Superstore (2015) - Season 5 Edit

A 60 year old Colombian woman

A 75 cent wage increase?

A and I'm really glad that you're still looking

A and we only talk if it's completely necessary.

A and what do I tell my guys?

A bit spontaneous. [Chuckles]

A bite out of their TV and, like,

A book? [Chuckles]

A card? [Laughs]

A character testimony to help with his case.

A chunk of my hair fell out,

A corporate spy.

A disadvantaged, filthy Muppet?

A documented history of returns.

A family is the greatest gift that you can give a child and...

A few crumbs and expect a thank you.

A few of lately.

A fish anymore, so you just stop feeding it

A glass of wine, is...

A hawk, fog and foam,

A heart surgeon that's a father of six,

A higher level of security.

A household name we all know!

A laptop cued to the 11 o'clock news...

A lesson.

A little bit differently here today.

A little getting to know you period.

A little nervous about how you're gonna be

A little self care, you know?

A little St. Patrick's Day humor there for you.

A long message, she sends each word individually.

A lot less racist towards the end.

A lot of birds,

A lot of blood, though. That's that is...

A lot of foam. Somebody didn't tilt.

A lot of people assume I'm the younger sister,

A lot of people have never talked to me before.

A lot of people would say it's your only move.

A lot of these frustrations

A lot.

A lovely toast,

A nice lady like Myrtle... I mean, there's no way

A nice, hot cup of cider to enjoy while you wait!

A parlor.

A piñata full of condoms, and now I'm even questioning that.

A police report so long as you pay $200?

A Polish guy and a blonde walk into a bar.

A pretty primo spot there above the ground.

A profile? Of me?

A really... a really good movie.

A rodeo.

A second ago, you seemed so annoyed

A snow cone?

A standard exchange of solids.

A swing and a miss

A tech conglomerate just might want to check out

A teenager bought 144 cans of chafing fuel,

A third.

A very emotional moment with Brett,

A video conference? Why?

A vigil for your friend

A, that's just too much for 8:00 a.m.,

Abandon us for that California life?

About "white savior complex," and I guess that's me.

About a friend named Chris.

About going to med school for three years,

About her body type other than it was quote,

About how Bill Cosby was framed?

About how great you're doing.

About how it all came to light.

About how much longer do you need me to...

About how we do it or what it meant.

About how when you were in the Phoenix airport,

About how you don't want Myrtle to have a good afterlife.

About that display.

About the "me" part of this.

About the favoritism at this store

About the floor supervisor thing?

About the play that he wrote in theater camp?

About the salmon thing,

About the size of a baseball, she said.

About time. Kill Glen.

About your changing bodies.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

Absolutely nothing happened for years.

Absolutely, you should.

Acting like not an idiot.

Active organ donor.

Actually make a difference.

Actually pull that off in real life, right?

Actually your relationships are very simple.

Actually, Amy introduced us.

Actually, Amy's just showing me around a little

Actually, do you know what would go really good with this?

Actually, I coulda shut it down before,

Actually, I have an announcement.

Actually, I... I like that better.

Actually, Matilda had some pretty steamy scenes in it.

Actually, my parents don't know about the Rita thing.

Actually, no.

Actually, she's not dead.

Actually, sometimes, it's the friendliest DMs

Actually, starting an hour ago.

Actually, that, um

Actually, there's a lot of yelling involved,

Actually, uh, I went to visit Mateo again yesterday,

Actually, um, the other day, I got so mad at Emma

Address our breakfast needs,

Adoption isn't that simple. It can be a long process.

After a wasted unicorn.

After I killed her birds.

After the ICE raid last week.

Again, it... it's not a prank. I'm... I'm teaching Garrett

Again, not our... oh, no!

Again, totally gay.

Again, we are so, so sorry.

Against wearing a blue polo with a blue vest.

Aged up Dora?

Aggressively patriotic T shirt... oh, yeah.

Agree to disagree.

Ah Mateo, that's awesome!

Ah, come on, you're not gonna win if you don't play.

Ah, come on. The house party, Rita.

Ah, come on. You don't wanna put this garbage in your body.

Ah, he probably used voice to text.

Ah, I don't know about huge deal,

Ah, I was just wondering if I could take off just a, a tiny bit early?

Ah, I was probably 25

Ah, it's great. T shirt activism.

Ah, it's not the worst idea.

Ah, it's so dry.

Ah, man!

Ah, okay, um... Jesus Christ...

Ah, Sand... Sandra, I am gonna have you

Ah, see? There's always a catch.

Ah, so mostly just Top 40 stuff?

Ah, some, uh... some pretty big numbers

Ah, that sounds amazing!

Ah, the "I've got nothing to hide" argument.

Ah, then you admit you're a thief.

Ah, well, we were literally wearing name tags,

Ah, where's the printer? Who moved the printer?

Ah, you could've fooled me.

Ah, you were right.

Ah!

Ah! Sorry I'm late.

Ah.

Ah.

Ah... Especially the American ones.

Ah... It's a pipe organ.

Aha, how about these?

Ahh, did you see the top she was wearing?

Ahh, I'm so glad we finally got some downtime.

Alex, could you... thank you.

All because you couldn't hack it.

All day long to make men feel comfortable.

All for you, but I just...

All good. Just, uh, trying to get through

All he wants to do is open your eyelid

All I need from you

All I'm saying is that 21 is literally the last good age,

All I'm saying is that maybe instead of forcing your child

All I've got is, he's a good employee,

All Latinas.

All Lyfts nationwide.

All men have left are the NFL and the country.

All of a sudden, all the words you know are wrong,

All of this up. Amy's on her way with...

All organic, and only $13. Cash only.

All over and your lungs shrink...

All right, all right,

All right, all right.

All right, all right. Come here, little buddy.

All right, everybody, this isn't the real party.

All right, fine, okay, all right, fine, go ahead.

All right, fine. I'll tell you the truth.

All right, fine. Then we will do it this way.

All right, Garrett, give everyone their money back,

All right, Glenn, I got it all cued up.

All right, go ahead. Have fun in there.

All right, guys, listen up.

All right, I am ready to talk union.

All right, I got burgers.

All right, I texted Amy and she's not responding,

All right, I'll be back in a few.

All right, I'll see you back out there.

All right, if you pass this course,

All right, it checks out.

All right, let me try this, all right?

All right, let's continue with hypothetical scenarios.

All right, let's get drunk

All right, look, a union is our best shot

All right, look, Dina, I don't have any beef

All right, look, I'll give you a half an hour.

All right, look. Dina, I wanna help you out,

All right, Mateo, could you play Dock Worker

All right, Mom, I gotta bounce.

All right, my man, good work.

All right, no bags in housewares.

All right, okay. Ready?

All right, so, this turned into a date.

All right, surf's up.

All right, there's a scarf in here.

All right, this is how this is gonna go.

All right, we gotta make sure you win her over.

All right, we're moving on.

All right, well, here are some defenses

All right, well, she's gonna scare this guy off.

All right, well, since you're all a bunch of babies,

All right, well, um, we have a power outage.

All right, you know what? I know what it...

All right!

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right.

All right. Babies at their mark!

All right. Thank you.

All right. Yeah.

All take a day off whenever we wanted.

All that sex and no baby.

All the talk about unionizing just sort of went away

All the way to the airport to get Sbarro's?

All to try and make your daughter think you're cool.

All we should be worried about is keeping them

All you have to do is plant some illegal drugs

All you have to do is show you care.

All you have to do today

All: ♪ Pizza at supper time ♪ Guys, are you guys...

All: ♪ When pizza's on a bagel ♪

All: Ah.

All: Aww.

All: Yeah.

All: Yeah.

All... all girls.

Allison.

Almost. It's either gonna be

Along with the updated employee information.

Along with your palm fronds and your bowl of g****s.

Already did it, man. You're good to go... hoop it up.

Also a fan of my locker.

Also as part of Cloud 9.0,

Also enjoy wondering what we put in the other pillows.

Also not a word we should be using.

Also there's a product locator, an inventory map,

Also, Cloud 9.0?

Also, I found a couple options in Menlo Park.

Also, is it getting chilly in here?

Also, she said that the manager at Hilldale has a micropenis.

Also, you know, if a school isn't the right fit for somebody...

Although brunch wouldn't kill you.

Although I do like the Samaritans.

Although lately, purple's sort of having a day.

Although Zephra is a fine company

Although, 50 is a lot,

Although, I do wonder if there's an opportunity here

Although, it is always the last person who you'd think.

Although, they're usually much older.

Always penises.

Am I right, gals?

Amazing! Let's do that.

Amazing. Thank you, Dina.

Amazing. You're so helpful.

American, influencer, philanthropist,

Amy and I combined Spotify accounts last night.

Amy and I just had a lovely talk in the bathroom.

Amy and I just have a connection.

Amy asked me as a favor to watch the robot, and I am.

Amy electrocuted her.

Amy got her profile on the Zephra website.

Amy is not gonna be happy about this.

Amy is the store manager

Amy Sosa, sorry I didn't see you there.

Amy Sosa?

Amy Sosa. So nice to meet you.

Amy was just telling me about some

Amy will swoop in to smack us around.

Amy, are you creeping on your brother?

Amy, do you want to weigh in here?

Amy, get in front.

Amy, I asked you to lunch

Amy, I can't go in there, okay?

Amy, I know what you're doing.

Amy, I need to report an employee theft.

Amy, I think everyone's just trying to be safe.

Amy, I... I think we both know what I want.

Amy, is there a second place?

Amy, it is so cool.

Amy, just admit that you're wrong

Amy, my baby's future is on the line.

Amy, no one saw that movie.

Amy, right?

Amy, sorry to interrupt,

Amy, stop.

Amy, tell him.

Amy, the things you've been suppressing

Amy, they exploit their workers.

Amy, this is kind of a private moment.

Amy, us men of the store

Amy, wait!

Amy, what the hell?

Amy, what's the scoop on the poop?

Amy, why don't you and I go have lunch?

Amy, why don't you tell my dad about

Amy, you are blowing this!

Amy, you need to go change into leather Sandy right now.

Amy, you work full time. You're doing the best you can.

Amy?

Amy?

Amy...

Amy's gone,

An alarming number of times to say "exciting."

An entire jar of olives.

An extra pair of hands.

An office is one of those rooms with a desk in it.

And "I'm not a spy" is what you'd say if you were a spy.

And "in need," but... but thank you.

And "Uncle Phil is on the move, I repeat",

And a certificate from my organization,

And a former Olympic athlete,

And a half eaten box of chocolates.

And a lot of fun to be around in medium quantities.

And a turd had a baby? She just walked in.

And Adam's at a convention learning how to do beekeeping.

And after all of that, we still can't afford rent

And again, Carol, I am so sorry,

And again, Mateo,

And all goes well, I'll... I'll make sure

And all your favorite

And also getting to work in the morning

And also I'm going through all the "Fast & Furious" movies,

And also in the future.

And Amy, my next call's at the Taipei store,

And Amy's like, "Bup, bup, bup, Colleen.

And an e reader?

And an engagement party is clearly not on my list of duties.

And apologize to customers when these two can't hack it.

And apparently this is one of the nicer places.

And ask our customers to round up

And B, it's not too late for her to fire me.

And be greeted by the cereal bar!

And be your new assistant.

And because the amount of actual sewage

And before that I was a dog groomer

And Bo and I were late on the rent last month.

And breakfast.

And bring it out to the customer.

And C.J. DiBono would know. I mean, he's...

And Carol's not answering her walkie.

And check the date of our next delivery.

And Cher has..

And children in restraints down here.

And complained about a sandwich that she made at home.

And Corporate won't set another meeting until March.

And dance with our cat.

And did something actually great with it.

And didn't see the cards,

And don't be so excited about it.

And don't worry, I will get you your dead fish back ASAP.

And download some games?

And dressy.

And dropped off this envelope they found in her stuff,

And eat Faberge eggs for breakfast.

And Eddie in bakery does this drag show,

And egg all over your tiny, tiny, bush baby face.

And Eric hasn't been by in an hour, so...

And Eugene would stay on my payroll,

And even if you did, I'm sure you'd have a good reason.

And even though there's some distance between us...

And everybody here is just, like, fine with that?

And fake the shot?

And feel secretly powerful all day?

And finally, good news:

And finally...

And for 9:00 a.m., a lot of our customers are drunk.

And for me, I'd finally get my couch back.

And for the people here.

And frankly, he needs to be punished.

And friendly competition, right?

And friendly lady

And Garrett is saying that she has.

And Garrett's gonna break her heart?

And get out

And get us our self driving cars.

And g**** eyeballs just to survive.

And Harmonica keeps needing new clothes.

And hasn't stopped.

And have her first impression of us

And have to pay them child support.

And have unicorns feed you g****s?

And he does the dishes.

And he doesn't have parents, you know?

And he just takes good pictures.

And he makes an amazing grilled cheese sandwich.

And he mentioned that you hadn't been yet,

And he said we could probably fit your shark tank

And he sold you down the river.

And he told me he'd love to see you.

And he's been it for, like, the whole time. Um...

And he's Floor Supervisor now,

And he's living with us, just for a few days.

And he's trying to get less attention from women...

And here are your receipts.

And here I am very generously offering you a package deal.

And heroin

And hire somebody do the actual, you know, work part.

And his work ethic is an example for us all."

And hit a transformer box, weirdly.

And how it responds to my touch.

And how to decide which one's better.

And I accidentally let go of his hand

And I also share some of that credit.

And I am speaking to all of you, obviously...

And I am. It's pretty obvious.

And I came up from the floor,

And I couldn't find my way out for 45 minutes.

And I definitely didn't talk about her behind your back.

And I didn't even name him.

And I don't blame her.

And I don't do drugs

And I don't even know if that's a show or a fire.

And I don't even know what I mean by this,

And I don't steal Splenda packets.

And I don't understand what they're saying.

And I don't want to become a meme

And I don't want to make it worse.

And I drizzle it over vanilla ice cream.

And I figured, like, if I did a really good job,

And I found one of Parker's pacifiers.

And I get it, that the med school lie was nuts,

And I had them bring in the water fountain

And I had this dream of selling belt buckle knives.

And I have something to live for for once?"

And I I just thought maybe...

And I just need to verify some records.

And I just needed to tell someone.

And I just wanted to tell you that Dina...

And I just... I'm just wondering,

And I know everything there is to know about our customers,

And I know I said that it was possibly problematic

And I know I'm supposed to be like a free wheeling,

And I know Matilda would be too.

And I know that because I have a hunch.

And I know that sounds braggy,

And I know you feel bad about the union,

And I lean over to Jerry

And I look the other way.

And I love that you have a connection with the baby.

And I love you.

And I made that dream come true.

And I mean, I know this is silly,

And I need a floor supervisor,

And I need to interrogate this suspect.

And I plan to get you paid for it.

And I promise to text you updates as soon as I can.

And I said no party for Sandra.

And I see you've got multiple layers

And I think it's time that a man was in charge here.

And I think she's progressive.

And I think this totally nice

And I thought instead of heading up

And I thought maybe I'd see if I could have a lunch date.

And I thought they could go on a date.

And I thought you'd be interested in that.

And I tracked down somebody special.

And I try, but he goes through.

And I used my last sick day today.

And I wanna give him a picture of the two of us together,

And I want Carol to be my co maid of honor.

And I was hoping you could be cool about this,

And I was just getting a little protective,

And I was like, "Amy, what's going on?"

And I was like, "I don't care. Write me up."

And I was like, "I think I just broke my tailbone,

And I will bet you 50 bucks I'm right

And I will do everything in my power

And I will not be bald for my wedding!

And I'd have to wait for the water to freeze

And I'll be on my merry way.

And I'll be there for you when you do, 'cause we're friends.

And I'll call them.

And I'll fire you in front of Maya.

And I'll give them my credit card. I mean, it's the least I can do

And I'll stop doing things like this.

And I'm a... I'm a woman of my word.

And I'm already here so...

And I'm definitely planning to adopt,

And I'm engaged to be married.

And I'm excited for you.

And I'm glad Kelci figured that out.

And I'm gonna be, like, in a hammock, swinging and chilling.

And I'm gonna let one of you guys

And I'm gonna wear a gorgeous white gown,

And I'm happy to.

And I'm just like, "Mamá, ven acá."

And I'm just saying I'm not the spoiled wealthy guy

And I'm not about to compromise my morals

And I'm not even getting paid.

And I'm not mad at the view either.

And I'm not sure line dancers take kindly to boat people.

And I'm not the only one who thinks it.

And I'm not thinking about my life.

And I'm not willing to clean anyone's garage

And I'm sorry about that,

And I'm staying on my kid's flute teacher's couch,

And I'm still here.

And I'm sure I can find somebody else to cover for me.

And I'm the one who's locked up?

And I'm truly honored to be serving the community

And I'm trying to get through to Corporate...

And I'm wondering if maybe I should take the reins

And I've been taking photos of all the bad outfits

And I've been waiting in my car.

And I've been wanting it for a very long time.

And if anything,

And if I'm being honest, Rose has kind of a weird smell.

And if someone felt compelled to throw one,

And if you follow the news,

And if you have any problems,

And if you sell yours first,

And if you want, we can also do the fish and strawberries.

And if you were actually doing the work,

And imagine he's dead.

And in my experience,

And in this case, someone so close to you

And it comes al dente.

And it didn't hurt anybody,

And it doesn't matter what his name is.

And it is crunch time.

And it is gonna be... good.

And it just seems like if you want me

And it makes sense, 'cause you know,

And it might be good news, in which case I'd be shocked,

And it never will if I'm not allowed to ask it to.

And it probably won't be the most fish.

And it took a second, but everyone agreed with me.

And it turns out that Mateo set up that endcap

And it was blocking the way.

And it was great

And it wasn't easy,

And it went over great. I booked three more weddings.

And it'll be good for Parker

And it's addressed to "Sweet Prince Jonah"

And it's debilitating

And it's his birthday, and all I have left to give him is

And it's not gambling when it's a sure thing.

And it's not really up to me to make better choices.

And it's right by a park so Parker could play

And it's such a long shot that

And it's, like, loose and it's rolling around

And Jerry leans over to me and says...

And Jerry, calm as a cucumber,

And Jerusha and I have our hands so full with Rose.

And Jonah seems so sure.

And just like any time a new parent comes into the picture,

And just rip them up.

And just snuggle in.

And just to be clear,

And just to be clear,

And just to be clear:

And K Fai is making out with Greg!

And Kelci dumped you because you're a jackass.

And lastly, we're launching curbside pickup today,

And leave us with no contract.

And let her know I hate her salmon.

And let him work for me.

And let me get through shift assignments.

And let me sleep for four hours.

And let me tell you, that is not what she wanted to hear.

And let's be honest, it will,

And listen to the neighbors fight.

And look at these cat ears. Amazing!

And made it to the roof.

And mail it to the hospital.

And make a good first impression.

And make it all about me.

And make it bigger

And make me hold their babies while they change its diapers.

And make sure I'm not tied to it at all

And make sure something's not wrong.

And Marcus out a lot, so I was thinking maybe

And Margo wanted to leave early.

And Mateo... [chuckles]

And Mateo's nice, sometimes, in a way.

And Maya's gonna see that, you know,

And maybe I'm crazy, but I feel like we had a...

And maybe the fun fashion stuff, but that's it.

And more of this.

And most importantly,

And most of his underwear.

And most of Reddit.

And my decision is...

And my heat broke, so I have to stay with friends.

And my liver is on high alert.

And my place was trashed.

And need the dead fish, so...

And need to stop to pull passengers

And neither are you.

And no drama.

And no one's giving because they've already given to you.

And not like the way most people here are useless.

And not shower and eat pizza.

And now I can't just pick Mateo

And now I'm the free sample guy.

And now it's counting down again.

And now it's done!

And now it's just a race against the clock

And now it's your thing forever.

And now other super mom is gonna go check the inventory!

And now the new CEO?

And now they got these rad shirts

And now we are having a completely unscheduled lunch.

And now you give me the cold shoulder.

And now, I'm going to pass it on to the best man,

And obviously you're not, like, a "manager" manager

And occasionally men?

And of course they had to put it on my cute ankle.

And on your way out, give that bag of meth back to Dina."

And one of these days, she's gonna let me watch them

And only let women work here from now on.

And our vendor dropped all of our frozen seafood

And Parker's been a little difficult lately, so...

And playing with human toys.

And plus, I mean,

And promise not to freak out?

And pull it taut.

And put it in the closet?

And put the the little helmets on the soldiers.

And read my Bible for a bit.

And realized they're missing a brown one.

And refresh my memory, does Biscuit have lumps?

And Sandra, you'd better confess

And say, "Where's that Turtle Wax endcap"

And scene.

And scream into it right now.

And scrub the walls.

And see if any sparks fly, huh?

And see what they do.

And she did not like it, not one bit.

And she fell right into your trap.

And she got cleared to come back to work.

And she has so little.

And she just ditched the wrappers in there.

And she knew what she was doing.

And she looked me in the eye and said,

And she meant me?

And she might pull through.

And she only speaks Spanish, so, uh,

And she was practicing smiling.

And she was really getting

And she'll give us lessons,

And she's all, "What? That's not..."

And she's worried about you having a positive outburst.

And Shelley debuted this new wig, and...

And skin is so important for the face.

And sleeping with Jerusha.

And so I just figure she's busy dealing with that right now.

And so the cards from Fenton ended up in these goodie bags

And so then I said to her,

And so wise.

And so you know,

And some loose g****s in here.

And some other word that corporate used

And someone else can get you water?

And someone says,

And sticking it at checkout.

And stuff like that.

And take this bitch to see a horse.

And tape them to my computer.

And tell him you're my friend Sandra Johnson from work.

And tell me that she's not full Sturgis.

And tell them I just planted a bomb in the store!"

And ten badges get you a banner.

And thank you.

And that any complaint really just sounds like whining...

And that it might not just be good for him

And that may be why I am so strong,

And that'll be a gift card, there.

And that's different?

And that's it.

And the bathroom floor

And the bricks in the toilet for the water conservation,

And the DM marries his daughter.

And the fact that you got everyone in the store in on it... I...

And the food options are savory or sweet?

And the garnish buffets all set up.

And the good news is the new company

And the Manhattan Clam Chowder

And the moment anyone tries to criticize you, you just explode.

And the only time Jerry's worn it

And the pictures you put in your lockers,

And the purple streak in your hair?

And the rule in gambling is, if anybody's confused,

And the sound quality's full "garbagio."

And the store needs a manager.

And then all of you get back to work.

And then bring home to bone?

And then Cheyenne gave me an axe and...

And then come back with an eastern white pine.

And then go straight into "Alas did my Savior Bleed."

And then he punched out a guy at Foodland.

And then he put it in his pocket and drove off.

And then I ended with, "Mateo's dedication

And then I'll be in grocery,

And then I'll shake your hand with the lipstick in my palm.

And then I'm going to bring it home

And then if you wanted to play for a while,

And then it's just ten minutes of him

And then just send you ads for things you were talking about.

And then my wife comes up and tickles me

And then on Tuesday, maybe Patti LaBelle, or...

And then secretly shut them out.

And then she filled up all the vodka bottles with water,

And then she said she thought I was smart and capable,

And then she went away for a few months.

And then switch back to zoo stuff?

And then that poor dog

And then that's where Emma got her ears pierced.

And then the holidays rolled around,

And then the other baby leaves too.

And then there's this guy that I'm seeing in St. Louis.

And then they'll be like, "Well, then",

And then they're gonna make it July,

And then those companies would give you the free help?

And then wait for the results.

And then we fold this...

And then we're good.

And then when they least expect it,

And then whenever we are together,

And then whoever finishes last has to roll all the joints

And then you asked me to be your Maid of Honor.

And then you can see and you don't have to ask questions?

And then you get caught up in a pyramid scheme

And then your husband breaks his tailbone

And there was, like, a little bit of gnocchi in there.

And there's no need to involve corporate,

And there's some band on the radio called the Eagles.

And these are some lucky chips

And they can arrange for Tony to sleep at your house

And they can arrange for Tony to sleep at your house

And they finalized it this afternoon.

And they helped out of the locker

And they looked... really cool.

And they loved us down there.

And they never had to watch "Sex in the City."

And they pay for it,

And they put them right where the Hawaiian shirts used to be.

And they'd post it? Do they have phones?