

Fall back back on your horses come on

Fall back! man the pa****t!

Fine fine fine

Fire!

Fire! (2)

Fire! (3)

First you wanna kill me now you wanna kiss me blow

Five six

For king and castle!

For that arrogance I shall see you dead

Forward!

Forward! forward!

Foul thing!

Geronimo!

Get him!

Get him! (2)

Get off of her!

Get off of me!

Get that yoke off him

Gimme some sugar baby

Gimme some sugar baby (2)

Go you cretins!

God bless you sire

God save us all

God save us all.

Good I could use a horse blanket

Gotcha!

Groovy

Hah!

Hail! Hail!

Halt!

Has duke henry not answered us yet

Have you lost your bones you decomposed gobs get thee hence!

He trembles!

He was so busy filling me full of his secret little words his phrases and his bullshit that he never said anything about this!

He who is prophesied to fall from the heavens and deliver us from the terrors of the deadites

He's brought the book!

He's brought the necronomicon!

He's escaping! hold him!

He's frightened!

He's nothin' but a traitor he is!

Heavenly God!

Heavenly god!

Hello friends!

Henry you gotta tell him you don't know me we never met tell him!

Hey dumb ass!

Hey get his horse

Hey if he says spikes give him spikes

Hey is he up how is he hey he got up

Hey what's that you got on your face

Hey you're mine sweetie

Hey! look out!

Hey! wait a minute! everything's cool! I said the words I did!

Hey! what's the big idea takin'

Hey! where'd he go hey!

Hoist you damnable varlets!

Hold still!

Hold your arms! you'll hit the girl!

Honey you got real ugly

Hooray!

How about some hot chocolate huh

How are ya

How do you like this

How far from here but two days' ride

How will we fight an army of the dead at our castle walls

How will you fight that more words

How'd you like the taste of that huh how'd you like the taste

Hyah!

Hyah! (2)

Hyah! come on boy! hyah!

Hyah! come on!

I ain't that good

I am henry the red duke of shale lord of the northlands and leader of its peoples

I believe thou wilt leave in the morning

I did my part now I want back like in the deal!

I did my part now you send me back

I didn't have what it took

I do not think he'll listen lad

I don't want your book I don't want your bullshit

I got a bone to pick with you

I got a chance to go back and i'm takin' it

I got it! I got it!

I got news for you pal you ain't leadin' but two things right now jack and shit and jack left town

I had a wonderful girlfriend linda

I have the book!

I knew he couldn't be trusted we put our trust in him

I know you're scared we're all scared but that doesn't mean we're cowards

I know your damn words all right

I live again

I may be bad but I feel good

I need more men

I possess the necronomicon!

I prithee to forgive me my lord I believed thee one of henry's men

I said he'll be here he'll be here!

I say to the pit with him!

I shall command every worm infested son of a bitch that ever died in battle!

I shall rule and you shall be my queen

I still believe that thou wilt help us

I still have faith in thee I still believe that thou wilt stay and save us

I think he will not

I thought he was the one

I told you he would not come!

I wanted to say that all of my hopes and prayers go with thee and I made this for thee

I will not allow anything to keep me from possessing that necronomicon

I'll bend my bow to your will sir

I'll come back for you! i

I'll crush ya! i'll mash ya into paste you bony crea

I'll cut your gizzard out

I'll cut your throat out if I get the chance

I'll offer up my courage

I'll slice you to ribbons!

I'll slice your gizzard open!

I'll spoil those good looks

I'll stand by ya

I'm afraid!

I'm bad ash and you're good ash

I'm comin' for ya

I'm goin' up

I'm home

I'm sorry sheila

I'm tellin' you you got the wrong guy

I'm through being their garbage boy

I'm with you!

I've come from alabama with a banjo on my knee

I've crushed your pathetic army!

If I get that book you send me back

If it's a fight they're looking for they can get it!

If the deadites had the necronomicon all mankind would be consumed by this evil

In god's name what hell spawned thing lurks there

Into the pit with those bloodthirsty sons of whores!

It got into my hand and it went bad so I lopped it off at the wrist

It got into my hand and it went bad. So I Iopped it off at the wrist.

It is written arthur it has been foretold

It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find

It took linda

It was more than that

It was never meant for the world of the living

It was you who first turned your swords on us and this evil has befouled my people as well!

It wasn't always like this I had a real life once a job

It's a 12 gauge double barrelled remington s mart's top of the line

It's a trick get an axe

It's an n word it's definitely an n word it's definitely an n word

It's got a walnut stock cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger

It's the one in the cart we want get him!

It's true the book still possesses the power to send you back but to us it is useless!

Just send me back to my own time pronto today

Just what

Keep it together!

Keep your damn filthy bones out of my mouth

Keep your sardine can on bucket head!

Kill the mortals!

Klaatu barada

Klaatu barada (2)

Klaatu verata nikto

Klaatu verata nikto ok

Kneel rapscallion!

L'm sorry, Sheila. Come on

Ladders!

Let go of the sword!

Let him go!

Let's get out of here!

Let's go!

Let's go! (2)

Likely he's one of henry's men!

Little goody two shoes little goody two shoes little goody two shoes little goody two shoes! little goody two shoes! little goody two shoes!

Little goody two shoes!

Little Goody Two Shoes. Little Goody Two Shoes.

Load! fire!

London bridge is falling down falling down falling down!

Look i'm tellin' you you got the wrong guy

Look maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable no but basically I said 'em yeah

Look there! a demon!

Look there! what the blazes

Look, l'm tellin' you, you got the wrong guy

Looking glass!

Lord arthur approaches raise the portcullis!

Lord arthur where is my brother did he not ride with you

Lord arthur! lord arthur approaches!

Lt's an n word. lt's definitely an n word.

Make way

May god have mercy upon your souls

Me i'm through runnin'! I say we stay here and fight it out

Me sword!

Me sword's by his side

Most of our people have already fled

Move yourself lad!

My brother's death shall be avenged!

My fair lady!

My god! how do you stop it

My lord I believe he is the one written of in the necronomicon

My lord we are positioned on both fronts

My lord!

My name is ash and I am a slave

Necktie

Necronomicon ex mortis the book of the dead

Nectar

Nickel

No no! no no! no! no!

No wait!

No, wait

No!

No! no!

Noble gentlemen lord arthur!

Noodle

Nope just me baby just me

Nothin' here

Now ain't you a sweet little thing

Now bring me forth into that castle

Now easy now chief I don't know how I got here and i'm not lookin' for any trouble

Now get on those horses and get outta here

Now I swear the next one of you primates even touches me

Now I will have that book

Now i'll have my vengeance!

Now let's talk about how I get back home

Now pick up a shovel and get digging!

Now send me back like in the deal

Now who's with me

Now will thou quest for the book

Now you get this straight the both of you

Now you see what's what

Now you're mine!

Oh dear god it's growing bigger!

Oh god! no! no! I slept too long!

Oh hold on!

Oh i'm blind! i'm blind!

Oh my eyes! i'm blind! oh god! i'm blind!

Oh sheila don't you get it it's over

Oh shit!

Oh susanna don't you cry for me!

Oh that stinkin' wise man!

Oh you i'll get back to you

Oh you miserable bags of bones!

Oh you wanna know 'cause the answers easy

Oh! wait a minute the words alright alright alright say the words

Okay in in!

Okay little fella

Okay then! that's it

Once I possess the necronomicon

Only the necronomicon has the power an unholy book which we also require

Only you the promised one can quest for it

Onward valiant cousins! their ranks are broke!

Ooh that's gotta hurt

Oops

Oops excuse me come on

Oops!

Open wide!

Perhaps we should leave as soon as possible we could be safe in the mountains

Pick up your feet stop draggin' your feet come on move along come on now

Pick yourselves up and sally for sally f sally forth!

Plastics! manufactured products!

Play dead!

Probably was raised in a barn with all the other primitives

Protect the book!

Quickly now you worthless fools! they'll be on us anon!

Quietly gently

Quit your belly aching!

Raise the portcullis!

Ram the gates!

Ramming speed!

Ready aim fire!

Ready the catapults!

Retails for about 109 95

Retreat! retreat! let's get the hell out of here!

Right

Right! you're no better!

Rocks! stone these creatures!

Sally forth!

Say hello to the 21st century yeah!

Sayonara sucker!

See how that works

See this this is my boomstick!

Seek cover!

Seek cover!

Seek your children!

Seek your children!

Sheila

Sheila!

Shop smart shop s mart

Shut your bleedin' hole!

Sire there's a second division approaching from the south

Six drops one two three four five

So l swallowed the juice, said the words, and here l am.

So long

So what's the deal can you send me back or not

So when do you think we can start with all the thing and the

So you wanna play rough eh okay

Something's wrong something's amiss

South flank to the western wall! now!

Spikes

Stay with the book

Steady

Steady now whoa

Steady the horses!

Storm the walls!

Strange one

Strange one!

Surf's up!

Swallow six drops thou shall awaken in thine own time

Sword boy!

Tally ho!

Thank you generous hosts!

That one

That would be the safest place

That'll teach you yeah that'll teach you

That's it go ahead and run run home and cry to mama!

That's it,

That's right shop smart shop s mart

The book awoke something dark in the woods

The book is mine!

The book tells us that each drop allows a man to sleep for a century

The book's where we are

The evil has a terrible hunger for the necronomicon and it will come here to get it

The moment of truth is almost here you men better not fail me now

The necronomicon quickly did you bring the necronomicon

The necronomicon!

The only reason i'm goin' to get the book is to get home

The red! the red! duke henry and his men have come!

The sortie on the second flank will stand it must

The wise men shall return you to your own time

The wise men were fools to trust in you

The wisemen say that thou art the promised one

Then we'll get henry the red and his men to fight with us

There is an evil awakened in this land

There my lord beyond the drawbridge in the second wall

There the necronomicon awaits

There we are

There we are

There! the promised one! the promised one's returned!

There's a sight for sore bones

There's so damned many of them

These winged ones are only the first of them

They don't look so clever now

They'll swallow our souls

They'll take our souls

They're coming! the deadites approach!

They've breached the first wall! what next

This path will lead you to an unholy place a cemetery

This sweet baby was made in grand rapids michigan

Thou shalt soon learn the horrors of the pit

Three books wait a minute hold it nobody said anything about three books

To the castle!

To the castle! to the castle!

To the pit! you miserable bastard!

To the walls!

Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains

Torch boy!

Tricky ones they are if it's a fight you want

Truly he is the promised one!

Um hardware aisle 12

Up the ladders lads! to the safety of the pa****ts!

Very well as we are men of our word we shall honor our bargain

Victory's ours!

Wait a minute oh god! I can't move!

Wait a minute you gotta understand man I never even saw these assholes before

Watch 'em lads they're an untrustworthy lot

Watch out! make way!

We are but 60 men

We are deserted!

We are deserted! (2)

We are saved!

We can take these deadites we can take 'em! with science

We can't hold the battlements!

We got plans for you girly girl move!

We had a deal

We shall feast upon your soul!

We shall storm their castle and get my book

We will hold! we must protect the book!

We'll crush them! we'll strike again!

We'll ram it down the bastard's throat!

We'll stand by you! hail! hail! hail! hail!

We're brothers! and a new kingdom shall be born!

We're overwhelmed!

We're saved!

We've broken through! the castle is ours!

We've secured the courtyard my lord

We've won the day yeah! yeah!

Welcome back to the land of the living

Welcome home!

Well

Well hello mr fancy pants

Well my dear say hello to the boys

Well repeat them

Well seems fairly obvious

Well won my friend

What a horrible nightmare

What a piece of armour this is!

What am I supposed to do take one book or all books or or what

What are you are you me

What are you are you me (2)

What are you doing here anyway

What are you waiting for

What is it boy

What is it, boy?

What that buffoon

What what is it

What's the matter you raised in a barn shut the door

When do you think we can start with all the ceremony and you know like

When thou misspoke the words the army of the dead awoke!

When thou retrievest the book from its cradle you must recite the words klaatu verata nikto

When you removed the necronomicon from the cradle did you speak the words

Where are they keeping my book

Where are you takin' me

Where is henry the red

Where the hell

Where'd you go where'd you

Where's henry the red why's he not

Who are you

Who rules you my lord! you sir!

Who wants to know

Whoa whoa wait a minute hold it

Whoa whoa whoa right there spinach chin

Whoa wrong book

Why are you doing this

Why you

Why you (2)

Why you (3)

Wiseman!

Within its pages are passages that can send you back to your time

Wretched excuse for a man!

Yeah

Yeah baby!

Yeah basically

Yeah great great get the fuck outta my face!

Yeah it's it's just that

Yeah right 'cause that was the deal

Yeah, baby!

Yeah!

Yeah! i'm gonna hunt down all you

Yes yes the mountains! we must flee!

Yes!

Yo she bitch let's go

Yo, she bitch

You can count on my steel

You can find this in the sporting goods department

You can run but you can't hide!

You found me beautiful once

You got me

You got that

You had us going my lady

You know 'cause sooner is always better than later right

You know your shoelace is untied

You little bastards! alright i'll crush each and every one of you i'll crush you to pieces i'm telling you! i'll squash you so hard you'll have to look up to see

You lousy little

You men you've got something to look forward to when you get to the castle

You people seek cover! to the pa****t!

You said there was a passage in there that could get rid of this thing and send me back

You said you could clean this mess up once you got that book

You shall die!

You shall never retrieve the necronomicon!

You shall never retrieve the Necronomicon.

You shall never take the necronomicon

You sir are not one of my vassals

You sound like a jerk!

You there handsomely now

You wanted the book, l got it for you. l did my part, now you send me back.

You wanted the damn book I got it for ya

You would leave me

You you want some more huh you want a little do you do you want some more huh huh

You'll die in the graveyard before you get it!

You're going down!

You're goody little two shoes you're goody little two shoes goody little two shoes

You've spoiled my plan for conquest and now you're going to die!

Your hand man godspeed!

Your people are no better than the foul corruption that lies in the bowels of that pit

l believe thou wilt leave in the morning

We've secured the courtyard, m'lord. Excellent.

Wiseman! (soIdier) Fall back. Back on your horses

'tis said that thou wilt journey for the book to help us and thou wilt lead our people against the evil

(all yell)

(ash blows gun barrel sound)

(ash laughing)

(ash screams in pain)

(ash screams while falling in water)

(ash screams)

(ash yells)

(Ash) Hyah!

(bad ash cheering)

(bad ash growling)

(bad ash head turning noise)

(bad ash screams while being catapulted)

(belches)

(bones breaking noise)

(bones falling noise)

(both gasp)

(both scream)

(boulders falling)

(bow and arrow sound)

(bow and arrow sound) (2)

(car falling sound)

(coughs)

(creature screams)

(distant scream)

(dynamite fuse fizzing sound)

(dynamite fuse fizzing sound) (2)

(dynamite fuse fizzling explosion)

(electricity crackling)

(explosion)

(face slap sound)

(gun shot)

(gun shot) (2)

(gunshot)

(gunshot) (2)

(head banging sound)

(horse neighing)

(horse neighing) (2)

(horse neighing) (3)

(impish laughter)

(kicks skeleton head sound)

(laughing)

(lion roaring)

(little ash laughing)

(little ash screams)

(man screams)

(people cheering)

(screams)

(sinister voice echoing)

(skeleton laughing)

(skeleton laughing) (2)

(skeleton screaming)

(sword cutting rope sound)

(sword draw sound)

(swords drawing sound)

(wind howling)