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Home > Eric Cartman Soundboard (Seasons 1-2)
And make it hanging and sticky.
And my. Bye, bye.
And stop your bitching!
And the same thing with my mom the other day. I'm all like. You can't anymore. Now I'm at your dog and if I want to finger paint, then I'm going to finger paint.
And yes, I'm starting to have flashbacks. Stanford pull up, flank, lookout for Charlie up in the trees.
And yet another hippie Pete. Wendy.
And your dad. English. Burning. OK.
Are you gay? I'm going home.
Are you wet?
Basically, you guys, I don't wanna be in your panties shopping family anyway.
Because you make money, but our friendship? Would you like to meet friendship or snacky cakes?
Black people in China.
Bracket 40 miles. Now you know what the speed limit is.
Brightness. God damn it.
Calla Vallecas.
Can I help you? Ready to kill babies or Casey Snake?
Can I say maybe that's just because you look like a turtle.
Can you hear me?
Can't believe I got sent to the principals office because of your stupid girlfriend.
Check your God damn map.
Come on, let me kick you in the nuts for it.
Coming down. Coming Highways. I'm making you talk.
Damn it. Have you guys said?
Damn it. That way. He.
Dance. Yeah.
Democrat kidney app.
Do I have a dad?
Do you hear something? I think I hear the flower children calling.
Don't be such a fool. What do you think?
Excuse me, but I do believe that just.
Excuse me, I am a last little boy. Could you help me?
Excuse me, new kid. I didn't mean to fart on you. I didn't have a choice.
Garage hate you, Kenny.
Get honey. I was just down in the SPC kicking it with some cheese on the West side.
Go back.
God damn it, my mom is not on the cover of Crack her magazine.
God damn you.
God damn, I hate that crap here in front of me. I'd be like, hey, you stupid son of a bitch, you didn't kick you in the nuts.
Gonna have that Tom Hanks in it.
Good luck with your peanut crack.
Happy, happy, happy. Tell you Bye bye. Hello. Tell your boy me so horny. Me Love you long time. Robbery.
He said I can have it put in. Ask him yourself. Hey, baby. Key.
Hey guys, you're so funny. No matter how I'm feeling, I can always count on you. Guys like me? Yes.
Hey, are you gay?
Hey, wait a minute. Remember that time finally jumped over the bushes with his motorcycle?
Hey, you guys wanna come to my place tomorrow? Maybe.
Hey, you're back, damn it.
Hi, Grandma. It's me, Eric. OK, bye.
I am a cop and you will respect my daughter.
I am very deadly Mexican. I am very scammy and angry.
I brought your freaking head off.
I cannot possibly eat when my bed.
I don't know how to do it doggy style.
I don't think I have to fight anymore tonight.
I don't think.
I got a better idea. Why don't you 2 go to your dad?
I guess the shopping is about to commence.
I hate you. I want you to die.
I hope that one day America could be more like Angel. Angel. They had kids anywhere and barbecued. And your mother in America.
I hope we're not wasting our time with this little package.
I I heard that today that when you.
I know drugs are bad because if you do drugs, you're a hippie and hippie shit.
I know I didn't have an annual problem, and I know that I am not under alien control. I love the singer about the moon and the junior and the Springer. I love singer. Two or three 4/2.
I love you, Dad. Reader.
I love you, Daddy.
I love you. I'm talking. In layman.
I wanna know where I came from.
I wanna relax.
I would never catch somebody, not that they picked me up.
I would never let a woman kick my ass If she tried anything. I'd be like I did. Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie.
I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her swearing the night.
I'm not fat. I just haven't grown into my body yet, you skinny bitch.
I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. I don't need to hear crap from a bunch of hippies freaks living in denial. Great you guys and getting hand screw you gay.
If you're so smart, why do they live in igloos?
In the language, in the world. What page does the English? And then they find the magical camel which they have to eat to stay in that. And that's pretty much it. I give it a bee manus.
It can be real, man. I'm gonna have to smack it in the fight.
It has to be a happy burger around here somewhere.
It is like again I use it now.
It's got a bunch of tree hugging hippie crap.
It's my bag, isn't it?
Ja, ja.
Jessica You need to catch too early and wait for the hot tub.
Kidding me?
Kiss my Kitty Kitty, my love your packy. Yeah, yeah.
Let me think, yes.
Lord of the Mountain behind my Patrick Duffy leg.
Lucky with attention. It is a tough and handsome thank you and pretension and what do you think about me? Cried Fraud. Friends. Wow.
Make my way.
Man, you guys are hella stupid. If I had money, I wouldn't give it to you, asshole.
Mannequin. You don't hear this another day. That's funny.
Maybe I can work in a sweatshirt for a while. I'm gonna go play in the backyard.
More than your wig, American weapons to destroy me.
My answer says it's smoking crack is kind of cool.
My aunt is killing me.
My birthday. OK.
My father is not here with my father. Gay. Gay.
My goodness, I can never dress. You are wearing Polly pretty kids. Yeah. Yes. Everybody likes you very much.
My man says there's a lot of black people in Africa.
My mom said if you want to become a lesbian, you have to lick carpet.
My mom says you're not supposed to cover the penis, Kenny. You're supposed to cover the fireman. That's the proper way to say it, right? You get a spanking.
Native American team and the bear is very important to my people.
No way, dude. Kenny family put They live in the ghetto.
Now we have $3.00 left.
Now, can I buy your bike or do I have to kick you in the nest and start it?
Oh my God, I'm a black African American.
Oh, oh.
Ohh Jesus that you fucking kidding me.
Ohh yeah, I'm gonna take my car when your bean bag and see what happens. But cracking?
Ohh, I remember. I shoved it up my ass.
OK, that is not. Nothing.
OK, that's better. What's the language? There's children present, yeah.
OK, that's it. There you go. Bing.
OK. Kitty cat.
Picking it up.
Play Jamie Sweet.
Printer. Ricky Matchmaker.
Put a paper. Thank you, living Christy.
Red paper, Pick me up.
Revenge is so very very sweet.
Right. Like I'm saying, hippie Indian.
Say what? Hey. Let's see here. Here we go. You wake up. Thank you.
She doesn't text me.
She said she was young and needed the money.
Shut up. I didn't pay my pay.
Shut your God damn, man, or else I'm gonna kick you square in the Bronx. Ask her.
So who put it? Who daddy in your Chacha?
So you expect my Polish? Got your Helene?
Staying alone in your house.
Stinky, stinky. I'll take it. OK.
Take care.
Taking a pounding at here can stand there on my dad.
Tanya, you guys get your own.
Tea Party pissy pants. Party, Party. Party. Michael Jackson, take that back. Yes, please. Yeah, you said too. I just hand, yeah. Anybody like you? Recipes.
Teddy gives me and I tell her shut her up. Anyway.
Thank you so much. Internet.
That all your dreams you came with your girl and leaving Prince, please, OK. Thank God.
That said, I like playing with myself. I play with myself all day long.
That's a bunch of crap, Kyle. Mom is a dirty Jew.
That's all you want. I'm the one who's going to be on TV looking all buff.
That's right. I did. You got, you got, you got. Hello. Hello.
That's what I call a sticky situation.
The back breaking time, Jimmy.
There, you tell me when independence and it isn't about gay Cowboys eating pudding.
They had a bunch of gay Cowboys eating pudding, Huh?
They have written a paper about Davin. Davin is stupid. If they're so damn right, how can they get caught in a fishing net out of town?
This guy sucks.
Turning. Name. Hey.
University. I'm gonna go chill with my my dad.
Very, very quiet. I'm hunting Cloverdale.
We want you to give our parents herpes.
Weather. I didn't hear anybody ever heard inside the paint.
Well, let's see. Maybe. Big Dick.
What are you saying?
What if I got you?
What the hell are you doing?
What the hell is a brick?
What the hell makes you think Cartman rides a bull?
What's wrong with me? Let's see. And I hate you guys. You're so stupid.
Where I don't see any. Jaguar. Batman. That fight and see if it hurts. Come on, Jaguar, let's see what you got. It's not a big cat.
Where you guys are the best? Thank you guys.
Yay, yes, that was me. I was on television.
Yeah dude, I think your dog is gay. That dog is a gay homosexual.
Yeah, he may go back to Woodstock if you can't shoot anything.
Yeah, I didn't wanna do it, did. They made me do that.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, I think I listen, I'm actually a naive American.
Yeah, I wanna get a circumcision 10.
Yeah, in case.
Yeah, it's a girl tried to kick my ass. I'd be like, I Why don't you stop dressing me up like a mermaid? She's making me dance for you while you guys smoke crack in your bedroom and have sex with s...
Yeah, like, can you please?
Yeah, now get out of here. The flight ticket in the net.
Yeah, picking, penny, picking in.
Yeah, right. You guys can kiss my black ass.
Yeah, shut up, dude.
Yeah, you guys. Whatever.
Yeah. Bad cat.
Yes, and I've learned something too. Well, that is sweet because you make a lot of money and when you have money, you don't have to hang out with any poor ass losers like you Just screw you again a...
Yes, and if you don't, you're a big dumbass European hippie piece of crap.
Yes, the fireman is very magical. If you wear his helmet, he spits in your ass.
Yes, Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Yes. Angie has to eat.
You are my best friend. I think you are very different people in the world and you are not. Yeah. OK.
You are the coolest guy in the world. This is amazing. Well, thank you, Peter Panda, it's distinctive, OK. Play.
You better stop being so poor. I'm going to start hucking rocks at you.
You got me. Batman.
You gotta turn your pocket. I'm going home. I'm hungry.
You guesses behavior is having an adverse effect on my education.
You guys are my best friend. Together with other kids, having fun all day, padding around and laughing away. Just best friends. Best friends. Love you.
You owe me a sweetie pie.
You're not gonna. Pat.
Your family is your dad and alcoholic too.
Your mom is a stupid bitch. Doesn't mean the whole world has to suffer. Yes, ma'am. Baby.
¿Qué? Je, je, je, je.
2nd. And Kelly, I can't.
3. Please check it out you guys. You don't even have to put 1/4 in it.